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Lookout Landing

Thoughts On A Picture

  • Betancourt: Hey there, how's i
    Ichiro: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

  • When moving a heavy crate, a shortstop, or a large piece of furniture, it's important to remember to push with your legs, not your back. 

  • Yuni was a much better dancer as a rookie, too.

  • Nobody builds a fortune by leaving change on the ground, and as such Ichiro is very serious about finders-keepers.

  • Though Mariner fans have always wanted to see what Ichiro would look like on the mound, he is more interested in moonlighting as a linebacker.

  • Ichiro: You feel your legs moving? You feel them moving as a push you? That's called "motion." You need it to field baseballs.

  • Though no longer on the 25-man roster, Endy Chavez is far from forgotten.

  • Ichiro is fascinated by big spiders, but Yuni's always been squeamish.

  • Experiencing a severe blow to the stomach is a cardinal part of Royal orientation.

3 recs  |  39 comments

Comments

We know Ichiro likes the hippity-hop, so how about:

MOVE BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY
GET OUT THE WAY BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY

No, all of Jeffs' are better except maybe the linebacker one.
Ichiro as a LB?

My dream of a 1-9-1 defense comes ever closer!

I'd run a 10-1-0
You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out ...
Unstoppable force vs. immovable object
Fantastic! I love it!

Also, thank you for finally making the flagbearer of inane pseudo-philosophical questions useful!

Yuni thought it was just going to be a normal burp.....

But now he has a mouthful of delicious carnitas infused stomach acid.

I mean this in the most flattering way possible:

This series reminds me of Daniel Tosh’s “Let’s See How Many Comments I Can Make Before the Video is Over” bit.

I brought this up the last time Jeff did one of these.
So this means

that Yuni’s dream of physically assaulting our entire opening day OF has come true.

Ichiro didn't play on opening day.

He had that ulcer, remember?

Thanks!

For the reminder, it seems like so long ago

Why can't Ichiro want to play safety instead?

>:(

He'd go down like Bo.
Watching Ichiro blow up Frank Gore would be absolutely stellar.
I picture Ichiro more as a Deion Sanders type corner.
I wouldn't mind seeing him end Vernon Davis' career or life.
Sounds like Vernon's taking care of item one hisself.
We have to have one white guy on the defense!
Patrick Kerney!

(provided his shoulders don’t explode)

He's a condiment!
Brian (ugh) Russell.
That's why Ichiro can't play safety!
Good News!

You don’t have testicular cancer!

Yuni did not remember to cough.
Ichiro may have also been too thorough.
It's not like Yuni had any, er, "male parts" in the first place.
Ok seriously the racism needs to stop

Just because we disliked his play on the field it doesn’t make him any different from the rest of us. Monkeys have the same genitalia that humans do.

It's not racist if it's true.
Gutierrez has a swollen ass when he's in heat.
Does Griffey have the same condition?
Άρης swells for no one.
"Sometimes he tickles me here, Yuni. Shhh. Our secret."
Show me on the monkey where the Gutz touched you.

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