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Eric Wedge It Is

There's no official confirmation on this just yet, since it's playoff time and Bud Selig doesn't like to see non-playoff teams in the news while playoff teams are playing, but by reports all over Twitter and elsewhere, the Mariners have decided to hire Eric Wedge to take over in the dugout. Wedge wins out over Bobby Valentine and the other four guys you won't be able to remember three years from now.

It's fitting that Wedge is the guy. Since the Zduriencik front office took over in Seattle, Indians fans have been telling us how many parallels there are between the two organizations. In a lot of ways, the Indians were the new Mariners before the new Mariners. They had a sharp front office that blended excellent scouting with advanced statistical analysis. They were said to be among the best-run organizations in baseball, a team in good hands that should be able to compete year after year for quite some time. And then they enjoyed only moderate success while cracks began to form and the team greatly underachieved. All along, everybody figured the Indians had the right process, but they struggled to get the results.

The Indians from earlier in the decade were a lot like the Mariners from later in the decade. And now the Mariners have hired the Indians' old manager.

As we've been writing throughout this entire interview and hiring process, we can't say whether this is a good move or not, and no amount of research will reveal the answer. Wedge, obviously, has some very good qualities. He also has some bad ones, and things certainly didn't end up very good for him in Cleveland. The trouble is that a manager's primary responsibilities concern things like morale and accountability and communication. These all fall under the broader term of "chemistry," and as the entire 2010 season just proved to us, you can't predict how chemistry is going to work out.

It's quite different from actual laboratory chemistry when you think about it. In the lab, you can mix a bunch of known compounds and end up with a known product (and several side products in appropriate molar ratios). In the clubhouse, you can mix a bunch of known compounds, but you have no idea ahead of time how it's going to work. The Mariners, I assume, have a pretty good understanding of who Eric Wedge is. They also have a pretty good understanding of who their players are. But you just don't know how they'll come together. One wrong statement can spoil a relationship. We saw this with Wakamatsu and the whole Griffey ordeal. Through the simple action of benching Griffey without properly communicating the message, Wak lost the entire team. Those things can happen, and you can't see them coming.

From here, Wedge seems to be a fine choice. He's managed teams like this - teams that are at least pseudo-rebuilding, with a blend of experienced veterans and wide-eyed little kids. A number of former players seemed to like him, and those that didn't like him at least respected him. Wedge has been a good communicator. Wedge has been a leader without being an overmanager. Wedge has been respectful and protective of his players, and his players have been respectful and protective of him back. Wedge's track record is encouraging. It's just - again, it comes down to what we can't predict. Every Mariners player in 2009 would've said good things about Wak. It's funny how moods change when things go sour.

A lot will be made of the fact that former Indian Milton Bradley once walked around the clubhouse wearing a shirt that said "fuck Eric Wedge". It's definitely weird, and a funny if unsettling story. But Milton Bradley last played for Eric Wedge in March 2004. It's been six and a half years. Bradley was a young player who hadn't yet turned 25. Wedge was about to begin only his second season managing. People change. Who were you six and a half years ago? Who were you when you were 24? Who were you when you were 30? People mellow out. They become more understanding. They become more forgiving, and less sensitive. It's possible that Milton Bradley may still hate Eric Wedge. But six and a half years ago, I hated grapefruit. Now I have one every morning.

Additionally, it ultimately doesn't really matter what Milton Bradley thinks anyway since Milton Bradley isn't a part of the future, while Wedge, ideally, is.

So this is the guy. The Mariners have been managed by the guy who argued to cancel the snow game, and the Mariners will now be managed by the guy who argued to keep playing. It's exciting to have a new hire. Even a new hire as seemingly bland as Wedge, at least when compared to Bobby Valentine. That excitement will die down after a while, and once the season's underway, most everyone's feelings for Wedge should settle somewhere around "mild dislike". He'll bat players where you don't want him to bat players. He might call for too many bunts or hit-and-runs or bad sinkerballers out of the bullpen. Eric Wedge is no sabermetric hero. He'll have his annoying managerial ticks, just like they always do.

But the true test of how good a manager he is - that won't be quite so visible. We'll only know if Wedge was the right guy when the season's nearly over. And even then, we won't know if he's the right guy for 2012. Everything changes. Everything is hard to predict.

Hopefully Eric Wedge pans out. Hopefully, he sticks.

0 recs  |  176 comments

Comments

Obviously

No one has read this yet:

http://www.letsgotribe.com/2010/10/14/1751918/eric-wedge-a-very-convincing-guy

Actually, I’m really surprised. I thought for sure Bobby Valentine was the lead for the job out there. With his ties to the Japanese league, your Japanese ownership and big star I figured he’d be perfect. Well, good luck with Wedge—at least you’re taking him off the market and making the Cubs’ decision making process a little easier while your at it.

