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Lookout Landing

10/7: Open Playoffs Game Thread


C.J. Wilson

#36 / Pitcher / Texas Rangers

6-1

210

L

L

Nov 18, 1980



James Shields

#33 / Pitcher / Tampa Bay Rays

6-4

220

R

R

Dec 20, 1981



Andy Pettitte

#46 / Pitcher / New York Yankees

6-5

225

L

L

Jun 15, 1972



Carl Pavano

#48 / Pitcher / Minnesota Twins

6-5

250

R

R

Jan 08, 1976



Derek Lowe

#32 / Pitcher / Atlanta Braves

6-6

230

R

R

Jun 01, 1973



Tim Lincecum

#55 / Pitcher / San Francisco Giants

5-11

170

L

R

Jun 15, 1984


Derek Lowe looks like he's looking at Tim Lincecum

0 recs  |  709 comments

Comments

CJ Wilson and Andy Pettitte could be 2010 Photo MVP's.
Pettitte's picture reminds me of Botticelli's Venus.

So mysterious… I have no idea what it’s trying to convey to me.

Andy Pettitte is Mr. Burns as an alien
Sweet jesus, that is the superior comparison.
That's just because he is floating in whole milk
That was one of my favorite game threads from last season.
Always my favorite description.

Unfortunately I think they had the same photos in 2009
CJ Wilson should win, no question.
At first I had to remind myself that's not Colby Lewis because I would figure Colby Lewis to have a Fu-Manchu.
I wish we knew the REAL stories behind some of these pictures.

I want to know about Wilson and CC Sabathia.

There's always the opportunity to make up fake stories that are just as fun.

I think Carl Pavano’s photographer told him “You’re a sexy tiger”

And Andy Pettitte looks like he's looking at Carl Pavano
They must have told him "Okay Andy, on 3. 1.." and then they took the photo.
Who are six guys what can go fuck themselves
I have nothing against Lincecum.
I love Lincecum.
Fair point

I just resent SF very deeply.

Andy Pettitte looks like he is being lowered to earth by a tractor beam.
First game starts soon, right?
Let me MLB.com that for you
Wait, what does soon mean?
"Wilson may have better stuff than Cliff Lee"
What is something Tim McCarver would say?
What is something Buck Martinez has said?
Awesome.

I feel bad for the casual fans who actually listen to and believe whatever the broadcasters say.

You're describing my first 20 years of life. (At least)

Kids believe the darndest things!

Though, in this case – I think on a certain level Buck Martinez has a point.

I think we've all been through it at some point.

Live and learn!

Lee doesn't have the most amazing "stuff".

He just controls it better than anyone except for Halladay.

Eeeeh his stuff is pretty fucking good

certainly better than Wilson’s. Wilson isn’t that good a pitcher.

Yeah, I can't figure out what Wilson has that qualifies as great "stuff".
I'm not a Wilson expert, other than I remember him being pretty filthy as a closer.

So I went to fangraphs, and it appears that he has 5 pitches he uses with regularity and they are all above average. He is most certainly far behind Cliff Lee as an overall pitcher, and my understanding or interpretation of the fangraphs pitch values may be off, but it seems like he’s got some pretty good “stuff”

What do you mean above average?

if you’re going by the pitch values ignore those. They are based on pitch results and Wilson’s had a flukey low babip year.

Define "stuff"
According to my dictionary:

Things.

Define "things".
Can you explain the part where you said the stuff about the things?

You know.. the things.

Whatever "things" are, I heard they go better with coke.
Seriously though,

I think of “stuff” as velocity and movement. Lots of guys have amazing “stuff” but can’t control it. Tell me one of Lee’s pitches that you see and go “holy crap, did you see that?!?” like a Felix curve, or a Chapman fastball, or a Liriano slider.

Fastball, curve, changeup

I love Lee’s curve.

All of his pitches are good.

But none of them make me go “WOW!”. The location of the pitches is what blows me away.

Alright

I don’t think you can really dissociate the two when it comes to breaking balls, but probably you’re right. Although, the changeup is awesome and I stand by that.

It is a great change.

I think that might be the hardest pitch in baseball to truly appreciate.

That's the thing

It’s just a throwaway phrase for lazy talking heads like Buck Martinez.

I can get on board with this.
Cocknballs
There's only one Cocktober.
There's also Dickcember though
This year the playoffs will go into Nov-member.
And Nobvember...
Spring Training is in March.

And I got nothin’.

Lee may have better control
Hamilton: five changeups, three swinging strikes.

Shields… he’s okay.

Oh boy. Now he's got "Electric stuff"
He's also throwing heat and freezing up hitters.

Clearly some kind of mutant.

.

Great, now I'm hungry for an electrified burrito.
Oh great now they're in our food now.
now now now, now now now now
Really, CJ WIlson and Cliff Lee could not be more different
Buck Martinez annoys me because he has Cheif Wiggums' voice and is annoying and unlikeable
I have no idea how they choose broadcasters.

I think 50% of the people here right now could do a better job than 75% of the people they use for sports broadcasting.

