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Lookout Landing

7/9: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Well this has been a treat.

0 recs  |  848 comments

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Holy shit Johnson threw the ball to second and nothing bad happened
Cock slap Rob Johnson night.

That’ll fill the ballpark.

Imagine the lines. I couldn't stand to wait that long.
If Rob Fucking Johnson ends up costing us this game I'm going to run around my block screaming in agony.
I was in the middle of a beautiful hate post right there...
Was yours about Rob Johnson too?
No, it was about the guy who said he was a better option than Kenji...
I never said he was a better option. Choose your words wisely.

I merely said I hate Kenji. And “the guy!” I love my newfound anonymity!

Well,

I still think you are a fucking idiot…

Oi! Hey! Above the belt sir!
I don't think you know Kevin.
I do not. If you mean he was being sarcastic than I apologize...
Kevin is one of the most easy-going people here.

He doesn’t deserve a personal attack.

Like I said my apologizes...I am an ornory drunk tonight....
The fuck?
Seriously
This is totally worth getting in a fight over.
I'm in no way trying to cause shit. Everyone settle down.
What are you, French now?
.

 Still better than fucking dumbass Johjima.

Illegible

by kevin_ess on Jul 9, 2009 8:41 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions 0 recs

"I don't think you know Kevin."

And I’m done with this subthread.

Ah right.

My apologies, I’m new here.

Welcome back, Kevin!
It seemed like the Rangers planned that

Cause the guy stealing second was nowhere close to the bag

At least the broadcast hasn't mentioned the lolcats at all
Why doesn't any scorer ever give Rob Johnson a passed ball?
He's infallible
Hit the ground first
I think that was scored a passed ball.
It was not
Fucking Rizzs.
Yeah it only hit him in the fucking shin guards
Cuz he's "sympathetic"
I don't know that I can concentrate on this game anymore

 Not because we’re behind, but because I’m all geeked up about whatever’s going on with Yuni, and Z’s refusal to answer questions…

What'd I miss here?

Where are we hearing that Yuni is having some sort of issue?

Pulled from the Tacoma lineup at the last minute
Thanks for the info

He’s probably just having “flu-like symptoms” which is my favorite way of saying “explosive diarrhea.”

GM won't talk about it

If it was “nothing”, they’d have no problem talking about it….I would think.

Wait...what exactly happened?
Junior's bat speed is 100% intact
Wow, you think he could hit better than .220 then
In a vault, where he can't get at it
He's saving it for Cooperstown
You're so facetious.
Not as facetious as Junior's bat speed
Rob Johnson's a damn pansy

And he shies away from the runner when he’s supposed to be blocking the plate. I’m sick of seeing his pussy play.

I HATE YOU JUNIOR
I can't wait to cheer him in person
Its your fault, you gave the Rangers bullentin board material.
This is a very unlikeable team today.
Needs more Pirates.
Good one

But I’m not really sure Yuni is so much monumentally worse than Woodward or :)edeno.

much more, that is
Ah, I'm fucking sick of seeing some of these hitters
Here's an innovative idea....

HOW ABOUT YOU GET SOME FUCKING RUNNERS ON BASE AND GET SOME OTHER RUNNERS ON BASE TO DRIVE THOSE RUNNERS IN AND SCORE FUCKING RUNS?

It's getting back to the point

where I have no faith in this team to ever come back, even when we’re only a run down. Yay 2008 feelings.

The way we're hitting with RISP reminds me of May
That wasn't Reid Brignac in that Yuni picture

http://www.dbulls.com/cgi-bin/player.cgi?id=625

Well that's obviously Mark Wahlberg
So Yuni is actually Mark Wahlberg?
I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW!!!
I thought it was Dustin Pedroia
White people be all lookin alike and shit
Yep, this game makes sense
0-6 to the Rangers

That is how much faith I have in our team right now.

Even our star strikes out
90 MPH fastballs belt high being swung through
So this Tommy Hunter guy is fucking amazing.
I hate it when these nobodies shut us down

He’ll probably get lit up vs. the Angels for 10 runs in his next start.

From Baker:

“A source I know who is close to the Pirates tells me the reason special assistant Marc DelPiano is here tonight is to scout both teams. The Mariners are said to be interested in second baseman Freddy Sanchez primarily but also in veteran shortstop Jack Wilson. You may remember, we were told over a month ago that the Mariners were looking into a possible Wilson deal and one of the names bandied about was that of shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt in those talks. The Pirates were said to not be interested in a one-for-one deal because of Betancourt’s long-term cost. But what if he’s a secondary component to such a deal? Interesting.

