Lookout Landing

It's actually "I WANT TO FUCK THIS GUY"

commonly misheard lyric.

SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPS, AND MOTHERFUCKING RAINBOWS

AND PONIES, DON"T FORGET THE PONIES.

Bearskin Rugburn - January 18, 2010 reply

FUCKITY YES!!!!!

HAPPY FELIX DAY EVERYONE

Thank you :)

Felix days are here again!

The skies above are clear again…

Sunshine Lollipops and Rainbows

tait644 - January 18, 2010 reply

SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

IT’S 11:30 AND I DON’T CARE

craig3410 - January 18, 2010 reply

only 9:30 here

Oh

evanr - January 18, 2010 reply

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESIUETAUKFGKJSAEGHFKAWF

made my day. Made my year so far, in conjuction with the Guti singing. FELIX, YOUR DRILL IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!!!

My Mariner insider said based on the way they evaluate players Felix Hernandez is the best player on the team

What about Franklin Gutierrez

How's his team chemistry?

When he pitches, the team tends to win ballgames, so it must be quite good

Chemistry

But when he pitches the other players don’t get to do as much.

zeeehjee - January 18, 2010 reply

SORRY-IS GAME THREAD EMOTION ALLOWED?

I think you know the answer to that question

Go ahead.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Felix extension emotion only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

coreyjro - January 18, 2010 reply

LIKE FUCK IT IS

I JUST ORGASMED AT WORK!

THIS IS AWKARD!

Here's a tissue.

what if he's not male?

that’s a really wierd subject line

My room needs a snorkel

Fett42 - January 18, 2010 reply

The only thing I might like more than this news

Is watching everyone react to it…this post had NO responses less than 5 minutes ago…

section331 - January 18, 2010 reply

Fan-f'n-tastic!

More Felix, please.

Matt Gardner - January 18, 2010 reply

IT IS MARINERS DAY

EVERYONE GO TO FANFEST AND SING PRAISES OF OUR GM

GODDAMNIT I WAS HOPING TO SLEEP TONIGHT

YES YES YES

RUN FULL SPEED INTO A WALL, BUT HEAD FIRST.

I WANT TO BE ALIVE MORE THAN EVER RIGHT NOW

UNCONSCIOUS IS ALIVE

HOW CONVENIENT

FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES YOU ARE

CKel - January 18, 2010 reply

THE MARINERS ARE SHOWERING US IN THEIR GLORY

AND WE DON’T MIND THAT IT’S STICKY

MIND? MIND? I WANT IT TO BE STICKY

AWESOME!

its the stickiness that

gives us our ecstacy

It's the ecstasy that gives us our stickiness*

CKel - January 18, 2010 reply

its a neverending cycle of ecstasy and stickiness!

Kinda kinky

but appropriate if the rumor is true. May it be so!!!

It's like trickel down economics.

But with joy.

SNOOPY DANCE TIME!

James F'n X - January 18, 2010 reply

Is the one on the left, Asian Snoopy?

That is racial humor, not racist humor.

Is this going to be our disclaimer from now on?

After a week, it will just be: It's funny and go fuck yourself.

I can't wait for a month after that.

EVERYONE'S FUCKING THEMSAELFVES RIGHT NOW~!

I'm already done

Lookout Landing: racial, not racist

Is it your goal in life to make sure everyone knows this?

Affirmative.

Snoopy is very popular in China.

katal - January 18, 2010 reply

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM !

Now I know what a Scruffy Lefty orgasm sounds like

Also, he yells headshot a lot.

.

James F'n X - January 18, 2010 reply

I think you need to post images to celebrate.

Return of the cock monster?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT IS!

woot

FUCKING EVERYTHING RIGHT!

EEEVVVVEERRYTHING! FFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!

a"DFKSAl;FKjdsajfl;dsafjfjdasl;kdfsj

ROBERT!

And the BoSox fans are rioting in Havard square.

To be fair, they could just be extending him and then trading him to Boston.

I hear they’ve got a boatload of prospects.

BUT THAT WOULD BE FALSE ON ACCOUNT OF I WILL EVISCERATE YOU

YOU'RE WRONG AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.

Correct on both counts.

GO SUCKLE YOUR SMALL PENIS

WRECKED FOR MAKING TELLING OFF AN ANGELS FAN!

Ah, yes. I didn't even have to respond.

Thanks everyone!

Did you have to? Really?

It's what I do.

Does it have to be?

Every comment thread needs a foil.

Needs?

Feh. I give up.

CHOOO CHOOO

ALL ABOARD THE TRAIN TO FELIX SEXLAND!

Train isn't fast enough

aussie_chop - January 19, 2010 reply

troll*

greymstreet - January 18, 2010 reply

Bitch, please.

There’s a difference.

He isn't a troll.

Booooooooooooooooo!!!

*Harvard

Got a wee bit too excited.

*Hahvahd

OMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGOD

OMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGOD

ROBERT!

