Lookout Landing

No. I want this team to win and I know it can't with such infections.

And don’t call me out just because I’m fuming. Everyone else here basically feels the same way, and almost everyone has shown it.

Ian Smell - April 30, 2010 via mobile reply

Yeah, we're very clearly out of the AL West race.

I'm not watching the rest of this game.

Fuck this offense.

Goose - April 30, 2010 reply

In one at-bat Sweeney manages the worst WPA

FUCK THIS GAME

I especially like the part where we give up Wilson for Tui

GB past the 6 hole, just past Tui’s glove, coming up,

On the bright side, Sweeney just cost us a win, so all the .1 WAR he offers from hugging is negated tenfold.

So, time to cut our losses, and cut him!

Yes, keep hitting it there.

He HAS to be done. He just HAS to be.

If they don’t fucking give Sweeney his walking papers after that god damn bullshit.

There's no way he's done

It just makes zero sense to keep him.

He should of just stood there and stared at every single pitch he received.

Hugs...

PINCH HIT CLIFF LEE

I wish I were clever enough to, off the to of my head, combine Sweeney, chemistry, reaction rime, and reversable reaction into some sort of semi-amusing pun

*time

Don't forget belief system

marcoramius - April 30, 2010 reply

Ichiro was on deck. There was one out.

There was zero reason for Sweeney to swing at all. Take the K and give Ichiro the chance or get the game winning BB

It's almost like he's a fucking terrible baseball player.

There's no way he goes in to pinch hit and doesn't swing.

They should have just left Wilson in

Now we have fucking Tui at short

Too true

and told him not to swing one way or the other

Belief system

That was a GIDP that showed real leadership and character.

You don’t get GIDPs like that from everyone.

Mike's ego is way too fucking big for his own good

This is actually kind of unfair

I imagine Mike is a pretty nice guy. He’s a great teammate by all accounts. It’s not that his ego is getting in the way; it’s the fact he’s not very good at baseball anymore.

Fuck Mike Sweeney.

Fair Enough111111111

ew, keyboard malfunction.

I honestly didn't think he would swing at the first pitch.

I thought that was amazing. How do you look at yourself in the mirror after that?

Mike Sweeney's mirrors all reflect Christ's image back to him

What if Bradley would have let the ball hit him?

Would Sweeney AND Bradley be out? Silly question I know.

? Hhwhat

When he was running, MB had to step over the ball.

I was wondering if the batter is out as well as the runner when it hits a runner. If he let it hit him, runner scores, maybe Sweeney is safe?

Nope.

I think just Bradley would be.

Live ball Bradley is out

What if you just intentionally kick it though?

Pretty sure both would be called out

I don't think they ever assume a double play.

Well runner is out for being hit by the ball, batter is out for runner's interference

I swear Beltre did this last year and it was only one out.

Nope.

Beltre did that last year.

What if the runner fielded the ball?

The kick would sort of eliminate the possibility of still getting an out.

Does that mean we can't discuss this?

What if he put it in a magic top hat and said the magic words?

Good one.

Seriously though, the runner can’t just grab the ball, right?

Probally would have saved the double play.

Feeling omniscient tonight aren't you?

Even better the length of this game will continue to justify the 7 man bullpen.

FUCK

The Nationals scored 7 runs today. Why can't the Mariners score one?

P.S. Ryan Zimmerman is still Jesus.

Welcome to carrying 2 walking corpses

This game needs to end soon

If it goes much later our DHs will both be unavailable tomorrow because they will need naps.

how horrible that would be

Felix can hit a grand slam

Or they have a scheduled bingo night.

Yes

Hit them all to Figgins

I'm afraid of that piece of shit Smoak

He, Vlad, etc. At least Ichiro leads off…

I GET IT

WAKAMATSU IS TRYING TO GET RID OF MIKE SWEENEY.

