Lookout Landing

creepy

a restraining order waiting to happen

laxtonto - April 14, 2010 reply

Approves

Aldo!

You should watch him feast...

He’s like a MANTIS.

Tommy Everidge is playing 3B. I'd like to see that.

Ahahahahahahahaha

MILTON!

I'd be more satisfied about us knocking Gio out of the game if the A's didn't have such a good bullpen

Hahahahahaha Garret Olson

What happened?

Apparently he's been good in Tacoma.

Yuck.

Two games though.

Hasn’t walked anyone yet though.

JY - April 14, 2010 reply

As much as I hate him.

I do think we need a LHP in our bullpen at some point.

Whether Vargas stays after Lee and Bedard come active or Olson.

I never want to see Garrett Olson pitch for the M's again.

He was featured on "Building to the Future"

Good numbers in 2 games.

He's always performed in the minors.

Just can’t fucking do it up in the Majors.

Byrnes.

DO SOMETHING.

This ump has been awesome tonight

Now would be a good time for Langerhans

Or whatever

So what's up with the back of our rotation suddenly being effective?

.Taylor - April 14, 2010 reply

Being in Safeco helps when our back rotation is ally flyball pitchers.

Benne - April 14, 2010 reply

And of course are on the side of the Allies.

Benne - April 14, 2010 reply

TAKE TAKE TAKE

Yes let Tui come up.

Walk a walk a

Good eye wacko

I need a hero!

Leanna - April 14, 2010 reply

TUI TUI TUI!

TUI

resurrect_ha28 - April 14, 2010 reply

Byrnes walk!

CMON TUI

Blow this wide open.

BYRNES BEING SMART

WOAH

Tui!

I don’t distrust you!

Bases loaded.

HELLZ YEAH.

WALKS ALL UP IN HERE

QUICK BLOWERS PREDICT A GRAND SLAM

Crystal for DH - April 14, 2010 reply

I love walks.

BLOWERS CALL PLEASE

Eric Byrnes is being productive.

I'm pretty sure Byrnes has not swung at a pitch yet

I approve of this approach

TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE

Tui time!

Be our hero!

Let Gaudin throw that JUNK

If he chases something out of the zone

I’m gonna scream

NERVOUS

COMMMMME ON TUI RIGHT DOWN THE PLATEEEEE!

That looked high.

Guy has a good approach.

I mean, I'm used to Kenji, Yuni, and Jose swinging away at everything.

Really?

Yeah.

The bases being loaded and five straight balls might have had something to do with it

It goes beyond his most recent plate appearance.

Throw that 1-1 pitch again!

Crystal for DH - April 14, 2010 reply

God Suzuki is good.

"Suzuki's made a career"

No he hasn’t. Not yet.

BAH OFFSPEED

D'oh

Crystal for DH - April 14, 2010 reply

WHYYYYYYYYYY

At least we are not losing

My god. The 2nd strike was such a meatball.

Well shit.

:( :( :( :( :(

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

nasty slider

chenster - April 14, 2010 reply

Tui :(

Well, at least we have Milton

Why didn't Wak PH Kotchman there?

Belief system

Pinch hitting is stupid

Especially for not terrible hitters

Just out of curiosity, is the PH penalty offset in general by the diffrence between

say a pitcher hitting and your typical NL PH?

More than. Pitchers are sooooooooo bad

Except Felix.

He routinely hits grand slams off of Cy Young caliber pitchers.

Matt Erickson - April 14, 2010 reply

With meh hitters

Can't do it.

Tui is the only other backup infielder on the roster.

MFAN - April 14, 2010 reply

God we need Jack Hannahan back

THANK YOU MIKE SWEENEY

I suppose asking for more than two runs was pushing it.

Pinch hitting Kotchman there seems like a good idea to me.

Apparently as part of Milton Bradley Redemption Week only Milton can knock home runs

Gaudin is death to right handed batters.

AT LEAST WE HAVE MILTON!!!!

THANKS BUD.

Definitely! GO UNCLE MILTY!

I wonder how family get togethers are at his house.

I don't think Milton would like being called Uncle anything

Daddy?

I think we should pinch hit every at bat...

Welcome to the first time the lineup worked something like it's supposed to.

Except for maybe the first game.

Fucking MLB UMPS.

kevin_ess - April 14, 2010 reply

Hasn't been that bad.

That I have noticed.

15,978 people at Safeco.

Sounds about right for a Tuesday game in April.

Its Wednesday.

Therefore, no excuse.

What about for a Wednesday game?

Oops, I dropped the ball.

Forget to tear off the Tuesday page on my calendar, sorry.

I bet this game never ends!

Yuni special!

I realize that stranding baserunners is bad but... BASERUNNERS! we weren't even doing that before!

Progress!

Slumps are bad, mmk.

We have walked five times and the A's have walked not at all.

JY - April 14, 2010 reply

Bizarro Baseball

Last name Bradley first name GREATEST

Last name EVER

Jesus Gutierrez makes everything look easy.

His brother Franklin does as well

I laughed.

You should feel ashamed

I laughed too.

Then I should feel ashamed

Low-hanging fruit

Ya got me!

