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Lookout Landing

4/19: Open Game Thread, Part 3

And now these innings are meaningless again.

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Comments

Two-hitter!
YOU HAVE TRIPLE JINXED IT NOW

(self parody)

You're not funny.
Really glad that one thread is closed now.
It may have left a bit to be desired

but over the course of 20 years or so, it would have evened itself out.

To answer your question they are American Eagle swimshorts and a Husky teeshirt
Swimshorts with or without "support"?
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY

My pity for the Orioles has just gone out the window

Hey it's Mike Reilly.

Always a joy to see him.

Wieters is a good hitter.
Relax. Felix will have one later
Fister's ERA = 0.96
Funny. I am listening to game via MLB At Bat

and working and didn’t even realize Fister was on a no-no bid. Good work by Dave and crew.

THANK YOU
They mentioned it several times.

Fister > Snell ???

SUBJECT LINE MOTHERFUCKER
A little strong there, buddy.
My apologies
My bad CORCO
If this is you ripping on Corco then you have righted your wrongs and are back on the way to a good start
Your name suggests you will be a welcome addition to the LL community.
He might of mocked Corco

Don’t close the book on him just yet.

Since I am Corco this doesn't qualify as a mock

Merely him falling for the reverse psychology employed in my username

You're not Corco; your name says so.
I love your user name.

Subject line please, though.

Felix is gonna be on a mission on Wednesday
Silver lining, still a great game.
Fister looks to have good movement on his pitches
I agree

his two-seamer has a ton more movement than I thought.

There goes the shutout.
And it's all Dave Sims fault or something.
I blame you.
You blame me for everything.
Yeah. It sure is. YOU JUST DON'T SAY THOSE THINGS.
TAKE HIM OUT NOW PLEASE
There goes the shut out

Jesus, I hate Dave Sims.

And I hate you.
Dave Sims is a lot more important than a no hitter
I don't think you really believe that.
Unless I am there, yes I believe
You can eat a dick too!
Avoiding mentioning a no hitter to keep from "jinxing" the team is the kind of shit Hawk Harrelson would do.

I’d prefer my broadcasters to stay as far from that territory as possible.

Yeah, Hawk Harrelson sucks. He's just the worst.
Down Corco.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
There goes everything
Balls on a stick
Oh well fuck it, a win's a win
FUCK DAVE SIMS!
Fuck you, buddy!
Dave Sims could go to prison for murdering you and he'd still be awesome
Let's be honest, Dave Sims murdering any of us would make him more awesome than he already is.

He’d probably go Oddjob with one of his hats.

God dammit I was just about to post a great comment
Well, just save it for the next time Fister pitches a shutout.
Had nothing to do with Fister
Well, thanks for the story!
God damnit Adam Jones
So is Fister really this good, or is everybody he's pitched against this bad?

Definitely the latter in the case of the Orioles, but still…

Fister's actually pretty good. By no means an ace, but still pretty damn good
Oakland isn't exactly murderer's row either....
Yeah, I want to see him face the Red Sox first to see if he's really got it.

Oh wait.

He throws strikes and doesn't embarrass himself

A perfect back-end starter. Having a great defense behind him certainly helps.

League average, but I like when he pitches to bad lineups at Safeco. That always goes well.
Well, they're missing Brian Roberts

But they’re not that bad

Fucking No Hitters, how do they work?
Luke Scott's auditioning for us
Did Weiters score from first base?
Fister still looking good in his starts though.
Pineiro is getting on my nerves now.

Mitigating a hilariously poor showing by the Angels offense against Dontrelle Willis

Dontrelle's supposed to be semi-back this year.

Although I have no idea if this is actually true, having only heard it from MLB Network.

Nope, still sucks
Back to being terrible, maybe
I'm probably not going to enjoy watching him pitch against us

Though thankfully we aren’t as free-swinging as we’ve been in the past.

Settle down people we're winning by 6.
Fister fluster. :(
If Bad League shows up my good mood will go away in a hurry.
I figured out the jinx guys...

My friend is at the game, and right before he gave up the hit a lady behind him said the cursed words…

I told him to punch her in the face.

Yep, you're still terrible!
Thanks man.

I’ve been getting along with everyone else for months now.

I wonder if somebody said Bill Walsh's cancer had a no hitter going.
Luke Scott - mariner killer
I fully expect Felix Hernandez to throw a perfect game on Wednesday
Great start Fister, well done. Take a seat and we'll see you in a week
More like on Saturday.
Or Sunday.

