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Lookout Landing

10/18: Open ALCS Game 3 Thread


Cliff Lee

#33 / Pitcher / Texas Rangers

6-3

190

L

L

Aug 30, 1978



Andy Pettitte

#46 / Pitcher / New York Yankees

6-5

225

L

L

Jun 15, 1972


Two spots below Cliff Lee in the little Ranger player pulldown menu I have is Justin Leone.

:(

0 recs  |  654 comments

Comments

Andy Pettitte has the best tunnel-vision in post-season history.

I guess we won’t be seeing any throws to first tonight then?

I can't believe I just cheered a Michael Young hit.

This series is truly testing. A combination of TBS and the Yankees crowd is making me want Texas to win despite what my brain tells me.

Dude, it's Cliff Lee day. It's OK.
I'm rooting for Texas to win 2 in a row and then drop the last 3 so the Yankees go to the Series

Hopefully, Cliff Lee will get the loss after throwing a no-hitter in which a Michael Young error allows the only run to score.

Sounds good to me.
Yankee Stadium donger only.
I really hope the BMO League isn't an accurate predictor.
In last years BMO

Texas, Seattle and SF became the three super powers of baseball. the AL East became a distant memory.

The similarities in the last BMO playoffs are pretty striking

Rangers, Phillies, Giants and Twins all featured with the Rangers beating the Phillies in the World Series.

Of course, the actual Rangers don’t have me running them so I’m not too concerned.

Damn straight SF did.
You forgot New York Yankees, who came back around 2025 or so.
And Mets, around 2035 or so
I think I might have stopped playing by then
Thats one more run than Lee needs to win, amirite?
I love you more than bacon, Cliff Lee.
Oh good, the hat conspiracy.
I want cliff Lee to make a middle finger out of Rosin for the next time he pitches in New York (even if he's wearing a Yankees uniform)
Game over man, game over.
Someone tell me who to root for!
.

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2010/10/18/1760147/10-18-open-alcs-game-3-thread?login=1287447881#49695230

WOO! GO TEXAS!

POP THOSE BIG APPLE BITCHES WITH THE SAME AGGRESSIVENESS AND INTENSITY THAT A-ROD USES TO POP PREPUBESCENT CHERRIES.

A-Rod is Jarrod Washburn?
This is the kind of enthusiasm that just can't be faked.
I'm supporting the Yankees in non-Cliff Lee starts.

I want to see them destroyed in the World Series and see the whole city turn into the end of a Lorca poem for a few days.

What's a Lorca? Is that that like a barca lounger?
Because Cliff Lee will make New York his footstool, bitches.
Turning the Evil Empire into an ottoman empire
Federico Garcia Lorca...

Here I’ll just type the damned thing up, and someone can subject line minimize it if it’s intrusive… Not my favorite translation, but it was the book in front of me…

The Dawn

The New York dawn has
four columns of mud
and a hurricane of black doves
that paddle in putrescent waters.

The New York dawn grieves
along the immense stairways,
seeking amidst the groins
spikenards of fine-drawn anguish.

The dawn comes and no one receives it in his mouth
for there no morn or hope is possible.
Occasionally, coins in furious swarms
perforate and devour abandoned children.

The first to come out understand in their bones
that there will be no paradise nor amours stripped of leaves:
they know they are going to the mud of figures and laws,
to artless games, to fruitless sweat.

The light is buried under chains and noises
in impudent challenge of rootless science.
Through the suburbs sleepless people stagger,
as though just delivered from a shipwreck of blood.
Lorca is great
Yankees!

WOO! GO YANKEES.

SHOW THOSE PONYBOY RANGERS THAT THE LAST TIME SOMETHING WAS BIGGER IN TEXAS WAS WHEN A-ROD SAW MICHAEL YOUNG IN THE SHOWER.

My hope is that this series goes seven games and the NLCS goes 5, so that the NL starters line up better.

I want the National League to have every possible advantage in the World Series.

Cliff Lee is an anagram for Eli Flice. Coincidence?

Yes.

Apparently the comedy continues with Lopez Tonight.
Call me skeptical but I don't think this is true for at least 3 different reasons.
Jose Lopez is too serious to be funny.

That's one of them!
According to wikipedia, Kano is one of the reincarnations of evil.
And the former leader of the black dragon empire.

He can also shoot red laser beams from his eye.

None of this is in his scouting report
Were the New York fans just chanting "Asshole! Asshole!" at Michael Young?
He does seem like a bit of a prick.
Ben Gibbard is singing the National Anthem at NLCS Game 3 tomorrow.

I should be excited, being a fan of his and all, but the Mariners’ season after his Opening Day performance just has me nervous.

The M's were already 2-5 before the home opener, the Gibbard curse has been greatly exaggerated.
They didn't even have 100 losses after it!
Most feared hitter in baseball!

WHY WHY WHY
Dude, there's no Y in Robin's-on Cano(e)
I read this as Robin's sun canoe.
I never saw the sun until you said that.
I hate that feeling.

My brain deciphers a lot of messages like this one really easily, but sometimes they just skip on by and I’m left there holding the short end of the bus.

The thing was, the joke still worked without it, so I'm happy with it.
Rec'd for being above and beyond.
Yeah, that was a strike Posada. You're a catcher, you should probably recognize one.
How great would it be Lee wins tonight and in game 7 knocking out the yankees and then signs with them next year.