ROBERT

HIGH FIVES FOR EXTENSIONS

A ticket please.

HELL YEAH

RAIL ROAD ME FELIX

So much quiet joy

Let's turn this fucker green

Done

Glad to help out boss

It was green before you rec'd it

CHOOOOO CHOOOOO

Subject line

You're extra-cute when you're sassy.

One of the all-time great gifs

Robert Lintott - January 19, 2010 reply

I have entered a calm state of quiet joy

In order to maintain it however, I require Scruffy, Robert, Abender and Fogel to continue freaking out

FREAKING OUT

YES YES YES YES

FELIX PARTY TIME!!!!

MUCH BETT!

GO GO GO GOG OGO@!!!

FUCK YEAH! LETS GET THE DETAILS BITCHES!

joof - January 18, 2010 reply

FEEEEEEELLLLLLLLIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to rec the shit out of this!

just like Felix is going to wreck the shit out of the Angels!

GOD MY VAG IS WET RIGHT NOW

PROBABLY STICKY RTOO!

we know

SHUTUP AND BE MORE ENTHUSIASTIC MAN!

IS IT LIKE A RIVER

This made me smile.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

SCREW BEING HUNGOVER FOR 8 AM CLASS TOMORROW THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATORY PYRAMID HEFEWEIZEN

That'll send you over the edge

or seven

SCREW CLASS TOMORROW THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATORY PYRAMID HEFEWEIZEN

Fixed that for you.

DRINK TWELVE

Grady Clapp - January 18, 2010 reply

FUCK THAT.

ONE FOR EVERY DOLLAR WE’RE PAYING FELIX~!

Totally! Wait... what?

That sentence did not end how I expected it to.

LETS FUCK FUCKED UP!

it was either that or

SCREW BEING HUNGOVER FOR 8 AM CLASS TOMORROW THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATORY SHINERS BOCK

or

SCREW BEING HUNGOVER FOR 8 AM CLASS TOMORROW THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATORY BOULEVARD BULLY!

or

SCREW BEING HUNGOVER FOR 8 AM CLASS TOMORROW THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATORY BUDWEISER

I figured I’d drink local

You've changed Corco

And the Budweiser is only used for cooking beer can chicken!

I meant more the implication that you'd get a hangover from one beer.

IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US.

WHERE ARE YOUR CAPS AT CARRUFFIES?

Busy GIFing

NO, CAPS NOW!

If I were Felix, I'd be insulted. Shots, anyone?

WHOOPIE!!!!

WHAT DOES FELIX HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS

HE'S CUMMINGQ

I am pleased.

I am happy for the posters who de-lurked recently.

I hope you kids enjoy yourselves!

I TO2LLY LUV FELIX GONZALEZ HES MI HERO

I WILL DON'T YOU WORRY

It doesn't get any better than this!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Atta boy Scruffles!

YOUR SIG SEEMS SO APPROPRIATE NOW

Someone should post the gif of Felix popping out from under the towel after the Gutz HR.

I'LL NEVER DO ANYTHING ON 1/18 AGAIN

Unlike you guys, I'm not a minute man

It’s going to take me another couple minutes to…oh dear, I think its happened. I blue myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJDLRCXR2ZM

RECCED FOR BEING AWESOME!

HELL AND FUCK YES

a bit extensive

WHY ARE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE

FACE FACE FACE!

THATS JUST THE WAY I ARE HOMEIZ

ALL CAPS NIGHT ASSHOLE

WRONG

YOU ARE A ASS LICK AND NEED TO TAKE A BULLET DICK

HAVE A REC

AND ANOTHER.

NOWS NOT THE TIME FOR YUM YUMS

FUCK THAT NOW IS THE TIME OFR THE BEST YTUYM YUMS!

THE STREETS KNOW JUST WHAT THIS IS

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YES YES YES

JUST LOOK A LITTLE UP THE THREAD AND WATCH JEFF DANCE TO THIS SONG..AWESOME

IT'S HAPPENING IT'S HAPPENING IT'S HAPPENING IT'S HAPPENING

Perfect!

WEEEEEEEEE

YES YES YES YES YES

.

He is pointing because he is happy

and so am I!

katal - January 18, 2010 reply

YES

I LOVE IT!

I WAS AT THAT GAME!!!!

Felix is OURS and no one else can have him!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!

Davey86 - January 18, 2010 reply

HAPPY!

I Lick Squirrels - January 18, 2010 reply

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

I guess it makes sense, since it is King day after all.

Holy shit.

GENIUS

Love it

and I’m sure that MLK would too!!!

this was MLK's dream

THIS THREAD IS FUCKING EPIC

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM

HIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVECOCK SLAPHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVEHIGH FIVE

YES

EVERYDAY I SEE MY DREAM EVERY DAY I SEE MY DREAM

Sorry, MLK. Looks like Felix just stole your thunder.

Nah

I think he is ok with sharing!

