M's Hire Custodian To Clean Offensive Mess
Jack Given Custody Of DH Slot
Customization Of New Lineup Begins With Left-Handed Bat
Mariners Tab Customary Slugger To Solve Offensive Woes
New DH Ac-Customed To Driving In Runs
Masher Dis-Cust As M's Make Move
Stuffed Cust: Mariners Inject Different Flavor Into Middle Of Lineup
With Addition, M's Aim To Establish Interla-Custrine Kingdom
4 recs | 96 comments
Headline in August: "DH's Production Has Been Dis-Custing"
c_dowley - December 8, 2010
Frustrated Mariners Fans Learn to Cust?
Bearskin Rugburn - December 8, 2010
Athletics Dis-Cust-ed as DH Signs with Division Rival
marc w - December 8, 2010
Divish beat you to that pun.
Eyebrows - December 8, 2010 via mobile
"Rival"
LeftArrow2 - December 8, 2010
Awww damn it
marc w - December 8, 2010 via mobile
Apparently we also got his brother
Report: Jake Cust agrees with Mariners
ralphie81 - December 8, 2010
Dah, they fixed it.
Thank goodness Jeff captured it.
ralphie81 - December 8, 2010
Pretty quick thinking on Jeff's part
Hit print screen Cust in time.
Eyeball Kid - December 8, 2010 via mobile
Jack Z, amid job security tensions, signs left handed bat in what is considered Cust-ers last stand
tsunamijesus - December 8, 2010
Made that one earlier.
thehemogoblin - December 8, 2010
This is going to be the worst comments thread ever.
Teej - December 8, 2010
My vote is for the greatest.
Eyebrows - December 8, 2010 via mobile
I miss Bryan LaHair.
morrow - December 8, 2010
These are terrible. Please stop the punishment.
But I really love that you sat down to really hash out the possibilities. Do puns have a long history in baseball headlines, or is this a recent Cust-om?
doublemazaa - December 8, 2010
At least I don't have to cust my wrists now
aussie_chop - December 8, 2010
My favorite part about this post is how much it pained you to write it.
.Taylor - December 8, 2010
Mariners Hoping to Grow Ac-Customed to Offense
scout6 - December 8, 2010
tshaw. Beat me to it.
msb - December 8, 2010
Mariners sign baseball player Jack Cust
Teej - December 8, 2010
You discust me.
doublemazaa - December 8, 2010
You spelled disgust wrong.
Robert - December 8, 2010
Mariners DH taken into custody after assaulting the Moose...
MangoLiger - December 8, 2010
I think we broke him guys...
BigR - December 8, 2010
He keeps breaking.
Clowns became fair game earlier in the year.
JY - December 8, 2010
Jack Cust Milton Bradley his job.
ThundaPC - December 8, 2010
I love this.
NeighborTom2 - December 8, 2010
Sounds like they might have a custic relationship.
Big Jared - December 8, 2010
I hope he avoids getting a concustion.
EequalsMc2 - December 8, 2010
In Jack We Cust!
Zack - December 8, 2010
Dear God
Charles Gipson - December 8, 2010
This will go on a while.
You should probably step away from the computer.
Maybe get some frozen custard?
doublemazaa - December 8, 2010
Mariner's offense Jacked.
NeighborTom2 - December 8, 2010
We all knew it take more than some Cust-omizing
juridec - December 8, 2010
Nice!
NeighborTom2 - December 8, 2010
Way to take it in a different direction
I like the way you think
appleshampoo - December 9, 2010
Looking for more Jacks; M's sign Cust.
kentroyals5 - December 8, 2010
Time to jack off.
Kenneth Arthur - December 8, 2010
On another note, we should do a puns thread.
Kenneth Arthur - December 8, 2010
No, we really shouldn't
Aaron Campeau - December 8, 2010
I'm hoping Jeff plans on banning everyone posting puns here.
the other side - December 8, 2010
That was a two-part joke, not a serious suggestion
Jeff Sullivan - December 8, 2010
I get it!
CapSea - December 9, 2010
This Saunders like a bad idea.
perfectstrat - December 8, 2010
Please, I can't take any Moore of this.
baetown415 - December 9, 2010
Masturbation jokes are like an instant rec from me
appleshampoo - December 9, 2010
Mariners lose 2-1, sink to 60-100.
Robert - December 8, 2010
We're losing the off season too?
the other side - December 8, 2010
mariners DH spot under new Custody.
HD - December 8, 2010
Come on that's like the third on my list
Jeff Sullivan - December 8, 2010
Aaaahhhhh
Aaron Campeau - December 8, 2010
Signing take Mariners to the Cust of greatness
Trenchtown - December 8, 2010
M's Fit Slugger into Pro-Cust-ean Payroll;
May Need Additional Cuts (Cust?) to Add More
JY - December 8, 2010
Mariners outfielder lost at sea
Rescue workers fear the search may be a sunk Cust.
