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Lookout Landing

4/24: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Griffey!

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2nd!
Whoopsadoodle!
Never,

never

do this again

Surely,

a joke?

This is unneeded 30 minutes later
Jeff are you a skinhead
The Vin Diesel look.
Because of the oi
I've been liking the 'oi'

Makes me feel more at home.

I'm just scared he's going to glass me
I watched American History X again recently
Now I am scared you are going to curbstomp me
That was actually the only part I watched
What the fuck
I was inspired by the Domino's spoof
Blech, such a gross scene.
Are you kidding, they bitched out

It should’ve been a slow-motion close up instead of a quick cutaway

Right before you got the tattoo
I didn't mean the racist kind
Oi Oi Oi!
Brains for dinner, brains for lunch, brains for breakfast, brains for brunch

brains at every single meal why can’t we have some guts

I have a lot of hair now
That's not 'a lot'

unless you’re referring to… you know…

I haven't cut it in months
Time for a bris?
6th!
Never,

never,

do this again

Thought I'd try it out
You should figure out counting first
That was a poor thought
Never,

ever

try it again

Like a typical asshole just wanted a reaction
STOP CLOSING COMMENTS
I had a really good reply going too
Remember the mod that doesn't close comments!

Vote Matthew for PM of LL

So you're going to be our Pete Carroll and Jeff is our John Schneider?
Neither of them are awesome enough to pull that off.
This is why you are my favorite mod
I know who is going to win the 2010 Mod of the Year LLemmie!
No
Please?
I thought it would be cool if somehow there could be no more posts but comments on existing posts.

I’m not sure if this is even possible or desirable. Just a thought.

No new posts that is.
That is a great idea and I'll try to remember to mention it to SBN the next time they come around after fucking something up
"For a big man, Doug Fister has a very good move to first base"

“Excuse me, I’m just going to lean over you to get to that shelf there… (smooch)”

They sure are talking about height a lot
And Shaq is known for... other... things

yeah, there’s a huge homoerotic subtext in this broadcast

Rapping! Big feet!
Self-appointed nicknames!
Why do they keep talking about Shaq?

This is the second time this game.

Stop talking about Shaq!
Shaq's pick-off move would be awful

ly fun to see.

Why do we need Gameday if were watching the game, fox?
WOOO DP DP DP DP
Sweet. Let's get a run bros?
STRIKE 'EM OUT THROW 'EM OUT!
WAIT ROB CAUGHT THE BALL AND THREW IT ACCURATELY???
These announcers are enabling me to redefine "inanity".
Niiiiice Strike out throw out.
Strike 'em out, throw 'em out!
89 mph meatball down the middle.
Nice end to the inning!

Too bad Rob Johnson and Tui are due up.

Did was Rob Johnson just involved in a good play?

Is this really happening?

Now I hate him for failing to confirm my bias about his defense!
I just don't get you, Doug Fister.
Rob Johnson is the best catcher ever!
I was actually going to go with "Rob Johnson isn't completely useless."

Same sentiment, less overstatement.

Fister can probably go 8.
Runs

Score them.

You guys were so far ahead of the TV there.

What the hell!?!?!?!

I get it, I wasn't live.
Cool DP.

I’m starting to really trust Fister (whereas I completely distrust Snell).

Doug Fister is truly a man of many mysteries...
At the very least

Tui isn’t completely embarrassing himself

There's still time
Hopefully not too much though. He's not hitting, after all.
We addressed Doug Fister's success in our most recent podcast!
I coudn't get past the catchy intro.
There goes Freddy G
I wonder how much coke Felix will snort this weekend
Off your ass?

Probably a couple of lines.

Too much of a good thing is never enough
Sweet its Sergio Santos
Wait Sergio Santos is a pitcher now?
Yeah, he ran out of options

so they made him a pitcher.

What the fuck was that all about
Guy who makes the great play to end the inning always comes up to lead off the next
I find the fact that so many White Sox fans wear black to be intimidating
The Oakland Raiders of baseball
It was that movie with John Cusack
Anything to make the Cubs fans hate them more.
I can't believe we traded that old fart of a manager for a starting LF
How many times has a manager been traded for a player?
I am so glad that Lou isn't still with this organization.
Two hits off of Freddy Garcia!

Unbelievable.

What is it with Seattle teams

and not being able to win on the road? I’m pretty tired of this trend. Seeing the Rays win away from TB makes me sad :(

Winning on the road is always difficult and this team is built for Safeco
And the Hawks?
Winning on the road is difficult
And the Dawgs? And the Son....oh wait.
Have to travel longer distances than most teams as Jimmy Johnson once said...

Nobody wants to go play and live in Southeren Alaska.