Pittsburgh is looking for young prospects, but i’m told would take Betancourt if they liked the main players in the deal. They need a righthanded thumper bat, middle infielders and pitching. All young and cheap — except, obviously, Betancourt, if the others are good."

LAHAIR!
BIG TIME THUMPER oh fuck lefty
Wow pretty much all my trade/FA suggestions are 100% on the mark.

I should be being paid for letting them steal my ideas.

Can you give me any advice on the stock market?
No, I'm pretty lousy with money
So you're just as qualified as most people giving financial advice then
Man, I have TENS of dollars in the bank.
I have TEN of dollars in the bank!

Come onnnnn, payday!

I wonder how Adam LaRoche is going to take this trade.
Does Balentien still qualify as a RH thumper bat?

Can’t believe these idiots would take Yuni

By the way you guys Hunter is bad
He looks like Sidney Ponson in his gameday photo, which makes this game even worse.
You're only slagging on him because he is black
The worst is that I have to listen to Dave Simms pronounce "Gutierrrrrrreezzzzz" in that annoying way.
You mean right?

He says Andrus wrong strangely enough.

Update from Baker

Pirates scout is checking out both teams. We want Sanchez but would take Wilson. Pirates want a RH power bat, MIF, and pitching on the cheap. Only want Yuni if the rest of the deal is sweet.

Link

Might I suggest purchasing a box of EPT?
Probably too late for Plan B then eh?
But not too late for the coathanger
Dude that's so 1950's
Now we use ROBOTS
So in Nebraska or some shit you can abandon kids legally. Of any age.

How cool is that?

No lie?
First week a family dumped ~4 kids, infants to 17 year old! I'll find a link
And they're off to Mazatlan!
The 17 year old was funniest because they flew from Florida to do it
You're still typing? There are dishes to be done.

(Ducking)

No lie. This place looks like boys hang out here.
He could just call himself a bitch and then push himself down a flight of stairs
total BS

Rangers don’t need a SS or 2b/3b. They need pitching catching.

pitching and catching
Shades of Beltre!
BELTRE!!!!!
WHERE WAS THAT YESTERDAY YOU JOURNEYMAN FUCKFACE
WOODWARD!!
Human umps, Jeff. I'm with you.
Nice play, Woodward.

WOULD’VE BEEN MUCH NICER IF YOU MADE THAT FUCKING PLAY LAST NIGHT

YAHTZEE SUCK ON THAT YOU LILY WHITE FUCK HATER JEFF SULLIVAN
YAHTZEE SUCK ON THAT YOU LILY WHITE FUCK HATER JEFF SULLIVAN
Oops
YAHTZEE SU.... meh. Never mind.
Jeff hates fucking?
I bet he can rock it.
I'm not 100% sure I need to know...
Wait was it Matthew that was the Lily-white fuck? I wasn't clear on that.
SB, is that you?
Excited is excited
HEY LOOK YOU'RE LIKE SB NOW
WHAT A FUCKING RETARD THAT GUY IS
HE EVEN LIKES LOPEZ
I HEARD THAT ASSHOLE BOUGHT A LOPEZ JERSEY!!!
well this is late isn't it
Sit down Washington you whiny fool
So it seems Woodward can only make those plays every other time.
Only when not vital.
WOOOOO

WOW WOW

Felix is throwing way too many...

BALLS!

Felix looks a little demoralized. He knows we're not scoring.
He's doing all he can
Another excellent game for Felix.
Unfortunately the team does not support Felix.
10/3/4 GB/FB/LD distribution, good strike%, good swinging strike%...
Get runners on base. Drive in baserunners. Score.

Hopefully this isn’t too much for your tiny brains to process, M’s offense.

Woodward Johnson Cedeno YES YES YES
That's three runs right there
Does that sound like some runs?!?!?!?
Nicely done. Rec'd
If the Rangers' pitching staff is 100% terrible

Why can’t we score against them?

Our offense is pretty terrible too
Yes...

But we seem to be even more terrible when we play Texas, for some reason.

Due up: Johnson, Woodward, Cedeno.
Our offense is 110% terrible.
Because our offense is equally bad.
We aren't exactly a good litmus test
Someone has been reading their chemistry book
Because they play good defense and our offense sucks ass.
The difference a shortstop can make
Magic baseballs
This game is just like the other few games except without the first inning homerun.
Oh good Hunter is done

Surely now we will strike.

