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Lookout Landing

4/26: Open Game Thread, Part 2

I suppose that, if you're going to lose to the Royals on Felix Day, you might as well get no-hit.

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Comments

WHY IS THAT A STRIKE FOR DAVIS BUT NOT FELIX???
Kendall sucked the umpire's dick.
No, Jack. No.
If Wak is giving these bunt signs he needs to be shot.
HACK BETTER DAMMIT
I suppose that our offense blows
Great at bat.
This is where Johny Slick says he thought Asians were supposed to be smart
Ichiro you've got this
Should it just be

If you’re the Mariners, you might as well get no-hit?

So, I hear Ian Kinsler will rejoin Texas for the Seattle series.
Boo.
There's quite a nice addition on our side, too.
How many times

has the same team been no hit multiple times in one season. We might do it.

Go beariners!
Royals announcers don't give a fuck about jinxes

but are douchey in every other way

Too bad they fucked it up.
Yeah Ichiro isn't really much of a hitter
Haha I told you fuckers
OR A ICHIRO CHOPPER!
Fuck your no-hitter
Well, that turned this game into a less interesting loss.
Hahahaha

YES. Fitting.

Sorry, whoever said it,

Ichiro in the 6th, one inning off

AAAAAAhahahahahahaahahahaha

Suck on that Royals!

BOOM

GAME OVER

That's an annoying way to lose a no hitter
Phil Hughes has seen more annoying ways.
Do SOMETHING positive Chone.
I love you, Ichiro.
Kyle Davies deserves to have his no-hit bid broken up in doily fashion
Thank you, Dave Sims.
HAHA IN YOUR FUCKING FACE DAVIS!
His name is Davies
Maybe he was referring to a different person.
That Ichiro will break it up in the 7th was pretty close.
CALL THE DOUBLE STEAL
Delayed reaction, but...

YES!

My god the fucking bunts.
Figgins can't even make contact on a bunt...fucccccccck
IF YOU BUNT FIGGINS BY GOD I WILL BUY YOU A TEDDY BEAR!
Is this a threat or a reward?
You try hating Figgins enough to hurt him.
You cannot possibly imagine the extent of my capacity to hate
Is that a...threat?
I hope it's a bearchone!

Weird
I knew it would come in handy
You were saving this?
Now lets end the shutout.
Ichiro=JD Drew
Its not the 8th
And we are not the Red Sox
No but the Red Sox are us.
Ichiro's only been on the DL once though...
How the fuck is John Parrish still in the Majors?
He's left-handed, isn't he?
Surprisingly he wasn't that bad!
Walk to load the bases, and then Guti Slam.
Time to be worried about Figgins is when?
Watching Ichiro run for days

Seems like it might get old, Blowers. But, it is Ichiro, so I guess it would be interesting.

It looks like the scouting report on Figgins is "Throw Strikes"

Take away the walks and he’s helpless

He's the anti-Yuni,
Same power though
Or he's unlucky so far
Figgins is going to go deep here
FIGGINS. PLEASE BREAK OUT OF YOUR SLUMP NOW.
Gutierez.... 3 run homer to deep right.
Yes! another Felix-Guti lovefest would make my day
You have no faith in Figgy.
D'awwwwwwwwwwwww
I'll hold you too it
An opposite field HR ehh?
Hey, if i'm going to predict the unlikely...

I must as well predict something exceedingly unlikely.

Fuck you Chone.

Seriously.

It was a borderline strike.
Well this is going well.
I disagree!
.

Well this is going well

NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BREAK MLB.TV
MLB.TV STOP FREEZING.
What's happening?!
Absolutely nothing.
1-1 on Guti.
This is not good to hear.
Gutierrez is definitely going to see strikes

They don’t want Lopez to come up!

He hit a grand slam!
99 pitches...

Which means the Royals’ bullpen is coming soon. Surely we can hit them.

Can't handle the Farnsworth heat!
I'd be pretty happy if Guti let his chinstrap grow into a west PA special
Doesn't that only happen in

Georgia bars?

Either I don't undersand you

or we’re talking about different things. I bet on the former.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Roethlisberger
If Felix gets the loss here I'll kill Robert
Deal

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes

Oh jeez I dunno if I have what it takes to kill someone
That might have been a ball.
Coolest. Sign. Ever.
Averaging almost 5 pitches per at bat.

And 2 walks. Wow.

2 walks per at-bat seems a little much.
At least we have a good isolated patience for this game
I've had enough of Guti's douchebeard.
I will admit it appeals better to the senses of touch, taste, and smell rather than sight
It does look pretty ridiculous.
I want to believe he is growing it out until Griffey hits a home run.
Who the fuck is wearing a banana?
Yuni's fan?
Doesn't seem like he'd want to distract him that much.
Soon to be Yuni's meal
The guy next to the guy in the ape costume.
What if I promised Guti I would give him a million dollars to get a hit right here?
I dunno, try it.
Is Davies taking that much time between pitches?

Because watching this on Gameday is agonizing.

Hey, the bannana again!
I think this is the most depressing stadium in the majors.
Oakland??
I think I can hear a generator running in the background or something
(On the FSN feed)
Worse than Oakland?
Have you been to Oakland?
No, no. We just left U.S. Cellular Field

This game is at Kaufmann Stadium.

No, U.S. Cellular is the most hilarious stadium in the majors.
It's at least a nice looking park

The Coliseum is horrible

Tied with Oakland.
Impossible

Kauffman is gorgeous and Oakland is the worst.

I agree. i was talking about the attendance.
I can't even hear random cheering or idle chatter
Blame the rain
Thanks for the tip, Milli Vanilli
I deliberately did not word it that way
Why?
To see if it would get this response anyway
That's what I'm here for.