I'll drink the punch

THERE'S A MUCH EASIER WAY HE COULD DO THAT

WAK vs WAK

by having him repeatedly fail while repeatedly playing?

He’s doing it wrong.

At this point if we don't score in the 11th

We are boned. Who do we throw out there? K-Tex? Colome? Fucking Sean White?

Ian Snell?

Snell

Snell!

Clever

I like it!

WOOOOOOOOO

Sweeney is going to get two straight starts this series!

Watching Brandon League is like sex with butter as lubricant

Sweeney's like finding your partner has vagina dentata.

Having never experienced this I can neither agree nor disagree

And she's hungry.

Brandon League!

WE CAN'T GET RID OF SWEENEY

HE HUGS PEOPLE!

WHO FUCKING CARES IF HE’S OPSING .450!!!!

Brandon League is good.

How long does this thing go before Sean White takes over.

So, does the blame lie with Sweeney or Wakamtsu for playing him?

Obviously Wak

Sweeney isn’t gonna say “Coach, I suck balls, leave Wilson in.”

He should have said that

He should.

Considering he has no value to this team on a performance basis. Ugh.

TUI!

Jack Wilson is Samoan and not ugly now.

Halfsies.

LOL

Oh, Dave Sims.

Please no chatpseak

We're safe until Sean White comes in

In the meantime, Felix is sitting on the bench, scoring the game

and thinking “Great, they used up their 5 hits tonight. That means Harrison throws a no-hitter tomorrow.”

Lined out to "Jack Wilson" BWHAHAHAHA!

Also our bench now consists entirely of Rob Johnson

That is a substantial bench

He can bunt!

and Vargas

Let;s get League win #4!

At least Brandon League is awesome.

Someone has to be if we're going to win this 0 to -1.

Thats Tui Dave

THAT IS TUI DAVE

HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE DEAD 7 YEAR OLD BODY PARTS

Seems like an overreaction.

MIKE SWEENEY DOES THIS TO ME

Hey, Jack Wilson is still playing SS!

It's miraculous that we still have a pretty good shot at winning

Lines out to Jack Wilson...I wish

marcoramius - April 30, 2010 reply

Hit your 1st HR of the season here Ichiro. I have zero confidence in anyone behind you today.

Minus loveable Milton of course.

That's still Jack Wilson

This game is the shit

17 pitches for League, think we can bring him out for a third inning?

Yes

Don't see any reason not to.

The Blue Jays folks back in the day said he wasn't much more than a one inning pitcher.

League is filthy yes

However it will be all for nought if our BEST HITTERS DO NOTHING. ICHIRO IS FREAKIN DUE FOR A HR

And that’s Tui Dave

Ichiro hit...

Steal, then a Figgins base hit to win it. Is that too much to ask for?

Lopez walk off homer

Oh yeah and Luke French is gonna pitch the rest of the game too.

BEST GAME EVER

Needs more vampire baseball though

As bad as we've looked, the Rangers offense has been equally useless

Kaorikaze - April 30, 2010 reply

Dear Ichiro, please end this game now.

Hopefully our depleted bench will make Jack see the error of his ways

….silver lining?

Ichiro walk off HR for the win.....

He's on this team for his bat.

"This could be a short thread."

Whoops-a-doodle!

Reverse unjinx

We're the home team, so we can put Jack Wilson back in the game

Ichiro needs to lock in on this

Submarining summamabitch and DRIVE IT OUT

That guy in the Coors Light commercial throwing paint on the wall looks like Eric Byrnes

Fucking hell, Ichiro

Preemptive?

Please hit it.

See, I’m calm now.

Time for an Ichibomb.

Frankie time.

Frank Francisco!

THE HOPE STILL LIVES!

FRANK FRANCISCO

BLOW ANOTHER SAVE

Avery Bowron - April 30, 2010 reply

Obviously this can't happen

Avery Bowron - April 30, 2010 reply

We don't deserve first place.

But I still want it.

Yeah, but I've now lost my anger if we don't get it.