That was a really weird way to say .com

Yes let the defense do it's job

Thanks Oakland

That was terrifying

I saw the sign.

YAY! Big view of our sign.!

I was wondering what the banner looked like

Frightening.

And Vargas just regained his confidence

God that was close

Hey by the way what happened to Rally Fries?

Shhhhh!

Hopefully they are behind us.

TrashiDawa - April 14, 2010 reply

My Bad

Let's just not worry about it and enjoy it

It died the unsavory death it so rightfully deserved

But they taste so good.

Granted, after eating them it feels like you need a shower but they still taste great

Don't you mean savory?

Taken out back and shot if there's a God in heaven

I liked Rally Fries in theory.

In practice, the rewarding of addle-brained “creativity” irked me.

At least they smell delicious. Garlic should be it's own food group.

In practice annoyingly awarding them every game got annoying

I loved it in 2007.

That, and inexplicably giving them out when the

other team was batting.

And while we were ahead.

In the back of Nick Adenhart's car.

Tasteless

Are you new here?

Yes

What am I missing? Please tell

funny jokes are funny

Not funny to me

Don’t see why I can’t voice that if everyone else can voice that it’s just a “joke.” I’m not that offended, but I don’t see why I can’t say otherwise.

Don't be offended?

Wrong

not everyone has the same sensibilities. If it offends you, you don’t have an obligation to comment on it

I dunno.

More things used to offend me more than they do now. Sometimes it’s good to re-evaluate what it is that makes you offended. If you can’t find a good reason, maybe it’s stupid to be offended.

Fair as well, but around LL, it's OK to be offended

like I said, if you don’t find it funny and it’s not actively hurting the site, ignore it

Works for me.

I'll be sure next time to say...

Tasteless and funny… just to appease the others sensibilities… win-win?

I don't think anybody wants you to lie.

Especially not to appease the teeming masses of lunatics.

I don't really see it as lying

I don’t want to argue with people whether I was actually offended or not… I just made a one word comment…

I just want to make it clear I’m not that offended, I just didn’t find it in good taste. Clearly, some people disagree, which is fine. I’ll leave it at that

Generally, if you don't find it funny, then you ignore it.

I get yelled at when I'm not funny

Well yeah, but that's when it's painfully unfunny.

Not funny and offensive is a bad combination

Funny and offensive is funny.

A joke that a woman should wear less clothes on a predominantly male board

Should not offend people.

That doesn't make it funny.

The sheer simplicity of it was offensive

It does if it's not witty in some way

We enforce a tougher line on sex jokes

They degenerate really fast into shitty comments

Fair enough.

See: Corco

I AM OUTRAGED.

Okay here's a list of things wrong with this attitude.

1) Not a board!
2) The base demographics shouldn’t matter. There are women here, whether or not they’re the minority or not is irrelevant.
3) Offensive isn’t funny when a a large segment of the population shares the sentiment. You’ve got to go way, way over the top to reach the comfort zone, unless you’re well established enough that people know it’s not serious.
4) It didn’t offend anyone as much as it was retarded, not funny and (and this is the most important thing about tis entire response) hackneyed.
5) The community sets the standards as to what is and what is not acceptable, with the mods obviously having veto power. You were outvoted. Get over it.

You seem really intolerant of new posters.

I’ve seen you talk in condescending tones to other newbies as well. Get over yourself.

This isn't helping you.

GOD STOP

Watch yourself.

This subthread is closed.

Seriously, what the fuck

It's not about intolerance at all

It’s about maintaining LL and making sure it stays the best damned sports site on the web.

I understand that.

But there’s a certain way you can go about explaining things. See: Matthew. Acblue is just straight up rude.

And I'm done.

Of new posters who make unfunny chauvanistic comments?

Yes.

Apply the goddamned rules.

kevin_ess - April 14, 2010 reply

I am intolerent of people that suck.

I don’t give a rusty fuck how new they are.

There's a decent game going on guys...

Speaking as someone who's not a huge fan of acblue...

He gets to say these things because he cares about Lookout Landing, has been around for a long, long time, and wants to maintain its dignity and overall quality. And you, in turn, get to respect him. Sound good?

.Taylor - April 14, 2010 reply

Taylor, I know you mean well but Matthew closed this subthread a while ago

That's because you're pathetic.

I never liked Bucky Jacobsen

That's too bad.

Bucky Jacobsen is also pathetic—sounds like you two would have a lot in common.

Not really necessary to pile on here

Is it ever necessary?

Depends how big you like your orgies I suppose

And that depends on how much whipped cream

and vegetable oil is on hand.

I'd call that more group sex than an orgy.

There's a difference?

I believe the difference is all bets are off in an orgy while group sex has groundrules.

I've always thought of an orgy as a bunch of couples having sex at the same place and time.

Whereas group sex is, group sex.

I wiki'd it

An orgy is a form of group sex

Did that come with external links?

You're gonna love the pictures that come with it

Woah, shit. A link to the worlds largest orgy.

Man, I'd hate to be the guy who's late to that orgy.

Poor guy probably had to sit in the corner and jerk it

I think being the first person there would be worse

Especially if you were a guy

and the second person was a guy too. Awkward

Then again, if it's such

a huge one, he could probably just sneak in through the back.