The extension we wanted and the extension we needed!

I'm getting an extension

just thinking about it!!!

WOW! THIS IS INCREDIBLE! Our two best enjoying themselves.

WE ARE UNBEATABLE EVERY FIVE DAYS FROM THIS DAY FORTH

Cliff Lee is pretty swell too

Ahem.

It’s Cliff fuckin Lee.

*CLIFFLEE!

I'm not really big on the cussing

Correct.

(Good to know someone is paying attention.)

AND THEY JUST SHOWED THE 09 SEASON FINALE ON FSN

SOMEHOW THIS FEELS FITTING NOW

And the hug fest is happening now

IF THIS IS 6YEARS THAN THIS IS NFC CHAMPIONSHIP DAY

IT'S BETTER ANYWAY ASSHAT.

FELIX FUCKING HERNANDEZ.

TWO WAY PLAYER

I Lick Squirrels - January 18, 2010 reply

BABE RUTH REINCARNATED

THE BACKUP DH!

Backup?

Crystal for DH - January 18, 2010 reply

FELIX HERNANDEZ HIT A GRAND SLAM OFF JOHAN FUCKING SANTANA!!!

I will rec this gif every time I see it

Everyone who was on base is now gone

Except for Felix.

I wonder if his contract extension will factor in his hitting ability

Did anyone consider that in his projections?

mwalter - January 18, 2010 reply

FIST FIST FIST FIST FIST

SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE

PANTY PUDDING

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

I WOULD RIDE HIS COCK BUT IT WOULD HURT AND BE AKWARD FOR HIM!

I'LL DO IT

THERE YOU GO!

.

By far the 2 best Venezuelans to ever live

FELIX IS THE BEST PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET IT

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

IT JUST CONTINUES!

bradjhill - January 18, 2010 reply

DON'T STOP BELIEVIN. CLIFF LEE HERE WE COME

HE MUST HAVE LIKED GRAHAM'S POST ABOUT THE FASTBALL

TO THE FUCKING MOON!

THE MOTHER FUCKING MOON! ALL THE WAY TO THE FUCKING MOON BITCHES!!!! ME FELIX THE LLAMAPILLAR GOING TO THE MOON!

MARS BITCHES

HAVE A REC

FELIX IS OURS AND YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM

krb - January 18, 2010 reply

FELIX IS OURS AND YOU CAN HAVE BUCHHOLZ

GAY BUTTHOLES?

ROCKED

MORE LIKE BUTTHOLZ AMIRITE?

CAN FWE HAVE BOTH?

THOUGH WE'LL GLADLY TAKE HIM TOO JUST FOR FUNSIES.

I WAS GOING TO SAVE THIS BUT DO YOU WANT TO DOCK PENISES RIGHT NOW?

Boo. Bedtime.

I expect 1000 comments by tomorrow morning, don’t let me down.

we're never gonna give you up

so we won’t let you down

I'M NEVER GOING TO RUN AROUND AND HURT YOU?

NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY

I love LL.

I'm sorry but I have to say goodbye.

Slurvey - January 18, 2010 reply

How about by 10:30?

HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SLEEP

I know, I'm lame.

At least I can sleep peacefully tonight and dream of King Felix. And the floodgates just opened up.

Righteous!

1000 COMMENTS IN AN HOUR

That will be accomplished within the hour, surely

TRY 10,000 BY THE MORNING!

SBN WOULD DIE!

VUR LETS FUCK THIS FUCKER UP!

BURN IT TO THE GROUND!!!! 1

BBBBBBUUUUURRRRRNNNNN!

I thought you were doing shots.

Which is why I am going to bed.

ROBERT IT WILL HAPPEN IN 10!

THIS IS OUR FUCKING YEAR!

OURS!

WORLD SERIES 2010 2011 2012

WORLD SERISESES FOR EVER!

yayz

MATTHEW MY OFFER IS AVAILABLE TO YOU TOO

That being?

THE DOCKING

DOCKOING COKSR!

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2010/1/18/1258667/felix-mariners-agree-on-extension#29111623

FADE INTO A MONTAGE

MONTAGEEEE

I BROKE MY DESK WHILE TRYING TO WRITGHT WITH MY PENIS

Too short so you had to lean way in and the desk collapsed?

FUCK OFF I WAS COVERED IN SODA ITS HARD TO PENITYPE LIKE THAT

SAOD!

ITS ALL OVER OUR KITCHEN!

YOU CANT PROVE THIS

NOWS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS

.

WHAT GOOD IS A DESK WHEN IT CAN'T HANDLE A PENCIL?

Jeff's tweet from yesterday is now beautifully ironic

WHY HAVE COMMENTS CEASED TO AUTO-UPDATE FOR ME?

BECAUSE TIME HAS STOPPED

THE KING HAS MADE TIME STAND STILL

Davey86 - January 18, 2010 reply

!