Jimmy Johnson is a moron
With great hair and a great tan.
And a semi-functional penis
How do you know this?
His commercial
Not as humorous as I imagined
He coached the :(owboys
Don't you mean semi-sized penis?
With 2 Super Bowl rings
Oh well I guess he's not then
At least we're on pace for another draw.

I’ll take the point on road games

Please stop Matthew
Not gonna happen
If that is the case at least realize they would only be on pace for a draw if they were up by four with the bases empty and there two outs.
I will realize that when you realize how proper English works
Promise?
Confidently
This will easy pie.
I was trying to intentionally leave out "as" there and accidentally left "be"
out
Yeah I saw that one to
Never take points on the road for granted
Our team is quite heavily built around Safeco

In a stadium like this that’s just amplified.

We're picking up exactly where we left off in the first two away series!

Also, we’re making Cellular look like the Colosseum

And making Freddy Garcia look like Duscherer or Anderson
Even this idiot knows that starters are more valuable than relievers.
Fister has thrown 74 fastballs out of 88 pitches
He kind of reminds me of Greg Maddox.

He just has great control. He doesn’t need great stuff. He pitches intelligently.

Rob Johnson calls such a good game
Somehow this is all leading to the inevitable Andruw Jones walkoff
We've have 3 baserunners and 1 was an IBB
4
That's what I said
No I believe you said 3.
Reality does not care what you believe
I am looking at my screen and you clearly said 3.
I can't tell if you're trying to be funny or if your screen and/or vision is impaired
Go with the latter.
It's pretty clear who was the fool

I don't see why you need to screenshot something to prove I'm right

When the opening of the thread is right there

I didn't think it was necessary either

but here we are

Though to be fair I should'be put "had" instead of have
You're hurting my head
I still can't tell whether you were joking the whole time or actually thought I said 3
My brain hurts from this.
What the fuck
On October 9, 2009, McCarver released a cover album of jazz standards entitled Tim McCarver Sings Songs from the Great American Songbook.
To answer that idiot's question about how many Opening Day starters have been converted to relievers, I can present one:

Brett Myers with the Phillies.

That was phlawed logic then. It still is now.

Smoltz?
Smoltz had to do with him coming back with injury, and it's quite arguable that he wasn't the number one starter for the Braves at any point he was there.
Santos is throwing such deceptive pitches...

that Gameday can’t even pick them up.

Fister may be a better option than anyone but Aardsma at this point.

Sadly

League's pretty good.
Pitched quite a bit yesterday.
That was my point. Not talent.

Sorry if I made that not clear

Aardsma is the wrost possible pitcher to put out in this stadium.
Lowe didn't do much better
Yay, results-based analysis.

Aardsma is an extreme flyball pitcher who terrifies me every time he’s put in, even in Safeco with our defence.

No he's not
Man on first base, need a DP ball

time for…

He's not far off.
You could have Horacio Ramierez.
Please take out Fister after this batter.
Why?
Fourth time through the lineup is baaaad news.
Even against fucking Juan Pierre.
The Fister still hasn't had his moneyshot yet

The nerve!

This is dry well, no pun intended whatsoever
If we manage to win this game,

that would make up for yesterday in my mind

Another walk-off would hurt so bad.
Oakland all over again.
A breaking ball!
I don't like this
So I don't think Doug Fister is coming out of the rotation.
whew

barely foul

Is anyone up in the bullpen?
I hate how easily the White Sox get on base

compared to the Safeco Mariners

I don't get it.
EAT IT PIERRE
Let's score here please M's
Why is this becoming a thread?
Nice! Much needed pickoff
Nice pick off
I love pickoffs
Wooooooooooooo!
Cleveland takes the lead 3-1 in the 9th
Well technically they took it in the 8th but its the 9th now
That was absolutely perfect.
Yeah! Fuck you Juan Pierre!
WOO FISTED THROUGH 8!
On the plus, Tui has a solid arm
Doug fucking Fister.
Doug Fister is made of magical pixie dust.
He's just doing what he can to keep Rob Johnson's CERA down...
THE FIST IS GLORIOUS
!

That fist isn't very clean
Oh that bloody Fister
6 FINGERS!
Extra thumb is for pickin' fools off
Antonio Alfistseca?
These guys with good pickoff moves... like Andy Pettite. It's a good thing to have.
Unless its Ryan Franklin
John Halama's was pretty badass
Oh yeah. If you got on first it was like he had you in his trap.
So some runs here would be greatly appreciated.
On the downside, look who's leading off the ninth for the Sox...
I can guess without even looking
I wish this ballpark wasn't such a fucking joke
As can I.

fuck that guy.

Brett Anderson left today's game with tightness in his left elbow.

Stone’s twitter says.

Damn.
I'm OK with this
Although it would be nice if we hadn't already had to face him twice
Never like to see a good, young pitcher who is fun to watch get injured.

Even if it helps the M’s.