I want to hear Christopher Walken call a game.

It doesn’t even have to be baseball.

Maybe on the TV

but it takes a good amount of research to know the teams well enough to rattle on about their players over several three-hour ballgames on the radio and not be deadly repetitive.

Maybe on the TV

but it takes a good amount….. Maybe you’re right.

TV adds 15 pounds.

of bullshit.

You should hear him to play-by-play for Toronto games.

He makes Tim McCarver look like an early adopter of sabermetric ideas. I can’t count the times he said “Jose Bautista really knows how to drive in runs,” completely ignoring that the guy batting behind him had 30 HR and only 87 RBIs and somehow that wasn’t incongruous to Buck.

HE NEVER STOPS TALKING
There are definitely flashes of Wiggum

But he sounds more like Peter Gammons to me.

Okay, to take the Lee/Wilson stuff argument way too seriously

best way I can think of to measure ‘stuff’ is overall contact rate and out of zone swing rate. Wilson is below average in both categories and Lee is better than him at both.

I would love to watch Buck Martinez' eyes glaze over at hearing "overall contact rate" or "out of zone swing rate"
Nelson Cruz:

acquired for Julian Cordero (who?), Francisco Cordero, Kevin Mench and Laynce Nix. Carlos Lee was part of the deal but whatever.

Even Kevin Mench couldn't wrap his head around that one
Few things can get wrapped around that noggin.
Carl Pavano looks liike how the guys on Jersey Shore think they look.

CJ Wilson looks like how the guys on Jersey Shore actually look.

Poor Rocco.
"I can honestly say that I'm not the best guy to do the job. If I could run in the least at this point or even hit at this point, trust me, I would be out there," Baldelli said. "But I have to look at myself and be honest."
I thought he was fine as long as he didn't play several days in a row?
He lives a pretty modern life.
Reached way too far for this reference.
Tropicana Field looks like an extremely boring ballpark experience
"He knows how to play small ball"

“In the postseason you have to face tough pitchers, and you have to be able to manufacture runs.”

Thanks, Buck.

Aw suck it Rays
His stuff is now weapons
CJ Wilson needs to trust his stuff
GIANTS!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
GIANTS GIANTS GIANTS GIANTS GIANTS
I have to work this afternoon
There was supposed to be a frowny face in this post
So you ruined your face?
Booo
I feel so contrarian for living here and conciously rooting against both the Padres and Chargers
Though I would root for the Padres or Chargers before 85% of the teams in either of their respective leagues
It was brutal when the Seahawks were in the AFC West

Quite a few objects and expletives were hurled at me at those games.

The Seahawks and Chargers are literally the exact same team over there history.
Pretty damn close but we got those fuckers by 3 wins and 16 points
When I wore my Jose Lopez jersey to Petco, people just looked at me like I was an idiot
And by "people," I mean abender20 and Teej
Boring
Their stadium is so pretty though!
And they are made of awesome
And the fans are fired up.
It's a weekday game indoors

They probably just snuck out of work, still thinking about that really boring meeting that is still going on in the conference room.

I'm glad we have some of you guys on our side

Thanks!

Based on your SBN profile, you must really hate Brian Sabean
Hate is a strong word

Vehemently dislike Sabean? Although if the Giants win the World Series, all will be forgiven… until the next Sabean blunder.

Fuck you, Shields.
Good thing I don't like Rays or this would be pretty annoying.
I was hoping the Texas Senators would languish in postseason failure for another 30 years
I also hoped Ron Washington would have a bout of Tourette's during that interview
Needs more Coke.
Where is Dr. Rockso when you need him?
He already has Josh Hamilton.
But Hamilton bailed on him.

Shitty wingman that guy.

I'd like to see the episode of Intervention where Josh's teammates confront him.

Ron Washington “Josh, your sobriety has affected me in the following ways: I am no longer able to get coke on a nightly basis without having to make dangerous trips to the ghetto. You used to be the main hookup and now it’s like you don’t care about anybody but yourself. Will you accept this back of crack cocaine?”

I want the Mariners to be the leaders in something.

Most years without ever going to the World Series?

But for fewest playoff wins, the Rangers still have a ways to go.

This game needs more crippling failure from the Rangers.
Fuck Texas.
It might take a while, but I will.
Don't Fuck All of Texas
Dude, my sister lives there.

Keep your damn hands off her.

Whoops - forgot to tell you she said hi.

Good with a lariat, that one.

You're odds might be greater than other states since everything is bigger in Texas.
So in theory, Yakima is an extension of Texas.
The Rays should jump start their efforts by wearing their Columbia Blues.
Thanks for that recap of the game Ron.

I had actually left my desk, so that helped.

Wouldn't it be cool to have a second baseman capable of hitting homers?
Like when Jose Lopez played second?
Who?
No not him. He is just another fucking terrible former Mariner.
25 dingers!
Needs more ailing family members.

Favre-itis is a terrible, terrible disease. But damned if you don’t play better when someone you love dies.

THREE IN ONE GAME!