So are you offically a part of the orgy when you engage in any type of intercourse?

Or can you just, like, stand around and rub people’s backs or something?

Run out and towel off any wet spots?

I imagine you're still part of it.

But it’s kind of like how Eric Hinske was technically part of the 2009 yankees.

Gotta finish to count?

Exactly.

There goes my sex-cred.

Aw.

I imagined it as just the opposite

Other way around, isn't it?

Nah. They're pretty much the same.

Because that's not how it works

sometimes posters post offensive things. Leave it alone if you don’t find it funny.

If you're going to be sensitive this is probably not the place for you

Not sensitive

Just don’t see why I can’t post my opinion either…

I’ve accepted it now… doesn’t mean I have to shut up

Your opinion is oversensitive in the context of humor

And in doing so serves only to kill humor, which is not really what we want here. If you don’t find the jokes funny, fine, but don’t bitch.

Or I can just post otherwise

And we’ll leave it at that

Or you could leave it alone and not be a little fucking nancy

Textbook.

You must be new...

krb - April 14, 2010 reply

But quite funny.

The joke or the fries?

MFAN - April 14, 2010 reply

No, rally fries taste pretty good actually.

Much like the fries!

Totally wrong.

Fries + garlic + apple slices = yum.

Rally Fries are plain, I thought

Are they really?

I’ve always assumed they were garlic fries. If they’re just handing out normal french fries, that’s bullshit.

Pretty sure they're normal

Me too-I thought it started when that guy dumped his garlic fries cheering.

Apples? Interesting. I must try.

One assumes they're there to cleanse your palate after you eat the fries,

but they arrive about as garlic-covered as the fries themselves…

No. Just no.

It's fine

Phew.

Eh.

I agree, Adenhart jokes should be off-limits.

We should be onto Chinese earthquake jokes by now. Gotta keep shit fresh.

Or at least reserved for great moments

I still thought my Mark Lowe jersey comment was way more awesome than it got credit for

What was it?

http://www.lookoutlanding.com/2009/10/4/1069283/85-77-closing-game-thoughts#22311579

This

Look who's trolling for recs now

I am!

Look at me!

rec'd

No chatspeak!

Since when!?

Fucking recommended!

Better?

You tend to have a lot of comments like that

for example, Shift Key

Felix's curve drops like a Polish airplane.

That plane crash really was the world's worst Polish joke ever.

Is a "Cory Lidle teaches Polish pilots how to fly" joke too old or too new?

It's funky and fresh. Needs to be better delivered, though.

You betcha

You're right

They ended up through the back of Nick Adenhart when he hit that pole.

Wow. Great inning. Go Vargas.

Two deep fly balls hardly constitutes a great inning

David Aardsma says you're wrong and that you know nothing about baseball, Nerd.

Boy I hope these Snoqualmie commercials aren't here to stay the entire season

Thank god for MLB.tv

MLB.tv makes my life significantly better.

ty540 - April 14, 2010 reply

I have good news for you!

They're not?

They are!

I'm pretty sure that's the opposite of good news!

You must be new here

No just way too gullible

Would you like to buy a bridge?

Would I ever!

Why yes! Where is it? I have a briefcase full of money that I don't want anymore!

By far the worst commercial jingles I've heard in a long time

Moore!

Moore!

Moore!

How do you like it? How do you like it?

More Moore!

Adam Moore is the opposite of Rob Johnson.

bluemax - April 14, 2010 reply

Welp, time to call it a career Rob

Finally Adam. Thank god.

Wilson :(

MOORE YOU CAN HIT AFTER ALL

That would have been a Rob Johnson popup

on that same pitch

Or a home run

Moore!

Adam Moore....

Hit.. It’s like dividing by zero

The Moore factor!

Good bunter? He bunted himself out last time!

Rally Time!

Almost sneaky sneaky!

Would sure like to see Moore of that!

Get it? Because his last name is Moore.

Hahahahaha that's funny!

That's Adam one.

I don't get it.

ty540 - April 14, 2010 reply

Well that was an awkward dive

Suprise bunt!

Wow he did not hit himself with the bunt this time. Way to go!

Good job Jackie Boy.

I don't know how I feel about that bunt

In theory, stupid idea.

In practice, Jack Wilson didn’t have a useless at-bat.

Could really use a key hit from you here Ichiro. Just think it's May!

Improvement!

Jack Wilson redux:

Can pick it; can’t rake; can lay down the bunt

Cougriculture - April 14, 2010 reply

Unless he runs out of the basepath to avoid getting hit by the ball

Damn I wish that would've been fair.

Did that hit the chalk?

I thought it did.

Definitely foul

but really close.

Yes. Unless that

Cougriculture - April 14, 2010 reply

Reply fail

I suck. Sorry.

Cougriculture - April 14, 2010 reply

What the hell is Ichiro doing

Come on Ichiro.

Jesus christ it almost bounced to the plate.

Ichiro what the fuck

Yikes

Wow

That was terrible

My back hurts just watching that

Terrible swing.

Ewwwwwwwww

Man alive...Ichiro

Ugh. Figgy TIme!

That was a bad one

Dang. May will be a better month when we get Lee back and Ichiro starts hitting.