That’s what I’m here for.

I am a scientist
I thought you were a professional ex-scientist
I am a social scientist
I perform science on people
So you're a doctor
Not that kind of science
Mad scientist?
I mean yes
I find doctors sexy
He's just claiming to be a doctor so he can see penises.
This reminds me of the time you talked about having kids.
I'll just move in with him if he ever gets the urge.
You're a blogger
DAMN YOU MLB.TV.
GUTI JUST HIT A 3 RUN HR!
This is a really annoying trend and I'd love it if it stopped
This, and everyone and their mother guessing what's going to happen every at-bat.
Don't swing!
HE LISTENED TO ME!
Davies down to 89 from 92-93

or was that his cutter?

This at-bat reeks of likely heartbreak
If Guti doesn't get a hit, we're doomed.
Looks like I came in at the right time
I smell a Jose Lopez grandslam
We can only hope.

After our last 3 losses, its about time we get some good karma. We lost 3 games to last second insanity, so we should have some good karma due to us.

Boy oh fucking boy.

Lopez time.

Its so nice to be able to pay money and watch Mariners games on my computer.

Oh wait.

What a fucking at bat. Amazing.
Don't fuck this up Loafie.
Dag y'all we got a baseball game going!
Damnit I did not want a walk
9 pitch walk. Daaaayuuummm
This has been a nice AB.
Loafie do that grand slam thing again
Another Lopez slam?

Please?

We need that spark if we want to start winning.

...

Yay Guti walk

boo Lopez now

1st pitch swinging GB to 3B.
Kyle Davies is an anagram for Dykes Alive
Look at Yuni trying to contribute in the huddle
Farnsworth, please!
That was a great at bat by Gutz
Kotchman should be the one hitting right now.
Make me like you, Jose.
Fuck you, Jose.
HACK HACK HACK
I'm calling a popout, groundout, weak home run, or strikeout here
This is awkward
I'm calling a ground ball, fly ball, line drive, or strikeout.
Davies scouting report on Lopez: Throw two feet outside.
FUCK YOU RADIO ANNOUNCER
BAAAALLLLLLLLLLS
.

Davies: Oh Noes! The bases are loaded!
Yuni: Que?
Kendall: Eh, it’s the Mas. They won’t score.

Hey Loafie, why not swing more?
DAMNIT LOPEZ
First pitch!
BAHAHAH, fuck the Mariners
Well fuck he almost had that
Warning track power doesn't work outside of US Cellular.
Mike pulled a Niehaus!
There you go, chief.
FIRST FUCKING PITCH SWINGING.

I FUCKING HATE YOU, FAT FUCKING FUCK.

Eh

He got a fat fastball. Not going to blame him for that.

Well then I hate him for not crushing it then.
He pretty much did.

Wind, cold, weather. Can’t hit it much harder.

Conditions today are lousy for righties.
Dammit.

That’s out in Chicago though…

Near-warning track power!
Well it was a good pitch to swing at..
It was the only pitch to swing at.
Jose Lopez would be more entertaining if he weren't so predictable.
What happened
Jose Lopez swung on the first pitch and skied it to Podsednik in left.

3 LOB

Fly out to Scotty Pods on the first pitch.
To anyone mad at Lopez for swinging on the first pitch:

That was a meatball. He put a good swing on it. It would have been bad to let that pitch go by.

It was gone if the wind was blowing the opposite way too.
But a cleanup hitter should be able to punish a meatball.
He did.

The wind was just going against where he hit the ball. Not his fault.

But at least he swung at it
It looked like he hit it so hard though
That is out at U.S. Cellular
That's a Chicago homer
YEAH

LETS ALL GET ANGRY AT LOPEZ FOR SWINGING AT A FIRST PITCH MEATBALL AND HITTING IT TO THE WARNING TRACK

I WANT TO BE ANGRY WITHOUT APPLYING ANY CONTEXT OR SUBTLETY TO MY OPINIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I hate people who hate first-pitch swinging
I hate haters
I hate hater haters
What are trying to say?
It's all the newbies.
And Matthew cracked.
Meh.

Some of us are watching on Gameday and only see the blue dot with “In play, out(s)” before knowing what actually occurred.

But you can see the pitch
Still don't know what kind of swing he put on it.
I think the only one where we know for sure what kind of swing it is without looking is Byrnes.
HEAVEN FORBID YOU WAIT FOR MORE INFORMATION BEFORE YELLING THEN

MY BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm angry because I loved him.

But he’s disappointing me.

Loved?

you’re fired

I was just upset we didn't score any runs.
Eh, a lot of it's just GTE.

We finally have a few baserunners, we just had two batters walk in the inning and Lopez, who’s been pretty terribad when there’s runners on base this year, swings at the first pitch and gets out. It’s understandable in my opinion.

DAMIT GUYS LOPEZ DID GOOD THERE! IT'S JUST BAD LUCK CHILL OUT!
I wonder if you would have posted this if not for Matthew's comment
I should not have now. I posted right before it popped on my screen.
Is there a delete button?
Trying to hard...
Trying to hard what?
Kinda difficult to get hard when Mariners are doing this poorly
Nope

Most requested SBN feature maybe. Only mods can delete comments.

A delete button is a terrible idea.

As much as I want one, it would make comment threading damn near impossible

I agree.

People need to live with their mistakes. They can be funny to link back to, as Goose proved the other day.