THREE!!!!

High Five!
I think you meant high three
Seems it wouldn't be as satisfying.
He thinks he's a ninja turtle
He's bad and you should be happy he is gone
I had to talk him out of a Luke French jersey in April or May.
No you didn't

I never was more than 30% to buy it

.

I would have bought a Byrnes UCLA jersey first
That's 30% of your brain that needs to be removed.
There goes motor skills and bowel control!
Or a short stop?

Or a third baseman? Or an outfield?

Yeah, as long as he doesn't flip his bat on fly outs to the warning track and frost his hair
I would give anything to have vintage Bret Boone back.
Who wouldn't?
Dr. Anthony Galea.
Vintage Bret Boone was terrible except three years
Gee I wonder which Bret Boone I was talking about
I don't know, which one were you talking about?
The good one
The one that was drunk and full of dinger drugs
God, that was a good night.
What about the decent one that played from 1994-95, 1998-2000, and 2004?
Dan Wilson?
Gee I wonder which Bret Boone I was talking about
I don't know, which one were you talking about?
My head is hurty.
I'm not used to a broadcast where I am not told how wonderful Michael Young is every time he comes up to bat.
Well he is white
That mean's he is a hard-worker and made the most out of his non-God-given abilities!
Imagine a tandem of John Madden and Ron Fairly.

Fairly: You know, the tricky thing about baseball is hitting the ball with the bat and making the ball go somewhere where no other players are standing.

Madden: I once saw Bret Favre in the showers at the YMCA in Addison.

Fairly: Yeah, the thing about footballs is they’re not really balls because balls are round.

Madden: I love Bret Favre’s balls.

I knew the Rays would be a terrible playoff team
I'm sorry.

But BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Michael Young exists solely to piss off Mariners fans.
Shields is quite the renaissance man
There were some cherce words used by the Rangers on my audio feed.
Several very audible 'FUCK YEAH's
Worse words coming out of Shields, it would appear
Not to mention Joe Maddon.
Not like I blame 'em
James Shields seems really happy to have been taken out of the game
Entertainment!
So the Rays are boned.
Get your money's worth, Joe!
Well I guess this series is over.

May as well accept our new AL west overlords for the next few seasons at least. God dammit.

Rays are still in this

they just have to not lose to Cliff Lee again is all

Show me the CarFax.
Young definitely should have been rung up on appeal
Bahaha! Replay chant!
Ignorant bastards should be chanting "Robots"
Replay can't fix checked swings you moron
If I would a Tampa fan, I would be livid right now
I would if I too.
Normally I'd have the urge to suggest you use the subjunctive

but really we’re talking about Tampa fans so the conditional is appropriate.

Testicles to my typos
sucks to your ass-mar
If you were a Tampa fan, you won't find out about this until December.
The Rays are playing like the Mariners.
The Rangers have outscored the Rays 11-1.
...
The Rays are playing like the Mariners.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Remember when we used to say,

we’re not in the playoffs, but at least we’re not the Rangers.

REFUSE TO LOSE! 2 OUTS? SO WHAT!

YOU GOTTA LOVE THESE GUYS!

I think I've discovered that Tina Fey has been writing our last ten seasons.
I don't know anything about that, but I do know Ms. Fey is still a top babe.
I'd let her call the plays at this point.
I don't think anyone's surprised, either
He said Choate.
Words with an "o" or "i" in the first syllable give Buck Martinez trouble
I figured the Rays would kick ass against the guy who led the league in walks...
Young's check-swing

via one Jeff Sullivan on SB Nation

I like your avat-R.
Would you enjoy dating it?
Naw, just one sloppy night and no phone call.
Hawt.
There's more than one way to down 12 Rainiers.
Those helmets with the bendy straws, for instance
Yeah, you go on being all heterosexual 'n shit.
Thanks

From an old Seattle Rainiers font, obviously.

There's no defined rule as to what is/ is not a checked swing. It's a complete judgement call.

You couldn’t review it

Point being, the umps judgement was shitfire wrong in this case
If this happened to the Mariners it may dethrone this site's logo picture.
I bet you it wouldn't.
You're probably right. I'm just trying to give an example of the meltdown we would have over it.
Care to make a friendly wager, friendo?
Definitely not, I don't think it would happen.
How are the Rays so bad at offense?
Joe Maddon Fielded a call from Jack Z.
Why did you capitalize the F, dickweed?
These early games are fucking up my shit.
Is it green or something?
Flagged

unwarranted hostility

Can you come over and check?
I'm currently in Thingray's shrubs.

…just, y’know, making sure the foundation of the house looks good.

Rangers get a new FSports deal. Rangers light up Rays. Cliff Lee apparently warming to staying in Texas.

Yeah, the AL West might not be fun for a while.

That would really tick off all the Yankee fans

which is always a good thing.