Hey guys remember me? I cost you another world series appearance. Fun times.

That would be the worst thing ever.
That would not be great.
Lee is going to sign with them, it is a sad fact. He is going to get a huge contract he deserves.

I’d rather there be that awkward moment in the locker room than no awkward moment. I’m a huge fan of awkward moments and I love the Bradley and Wedge are on the same team again.

So I need to recheck my comments before I post.

*I love that

You and I seem to have a different definition of the word "fact"
No it is not a fact.

The Yankees do not get every free agent ever. He might be more likely to go there but it is certainly not a foregone conclusion.

Your 100% absolutely right.

I’m just depressed that we wont get him back.

And by another I mean A
None.

The answer is “none great.”

Better than bacon!

That was AWESOME!

Ride the Gardner pony Cliff.
Cliff Lee honest-to-God tea-bagged Brett Gardner there.
I'll have to check for that on the highlight shows.
That lucky son of a bitch.
No kidding. Gardner has a purty mouth.
No Yankee deserves to even be in close proximity to Lee's scrotum sweat.
Tabasco on pizza sounds terrible.
Not really.
No, for reals.
I've never heard him talk before, but Mike Golic seems like the kind of guy who would be bros with Colin Cowherd.
Any time fat people endorse food, it makes me simultaneously desire it (opulence) and question its nutritional benefits.

And I don’t care how much weight you lost on NutriSystem, Mike Golic, you are a ~50-year-old former NFL defensive tackle. There’s no way you’re not out of shape.

It depends on the pizza.

On the whole I think I’d rather go with the crushed red pepper.

This is my belief, yes.

Spicy things are great, but Tabasco is not the right choice.

In the Philippines they put blandish 'hot sauce' on all pizza.

It’s kind of nasty. Pizza Hut and Shakey’s are the only ones that don’t automatically bundle it.

Again, spicyness is great.

But Tabasco has a flavor, and that flavor is not complementary to pizza. MAYBE it is on meat pizza, but I don’t eat meat so I wouldn’t know. It would not taste good on cheese pizza.

I'm thinking it could work...

from the vegetarian angle if the tomato sauce was a bit sharper in its acidity or if there were onions or marinated peppers, but I wouldn’t use it on something that had a lot of cheese on it, no.

Debatable, and likely too subjective to be proven.

My immediate taste response to the idea is ew.

Yes, in general white guys here dislike the hot sauces they put on pizza,

but it’s not a slam dunk. And many guys who’ve been here for a few years actually learn to like it, so what do I know.

I’m with you that spicy=good. And if the pizza is terrible, then it’s a good way to mask the horror. I just don’t think you can do a whole lot better for the overall aroma/flavor combo than crushed red pepper and parmesan. One of the big local problems with using parmesan is they don’t have a strong dairy system here.

Their calcium intake comes from sardine bones.

That's a lot of fucking sardines.
No risk of pregnancy that way.
Good point.

I guess you’d have to have one to fuck a fish that size.

Wow, you are really overthinking this.
Dude, when you go three years without a good pizza,

you start to look for the break in the chain.

Do they just eat the sardines whole or?...
My dad eats sardines this way.

Disgusting.

Well, I know with eel they don't bother to de-bone it.

But there are other preparation methods, like in Japanese restaurants I’ve had deep fried bones from smaller fish and it’s a little odd at first, but it’s not bad. I didn’t expect that they’d have the same preparation methods in the Philippines so I was curious as to what they did.

Yes, they eat them whole.

They crave ‘em, too. There just isn’t a suitable substitute for calcium, and they obviously don’t get enough as it is, with a national height of like 5’5" for men and 4’11" for women.

Makes sense.

The body is designed to crave things like that if there’s some kind of nutrient that’s deficient in the environment.

All I know is he gets the stuff from the cans and it doesn't look like they take anything off.

Although I never really look close. They reek like hell too.

I think it's more of a matter of base, with regards to Tabasco.

Vinegar on pizza without the benefit of the pepperoccini’s natural flavor makes Tabasco ew. Other peppers just don’t work. I wouldn’t put Habanero on pizza, because the tastes clash too much.

The only peppers I like other than crushed red is grilled bell peppers.

But thats on my homemade stuff.

Sriracha is a good choice on pizza.

It doesn’t complement the taste at all but its one of those sauces that’s good on a lot of things, like ranch.

I love that stuff.

Use it all the time when cooking rice, chicken, veggies etc. Delicious.

I regret using this phrase without a kickass gif.
Exactly.

Tabasco has a really weird sort of hotness. Red pepper just adds plain spiciness.

Probably the vinegar.
Might be. Tabasco has it's place.

Pizza is not it.

Breakfast foods.

Omelets, hashbrowns, etc.

Yes, good on stuff with eggs.

I like my hashbrowns with salt and nothing else though.

Goddamnit

I want some pizza now.

Don't forget the Tabasco.
So Cliff is still pretty good.

Whats new.

Just filthy.
And I don't mean his hat.
Bitch please.

No one beats the Yankees without cheating.

CONSPIRACY!
Goddamn right.

That Ichiro dude probably has shit going too.