Pfft. It's "Pasco's own Jeremy Bonderman", Angie.
Feli would have likely been ok with Lopie going ahead of him in the GrandSlam stakes if it meant he finally got the lead.
At least Rob Johnson is normal
Felix is getting quite a bit of movement on his pitches tonight according to my Johnsonmeter
Your what
He's getting wood, is what he's saying.
(passed balls by Rob Johnson+size of my erection)/2
Off the charts!
Is there a special bonus for passed balls on third strikes that are then thrown into right field?
The lower half of my body says yes
The weather supposed to be nice the rest of the series at least?
Anyone following the NBA playoffs?
Roy Halladay's dominating the NL?

Colour me surprised.

I've been trying to find a surprise-colored crayon for ages now
You'll find it when you least expect it.
HACK HACK HACK!
Oh my dear sweet what the fuck
Rob Johnson

Is not good.

Nice work Rob Johnson!

You’re terrible!

GOD ROB JOHNSON WHY DON'T YOU GO DIE SOMEWHERE
Wow way to blow the strikeout
RJ: He can't hit or catch, but then again he can't throw
For gosh sakes Rob.

it was Yuni.

That was funny twice
Great play Rob.
Professional baseball player!
Our old worst player gets the better of our new one*.

*Non-Mike Sweeney division.

I hate you like cancer, Johnson

Like cancer of the Johnson.

Fuck you Rob you god damn cockface.
This inning is just getting more awesome

By which I mean less

Suddenly this isn't as funny.
Does that still count as a K for Felix?
FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON YOU SWEATY PIECE OF GAY SHIT
Dumbest day in ever
For fuck sakes, Rob

Scotty Pods with two on

They ruled that a wild pitch, by the way
It was
Radio made it sound like Rob should have had it.
He should have made the throw
And it's not like Rob is likely to make up for it on the offensive side
Oh no this is the hottest hitter in baseball
Rob Johnson should familiarize himself with this stadium

He will be playing half of his games here in no time.

Maybe a couple of years?
Quality start streak

is on the line.

Do you have to go 6 or 7 innings for a quality start?
6

3 ER or fewer.

Stupid stat.

I take it there is no limit on F bombs here...

classy…

Please exlpain this comment
Without piling on, I'd like to direct your attention to the disclaimer underneath the site logo

And further I wonder what is the connection between f bombs and classiness

What the fuck are you talking about?
This is unnecessary
Is the forum catered to pre-teens?
No there is not, if that bothers you I suggest you stay away from game threads.
Go Adenhart yourself, fuckwad.

…and you are 12 I take it?

Subject line, please
If you're not going to contribute anything besides trolling please leave.
I like your avatar
Did Nick Adenhart really wear 34?
Ya and it's one of the reasons why I want to retire it in my living room
What the fuck is that supposed to mean...?
I rest my case...
Why are you here
I live in Seatle area...

Just wanted to see what other sites look like. How people act. Get other opinions and perspectives. You have some good stuff here that other sites could use.

I checked out Pinstripe Alley earlier. I have looked at the Tampa site in the past. If this is trolling then all I can say is…whatever! Being given a “warning” for simply making an observation is pretty lame.

To presume all the swearing is immature is far too hasty,
You had a very unpleasant tone

Ellipses are always unpleasant.

Oh.

Sorry.

Stop piling on, everybody
He's the Anti-Eyebrows!
Fuck yeah he is.
I thought other team trolling was fair game.
If not, my mistake.
We should abide by the rules but there is an unholy mix of GTE, and trolling.
Acting like a mob is always great
Your sig has the 'b' word
Maybe he just likes female dogs?
I do cheer for him, he wins me money
Okay MLB.TV. I give up. You win tonight.
Griffey is hitting a dinger today

I feel it in ma bones

I don't.
I believe in miracles!
Might be the withdrawal.
Beat me to it.
The hallucinations should start showing up soon, succeeded by the coma.
I think the hallucination was the feeling the homer in the bones.
Some people will explode like geysers if that happens
They'll be feeling bones alright
How old are you to feel your bones?
It could just mean there's going to be a rain delay soon.
Thank you Guti.
Outs, woo.
I wish there was a small furry animal or bedridden old person I could torture to death to make me feel better about this game
I would be content if the M's just started hitting.
Is that healthy?
Not for furry animals or bedridden old people
Maybe Griffey will go deep
At least Felix gets to keep his quality start streak alive?
Listen people

I get that you love to type bad words – I do too – but there’s a difference between swearing when it’s warranted and swearing for no reason at all. Swearing for no reasons cheapens it for everybody.

This may need to be added to the commenting guidelines on the front page.
I haven't sworn on LL for 11 months and I feel great!
I like to think I only swear when necessary
You are wrong
I haven't sworn in this GT in almost 20 minutes
Obviously I'm not addressing everyone

But I can’t count how many times someone has mentioned the swearing, only to get ten more swears as a response. Why? What’s the point? It isn’t funny.

It has something with being told what to do by people who, by and large, are not regulars or who are simply trolls

I don’t really see much of a point in it, but people have that tendency on the internet.

I remember when you used to sort of enjoy life
I don't
Broken souls make me happy
Is this the only reason we are friends?
I honestly don't
You seemed happy around the time you moved to Portland?
I'm not unhappy
Numb?
I think I have happy moments and then forget them
Does that mean you only remember bad stuff?

Or are things just blurring?

I don't remember anything
What about the good times?
Let me ask Dewey
LaHair is that rascal anyway?
rec'd
I think you accidentally banned me
Boy is there egg on my face
Part of me thinks you did it on purpose
How big a part?

;)

Oh I think you know ;) :O
That's called being drunk
Remember the good times

I saw a picture of him yesterday that made him look really angry
This is the best rule on the site
Jesus Christ why don't you tell us about a puppy with cancer while you're at it
That would be the worst!!
I think a kitten with feline AIDS is sadder
What about a puppy with a tumor that looks like a kitten
Does it look like a cute kitten or a malformed cancer kitten
All kittens are cute
Then the kitten with AIDS is sadder because at least the cancer puppy has a fwiend
Really now

Oh god, now I remember these.
I'm glad I don't
It's a specific birth defect that causes things like this.

