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No

The Mariners should not sign Elijah Dukes.

4 recs  |  57 comments

Comments

You're no fun
But think of the possibilities!

With Dukes and Bradley on the same team, no pitcher would ever throw at a Mariner intentionally (and live).

They'd be the new Bash Brothers!

Mighty Ducks 2 style, not A’s style.

Does that mean that

Scene
ALCS: Jack Wilson colllides with Jorge Posada, jarring the ball loose and scoring. E. Dukes and M. Bradley engage him in a three way high five.

 Announcer: "What’s this? A third bash brother? "

hilarity ensues, Emilio Estevez gets the girl, and his brother gets a gravy boat of cocaine.

A three way high five would make for an interesting Eiffel Tower during the playoffs.
No Cliff Lee would get the girl

He would be that cowboy guy who lassos people that try to check her

But ... he is "a player brimming with potential yet haunted by a controversial past"!
But does he have health issues?
I suppose I could have linked that quote

like this

Dukes is really, really fast right?
3.8 Speed Score Last year

4.6 his 3 seasons

Must have been thinking of some other Nationals OF.
Nyjer Morgan or Willie Harris maybe.
For a 240 pound guy? Yes.
I first read this as Eliza Dushku

Not sure why.

If it were Eliza Dushku, Jeff's post would have been titled "Yes"
This is a no brainer.

If you thought Griffey was a good influence….

How would she be for club house chemistry?
As long as she's naked, who cares?
I don't think Jeff would want her around the likes of RR-S, Mark Lowe, Brandon League or Rob Johnson.

Also it was just a first read thing.

I can't imagine Rob Johnson has much game.
Those are guys you have to watch out for. They're all, you look cold can I bring a blanket.
This reminds me of Achewood so much.

It’s like something Roast Beef would say. Therefore, you get a rec.

R Johnson...doesn't need game.
Could she bring along Brad Penny?
Oh, that is soooooo over.
I will quit the Mariners forever if they don't sign Elijah Dukes and Daniel Cabrera today.
The Seahawks will trade Aaron Curry for Daniel Cabrera before the day is done.
This team needs to trade for/sign all the assholes in the league,

have Griffey and Ichiro tickle them into a 120-130 OPS+, then once the league sees something good in the players, trade them for way more than what they’re worth, and rinse/repeat the cycle.

They’ll never lose!

Is it mainly because his attitude problems outweigh his talent?

Or just that he sucks?

He's been a league-average player with injury, attitude, and development issues

He has a place, but it’s not on a team that intends to contend in 2010 and already has too many outfielders as is.

Because Washington State can't afford that many unmarried mothers?

Though maybe some of them will contribute to another glut of outfielders twenty years from now.

Maybe not a perfect fit for Seattle because they already have so many LF/DH options

But he’s way too talented to be written off because of his past. Nobody is even sure why the Nationals released him, and this is a guy who was worth 2.8 WAR in only 81 games with Washington in 2008.

Yeah, he’s probably not a ~6 WAR outfielder, but you don’t play that well for a half-season by accident. Somebody’s gotta give him a shot.

He definitely belongs somewhere

Seattle just isn’t it. Righty? Injury-prone? Defensively mediocre? Not nearly enough upside over the current crop to justify the risk.

Padres?
Blanks, Hairston, Gwynn, Venable, Cunningham

They’re booked.

Has that stopped them before, of late?
I guess he could sign a minor league contract

but uh there are better options.

Thank goodness for the outfield depth the Nationals have acquired over the years.
Michael Morese, woot!
Neyer

has a blog post about it

And nails it
But you know what? Dukes turns 26 this summer. In roughly two seasons of plate appearances, he’s been slightly better than (National League) average as a hitter, but slightly below average for a corner outfielder. His defense seems to be getting worse. His baserunning cost the Nationals roughly 10 runs last season.
Your new Kansas City opening day centerfielder!
Hasn't made a stop here yet..
Walks too much.
Rick Ankiel?
BUT I WANT HIM. I need this in my life.
Hey, dawg. It’s on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain’t even bulls———-. Your kids too, dawg. It don’t even matter to me who is in the car with you. N——-, all I know is, n——-, when I see your m——-f———- a— riding, dawg, it’s on. As a matter of fact, I’m coming to your m——-f——— house.
Yo Dawg, we heard you like threats...

So we put some additional threats in your threats so you can intimidate while you intimidate

I think we should start calling him Elijah David Dukes
Elijah Daisy Dukes and see how long until he kills you.
So you think Byrnes is better than Dukes?

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