They're talking about the Mariners! Sort of!
Wow. Cliff Fucking Lee.
That's right Nick Swisher, fuck along now.
7 Ks in 11 batters!
Well that was just embarassing.

Didn’t realize Swisher was named after the sound his bat makes when he faces Cliff Lee

Did the world explode yet?
Cliff owes everyone a refund.
ROBOTS
The third ball was the only one that was really borderline and it still looked more like a ball than a strike.
I know, but I don't want to accept that Cliff Lee walked anyone.
He had a balls on base last inning with Brett Gardner
You know, just this morning I was thinking that there weren't enough songs about supply chain management.

Thank you UPS.

Does Joe Girardi have a platinum grill?
I wonder if his had brims keep spinning every time he stops.
Is that Conan?

Taze Him!

Does anyone else hear that slurping sound coming from the broadcast booth every time Robinson Cano bats?
No, but thanks for getting me thinking about it.
Jeter's getting up in years, he's got to pass the baton so to speak.
Please Cliff, don't take the money.

I want those Yankee fans who are so sure they’ll get you this winter to be very very sad.

Cliff Lee's hat is gross
He's no Steve Kline.
Somehow I can't help but thinking that was all Dave Sims' fault.
Suck a dick, Posada, you cheating fuck.
Molina is dropping 3rd strikes like his name is Rob Johnson.

ICEBURN!

Josh Hamilton heard the crack off the bat and tried to snort it.
This thread has 140 comments, at the moment.

Thirty-five of those were in the hot sauce subthread.

We’re really invested in this game.

I love hot sauce.
I had a 500,000 scoville unit hot sauce that feel from my cabinet onto the ground.

My dog tried to lick a giant glob of it, and to essentially save his life I had to kick him right in the face since there was no other way to reach him in time. As I cleaned it the steam burned my eyes.

I had some of that too! Did you have to sign a waiver to buy it like I did?
Got it free as a gift.
Speaking of hot sauce, I want to fuck Cliff Lee.
I honestly find myself kind of lost here.

I just can’t get into these playoffs at all. Usually I can to some small extent at least, but nothing this time. Whatever, pizza is sex.

Hard not to like these Rangers

I mean, I get why I’m not supposed to, but as a baseball fan there’s just so much t love there

Oh I thought that was gone
Can we root for this series to end from, and result in, 10/18?
What does this even mean?
Yeah I also got kind of lost
Too soon?
Too late?
When
Right now.
Well, now it's gone.
No, you'll have to wait another two hours, at least on this coast.
But, it's still daylight time so isn't it three?
All right, everyone out of their parallel universes and back into the gamethread.

It’s a little after 10 pm EDT right now.

You don't let us have any fun.
The universes were confusing, but not in interesting ways.

It’s back to square one.

This sounds like something that should have been said in an early LOST meeting.
And that's why I decided to not watch that show.
I have to honestly say I've seen about 10 minutes of one episode.

Maybe when I retire.

You made chose wisely.
I'm out.

I can’t do anything right today.

No way, this turned out better than the radio broadcast
I never give in to peer pressure.
Now you've lost me.
You know, just double peer pressure and multiply it by it's square root.
I believe it's your peer divided by your area.
No the integral of the squared area over 3.
How do I made post?
HOW BABBY FORM?
How I mine for fish?
Easy.

And pick up the pieces.

Remember the portal in Twin Peaks?

That led into a room with the backwords talking midget? Yeah

FUCK YES

Shit was AWESOME.

The series finale was pretty terrifying.

I hear they have that gum you like, Jay.
Hopefully soon. Preferably after Cliff Lee leaves the stadium.
Yeah that clears it all up.
I may be getting trolled.

Can’t tell.

I'm alluding to an event which happened in NY and is known by a date. And now repeat.
I don't know why you thought this would make sense at all to anyone other than you.
I thought you said you'd never forget.
Again, I don't know why you thought this would make any sense to anyone other than you.

You mention a random date that is not actually 9/11 and then expect everyone to know exactly what you are talking about.

Maybe 10/18 is the anniversary of the day that Robert's friend seized the controls of the Microsoft Flight Simulator game.
It was more entertaining than the game.
No, no it wasn't.
Then I apologize.

Sorry guys. Back to baseball.

Here's the thing...
I hope A-rod goes Abe Vagoda on Cliff Lee
And OBVIOUSLY by Abe Vagoda, I meant Ted Bundy, which you should have known since their first names both have one syllable.
I wonder how many Abe Vigoda references we would have without you.
I'll guess two, both by Aaron Campeau
Not nearly enough.
We've got eleven currently archived.

CapSea – 4 (five now)
marc w. – 2 (both band references)
cjhenry41 – 1
RustyJohn – 1
thehemogoblin – 1
wazzu93 – 1
Phildopip – 1

Hot damn, I've contributed to something!
Still not nearly enough.

Also, I spelled Vigoda wrong at least twice.

Super Bowel.
That's a play on turds.
Someone beat kevin to it.

I’m shocked.

Where's Sullivan when you need him?
Until Faux pointed it out I never realized I was spelling it that way
No hits for Vagoda archived.
There will be soon!
Personally I was hoping for and Eddie Munster with a side of cream cheese

But an Abe Vagoda will get it done

Geez, it's spelled Vigoda.

We’re both a couple of dingi.

I don't think you're gonna salvage this one.