I find the Mariners winning fun to watch

and everything else not fun to watch

That's a strange philosophy on baseball.
Bad for my fantasy...

I mean. FUCK THE A’S!!

And Kurt Suzuki was scratched with some kind of pain in his side
This just makes me sad
Let's get a hit, Chone Mendoza
Eric Byrnes saved the game (so far)!
IF HE'D JUST CAUGHT IT WE'D BE WINNING RIGHT NOW
Please come through here, M's.

I’m gonna kill someone if Andruw hits another one.

I don't know if anyone else is listening to the to the White Sox broadcast

But they are consistently referring to our closer as “ARRRRRdsma” and singing “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.”

Now they are talking about Legoland
I think it might be more jarring to read about what these guys are talking about than actually hearing it.
What's the largest BA/OBP gap ever recorded?

Figgins must be challenging it.

Probably whatever Barry Bonds hit that year he had a .609 OBP
His IsoP that season was .247
I could watch Byrnes jump off that wall all day long
So, am I to gather that Freddy has turned into Jamie Moyer?
Nope.

He had good stuff.

I was just off Daves description of a mid-high 80s fastball, and a lot of creative slop.
In a world where Fausto Carmona beats Brett Anderson...
Damn that fat fuck.
You must be more specific.
Oh God it's going to happen again isn't it
COME ON LOPEZ BE A HERO
WE CALL THAT LOAFIE HERO MODE
IT IS OCCASIONALLY ACTIVATED
but only when the world is in great danger a only a FUCKING GRAND SLAM OFF JJ PUTZ can save it!
Did...Did they just compared Carolina and Chicago
What did they say...?
I just have a bad feeling about this game.
This is one of the only times

Jose Lopez is actually an asset

Jose Lopez is always an asset
This is actually true
GRIFFEY TIME!
Andruw Jones is like fuck that I'm not moving.
DAM IT LOPIE! DON'T PASS THE TORCH TO A RELIC!
Aw shit Junior's up
Junior!

DUE FACTOR

Oh good, it's all up to Griffey.

If this were 1997, I’d be excited.

Rizzs mentioned the hit of Zumaya

as though that was likely to happen again.

And Dave says "Power against power"

sigh.

If this were 1997 our bullpen would be terrible.
I see what happened to Texas in Fenway

happening to us. Back-to-back walk-off XBHs

A sub prime fastball.
And yet, Jr still swings late.
Griffey doesn't qualify for a prime fastball any more.
Please Griffey, I gave up sex acts for you!

I’m going fucking insane.

That swing looked painful.
It's all up to the gut...
That was one ugly swing.
All right Lopez moved over....

So a grounder to 2B can score him

Loafie steal? That was unexpected
FUCK LOPEZ JEEZ
Now that was a good time for a steal
Agreed, not like Griffey has much of a chance at anything beyond a single
Stolen base for fat ass
Griffey, Jesus man

Just get a damn hit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_-NfKakS6A
We can only hope that the grounder to 2nd finds a hole.
Nope!

Loafie isn’t on first anymore.

JESUS CHRIST LOAFIE
"Power against power right here."

Haha.

Did that just happen?
Jose Lopez = Speed Demon
Now we just need that grounder to magically find a hole.
Lopez's legs work like Yuni's arms
They only look similar, they work differently
Not really, actually
Both acquire and peel bananas?
My favorite play is the catch he had of a Baltimore popup near home.

He covered ~80 feet and it took him 50 steps.

Good idea,

if pointless.

Junior don't fuck this up he stole for you
Whew....get the calls right Dave!
Haha I remember when I said this when I was really new.

Although mine was a little more harsh.

Griffey looks so bad up at the plate
WALK WALK WALK
GRIFF-WALK
Kotchman time!
Come on Kotch!
YES

Kotchman is better than Griffey

YES A REAL HITTER!
WALK! Kotch-Rocket Time!
LET'S GO SCREWBIE
WALK YES WALK!!!
COME ON KOTCH!
PINCH RUNNER
Jack Wilson oh this should be interesting
Phew walk. Let's go Kotch!
Best eyes in baseball right there
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
KOTCHMANNNNN!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
THANK CHRIST KOTCH

YES YES YES

HOLYSHIT HOLYSHIT HOLY SHIT
KOTCH YEAH BABY YEAH
KOTCHMAN I LOVE YOU
Kotchman yes!!!
THAT DUMB FUCK FAN
YAY DUMB FUCK FAN!
...And thank you fan!
FUCKING FAN INTERFERENCE
HELL YES!!! KOTCH ROCKET !!!!!!
HAHAHAHA STUPID FANS
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You fucking retard pay attention
YES YES YES

THANK YOU CASEY THANK YOU DUMBASS FAN

FAN INTERFERENCE FOR THE WIN THANK YOU
YES!!!!!! KOTCHMAN!!!!!!!!
Haha-fan interference.
Excellent call by the ump here.
Yay stupid fans!!!!
New Steve Bartman!
Fuck me Casey at the bat!
FUCK YEAH WHITE SOX FANS
Kotchman is awesome
DOES THAT COUNT AS A DOILIE?
That's like 11ty doilies.
God that guys is such a chode.
Hooray for idiotic fans!
It's Chicago, what do you expect?
Yay!