Oh Ichiro........

And that's what trying too hard looks like.

If thats true, I'm never going to try ever again.

An extra leadoff type hitter makes those Ichiro mistake at-bats null and void, such a luxury

Walks and shit!

I like you Figgins. You can stay.

I never get tired of this 'plate discipline' thing.

Chone is as awesome as advertised

OH FUCK YEAH, WHAT TIME IS IT PEOPLE

IT’S GUTI TIME

Adventure Time!

Come on Mariners score a run

Score a run
Score a run-uuuuu-un
Come on Mariners score a run
Score a run
Score a run-uuuuu-un

We are the blue!

We are the teal!

AND YOU CAN HEAR US SCREAM

WALKA WALKA WALKA

Alright, sex bomb.

It’s clobberin time!

Boots, keep walking

Light it up GUTI!

Leanna - April 14, 2010 reply

League's face is awesome

YEAH FUCK YOUR ASS OAKLAND

FUCK YES

MOORE RUNS!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTIERREZ!

This I like.

I really like this, actually

I deem this a suitable successor to Yaydrian

I love it already

Seconded

GUTI!

Thank GOD for the bobble.

GUTI

FRANKLIN GUTIERREZ WILL NEVER LET US DOWN

Guti!!

GUTI!

WHOOOOOOO!

FUCKING SEX EVERYWHERE

SEX SEX SEX SEX

Good things!

Guti! Moore!

FUCK YES GUTI

Jackle Mackle - April 14, 2010 reply

WOOHOO

That was fun.

GUTI-SEXXXXXXXX-ERREZ

Guti!

Gutz Gutz Gutz Gutz Gutz!!!!!

Catcher speed.

Thank god for that bobble.

ADAM MOORE RUNS WELL FOR A CATCHER

FASTER THAN ROB JOHNSON

Rob's hip surgery gave him wheels for legs

Literally.

VICTORY

Franklin Gutierrez is too, too sexy for me to handle.

God I love Gutz

God that agressive baserunning makes me nervous

Was that Jack Wilson and Jason Vargas next to each other?

Dear god.

When their ugliness combine...

Loafie bomb?

Insult to injury?

I HAVE AN ERECTION

I'll take it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOSE JOSE HOSE

LOPEZ!

LOAFIE! FINALLY!

FUCK YES WE'RE SCORING FUCKING RUNS!!

LOAFIE!!!!!!!!!

THERE IT IS

I LIKE THIS OFFENSE BUSINESS

YES!

LOAFIE

HERO

HAHAHAHA YES YES YES

LOAFIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

.360 WOBA

RUNS! WE'RE SCORING RUNS!

FINALLY BASEBALLS ARE FALLING

MOTHERFUCKING YES

OFFENSE

TIME TO EXPLODE!

HOLY SHIT WE ON FIRE!

LOAFIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

OFFENSE!!!

Jackle Mackle - April 14, 2010 reply

What team is this?

And where are the Mariners?

MOTHERFUCKING JOSE!!!

LOPEZ?!

LOPEZ!!

Oh my God we might score more than 5 runs tonight

We gots runs!

Big Jared - April 14, 2010 reply

4-2 lead!

LOPEZ!

WHAT IS GOING ON I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS

Are these the 2010 Mariners??

Awesome stuff right HER

That’s what the cool kids are telling me, anyhow.

WE ARE SCORING RUNS WEEE WOOOOO WEEEE WOOOO

BRADLEY

HOLY OFFENSE

What are these imaginary creatures?!

The Rally Dino!

I Laughed out Loud

This looks really really cool when it's tiled like that

This is amazing.

Milton Bradley looks sort of like Carl Everett

Only endlessly better at everything

Racist.

Where are the Llamapilars?

Single bunt walk single single

Finally, multiple hits in an inning

It’s almost like this was bound to happen at some point!!!

Wow that was close to yesterday's pitch

Strike?

Well that was strike 3

Break!

How did he not swing at that?

Wow how didn't he get rung up there.

Come on Milton beat the fuck out of the ball

He hit Denard Span's mom!

Nobody hits Denard Span's mom except Denard Span!

SHOULD HAVE PINCH HIT WITH BRANDON LEAGUE

Strike FOUR!

Gay but I'll take it

Great inning bitchessss!!!

Bradley sucks.

Trade him right now, is what I say.

Yeah seriously is that Carlos Silva still available??

I will now predict that Vargas will pitch until the 8th

He just got removed to start the 7th

Well Im on gameday

Astronomical start

Hey... no Milton argument with the umpire.

But I’ve been told he’s a horrible monster! That he’d meltdown! That… that’s he’s just a ticking time bomb ready to go off at the smallest infraction against his blackliness!

I don’t understand this! How can he be so… pleasant and a good sport?!

He probably knew he should have been rung up already

Boy the irony is so thick you can cut it with a knife

I loved his angry glances out of the side of his eyes at the umpire. That was neat.

Probably because he knew it was a strike

Oh man I hope this didn't jinx anything.

I’m still waiting for him to go apeshit.

Angelswin.com is funny.

Someone makes a post about Milton’s base running blunder only to have to eat their words when he hits that 2R Single later.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE LEAGUE'S SPECS!?