I got it.

It wasn’t that big of a stretch.

Will he be having tabasco pizza, by chance?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Tabasco pizza? Ewwwwwwwwwww
I don't think we're getting a lost sequel.

I hope to god not.

In future threads, please interact with us and not the alternate universe inside your mind.
Too much Fringe.
You have made less sense than anyone since classic Coach.
It's lonely in the bleachers.
I would imagine so.

The Mariners don’t play until like next year.

Andy Pettitte has his name engraved on his glove. Is that a common thing for players?
Hyphen does it I think.

I think it’s in Japanese too for some reason.

And I think Felix did it too, at least his first few years.
Tim Lincecum's says

SCUM

Maybe he convinced the guy who makes Ichiro's glove to make his.

I doubt it tho. The guy who makes Ichiro’s glove is a legend in glove making circles in Japan.

It's fairly common.
It's common enough that they offer it on custom Rawlings gloves now

if you buy through their website.

Most players do that from what I have seen.
I engrave my name in everything I own.
Dude...ouch.
You got owned at some point in the past, I take it.
This is going to a good place...
That's probably what they told him.
Worked, too...
Aw quit bitchin.

You’ll get over it with therapy.

It's kind of sad when you get to the point where all you can say

about a trauma is “I will not let this traumatic experience define me.” And you repeat it, falling into a trance-like state each and every time the situation gets brought up.

MARINERS FAN.
Does it ever feel like a confession when you tell people you're a Mariners fan?
More of an apathetic declaration, really.
"You like baseball too?"

“Yeah, well, I’m an M’s fan, so…”

I know what you're saying.

Kind of like, NFL fan? Well, Lions……

First team ever with a $100 million payroll to lose 100 games (2008).

I treat surviving that like I treat graduating from one of two high schools in Oregon to be rated unacceptable multiple times by the state board of education. If one can live through that, one can handle anything.

It surprises me how many people I've seen wandering around NYC in Mariners gear.

Sometimes it feels a little weird talking to Yankees fans about it, but a few of them still respect us, or are mad because we were the thing that stood in the way of Mattingly getting a ring. Other times it’s just “oh you have a team, that’s cute”. But most of the people I talk baseball with don’t have quality teams anyway, so they understand.

Maybe it's because I only seem to meet Yankees, Giants, and angles fans,

and I know they’re going to make fun of me.

Really?

Giants fans?

Well, they ARE in the NLCS.
Huh?
How does it feel to be confused, you bastard??
That does suck.

Also, thanks for bringing up my iffy parental lineage.

At least yours is still questionable.

There’s no hope for mine any more.

If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the marinerholics anonymous thread.
No worse than watching the M's this season.
I could have mentioned I live in San Francisco.
I know Mets fans, D'Backs fans, and a Brewers/Indians fan.

The one Phillies fan I know is so level-headed I have no idea how he’d respond if they won it all this year.

I tried to give a knowing nod to a guy I saw on the subway in NYC wearing an M's cap

but he didn’t respond and nobody seemed to give a crap about my M’s cap during the playoffs there last year.

But I did get the evil eye from a bunch of people on the BART this Opening Day in Oakland. That was fun.

All of a sudden, that got really intense.
I know.

misterjonez, I’m sorry I referred to that one time when you got owned.

Everyone, let's hear it for misterjonez and JY.

I think we’ve had a breakthrough this evening.

Hi, Jay.

Wait what?

Go ahead, Cornelius. You can cry!
I'm having a hard time typing. You guys crack me up.
I think you need a good, long, hard hug.....
It still hurts...
I engrave your name on everything I own too.
Your cat must hate you.
Dog.

And it was easy to clean up with a few spare rags, so whatever.

That's what she said?

::ducks::

LL is a TWSS-free zone.

Don’t worry, I learned the hard way too. It’s generally regarded as a played-out joke here (although I am not of that persuasion).

It was played out before it started.
Yeah, I figured it was played out here.

Still, I couldn’t think of a clever way to reference it indirectly.

"At one point, she spoke of a moment much akin to that which you describe."
Now, if we could flavor that with some Irish-ness, we could go to market.
How about some tabasco?
I love Tabasco!
Is it Irish?
Close enough.
It ain't Mexican.
Good enough for me!

Now just get Sheamus O’Shaunessy to rep it on the tv spots, and we should be sipping mixed drinks on a tropical island as soon as the stock offering happens.

Fuck yeah dude.

I think this is where I kill you and take your share.

I enjoy your business acumen.
I'm not really afraid of the death threats.

It’s the damned lawyers that get my stomach churning.

I'm not really afraid of the death threats.

It’s the damned lawyers that get my stomach churning.

Second verse, same as the first.
There I go repeating myself. I've been told that's a fatal tell.
Yeah, we can totally pretend you aren't next until you turn your back.
You're dealing with a guy who fistfights hobos and hides out in Thingrays bushes.

Checkmate.

Well, shows you what I know.
I challenge you to a treasure of the sierra madre style "who can stay awake the longest" duel
I haven't slept in four years.

I also see everyone as a ninja threat, and I swear to god my couch talks to me.

Meth is one hell of a drug.
This subthread is unusual.
No more so than this entire post.
I will not let this traumatic experience define me.

I will not let this traumatic experience define me…

Your couch does talk to you kevin.