But shouldn’t that guy be batting fourth?

The only guy besides Guti slugging over .500

So, yes.

Yes, yes, yes! Chicago Fans never disappoint!
I just .... I love Casey Kotchman
OZZIE'S GETTING UPSET!
Quick! To the Twitter!!
He looks cranky.
What happened?
Dumbass fan picked up the ball as it rolled near him
Ball fair down the line, that's heading to the OF wall, fan interference, ump awards Wilson home
Kotchman RBI base hit, fan picked it up, another run crosses on interference
He had a "oh shit, my bad" as soon as he picked it up too.
Anyone wanna help out those without TV?
KOTCH ROCKET + FAN INTERFERENE + 4-2 MS
Double into the corner, fan grabs it, ump rules that Wilson would have scored anyways and sends him home, Guillen is angry.
Ball ripped down the first base line

While it’s going along the wall a fan picked it up. 3rd bas ump sent home Jack Wilson who was on first.

WE LOVE YOU WHITE SOX FANS!
Angels and A's being dominated.

Weee.

CHICAGO FANS!!!!!!!
Griffey the hero of the inning in a way for not completely fucking up
Big shout out to the Sox fans, thanks!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Bahahahahahahahahahahaaaa

Well, it’s not like Andruw Jones would have got anywhere near there anyway.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, FUCK YOU OZZIE!
How many times is Ozzie Guillen saying the word 'faggot' right here?
Every other word
I'm not the best lip reader, but I swear he just yelled "Fuck that Jell-O"
I really hope that he did
It looked like "Jay Mariotti" to me
Amazing. The fan probably thought he was giving them a ground rule double and saving a run.
This is my thought.

Normally thats the case. In a close game at your home park. Reach down and grab the ball.

Why are there always idiots who reach for the ball?
Not that I'm complaining
Because it's Chicago
This is great!
HAHAHA I <3 OZZIE
Dude there is no greater testament to Ozzie than the White Sox actually have sold advertisements for when he argues with the umps

“And if you have a dispute with your business, call…”

Go suck a cock, Ozzie
If Junior was still running they would have kept him on third.
God I love Casey Kotchman
I assume Gameday's "onfield delay" is Ozzie going apeshit?
And Culbreth wanting the fan gone
Keep that fan there! We need the runs!
Are they throwing the fan out yet?
Yeah, I'd be out of there too
Idiot's on twitter

And security can’t figure out to eject the guy.

CHEA BRO YOU SEE ME ON TV?>!
Hahaha the fan just got yanked.
Probably for his own safety.
Fortunately we have preciently stocked the game with thousands of other morons
HAHAHA THIS GAME ROCKS!
I thought that was automatic fan ejection.
It is

Culbreth pointed that out to field security, but apparently said “fan” had already taken off.

GOD DAMMIT

Now we’re going to have to suffer through Aardsma

C'mon, the guy has been practically flawless this year!
Except for that save he basically blew in Texas
Safe by a fucking mile to these eyes
The call at first was awful.

Byrnes beat it.

Eric Byrnes.

Please get a concussion somehow.

He was safe.

I don’t know why you are mad at him.

Because he is Eric Byrnes and regardless of him being safe he is still horrible?
Ahaha are you kidding me? He wasn't even close to out
Never thought I would be grateful to Fieldin Henry Culbreth III
So...our 1st basemen is the shit.
I never understood why this isn't a pejorative
Please capitalize

The Shit

What the fuck there was no way he was out
The umpires giveth, and the umpires taketh away.
Take that AJ! No walk-offs for you!
FUCKING MAKE UP CALL
Careful Byrnes. We don't want...

Who the fuck would play left if Byrnes got ejected?

Bullpen arm!
Figgins to LF, Lopez to 2B, Kotch to 3B, Sweeney to 1B?
Lefty throwing 3b?
I would say Adam Moore or Rob Johnson to third.
I literally have no better idea
Kotchman to left?
Rather have someone from the bullpen out there.
With Ichiro and Gutz out there you just shift Gutz to the left quite a bit
I wanna see Vargas in the OF.
Thought Kotchman I would sorta trust there.
Jesus the scary thing is that this would probably be what you'd go with
I thought that, but having one bad person out of position would probably be less of a cost than several out of position.
Wilson to SS?
I'd guess they throw Bradley out there for an inning if that's all it was.
Eric Byrnes and Bobby Jenks may be the douchiest looking batter-hitter combo in baseball
Then Jenks-Pierzynski is the douchiest pitcher-catcher combo ever?
Whoa yeah

That’s the three douchiest looking people within 61 feet of each other

Legitimately pissed offf!
Aardsma is gonna destroy. It's ok!
Right, because all signs of an extreme flyball pitcher with some serious HR/FB regression due in the Cell points to certain victory
Normally that fan would've been a hero.