Pirates' scout is here to look at Byrd and Nelson and the Rangers want pitching in return
A sidearming righty against Woodward/Johnson/:(edeno seems necessary
Brilliant at bat there for Woodward
Well that wasn't predictable at all.
It was cute for awhile, but I think I'm done supporting Woodward
Walk and a Johnson double, tie game
Woodward already struck out
I can't believe we are losing
Chin up, buttercup.
O'day hasn't had his dose of regression yet.
GAH I CAN'T WATCH THIS ANYMORE THANK GOD WE'RE FALLING OUT OF CONTENTION
A girl scout cookie eating contest?

What in the fuck

Did your Make a Wish dream come true or something?
Sick girl scouts are like 8 years old
They are? Man. I don't even know anymore.
`
Girl Scouts of the USA: Official Web Site
The world’s largest organization dedicated to all girls ages 5-17, supported by adult volunteers. Find information, activities for girls, adult resources, …
No that's why Rizzs missed his interview with the Mariners back in 1983
Wounds like a Make a Wash dream, then
This is one of the best comments ever on LL
That's a dream they won't remember until they're 40
Just noticed that I typod that.
Felix holds one of the hottest teams in baseball to 1 run and this is what he gets in return?
:(edeño time!
Oh Yeah

Look at our first round bullpen guys tearing up the minors!

I wish we had lost against the Dodgers/Red Sox

These last two have been the most unlikely of losses and it’s much much worse to see your season go down the drain like this.

That ball was a foot outside
How are the Rangers fielding these blazing shots?
Top of the order next inning.
With the season esentally on the line. No biggie though...
I'm not sure how much more of this I can watch.

I will fucking puke if Felix ends up losing this game thanks to our dogshit offense.

Don't forget to mention...

R Johnson’s dogshit defense

Michael Saunders hit a homerun tonight. That's nice.
Between Saunders and Halman... who are we expecting to be better?
Saunders
I agree with whatever ac says.
But just so Im not crazy, BA and some other publications rated Halman as our top prospect Before the year right?
BA falls in love with tools
Not that Halman is a tool, but he has a more impressive skillset than Saunders
Yes, but I have no idea why.

Being able to make contact is pretty helpful.

Saunders is the better bet to succeed but Halman has a higher ceiling
I would think Saunders.
Holy shit, we're in the 8th already?
Game goes fast when you don't bother with those pesky runs.
Cocaine joke
Because salt looks like crack and Salty is up?
What are Murphy's numbers vs Felix? Felix seems to embarrass him every at-bat
Did anyone just hear that on the radio?
Even Dave Sims seems resigned to the fact that Felix's gem will go for naught.
There was somebody behind him still audible in the microphone barking out the attendance numbers again and again. Very weird.
The Rangers are really disciplined
Im waiting for Rob to throw one of those into right field
If not for Rob, Felix would have given up like 5 runs by now.
You think a guy who plays "catcher" could catch a damn baseball
To be fair, Felix is just burying them in the dirt

and the Rangers hitters are chasing them. He couldn’t humanly catch that last one.

The break on that was sick
How many fucking times does Rob have to drop a ball before Wak decides he's not the answer at C?
Those were breaking balls in the dirt
Maybe if I was sober, and watching on TV, I would be more objective and calm....

But I’m not sober, and Dave Sims’ nonchalant radio voice is making me release all my rage towards Rob Johnson, whether warranted or not.

Johnson did royally fuck up on the run
I will royally fuck up his mom. In bed.
SAY HEY WILLIE MAYS
And risk another one in 20 years?!
His mom has got to have hit menopause by now.
At least my DNA will produce someone who can actually play competent catcher defense.
He never once mentioned changeups in the dirt.

Calling a game on the radio is a lot different that television

I kinda enjoy Sims on TV, but his radio calling really is lacking something. It kinda lulls me to sleep.
TV blacked out with Rizzs on once, still had audio.

He immediately switched to his radio style, I’d never realized how much of a difference there is. Rizzs talks a lot , but I really think he’s pretty good

He's tolerable on radio but insufferable on tv
Blowers any good? Never seen him on tv during a game
I actually really enjoy Rizzs' radio voice, but maybe that's my childhood memories talking.

The guy is insufferable at times, but he knows how to call a game.

I'm in the same boat.
Hey he blocked one!
Felix seems to be getting even better...
At least if we lose we 're legally allowed to lynch Rob Johnson right
He's the whitest player we've ever had
White people love irony
Sounded like a foul tip.
Could've been the ball hitting the dirt, though.
Felix that was awesome
Ron Washington has argued with like 74 calls tonight
Go Mariners! Get some runs!
Brick for a glove
He blocked another!