Incorrect.

You had already read it.

Looks like those Cubs fan repellant candles are dying down again.

Better order a few more.

I have a spare one

Wedge sort of looks like the blobfish in that one.
Works for me.
Punnnssssss
Who's gonna be first to make the obvious "He's gonna drive a Wedge between the clubhouse!" pun?
Chone Figgins can't get a word in Wedgewise!
NOT A PUN
At the press conference.

“Excuse me, mind if I Wedge in here and ask the new manager a quick question?”

Does this qualify?

Still not a pun
Can we have quips?
How about a Wedgie instead
I'm apparently not exactly clear on the definition of "pun" then.

Of course English is my second language.

Who cares! Lets run this into the ground before we all get boxed!
A pun is a humorous play on words

Using a last name as an action word isn’t strictly a pun, I don’t think

Seems to me like it fits.

Otherwise you’d have to say “look at Eric over in the corner”.

Then the next person says: “Yeah, it’s almost like he’s wedged in there”.

Pun, right?

More like a double entendre
Bitch...

Then I seriously don’t know how to make a pun.

You might be right, actually
A pun is using words that sound like other words to make a joke.

So something like, “Immanuel doesn’t pun, he Kant”, has Immanuel Kant’s last name, “Kant” punned against the word “can’t”.

Or “You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.” Tune a and tuna are punned.

Or “Why do we still have troops in Germany? Answer: To keep the Russians in Czech” puns the word Czech and check.

"You must be from France, because you're a peein'."

Pun?

Yes.
Also, "Fister? I hardly know'er!"
Wait, isn't this the same as saying "Can I wedge in there and ask the new manager a question?"
Not quite.

Fister is substituting for “fist her.” But, by a simple textbook definition of puns, both qualify. I just don’t have the energy (or the interest, because really, who cares?) to mount a literary argument against the misunderstanding.

Both are wordplay. Leave it at that.

Matthew clarified everything a little higher up.

I’m done.

I just realized I don't remember what this joke is originally.
After some googling, it turns out the answer is "Poker"
Nope.

Pun is a broader category than you think it is.

I tried to take one from every category of pun on wikipedia!

There were thousands of them!

I don't know where the idea that puns can't be based on homophonic/homographic words came from...

but my soon-to-be completed degree in English literature would beg to differ. Puns can be double entendres if and only if they are intentionally so.

This is why I'm confused.

I’m not an English major, and I don’t recall ever studying puns, but I’ve always thought puns could be simply using the word or name as part of the joke. Although I admit I don’t know if that fits the textbook definition.

I don't give a shit what your degree says

but in the interest of semantics, let me offer this olive branch:, they can be technically puns.

What they are never, is funny.

I wasn't trying to argue.

With regards to the “funny” part, agreed.

Coming back to this,

I apologize if this came across as degrading of your point. I meant it in a jocular tone.

You don't think

double entendres are funny? You must hate nearly all British humor, then.

They aren't visually funny

This is a visual medium

You must be a blast at parties.
The Wedge of Darkness
NO MORE PUNS
OR PUN ATTEMPTS
I'M A GREASED UP DEAF GUY!!!

YOU NEVER GONNA CATCH ME!!!

Oh yes I can
I'm going to punt on this one
OKAY OKAY OKAY!!

Let go!! SORRY!!

Geez…

M's get a Wedgie?

ehhh? ehhhhhh?? Last year we got Wak-ed, next year we get a Wedgie, it pretty much describes being a Seattle sports fan.

And now I know more about puns than I ever wanted to.

EducationaLL

"But six and a half years ago, I hated grapefruit. Now I have one every morning."

OH GOD MILTON BRADLEY IS GOING TO EAT ERIC WEDGE FOR BREAKFAST

He's got chunks of managers like Wedge in his stool
Fuck him then eat him?

When did Milton turn into a preying mantis?

Well, that's the way I enjoy my grapefruit.
Grapefruit Wedges for everyone!
I enjoy my grapefruit while wearing a shirt that reads, "Fuck Grapefruit."
As previously pointed out

“Fuck Eric Wedge” is a suggestion/command, as opposed to “I fuck Eric Wedge”. Get it right! This shit is real now!

Shorry wha wazz dat?

Fruffing uff Ewic wight naw.

Hmmm?

Wow, haven't seen or thought about that one in a while.

Goon alert!

Milton needs to back away from the Wedge.
710 just had one of the Indians announcers on

he claims Shapiro fought the Wedge firing, and that it came from ownership, who wanted an excuse after the firesale.