NOT WHEN IT MAKES OUR TEAM WORSE
WHY DON'T PEOPLE GET THIS?
I DON'T KNOW BUT WHAT ON EARTH
When do we get our shiny new deal w/FSN, by the way?
In ten years.
Rumor has it the M's and Nick Jr. are in talks.
Shitty comedy with a bunch of affable kids and one 40-year-old Japanese dude who doesn't like to speak English

= GOLD

Sounds like the GI Joe movie
I bet Sportacus would maket this team better.
We're going to end up on Oxygen with a special before each game about Josh Lueke
Better yet we'll sign a deal with Oprahs new network.

That way we know 20 million people will watch no matter how pointless and shitty the product is.

We will have to give things to the fans who show up for the tapings though
Everybody in the audience is getting a Franklin Gutierrez FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCEEEE!!!!
This would be a "buy low" moment for the broadcaster
It would be much more fun if we were good.
I should have included this in my subject line.
I.e., "We Suck"
REFUSE TO LOSE

NO MEANS YES

This will also mesh well with all the refuse to abuse stuff
With Lueke as narrator....
Only if we get Chris Hanson as his surprise co-host.
What does yes mean?
It means you buy the Rainiers and get here as soon as you can.
It's okay. This game is giving everyone the runs.
Not Tampa, though.
Is it possible for you to go 15 minutes without a poop joke?
Many days actually, Matthew.

The above post was a reference to another post.

I'm the poop joke man around here.

ess is just a rookie.

Oh, don't go on getting yourself in trouble with the base humor.

Matthew got four recs for shutting my dumb ass up.

Oh crap.

I totally wasted my time then. That’s shitty.

Fuck you, those dolphins are not just outside the ballpark
It's a sad world when dolphins stoop to scalping.
.

Giants are even closer.
I figured that one was self-evident
Detroit is close, but no dolphins.
So is Pittsburgh.

But again, no dolphins.

There are certainly no dolphins in the San Francisco Bay.
The other guys in the grey suits hang out there
Bankers and Lawyers?
Think slightly more predatory
I know. It was a failed bankers and lawyers are and ruthless as sharks joke. .
That should read, as ruthless.
Oh it worked, just not on me
Seals?
Snacks for the guys in the grey suits
How are the Rays so bad.
They play in the AL East.
But, pressurrrrrrrrrrrrrre!
Fucking joke of a division. Too easy to play in that crap.
Somebody plug TBS back in
Fuck you, Michael Young.
But probably safe.
I do miss not getting the re-plays of action on the post-season feed
BJ Upton needs to go on a 2008 playoffs dinger rampage.
McCarver just claimed that Hamilton's jump and route were perfect but he just couldn't get there.
McCarver needs to come to my bar so I can fill him up with Bacardi 151 then set him ablaze.

Think of the tips I would receive.

You would not receive any tips, you would go to jail.
Thank you for that very sobering outlook on reality.
Kirk, it never ceases to amaze me that you always have my back.

::Knuckle-bump::

Shut up and stop complaining when people point out your terrible comments.
Stop it Robert. Stop it Kirk. Stop it Kevin.

If LL devolves into 2008 when regulars were at each others throats all the time I’m gonna brain all three of you.

Brains?!?!?

Now I’m hungry..

Noted

On a unrelated note, I have never before heard the term “brain” used as a verb until you used it and no later than 3 minutes after you did my best friend from High School called and randomly used it as well.

Thing is Hamilton's just not a very good athlete
I was under the impression that he was a crap center fielder particularly since he played left all year
If the Rays can score a few runs here, the fan will go wild!
I love that this isn't a typo.
Remember when they were threatening to move the M's there?

That seems weird now.

Ironic?

Fuck, I don’t know anymore.

Cruel irony, because the Sonics did move to an even more ridiculous destination

: (

Rays are having a really bad series.
Shut the fuck up Shoppach, that was damn near right down the middle.

The Rays are a bunch of whiny bitches aren’t they?

Their responses to calls against them had me rooting for the Rangers in mid-game.
Same here. I'm tired of their whining.
Okay, that was one hell of a pitch.
There's something inherently dirty-feeling watching Jared and three skinny African marathoners talk about Subway sandwiches.
This series is so boring.

Get a better playoff atmosphere Tampa Bay.

I remember how exciting the Marlins NLDS was in 2003.

Be better Florida.

Memo to game: Just end already. We're sick of you. You bore us.
2nd and 3rd in AL Rookie Home Run Leaders (Smoak, Saunders)

Whoooo Future!

Well huh, I didn't realize that.

That’s actually a cool thing the Mariners did (with a little help from Texas).

This Wheel-o I just found is much more interesting than this game
"They've been held to just 8 hits in this series by Texas"

Something you didn’t expect to hear in years gone by.

I FUCKING LOATHE THIS REALITY.
This is indeed a disturbing universe.
I bought an electric toothbrush
They let the 2002 Devil Rays into the playoffs.
The Mariners would do better than the Rays have done.
Can we just say, not any worse?
Animals with Antlers don't have claws.
Can anyone tell me what that football announcer is saying during the chess game?

Does it have anything to do with chess?

Partial translation

It’s a very intense match today. He’s thinking! He’s thinking! Will he move the queen or the horse?

GOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLL!

After the Will he move the queen or the horse, he says "He's going" a whole lot.
Ah right:

Viene! Viene viene viene!

All I know is "he's thinking ,,. he's thinking"
That is the part I know and it cracks me up.
Hell, all I knew was GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!
Thanks Rays, that was the most boring playoff game I have ever seen.
Almost wish the Red Sox would've made the playoffs.

At least they have Adrian Beltre!

At least there would have been someone to root against
I don't know about you but I root against the Yankees.
I always like it when the AL East is eliminated. I like the TV announcers to be all dumbfounded.
LETS GO TWINKIES
OL JIM JAM BETTER MASH TWO TATER TODA
TODAY
It was more Jim Jam-esque with the typos...
So good!

“CEE CEE HAS NOT STOLEN ALL OF THE TATERS AND CONSUMED THEM FOR THE PLAYOFFS. JIM JAM KEPT A FEW FOR HIMSELF.”

Thanks for that report on the Twins' routine changes, TBS

The Rays just didn’t bore me enough.

More Sager...
Like a rock, I was strong as I could be....

Wrong guy, huh?

Carl Sagan?
Carl Brutananadilewski??
You accidentally the game.
Shit, that was a total dead end, wasn't it?
Billions and billions of dingers
On the surface it would apprear the Yankees are a terrible draw for the Twins as they appear to be fucked sideways when the face a left handed starter
Fuck Andy Pettitte.

I hope each home run hit by the Twins today hits one of his family members in the face.

Or they could all hit Andy in the face.
Hard to be a home run and still hit the pitcher in the face.
If they hit it really hard at the right angle

or I could just admit that I didn’t read the above post correctly.

I suppose the right ricochet off of the upper forehead could theoretically clear the fence.

But I don’t think he’d stay in the game after that.

It could go all the way around the world and hit him in the face.
Andy Pettitte is my most hated Yankee.
Apparently, according to the announcers, Jeter is the only shortstop in the world that can turn a double play.
It would be so rad if Pavano rocked their asses
From the looks of that moustache, he already has.
Well, this game isn't a no hitter.

What time does the next one start?

Oh Twinks, you're not gonna sac fly the Yankees to death. Come on now.
Well Lance Berkmans career certainly faded quicker than I expected.
Old player skills?

He just looked like a guy that would fall off a cliff one day.

He used to be a center fielder
Yeah, but he was a big guy for that spot,

and moved to first a while back.

Sexson used to pretend to play left too.
It's kind of a surprise, he's a better contact guy than, say, Jim Thome, and he had to move down to first. It's not exactly the type of guy you expect to be done at 34.
While Thome is still useful.
That ball faded slower than expected.
I fucking hate the sound of Ron Darling's voice

It’s like tbs hired the most obnoxious sounding people possible just to annoy me

Is Darling the one that sounds like James Woods?

Both of the non-Smoltz guys have really grating voices.

He's the guy with a lisp who always sounds like he's really pissed off
Pavano gettin' filthy with it.
I don't think you're allowed to be anything other than filthy with a moustache like that.
Damn it Pavano. Stop being such a boner.
All the better to distract ARod with?
I want to do a Mariners playoff game thread here soooooooo badly.

Sigh. Next year!

Joey Cora is going to have such a foul mouth.
I prefer that, though, to every mound visit being labeled, ITS TINO TIME.
If I could speak to my 12 year old self I'd keep reminding him to "drink it in" because I didn't appreciate it enough.
I was there, AND I MISS IT.
You might consider a coma for a few years if that's what you're looking for.
Okay, pick up that bat and swing away.
It would be unusably active
Couldn't be worse than opening day
I'm pretty sure if we're good, every day will be like opening day
3 Part Game Threads!!
Opening Day is the best and worst day of the year.
Opening day means Felix!
Opening day means Rob Johnson dingers!
YAY!! Until he's replaced by a Molina?
Opening day means catastrophic gameday threads.

Although since I’ll be in Seattle for next season, I may bypass that by going to the ballpark that day.

GOING TO THE BALLPARK INSTEAD OF A GAME THREAD? WHY?

You better have your LL mobile handy. I promise you, it’ll load quickly and efficiently.

I've already done that a few times on the go.

Depending on how good the reception is I can get the full site on my phone without issues.

Am I the only one who has fantasies of winning a Super Bowl or World Series?

I’ve never felt such unbridled joy before, so the world is my oyster. I imagine it will be similar to my “I Won the Lotto Parties!” that I have in my head.

Weird. Never really followed a team and wanted them to win or get a trophy, or whatever.

I thought teams just played as an excuse for me to eat hot dogs and get drunk in front of thousands of people.

Nope, I do too.

I wasn’t old enough to enjoy the Sonic’s championship, and I want to experience my own.

I do all the time.

 Fortunately this Tuesday bought me some patience.

But Marshawn means we only have to wait until February? And then I may... or may not... burn down some buildings.
As much as I love adding Lynch,

I don’t think he’s our ticket to the championship this year.