I have no clue.

Sunday I think. We have the day off Thursday
Fist got too deep.
Rec'd for so gross.
Shoulder deep
Relax, turn around and take my hand.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST PEOPLE SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JINXING DOUG FISTER! IT DIDN'T MAKE A DAMN BIT OF DIFFERENCE!
OF COURSE IT DOES

FUCK REALITY

I love the "In Z We Trust" sign in right field
He fisted too fast. You have to start slow and gradually advance.
I guess it's time to get work done
Fister got shoulder deep in their feathery asses
Hah Baltimore has now used 3 pitchers this game!
Kam Mickolio!
Ok, now pile on the fucking runs
This guy pitches like it was 1887.
Someone should hold a "no-hitter" contest.

The person who says no-hitter closest to the time of the first hit wins.

Please score 20 runs or something

I hate watching meaningless innings.

Guti hasn't homered in a while
But he's walked very recently.
Your point?
Guti still hasn't homered in a while
GOD HE SUCKS SO BAD
I just wish he would step up every once in a while
And OPS over a 1000?
I never knew how that was how you (or at least Rizzs) pronounces his name

mick-oh-LIE-oh

Rick Rizzs is basically reasons #1 through 43 to never listen to the game on the radio.

As awesome as Niehaus is.

Mickolio still can't throw strikes yay!
Um...
Seattle Mariners
Bats continue to come alive…Jack Wilson has 2 doubles tonight, his 1st time with 2 extra-base hits in a game since 8/1/09 at Texas.

I’m always disappointed when “hey look at this stat!” things are like “oh really? that’s it?”

He didn't play very much at the end of last season.

And it’s only 2 weeks into this season… so yeah, that’s pretty stupid.

Bats continue to come alive...Jack Wilson has two good offensive games since 8/1/09 at Texas.
Still not as bad as ESPN and their made up stats

“Usaldo Jimenez is the first person whose name starts with a U in history to throw a no-hitter”

Was it true that he was the first person whose name starts with a U in history to throw a no-hitter?
Or that his name is Usaldo?
GUTI + LOPEZ

ORGY

Griffey GIDP.
Griffey 3-run blast now please
What's hilarious is that tonight that will be looked at as a great Loafie hit.

Because the entire difference between that ball and the double play grounder he hit earlier on was about 5 feet.

Do we get hits besides groundball singles through the infield?
Guti gets hits into the gap and Kotchman hits homers.
Guti could hit into my gap.
We took all the good middle infielders and so nobody else can get those.

So yes, that’s all we get.

I wonder what Jose Vidro is up to?
He took over Jose Lopez's body
That was meatball right down the middle!
Griffey can't turn on a fastball any more
That's right, Junior, take one RIGHT DOWN THE FUCKING MIDDLE
And then fly out on the EXACT SAME PITCH.

He really is done.

Sometimes his patience pisses me off.
GriffLent continues!
Well shit in a bag and punch it.
Damn.

Come on Milton!

Hey look, it's the O's version of RANDY JOHNSON.
I am so glad I did not participate in the Griffey challenge
I intended to.

Then my laptop broke and things got out of hand.

There is no shame in quitting
Don't let me down boy
But I'm so boring without caffeine
No you're not
No I am pretty sure that I am.
Devin disagrees
I disagree as well.
I enjoyed your company.
I was mainlining caffeine at that point.
I haven't noticed much of a difference
I HAVE AND ITS AFFECTING MY CONFIDENCE
Yeah you are pretty bland
The most interesting thing to happen to me was getting a massive blister
You called a fan a lesbian for wearing a Cardinals shirt.
You called a 5 year old boy a lesbian for wearing a Cardinals shirt.*
I need to meet up at a game with you fellas.
It would make me pleasent!
What?
I'm Roberts Caffeine kick.
So you're saying Robert is going to drink you.
Only when Griffey hits a dinger.
Does this have to do with jerking it?
It would be pleasent!
I'm already healthier for it.
Man, I just want to see Milton stop pressing.

GET A SINGLE OR PERHAPS WORK OUT A WALK

He'll be okay
I hope so.

Gorman Thomas 1982.

He stopped pressing a while ago. He's come up clutch quite a few times already
Milton Bomb on 2-2 count

Calling it!