I ended up looking through a whole archive of photos of this some five years ago out of boredom/morbid curiosity.

I know one of those
You're not a cat Robert.
Oh thank goodness
Just kidding, you might be a cat after all.
At least I will always be dressed for the occasion
I was actually joking, because I do swear ALL the time

Although generally not at other commenters

Maybe, but this is a pretty clear cut case of trolling. 8k comments on HH, 1 comment here.

If we can’t attack trollers, who have thus far been completely fair game, that’s a new rule.

Attack better
Well yeah, that's fine. But "No piling on"? Really?

It’s not like we want him to feel welcome here.

As a side, I think the entire thread should be deleted, but I’ll leave that up to you.

Per usual, trolls are most effectively dealt with when ignored
We had a thread where we discussed this like 2 years back, and that's what I said, and I remember being disagreed with by the entire community.

Including mods.

The community is bigger now and more annoying to moderate
It's April.

We’re overloaded with freshmen. Things will calm down in the coming months.

We want to be like the movie Casino and not like Alpha Dog
Jeff, is there a quick answer for why there is such a strict guideline for some of the other things

Like capitalizing first letter, chatspeak or whatever it is called, numbers, etc…

There is no numbers rule

The other stuff is about readability. Swears don’t inhibit readability and we don’t want to censor people’s language.

Thanks

Readability makes sense. Except it didn’t matter the 1st game of the season ;)

Brad Thompson's Gameday photo makes him look six years old.
Griffey DOMINATION!
A base hit on the other side of the second baseman!
I love seeing eye singles from Griffey!

Brings me back to the good ol’ days.

Good ol' last week.
This umpire really sucks. He wasn't calling low strikes before, but now he is. Fuck him. Fuck all bad umpires like him.
Grounder to the left of 2nd!
Even when he gets a base hit it's stupid

GOD

Has anyone else's FSNW feed been dead for ten minutes?
No, I've still got it.

Sounds like you’re experiencing more Broadstripe joy.

It been dead all night for me.
GOD COULD YOU COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT TYPE OF HIT GRIFFEY
That one moved over to the left
Variation on a theme!
I'm gonna flip my shit if he ever goes the other way
He's like the Anti-Loafie.
The one guy I want to see bunt
I miss when Brad Thompson's Gameday picture looked like a pug
Holy shit @ the Blackhawks game by the way.
I meant at. Sorry.
They're trying a new thing in this series.

Shootout first, game later.

WHAT?
In the case that MLB.tv malfunctions,

may I direct you here?

Pinch Runner, please!!
I was just chanting the same thing in my living room

then I stopped when I couldn’t think of anyone better to put in.

Byrnes, I guess…

Somebody who doesn't run like an 80 year old!!!
Aardsma?
Tui?
I'm kidding, of course...

But I’m underwhelmed by the options.

I thought that if a pitcher commits an error, he will still get the earned run counted against him. No?
No not really, because the opposing team did not "earn" it
If that were true,

80% of Mariner runs would be unearned.

It doesn't matter who commits the error.
I don't think so.
ERA is supposed to be a measure of pitching, not fielding

But it sucks at that anyway, so why care. FIP, xFIP, tRA, etc. are all better

No, because ERA is fielding independent
Thanks

I guess a pitcher can make a bad throw on purpose if the run is going to score anyway. “Oops, I guess my ERA isn’t going to go up”

Just remember Thompson, Milton Bradley will hurt you.
Here's another fun fact!

King Felix has more HR and RBI in his 15 AB hitting career than our DH tandem.

Our DH tandem has a LOT of home runs
He means this year
Or he's crazy
Thanks man

I don’t knwo how I got by before you showed up

You're welcome
I mean this season.
This cannot be true

Mike Sweeney once hit 83 dingers in a season

http://progressiveboink.com/archive/sweeney/2.htm

What's Griffey's LD% this year? Like 2%?
I don't know if this has been discussed recently,

but does anyone know what the mlb record is for most consecutive quality starts? I know Felix now has the franchise record at 18, which used to be 14 for Erik Hanson from 1990-91.

Someone looked it up via a custom query on B-R.

Felix is not close yet.

This was discussed before,

and I believe that Bob Gibson holds the record with 26.

That's mighty good company to compete with.

Thanks a lot!

rrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
Bradley hits the ball on the screws and has nothing to show for it.

Annoying.

Bad luck + bad offense + bad defense = awesome Felix Day!!!!
As someone who keeps missing the visuals of the game, I'm finding this Jeff Sullivan fellow to be a calming voice of reason.

It’s refreshing and educational.

Here comes a Dukes of Hazzard character
"1-0 count on Milton Bradley."

Gotta love that

Umps do give Bradley some love after all

At least it's bad on both sides.

Timmons just sucks.

Height = no more than 300 on images please

Just add it before the src= tag

I've been trying to crop 'em.

But I’ll see what I can do. Imgur allows you to resize things anyway.

"Width=250" before the end also works.
The restriction is on height, not width
Incidentally, it's only 36 pixels off.

Not that I won’t try to make it smaller next time.

AN EXAMPLE SHALL BE MADE OF YOU
I can take one for the team now and then.
Pixels, not inches

(FYI)

I hate listening to Rizz on the radio. He makes every out sound like a god damn homer.

Deep drive………. and DeJesus makes the catch 10 steps in front of the warning track.

Why is the guy pitching in the tracer infomercial pitching with his glove hand?

And why does he look like he crapped his pants?