And found it… eventually. I think he was surprised that he stopped it!

I have no words
He just got 3 swinging K's on pitches in the dirt.
FUCK YOU ROB JUST PICK UP THE BALL AND GET THE OUT

THREE DROPPED STRIKE THREES THAT INNING. WOW. HAD ANDRUS STARTED RUNNING TO FIRST THOUGH HE WOULD HAVE BEEN SAFE BY A FOREVER BECAUSE ROB HAD NO CLUE WHERE THE BALL WAS

CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK
.

Wow, JI really made some good gifs before he decided to retire
stop refreshing, it's going to be the same picture of a naked chick no matter how many times you click it
A beautiful effort by the King. Wonder if he gets sick of playing for inept franchise.
So Felix struck out the side on three dropped third strikes.
Not dropped.

I hate RJ as much as the next guy, but Felix buried those pitches in the dirt.

which is amazing that all three swung
I feel like the outcome of this game will be dictated by Ichiro's AB..
I sure hope you're right.
I fucking hate Rob Johnson
Please score runs
Oh please god just one run!
YES YES YES YES YES YES
Cedeno has the 20th best wOBA


….


among pitchers.

Go, Ichiro, go!
Ha ha ha what stupid cracker ass cracker
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ICHI-FUCKING-RO
Hahahahaha David Murphy!
IT'S MUSCLIN' TIME
Please don't squander this you scrotums...
FUCK BLAST RIGHT HERE
Must get it done here. THe next two guys are terrible
I can't believe Ichiro did that to that pitch
Come on Bran Bran.
Why are they not walking him?
Because he's striking out like crazy of late?
Yeah, that's new
Actually Branyan has struck out at a historical rate during his career
Branyan is going to hit Qwest Field this at bat.
Or not. =(
He should focus on hitting the baseball.
Just as soon as the game is over
I love when Ichiro wins games by himself.

I hate that he has to.

Yeah we sure are winning
If 2, 3 and 4 hitters can't get ichiro home...
1 down, 2 to go!
We deserve to lose? Indeed.
God fucking damn it we're going to go like 0-10 with RISP this game
WHY DO WE GET THE BAD REGRESSION FIRST
That was very unlikely. Branyan back to the mound. How odd.
That's unusual.
DON'T SUCK LOPEZ PLEASE
Ichiro needs to steal
Steal home.
From second
He's an amazing ball player.
One fucking single. That's all we fucking need.
It may be too much to ask of this team.
I am 100% certain that Junior will get it done
I like those odds.
IT WASN'T A WILD PITCH
Somehow I actually have some faith left in Loafie right here
probably misguided
NOT A STRIKE!
looked pretty good actually
Wake up, Lopez
Ichiro needed to steal all the bases
I wish I didn't care so much, this is killing me
Don't worry, 5 outs and you don't have to care until April
No then we'll just take the next 3 and it will be more nerve wracking then ever in the 2nd half
Did Mike Maddux just finish eating a chocolate bunny?
Oh just go for the poop joke
Seriously though what was that
.

Soul patch?
Hey wait your mlbDVR actually works?
They showed him twice
I knew it was too good to be true
I think he watches on Normal and then switches to the delayed HD to capture.
And the moustache part?
No weirder than

Just finished taking Andruw Jones to browntown
Lopez, I have come to hate you. Get off my team.
Ichi couldn't get to the third on that?
That surprised me too
It was fairly shallow
I think he was playing for the hit.
Wouldn't have been worth it
Fuck off Junior
False hope!
My god our #3 and 4 hitters are so bad
I would ph the shit out of griffey against this lefty
Why are people cheering?

This is the worst matchup imaginable.

Oh Christ please rekindle just a little mojo here.
CAN I HAZ A SHELTON BURGER?

sorry, just jioned the thread. You guys probably beat that one to death already.

I do recommend looking at the last thread though.
Holy shit if Griffey walks we actually have hope
TAKE TAKE TAKE
YES!

Walk him and bring up Gutz!

