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Managerial Candidate Summary

As I'm sure most of you have seen by now, Shannon Drayer came out with a post this afternoon naming four managerial candidates the Mariners are set to interview. Now that I have a moment, I figured I'd run down the four names real quick to offer a brief summary of my thoughts on each.

Note that these aren't necessarily the four finalists, but they're the four names we have to go on for the time being, and with the M's apparently wanting to hire a guy in short order, I wouldn't be surprised if these were the only four guys flying to town. You might see a small handful of other names, at the most. A Josh Wilson handful.

John Gibbons

We already talked about John Gibbons here last week. Suffice to say, the way I think about John Gibbons is the way a lot of people think about John Gibbons. Gibbons is the go-to example of a managerial hardass. He's Leopold, from The Simpsons. Practically Gibbons' entire reputation among fans is tied to his confrontations with various players, and for that reason he's seen as entertaining. Hire John Gibbons and your season won't be dull. No sir.

Bobby Valentine

Bobby Valentine is every fan's automatic preference for a managerial vacancy. When you talk about fans forming very strong opinions regarding things they don't understand very well, Valentine's the perfect example. People love him. Why? Who knows. He's managed 2189 games in North America. He won 1117 of them. He went to the playoffs twice. Bobby Valentine might be a fine manager, or he might be a lousy manager, but we don't know, and he hasn't managed for eight years. I don't know how he grew to be so popular.

Eric Wedge

Milton Bradley once reportedly wore a t-shirt in the Cleveland clubhouse that said "fuck Eric Wedge". Wedge has or is scheduled to interview for pretty much every available managerial position in the league, and I'm pretty sure he just sees these things as getting a free trip.

Cecil Cooper

It's a testament to the power of The Simpsons that I would mention the show twice in four paragraphs on a baseball blog. It's also a testament to the show's power that I hear the name "Cecil" and think that this guy must be an eloquent Englishman. Cooper, of course, is not. He's this:

Considered a gentle soul by the players when he was promoted to interim manager on Aug. 27, 2007, after Phil Garner was fired, Cooper had players – stars and role players - complaining publicly and privately about his lack of communication skills by June of his first full season.

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What are these guys like? How would they fit? At this point I'm just repeating myself, but it's absolutely critical to understand that we don't know. There's a reason I'm not conducting thorough background checks on these names. It's next to impossible for those of us on the outside to predict how well a manager will fit in with a roster - especially a roster that hasn't been built yet. This is a call I'm happy to leave entirely in the hands of the front office. Not because I trust that they'll be able to make a great prediction - this is the front office that hired Don Wakamatsu, after all - but because I trust that they'll be able to make a better prediction.

Maybe Cecil Cooper is our guy. How should I know? How should any of us know?

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Comments

I hope Bobby Valentine wins

Because candy heart photoshops would be an easy and affective way to express our frustrations.

I love Bobby Valentine because

he snuck back into the dugout after getting tossed…in disguise! In a world of mind-numbingly boring Managers, I’d imagine most of the love is because he’s a Goof.

And that is what we need... a goof.

With Griffey and Sweeney both gone, who is going to be the goofball in the M’s clubhouse? Might as well make it the manager!

When the team isn’t goofing around, they aren’t happy, and their chemistry will go right down the drain. And then they’ll be terrible, because CLUBHOUSE CHEMISTRY!

We still got Paperboy!
Here's what I know

1. Manager hired
2. Magic happens, or not

Mike Sweeney is going to be the mariners next manager
Haven't we all basically come to the agreement that managers don't matter all that much in the grand scheme of things?

I’ll take whoever doesn’t plug the equivalent of Jose Lopez in the four spot.

Buck Showalter
I want one that does crazy shit like kicking Jose Lopez in the balls after a strikeout or letting Ichiro play shortstop during a blowout
Hell yes.

Pinch-hit Felix and shit like that. Ichiro wants to pitch? Fuck it, go pitch an inning.

Bobby might not have managed in the Bigs for 8 years..

But he single-handedly transformed a Japanese loser team into national champions.. Twice!

(Actually, champions only once (2005). But he helped them climb out of the cellar twice.)

Yes, for six of those eight years Valentine was managing quite successfully in Japan.
Lloyd McClendon added to the mix!

You can’t spell Lloyd McClendon without LL!

I’M SO EXCITED
AND I JUST CAN’T HIDE IT

I'm throwing my support behind Pete Carroll
We'd have to make so many pitching changes because

he’d run out of the dugout after every exciting defensive play

How would you find time to talk about all the roster moves?
Fuck it, let Pete Carroll coach the Sounders also, and any NBA/NHL team we may happen to get in the future.

Might be problematic when one team is playing away and one is at home, but thats what televisions and phones are for right?

Shit if Milton Bradley wants to fuck him then I throw my support behind Eric Wedge!
I think his t-shirt was more along the lines of, "I suggest Eric Wedge be fucked"
It is hard to tell with switch hitters.
Based on those descriptions, it sounds like whoever is picking the candidates want Bobby Valentine to win.

Eric Wedge was openly hated by one of his players.
Cecil Cooper made his players complain about him almost immediately.
John Gibbons engages in fisticuffs with his players.

Bobby Valentine a well-respected manager with a good track record.

How do you not pick Valentine out of that list? If he’s not the guy you want, we is he even on the list? The other three guys have cornered the asshole market.

What do we have on Lloyd McClendon?
Cecil is my last name.

So obviously I’m an eloquent Englishman and I say Cecil Cooper deserves the job. Gibbons would be my next choice, Valentine third and Wedge last because like what Milton Bradley once said,“Fuck Eric Wedge.”

and I base this on absolutely nothing.

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