He forgot them. Maybe he'll pitch better when he can't see.

Who the fuck is this nerd that's pitching

Wouldn't glasses be nerdier?

Not League's glasses

AHHHHHH THE GOOGLES ARE GONE!

Well they didn't do anything

League is pitching blind right now

Wild thing!

You make my heart sing

You walk EVERYTHING.

So League is our Rick Vaughn?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUhSYLRw14&playnextfrom=TL&videos=CMx8ozVKl8I

Kind of reminds me of this..

WHAT IS THIS

That fastball's got bite

League's hair looks cooler every time

Who cut his hair, vegomatic?

It looks amazing without the hat!

Flobie!

The helmet is back!

AWWWW SWEET BRANDON LEAGUE IS IN

HELMETS!

Yay!

Now we’re going to win for sure.

It was there for opening day

Should Wak have left Vargas in for one more inning?

No

Day off tomorrow so...

Oh, I forgot about the day off. Usally on Mondays.

Man, that breaking ball is SICK.

OH MY GOD

Hot diggity

God that fastball is amazing.

Brandon Kleague!

That was orgasmic

SIDDOWN MOTHERFUCKER

Sit DOWN son!

God he is nothing but movement

He's like Eric Byrnes with talent!

God, game day is so slow.

So, this is what a League leader in pitch effectiveness looks like

Oh, so pretty!

I was wondering when Rosales was coming up next.

I needed a fix.

The strike zone on gameday looks incredibly small

forte40 - April 14, 2010 reply

So when Riz says it was a sinker and Gameday says it was a fastball, who do I believe?

On the swinging strikeout.

Neither

Ask Sims.

It's hard to fucking tell.

His fastballs have so much movement on them.

It's a Brandon League pitch

It just kinda gets there quickly and moves a lot.

The way League is throwing, both

Whatever the fuck it is, it's going fast and moving a ton.

It's a fastball that sinks

That fucking pitch is just unbelievable

Oh my god.

I’m in love. These pitches are absurd.

Nice, Jose

Wow?

Jose Lopez is good at defense but still phenomenally boring!

Lopez!!!!!

Nicely done Jose

What?

Lotre!

I can't believe the 3b/2B experiment has worked out this well.

I know! I mean, yeah In Z We Trust and all, but still...

WOW LOPEZ

I'm sure RRS made it clear to League he was the only player on the team who wears glasses

The mental image I have of League's facial expression as he gets an intimidating threat from RRS

cracks me up. It’s basically just his face from the bullpen commercial.

Lopez showing off

Loafie looks a lot more comfy over there.

I love 3B loafie.

That looked vaguely Beltresque

Man he looks good over there.

96 with sink.

SICK1

Beltrez

Big Jared - April 14, 2010 reply

Those goggles are going back the fuck on

Holy shit that looked dangerous

RAWWWWWWWWWWWWR

That was fun.

PUT IT IN ME, LEAGUE

Can League not close his mouth or something?

Who cares?

Hes the twin of John Lackey

How dare you

That is not nice.

Its part of the sex appeal in my opinion

Cliff Pennington?

Dave's said that a couple times..he's getting old but he's still darling.

Anyone, think Lopez would play so good at 3b?

Seattlebruin

Yes?

I was answering his question

So well, and probably not this early, but he's never been a bad defensive player

Two days ago that batted ball hits League in his pitching arm and breaks in half.

it in half*

Wonder what that play would've looked like with the glasses.

What's crackin', bitchfists?

Hey it's like Chinn is here, but shittier!

Watch your mouth.

What, it's totally true

Gotta go with sb on this one.

Gonna have to disagree here.

Doc is a real premium addition to this site.

Compared to Chinn.

I am ASU Boyd compared to Chinn

Only because Chinn can't prescribe you drugs in five years

I don't like painkillers

There are drugs that aren't painkillers

Like, for Robert, Haloperidol.

To the wikimobile!

Trolling newbies, sexing Milton and League, the usual.

And learning about Corco's facial hair

Sounds like my kind of night.

Just before you crack the chest open?

We finished with the bodies last week.

Tomorrow I get my hands on brains.

Guess that's not one of Lopez' siblings then

You suck

That was tasteless wasn't it

No, they are stupid and dead. You're in the clear here.

Sorry, on Lookout Landing, we only like tasteful, proper humor

you must be new here

Hey Byrnes!

You stink!

Brynes looks like he smells fine

Probably too much Axe body spray

He looks like he smells like Axe

dammit

Byrnes and your fucking pop ups

Byrnes pop-up

“FUCK”

Wow, Byrnes swears a lot

If I were him, I'd swear a lot too

Maybe he posts on this site and we don't know it?

I swear he has Tourette's.

Coprolalia!

I love it. His arm strength and accuracy have been impressive.

Vargas, League, Lopez, Bradley, Other?

Guti

I'm guessing Lopez and a reply fail

Sorry,I thought I hit the reply button. In regards to Lopez at 3b.

Tui's gonna get on base here

Oh bullshit

Is he on base yet?

Way to be patient Byrnsie

I assume ya'll found the single Milton booer and have already beaten him senseless?

After Bradley's two-run single he shut the fuck up.