Oh I see.. you're a Chester Pitts guy.

Yeah, I agree, he’ll be the one to get us to the Super Bowl this year.

We are going to the Super Bowl, I don’t care if we are 7-9 to finish the year. That’s all it takes. If those idiot Cardinals were one play away from a ring 2 yearrs ago, we can certainly do it.

I was thinking more of Stokely.
I love Stokely. He has overcome such great obstacles to become a great WR because he was not gifted as much as the other athletes and therefore he is a harder worker.
So, white
Woah woah woah woah woah...

Yeah.

God fucking dammit Twins, come on.
I have no faith in the Twins ability to score many runs against Yankees pitching
After the last two days, I have no more faith in baseball.
How can you not have faith after Halladay's performance?
That made me so happy.

But look at the teams that are winning.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Awww, I thought this was going to be OPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-TACCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
He booked it around those bases on that homerun.
I was unaware Andy Petite changed his name to Sally.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Is it tater mashing time?
We should get the Twins 3rd base coach.
Thome has really sucked it up in the big moments so far.
This Twins season is the one the M's should have had when they opened Safeco

Instead we got a half-dome season and Griffey bitching his way out of town. Oh, and Mesa blowing the first game.

Yeah, the mid-season opening of Safeco always bugged me.
But then we had 2001!
Yeah, 116 wins and done.

Once 9/11 happened I knew there was no way we’d win the whole thing.

Yeah, that was my first thought
I wish I had been that cynical, it would have saved me the heartbreak later.
Yeah..... yeah..... from that point on we were fucked.
It was when the second plane hit that Arizona knew the title was theirs
God. Nobody ever wants to give US credit for losing something that day. All we ask for is ONE history channel special on the anniversary shows.
The effect on the M's title hopes is the Building 7 of 2001 sports stories
I wonder what percentage of SBN discussion about 9/11 comes from LL

I would venture a guess of 35%

FUCK YOU WENDELSTADT
Young white women yelling at umpires is funny
Damn it twins.
Goddamnit Twins.
Man this is annoying.
GOD DAMMIT YOU ARE BLOWING IT TWINS
This is real bullshit.
"This team needed that, Ernie!"
Wendelstedt's strike zone has been awful all game long.
AH SHIT THEY'RE THROWING HATS
I've never sworn before in my life but the Twins can eat fucking dog shit bitch.
That's why I follow these threads

the writing is so thoughtful.

Go Craig Sager!

Keep going!

Minnesota would fuck this up
The Giants series cannot start soon enough.
Go Rangers

beat the Yankees.

I'm going to root for a meteor to hit Yankee stadium during the ALCS.
WHY
Why what?

Why would anyone hope the Yankees lose? I’m guessing it was meant to ask about the meteor comment.

We don't want the Rangers in the WS.
Well, I don't want the spankees there.
I want the Rangers not to succeed more than I want the Yankees to lose
Sounds like a priorities mixup to me.
Given that I am a Mariners fan much like lemonverbena

and that the Texas Rangers are in the same division as the Mariners, it seems as if my first priority would be for a division rival to do poorly, thus allowing the Mariners to do better.

You also appear to be a Seattel Mariners fan, and thus the correct priority would be for you to want Texas to lose as well
uh, the Mariners aren't in the postseason.
Try and keep up here, bud.

MORE MONEY FOR THE RANGERS = BAD FOR THE MARINERS

:-(

Wait...can you start over?
DON'T TROLL ME BRO!
facepalm
No, really, I actually facepalmed
Speaking of, who here literally facepalms from time to time?

I find myself doing it more and more frequently as of late

I did several times at jury duty today :(
I do quite often.
*raises hand*

I used to do it on a daily basis at my old job, but I worked with drug addicts, so there was a lot that was facepalm-worthy there.

I also wear glasses, so when it's a serious enough facepalm that I take them off for added effect...

…. you know you fucked up real good.

I do this too.
It's a great way to get your point across, isn't it?
I do. It's the perfect areyoufuckingkiddingme? gesture.
I almost broke my skull while doing it when I was talking to somebody and she was adamant that she saw Sweden from across the lake while in Italy.
You've sure met some dumb people.
Sweden, Switzerland

At least they start with the same letter!

You either have a very brittle skull or a very hard hand.

Also, sweet baby jesus on a stick with barbecue sauce, but that woman is dumb.

I could help that girl see Sweden
Damn wormholes.
Yup, if the Rangers go to the postseason, the Mariners won't be able to rebuild.
I know! Fucking Rangers.
That's not the argument.
I don't think you understand what is going on here.
No no he's taken the upper hand here!
GOD DAMMIT LOL WHY DON'T YOU SUPPORT MY ARGUMENTS BETTER?!
(that is an LoL, not laugh out loud)
Whats LoL mean?
Have a quick look at your address bar.
We're not talking about Dota here.
I think I do.

That is out-fucking-standing.
Hey, tits! Hay tits!
I understand

I just think you guys are worried about the Rangers outspending the Mariners just because they will advance in the post season.