Because they should of kept Wilson at 3rd.

Why? Wilson would have scored easily

He was halfway to third when the fan touched the ball. By the time Jones reached the ball, Wilson would already rounded third and headed for home

Because normally the ump won't make a judgement call and stop the runner at 3rd.

If you are ever in Safeco and this scenario comes up. Grab the ball.

I mean, that wasn't even a tough call
THE ONE TIME HE DOESN'T POPUP AND THE UMPS FUCK HIM OVER
I'm not that pissed about that call though simply because of the fact that Rob Johnson was on deck
Hey! A blown call!
Before that amazing turn of events, I was thinking to myself,

“You never know what’s going to happen. This is why baseball is exciting.”

That fan has now made more plays in the outfield than Milton Bradley
He's also somehow been flipped off less by Chicago fans
David could use a shave
He's growing it out for the hockey playoffs
Oh shit.

Game terrifying.

Love how Dave sounds like he's choking anytime he says "Swing and a miss"
Lets not throw a hanging slider here.
You don't have to worry about that with Aardsma
I know.

Thankfully.

Instead wild fastballs wooooooooooo!
DA's packing some heat
[citation needed]
Two more

This game cannot end soon enough

Sit DOWN...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY
That was yesterday
SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AJ!
97 mph? Chicago must have the fast gun
Pitch FX had him at

98 in the AJ AB

Hahaha! Go sit down Druw!
FUCK FUCK FUCK
REGRESSION WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I don't find Aardsma terrifying as a Ma--wow perfect timing to be typing that
Awful big surprise right there.
Fucking shit
Well, at least we had a two run lead
There goes the 0.00 ERA

man that extra run was HUGE

Plus Byrnes stopping the 3 run home run.
God, I hate Aardsma.
This is extreme
Well, it's a little irrational, but I have disliked him for a while.

I know that he’s a pretty good reliever by rational evaluation, but it seems like every time I actually WATCH him close, he is always trying to tightrope his way through the 9th inning.

It’s going to happen when your entire pitching strategy is fastballs up in the zone, all the time.

Only drops out WE% by 7.7%
Now adjust for Aardsma and the ballpark
It is adjusted for the ballpark
How big of an adjustment does Aardsma require?

I haven’t seen the pix. tnx

Thanks CWS fan!
Hmmmm......

Ok…………………………………………….(deep breath)

Now I'm scared
Huh. Lots of homeruns hit there.
Who could've seen that coming?
That was Dave's fault-- he'd just announced konreko hadn't got a ball out of the infield.
Always dangerous to type when everyone else is hitting 'post'
I kind of expected one of these. That's why they needed the 2 run lead.
Aardsma!

Understatement, sir
More like this

Instant Vertigo
The one I posted is made of wood and in North Korea
Well at least it doesn't run then
That looks like fun!
That's about right
Looks like fun.
I can't stop staring at this picture.
I went to the park where this is when I was a kid

Unfortunately I was also terrified of heights and would not go on it.

Not steep enough sir
.

Win expectancy?
That's the Jimmy Clausen Memorial Free-Fall Ride
I rode that!

It stops right at the top there

I know, it's awesome.
At least that was their last good hitter. . .
Throw your splitter you ass fuck.
After that I'm kind of pissed about that Byrnes play.

I’d hate it if that was a make-up call, because of course there was no bad call to begin with.

"Swing and a miss. But that was a good swing. One of the best we've seen from A.J. recently."

I love the CWS announcers. They were being totally serious too.

"A,J, with his shortest swing of the year. This might actually help him after today's game."
Bangladesh!
Yikes that was scary right off the bat.
I'll bang your ladesh!
This is making me very nervous
Aardsma: more Fastballs?

Rob Johnson: MORE FASTBALLS!

It could be worse

We could have Fuentes or Fransisco

Just one more. Come on.
Every hit off of Aardsma gives a heart attack
Dooooooooooooon't

fuck this up

Finally Aardsma is back.

Getting hit hard, scaring the shit out of everyone.

This is what DA does! High fastballs and let's see what happens!
I think I'm way ahead of you guys on the broadcast
Are we in the 10th yet?
Hoory offspeed strike!
Doug Fister is channeling our thoughts hahaha
M's WIN!!!!

phew

You are terrible
This is kind of jackass-ey to say right now
For exactly this reason
Results based analysis
Go play in traffic.
This was not at all funny.
Okay

This is bad.