Mariner John - December 8, 2010
So far the search has turned up nothing but Custaceans.
Eyeball Kid - December 8, 2010 via mobile
Custodian to bat clean-up
Like Jeff’s, but better.
thehemogoblin - December 8, 2010
Custy Day: Mariners Slugger Hits Three Wind-Aided Homers
seattlebruin - December 8, 2010
Not Making Custer
Mariners release enigmatic veteran
seattlebruin - December 8, 2010
Milton Bradley deemed unCustworthy
Mariners bring in new DH.
Eyeball Kid - December 8, 2010 via mobile
Having tried the 'annoy the team into submission' strategy
and deemed it a huge failure in 2010, the Mariners abandon their lo-Cust strategy to fit into the Cust-omary AL team format by signing a DH with an affinity for walks and wallops!
TWOFER!
tsunamijesus - December 8, 2010
Your 2-3-4 hitters:
Dust, Just, and Cust
FairWeatherFred - December 8, 2010
New idea for M's offseason commercials.
Cooking class! Today’s Topic: Custard!
perfectstrat - December 8, 2010
So Smoak's commercial will have him making smoked salmon?
seattlebruin - December 8, 2010
Ichiro makes an Ichiroll!
seattlebruin - December 8, 2010
Guti cooks and eats a turtle!
seattlebruin - December 8, 2010
.
seattlebruin - December 8, 2010
Rob Johnson proves you can't make an omelette without cracking a few eggs
on the floor of your kitchen because they get all slippery once the first one you break gets all over your hands and you tried to get another but now there’s shell in the bowl and damnit another one on the ground and whoopsy your toddler just slipped in the puddle of broken eggs and his head made a resounding thud against the linoleum.
abender20 - December 8, 2010
You shouldn't have Cust around your toddler.
$cHu - December 8, 2010
Luke French makes mustard!
Nick S - December 8, 2010
Mike Carp cooks himself!
BW Kropotkin - December 9, 2010
What will Ackley be Dustin off today?
perfectstrat - December 8, 2010
Fig Newtons?
This one’s got to be overused.
perfectstrat - December 8, 2010
I am so happy this caught on
Nick S - December 8, 2010
"Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack"
Shoot me now. No really. Do it.
perfectstrat - December 8, 2010
Before I leave I puke up tequila and glitter
Seems I’m starting every day with my head in the shitter
appleshampoo - December 9, 2010
What a custerfuck this turned out to be.
TrustBaseball - December 8, 2010
Shhhhhhocking.
Mariner John - December 8, 2010
Anagram for Jack Cust is
Tjuc Sack. Ok, I got nothing.
Bart's Evil Twin - December 8, 2010
I hope he customizes many an opposing pitcher.
Big Jared - December 8, 2010
God now I can't even LOOK at his name anymore.
Thanks everyone. Now if you will excuse me, it is time for my Customary ‘drink myself stupid’ moment. Except I need to go be a Customer at the grocery store due to a lack of beer… but that might cust too much.
Kevman22 - December 8, 2010
Most Mariners games will have at least one Cust Stanza
Gihyou - December 8, 2010
If he comes to bat in the 9th it might very well be Cust's last stand
Nick S - December 8, 2010
Man, if our DH doesn't produce this year
He’ll definitely be getting cust out
BQueezy - December 8, 2010
For the sake of the clubhouse, I hope he's not a big Cunt
Teej - December 9, 2010
-inuing source of inspiration
Robert - December 9, 2010
See, now this is fun
JamMasterJesus - December 9, 2010
Jack loves eating Cust-ard
Jose Lopez's swing - December 9, 2010
Lookout Landing reacts to the signing of a new player.
Step one: Rumor confirmed, name checked at baseball reference or fangraphs.
Step two: Terms of deal analyzed, in terms of cash, years, and roster spaPUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS
Step three: PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS
SeattExPat - December 9, 2010
ExAckley.
MT Olson - December 9, 2010
They do seem to Flores here.
msb - December 9, 2010
It's a Rivero of puns around here.
c_dowley - December 9, 2010
Step 4 is putting his name in an anagram machine so we can come up with silly nicknames for him
tootthekazoo - December 9, 2010
Maybe this one is new: On July 31
Cust traded, offense loses long balls
fiftyone - December 9, 2010 via mobile
I support internment camps for this offense against nature and polite society
lemonverbena - December 9, 2010
Bitchass Bitch to play for big ol Bitch baseBitch team
Bitchface team exec calls move “Bitchin”
Dewey N - December 9, 2010
Trust Cust or Bust
Kouvre - December 9, 2010
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