Again, this is a situation where I feel like positive reinforcement for Wak is a bad thing.

If I had influence over his mood, I wouldn't be positively reinforcing it

but I’m me.

I'd tie him up and leave him in the equipment closet.

Does any team in our division really deserve it though?

Kaorikaze - April 30, 2010 reply

Fortunately neither does anyone else!

Wow Texas has only 3 hits

Imagine if we had to face our pitching

Yes but Colby Lewis had the better game.

I feel bad beating Francisco again.

joey90 - April 30, 2010 reply

Get out the chairs!

Ohh, nice. Frank will give up something.

There's HOPE!

FRANSISCO FTW!

Ichi!

This guy's been struggling all year.

Light his ass up.

BASE HIT: I APPROVE!

Ichiro!

ICHIRO!

Ichiro!

abelard - April 30, 2010 reply

ICHIRO!!!!!

Punkhazard - April 30, 2010 reply

Ichiro! Ichiro! Ichiro!

ICHIRO!

LET’S WIN A GAME WE DESERVE TO LOSE!

ICHIRO!!!!

Time for your power swing, Ichiro

David Murphy

It KIND of looked like he was on coke in that shot. Dude wouldn’t stop squirming.

He has plenty of providers in the dugout.

It's just his narrow head.

ICHIRO!

Ichi!!

marcoramius - April 30, 2010 reply

THANK YOU.

SEXY SEXY ICHIRO

Now, please, God, put us in 1st place.

This is why they call it the hot corner

Only Ichiro!

Ichiro hit that ball like a flying chair hitting a fan

I get this bad feeling

that this is the time for our daily baserunning fuck up

Stealstealstealstealsteal

Sweet

HAHAHAHAH

Fransisco?

So will it be a caught stealing, a pickoff, or a lineout DP?

HHAHAHAHAHA!

Figgins!

NEITHER YOU DUMB FUCK

Figgins come on!!

Chone figgins

Don’t get out on the first 2 pitches please

I know we've moved on, but I still have Sweeney Rage.

Seriously, fuck that guy.

Steal steal steal

CHONE

WAK OFF

TASTE THE EXPERIENCE

BAHAHAHAHH YES!!!!

ANGELS BASEBALL BITCHEZZZZZZ

Figgy!!!!

Sweet

CHONE FUCKING YES FIGGINS

Figgy! YES!

BUNT!

AWESOME BUNT CHONE

FIGGY FIGGY FIGGY

el pato - April 30, 2010 reply

YES YES YES

holy shit figgins

It was funny when I thought I was going to get some work done tonight.

Come on, M’s!

CHONE MOTHERFUCKING FIGGINS

Now that's a bunt I can get behind!

CHONE!

At least we can't pinch hit Sweeney for anybody now

Beat me to it.

ANNOYING!

ANGELS BASEBALL!

Double Steal?!

FIGGGGGGGGGGGGGY

seahawksfan2863 - April 30, 2010 reply

Chone Figgins is the shit

Has Justin Smoak ever played first base before?

Doesn't matter who plays that ball

Figgins is sex.

Not really...

He's certainly looked more than a little iffy tongiht.

Now that's a fucking bunt!

OH SHIIIIIIIIIT.

Doily coming right up. (hopefully).

SEX WILL NOT FUCK THIS UP

Beautiful bunt. Now how are we gonna fuck this up?

FIGGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO I TRUST IS UP WITH THE GAME ON THE LINE. DO THIS SHIT GUTI SO WE CAN RELAX

I refuse to be teased again

Mariners baseball!

Chone Figgins

Has a great smile

GUTI SEXY TIME WIN NOW PLEASE

See this is why Mike Sweeney is such a great teammate

He sucked so Ichiro could be awesome and a hero

DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING BUNT WITH GUTI TO BRING UP LOPEZ

That was some retarded defense right there

SMALLBALL

Annoying Angels Baseball moved 950 miles north this year.