I missed earlier in the game

Has Mike Reilly manifested his preference for a Mariner loss yet?

Wiggington stopped him
Haha, fakeout with the bat smash
Seeing that was almost worth him striking out.
Damn it!

He almost slammed the bat! So close!

If Guti keeps this up he'll be a sure-fire all-star.
If he keeps hitting .426...

NO WAY!!!!!

Why is Brandon League going to pitch in a 6 run game?

Isn’t this Sean White or Jesus Colome duty?

I would've liked to see Texeira get some innings.
He also pitched yesterday.
Oh.

Didn’t watch the game yesterday.

Pineapple Express Baby!!!!
I prefer Krakatoa
Probably needs work.

Relief pitchers are people too

Both of those guy pitched yesterday.
My mistake

I missed yesterdays game and by all accounts it was boring so I didn’t bother re-watching after checking out LL.

But normally.

Completely agree. We just kind of burned threw everyone yesterday.

Colome threw like 40 pitches yesterday.

I think League is the only one besides Aardsma that didn’t pitch yesterday.

DO IT BRADLEY! DO ITTTTT

Pussy.

Just kidding, I love you.

So how's that no hitter going?
Corco jinxed it.
Actually I did...
Rizzs has been giving a rambling history lesson for approximately the last 15 minutes.

He calls a game like it’s interrupting his stories sometimes.

Felix doesn't pitch until Wednesday
He's still got it
Naawwww I'm just playin'
Ok, calling Kotch-Man over the right field wall on a 2-2 count
Wrong again. I'll stop now
Milton doing his best Happy Gilmore impression with that kind of restraint.

That is Happy Gilmore after Chubbs died

Wow we got away with one there
That was a strike.
Dave Sims needs to stop talking about the trade.

It’s making me sad.

He should stop talking period. Breathing too for that matter.
SUCK A DICK BUDDY
What's a "dick buddy"?
Like a sideways strap on so your cock won't get lonely
your right hand.
Try not saying stupid things.
I agree.

What the fuck is wrong with Dave Sims?

I was pissed for earlier. I take it back already
You know guys

You don’t need to curse at a guy for saying he doesn’t like Dave Sims. He’s an announcer. People won’t like him. It’s fine.

There are many worse announcers, though.

Like on this same team. Rick Rizzs. And whereas no ballplayer is going to care about this site, I bet Dave Sims might come on here, see a bad comment and get sad and quit to sell hats. Maybe not.

I agree with you

but there’s disagreeing, there’s piling on, and there’s completely unnecessarily and aggressively piling on.

Not that I don't do this myrelf all the time

But this is probably where the whole group think reputation comes from. Like we kind of drive away people who mildly disagree with people who love by jumping all over them for unpopular opinions.

It really ought to change

Maybe I should set a better example.

That's not to say we shouldn't jump on the complete retards, though
Seems like a fine line there
It's pretty easy to tell the difference

Irrational hatred for a player or broadcaster? Not a big deal, let it go.

Belligerant, insulting, ignorant poster who never cared to read the rules of the site or what it’s about before they started jumping all over people themselves for “not really understanding the game” or whatever? Probably not going to end up a productive commenter.

Unless you're pointing out there's a no-hitter every other comment

Then it’s good

Rizzs isn't on TV though.

So it’s good for watching the game and hell on road trips

We get mad when people make fun of Milton Bradley.

What’s the difference? Sure Bradley’s a player, but Sims “interacts” with us more often.

The first response to this comment was "FUCK YOU"
The comment I responded suggested that Dave Sims should die.
I was being ironic. Suddenly there's a comment good-taste police? Really? On this thread?
I was just responding in kind. If your comment had been tamer, mine would've been as well.
The first response to many comments is often "FUCK YOU"
Hey pal

Have a nice day!

Thanks Friend!
FUCK YOU
Really?
No I didn't mean nothin by it
Thank goodness
Let's root for baseball together!
Last week people reacted to someone going after Bradley in the same way.

I’m trying to find the game thread…

I like the community that we've built but we could really stand to be like 10% more hospitable
I think some of it has to do with how the game thread has been going in general.

The worse it is, the nastier everyone’s mood gets and piling on happens faster.

And it's too active to moderate!

Avalanche!

Fair enough.

I’ll keep it in mind.