I don’t think Dallas will suddenly become the biggest baseball crazy city in the US.

Playoff success gives a longterm boost of income to the team.
Not to mention suddenly becoming a lot more attractive to the big-name free agents.
I'd say meh on that aspect

because Texas has always been fairly attractive since a lot of players live in/are from the south, and the team has traditionally had money to spend. I’d be more worried that they have $ to lure free agents than guys suddenly being attracted to a winning team.

If you want a concrete example of how this helps, had they been sold last year

and had money to spend in the draft, they would have Matt Purke in their system right now, and he’d be one of the best pitching prospects in baseball

I think it also helps that they have/had no state income tax
And you can buy a 50 acre spread for like $100
I'm worried about them spending eleventy billion dollars and us never winning the division
Eleventy actually isn't a number =/
I'm not up on the new maths
Tell that to Keanu Reeves
Did the Mariners not have more money to spend whenever they have had success?
Yes.

Although to be perverse, they had the most money to spend when they stunk and Bavasi pissed the money away.

Ok so it is easy to assume that the Rangers will also have more money to spend if they are succesfull and go to a World Series correct?
Easy to assume

but not necessarily what will happen. It depends on the reaction from the people in Texas (attendance and media money) as well as the financial decisions of the new owners.

Media money = $1.5 billion

Financial decisons = spend shitloads of money

Still it is more than likely to happen.

The Yankees are going to be good no matter what. The jury is still out on wither the Rangers will have sustained success but going to the World Series will do nothing but help them with that.

Well, you have nothing to worry about

Because the Yankees will take the Rangers like Walmart crushes the local corner store.

Yet I still spitefully hate their closest rivals
The Yankees have won the AL pennant like 40 times and at least 6 times in your lifetime.

The Rangers are one of two teams beside the Mariners to never have been to the World Series. I would much rather a team that has always won and will always win than being one of the two most futile teams in baseball history.

The Mariners need to be best at something.

Being best at being futile sounds like something.

No that's called being the worst.
That actually sounds really shitty
That sums up the Mariner's 2010, that's for sure.
The Rangers are in the M's division, the Yankees are not.

The Yankess will be rich no matter what, but the longer the Rangers stay in the playoffs the more money the team makes.

Tell that to the Marlins
The Marlins don't reinvest their money into the team. The Rangers will.
And if you want the proof, the Rangers already invest in the team now, they just don't have any money to do it with

and now with a new ownership group, they will likely continue to invest all available capital into the team

Only a battle tested field general that is wholly Jeterian gets that pussy hit right there
Giants gonna get it done
The LL Giants bandwagon is my way of proving that LL does not actually blindly follow whatever Jeff and Matthew want
I'm pretty sure they want you to think that
I'm pretty sure Jeff is rooting for the Giants
After what I did to Matthew with the Giants in BMO there is no way that he bandwagons them
Some tatted-up meth addict is pitching for the Twins
Bases loaded for A-Rod, what could possibly go wrong?
What was A Rod doing on that third strike?

Did he forget there was only one out?

I woul'd have been happier with that outcome if I had more confidence in the Twins' offense.

They needed Morneau, badly.

Time for Minnesota to leave the bases loaded
Being a Twins fan

would be like being a M’s fan, except even more frustrating because they are in the playoffs more often.

I think that's the opposite.
but when they get to the playoffs, they lose. Which isn't the opposite.
Being a Twins fan

would be like being a M’s fan, except even more frustrating better they are in the playoffs more often

- what joof was saying

But that isn't what I was saying.

I guess I didn’t say it very well.

Except when they won the World Series twice.
I don't think that's how the making the playoffs works
Delmon Young plays LF the way I figure Jose Lopez would play LF
Probably should've scored runs THIS inning guys
From Twitter:
JaymeeSireCSN – Tomorrow’s #Braves SP Tommy Hanson fouled a ball off the plate during BP that bounced up and hit him in eye. Immediately walked off field.
Rub some dirt on it kid, you got another eye
NL baseball just lowered the braves chances of winning.
Remind me again why people think the DH is a bad idea?
Not enough purity
It reminds us of the olden times?
Because batting practice eye injuries in the playoffs build character.
Keeps the leagues different

reducing the bizarro games that Bud can play with the divisions and the number of teams in the playoffs.

Like putting six teams in the NL central?
Yeah, exactly.

Oh, wait.

Bud doesn't play games. He declares them a tie.
Why should half of the teams in Major League Baseball play by a completely set of different rules than the other?

it is like if the Western Conference played with a three point line and the Eastern Conference did not

Time for a grand slam off Mariano.
GEE I WONDER WHO IS GOING TO PITCH RIGHT NOW?
Fangraphs shows the Twins with a 5 percent chance

going into the bottom of the 9th, down by 3? Surprises me it is that high.

Or maybe that is just because I watch the M’s.