JESUS H

Christ.

So I understand Bartman has moved to the south side of Chicago.
We don't need Quentin up to bat....at.....all
Yeeeeeeeeeeeesh.
Oh boy, let the fun continue.
Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god Oh god
Game officially interesting!
No walkoff no walkoff.
The face of Mariner fans everywhere
and also literally Ian Snell's face
I was really worried after that walk
David if you blow this.

I will post the picture of your penis on the internets.

Time for cockshots!
Damn I don't have it!
You know what you have to do, Scruffy.
GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
GOODNESS GRACIOUS!
Game extremely terrifying.
The 6 foot 8 Alexis Rios is up to bat.
Wow, he is tall. 6'5"
JESUS JUST LET US ESCAPE FROM THIS
THAT WAS NOT A STRIKE
You all are so far behind
Fister's watch is gayer than gay
FASTBALL!

Big surprise…

Predictable.
SHIT SHIT SHIT
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Fuck me.

2 games in a FUCKING row.

Sooner DA is out of the closer role though
MOTHER FUCKING SHIT
My heart.... I can't... take... any... more.....
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

FUCK

ARGGGGHHHHH
I cannot fucking believe this
What did I tell you guys

TWO IN A ROW

FUCK!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING
Does DA have another pitch?

Or is he just a fastball pitching machine?

Just fastballs.
FUCK YOU AARDSMA
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
I'm drinking bleach

Anyone wanna glass?

There is no god.
NO FUCKING WAY
Hey wow US Cellular is a major home run park
That had nothing to do with the park
Can't see, only going by Gameday...and the amount of homers in this series, which is exactly as ridiculous as predicted.
That's a home run in any park
That was pretty crushed though.
Those 2 HR's were crushed.

Wouldn’t of mattered where we were.

Wouldn't have, friend.
DA is a horrible pitcher when he only throws a fastball.
I WANT TO KILL SOMEONE
You can't be this upset....It was just damn near an expectation after that walk that he'd serve it up.
Brandon League time!
Only if he throws a splitter.
I saw it for the first yesterday

OH MY GOD

This just sucks.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

GOD FUCKING DAMIT!

HAHAHAHAHAHHA JESUS
I know, right?

Comedy!

I hate baseball.

Why the hell do I put myself through this?

Wonder how close we are to a new closer...
NEVER MOTHERFUCKING USE DAVID FUCKING AARDSMA IN FUCKING COMISKEY
I really don't want to see Aardsma close a game in the playoffs.
Why hello there, regression
Those were legit homers too!
Not like Jose Lopez homers?
Not like Jose Lopez homers
No, these were home runs with testicles
Rather than a clitoris
FUCK YOU AARDSMA! FUCK YOU!
HEY I KNOW LETS ONLY PITCH FUCKING FASTBALLS IN HR PARK

NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

So this was interesting

#5 looks awesome
I think it rises.
That's a ball to Yao Ming
Whereas #4 is a ball to Inch High, Private Eye?
There's a blast from the past.
This makes me feel even worse
ERIC BYRNES THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT
RUSSELL OKUNG FOR CLOSER
I just knew this would happen. Fuck.
So fucking predictable.
Fuck you Aardsma.
This one was way more painful than last night. :(
And way more predictable!
Absolutely...maybe that's why I'm not upset. I had the remote in my hand and ready to change the channel.

And the pitch…crack of the bat…channel changed. Pretty simple.

Same here. Crack then tv off.
This is so fucking stupid.
ALL HAIL BRANDON LEAGUE
Okay, I'm gonna go drown in misery.

Talk to you people later.

Remember though, us Aardsma skeptics are full of shit
Aardsma is full of shit
I'm not sure last year even happened
See what happens when I try to be rational, when you say I am being extreme?

I’m not sure this translates out to the blown save being your fault, but it might.

We're gonna get swept by the fucking White Sox.
I knew was going to happen the moment we traded for League

I’m excited!

I'm gonna cry, I don't care
Screw off, Bullpen
At least Anaheim is behind and Oakland lost
Moral victories sucks ass
suck*
your oral promiscuity is not a valid topic for discussion

oh wait it is

You have got to be kidding me.
Yeah ok. Let's put down Aardsma. Because he really deserves it.
I am confused by this statement.
Sarcasm.
Hm well let's agree to disagree then.

I don’t see how you can let off your closer for giving up two mammoth home runs.

He did kind of blow the game.

I mean, I don’t hate him or want to abduct his children, but seriously now: pumping fastballs down the middle to Carlos Quentin at US Cellular…this is not a scenario destined for a happy ending.

He walked Carlos Quentin
The posts up above just make it look like Aardsma has been sucking for awhile, which he hasn't.
Yeah, he kind of has
So we are completely discrediting last season?
Last season, where he gave up a thousand warning track flyballs in Safeco Field?
The good results were still there.
Results based analysis!