I thought that was after RC beat the living shit out of him with a crowbar

Was she serious about the beer vendor?

I want to do a three person duet of Hips Don't Lie with Felix and Brandon League

I call LL Cool J's Doin' It.

Wowwww.

You would make a mess of yourself.

Honestly, a Robert/League/Felix trio is something I'd pay good money to hear.

It would be funny, I'm just saying he would get so excited he make a mess of himself.

There's something endearing about a guy who violently curses

over his most common outcomes.

NIGGA STOLE LEAGUE'S GLASSES

FLAGGED

If you're going to flag something, just flag it.

Don’t write a comment that’s just “flagged”. Same as with “rec’d”

Hey look, a leg around a corner!

No way was that a fucking strike.

Wow

Not a strike

Ball?

well that was most certainly not a strike.

Hilarious third strike call.

Fuck you Eddings.

Boooooo

Jason Vargas struck out 6?

Slow Country - April 14, 2010 reply

Yes?

He channeled his inner Felix

Finally, somebody is making our shtty pitchers look like Cy Young instead of the other way around.

I thought of this last night

It was like a Felix vs Bergeson game

Fuck you Rob Johnson

Because every thread needs one

I agree

I wanna hit that guy who hits the fish

He looks like he plays for the Angels

That or its that I have a violent mind

My house is filling out our cenus

Suggestions?

Gay lovers and Kirk's adopted brothers

I wanted to fill me out as the 12 person in the house but my roommates fucking suck

When they ask for your sex cross out both options and write yes please

I saw a movie based entirely on the premise of a woman answering "occasionally" to that question on a dorm application once.

Explain

That's all I remember

So was it a good movie?

forte40 - April 14, 2010 reply

I only remember the plot but I feel fairly comfortable in saying no

More League?

I like seeing the guys in the pen go more than one inning.

Especially Kanekoa Texeira, right?

Sit down bitch.

League looks downright nasty

That pitch is disgusting.

HE GONE

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BRANDON LEAGUE IS OUT OF THESE BATTERS LEAGUE

Ehhhh.

Is that legal?

Is he still part of the roster?

He just walked Generic A's Hitter though

I can't believe I'm saying this but

I’ve had minimal to no problems with MLBTV tonight.

And now you've jinxed it

You’re gonna pay for that.

Yeah. Thought of that right after I hit post. Ah crap.

Same here.

Same here, its been great the last three days (for me at least)

This is pretty typical every year. First week is shit. Rest of the year is generally fine.

I had to turn on the radio about the 6th inning last two nights-the feed gets a brain fart.

Last year I started running MLB.tv in Chrome.

Per someone’s advice here. I have had no problems with it since (including the first week).

We've stranded 10 on base? Sheez.

Was way worse last night

Wasn't it 9 last night?

15

Nope, read the stat wrong

Just kidding.

It's been as many as 15 I think. But it gets old-yay for winning.

At least it's guys on base. That's good.

SETTING UP THE DOUBLE PLAY, BITCHES

So does Brandon League remember that one best pitch in baseball that he has again?

Sure looks like it. God Damn.

I love you Guti

*Wooooooootierrez!

I love this.

Seriously I can't fucking believe he's on our team

He's probably my favorite person ever

What about Lucas French?

What do you want to bet he's still on the team in 4 years? As a starter?

I think he can pull it off.

Tacoma is spacious.

$99 + personalization fee + tax + shipping

Replica?

I'm not buying an authentic Lucas French jersey

I’m not insane

I don't know anything about jersey pricing, so I have no reference for what $99 gets you.

That sounds pretty good though, I might have to pick a player. Position though, no pitchers.

Ackley

What happens when he gets traded for Prince Fielder

Too safe, I want to live life on the edge

Garrett Olson!

Not a pitcher! Sold!

What am I, new?

Jack Hannahan!

Slightly better, much handsomer Bloomie. Fine Irish sounding name, this might be it.

Liddi. Jesus. Poythress might be good, need to check out gameday pics first.

Poythress

I agree with this choice.

He does have a kickass name

Pineda.

Go for all out hilarity and get a Liddi jersey.

If he's going that direction he might as well pick Halman.

I like the Liddi idea

Texeira

BRANDON LEAGUE

NO PITCHERS AND FUCKING HELL NO ON RELIEVERS

FELIX OR BRANDON LEAGUE

Do this

Just pick someone better than I do

This shouldn't be difficult.

Zduriencik number 69

I love this idea.

I may get one myself

If you don't I think I will.

Go for it I live in Oakland, so we'll not likely ever be in the same place.

Why am I trying to make this bet with you.

Sorry, I’m new.

I just love that he looks every bit the competent hitter.

This is the greatest thing ever.

WE HAVE HIM FOR 4 YEARS AT LEAST

Thanks Safeco.

Guti is awesome

It cannot be said enough

If the M's can hang on to the win tonight, we have a nice stretch of winnable games coming up.

Brandon League's fastball looks like Felix's awesome fastball

That's right, just hit it to Guti.

League looked disappointed in that pitch

League's games are made or broken on whether the ump calls pitches grazing the plate

Opisgod - April 14, 2010 reply

So...both of those would have been out of a lot of parks, right?