People who hate on Bradley are usually so ridiculously over the top though
The voice of reason, thank you.
I suggest you get over it

it really helps.

If the Griffey slump continues can I just pay a hooker to kick in the genitals sans coitus
I can't write a sentence will the words that are supposed to be in them anymore and I blame Griffey for this
Bradley u supposed to punch the pitcher in the face if u get stuck out
Do not use chatspeak here
*ewe
I bet he's looking pretty sheepish right about now.
On the contrary, good sir.
Every once in a while Dave Sims reminds me of those hicks from South Park

“dey turk dur jerbs!”

If Doug Fister was 800 pounds he might still have the no-hitter going.
Bartolo Colon isn't that good anymore
I don't see how an 800 pound man could throw a baseball very well at all.
He would have to be a foot taller than Fister.
Well, the point is he might have been able to stop Markakis's hit.

But yeah, other than that it doesn’t really make any sense.

This has to annoy the crap out of Orioles fans.

7-pitch at-bat, up by 6… BOOM

KOOOOOOOOOOOOTCH!
I fucking LOVE KOTCH-MAN!!
Okay so Kotchman is looking pretty good.
CASEY FUCKING KOTCHMAN
Was Guti cringing aroung third?
I'm finding it impossible to not love Kotchman in every way.
Good lord, Casey.
Wow. What an AB.
I wanna suck on Casey Kotchman's doodle
I'd let him stick it in without a doily
You are a dirty dirty girl
Russell who?
Branyan
really, because I thought he was referring to another Russel.
Casey Kotchman hits the ball hard
Back on the bandwagon!
Kotchman needs to bat 5th. He's hitting the ball hard.
He probably enjoys the reduced presssure of hitting after Bradley.
I hate the feeling you get when Rob Johnson comes up to the plate.

Its such a buzz kill

What he lacks at the plate he makes up for in cERA
You have to be a little more subtle about this.

Nobody will fall for it otherwise.

Huh? Can't teach someone how to call a game like that, bro.
Oh lookie its Rob Johnson
I hear he's good
Fuck Rob Johnson!
NICE AB ASSHOLE
Fucking Rob Johnson
Rob Johnson ends the rally?

Surprise face.

Well that wasn't predictable at all.
Brumley is now frightened to send players who would likely make it home

That’s not how you’re supposed to do it.

Yeah. He might want to remember who's hitting next.
AHAHAHAHA ROB JOHNSON

Rob Johnson is so much more fun to watch when the team is winning large.

HAHAHAAHAHAHA
And Rob Johnson still blows
"Rob's gone. He knew it."
So did we actually
Rob Johnson is so much fail
Rob Johnson: Doing what he can to make sure the game's over by 10.
I hate two kinds of the Mariners.

One, Annoying Mariners, two, Boring Mariners.

You forgot the Mariners with Rob Johnson in it Mariners
When Jack Wilson comes up to bat...

I don’t immediately consider it a lost cause. Am I the only one that feels this way?

Better than Robby John at least
Robby John?

I don’t think so.

I wait until he hacks at the first pitch.
Is there a penalty for getting out of GriffeyLLent early?
Hail Gutis?
You have to participate in the Sweeney Challenge
Out of the fryer, into the burning flames of HELL?
Vincent Price voice really juiced this comment
I'll take my chances with GriffeyLLent.
You gave up hot sause you fucking pussy
I fucking love that stuff.
Everything is so damn bland without it.
Why isn't Rob Johnson a Royal yet?
WHY SUB GUTI????
He looked like he was wincing coming around third

Hopefully it’s not serious

Oh SHIT! SEASON OVER! ABORT MISSION!!!
Do you take all potential injuries so lightly. It must suck for you when your optimism doesn't keep people off the DL.
Because we're up by 7 with two innings left to play?
Because it's 8-1 in the 8th inning?
I'd rather pull Bradley, but it isn't that big of a deal.
And he may have tweaked something and they are cautious.
This I did not know.
Atleast Rob Johnson somehow contributed to Fister's almost no-hitter
Wow. I honestly miss Kenji Johjima
You shouldn't be ashamed to say so.

We all do.

I'd recommed watching Hanshin once in a while, it's a nice change.

Also you get unexpected joys like finding out Randy Messenger plays in Japan now. And if you’re really lucky you’ll see him give up a grand slam.