FEFEEEELIX1

TOO FAST TOO FURIOUS

I'M TOO FAST FOR YA'll, MAYNNNNN

Not drinking enough.

So how many wins does this add?

Millions

Billions

20 per year

And now with Cliff Lee, that's a guaranteed 40 wins alone.

JUST REMEMBER: ALL CAPS WHEN YOU SPELL THE MAN NAME

This is the worst thing I've ever done.

You'll always be perfect to me, Teej

AND YET IT IS STILL GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

This one might just break the internets

WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

I'M GOING TO DRINK SO MUCH BEER!

SO MUCH!

My computer can't handle this page. :(

BUT HAPPINESS

MARINERS BASEBALL IS PURE BLISS NOW.

I WANNA FU K JACK Z.

You might

have to get in line.

Ladies first!

Just

to be polite.

Jack will be doing the fucking.

russak - January 18, 2010 reply

Cool.

So, multi-year deal pending physical. Needing a physical is a good sign that it’s a large deal, right? Or does it not matter?

Good sign.

That seems a little hilarious taking a physical for a team you've been with since you were 16.

You sort of want to know if something is wrong with the guy whose house you are about to back a Brinks truck up to.

No I get it-it still strikes me as funny. :)

Sweet!

GAH nothing but the same quote on every source.

Years, money, now!

We'll know the details by over/under midnight?

Wont

Is that over?

What?

AFGFFTEER MIDNIGHT!

Gotta be after

Bearskin Rugburn - January 18, 2010 reply

I would think we won't know anything for a day or two

Why doesn't anyone undersatnd over/under

rec'd for seriously why does no one understand it

Yes.

Persimmon

Woodinville_12thMan - January 18, 2010 reply

SCORE SCORE SCORE

WORLD SERIES HERE WE COME

THERE IS NO CEILING

we need to get a felix hernandez orgy going

Have you read this thread?

Woodinville_12thMan - January 18, 2010 reply

And

capitalization as well!

I am waiting for Bleacher Report to weigh in

Felix Hernandez Likely To Be Traded, By Johnny Walker.

A guy I now works sells nachos at Royals games and told me that Felix Hernendsez is Going to be traded.

This makes lots of sense.

That would headline Bleacher Report.

What's Captain Morgan have to say about it?

Bearskin Rugburn - January 18, 2010 reply

Ha

~~Jarrod Washborn~~ Felix Hernandez is being signed

FELIX SIGNS FOR 19 YEARS AND $1 BILLION

Felix marks baseball’s first billionaire contract, far surpassing the $272 Million He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named got from the [explicit content]

I keep refreshing for a Pedro tweet.

Come on buddy! Tell me what to think!

This made me laugh and sad at the same time:

If Zduriencik deals Lopez for Liriano, look for Jack to be on the hot seat next year. You can’t bunt your way to the World Series.

"It's money wasted without a power hitter"

There, just did his thing for him

After trying, Felix cannot be reached right now

Can’t imagine why.

If he's in town for the physical, I know a place...

BGCC?

I haven't learned to do a rectal yet but boy I'll give it a shot.

I know how.

We're you the one who was trying?

I JUST SHIT MY PANTS FULL OF BLOOD, I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK. AHHHHHHHHH...

What the fuck is this

I’M RAELLY OCNFUSED BUT I’M GONNA REC IT BECAUSE IT’S AMAZING

I want mini ronald mcdonald spazzing out!

Ahhhh. A classic. Hello, boys!

Now I have the find The Knight.

I have been waiting for The Knight.

I will cry

LICK THAT FELIX!

Boom.

X

This gif needs to show up more.

Crystal for DH - January 18, 2010 reply

I think you've succeeded in deadening my senses. I actually enjoy this now.

You figured out my plan with the ladies.

That's one hell of a plan, sugar

Although it still makes me think of dog weiner, which I don't enjoy

Oh man why would you put this in my head

Cause pink and wiggly?

Red rocket!

Lipstick

HE KEEPS LICKING IT!

LICK IT! YEAAAAHHHH!

The zig zag really makes it.

Oh my

brinkislikevickheabusesdawgs - January 18, 2010 reply

Please tell me you have no idea what this is...

… because from here this is fucking hilarious. “To me”…“to you”

MarkE - January 19, 2010 reply

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE CHUCKLE BROTHERS DOING HERE?

Oh, and

OHMYGODFELIXFELIXFELIXFELIXFELIX

Eyeball Kid - January 19, 2010 reply

So happy to see that this team really is serious

About winning.

skywaker9 - January 18, 2010 reply

Can I get a HELL YES!!!!!!

Nope.

JUST KIDDING

HELL YES

Hater

skywaker9 - January 18, 2010 reply

HELL YES!!!!!!

HELL YES!!!!!!

I would have replied sooner, but

This computer was made before 1984, so it did not expect to have to handle this level of complete shitshow.

