Spring Training is back in action and that means that roughly 80 or so players will be down in Arizona stretching, tanning, playing golf and occasionally playing some baseball while furiously scanning the crowd for ASU sorority girls to party with later that night.
At least, that's what the players with talent will be doing. The other 40 players will be doing their untalented damnedest to impress a coach with their picture perfect bunting mechanics, constant hustle and ability to get some hits off pitchers like Jim Parque and a bunch of fielders who are too busy scanning the crowd for ASU sorority girls to play defense.
None of this would irk me if there weren't people being paid to write about baseball. Unfortunately those people feel the compulsion to justify their paychecks by actually producing content unlike myself who is neither paid nor care about writing except when I feel like it.
The problem is, there's very little in the way of actually important events during Spring Training and yet all these stories and internet column inches need to be filled. Which leads us to the Spring Training fluff pieces. Honestly, if writers just started recycling their Spring Training articles from last year only with the names changed, a la Jeff's World Series preview, I am reasonably confident that nobody would notice. And anyone that would notice wouldn't care. And anyone that would care doesn't matter because they care about Spring Training stories. Get a hobby or something, yeesh.
Normally I just shrug off this whole farce and continue following more important things like hockey and the current wetness of some recently applied wall paint, but this year I decided to make a game of it on pure whim. So I created a buzzphrase bingo card for media fluff pieces. This has almost certainly been done before but a cursory web search that I did to try and find one that I could rip off proved unsuccessful. You could prove me wrong by finding one yourself but then you will have spent time searching the internet for a fake bingo card about Spring Training articles in order to show up somebody on the internet that you have never met, so really, I think I'll come out ahead here.
Anyways, here you go. Feel free to link to stories in the comments containing one of the sought after phrases. How long until we can blank out the whole card?
7 recs | 18 comments
Okee... Here's Off to a Fast Start
Link 1 and Link 2
CapSea - March 5, 2010
Hitting to All Fields
Link
CapSea - March 5, 2010
BINGO! Diagionally.
Turning Heads
Off to a fast start
Best shape of his career
Working on a new pitch
Stealing bases
SethGrandpa - March 5, 2010
This deserves a mobile rec!
appleshampoo - March 5, 2010 via mobile
That's a Bingo!
Slurvey - March 5, 2010
Best shape in his career? hmm....
And yes, they said Jenks was in the best shape of his career, not Putz

Trenchtown - March 5, 2010
Sadly for Jenks
It looks to be true
wandergeist - March 6, 2010
The best way to change the atmosphere in the clubhouse is to bring in a bunch of players with tools.
That way there’s a good chance that one of them will have the right stuff to make sure the ventilation system in the bathrooms is working properly.
Steve Nelson - March 5, 2010
My fatass had to do a google search to findout what P90X was.
Goose - March 5, 2010
I only knew because of the ESPN radio ads
and B. Huard talking about it.
msb - March 5, 2010
.
P90X
Fin - March 5, 2010
Also,
Here is a wikipedia article.
Fin - March 5, 2010
Here's one:
LASIK
abelard - March 5, 2010
I'm not sure if anybody wants to change the atmosphere in the dugout...
… the only person I could see making a comment like that would be Milton.
srm07 - March 5, 2010
My favorite is the semi-annual 4 win groundskeeper story.
Kermit. - March 5, 2010
Another
Redeem himself
andrewgolfsalot - March 5, 2010
Okay fine. Bingo. Left to right.
Rockies left-hander Greg Smith “is finally healthy after battling illnesses and back spasms last year.”
Braves Leftfielder Matt Diaz would like to thank “P90X” for his slimmer look.
A St. Louis reporter believes the Cardinals might keep two right-handed backup leftfielders if they follow the “best 25 players go north rule.”
Pirates Pitcher Charlie Morton really believes in coming together as a team. He said to one reporter that “Now it’s a matter of how quickly we can come together as a team” and then was feeling a little more optimistic when he said in another interview“I think we are going to come together as a team.”
“When the Dodgers obtained Rafael Furcal after the 2005 season, he could steal bases at will though he didn’t have a good success rate.” So what does that say about his will? Rajai Davis could steal 75-80 bases this year, but not if he puts his mind to it. Rather, he merely needs “the determination to not be afraid of being thrown out.”
Attractive Nuisance - March 6, 2010
You left out my most hated story
The story that gets played every spring that I absolutely can’t stand is “Which of our near replacement level starting pitchers will get the all important 5th spot in the rotation? You know, the guy we’re planning to skip as often a we can?”
Really? We worried about the relative merits of two guys with a projected tRA+ of 75? The only story I ever want to hear about the fifth spot in the rotation is about how it’s great to have a team with 5 guys that are actually good enough to be clear choices for the rotation.
philosofool - March 7, 2010
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