Nice work camera man.
So is this game worth turning on?
Depends how much faith you have
Hasn't started yet
If you're confident that Jack Wilson can get a 2 out base hit with runners on, then yes.
Dusty Hughes looks like the love child of Gil Meche and Brad Thomspon.

I don’t want to know what goes on in the Royals clubhouse.

ROB JOHNSON IS THE BEES KNEES
Now that's the stuff!
Big Bad Robby Johns!
This is not a nickname for someone named Robert Johnson
Big Bad Robby J!
I'm going to call him Buck from now on
I'm going with Randy
I don't get it
Big Bad Randy Johnson!
Will that not be confusing?
I prefer to remember the good times
Well I hope you're happy
Big Bad Randy Johnson!
I approve of the outcome of the most recent plate appearance by Rob Johnson!
Not only was it quick

Good things happened too!

Holy crap

Extra bases!!

I hate how our 8-2 hitters will only collectively hit maybe 20-25 HRs all season.
I don't have a problem with the 1-2 part of it.
Me either, just the whole idea that we have 4 guys in a row with almost no chance at hitting a homerun is kind of sad...

Especially when you’re just a HR from a tie. It just feels so hopeless.

That's 20-25 more than our DH combo!
Which I realise is included

I am an idiot.

I can't believe the Astros have only hit seven home runs so far.
Screw you for swinging at the first pitch Rob.
Jack Wilson time!
Rob Johnson?
ROB DOUBLE! BOO YEAH!
Casey Kotchman's speed amazes me.

Is anyone slower?

Two players on our team!
Like lots of people
John Olerud.
HACK HACK HACK HACK!
Today is opposite day.

Other team’s pitcher gets a no-no to 5 innings on a Felix day.
Rob Johnson gets a double.

Balls are being called strikes, and vice versa!
That was about the worst pitch ever
Griffey
Err I don't know why this ended up here
He said pitch, not player.
C'mon, Jack.

Give us one of those doubles you do.

Rob Johnson does just enough to not earn my ire every single moment of every single day
Signature temporarily voided.
God I hate this losing streak
"In play, outs recorded."

</3

Were gonna lose a series to the KC Royals...
On the bright side, at least we didn't get blanked by Kyle Davies...
Jack Wilson is only one letter away from being Hack Wilson

So close, and yet so far

Nothing far about it
I believe he's referring to Hack Wilson's 190 RBI season.

In which case that’s very, very far.

I was thinking of the name Hack myself, in reference to hacking like a headless chicken

My bad

To be fair, Hack has been worm food for 60 years and is unlikely to put up an OPS better than Jack
His name is Spanish is pronounces Hack Wilson
Just one typo away
Should've bunted.
Sean White!
Sean White Flag?
Photoshopportunity!
dumb dumb dumb dumb im gone from this thread
Does anybody want to hear about the time I almost got dragged to a gay dance club but got out of it because I vomitted and passed out in a nice bar?
Did you wake up with a sore butt anyways?
Beat by the Royals on Felix Day.

Awesome.

Is Sean White the only reliever on this team?
I don't know why we need 7 relievers when we just want to use Sean White repeatedly
He's the best and special according to Wak.
Belief System son.
D'awww hamburgers
Oh boy Sean White!!!!
I'm starting to get that familiar feeling again!
At least it was a good hitter this time.
Well that was a bad pitch
Stupid good player.
They are who we thought they'd be!
And we let them off the hook!
Felix should bean Guillen just to see what would happen.
This game is sadder than clowns.
As someone who likes clowns, I completely agree.
I should ban you
Did you ban Fogel?
For a little while, I think.
He banned me long and hard
Like a million times
Do you want to read his warnings?
I think you should respect Fogel's non-existent internet privacy and not do that.
You're the one that asked
Your flags provided me with an entire vacation worth of humor
Man, it's been two and a half years. Can we be friends now?
Most of them are for LaHair puns
These are my favorites :)

Here are Fogel's flags

for being a bitch
Fogel has mod powers?
thesayhuhkid password:cheese
Shut up, Fagel.
Bad idea
well, you would be next in her backwards chronological quest to sleep with all of LL.
Poop jokes can be funny but you’ve got to pick your spots.
Dammit Fogel, because of your faggotry the confidentiality of the entire flag system has been compromised. Way to go cockface.
I’m afraid he will molest us all
Sad when Fogel is funnier than you

Nobody asked for my flags
I did through a flag.
Warnings take too long to compile
So you settled.
You just need a better delivery system
There's no way that's all of Fogel's flags
Actually it is
I have received 418 flags
I am well behaved and do not piss anyone off
I have a folder full of mine

Not all clowns look sad
I'm talking about a sad clown though.
Crying clown in an iron lung?
Crying /hobo/ clown in an iron lung.
Happy clowns are more frightening
What about an angry clown?
They do when they're performing for Jewish children in a gas chamber
Well, maybe Farnsworth can cough up a lead.
Yah, we'll get the lead.

and then brace for a Yuni walkoff.

Off of a slider that is in the other batter's box.
Are we done yet?
Well this just sets up the Lopez grand slam.
Why cause the first one worked well enough?
It should've gone out
Every game that Lopez has grand slammed in this year has ended with disaster :(
Small sample size
I am 103% sure that Lopez won't save us tonight

With a 3% margin of error

Every game he has ever hit one in, for that matter.
Come on fatass get a hit
You'll have to be more specific
Yeah nice job now lose some weight
Dusty Hughes' gameday photo looks like Gil Meche.
Meche and Greinke combined.
No that looks nothing like Jeff.
Way to fall for blatant framing Tim
It was actually still a strike I think

But Kendall frames probably the most of any catcher out there.