It's older than FELIX WHO IS AWESOME

Yeah that was pretty much the gist of that comment

MY MARINERS INSIDER SAYS HELL YES

brinkislikevickheabusesdawgs - January 18, 2010 reply

I love this! I could get really get used to us being good on a consistant basis!

It'll be strange

But I think we can handle it.

skywaker9 - January 18, 2010 reply

IT'S LIKE SPRINGTIME IN ALBERTA

When this becomes official

can we get some Sunshine and Lollipops?

faceplant_04 - January 18, 2010 reply

Well of course

It's raining in Anaheim, that's good enough for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJDLRCXR2ZM

From Robert with Love

I was just going to link the comment.

BUT THIS IS BETTER

The best way to do this is to click them all at once and enjoy the cacophony.

Robert Lintott - January 19, 2010 reply

ROBERT I'VE FAILED YOU!

NOOOOIOOOOOOO

I'll find a replacement!

Holy balls and strikes. I had given up hope!

JamMasterJesus - January 18, 2010 reply

There are no words that can accurately express my feelings on this matter

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WEEEEE!

DAMN!

EVEN TINYPIC LOVES FELIX

http://www.gifbin.com/bin/092009/1254334927_celebration-dance.gif

GO HERE!

No dice

andrewgolfsalot - January 18, 2010 reply

No better.

THAT DOESN'T WORK EITHER

IT'S THE SAME SHIT

Still broken

FUCK SHIT ASS!

You're the worst

WHY DOES IT WORK! FOR ME!

Cause you're adorable?

You've browsed to it.

It doesn’t allow hotlinking.

Thank god.

JamMasterJesus - January 18, 2010 reply

Here's what Scruffy was trying to post.

I've made it better!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrObV84tD8g

too much pants

greymstreet - January 18, 2010 reply

OFFICIAL DANCE TIME

it's not unusual

to love Felix so much it hurts somtimes

supershane - January 18, 2010 reply

I WISH I WAS DRUNK

YIPPEE KAY YAY

FELIX ROX MY SOX!!!!!! (and the white ones…and the red ones)

BigWillyStyle - January 18, 2010 reply

Awesome.

Offseason complete.

Wilder. - January 18, 2010 reply

RIGHT HANDED LEFT FIELDER

FELIX

NO HE'S OUR DH

GOOD LEFT HANDED ONE INSTEAD

DOES ANYBODY KNOW HOW MANY MINUTES THE BELTRAN SLIDE CAME AFTER THE GRAND SLAM???

I NEED TO KNOW IF ITS OK TO START CELEBRATING

BELTRAN HAD HIS KNEE SCOPED. THE ONLY THING HE'LL BE SLIDING INTO IS A COMA.

it came in the top of the 5th, so probably about half an hour

It's okay, sweetheart. Let er rip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxqcmfYb0OI#t=0m5s

Hell Yes!

andrewgolfsalot - January 18, 2010 reply

OH YAH BITCHES

why

The Hell?

Horrifying beyond all comprehension

Nice twist at the end.

I feel like this needed to be posted, just for the rookie hazing

ahahahaldhfal

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

I DONT THINK HE WILL MIND THIS

I DISAGREE WITH THIS COMPLETELY BUT HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO RECOMMEND IT

IF SO SORRY BRETT THIS IS OUR MOMENT OF TRIUMPH AND IF YOU AREN'T JACKING IT YOU ARENT TRUE BLUE

Considering there are like 10 people at his house right now cooking barbecue

I can guarantee you his in jacking it, probably in group.

holy fuck

A pox on you

THE RETURN!

krb - January 18, 2010 reply

CURRENTLY USSM HAS 13 COMMENTS

TIME FOR A CORCO-INVASION

OH WAIT I'M BANNED

IT'S WELL PAST THEIR BED TIME

IT'S WELL PAST THEIR BED TIME

THEY ALL HAVE THOUGHT BEHIND THEM AND ARE SPELLCHECKED

People still comment on USSM?

andrewgolfsalot - January 18, 2010 reply

I was going to mention this earlier when they had 11. Love LL.

THEY'RE ALL SLEEPING

EVERYONE ASSUMED IT CRASHED AGAIN

Actually I did

I'M SO GIDDY

LATE TO THE SHOW

SUNSHINE LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS IS BLASTING

edddgar - January 18, 2010 reply

woo

this is a subdued woo

THERE IS SOMETHING FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU

HE DOESN'T REALIZE THAT THIS IS BASICLY OUR VERSION OF DECEMBER 7TH

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RESPOND TO THIS

LIKE THIS:

Main Entry: in·fa·my

1 : evil reputation brought about by something grossly criminal, shocking, or brutal

I GET THAT I'M JUST NOT SURE IF I'M INCREDIBLY OFFENDED OR AMAZINGLY HUMORED

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ROBERT HATES FELIX SO MUCH

HE SEEMED LIKE SUCH NICE ALBEIT ATHLETICALLY CHALLENGED MAN

HE DOESN'T

MW2?

NOW??

WHY NOT?