Do what the couch says.

Okay. I'm gonna go get some sleep and shower and find a job.
Your couch is a total dick, dude.

Maybe your ottoman is the party animal.

Dammit - thank god we don't run out of recs to give.
Maybe the ottoman is a ventriloquist?

Seems to make more sense, when you think about it.

Great. Now I'm terrified of everything I own.
The comedowns are a total bitch, man.
The cat should be okay.

But now it’s hiding cause CapSea showed up.

After all of this, we have a unique image of how you would go about finding a job.
In the shower, of course.

Jesus, Jay. Are you retarded?

Something tells me you would try the liquor store first.
Don't shit where you eat is what I say.
That's just to get ideas.
Those ideas are at the bottom of some bottle.

It’s my duty to find them.

That's a worm, dude, and you're not even drinking Mezcal.
IT FUCKING MOVED
No, that one's not inSIDE the bottle.
It also turned into MJ and tried to rape me, so I'm not sure whats real.
Umm..nope. That one wasn't real, either.

Hehe….

You can file it under, shit to blame on The Office.
So I'm not the only person to not enjoy that show? What a relief.
I never really got into it.

For certain, I couldn’t sit down and watch ten episodes in a row. The characters seemed too static, and the jokes weren’t all that fresh.

I haven't watched a ton and a lot of the later season shit, but I don't see the appeal.

And Steve Carell annoys me

You are not American.
I like Breaking Bad?

Oh and he was fun in Despicable Me.

You may proceed.
Do comma splices go there too?

/grammar Nazi

That was terrible.

And yes.

I always drew on mine with a Sharpie so I could find it in the pile of shit in the dugout.
I did this so that when I inevitably left it places people could get it back to me.

That happened a lot.

My coach hated it. One year I wrote "FUCK" where the knuckles would be, in Old English font like a tattoo.
My coaches all loved me.

I got away with shit like that.

Oh, mine too. That's why he let it slide.
Hey, who's Fuck Face?
Am I up to bat, coach?
Somebody got a hit
Oh yeah. Baseball.
What the fuck is this, baseball?
How many scoredowns does the home side have
They had a good chance at a field goal, but they bogeyed and had to take the slam-dunk.
I fucking hate chick sports.
I like soccer with Elizabeth Lambert
Bowling with Jenny Finch.
Becomes swinging with Scott Speizio.

Think I’ll pass.

Yeah, but at least they're holding par on their free throws.
Another double fault and they're screwed.
I can't believe A Rod messed up Jeter's sticky wicket.
Yeah, but watch out. The other bowler throws a wicked Googly.
Ouch. Ever had A Rod in your googly?
I once got one in my Golgi Apparatus. My cells couldn't package proteins worth shit for a week.
HAHAHAHAHA!

Baaahahahahaha!

This is fucking GOLDEN.
I fucking love basebaLL.
They're out of fouls, so another false start and they'll be on their second serve from the eighteen.
And now you've gone and upset Cliff
Why dont you tweet about it Swish
Who's doing color commentary?
Ron Darling and John Smoltz.
Some Yankee fans...
So, the story of this game so far is Pettite says Smoltz
I love the implication that only Texas Rangers fans should drink Guinness.
Well, they did trade for Cliff Lee, so I would have to admit that they were at least temporarily BRILLIANT!
This question comes from Edgar on Facebook.
Hello, Edgar from Facebook!

We’re here admiring the prowess of Pettite and the Mighty Yankees tonight, glad you could join us! What’s your question?

Dear John Smoltz, can you pass this note Cliff Lee for me?
Anyone else think that Edward Jones commercial looks like a pitch for you to join a cult?
They have koolaid?

Grape or Cherry?

No, put it's all in black and white with smug, self-satisfied, enlightened looking people and a plea by a wizened oldish guy to "Join Us"
Even more so when you watch it without sound and the only words you see are "Join us" then "Edward Jones"
Shit, I have not seen that one.

People get paid for those ideas too. I’m in the wrong profession.

Ha Smiltz talking shit about Francoeur

he should know

If only Pettite's command were as good as his pickoff move he might not be in line for the loss.
We'll be seeing bullpen motherfuckers pretty soon

and then all hell might break loose

Every time sing God Bless America the terrorists win.
God Bless America played backwards sounds the same as the call to prayer
Let's try that again.

Every time they sing God Bless America the terrorists win.

Why?
Because it's a terrible, terrible song that no one liked or even knew existed until after 9/11
If anything, they should sing God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood.

That at least had a tune.

I'm down with that.

I’ll be in the Chevy if you need me.

I was trying to remember the title of that.
I'm pretty sure that's not necessarily true.
No, it's true. Trust me on this, I'm a doctor.
Oh, well shit, man. Why didn't you say that before?
The operative parts of that, "terrible, terrible song," still apply, regardless of the song's previous popularity.
I hadn't realized that they didn't sing the song before 9/11.

I only started watching American baseball in 2001, so I guess it makes sense that I didn’t catch the change.

It's better than the National Anthem

But our National Anthem kinda sucks.

Russia's national anthem for the win!
Shit is catchy.
Makes ME proud, and i ain't even Russian!
Canada.
The worst rendition I've ever heard of the Canadian Anthem

was at the ’01 All Star Game. I had considered the song un-fuck-uppable, but I was proven wrong.