WHAT? Why is Guti out? Injury?
Nah, probably to get Byrnes innings in a blowout
He was cringing around third.
So that means an ACL tear, right?
Not funny.
Laughter is the best medicine.
No, but it probably means he got pulled for an actual reason, not just for rest.
Brandon League was scarier with glasses.

He should have gone with the Ryne Duren look though.

Or Tekulve

Tekulve always looked to me like he should be in Elvis Costello's band.

I’m not sure that’s scary enough.

I really like when they say Mr. Fister
3 K's with a white fist

Bad taste

It wouldn't have been as bad if he had struck out 4
Just looking at Byrnes pisses me off.
How?

Eric Byrnes is amazing.

He and I once had a run in at Yankee Stadium actually

That and I hate the way he prances around the field

Don't forget his tiny feet
Dave Sims, looking at a big 'KKK'

‘You gotta love that’.

The bar I was at suddenly freaked out that KKK was on the screen.

Hard eye roll.

I knew something didn't look right about Guti when he was rounding third. He had a big cringe.
I must say: With how good GUTI is on defense he needs a stat named after him.
Too bad we used up all our crappy relievers yesterday.
We don't need good relievers.

I hate this.

Yuni has never been that far left in his life
WHY IS MILTON BRADLEY STILL ANGRY
He just wants the world to love him
Or the girls at the Magic Gardens.
Probably wanted to get a shot playing CF
The day Milton isn't angry

Is the day he dies

IS GUTI INJURED???

Someone listen for something

OH SHIT I JUST HEARD HIS ACL SNAP
Still not funny.
They're up 8-1.

Calm down.

Some people said he was wincing around third
Maybe he had to poop really bad.
I can't believe I am typing this...

but I really hope this statement is true.

That literally could mean anything
Oh Comon Guillen

Could have tied that game up against the A’s

Stone says M's catchers are 5-43 so far this year.
Lopez is beginning to look pretty solid at 3B

Not Beltre-awesome, but pretty solid nonetheless…

I was just thinking the same thing.

I’ve been pleasantly surprised so far.

As in it would take a forklift to move him?
Figgins doesn't look bad either.

Of course, I will wait for the great UZR to decide what I think.

That won't really tell us anything.
Okay fine then I'll wait for Dave Cameron and/or Jeff Sullivan.
I'm guessing Chone will end up +13 and Lopez +4
That's oddly specific
10 and 5 are just as specific, but I think I chose more accurate numbers.
+13 would be absurd.
He looks +13 to me so far.
Would be optimistic, I dunno about asburd
What, no try for 2nd?
I think he's tired.
Jack Wilson is on fire.
Jack has had a pretty awesome night.

3 hits, and great D. I am pleased.

Stop it Jack this isn't funny anymore
Jack Wilson again!
I always knew Jack Wilson could hit. (I'm lying.)
Boy, Jack Wilson is hitting the piss out of the ball tonight.

We need to play Baltimore more often.

162-0
172-0.
Um

How

It basically means World Series Champions.
Those would be some weird post-season brackets.

There wouldn’t need to be many off-days, at least.

I will give you a million dollar if any team achieves that in 10 years.
How's the view from that limb you're out on, buddy?
I believe this accomplishment is worth about 130 trillion dollars with a one dollar bet.

You better up your payout.

If we bat around twice this inning...

…and Jack Wilson hits a HR and a triple in those AB’s, he will have hit for the cycle.

I don't want to jinx it though, so I won't mention it again.
DON'T JINX IT
I already blaim Sims.
Careful

The good comment police will arrest you for your blaming of Sims and contrary opinion.

What
I made an off-color comment about Sims and these guys acted like I killed their grandfathers
But what if our grandfathers read your comment.

And all had fatal heart attacks.

It's probably a really good idea to complain about that in the game thread.
Well, hell, that's where it's at
And it should stay there.

If you have a problem with your treatment, bring it up to the mods. Don’t be passive aggressive about it.

Eh, it's not worth it. It is however worth smart-ass remarks about it
Nope.
I'm sorry to see that you disagree.
It is not conducive to an enjoyable community
Neither is getting piled on for voicing a contrary opinion.
Would everyone please drop it?
At this point I believe it's more a polite request to drop it.

Instead of carrying it on with snide commentary, and address problems off line with the mods.

Late, crap. My apologies.
Consider it dropped
These aren't smart ass remarks.