We're a critical hit away from Victory!
OL JIM JAM'S GONNA TIE IT UP
Watch out for the cutter.
WHAT DID I SAY?
You are some kind of sorceror.
I hate the Yankees so fucking much.
Curious strike zone.
Well, looks like setting uniforms on fire didn't work.
When did we set the Mariners uniforms on fire?

Bummed I missed that.

MLB let the Twins build a stadium without a roof as long as they were forced to play the Yankees in the first round every year.
After they let them not get dissolved in contraction

Stupid MLB.

God I'm tired of the fucking Yankees. Eat shit you fucking cunts.

Winning all the time is boring.

Losing all the time is also boring!
No argument there.
Oh well, now the important series starts

Shit’s about to get real.

I can't wait for the season premiere of Glory Daze!
A show about guys drinking in college! Where did they come up with such a unique idea!?
Robin Williams?

Uhhh ok.

You're fucking kidding me.

The one series I really am interested in and fucking Chris “backbackbackbackbackback” Berman is the announcer? Boooooooo.

I think that's Dick Stockton.

Unless Berman is doing the game on radio.

It is the radio side-
How can you hate Boomer?

He’s like a big dumb puppy!

I think he's fine when talking about football or whatever but when he announces it's just not compelling-I lose track of what's going on.
I'm just glad to be rid of the Yankees/Twins crew.
On the radio it's Jon so awesome Miller and Orel Hershiser.
Shouldn't they be doing this series?
THAT"S WHAT I SAID! God, I'd be pissed if I was Jon Miller.
The chin strap beard doesn't make your face look more angular if you have a fat chin/neck zone
Four in a row!
Eight swinging strikes in this inning!
FIVE IN A ROW

Good lord.

NINE SWINGING STRIKES IN A ONE-TWO-THREE INNING!!!
Holy crap Lincecum is on fire.
He's so awesome.
Lincecum's dealing.
K K K K K Popup K Chopper to the Mound
Timmy isn't such a good hitter
ROSS YOU TWAT
That's just terrible

that’s a play Jose Lopez would have made

Jason Heyward as a 20 year old rookie had a 91/128 BB/K

Unbelievable.

I still can't believe we didn't draft this guy
I bet we'd have gotten like... Joakim Soria for him instead of that dumbass hawaiian.
Verducci is boring the tits off me.
I suppose I should thank him.
I don't like you as much when youre bored
The Giants should put names on the backs of their jerseys, in my opinion
So how did KJR manage to pick up the games? Was ESPN that pissed at how 710 dicked them yesterday?

Also, there are a lot of good #1 starters in this series.

Buster Posey is such a great name-but sounds old like he should be 75 instead of 23.
Posey is lucky he didn't break his leg on that slide. Damn.
If he werent a baseball player Lincecum would surely be a goth
Nah, just a stoner working at Bell Square
Pity. He'd make a fantastic goth
He'd really have to work on his haircut
He's Mitch from Dazed and Confused.
Yes that's NOW because he's a professional baseball player
I think you're over-thinking this. He's totally a snowboarder/skateboarder type.

Not a counter-culture stereotype people want to project him as sans MLB career

Posey runs fast for a catcher
Derek Lowe's cap looks like a cheap one-size-fits-all one you'd get at Target.
Good play by Ankiel.
The dive was a little awkward no?
We're not all born graceful. He did good to get over there and hold on with the sketchy landing
The broadcast just informed us that Aubrey Huff is wearing a red thong.
And then a wistful

“well I’m just glad the Giants don’t wear see through pants”


…“Or am I?”

It's still better than the Yankees-Twins broadcasters.
Watching Derek Lowe face Tim Lincecum is what makes the NL so special
But but but the double switch!
The double switch is lame. We even had a DH in high school
Yeah. I was trying for devil's advocate. Satan isn't very strong.
Oh I know, I just really do hate all that double switching
Lincecum is pitching rather fancily these days

changing speeds on his fastball, missing by tiny tiny margins, cutters n shit. It’s cool that, even though he isn’t throwing 96 anymore he still makes guys look real stupid

He's always hidden the ball so well. You don't see it until it's right on top of you.

He might as well throw 200mph when he’s on

With Heyward up, was the SF crowd just chanting "Posey's better?"
I rinsed out this glass after drinking a bloody mary so I could put a beer in it but there's still a teensy bit of horseradish floating around in there

It’s kind of bothering me

That's an unfortunate time for a "this is beyond red-hot" commercial
On second thought, Glory Daze looks like it will suck really bad
Lincecum can be pretty fucking impressive sometimes
World Series appearances are a consideration in HoF voting

Eric Hinske has been in 3 World Series.

{dead meme about Tim Lincecum's draft availability}

Good grief, he is just dominant. What a wealth of top pitching talent we’re living in with Felix, Lincecum, Criff Ree, Halladay, Sabathia…

Awesome performance.
Little Timmy Lincecum from Bellevue threw a CG shutout in the playoffs
Wow, way to dominate Timmy
31 swinging strikes. 31.
What a soft pussy
9 swinging strikes in the 2nd inning for Timmy????

That’s the greatest inning I’ve ever seen.

October baseball gives me an erection.

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