Please. Why is this guy swinging 3-0.
That was ball 4! that's why not!
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SWING

SHUT THE FUCK UP RISSZ AND BLOWERS

Oh, for the love of baby Jesus....
My Jesus likes to party.
Swings at ball 4. Then takes one right down the middle
Fuck this shit
Ouch where was the swing from the asshole on that one
This will be the worst strikeout in recent memory
WHAT A GREAT FUCKING IDEA TO SWING ON 3-0

NOW YOU’RE GOING TO K YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER

Fouls are so aggravating. Soooo aggravating.
I predict:

Strikeout

That or a lazy fly out. Or a walk.
hey look you're wrong
great prediction
Just K him and end this false hope.
They should ban these constant meetings at the mound
The hopes of a season rest on this at bat.

Well not really but damn could we please just win an important game? Really?

I love how Ichiro is not going to even move.
THANK YOU FOR TAKING
GUTZ UP = REAL HOPE!
Finally, the griffey walk.
Ooooo I'll accept the walk.
Clogging up the bases
Rizzs, a "bouncy ball"...really?
IT'S GUTI TIME
CJ Wilson apparently thinks he's a jedi, according to the texas broadcast
He has a Jedi Mentalitty
THIS IS SO MUCH GOOD
Josh Wilson is in the game!
He has to be so pissed he can't take Woodward's job from him
I'll be fucking dipped in butter....
I LOVE YOU GUTZ PLEASE COME THROUGH
Niiiiiiiice.

They’re still gonna be stranded though.

JOSH WILSON SIGHTING
Regress you fucking BP.
HOLY SHIT IT'S JOSH WILSON
Standing ovation!
Good news; Gutz is up.

Bad news: I have to hear Simms over-pronounce his name.

As opposed to spelling it wrong
Is he at your house?
I didn't know Josh Wilson was on the team.
Apparently we were saving him for today.
Josh Wilson was still here?
Who the fuck is Josh Wilson?
It's what Griffey calls his spare knees
JFNMVBHE:QWJKGV:EUKVGDGJKL:VD
GTUZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLEY SHIT HE DID IT
GUTZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!
HOLY FLAMING ANUS
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!
GAY BASH!!!!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK ME RUNNING
GIF THAT MOTHERFUCKING FELIX
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OHH MMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKINGGGGGGGGGGG GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
HOLY FUCK

GUT SEXQ!!!! ME ADDFUCK MY ASS

GUTZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOODBYE BASEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFGGOSDHLFHDFHWIFOEHWFJBOGUEHWO
I WANT YOU NOW GUTZ!
NOW MORE THAN EVER
ARE YOU FUCKING WITH MY SHIT
NO NOT EVEN A LITTLE
GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTZ!!
OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I WANT YOU SO BAD I LOVE YOU

I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH

YOU SEXY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!
GUTZ! GUTZ! I KNEW IT! I HOPED IT!!!!!! AHAHAHAH WHEEEEEEEEEEEE
GUTI GUTIDJFIODJFOIJDIF JOIDJFGUTI JGUTI GUTI
Bahahahahahahahahahahahaa
ANY WHERE YOU WANT TO PUT IT, GO AHEAD!
I FUCKING LOVE FELIX!!!
OH MY FUCKING SHIT FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!

MARINERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

ARE YOU SHITTING ME ARE YOU SHITTING ME ARE YOU SHITTING ME
I'm hard....
HOLY FUCK I LOVE YOU!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
GUTZ IS THE BEST
;EKRNMJHNMJBV'LDNABMF'LKHMADRKHYY;REAHNE
Holy shit!

I love Gutz!

I TOTALLY CALLED THAT I DIDN'T POST BUT I SAID WELL THEN A GRIFFEY WALK AND THE A GUTI GAY BASH
FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHIN HOLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BINGOBANGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGONAOSghPOADSGHQEPOGH
BINGOBANGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGONAOSghPOADSGHQEPOGH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1;FNOI2JKJDSKVJHSDKJHIURHGKSJVMDNHPIY 7IYERP

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

I'M FUCKING SHAKING I JUST SCREAMED AND SCARED EVERYONE IN MY HOUSE
Holy fuck that was SMOKED
THANK GOD I SPENT ALL THAT TIME LEARNING HOW TO SUPRESS MY GAG REFLEX
STILL HETERO BUT WISHES TO BE BI
I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT
Fuck me 73 times you bunch of shitbags! YEAHHHHHH!!!!
:LWEIKTSDJ:OGIWJHETIO:HL:KJSDNVL:SDNFKL:SADQWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BEST PLAYER IN MLB HISTORY
BAHAHAHAHAHA
AW HAPPY FELIX!
I'M WRONG