Oh my God, yes.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way.

I don’t even remember who it was who sang it, but God it was terrible.

I remember an actual feeling of anger.
Worst rendition of US anthem?

There are so many.
Carl Lewis and Roseanne are the obligatory mentions.
THEY RUINED OUR NATIONAL PAST TIME
We had eighty-two posts last night in a game that most of us cared more about.
Pizza will do that to people.
Your sig lines up well with this.
That was fucking awful.
Cliff needs some grounders now
Like that
and that. No more Ks
Really, that's Smoltz on ESPN?
Oh hey, bullpen, 8th inning.

Weee

This game is flying by.
Just like Cliff Lee's pitches.

Dammit, that guy’s a stud.

I really hope the Mariners win this game.
I wonder if Putz and Dickey ever ended up dropping their periods.
We're going to seeing some pretty pregnant bellies soon.
12 Ks
That was a sick strikeout too
What's weird is that this isn't even the 2nd best pitching performance of the post season
Halladay & Lincecum, sure

but here’s Cliff every time out

Not really close.
Cliff Lee is so overrated.
We should sign him to a small contract so he can use Safeco to pad his stats.
God I love that man.
So if the Rangers manage to win one more non Lee game, they're gonna beat us to the World Series.

Goddamnit.

Isn't it best of 7?
Yes. One more non Lee game

Because Lee gets one more start

Cliff Lee, I you would so desire it, I would let you have me.
Do the Texas the Yankees? No? Then yes.
I eat cat food.
And your breath?
Silly, my breath doesn't eat.
This is more surreal than usual.

but the correct answer was “smells like cat food”.

I couldn't force myself to play into that.

I was just about to post a pic.

You win this time. And last time. And probably next time.

No, I meant ever word of what I said.
God, I'm turning into JI.
That's a mistake - Gardner is fast enough to cut that ball off and hold Hamilton to a single if he takes the right angle.
Does Guerrero have a post season hit yet?
.083 average, so yeah.
I'm too lazy to actually look it up though.
Hamilton took all his hits.

BAZING!

But yeah, he has 6.
I agree, announcer.

The best thing you can do is not try to get a lot of runs until the 9th, then BRING IT. P90X!

They have to send him out to start the ninth, no?
Yes, and it looks like they are going to.
Too lazy to look, but who is batting for the Yankees in the bottom of the inning?

(In my defense, I have about 15 tabs open, 14 of which are related to an essay I should be writing.)

Top of the order: Jeter, Swisher, Tex
Depends on how long he sits here.
Yeah, definitely.
Texas might start scoring here
Morgan was just silent for like 45 seconds.

orgasm

That didn't take long.
Was the reason he was silent for like 45 seconds, or caused you to have due to the fact?
The latter.

But, it’s gone now. He’s babbling again.

I've never liked him very much, except when I was a new fan

and enjoyed his personal insights into the game.

Now, I’m with you.

I think I'd enjoy Jon Miller without him.
Jon Miller is good with or without anyone accompanying him.

Kind of like Yo-Yo Ma on the cello.

Yeah, he could be okay.

His voice kind of makes me sleepy though. Although that could be the pills.

Wow. Texas has a great shot to go to the World Series, and I'm not even upset.
That's the most fucked up thing you've said all evening.
Cliff fucked your sister.

Actually, I would be okay with that.

Me too. But her husband would BE PISSED.
Not a baseball fan eh?

Who wouldn’t want a little Cliff?

Cliff Lee.
Cliff has like 3 little Cliffs.
He's no A.C. Green.
Is there some maximum quota for Cliff Lee's?

If so, I suggest we figure out some form of bootlegging and get on with it. Maybe involve the Chinese somehow? They don’t really respect property rights like we do, and are quite good at making cheap approximations of the real thing.

The chinaman is not the issue here.
TOS, you're outta your element!
Is there some quote for Cliff Lee's?

If so, I suggest we figure out some form of bootlegging and get on with it. Maybe involve the Chinese somehow? They don’t really respect property rights like we do, and are quite good at making cheap approximations of the real thing.

Only 2...

Nice.
On second thought, that might actually be his wife.
That is his wife. That's why it's only 2.
Yeah I thought it was his daughter at first.
Well he was born in Arkansas.
Well, he is from Arkansas
That was....uncanny.
Seriously.

Spooky stuff, guys.

They've apparently been together since junior high school.

and not just since she was in junior high school.

Had to rip open that wound....
Ledge and Ridge Lee?
Related Cliff Spawn!

Score!

Uncle Cliffy is my hero.
I wish Josh Hamilton had super aids.
Ok, might be best to just pull Lee now.
This is fucking awesome
Fuck the Yankees!
Any news in the prospect world, JY?
Oh yes.

Johermyn Chavez has been tearing it up in a handful of games in Venezuela. Alex Liddi has also been respectable there. Cortes, Robles, and others are still just getting started.

In Arizona, Ackley sprained his finger in the second game of the season. Tenbrink started hitting the ball again today. All of our pitchers are throwing hard and are generally awesome.

Anyone rising in potential in your eyes?
It's only a short time span, but a few guys are off to good starts.

