After Felix Hernandez struck out Nolan Reimold to end the game, he hugged Rob Johnson, turned around, and kissed both his arms. My girlfriend, looking on, said it was one of the douchiest things she'd ever seen. I disagreed.
What we didn't know at the time was that Felix has tattoos of his kids' names and birthdates on each of his wrists. That fact completely mitigates any douche factor and, if anything, makes Felix out to be kind of wholesome and humble.
But I disagreed anyway before I knew this, because I thought it made sense. Tons of players point skyward out of gratitude after they accomplish something on the field, an acknowledgment of the place or entity from which they believe they got their talent. Felix is one of them. And to me, at the time, kissing his arms was no different. If you're Felix's brain, you're thankful that God gave you talent, and that your arms know how to use it. You're thankful that your left arm can field, and you're thankful that your right arm can pitch.
So it seemed perfectly sensible to me that Felix would kiss his own arms in appreciation after a complete-game victory. "Thank you, arms, for making me a superstar." Absurd? Sure. But douchey? Nah. A douche doesn't know how to say thanks. Felix wasn't being boastful, I thought. He was just doling out credit.
The tattoos, of course, make this a non-issue. However, I maintain that, even without them, Felix could totally get away with kissing himself after wins. His body's that good, and there's nothing wrong with being grateful.
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I don't have a normal list of game notes tonight. I was getting caught up on some work during the first few innings, and by the time I was done all I wanted to do was sit back and watch Felix without a pen in my hand. So these are the five quick things I will say, pretty much from memory, and my memory blows:
1 recs | 54 comments
I'm pretty sure Rob is a stand-up guy
But he seriously makes me sad whenever I see him in the starting line-up.
Slurvey - April 22, 2010
To your point, this is a friend's response to a write up I did comparing Johnson and Johjima (basically "Johnson sucks; Johjima is better; this is stupid.").
He’s apparently a wonderful guy. But holy shit is he a fucking terrible baseball player.
harkening - April 22, 2010
Now now
He’s just a terrible baseball player relative to his peers. He is probably quite a bit better than many of us.
Jeff Sullivan - April 22, 2010
If someone offered me $400,000 minimum to play the game of baseball...
I might find a way to be better than Rob Johnson.
harkening - April 22, 2010
Making the necessary money does not mean you have the necessary skills.
Mariner John - April 22, 2010
Whoosh.
harkening - April 22, 2010
Nope.
I just have heard that argument many times before. I was well aware you weren’t serious.
Mariner John - April 22, 2010
Which is to say.
Sorry to be a dick.
Mariner John - April 22, 2010
It would be so much easier if he were just a douche.
Then nobody would feel bad for hating him.
Hopefulmsfan - April 22, 2010
But then he would feel bad for being terrible at everything.
And I can’t root against a guy who can’t succeed at any aspect of life. That’s just cruel.
MT Olson - April 22, 2010
I don't feel bad for hating him.
InSpokane - April 22, 2010
Me neither.
Fuck him.
sanford_and_son - April 22, 2010
Catchers are horrible
Almost all of them are god awful and there to frustrate fans. Rob Johnson probably doesn’t even make it in the top 5 worst mariners catchers. Maybe top 10 but barely.
Edgar for Pres - April 22, 2010
Every game Felix pitches solidifies him as my favorite Mariner ever.
I saw he gave up 9 hits tonight against the Orioles and I was wondering what happened but after going home and watching the game, he’s just unreal.
Hopefulmsfan - April 22, 2010
A complete game in which Felix surrenders one run (unearned) is something we consider an "off day."
Ponder that for a second.
harkening - April 22, 2010
But pointing at the sky makes sense...
A being overseeing the entire planet, every suffering, injustice, bruised knee, and Uwe Boll movie really, really cares about making your sports team win.
That’s the most important thing on the planet.
Sidi - April 22, 2010
Careful.
No religion.
harkening - April 22, 2010
I was trying to tread the line set by the intial post...
But you’re right.
Sidi - April 22, 2010
Which is the better defensive positioning?
3B: Lopez, 2B: Chone, LF: Tui
or
3B: Tui, 2B: Lopez, LF: Chone
Nojf33 - April 22, 2010
Based on skill set I'd say the 2nd option, but since Chone hasn't played the OF in a while I'd still go with option 1.
SethGrandpa - April 22, 2010
It might not be a bad idea to get Chone some time in left though.
Just in case he is needed there at some point.
Nojf33 - April 22, 2010
It would be stupid to move Figgins from a premium defensive position to LF.
Especially when you are replacing him with Tui.
Wilder. - April 22, 2010
Well Lopez would go to second.
Where he has been at least close to average. Tui just looks like an abomination in left.
Nojf33 - April 22, 2010
If Lopez were moved to 2B, Figgins would be at 3B.