I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG, I’M WRONG,

Hahahahaha fuck putz
Watch our bullpen blow it now.
SHUT UP
You are only mad because they have the last two games we should have won.
WE ARE MAD BECAUSE YOU ARE URINATING ON OUR PARADE YOU DEBBIE DOWNER
SHHHHHHH. SHHHHHHHHHUT UP. SHH!!
I will find you make you watch horrible horrible things
SHUT UP. SHUT IT.
GO SIT ON A TACK
seriously what the fuck
no seriously what the fuckl
i am so glad you are here
this is sarcasm
what the flying fuck
What the fuck is wrong with you?
go hump the rally monkey or something
Fuck that monkey too.
HEY LOOK THAT WAS WRONG
seriously though what the flying fuck
Franklin is the fucking best!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY CAN’T IT BE ON TV OR RADIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GUTIERREZ JERSEY HAS BEEN ON ALL GAME!!!!
I'd pee in his butt.
Somehow, this worked the second time around.
Holy shit that was the ebst reaction to anything ever by Felix
Well that was weird.
DANCE FELIX DANCE
I LOVE FELIX!!!

I LOVE GUTZ!!!

DON'T EVER LET HIM GO FELIX, HOLD ON
FELIX IS SO FUCKING HAPPY!

I LOVE IT

I'M GOING TO GO INTO THE CLOSET AND THEN COME OUT
I RECOMMEND THAT
HOW DO YOU LIKE THE PINK SHIRT I FOUND
BWAHAHAHA
THIS SKINNY TIE IS DELICIOUS
I THINK SO ALSO
AS SOMEONE WHO RECENTLY WENT GAY FOR GUTIERREZ, I RECOMMEND A FISHNET SHIRT.
THANK YOU I WILL KEEP THAT IN MIND
AND NIPPLE RINGS
MYYY OHHHH MYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
TURNING POINT
Holy fucking hell that was amazing.
Holy shit that was the ebst reaction to anything ever by Felix
IT'S A FUCKING STORYBOOK LIFE FOR FRANKLIN GUTIERREZ
Felix reaction GIF...someone get that bitch up!
For CHrist's fucking sake if you care that much do it your self
Felix looks ready to make sweet love to Gootch

I’d pay money to watch that

THAT JUST HAPPENED
I honestly don't think I've ever loved a player this much
Me neither! I bought his jersey 2 months ago and had to get it personalized because they didnt have it yet
DOES FELIX GET THE WIN?

IF WE HOLD THE LEAD.

Nope.
I don't think...
I'm pretty sure he does.
PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT WAS ALL JOSH FUCKING WILSON!!!
Vote Gutz for the new Jesus!
Is Felix gonna finish this off?
White Striped - Helping the Mariners rally since July 9th 2009.
Oh fuck me.

Stripe.

Well, technically you are White Striped after downing a White Stripe.
I love how they were giving Griffey credit for that
OH MY GOD I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED
Please let Felix finish this!
That's it, I'm not waiting for them to extend Felix

I’m getting a Gutierrez jersey.

SIGN GUTZ TO A 30 YEAR CONTRACT
Club control!
But, but, but...

Texas pitching is 100% terrible!!!!!

IT'S TIME FOR THE AARDSMA EXPRESS PLEASE DON'T FUCK UP THIS TIME
Branyan seems to be falling back to earth in a hurry
Hahaha...Felix making him take a curtain call...
Gutz has an .810 OPS

MVP.

Best center fielder in baseball
So which was the bigger steal, Branyan or Gutierrez?

It’s gotta be Gutz, right?

Hows Putz been? hahahhaa
Gutz. He makes like 400K and he's young and ours for awhile
Not to mention Green is terrible and Putz is broken

Valbuena may be decent though.

Easily Gutz.

But Branyan carried this offense (alongside Ichiro) the first three months. Now Gutz is going to do the same over the last four months.

I want Felix to finish!
112

but ahhhhhh Aardsma.

I know

and I am scared.

OH MY TITTYFUCKING JESUS
SO MANY GIFS TO MAKE
THIRTY SECOND MONEYSHOT ON MY FACE GIF
HI DEF
Do you really want one?
Like you haven't made it already
I have - Sort of.
Can I repost the unmentionable one?
I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!
Endless gifs if you can pull it off
I need a cigarrette.
Manyan

No one wanted him.

FELIX with a towel on his head is the best thing ever
The bearhug being a close second
I know, right?

Hilarious!

YOU CAN DO THIS AARDSMA

WE STILL LOVE YOU

SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS!
AARDSMA IN, GAME TERRIFYING
Wow.

Between laughing at this and the awesome that is this game suddenly, I think I may cry.