Well, it was a lefty strike
Come on guys let us rally
Are we rallying for Griffey as a pinch hitter and Sweeney DFA'd?
You can't pinch it someone in the game?
I hope we see all 8 of their bullpen guys.

Just so I know it can get stupider.

Didn't anyone tell Dusty Hughes that only ballplayers named Rhodes get to be nicknamed "Dusty"?
SHIT
NEVER MIND I THOUGHT HE CAUGHT IT
I thought he caught that.
Boy I thought he caught that
If all else fails, kill the pitcher.
WOO HOO FRANSOWRTH
Fransowrth sounds like a more apt name
I'm a little nervous about Fig Newtons being up to bat.
Crap, it's mirror Farnsworth.
Wait what? No Soria tonight?

We have a prayer folks!

Nope, it's Fornsworth apparently
I think this will be the inning of the Rally Doilies
I'm picturing Victorian women with frilly handkerchiefs.
Clearly what I meant to say

Was this is the inning of MASSIVE heartbreak

I love Farnsworth's gameday picture still.
It frightens me.
FUCK YOU FIGGINS
God Figgins.

Fucking awful man.

I wish Figgins would start making contact
Chone is such a great hitter....
Amen to that!
How the hell did he hit .300?
It's almost like what he's doing now isn't his true talent level!
This could be partially attributed to the fact that he was in a winning environment on a team that wants to win.
What?
This team is a losing environment and wants to lose.
The Angels are a good team with good players.

The Mariners… not so much. He’s blending in nicely here. That’s what I meant.

Oh my
I read this in Sulu's voice from that TV commercial
"My, Oh, My!"

We haven’t heard much of that at all this year, have we?

Figgy, enough with the strikeouts already
Ok Chone. Stop it. Please.
So Figgins is striking out at a higher rate this season.
DAMN YOU FIG NEWTONS!
Of all the nicknames for Figgins this one might be the worst.
Yeah, I'm not digging it either.
I don't think it's going to catch on.
This nickname is an insult to Fig Newtons.
I know I just realized that Figgy's performance so far is not up to par with the deliciousness of fig newtons.
Boy is stealing third there dumb
Why is Ichiro such a dumb baserunner sometimes?
That sometimes is pretty rare.
They kind of let him have it...

Weren’t holding him on hardly at all.

Blowers pointed out that with the way Yuni didn;t hold players on, it was a gift
Assuming that it's possible for one of the next two batters to get a hit.
Oh, just steal home.
I would shit my pants if he did that.
That's exactly what I was thinking
Bruce Chen warming in the pen!
We gave Bruce Chen his first win since like 2003 last year.
Honestly I don't understand just giving up the steal at this point

A three-run lead seems a little too tight to not even try and throw him out

Yeah, it makes no sense to me either.

The odds of something bad happening on the throw are really low.

Especially with this mariners offense
You have got to be shitting me
Oh. My. God.

I just saw Farnsworth’s new glasses on gameday. They are extraordinary.

A bit of '50s housewife in those.
He looks a lot sexier when he lets his hair down and takes the glasses off.
You should see his absurd tattoos!
So are we going to go 79-2 at home and 2-79 on the road?
Ok this ump is trolling us all
WTF.. IF you are gonna make a moint to steal the bases

Then not tag on a marginal fly ball? what was the fucking point of stealing 3rd then….. And kotchman should have tested someones arm and tried to score in the 7th after RJ’s double… This 3rd base coach= super conservative lately

Kotchman would have been out by 50 feet at home
Kotchman would have been out by 85 feet.
Seriously the ball arrived at third as he got there.
Kotchman would have been out by 91 feet.
They weren't holding Ichiro on at second?

And he would have been thrown out by 5-10 feet if he went on the fly ball? And Kotchman would have been out by 89 feet (had to increase it)

This team needs a serious fucking wake-up call.
Ian Snell needs to go get hit by a drunk driver.
Ah shit.

This shouldn’t have made me laugh.

No I think they need better hitters.
The team is fine. They just arent producing anything
Sweeney needs to pull something
It'd be a really loud call if he pulled a groin muscle.
Well that sucked.
This is getting insanely frustrating
Pop out to Yuni, seems fitting.
This is the best baseball game ever
I think you meant

This is the best baseball game ever

Is this enough to cause a shake-up in the batting order, if not in the roster?
Honestly I don't know how Z and Wak would react to something like this.
Deal for more pitching.
I kinda doubt it

I guess as long as they’re within five games they stick to their guns

Which is basically reasonable

since they’re all about trusting their players and five games back is not a huge hole with as flawed a division as ours

We are just fucking pitiful right now
Nevermind though

Greinke tomorrow!

It's still early in the season
HOLY FUCK THIS FUCKING SUCKS
Sure does, Poochie.
Wow nice play.
That's how you get hurt buddy!!
Has Milton's hat bill always been flat?
Yeah

He’s predisposed to that.

Nice fuckin' catch right there
I think Rob Johnson is a good catcher.
I agree with you
I think ice is hot.
Those ladies seem fun
Vargas is interested.
That was a funny little scene
So why isn't Shawn Kelley pitching again?

It’s his birthday.

Plus, neither he nor Colome have pitched in over a week.

At least they're not hitting him hard.
Colome's entrance song should be by Eric Prydz
As badly as we've looked, our starters have been going 6+ innings nearly every time.

They’ll have to go to a 6 man pen eventually.

Maybe when they call the pen for Shawn, Sean assumes it's him and then Wetteland never specifies,so Shawn sits back down because he doesn't want to make things awkward.
It must have been even worse when we had Sean Green
People falling over in the stands is, in fact, more entertaining than the Ms
What the h is going on today?

