Team stores have long exerted an element of control over the names that they will and will not affix to the backs of customizable jerseys. Though they allow for player selection and fan personalization, the production and distribution of jerseys in offensive or otherwise questionable taste such as an Atlanta Falcons Ron Mexico #7 or a Toronto Maple Leafs Baron von Cockmaven #00 are strictly forbidden. The promotion and subsequent success of Doug Fister, however, has blurred the line between what is and what isn't appropriate, causing Mariner team store employees great difficulty in separating genuine Fister jersey requests from the predictably tasteless ones. In order to properly ascertain the intentions of each prospective customer, then, I encourage the use of the following application.
10 recs | 28 comments
It's very hard to read such small words
JForester - September 4, 2009
We should make a custom Fister tshirts
“FISTER” across the back of it, and something like this in place of the jersey number:
(from Pittman’s blog)
appleshampoo - September 4, 2009
I have a headache after reading it, but hilarious nonetheless.
Teej - September 4, 2009
The alternative was putting up an MS Word link but then no one would open it
Jeff Sullivan - September 4, 2009
I could barely sign my name, J. Peter Forester, in the space provided
JForester - September 4, 2009
If I enjoy the works of Asher Roth...
am I disqualified for a shirt??
NoStars - September 4, 2009
er
Jersey?
NoStars - September 4, 2009
Depends on your other answers!
Jeff Sullivan - September 4, 2009
I think I did really well...
I usually do well on these pass/fail tests. I saw Fister in Tacoma against Las Vegas this summer. I think that pushes me to the front of the line.
NoStars - September 4, 2009
Brilliant
I don’t really want to look up Asher Roth but who is he?
Slurvey - September 4, 2009
White Rapper
I love college. Ring any bells?
NoStars - September 4, 2009
Not really...
Slurvey - September 4, 2009
That's probably a good thing.
I Lick Squirrels - September 4, 2009
I didn't recognize the name but I know the song.
I would like to say I’m surprised it got popular but of course I am not.
Gihyou - September 5, 2009
First name should be omitted...
And q1 should be “What is Fister’s first name?”
PositivePaul - September 4, 2009
"The"
CapSea - September 5, 2009
Any chance Fister wears #69 next year?
David89 - September 4, 2009
I do not know who Asher Roth is and after googling him I don't care to know.
I will only get a Fister shirt if it is on a massive sale and I am drunk … and won the lottery or something.
mark sobba - September 4, 2009
And yet...
Aaron Campeau - September 4, 2009
Why 20?
BRKLN M'S - September 5, 2009
"If yes to #6, are you a medical professional?"
does that include vets and psychic surgeons?
msb - September 5, 2009
Do you think if two women go to a Safeco game together and one or both are wearing a Fister jersey they would be ejected?
Bearskin Rugburn - September 5, 2009
I don't see why gender matters
Poochie - September 5, 2009
I am going to be at the game tomorrow. I think I'll bring a sign that reads "You've Been Fisted!" and hold it up every time Fister Ks someone.
InSpokane - September 5, 2009
You are going to be thrown out, but this will be really worth it.
Oh wait, it isn’t at the Safe, Oakland will be thankful for you custom.
marinerdan - September 5, 2009
My wife has said No.
InSpokane - September 5, 2009
You'll be glad to hear that this is the only page that comes up under a google search for "Baron von Cockmaven"
Jack Moore - September 5, 2009
Is it sad that I actually checked to make sure you were right?
Zach Sanders - September 6, 2009
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