Woo!

You don't analyze based on results
No but he wasn't great for all of last season and regression has to be expected.
He has been terrifying for a while though.
This is a good idea because he does.
Hey, Fox switched over to the Angels getting rocked.

All better now!

I completely refuse to believe what just happend
I can't even process it
I've been waiting for that since last year actually.
Yeah seriously...he must be new or something.

Christ, I’ve seen the bottom fall out so many times I forget what it feels like to have a floor.

That's because there isn't one!
1995 + 2010 =

REFUSE TO BELIEVE BIG

This is Sweeney's fault
New plan: Griffey hits against Aardsma

LLentmas averted

I'm still calling a GB to second
Like he could catch up to Aardsma's fastball.
woah, were you not listening to the analysis

You can’t give him a sub-prime fastball. Especially thigh-high

Griffey can't catch up to a 95+ fastball.
Is it football season yet?
The Sounders do have a game tomorrow.

And yes, I know you are talking about the Seahawks.

Second City Derby!
Oh thank god the Sounders are playing

I was getting tired of watching the Mariners lose at the last possible second.

We'll lose 2-0 tomorrow...no late goal to ruin our day any further.
I don't understand why Aardsma can't throw a pitch at least NEAR the zone when he gets ahead.

Maybe if he had Brandon League’s splitter this wouldn’t be a problem? Or if you just give League the job after Aardsma gets shelled a few more times, we can figure out who will close a playoff game at Yankee Stadium.

I'm empty right now
Well I think I got my duplicity in for the week
If someone wants to call and console me, please do.

(541)255-5027. I’m Luke. I’m sad.

Did you seriously just post your actual phone # on LL?
Those calls cheered me up slightly.
I'm going to write your number

in every bathroom stall in Ellensburg and all up and down I-90.

Apparently, he's in Oregon.

The lonely truckers and bored college students will have an issue getting to him.

If they're bored enough

they’ll call or drive to Oregon. After all, they are truckers. “I’ve got a load of sows in the back, you wanna hop in my cab?”

Oh man why would you do this
People always freak out when I post my phone number on the Internet.

To this day, I have received a grand total of zero unsolicited phone calls.

Yeah, but you've never done it on LL.
Yeah but it sounds like you solicit a lot of calls.
Someone has called me!

They are playing a sad, sad song.

Robert?
Already took care of it.
Someone else called!

They told me to catch my (running) refrigerator.

Seen Prince Albert lately?
The correct response is to post the incoming call numbers
I thought of this so I called the song.
What the fuck
I thought of this so I called from the store.
One was "Unknown"

The other gave a number but I am a nice guy who doesn’t post phone numbers of people who, unlike me, don’t want phone calls.

Wait till the truckers get to it
Unknown is me

Government line!

If you heard someone crying it probably was Aaron
I don't really care about the Mariners at the moment
I was alluding to the fact that you like to cry
Yeah that's far unhealthier than your reactions to things
I love my rants.
I don't think this is what Matthew had in mind to make GT's better
I want to text you something.

But fear my number will end up on this site.

I want your number so go through with this
Robert's and acblue's haven't.
I didn't call him
A third call!

It’s another song. It is cheering me up ever so slightly.

A fourth call!

This time the song was the Bill Nye The Science Guy theme!

I want to rec the caller.

But since I can’t, I’ll rec the comment.

Bill Nye the Science Guy (Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!) [Science is cool…] Bill Nye the Science Guy

Bill Nye your mom's a guy

Ahhh middle school seems so long ago.

Excuse me while I hide from Bill Nye jokes.
My high school bio teacher was Bill Nye's niece.
At least the six man bullpen will be fresh for tomorrow...

remember, you’re only two days away from needing all six men in the bullpen.

Six?
Assuming they don't run Aardsma out

tomorrow to give up two more homers. Other wise, they can use all seven.

I'm still stunned right now.
CLIFF MOTHERFUCKING LEE
Not now man... not now...
Fister pitched like Lee probably will today and we still lost.
... because Aardsma finally regressed?
Whatever happened to that Josh Fields fellow.

Thanks for missing all of 2008 cause you had to hold out on signing. You douche.

Yeah how dare he try to make as much money as possible
He's done nothing professional to deserve holding out and trying to make the most money possible.

I hate players like him.

Well I guess I just hate Boras.

Not Fields.

You're signing your life away.

You can’t really blame him.

He has every right to maximize his earning power.

Players get absolutely fucked on value until their first free agent contract and a lot can happen between signing and free agency. It is entirely possible his rookie signing bonus is the only big paycheck he will ever get.

Evan Longoria got absolutely raped by his contract
He actually chose to sign it though.
Yeah.

Fuck making a few million dollars a year to play a game!