Again, you do not sacrifice a premium defensive infielder to go to LF.
Plus Tui is not going to be starting in LF over Byrnes often. Tonight was a good night to give Tui some playing time with Felix on the mound. And one error doesn’t mean Tui is terrible in LF. I watched him all game and thought he played fine defensively.
Wilder. - April 22, 2010
I know that it will happen rarely.
But Ok, thanks. I just though a game or two in left might not be a bad thing for Chone, in case he is forced to play there sometime.
Nojf33 - April 22, 2010
JonBBT would like a word with you:
Link.
harkening - April 22, 2010
Thanks.
That’s why I read these blogs. Because I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Nojf33 - April 22, 2010
Chone is our full-time 2B except in emergencies.
This is one of the selling points for his contract.
But really, I’d go with 3B Loafie, 2B Tui, LF Figgy.
harkening - April 22, 2010
There is no way that's written into his contract.
They may have essentially said “we’re gonna keep you at one position” when he signed, but that really doesn’t mean much.
SethGrandpa - April 22, 2010
Depends on the starter really
Wak did the right thing here with Felix on the mound. If we were starting.. I dunno. Luke French for example, then you might want a more experienced, faster guy in LF. But with Felix you’re going to minimize the exposure of the outfielder while needing that double play unit working smoothly.
Bearskin Rugburn - April 22, 2010
It just occured to me, hours after the game.
Tonight’s lineup was basically a middle finger to the Orioles. I mean if I were a Baltimore fan and saw a lineup with Tui in LF and Sweeney htting 6th I’d think Wak was just messing with me.
Hopefulmsfan - April 22, 2010
We usually lose games where we put out 'white flag' lineups.
Last night was a refreshing change.
EnglishMariner - April 22, 2010
White flag lineup, except
Felix was pitching.
Paul AB - April 22, 2010
So anyone here on the east coast who watched the game
on MASN would have seen that the MASN viewership was split between who the player of the game was. 45% for Felix 10% for Jack Wilson and 45% for Louis Montanez.
levnclf - April 22, 2010
Lou Montanez very nearly single-handedly raped us
seattlebruin - April 22, 2010
The first time I read this, I thought Felix turned and kissed Johnson's arms.
In which case I’d have to say Jeff’s girlfriend was right.
diderot - April 22, 2010
cERA?
Adam B - April 22, 2010
giffed for your convenience
Jeff Sullivan - April 22, 2010
"What we didn't know at the time was that Felix has tattoos of his kids' names and birthdates on each of his wrists. "
hey! my guess was right!
msb - April 22, 2010
Yeah I kind of assumed he had some tattoos on his wrists that he was kissing
He wears long sleeves most the time because of this I was guessing. I was thinking they were crosses or something but kid’s names is better.
Still it scares me that I am a year older than Felix and he has become an elite SP and has a family before I have even gotten out of school.
Edgar for Pres - April 22, 2010
I had no idea Felix had 2 kids already.
Considering that and his other achievements he’s made by the age of 23, really makes my 26 years looks like an utter waste. That’s why he’s the king, though.
sanford_and_son - April 22, 2010
I'm pretty sure Felix wears the long sleeves to absorb sweat
So it doesn’t get down to his hands and bother with his pitching grips and all that.
Aly Edge - April 23, 2010
Fun game
I ended up going to the game last night. It was fun, mostly because going into it I thought it would be a very boring 3 hours. It wasn’t though, it was a boring 2 hours and 10 minutes. They surprised me. Watching the fans actually get pumped up for Felix to come out for the ninth was awesome as well.
I'mSureI'veSeenWorse - April 22, 2010
Best part of the game though...
The best part of the game was noticing that on the screen under Ichiro’s name they had the “get to know you” questions and Ichiro’s answer to who his favorite baseball player of all-time was Mike Sweeney.
I'mSureI'veSeenWorse - April 22, 2010
Huh.
Seriously?
Fearless Frog - April 22, 2010
I'm trying to convince myself Ichiro! is trolling us,
making him even more awesome than he was before.
Jed MC - April 22, 2010
Apparently his favorite superhero is Junior.
BrianL - April 22, 2010
That is not trolling, that is flat out being awesome
seattlebruin - April 22, 2010
Trolling would be Ichiro saying his favourite player is Rob Johnson.
EnglishMariner - April 23, 2010
Now I get why I love Rob Johnson!
Dewey N - April 22, 2010
Even Bradley is getting in on the hugfest
He likes us, he really does.
Edgar for Pres - April 22, 2010
ESPN needs to get off Bradley's dick. Seriously.
Allen Wu - April 23, 2010
"being on his dick" means they really, really like him
you know they don’t right?
seattlebruin - April 23, 2010
Maybe they use teeth
Jeff Sullivan - April 23, 2010
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