Lets try to NOT fuck this up, okay?

Be like the A’s in game 2 please. We got out of the bases loaded jam in that game gut they got us in their next at bat.

Guti bunt, IBB Lopez and it's GRIFFDAWG TIME

Wait

Sad

Guti will reach on a single, Loafie walk off homer

You're a baseball genius

Nevermind, BYRNESIES TIME

POPUP FEVER

CATCH IT

THE RANGERS CAN!

usually

With the bases loaded, a deep pop up can win it though!

I suggest popping up around Smoak/Treanor

GUTZ GUTZ GUTZ

BEING ANNOYING

LOVE IT

GUTI TIME TO SNAP OUT OF THE MINI-SLUMP

We do realize that bunting here brings up Lopez?

And then Griffey?

Swing

Wait

Byrnes. Whatever. Still sucks.

True but with more exuberance

Griffey comes back into the game because we're the home team and can change the rules.

Yeah yeah yeah

Finally someone else is tired of that.

Way tired of it

It been dead son.

GUTZ PLEASE.

GUTI DO NOT WANT

NO STOP PLEASE

Why would you bunt now... ?

Because the way last inning ended was so fun

Wak wants to repeat it!!!

DOUBLE STEAL DOUBLE STEAL

Yeah Guti should bunt too.

And then Lopez.

And so on until we've won!

Please be out of the slump Guti!

AHHHHH

C'MON MR. SEX

WHY THE FUCK IS HE BUNTING?

Winning run at 3rd, 1 out. Anything out of the infield wins it

Griffey out of the infield?

Screw the doily

Hit the dinger.

EVERYONE SHOULD BUNT

NO DO NOT BUNT DO NOT BUNT!!!!!!!!!!

ICHIRO IS ALREADY FAST!!!

I'd so double steal here.

DON'T FUCKING BUNT!

STOP BUNTING

If we blow this...

What's with the upswelling of Gipson themed names.

Where’s the love for Stan Javier?

STOP BUNTING

I HOPE HE FOULS ANOTHER ONE OFF SO THAT HE CAN’T FUCKING TRY AGAIN

We can't hit so just bunt bunt bunt

Bunt and throw away

do it

This is annoying

The M's should be good annoying not bad annoying.

At this point I'll give Jermaine Dye whatever he wants to keep Sweeney from hitting, like, ever again

Okay thank God, 2 strikes

Now he’ll swing

Maybe.

This sucks. Just let our good players swing.

If they IBB Lopez you have to have Byrnes bunt

SEX!!!!!

andrewgolfsalot - April 30, 2010 reply

PLEASE GET A FUCKING HIT

Please Guti.

Stop your slump!

Bunt that bitch

THE BIRD SAYS DO IT GUTI

Do something sexier than strike out please

No that's not what I said Captain Sex

If Wak was calling these bunt then I will hate him for a long time

Guti sure isn't doing that himself, I'd hope

Can we please get a real angle too?

Incredibly this isn't even a 3 hour game yet

11 innings!

This has all the hallmarks of a wasted at-bat.

Yup.

Boom

GOD DAMMIT

Oh.

FUCK OUR SHIT

Hm

;(

Frabkin :[

Guti suddenly looks downright terrible

They did have him try to bunt twice.

Wow.

Guti looks horrid. Makes me sad. Can’t be mad though. We wouldn’t be where we our without him hitting the way he did.

Nothing like starting an AB 0-2

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SLUMP?

Oh good, Loafie.

This will end well.

GOD DAMN

He's still deep in his slump

Oh my fuck

This game is hilarious

GOD DAMNIT IBB TO LOPEZ AND FUCKING GRIFFEY ARRRRRRRGGGHHHHHH

I HATE THIS TEAM ARRGGHHH

Griffey?

BYRNES!

GRIFFEY ISN'T EVEN IN THIS GAME!!!