Chavez in particular, last I saw he was hitting .400 with half his hits going for extras and more walks than Ks. The relievers in Arizona have also been outstanding. Fields seems to be getting back on track mechanically and not overthrowing as much as he had, and Wilhelmsen, who has the great story anyway, has eight Ks in four innings now. He could move very quickly depending on what they decide they want to do with him.

Wilhelmsen... Don't remember ever hearing that name before.
Tom Wilhelmsen.

Basically he was a Brewers prospect, drafted back in 2002, played one year in their system then dropped out, smoked a lot of pot, did some traveling, did some bartending, and then at one point a couple years back he decided that he was sick of drinking and smoking all the time and wanted to try baseball again. It turned out he could still pitch, like mid-90s on the gun pitch, but he got injured after the Brewers re-signed him and naturally, what with Zduriencik around, he came to us next. He didn’t get out of the Midwest League this year and is holding his own against guys that were mostly double and triple-A, albeit out of the ’pen.

Excellent, thanks. His last name isn't that great for jokes, but I think I can like him anyway.
I just realized something about our relationship
Your last name isn't that great for jokes either.
It depends on how you feel about references to late German Kaisers.

That’s about as far as I could get into the cleverness there.

Got your toes wet, mein freund.
I don't really care for them.
I didn't think so.
Not since they stole the word twenty.
That movie will write itsself when we go to the WS.
Jhohermyn Chavez?

What’s Wilhelmson’s first name?

Johermyn Chavez.

It varies based on where you see it, sometimes it’s Johermyn, sometimes it’s Yohermyn, but I think the J’s pretty standard now.

And it’s Tom Wilhelmsen, last name with two e’s, no o.

It's like Jo(h)jima was for his first couple months here apparently.
Why the parenthesis?
I remember seeing it as Jojima for awhile when we were interested in him.
Well obviously America has to correct the fucked up Asian names.
Seriously. Do you remember when his name was Kosuke Idontlikeyouverymuchbutletshavesexrightnow?

Freakin’ Asians.

We weren't sure whether or not there was an h in there.

It’s rather uncommon for a last name to be Romanized that way with the long O. Usually it’s oo or ou, but they probably made the right choice because it’s closer to the phonetic pronunciation.

I honestly knew none of that.

If you don’t win the most helpfull LLemmy that award is a mockery.

I'm helpful in pretty specific areas though.

Everyone knows that mention of prospects is going to get my attention no matter what else is going on.

So who was it that choked the game away in game 1?
Oliver is the one I remember.

It was kind of a group fuck-up though.

Too bad the Rangers lost game 1 with their best reliever still in the pen
I love a quiet Yankee Stadium!
I went to a game there once

the cement floors are incredibly sticky

It's wonderful to look at all those empty seats behind home plate.
I'm loving this score.

I wish I’d seen more of Cliff Lee this year, but being in Asia without a dependable internet connection made it impossible to catch more than two of his games.

I loved that overhead shot

it was like watching the cockroaches scatter when the lights are turned on

Start spreading the news...
This sucks
If Texas is going to win, this is the style I prefer.
True

But the goddamn Texas Senators in the world series before us, on the back of Uncle Cliffy, is tough to stomach.

They've existed longer than the M's have.
That makes me feel so much not better at all
I don't care how Smoak does...

The Lee trade was worth it for this game alone!

You do realize he isn't on the Mariners anymore, right?
He dislikes the Yankees apparently.
FUCK THE YANKEES!

I will continue to repeat myself!

Yeah! Fuck the Yankees!
I will join this chant.

Fuck the Yankees!

Clap. Clap. Clap-clap-clap!
Yay division rivals getting more money.
At this point, I don't want addition by subtraction.

I want our division loaded with talent, and managed by well-organized front offices so that we actually have to get our shit together to compete. Not just talk about competing, but actually competing.

I can't wait to be the Blue Jays of the AL West.
Well, Felix - Halladay.

Not too far from the relm of possibility.

Yeah I bet the Rangers hate the way they made the playoffs.
The point is, if our FO and upper management feels like they're

in a dog-fight every single year, they’ll have to push harder than they have. And then when rivals fall on their faces, we are in a position to capitalize. The way it is, we aren’t in a position to capitalize on anything.

We’ve been in a position to provide a family-friendly night at the ballpark, and hydro races. That’s about it.

Without Felix and Ichiro, this team really would be the Pirates, and that is despicable.

The team sucked because they had Bill Bavasi running them for five years.

During that time they had the dynasty or whatever you want to call it that the Angels had and some occasionally good A’s teams to compete with. The team has tried to be family-friendly for years, before they started to suck again. Having a team with more talent and newly found money can’t do anything but hurt us. If the front office wasn’t already motivated to try to put the best team out there possible then they shouldn’t have their job. To say they need to have better competition to stay motivated to put together a good team seems like an odd argument.

I'm guessing you're a bit angry.
I'm not really suggesting that having stronger rivals

is likely to make us better. But it will absolutely show the differences between successful and unsuccessful approaches. I’m just sick of being lied to and snookered for so many years, when it’s pretty obvious that this organization hasn’t done what it takes to be truly competitive since Gillick left.

At this point, I just want it to be clear. And if our fate is to be the Blue Jays West, I can probably live with that for awhile.

Yeah, I think we're sort of saying the same thing.