I find it interesting that people expect professional athletes to accept less than their fair market value
And I find it interesting that people think economics are the chief factors in a rational decision.
What?
Do you think Longoria signed the contract because he thought it was fair market value?

I imagine he and his agent, given his priorities, thought it fit Longoria’s needs and desires. There was no invisible hand at work here. Longoria chose to sign it because he felt it fit him, which suggests that raw economic value wasn’t his chief concern. This means it was not the prime factor in his decision-making process.

There are any number of values to the contract for Longoria. He likes the organization; he feels he doesn’t need gobs of money personally, and is happy to play the game; he has decided he likes living in Florida. Or he has a personal moral dilemma with the size of MLB salaries. I don’t know, but the reality is a human is making this decision, not a machine.

I don’t have a problem with athletes seeking “fair market value.” I get annoyed with the booing of A-Rod here in Seattle. He was offered gobs of money, and he took it. Good for him. But to suggest Longoria was “raped” while making millions of dollars all the same? When he chose to sign it? Sorry, I can’t buy that verbiage. There were other factors in his and the team’s decision.

That is not at all the impression I got from your first comment.

And while I agree with parts of what you say, Longoria is making far, far, far less than his fair market value for a very long time. That’s unusual.

You're right wow.

I’m still amazed he would take that deal knowingly though.

It's pretty amazing, I'll grant.

But, personally, were I in his position, I’d probably sign it, too. Maybe he likes the simple life. I just don’t know. I know I personally don’t have any great ambitions of millions of dollars. I’m content with being upper middle class. And even league minimum throws a player into the top 3% of earners.

I just find it weird that we are surprised when athletes do this. It’s like we have this underlying expectation that everyone is out for the money. Technically, even Ichiro signed a lowball contract. His value versus earning on Fangraphs is 2:1. People aren’t raw economic computers. They don’t calculate the break even point. They have different values and expectations.

I think he knows how much a million dollars actually is...

“And knowing now that I’m pretty much set for life, that’s just very assuring to me,” Longoria said. “The money is one thing. … What I wanted was to be set and just worry about going out and playing the game and winning.”

And I got fucked when I got my first full time salary job out of college I guess?

When I graduated college I could do everything I do now and I make at least 20k more than when I originally started.

I do not feel bad for any baseball player.

I'm not saying you should feel bad for him

I am saying that thinking negatively of him for seeking fair compensation is bizarre.

I agree with this.
I don't think negatively of him.

I hate Boras.

He tried to do us a favor.
And then he had to have that oblique injury and get his mechanics out of whack.

Fucker.

Alex Rios walk off home run....you will probably never read that again, anywhere, ever

Aardsma just channeled Brandon Morrow

Why didn't we move Aardsma while he was still shiny.
I wonder how the Mets are doing...
At least Oakland and LA/CA/Anaheim lost
Which makes our loss today suck even more.
Apparently the glass is half empty with you
Glass?

hmmmm, the sun’s over the yardarm ….

It is actually half-full.

But it’s nitroglycerin.

Nah. It's fully empty.
Let's look at the positive

Kotchman came up big, clearly proof that Wakamatsu’s Belief System works and slotting him down in the 6 spot is a stroke of genius. Tomorrow he should bat 8th, to take the pressure off him even more, and maybe he can go 2 for 4.

The satire here is too close to reality for me to laugh.

It kinda make me want to cry.

And throw things.

The other good news is now that the game is over we no longer have to listen to Tim McCarver.
And we get to see Sweeney DH tomorrow too...

maybe he’ll bat clean-up.

Byrnes beat out that play at first, no question about it really.

I doubt Johnson does much after that though.

Clearly you don't have faith in the Belief System.
Mike? Mike Blowers, is that you?
No question about it
Come trade deadline I hope Z works some magic to get us some more offense.

Without crippling us elsewhere hopefully.

Good luck :(

Who needs a trade deadline?

Rational roster management with the pieces we have available in Tacoma can give us a boost right now.

Like who? No one is exactly tearing it up in Tacoma right now.

Besides Josh Wilson.

Hannahan up, Sweeney gone, Langerhans up to platoon with Byrnes, Griffey benched (11-man bullpen), Bradley DH.
Yeah that would work.

I just see it highly unlikely for now.

Shame.

Is there any history of a manager not using his closer in parks that are a terrible match for the type of pitcher the closer is?

I mean, something about this didn’t even surprise me at all. After he walked that guy I just braced myself for it so much that I didn’t even react to it with the typical anger. I mean, the ball is flying out and it’s the home run guys in the order. I’d love to see a non-flyball pitcher out there with the two run lead. Managers don’t want to destroy the confidence of their closer, but damn it if putting him in a position to fail doesn’t kill confidence. The guy just isn’t the same with short walls, he gets less aggressive some times. For good reason, too. The guy gets fucking shelled deep.

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