Excuses, excuses

Shapiro ♥s Wedge.

(♥s sounds like hearts but IS NOT EXACTLY the same. PUN!)

When should I start up my righteous indignation...or rapturous glee?

I’m so confused as to how the internet wants me to react to this news.

The third option

Complete indifference!

Foiled again!
That's the approach I've taken so far and I will probably continue to do so
Indifference is difficult to recognize on the internet without the proper usage of 'meh'
And I suppose the very act of participating in this thread puts the lie to my claims of indifference anyway
Moderate indifference!
That's why I'm not participating

Indifference (and neutrality) make the world go circles

and yet here you are!
... No I'm not?
two coments in this thread would be pretty damning evidence of participation
Could that really be considered participation though?

If it is; yay, participation points

So is it indignation or glee, then?
It's more "well okay then"
How different is this from "meh" levels of indifference?
it's less internetty
The thought of Opening Day next year is already making me cringe.

Whatever manager they hire isn’t going to do anything to change that feeling

Whatever it is, it's important to have a strong opinion on this subject
I have a strong opinion that I am kinda indifferent.
You'd think in the age of twitter they'd at least be able to tell us that in <140 characters.

Take out the analysis, I just need to know how pissed I need to be.

Time to add "Fuck Eric Wedge" t shirts to the LL Store
Hey I would buy one

and I don’t know a thing about the guy. It’d just be a good conversation starter for other Mariner fans.

Easier to put on a shirt than:

“I will take Eric Wedge out for a nice seafood dinner, and not call him!”

I would rather have this on my t-shirt.
Physiognomy.

Russell Branyan + Mike Sweeney = Eric Wedge.

Angry huggy?
Who in that is angry?

I was going to ask if Wedge has a bad back actually…

I'm just looking at the faces.
Wedgie has back spasms.
But Wedge isn't fiery!
Heh.

I am amazed how many fans of how many teams want fiery.

That's because fiery is fun to watch, even if the manager is retarded

The 2010 Seattle Mariners were approximately the most boring team in baseball less Felix, so for me the number one way I will judge any move we make is “Does this make the team more fun to watch?” especially if we don’t know if the move helps us win games or not.

Along with "developing youngsters".
That may infact depend on ones escalatory scale of emotions to determine when exactly fiery has been met.

Then again it might also be derived from which Yuni he intends to wear opening day.

I did just notice that Wedge is actually talking over and past the hand, so there's that
Does this mean he doesn't take instruction well?
Poorly made joke photo time!!

How long till we start calling him Red 2?
After melting my brain with awful puns/not puns I'm going to rename him

Eric Fulcrum. Eric Doorstop. Anything but Wedge.

Eric Inclined Plane?
Is it just me or does Jack Z sort of look like Larry King there?
All you
Nah, nah.

The big head, the hunched shoulders. That’s just like Larry King.

Still only you.
You guys are a drag.
Bwahahaha.

Excellent.

Oh Eric poor Eric

better men than you have been broken by these Ms. Good luck, kid.

I read this as referring to someone named "Ms. Good Luck".
She's got a massage parlor gown on Canal Street.
My indifference is raging so hard right now.

I can’t even……oh, nevermind.

Call a doctor if your raging indifference lasts more than six hours.
I predict 5 more minutes before FUCK ERIC WEDGE is a dead meme.
GOD! I JUST WANT HIM GONE ALREADY
That's what I'm going to say when they hand me my tab at the bar tonight.

“Fuck Eric Wedge!” and see if anyone notices. They won’t.

FIRE ERIC WEDGE
Piece of shit hasn't done a single thing right as our manager
Douchebag hasn't even won a single game.
You'd think he'd have at least filled out a line up card by now.
After Ichiro what difference does it make?
Meh, what indifference does it make?
Terrible Choice

Might as well have brought back BoMel or Grover

Why?
Personally I think he's going to provide the exact leverage we need.
Because he's the same guy
How is he the same guy?

Three different personalities, three different managerial records.

I think

the first time Milton meets with Wedge he should wear the “Fuck Eric Wedge” shirt. If they have both grown up, it should be a great ice breaker. Hell, Bradley may get fired up if Wedge laughs and have the Bradley season we were hoping for last season.

I love the Red 2 reference.

Game situation next year:

Wedge: “Milton, you need to get a hit here, even if the guy is throwing 102!!”
Bradley: “the ball is so small coming in at that speed skip!!”
Wedge: “It’s no bigger than the Womp Rats you were knockin’ outta the park during Spring Training!!”

I’m sorry, this is lame, but I had to do it.

I know when I was 24 I was a lot more uptight.
.

Men who love Eric Wedge

By the way, the comments there might put the Times to shame.

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