SETS UP THE GRIFFEY GRAND SLAM TO END IT ALL!

BYRNES!

No, no it doesn't

BRYNES GRAND SLAM!

BE A HERO LOAFIE

DO IT FOR ONE OF YOUR DEAD SIBLINGS

Oh boy

Lopez…

Let's watch as Wak's belief system destroys this rally as well.

Ian Smell - April 30, 2010 via mobile reply

GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS

LOAFIE HERO MODE - ACTIVATED!

IT'S ABOUT TIME LET'S DO THIS

It's after the 8th

12 pitch at bat followed by a just barely over the scoreboard!

HIT A HOME RUN

That was even more improbable

Pretty Much

No kidding

That's what happens when you give the pitcher 2 strikes!

Griffdog waits to pounce

Let's go Lopez how about a 14 pitch at-bat!

Double steal.

And by that I mean steal third, then steal home

Hey guys Pujols in on deck

They'll just intentionally walk him because the pitcher's hitting behind him now.

Did we trade Griffey for him?

Loafie had a lot of walk offs in 2009...

He's also good

Yet frustrating

But good

Yes but he's frustrating

At defense.

This is a crazy crazy world.

You know who else did?

Ryan Langerhans.

God damnit. Lopez hits it in the air a lot.

Why is Ichiro not standing on 3rd.

We're going to blow it again guys...

Better than a GIDP...

Then again here come fattie #1…

Except there's no reason to think Guti would have grounded into one

I completey forgot it was Byrnes now

of course it is a righty.

If Lopie walks off, a lot of idiots will start calling him "our clutchest hitter."

svart aske - April 30, 2010 reply

They would have had to stop first

They'd be right

What he said.

Lopez has been our most clutch hitter.

SOMEBODY CALLED IT, JUST GOT THE INNING WRONG

LOAFIEBLAST!

I wonder who called it the first time

WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE JACK HANNAHAN AND RYAN LANGERHANS TO PINCH HIT AGAINST RIGHTIES

Hannahan's career wOBA against righties is under .300

I like the dude as a reserve infielder but let’s not pretend he can hit

Kaorikaze - April 30, 2010 reply

NOBODY SWING

Byrnes is on deck

IN Z WE TRUST BITCHES

Whichever Mariner drives in a run this fucking game gets all love votes

Why are people sitting down?

The best fans in baseball need to conserve their energy for when it really matters

They have seen the hitter and the guy on-deck.

WOW

He laid off the high one!

With Lopez and Byrnes due up, maybe a double steal is worhtwhile

Bloop single then Byrnes sac pop out.

Lopez....

So far so good

TAKE

PATIENCE AT THE PLATE

Lopez is having a good at bat

TAKE

I WANT MY TEAM TO WIN THE BASE BALL GAME

You know he is swinging here

Here comes #4!

Lopez.

This will be right down the middle or terribly wild!

You know, for how inept our O is, think about the ranger fans. They've gotten absolutely nothing today

At least each inning brings hope to them

We just have hope once every three.

THANK YOU

IMPROBABLE OUTCOME!

BB

HOW MANY IS THAT?

4!

LOAFIE WALK

:-o Loafie!

I think you pulled a fast one there Lopey

Oh god Byrnes.

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

Infield fly rule inc....

WHAT

JOSE LOPEZ IS AMBITIOUS

THE ROAD TO 50

WE BELIEVE

A LOAFIE WALK?

THIS GAME IS RIDICULOUS.

2/25 of the way to 50!

Hit it in the air Byrnes. YOU CAN DO THAT!

LOPEZ! I LOVE YOU!

so rec'd

Oh God if Byrnes wins this.......

A Byrnes homerun here would be epic.

HOLY SHIT LOAFIE DREW A WALK

Kouvre - April 30, 2010 reply

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEZE

Shocking

Juiced.

Make some Orange Julius Byrnes!

NO INFIELD POPUP BYRNES

He had so many walk offs with the A’s…our turn, PLEASE.