Please, Aardsma. Please……

Now all we have to do is survive Kinsler, Young, and Hamilton

Erggh.

Hot, steaming, Venezuelan sex balls!
If the DA fucks this up, it may be hard to forgive him
You mean you have forgiven him already?
WHY ARE YOU YOU
MOST IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU YOU NOW
Yes, we played like crap yesterday, we shouldnt have even been winning that game.

I could deal with that blown save. But tonight you can’t blow the save adfter that amazing Gutz homer

A loss is a loss
Emotionally it's different though.
Losing games you were winning when you shouldn't be winning is fucking awful

especially when you blow the lead in a totally freakish way like that. Yesterday’s loss was the second worst of the season.

Yeah he should make the infielder field better
fdsg.hasdkghaelkejg

I hate close games

No no no no more of those
DEEP FLYOUT!

THINGS ARE GONNA BE OKAY!

Too close for my liking.
I can never tell when Ichio is watching one fly or when he is just camping under it...
AARDSMA IS ON HIS GAME
ONE MORE TO GO
AARDSMA KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF
Yes ICHIRO!
God Dammit, stopt it!!!
RANGERS PITCHING IS 100% TERRIBLE!
Stop pitching like shit
ICHIRO FOR HALL OF EVERYTHING!
WHOOOOOOOOOO

FUN!

I love Safeco!

Thank god this isn’t in Texas

THIS IS SCARY!!!
THIS AIN'T ARLINGTON MOTHERFUCKER.
ONE FUCKING OUT LEFT
How has he only given up one HR!
Aardsma...go to your inner "Dandy House"...
One more out, let's finish this thing!
GO GO GO GO GO
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES
WHAT A SAVE
Aardsma's terrifying again :(
MARINERS WIN!!!!!!!!!!
AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA WE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL HAIL FRANKLIN GUTIERREZ
AARDSMA SAYS FUCK YOU INFIELD
As well he should!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!
What a game
VICTORY WE HAVE VICTORY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HAHAHAHA YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
GAME OVER

EPIC!

FUCK YEAH WHAT A WIN

NOW LET’S HAVE SOME GIFS MOTHERFUCKER.

FUCKING YES!
YES!!!!

WHAT A FUCKING WIN THAT WAS!!!

PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT TEXAS
OR FREEBASE IT OR WHATEVER YOU DO NOW
Ichro loves Fraklin
GAME!

Listening to the Rangers announcers made it so much better! They sound fucking depressed.

Wow!

That was a quick Safeco Save.

STATEMENT WIN!!!
This game went from heart breaking to incredible in 5 minutes.
LAUNCH D-RAYS LANDING!
INCREDIBLY QUICK AARDSMA
LOS MARINEROS HAN GANADO
I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF THE CLIFF.
Playoffs?
YOU BETTER FUCKIN BELIEVE IT
PLAYOFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
10 minutes ago we were a sorry bunch.. Now we're dancing in our undies. At least I am.
Psssh, who wears undies?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I NEEEEED A FUCKING CIGAREETTTEEEE
YES YES NO NO DAMMIT
WHAT JUST HAPPENED
FRANKLIN GUTIERREZ
I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.

Holy tapdancing Christ.

So that was all Griffey

amazingly

MARINERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Most satisfying win of the season for me. Hands down.
So glad I put on my Hernandez jersey for the 8th inning
GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL
If Yuni is traded tonight, this is the best night of the season.

I can haz cheezburger night. The best night of the season so far.

If Yuni is DFA'd tonight, it'll still count.
I want "I can haz cheezburger night" every night!

Incredible .gifs, incredible trades, and incredible games!

YAY FRANKLIN!

There was a black kid in Peanuts?!
This was so much more fun...

than last game.

Are we on a boat again?

Or has that meme permanently docked?

TOOOOOT TOOOOOOOT FUCK IT. IT'S BOAT TIME AGAIN BOATFUCKERS!!!
Bedard is back on the boat!

I missed the boat, glad to see it's back.
Jeff on boat?
DO IT
I'm so done for tonight.
Someone get this man some steroids!

Or another White Stripe!

Its red stripe isn't it?

Fuck I’m dumb

I don't drink so I wouldn't know!

Actually, I know there is Red Stripe beer and a White Stripes band. Was not entirely certain if White Stripe was also a beer or not.

Its Red stripe

sigh.