I don’t think this administration is as wildly incompetent as the Bavasi one. I’d rather be good than bad but I’d rather have the goodness result in playoffs than frustrating 3rd place.

To be fair, they haven't won this thing yet. They aren't in the WS yet.

I hate the fact that they could end up with more post-season coins, but I cannot help myself when Cliff Lee is pitching. Those are the only games I want the Rangers to win.

Yeah, but this seems like Yankee-hate not Cliff Lee-love.
No, it is not that. This is Cliff Fucking Lee Love.
Much of it seems to be that but some of it is just Yankee hate.

I have no problem rooting for Cliff Lee. I’m just rooting for the Yankees in the other 5 games.

I'm not being clear obviously.

I don’t want the Rangers to gain in any way financially during this post season. On the other hand, I cannot root for the Yankees against Cliff Lee. Did you see the man pitch tonight. That was 8 innings of solid sex.

Go Yankees, erase the Rangers.

Yeah. it's hard to root for the Yankees. That's why I'm making the Cliff Lee exception.

I don’t want to be associated with only the Nationals until one of us makes the World Series is part of it though.

No worries, we're on the same page.
I'm sorry dude,

but get over it. Let’s say the Mariners win the WS at some point soon. AWESOME!!! It’s what we have all prayed for!! It’s pretty hard to run a dynasty WS winner in baseball. So what if after that awesomeness, we regress to Cubs/Mets standards and languish for eons afterward? Either you’re a fan for life, no matter what, or you’re not.
Of course I would love to at least Brave it and go to the playoffs every post season, but I’m fine just dredging along waiting. And then I’ll wait again. And again.

I didn't say I wouldn't be fine with being as good as the Blue Jays.

I’d just rather make the playoffs if I had to pick. I’m not going to not be a fan. The teams that haven’t made the World Series doesn’t actually mean anything, it’s just nice to have more company in there than the team that picked first two years in a row.

Agreed
You're a dog. What do you know?
Proper bone burial procedures, which butts smell the best, the exact right moment to stick a cold nose to maximize discomfort.
Well that's not very nice at all
Hey guys, I don't think the Mariners are gonna win this one.
They're not gonna lose it either I don't think
@Coopz22: Seriously,fans throwing bottles in the #Rangers 'pen? Grow up for fuck's sake
Lee has the comfortablility factor.

That’s why he was able to use his strategeries to make this game happen.

Cliff Fucking Lee, Congratulations!
Cliff Fucking Lee, Congratulations!
That was great
To look on the bright side of this series, at least every game a team I hate loses.
This is a Mariners blog.

We don’t do glass-half-full shit. THE GLASS IS FUCKING EMPTY

And now, I can no longer justify my procrastination.

Goodbye, cool world.

But.. It's cool?
That was a weird movie.
What movie did I/you just reference? I have seen maybe one movie in its entirety in the past three months.
A movie starring Brad Pitt, Gabriel Byrne, and Kim Bassinger as a Jessica Rabbit wannabe.

Cool World. It’s like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? trying to be edgy with a dash author vs. creation fantasy and just failing in most regards.

Never seen it.

Anyway, I have a suicide note essay to write.

Right, I'm back to the research grind myself.

Good luck….

I am avoiding my calculus assignment like the plague.
I myself am avoiding going home and doing nothing,

so I bought a cute girl a glass of wine here at my bar, and I’m typing this to you as she types on her computer, and we’re not even talking, and that’s great, because fuck talking.

Bless you, sir.
Well, good luck in the next. Nice knowing you.
You cold bastard. You didn't even ask if you could have the rest of his beer.
Cliffs on the radio!!!!!!!!
Man that stadium is EMPTY
It really is amazing what Cliff Lee has done the last couple of years in the postseason.

He’s pretty much the ideal pitcher right now. What a pleasure to watch him pitch.

Rangers fan. I fucking love you guys for giving us Lee. Not here to gloat.

Smoak will be awesome. He’s a good dude. I’m just so fucking excited to be in the MF ALCS right now. HOLY SHIT. I love you guys. Mariners fans kick ass. Please don’t ban me. I love all.

...

Just kidding. Welcome to LL.
And you'll be able to root for the Mariners...

when they draft Matt Purke.

Good point!

I can attest to Purke’s awesomeness. He’s incredible.

It's one of the things that allowed us to maintain some faint hope towards the end of the season.

I don’t know if it’s going to be Cole or Purke at this point, but I would be quite happy with either.

What's amazing is.

That given the ALCS match-up, the M’s were given a choice to take the Yankees package or the Rangers package for Cliff Lee.

I’m happy with the Rangers’ haul….and the post-season results!

Jon Daniels is brilliant - he sows dissent and strife amongst his enemies with the hard-throwing gifts he bears .
If Lueke pitches for the M's, then I'll stand by my original approval of the Texas deal.

If they ditch him and don’t acquire equivalent value in return, I’ll probably moan for awhile about not getting Montero.

I leave you with a gift.

What's that from?
Don't you mean a ".gif"?
Was that this year?
I hate all of you.
Aw come on man.

It’s all in good fun.

Haha, I know.

It made me giggle.

Griffey would be dead by third if that was this year.
Why are all those ethnically diverse people attacking that sleepwalker?
Well, that can take you back. It's like 15 years old or something, I think.
Reply fail.
Seattle Mariners baseball fail.

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