RIDE THE HIGH!

THE HYPNOTOAD COMMANDS GREATER ENTHUSIASM FOR FELIX

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FELIXGASM WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOSE LOPEZ MUST BE SO HAPPY

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Someone needs to go over to HalosHeaven and say 'Suck it, Red!'

anyone? anyone get it?

No.

No.
No.

No.

No, we don't do that.

REV YOU TARD KART

Except there's a rule here about behaving on other sbn blogs.

I wasn't actually going to do it(i don't have access anyway)

I was just wondering if anyone would get the reference.

Yes, I get Red vs Blue

But it’s not something to joke about. Some new person around here would do it.

All right

I’ll be more mindful next time.

No.

Absolutely not.

Please do not

Thank you!

No worries Jeff

Wasn’t planning to. Just wondering if someone would get the Roosterteeth reference.

You're such a goody goody

Oh shoot!

Sorry guys (sheepish grin)

Just kidding, I would never do that.

FOR $10,000 PAID UP FRONT

HELL, FOR $10 PAID UP FRONT

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1/18/2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the best day!

ARock - January 18, 2010 reply

THE DAY THAT WILL LIVE DOWN IN INFAMY

VICTORY

BETTER!

THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN!

Crystal for DH - January 18, 2010 reply

ROBERT ROBERT ROBERT ROBERT ROBERT ROBERT

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES

Robert, your so scandalous

YES YES YES EYS YES FUCK YES

I WILL NEVER GET ENOUGH OF THIS

SMACK THAT ALL ON THE FLO

GIVE ME MORE

YES YES YES

ROBERT'S A GIRL

DAMN RIGHT I SMACKING PORTLAND ASS

I'm going to need to add more faces.

KEEP ME OUT OF IT

MAYBE JEFF IN THE PORTLAND JERSEY BECAUSE ITS NOW FITTING!

GIVING HIS SQUINTY FACE!

AH HELL SNEAK ME IN THERE SOMEWHERE

Felix giving and Carlson receiving.

My good golly

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

woo

James66 - January 18, 2010 reply

Perhaps we should all take a pause from this excitement to think about the struggles of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr...?

Buzzkill

PERHAPS MARTIN LUTHER KING JR SHOULD THINK ABOUT FELIX HERNANDEZ' STRUGGLES TONIGHT

I don't think he's struggling right now.

Dr King would be excited to see a minority getting such a nice paycheck and contract extension

Nothing more needs to be said

NUTS TO HIM HE'S DEAD

FELIX IS BROWN-ISH, IT COUNTS. TRUST ME.

I Lick Squirrels - January 18, 2010 reply

YAY FOR THE KING AND JUNIOR!!!

IM JUST FUCKING KIDDING

PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

PARTY ON THE INTERWEBS!!!!!!!!!!

Only if he signed an ace Mariner pitcher to a long term multiyear deal.

I think we just achieved his dream

DAMNIT

I CREAMED MYSELF BEFORE THIS NEWS.

So what did you do after this news then

A nice sandwich maybe?

The better question is "Who did you do after this news then"

AFTER?!

I JUST READ IT

THANK GOD FOR TWO HANDS

Ok im donew now.

Im drunk and as far as I know I may be in the AGutz threads and just seeing thingas.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorya ifs freaked anyone out.

Often times I immediately check lookout landing after jacking it to see if I started too soon.

YES

I knew I wasn’t the only one who used LL for soft-core porn.

Hahahha

I didnt even read the article and I already needed a towel. The headline did enough.

Disturbing

but I like it!

I'm hearing from the Bleacher Report that the deal is for $185/5 and we signed Washburn for $23/2.

lailaihei - January 18, 2010 reply

I'M FINE WITH $185/5

$23/2….WE DON’T HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY AFTER GIVING FELIX THAT MUCH

SHINY ERA

HELL YEAH WE CAN

This is beautiful.

Jeff isn't quitting the band!

TIME TO BLAST SOME JOHN DENVER IN CELEBRATION

WOOO

Terminator X - January 18, 2010 reply

I CAN'T STOP SHAKING

That is a hell of an orgasm.

STILL IN THE PRE-ORGASM STAGE

BUT IT’S COMING

I had facebook open for 1/10 of a second, saw your post in all caps

All that registered was FELIX in the middle and I just fucking knew what was up

HE'S HAVING THE DREADED "CAN'T SHAKY COME!"

I'M TOO EXCITED TO EVEN GET IT UP RIGHT NOW

I GIVE UP

USE PROPS!

MATTHEWS SHAKING FELIX IS HELPING NEGATE MY SHAKING AS I'M SHAKING AT ROUGHLY THE SAME RATE

REMEMBER IT'S A BACK AND FORTH MOTION!