You may think they are, but in point of fact this is passive aggressive sniping. It’s really annoying and reminds me of my mother and now I have said too much.

I didn't realize "Eric" was a number.
Damn straight
Blaim may be the best typo I've ever seen.

And I have no idea why.

What seems to be the problem over here?

but that means Rob Johnson will also bat twice.
Mickolio pitch, Adam Jones catch.

Died a little inside on that last play.

Adam Jones misplayed a ball hit by Guti.
Scoreboard.

Don’t worry about it.

Rob Johnson without a hit? No way.
He was just trying to make the inning end faster so his pitcher wouldn't tighten up

So selfless. What a gamer.

You're right. Way to take one for the team, Rob!
I like when Guti bats and when Eric Byrnes doesn't.
I would like Figgins to make a positive contribution to the offense tonight.
He's saving some hits for tomorrow.
He had that walk...
Come on Eric Byrnes make this shit interesting
Him existing makes things interesting.
I still can't believe he's a Mariner
Shoulda taken the walk Chone
The Angels better get Verlander in that series
They miss him by a game.
Four game series for the win

Link

No, he pitches on Thursday
What the hell Piniero?

Sub 2 ERA.

Hey Red!

Wearing an orioles jersey?

Jones
I should bring mine and we can have a party!
Hey look it's Red
They just called Red by his full name
Yeah that was kinda surreal.
I know, I couldn't believe my ears.

Is that the first time they’ve done that?

Not sure
I didn't even think they knew it.
And expressed surprise about the Os jersey
Didn't Red meet Sims last year?
"What a job he has done in that third hole."

Even Niehaus thinks Guti=sexy

I am terrified to ask what the third hole is.
I guess it's a matter of perspective.

Or preference.

Wait, did Sims just mention Red by his real name?
They're talking about Red, and saying he's a traitor!
What Orioles jersey is he wearing?
I forgot to say this already.

 FUCK ERIC BYRNES

You're a fool's fool
Eric Byrnes popping out to Rick Rizzs is like the ultimate sucky play.

Maybe Rob Johnson drops the ball or something, I don’t know how that works out.

Needs more Bloomquist.
Do you hate awesome people?
If Eric Byrnes is awesome, I don't want to be awesome anymore.
When is the "Red Booblehead" coming out?
The booblehead?

That sounds more like an entertaining night on the town than a piece of jiggly plastic.

WAAAAAAAAAAAaait, you can get both of those at once if you get the right girl.

Shit is Guti hurt?
Eric Bynes, a bundle of energy.
Bundle of energy into a walk!
GUTI HURT

FUCK FUCK FUCK

There is always next year I suppose.
And now I'm terrified
What the hell was that shot of Guti wincing while running?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

STEAL STEAL STEAL
So cool Red shoutout and a story.
Why is Red wearing an Orioles jersey?
"Former Beltre fan."
I thought Red shaved his beard off recently?
He is so manly, he added that back on in a week.
They should score all walks to Byrnes

A “prance” because thats exactly what he does.

Jose Lopez HR... you saw the prediction first here.
Just kidding. He'll ground out.
Good call.

Twice.

Pop-up is more traditional.
No one cares about your prediction.
In my head Eric Byrnes is my fun from the Dave and Busters commercials.
You suck at hitting Lopez.
Jose Lopez is so boring
Ok here's a hypothetical guys and gals.

What if MLB players were given the option that they could wear shorts as a uniform? What would you think?

No opinion

Wouldn’t care

Horrible idea.

Horrible.

Horrible idea.

Horrible.

God I hope not.
Only if they're the 70/80's basketball shorts.

I mean…umm…

I hope not. It would remind me of A League of Their Own

Sliding would be terrible.

That'd go over well.

You know what the most awesome thing is about that outfit?

It’s not even the shorts. It’s the MASSIVE collar. It’s like they were saying “hey, we are sort of dressed like the 1880s but with 1970s FLAIR OH YEAH”.

Please put those kneecaps away.

This isn’t softball…

People remember the ChiSox doing that in the 70's.

Ain’t ever happening again.

There's a reason they wear pants

But if the shorts they wore were the ones Ichiro wore in spring training, I’m in favor of it

Potential scraped knees while sliding.

Seems unnecessary.