Safeco's CF is pretty neutral if I'm remembering right

but ask Matthew

I thought left center was huge, but i could be remembering wrong.

I believe you're correct, but those both looked pretty dead center

On At bat they both look like they would have been out if left center was as shallow as right center.

Correct, Safeco's LCF is huge and CF is average.

Eh, left center is the worst part of the park for hitters

It’s probably worse than neutral overall, but right of dead center not so much.

Brandon League is like having Dickey's knuckleball, but 100 times more awesome.

Nothing is more awesome than a knuckleball

Every team should have a knuckleballer.

I miss Dickey.

And it goes a lot faster.

Dyaearick Barton may be the most annoying player I've seen this season.

It seems like he swings about 10% of the time and bribes every ump to squeeze the pitcher.

And he's a ginger.

No soul then?

Few more runs would be nice.

Eli Whiteside homered.

Who?

The man, the myth, the Eli Whiteside.

Whom?

Listen to the podcast

The world has gone mad

We've got this one in the bag!

Jack Wilson just made hard contact. I don't know what to think.

I don't understand how he has ever hit a home run

Funny shit. I was thinking the same.

Twice in a row, actually

5 strikes called balls

League is too nasty for his own good

Opisgod - April 14, 2010 reply

Wilson hits it as hard as he can.

That is as hard as Jack Wilson can hit a ball

That's as far as he'll hit a ball.

Curse you!!

I think that's about as hard as Wilson can hit a ball

Well, this was impressive.

If he could only hit it that hard on a line drive.

Jack Wilson just hit the ball pretty hard.

This means anything is possible guys… When you believe.

Believe Big.

Rob Johnson being good is not possible. That's a counterexample for your hypothesis.

I mean, that would just be irrational

Damn, you're right.

There goes my dissertation.

Wasn't there a phrase called "There can be miracles when you believe"

Yeah.. Its a song.

Who's going to hit a home run first?

Figgins or Wilson?

Figgins.

I don't think Wilson's healthy enough to hit one.

Ever

Figgy

he bats more and hits the ball more often

Moore

Figgins is gonna luck into one

Wilson doesn’t even have warning track power.

Figgins is significantly more competent.

Neither will hit a homerun this season.

I'm thinking this is very likely.

Wilson

ICHIRO!

Solid contact!

Ichiro!

ICHIRO!

That looked much more Ichiro like.

Good stuff.

So is Ichiro back to Ichiro yet?

It's still April

The best part about Ichiro is that he's always Ichiro.

Ichiro was never not Ichiro

Ichiro sucking in April is part of Ichiro being Ichiro

ICHI!

ICHIRO WOOOOOOOOOOOO

There we go Ichi!

Two hit night for Ichiro.

Ichiro?!!!! YES

ICHINOOOOO

Yay Ichiro!

At least now the booer is putting his exceptionally annoying voice to good use

Does he just exist to boo everything in sight?

Yes, some people suck that much.

What I really hate is that this is actually true

That guy is awesome

Booing is a hallowed tradition in baseball

I'll boo the Yankees. I'll boo the Red Sox. I'll boo the Mets

But I ain’t booing Milton Bradley!!

Awwwww but I like the Mets :(

Anyone who boos Milton Bradley is by definition not awesome

Except he's booing Ramirez.

If its even the same guy.

Seattle needs a better booing culture.

He was booing Milton Bradley earlier in the game

I mean, look how long it took for us to boo Sexson

I dunno.

I’d rather us boo opposing players, not our own.

royalcurve - April 14, 2010 reply

I think it's a different guy

The Milton guy’s voice was cracking.

That one guy who boos is loud.

Good on him

Its always the same annoying drunk guy at every game.

I want to punch that guy in the fucking face.

I wish I were there.

kevin_ess - April 14, 2010 reply

All of a sudden the top of the order is reminding me how this team is going to score runs.

BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I've learned to love him

So I really should have watched this game and not the Red Wings.

BA-OOOOOO

Is this the same guy that was booing Milton?

Sounds like it.

Chone, dude

Its the same guy booing and its hilarious.

So does anyone know if there will be a dog day this year at Safeco

Meaning bringing your dog to the ballpark? i really wanted to do that this year, but I didn’t see anything under the promotions.

Fin - April 14, 2010 reply

Have they done that in the past?

Torrid - April 14, 2010 reply

I'm not sure the Mariners have ever done that.

That sounds like an awful idea.

I want Ichiro to bring his dog.

I believe Poochie is at the park tonight so yes.

There is a wailing wench in the audience

I think that's a little girl

Just throw the damn ball to the fucking plate

Guti!

And a nice looking slide by Ichiro.

You can have me whenever the fuck you want Franklin

SEX LINE DRIVE

Ichiro!

FUN!

Fucking Guti.

Love it.

Most of us would

Being fast is AWESOME

Wheee!

ICHIRO!

Great Escape is an amazing rally song

That's the baseball gods paying you back for all those throws to first!

Beautiful.

Fucking awesome.

How in the hell did he get all the way over there?

I-CHI-RO.

GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTT

GUTI

Beast mode engaged

Sex beast?

It doesn't have an off switch

Maximize?

Or Terrorize?