SIDE TO SIDE DOESN’T ACTUALLY DO MUCH OF ANYTHING BEYOND WAKING IT UP A LITTLE BIT! AND MAKE SURE YOU WASH YOUR HANDS AS WELL! IT’S ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA TO WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF. SAFETY FIRST, THAT’S WHAT I ALWAYS SAY. YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL. REMEMBER – WHEN YOU’RE TENDER YOU’LL BE IN SPLENDOR, BUT WHEN YOU’RE ROUGH IT MIGHT GET TOUGH! ALSO, DON’T FORGET TO WASH YOUR HANDS AFTERWARD AS WELL! OTHER PEOPLE MAY BE TOUCHING YOUR DOORKNOB, AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO GET YOUR STUFF ON THEM! IT’S NOT FAIR TO THEM JUST AS THEIR STUFF WOULD NOT BE FAIR TO YOU!

I THINK STUFF IS SANITARY UNLESS I HAVE AIDS BUT I WOULD HAVE HAD TO HAVE SEX TO GET AIDS

NOT NECESSARILY!

PLUS WITH ALL YOUR BLACKOUTS, YOU PROBABLY WOULDN’T REMEMBER ANYWAY! KEEP IT SAFE BUDDY!

GRIFFEY!

F

WAIT THAT'S ONLY PART OF AN F

BUT I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

you forgot the rest of the F

OH MY GOD HOW CAN WE EVER FORGIVE HIM

You fucked up the F.

<3

Whoops

Gamma?

You know what?

Seriously. Fuck all of you.

Every

Single

One

I greatly appreciated your efforts :(

<3

KISSES!

Why did you complete 'of you'?

Would have fucked up the ‘f’ again?

Hey.

I should just talk shit like Eyebrows next time, and follow it up with a hugs

It's the internet version of my lil bastard face.

You can get away with so much!

LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY HAS A CASE OF THE JI'S

JIM THOME

Just delete them and start over

Felix tetris?

E

L

I

X

nice

ARock - January 18, 2010 reply

So close to awesomeness

I was excited for the X. I was hoping it'd be good. It's good.

Holy shit. I mean wow, that's just amazing.

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2010/1/18/1258734/felix

FELIX FELIX FELIX

The X is broken

Ignore me

I don't know what I'm talking about

FALSE

IT IS YOU THAT IS BROKEN

TOO LATE!

Still fucked up that F.

You're so sweet.

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY HAPPINESS.

xero3k - January 18, 2010 reply

HOLLLLLLLLY Z!!!! He is a GOD send to the city of Seattle!!! Thank You Thank you And if you were here i would soooooo kiss your UHHHHHH hand like a king!!!! Thank you King Felix And thank you “the surgeon” Dr. Z!!! Now bring us home to a ring with a big bat… PLEASE

Articwolf - January 18, 2010 reply

BY HAND YOU MEAN GMZ'S DICK RIGHT

When the night has come, and the land is dark...

Stand by me Felix.

I want to have Jack Z's babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He signed FELIX HERNANDEZ TO A MULTI-YEAR DEAL!

BE MY BABY'S DADDY!

Hahaha

Oh man, your combo breaker made me laugh really, really hard.

Thanks.

Too bad it broke the combo.

It was worth it for sure.

There is almost 700 comments so far. I just want to respond before reading any of them.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALREADY BEEN COVERED

READ THE COMMENTS BEFORE POSTING GOD

Something tells me we're not getting any details tonight

I WILL NOT STOP DRINKING UNTIL WE GET DETAILS

That seems like a good plan

Shoot the messenger!

and we'll all be too hungover to read them in the morning

Geoff Baker (boo!) is reporting that he can't get anyone to respond to him.

From either the Mariners or Felix’s camp.

THAT'S A GOOD SIGN

IT MEANS THEY’RE DOING SOMETHING

Yeah, Baker mentioned that when the Mariners are quite that usually is a good sign.

*quiet

Whats Felixs number?

59

I think he was asking for his phone number

Not his uniform number.

Other than that it isnt

HOW

∞

1800IMAKING

34

Maybe Felix signed the contract

and, as part of the contract’s provisions, was tucked in to bed by Jack Z.

chemistry!

Terminator X - January 18, 2010 reply

Z once again refusing to show his hand.

That's because he's already holding my dick.

In your dreams.

That's the only explanation I have for the puddle that has formed beneath my underwear.

If you can get us details I will suck your d

Not from the most secretive FO in the biz

I expect my General Manager to answer phone calls at 11pm.

Funny, that's what I call my penis too!

Brilliant!

Well this keeps my Felix jersey I spent $230 on relevant.

better than my $300 jeff clement jersey

Yeah I know, right Graham?

Doesn't he have a Cedeño jersey too?

You should hope he doesn't get attached to anyone good.

That doesn't seem to be the trend so far so I think we're safe.

Cedeno

Same for my $25 dollar Felix jersey-style t-shirt

FUCKING YES

Gihyou - January 18, 2010 reply

Wow

I’m speechless…. but i’m pretty sure the 702.. edit 703 posters… edit 704 posters before me have nailed it on the head, so i’m just gonna leave it at YES!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve got to say though i expected more than 1,000 posts after an hour. You people dissapoint me…. wags finger

C-Nage - January 18, 2010 reply

Someone pinch me I must be dreaming!