:( :( :(

Language
I'll say what the h I want thank you
You can't because you are a dog!!
I still hate Yuni
Aw dingleberries.
WHAT THE FUCK

YUNI DOUBLE? GOD

I think Sean White is a good pitcher.
Yuniesky Betancourt is a professional major league hitter
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS GET BETTER WHEN THEY LEAVE?
At least he's still fat.
I loved Niehaus' comment about Guillen's batting ave. earlier.

“Is it a contract year? It must be.”

I'd love him a DH right now.
Sean White sure gets a lot of ground balls.
Sean White to Tacoma?
Team seems to be rather fond of him

publically, at least.

No, because he is our best reliever. Right Wak?
Wakamatsu seems to like Aardsma and League better
So the Battle for Grass Creek is not quite the epic melee I was hoping for
Due up: Insane, Old, Slow
Flip insane and old!
Insane Double, Old Walk, Slow Homer.
Oops. My lineup card was wrong.
White needs to be a little quicker to first.
At least I don't have to update the sidebar!
You might only need one bullet point on the recap, too.
Branyan is hittin .385 with a 1.044 OPS!

13 AB’s though.

Branyan has a back that's liable to explode if looked at funny.
But still more productive than Griffery.
OPPOSITE FIELD
He hit it in the air!
That was so fast I didn;t a chance to hold up my new sign

Griffey.

Pull a hammy.

Milton looking like he's going to kill some Royals walking up to the plate.
He looks quite pissed.
How many shutouts this year?
Holy shit.

What the hell?

So I guess Bradley's calf is good.
wait until tomorrow
Holy shit Bradley
RISKY BASERUNNING!
Ok first to the Mendoza line Figgins or Bradley?
Bradley

Chone’s just gonna walk his way on

Smart baserunning!
Diggity!
I knew he'd go for it too
Oh man I don't think we're going to win
How has Griffey not injured himself yet?

For the first time in his career, tons of people want it. That old fuck just refuses to give the people what they want.

Not crashing into enough outfield walls.
Has that been 3 first pitch swining at bats for Kotchman?
Just wonderful.

And this isn’t even their closer. God.

He does have an awesome name though.
Ugh...

Farnsworth is going to get a save out of this. Are you serious.

Rob Johnson homer

called it

You jinxed it!!
What is Bradley tipping his cap too?
Maybe the dugout, saying he's fine
He did in his at-bat too.
To bumblebees!
Probably the fans giving him shit in the outfield.
Farnsworth throws hard
'Mike Sweeney on deck if Rob Johnson can keep it going'
Johnson walks and Sweeney hits a 3 run HR.
If this happens, I will buy you a smoothie.
Or DFA.

Hoping for that.

If this happens I won't know what to believe anymore.
Well that's horrible.
OH MILTON YOU.
Milton beats the snot out of low fastballs from the left side

every one he hits on a line

Milton's hustle is going to pay off big time
What ever happened to the Farnsworth is a starter thing?
Alllllllright
Oh good Sweeney is on deck
Because he's hit over 100 home runs in this ball park!

That means he is sure to hit another!

Mike Sweeney is going to hit the tying home run
Mike Sweeney on deck.

Color me thrilled.

2008 Miguel Cairo was a better DH than our current DH
This is by no means an exhaustive list.
2008 Miguel Cairo was the only reason I had hope in 2009 being better
Alright!

Sweeney can get his one final AB in Kansas City before retiring now!

Oh good Sweeney is up.
RJ making sure the ump wants to call it a ball..... fucker take your base
Well Rob K'ed.

Thanks Ump.

There was only one strike
2 of those pitches were definitely strikes.
One was debateable, one was definitely a strike
Fairytale first pitch fly out!
DRIVE A STAKE IN THEIR HEARTS
Wow!

This ump is very bad.

Sweeney can stay on the team all year if he hits a dinger
Take that all year...

and replace it with 1 more day.

Oh, I find it hard to believe that Sweeney will hit a home run here

just because he used to.

Sweeney let's do this
Hey KC fans, want to take Sweeney off our hands?
SWEENDAWG TIME!
Were they booing their hero?
Why in Christ's name are they booing Sweeney?
I don't know but I like the Royals' fans now
Maybe they are booing Farnsworth
I thought they were booing the ump
They want him back
OHHHH BABY GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE
Call Tito, I hear Jermaine gave up the crazy life.
Seriously. That's pretty sad.
Go Sweendog!!
He's going yard here.
Why the booos for Sweendog? I thought he was loved there.
They know when a guy shouldn't be playing anymore
Has Safeco booed Griffey yet this season?
Parts of it have
Kansas, not always the smartest.
They're on the Missouri side.

You’re not the smartest with your geography ;)

Come on you skinny bitch
I just realized

6 out of our 13 batters are under the mendoza line…

Sweeny is going deep here
STOP TAKING MY IDEAS
Leave it to KC to boo their best hitter of the decade
Sweeney BB, Ichiro slam

Calling it

Sweeney BB

Seems likely.

Sweendog it's time to be a hero
Farnsworth has all the potential to screw it up. Hope it happens.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It sounds like someone is whacking padding with a baseball bat.
SWEENDOG!

HERO MODE!

No shut out.

Please don’t be hurt Milton.

WHAT IS THIS RBI YOU TALK OF SIMS?!
Bradley looked like he was hobbling a bit.
Well that should keep him on the roster another month or so.
Well that's the worst possible scenario.

Sweeney only drives in one run and justifies his continued existence for another month.

Guess who won't be DFAd this year?
Maybe he's not as useless as Griffey
Correct, he's more useless.
Sweeney sticks it to those boobirds
John Parrish!
Better, Bruce Chen!
30 game belief system extension
I'd intentionally walk Ichiro and face Figgins.
Sounds about right.
Time for the power swing faggots
uhh

There is a better one of these
Audio feed is behind. Looks like something good happened.
Bruce Chen.
I think that other managers are stupid.