Someone get this man a case of Red Stripe, ASAP!
Dear God, YES!
YOU'RE SO AWESOME FRANKLIN
YES WE CAN (has cheezburger)
I'm going out to light some cars on fire!!!
Ha ha ha--Gutz still has his glove on!
DON'T FORGET THAT YUNI MIGHT BE GONE!!!
Seeing Felix pull the towel off his head after he heard the crack of the bat is so fucking great.
Is that what happened? Hiding his head in misery kind of thing?

I need to see this, hope it’s in the highlights

I'll show you Saturday. I recorded it.
Oh my god I love you, best 5 minutes of the season
They just showed it a second ago, awesome.
The look on his face is one of the best things I've ever seen
I KNEW IN MY HEART I WAS MEANT TO GO TO CHEEZBURGER NIGHT

WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T I GO

BEST DAY EVER!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Good looking, good at baseball, eloquent and polite.

He is the total package

I WANT TO SEE HIS TOTAL PACKAGE
Your killing me with these.

I want to post it so bad because its so perfect.

What a classy man.
That one's staying on the DVR for a long damn time.
AND OVER TO LSB I GO.

JUST TO LOOK.

do. not. troll.
Don't you dare post anything
I'm back. Just took a look.
what is protocal for that sort of thing?
Do not ever troll another team's blog.

Ever.

I'm reading it now ... and it's tough. Cuz they're so dumb! Dumbdumbs.
.

I'm not sure I'm ever gonna rec as many posts in a single thread as I have tonight.

Technically two threads but oh well.

And pretty much don't post there at all after games.
but its ok if you are a member of that blog
It is not okay to purposefully be an obnoxious dick to fans of opposing teams while affiliating yourself with us
You have to be a member to post.

Therefore, you have to be a member to troll.

You troll another team's blog and you're banned here
Also, Fogel gets to eat your soul.
I don't know what to do with this comment, so I'll rec it
and all of their dudes will come here to troll
If you post a comment over there you will be banned from here
Even a serious "Hey, good game"?
Yes because it wouldn't be taken that way
I'm glad I posted mine yesterday.
If you go to Gameday, the little picture preview for Gutierrez's home run HAS FELIX'S FACE.

Even MLB recognized the awesome part.

Whew that was close. Great come from behind.

GUTI!!!!!!
And also credit to Ichi for the lead off double. And Junior for walking, though he almost mesed it up.

I am usually in a good mood when Rick Rizzs mentions "The Happy Totals"
Guti would come from behind.
Wait, we won right?
Serious Question....

Does Franklin Gutierrez wear eye lash makeup?

I WOULD LIKE HIM TO APPLY HIS MAN MAKEUP TO MY EYELASHES
Go M's

Woodward had a web gem.

Nice work Felix.

Frankie is clutch!!

Sorry 4 talking sh!t about you last night DAARDVARK

It was good hearing Rick Rizz on TV. I hate hearing Sims.

Sims is a treasure. Hush.
This game needed Ken Levine.
It's been far too long.
YES!!!

Mia Culpa for hating him in his first stint with the M’s. I completely misunderstood him at the time, and woefully regret my glee when I heard he was no longer broadcasting with them…

No wonder Rob has a good CERA. He never gets passed ball called on him.

Great outing by Felix. But damn you Johnson for not catching that damn passed ball.

I'm going to play Fallout 3 now.

To make this day even more perfect.

Yes! And I'll dedicate a song from the game to Gutierrez

“I’m as corny as Kansas in August
High as a flag on the fourth of July
If you’ll excuse an expression I use
I’m in Love, I’m in Love, I’m in Love, I’m in Love
I’m in Love, I’m in Love, I’m in Love, I’m in Love
I’m in Love with a Wonderful Guy!!!!”

Did we trade for gutz?
Seriously? Yep, part of the Putz trade I think
I might be wrong, that trade was a little crazy, and I get some of the guys confused with the Heilman trade
Yup. Epic Blockbuster...

Putz, Green, Reed, Valbuena, Morse, Jones, Mickolio, Sherrill, Tillman, Butler

for

Carp, Cabrera, Cleto, Vargas, Olson, Gutz, Cedeno, Langerhans and Bedard.

And…

Bavasi, DFA’d to make room for Jack Zduriencik…

Yes. He was the target in the three-way Putz trade.
Oh my god I should memorize every player, beautiful trade.
Yeah I was just confused cause couldnt really remember all the details of that deal
or any of the details
3 teams, 12 players? Crazy trade!
Sportscenter intro has fucking Rizzs calling Gutz's home run!

I love West Coast Sportscenter!

I miss all the best games.

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