Put your knees away if your going to be walking around here

Always Sunny quote for those unfamiliar

Wouldn't they get carpet burns all over their legs? Seems silly.
From Stone's Twitter:
We won’t get any update on Gutierrez until after game, apparently. I’m working on game story and didn’t see him wince as he scored in 7th.
Ohhhhhh SHIT!
aargh!

I was all set to sleep. How will that happen now?

Just rounding 3rd base
This is why you pull starters!
Fuck Fernando Rodney
THREE OUTS FOR AN M'S WIN!!
Not sure if anyone has pointed it out but Guti has been grimacing while running

since he hit that triple a few days back

OH MY GOD IS GUTI INJURED?
No no no no no no NOOOOOOO

Guti injury is the single worst thing that can happen to the Mariners.

Felix injury would be worse
The entire team blowing up would be pretty bad
But more Ackley!
Naw because then we could see the AAA team all the time.

Brad Nelson in left field!

Probably just a tweak if he's still out there
How do you feel about a possible Gutierrez injury?

I haven’t been able to get your read on the situation yet

Or Felix.

This is NOT good.

Now I can't study for my finals tomorrow

Please God don’t do this to us faithful Mariner fans!

I think a team place crash would be pretty bad too
Plane crash, what the fuck is wrong with me.
I guess that would probably be Guti's fault
If Safeco Field ran into something, it sure would be tragic.
Injurichiro? Felinjury? Figginjury?

There are worse things than a Gutinjury. Not many, but they exist.

Actually the only one that is worse is the Felinjury. The others are severe but not as severe as Gutinjury
Agreed.

Just look at WAR and replacements.

Wow Milton nice jump
What the fuck Ty stop hitting dingers
Why, would you rather know the horrible, horrible truth?
He gave us like 5 runs with his error.
2nd pitch is a HR, nice job Kelley.

So glad we have a BIG lead.

I don't feel Kelley is that good of a pitcher.
He's pretty good.
He's pretty good.

But I don’t find anything great about him.

Better than White, Texeira, Colome, and perhaps others
This is fact.

Kanekoa isnt too bad though.

If he was sufficiently stretched out in spring training then he's definitely the best of our long guys.
He's better than Sean White.
He's one of our few RH relievers who can get LH hitters out.
That's because you're wrong
Alright maybe Wigginton isn't done
Watch us lose this game.
I will not
I'm using reverse jinxing.
I already blaim Sims.
Blaim.
Blayme
Blaeme.
I love Johjima!
What's that you say? Back spasms?
I love Craig Tatum! Wait what?

Best thing you've posted all night.
I've already told you once to use a subject line.
Maybe we did need Brandon League...
Come on make this interesting Sean!
Angels win 2-0.
Fuck that shit.
Pinero 9 hits, 0 runs.
Well there goes the no hitter-thanks Kelley.
You mean no homer.
Just trying to poke a dead bunny :/.
I wonder how Milton Bradley calls other people off
I don't know -- but you stay called off.
"Fuck outta my way, fool!"
I SAID MOVE, MOTHERFUCKER!

I hope it’s like that.

"FUCK Y'ALL!"
Over tea and scones is my guess
I would agree with you but I don't think they have the tiiiiiiiiiiiiiime
Milton Bradley is an angry black man!
Okay, real cute Kelley

Now just finish this game already.

FUCK YEAH M'S WIN THIS SHIT.
ALLLLLLL RIGHT GO MARINERS!
Woooooooooooo!

.500 again!

And there it is.
Now let's hope Gutz isn't hurt too bad.
.500 BASEBALL HAS RETURNED
GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER

Cliff Lee has a sense of humor.
George Karl has a sense of tumor.
Jon Heyman has a sense of rumor
SWEET WIN

WE’RE ON THE CHOO CHOO TRAIN TO LOLIPOP STATION

Felix just grabbed Cliff Lee and laughed

My heart just exploded with joy.

Oh yes oh yes oh yes!
Saw the same thing, I want them embracing in October.
Don't get excited yet folks. Wait for the report on Guti. It's much more important than this game
BWAHAHAHA!

“You hear that behind me?”
Silence
“That’s the sound of victory!”

Why oh why must MLB.TV cut this stuff out?
That wasn't silence...

That’s the sound of a an art college graduate who lives on a friend’s couch playing the buckets.

What do we know about Guti's injury?
He was laughing after the game
Oh wait that was Felix
Injured men don't laugh.
Guti would laugh at death.
I heard a freak sunglasses accident.
Apparently is okay.