Ichiro has a reverse platoon.

Reverse split.
That's what I meant.
Thanks for that.
Sorry, I actually wasn't trying to be a conscientious asshole.
No I was being serious.

Thank you.

I doubt the manager of the Royals is retarded
No I think he might be.
MLB.tv knew a reliever was coming in about 2 minutes early.
Conspiracy!!
So many bad Mariners in one game

I… this is amazing

There goes my thinking that Tui would pinch hit for Figgins
Bruce Chen comes in to pick up the save

Words that should not be uttered

Is the game really in a commercial

Or does MLB.tv hate me?

should be back now
Pitching change.
They cut it with Ichiro walking up to the plate...

And no word on the change. After losing an inning a while back I really didn’t want to miss this…

Who are you picking?
Unfortunately, Mayweather
If Ichiro does not get a hit here all of Seattle will hate him forever
You speak for all of Seattle?
Yes
Who do you think you're talking to?
Come on, Ichiro

It’s about time the M’s get a come-from-behind win in the 9th

Countrymen facing off right here
Ichiro is from Panama?
You know how sometimes it's better to say nothing?
Oh God I'm so scared
82 mph meatball

CMON

I'm glad we're putting a rally together

But I wish it would happen before the 9th.

awww Ichi K coming up...
Oh hell one strike left
Please dont K Ichiro.

I can’t believe they are pitching to you.

C'monnnnnnnnn Asia!
Rally!

Rally snot llama?
I've always hated these things
This has existed as long as I have known Internet.

It’s a seriously OG .gif.

Why wouldn't you pinch run for Buck?
That run doesn't mean anything
But he was clogging the bases
And I hate him
But he has the same name as the Unit!
I am beyond terrified
Ichiro sucks :(
Shit balls supreme
HOLY FUCK SERIOUSLY?

BRUCE CHEN?

I think you mean Kyle Davies.
God, I'm out of whiskey,
*passes a tumbler
End of a very frustrating game.
Gross.

We’re gross.

Jason Kendall looks like a rat that has undergone chemo.
I have some of those! well, radio.

It’s about right, actually.

Worst week in Mariner history
Bruce Chen

Looks like a dick

CUT ICHIRO SUZUKI

THE BUM

WE SHOULD TRADE HIM FOR A WINNER LIKE RYAN HOWARD

What happened?!
We lost. 3-1
What a depressing game, this "Base Ball".
I think it's safe now to assume that this team will lose the AL West.
Ian Snell

Seattle Savior

"Tomorrow they get to face Zack Greinke. They'll throw Ian Snell at him."

I hope they do.

I hate five game losing streaks
I think this may aggravate Snell's inner ear problem
God we lost Felix take to Kyle Davies and Bruce Chen got the save.
take?

Day.

Good thing there's this other sport called Hockey right now...
Don't remind Jeff of that.
Yeah hockey has never disappointed
I'm Canadian, so not this year, no
What did Ichiro just swing at?!
This just SUCKS.
Waiting for the inevitable 6 game losing streak.
EVERYBODY OVERREACT!
KANSAS CITY IS GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

They're going to get pounded by the Padres.
Aren't they a bit too old for that?
WE'RE NEVER WINNING ANOTHER ROAD GAME
CHONE FIGGINS SHOULD DIE OF AIDS HE SUCKS SO MUCH!
WE'RE GOING TO FINISH 7-155
That would be miraculous.
We have to give back our 2 road wins!?!!?
You have to win at least 3 in a season for it to count. Look it up.
THE NCAA WILL PENALIZE THEM SOMEHOW
At least we'd get Harper
Nope!
Fuck, you're right
We at elast get the guy from Rice.
I want Anthony Rendon so bad it burns
Podsednik vs. Yuni for the batting title!
Time to drink myself into an oblivion and attempt to pound out a sociology paper.
Lookout! Landing Xanga
I sure can't wait for these guys face Greinke tomorrow!
I know, Greinke sucks! 10-11 by tomorrow night guys!
First time the Royals won 2 in a row all year. Great.
We could really use more dingers
We can use more of anything other than suck right now
Wait, could you remind me what dingers are? I forgot.
So did Griffey
I'm thinking sell high on Kotchman and buy low on Berkman.

The Astros are looking for dingers, too. No way they can say no to a Kotchman/Berkman swap!

No
Glad you caught the sarcasm.
Nobody jokes about my man
My man!
Don't worry, they won't demand Rob Johnson to be included in the deal.
Rob Johnson has a higher on base % than Ichiro

.378 to .364

And yet people still hate on him
Completely reflexive at this point
"And the ball gets by Rob Johnson!"
Stop imitating Rob Johnson's alarm clock
"All the way to the backstop!"
My opinion of his defensive prowess is formed strictly from listening to the radio.

So in sense, you could say a blind man can tell he sucks at defense.

Time to sell, Z!
This is annoying
Okay seriously

I know as Seattle sports fans there’s a certain amount of pessimism that comes along for the ride, but lately the amount of it in the gamethreads has been excessive.

I don't want to sell.

juuuust a little bitty shake-up.

Fix the DH position and I'm happy.
Our offensive production has been excessive as well.
Oh wait, it really hasn't.

I get it.

It's been twenty games and we're three games out of first.
I feel like getting rid of the irritating nostalgia might cause the irritating pessimism to subside a bit.
Thers always next year...
Not always
Not if you're the Royals and/or the Astros.
The Expos ran out of string
And Vlad Guerrero loved him a game of Cat's Cradle.

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