Manzanillos Cup - January 18, 2010 reply

If Jack Z, Felix, and I are ever in the same room

This will be Morrow's Mariner legacy.

Brandon League striking out the side to close out game 3 of a sweep in NY, first round of the playoffs

BOOM I like to dream big

I love remembering .gifs I forgot I ever made

I know the feeling

I love remembering .gifs I forgot I ever made that don't suck a lot

I don't know that feeling

It's the guy in the background that kills me

And the police officer, like he's been practicing that Just For Men head turn all his life

And it’s his moment to shine.

I really did make the perfect .gif

You made more than one.

~

This one chokes me up every time

It makes me giggle.

Such mixed feelings

I love the beginning but then seeing the Red Sox celebrating ruins it a bit

I am so good

Disagree.

A truly perfect gif would have a seamless loop.

You're right

I'M POOPY

ON TV

Ahhh yeah

For me it's the police officer who appears to be Stacy Keach

OlSalty - January 19, 2010 reply

Oh god remember Felix 9 pitch 3 strike out inning? I loved that one

OH MY GOD YES

YEAH STROKE IT BABY ALMOST THERE

STILL TOO EXCITED TO GET UP YET

IF FELIX WERE SLIGHTLY LESS GOOD I’D BE DONE

Remember when felix signed a fucking multi-year contract with us

What game was that again?

I think I might’ve been there.

June 17th, Marlins.

Link!

Nevermind.

I chose to see Dickey suck dick instead.

I was there. It was amazing.

mark sobba - January 18, 2010 reply

Dear God/Ganesha/Santa/Easter Bunny/Yahweh/Allah....

Please say that Felix has signed for more 6 more seasons!!!

mcwalter44 - January 18, 2010 reply

FELIX JERSEY PURCHASED

I guess better late than never.

JULY 2009 FELIX JERSEY PURCHASE VALIDATED

GOD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED A LINK IN MY SIGNATURE AND HAD TO RELOAD THE PAGE

WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME HOW ANNOYING THAT WAS?

Yeah that happened to me a few times

Yeah, my apologies

We did like dozens of times

I guess I missed that

We did several times

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2010/1/18/1258667/felix-mariners-agree-on-extension#29114014

My bad

Sudden self-awareness can't be beat for comedy.

ahahahahahahahahaha

Aaron Campeau - January 18, 2010 reply

I give this deal a thumbs up.

NICE!

IS THAT A DIET DR PEPPER?

Yes, considering I was only 19 when the picture was taken, I didn't have a beer to drink :(.

Diet Dr. Pepper is the best

It really is.

In my opinion, its second to Coke Zero.

Coke Zero is the woooorst.

It tastes just like Diet Coke

TAB is the best

All diet soda tastes like shit

But I guess if you don’t mind drinking shit, diet dr. pepper is one of the least disgusting.

Strangely

I don’t even like the taste of normal soda anymore.

Same here. Too much sugar.

It applies(changes in CAPS)

This is, quite frankly, a heist. The Mariners are getting a Cy Young caliber pitcher for some MONEYZ. They GAVE UP Morrow. They aren’t giving up Saunders. They aren’t even giving up Triunfel. And yet, they walk away with one of the five or six best pitchers in baseball.

Forget that we probably only have FELIX forEVER. We’re paying about DUNNO BUT ITS WORTH IT.

Seriously, dance in the streets. Build a bust of Zduriencik and place it on your mantle. Name your first born son Jack and your daughter Jackie. When this becomes official, hug someone. This SIGNING is that good.

I'm not sure you really have to explain how good this signing is....

800+ comments speaks for itself.

C-Nage - January 18, 2010 reply

I'm like 800 comments late to the party.

WOOO FELIX

JY - January 18, 2010 reply

Probably getting MLB.tv this year!

JY - January 18, 2010 reply

Anyone want to bet how many posts we'll have before the night is over?

C-Nage - January 18, 2010 reply

957

SethGrandpa - January 18, 2010 reply

By 3 AM I'll be bored enough to test the Corco Phenomenon again

so

So I should just ban you now?

Odds are remarkably high I'll fall asleep within 30 minutes

We're pretty close to needing a spillover thread for reactions.

But it’s 2 am where I am and I’m tapped.

JY - January 18, 2010 reply

Tapped out

How many times before you collapsed?

sanford_and_son - January 18, 2010 reply

So fucking happy right now!!!! AHH!!!!

This thread is skullfucking Chrome

but I’ll add my tiny “wooo” to the sea of woos. Fuck yeah.

Back to work.

John Morgan - January 18, 2010 reply

Chrome hates GIFs

I have noticed that. It's annoying.

Opera is chugging a bit.

But still running ok.