I thought that Beast Mode was exclusive to Juan Pierre

Link

Marshawn Lynch.

I was hoping it would be him on an Animorphs cover

Lopie dont mess this up!

Balk?

That was my thought.

Thanks ump!

Uh I think he caught that.

I thought Suzuki caught that cleanly.

Sure looks like it.

Kurt Suzuki seems very agreeable

I agree

Yeah whats up with that

Our Suzuki draws lines in the dirt.

The podcast tells me he's polite.

I heard him on MLB Network Radio

He seems ridiculously nice and polite. And to think I was hoping for more reasons to hate him.

He's good and he plays for a division rival?

Yeah I've already exhausted those sources of hatred

I was hoping he’d be a total asshole.

When Ichiro does shit like that they should play smoth criminal.

Uh....

Haha he caught that so clean.

MAKE THEM PAY LOAFIE!

Fool Loafie once? Shame on you. Fool Loafie twice? Shame on Loafie. Fool Loafie three times? No real surprise.

He’s a direct descendent of dinosaurs.

So he doesn't exist?

The entirety of his head sticks out over his neck. None of it exists behind.

He looks like a chicken.

He's a bird

This screams for an updated version of the Rally Dino gif.

Bob Geren and Jack Wilson should never allowed to be in the same baseball game

I have no sound. What is going on here?

Dispute over whether Lopez

foul tip hit the dirt or not.

Fuck me

Thanks.

Precicely

is a retard. It didn't last long.

The manager is arguing for nothing, basically.

Also, boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

OR JUST STARE AT IT.

Way to take advantage

BULLSHIT THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

See? No big deal, A's.

Well that was two minutes well spent

Make up call. I accept.

If that would of happened against us, if would of directly led to an RBI.

Facepalm?

And the universe corrects itself

Why can’t we cash in on the umps stupidy?

So while there's some downtime...

Has the daily “Fuck Rob Johnson” quota been met?

FUCK ROB JOHNSON.

FUCK ROB JOHNSON.

Oh come now he's done nothing to you except make you feel

feel sad? Angry? Irritated?

It's the first time you've been able to open up since your dog died

Was that addressed to me?

I don’t own a dog.

Not since the flour mill accident.

fuck you

We know. He died.

With a 12 foot pike.

Lawn darts

Not surprising.

Time to close another case DA!

.

Is that from what I think it's from?

I hope so. Awesome.

Come on DA.

Lock this shit down.

COME ON DA!

Time to see who the lucky winner of the warning track game ender is tonight.

Aardsma just looks so polished and ready

And scares the shit out of me every time

Scared the shit out of us yesterday.

He just bounced one fifteen feet in front of the plate

And got a strike!

Like I said...polished. Sharp.

2 More to go!

Good God I love Brandon League.

Whaaa?

The picture they put up a minute ago on the high speed pitch graphic was amazing.

What the fuck was Kouz swinging at??

Jose Lopez, hitting coach

K!

K!

Bye bitch

Climb the ladder!

K!

Looks like the velocity is back.

Take a seat. Take a seat over thre.

David Aardsma

The new Chris Hanson

Wow

That’s sick

Sit down Son!

His K/9 is going to be fucking baller this year

knocks on wood

I hope you have some real one

Ha! Dave N., "A steady diet of cheese, baby!"

Mariners win!

A WINNER IS YOU

Look ma we're winners!

Omerta - April 14, 2010 via mobile reply

WIN WIN WIN

A winning streak?

I like this.

First series we won of the year.

I LOVE THE MARINERS

Jackle Mackle - April 14, 2010 reply

WINNING STREAK!!!

SERIES WIN!

PUT IT IN YOUR MARINER LOG BOOK!

CASE CLOSED

Victory!

CASE CLOSED!

WINNING STREAK WITH FELIX GOING ON FRIDAY!

WIN!

Winning streak!!!

4-6 baby!

PLAYOFFS

WAY TO GO! HURRAY M's!

Leanna - April 14, 2010 reply

We're going streaking!

Through the quad and into the gymnasium!!

WINNING STREAK!

You are winner! Ha! Ha! Ha!

MILTON BRADLEY BREAKING IT DOWN!

MARINERS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BRADLEY DANCING

WE'RE ALMOST TO .500!

Series!

MARINERS WIN AGAIN!

Oh my god.

MILTON GIF POTENTIAL!

I saw that too...someone has to deliver a gif of it

Mejeh - April 14, 2010 reply

WINS ALL UP IN THIS BEOTCH

WOOOOOO!

Uh-Oh Bradley is feelin' the flow--he is riding the bull.

Woo!

bluemax - April 14, 2010 reply

SO THIS WHOLE WINNING THING?

I’M LIKING IT.

Lets go streaking...

MILTON BRADLEY JIG!!

WE NEED ANOTHER .GIF

I LOVE YOU MILTON

Please someone make that a gif

Milton Bradley is having fun!

So, turns out when we hit we win.

Man, I was totally hoping for a Chone Figgins smile

(Chone Figgins was being interviewed in the dugout by Jenn)

Gahh anything notable he said?

I WISH I WAS IN MARKET.

Nah.

I counted 7 cliches.

It’s become my post game interview habit.