Thanks, sideline reporter chick.

According to Jen Mueller Guti is fine.

Sounds like he was pulled as a precautionary measure.

HE'S OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mariners win? WHATEVER.

File not found
This is what happens when imgur is down for maintenance. I have to use shitty servers.
I can see it
I thought that was your picture.
We broke the shit out of that internet with our awesome
The mariners win gif has had too many views? huh.
This gif is somehow more appropriate as it is currently...
Love the surprised sound in Blowers' voice, "Hey, even Griffey batted in a few runs."
GUTI IS OKAY!
GUTI IS OKAY THEY SAY!
Jen Mueller

said Guti is fine, more later…

Jen Mueller just said Gutierrez's leg exploded

It sounds like bad news, guys.

GUTI'S OK! SEASON SAVED!
THANKS JEN MUELLER!
That was great.

Hoping to see a gif in the near future

Haha I love Jack's brow swipe.
I thought he was trying to wipe his ugliness away
His hands only have so much magic
SO glad we aren't the team that's 2-12 to start the season.
Guti is okay. All is good in the world
GUTI wouldn't let us down.
Your tie is too long, Dave Sims.
Why the fuck would Felix need to take notes from anyone Kreuger

Shut the fuck up

What'd he say?
Bill Kreuger

means it’s time to do that reporting assignment that was due last night.

Two games back of Oakland

And they’re starting a New York series.. We’re gonna do this thing

Playoffs?
Start planning that parade, Fogel.
DON'T PULL A DAVE SIMS!
Awesome hats?

Everyone should pull a Dave Sims!

I miss Morrow.
I always thought it would be funny if Carlos Silva's name was actually CarLess Silver.
Huh?
Like less silver = less money. Sort of. Get it? Or did I totally just fail?
Bill Hall about killed himself filling in for Cameron today.
Too bad the Angels have stopped sucking :(
Well they haven't had their dose of Fister just yet.
They haven't they just got lucky, Tigers had 9 hits no runs.
`
mattpitman Wak on guti: some tightness in his groin. Didn’t seem to pull anything, just some tightness on both sides." says Guti wanted to come back
Yeah sorry about that guys
He's too much of a man for his thighs to handle it.
I bet I know where he can find a massage parLLor.
Somebody give the man a groin massage
Sometimes, when I think about him

Guti gives me a tightness too.

No game recap from USSM or chart from LL yet.

I am going into withdrawal!

Dave got blacked out by MLB.TV and couldn't watch.
How can you get blacked out 3000 miles away?
They're in bed with the cable companies...

You’re lucky you don’t have to watch a 3 hour lecture on how stealing is wrong before it starts.

And it’s the same bullshit that means that you can’t watch a Mariners game on Saturday afternoon, because Fox is the only one allowed to broadcast games at that time…and they want to show the Yankees play instead.

I haven't had a blackout since I took four quaaludes and forgot I fucked Chantal Lutenberg
Think about the Felix Bobblehead to gain composure.
Yuni broke up Morrows no hitter

Words can not explain how happy this made me.

Best part?

It was a weak ground ball that scooted into shallow left field. In a turf stadium. Where Jack Wilson doesn’t play short.

He hit it hard
Not really, no.
They just showed the replay on FSN

It was basically a low line drive

Did he do it in a poorly executed way with t rex arms?
14,000 people in attendance tonight? Jeeze.
I can believe it...

Center field seats were absolutely empty.

I think we’re hitting the delayed reaction to a crappy team, plus a crappy economy. Plus people not caring about Griffey after last season wasn’t the last. A good pennant chase could change it, but if things doing go well this season ticket sales are will probably take a dive.

Seems so bi polar. One night there will be well over 30,000.. next night, nothing.
Not that strange.

Apr 12 – 45,876 (Opening Day)
Apr 13 – 18,043
Apr 14 – 15,978
Apr 16 – 39,999 (Bobblehead Night, Friday)
Apr 17 – 31,647 (Military Coins, Saturday)
Apr 18 – 30,419 (Felix Hernandez Jerseys, Sunday)
Apr 19 – 14,528

And yes, it's true that April at home is often dead during the week anyway.
We aren't the only teams reporting lowest attendance records ever right now
We should have a no-game-thread Tuesday
I should have a no-game-thread Tuesday
Wouldn't it be great if 2008 happened all over again?

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