BASES LOADED FOR BYRNES

BRACE FOR EPIC

SQUEEZE

I have a really bad feeling about this.

This moment is brought to you by awesome roster construction!

I think I might be learning to dislike Wak.

POP OUT!

For the win.

As long as he pops out to the deep outfield!

Wait, we can do that?

FOUR!

Byrnes

Will be the hero

Seraphim - April 30, 2010 reply

GRIFFDOG AMERICAN HERO SANDWICH

So what odds are greater-- that Sweeney decides it is time to retire or that Wak decides to move the line-up around?

HERE COMES A POPUP!

BYRNES IF YOU DO THIS NOT ONLY WILL I MAKE A COMMENT IN THIS THREAD ABOUT FELLATING YOU BUT I WILL ALSO GIVE YOU THE 'LOVE' RATING ON THAT POLL THAT WENT UP EARLIER TODAY

BUNT BUNT BUNT

YOU HAVE TO BUNT

Clutch walk

Finally, a Mariner who didn’t swing at crap. And it’s Loafie!

Well as long as Byrnes doesn't GIDP, we'll at least get a good hitter up with a shot to win it

Quick

Pinch hit Griffey back into the game!

John Edwards - April 30, 2010 reply

I want to see a replay

I think he swung

Now we might be in for some craziness

or a high pop-up

DON'T TAKE MY LOVE FOR GRANTED ERIC

DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE TAKE MY LOVE FOR GRANTED

OKAY BYRNES

PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT JOSE LOPEZ JUST DID

BYRNES IS GOING TO WIN THIS I CAN FEEL IT IN MY LEFT INDEX TOE

You have Gout

Squeeze?

ALL CAN BE FORGIVEN

If Byrnes' popups weren't always so shallow...

This would be a perfect situation for him. Unfortunately it’s a RHP….fortunately it’s Frank Fransisco…

Look Byrnes just don't hit into a double play

Milton is next!

He's standing so far from the plate....

So much for a short thread

I don't care if Byrnes wins us the game or not, I just want to see him do something funny

YOU GOT YOUR WISH

Byrnes didn't do anything funny there

His second bunt attempt after the ball was caught by the catcher was something I've never seen before.

I think he was actually trying to get in the way of the catcher

It remains to be seen

WHAT JUST HAPPENED

WHAT THE FUCK

JESUS CHRIST

FUCK AMERICA

WHY AREN'T HE BUNTING????

FUCK

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DEAR GOD.

FUCK.

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

wut

HE WAS FUCKING SAFE

Uhh no

Emotions

No, no he wasn't.

Nope.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

Come on Byrnes.

You’re supposed to fucking TRY to hit the ball.

GET THE FUCKING BUNT DOWN BYRNES JESUS FUCKING CHRIST FUCK YOU

RAGE

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Stupid

OH FUCKING HELL EPIRKPEJFKELFJKEASWSF

WHAT THE FUCK

Nice idea.

I have anger

Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?

WHAT THE FUCK GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU BYRNES

BAD BASERUNNING

How is that bad baserunning?

That’s bad bunting.

That would have been a game-winning steal of home, wouldn't it?

It would have been.

I wonder if that's ever happened

Good process, what the fuck result

I'm not sure on the process

Absolutely not a good idea.

I love the suicide squeeze there

I hate it

I hate hit and runs, suicide squeezes, a lot of sac bunts, and Ron Washington.

Hell's bells.

Good God

HE PULLED THE FUCKING BUNT BACK?

DOES HE FUCKING UNDERSTAND BASEBALL??

There are no words

SO DUMB!!!!!!

facepalm

Not really, no

I disagree. More bad bunting. =/

I'm in disbelief that someone would pull a bunt back on a suicide squeeze

Have you ever watched Eric Byrnes do anything?

You mean like field fly balls with his face? Yeah, kinda.

Still do not believe it.

Eric Byrnes is fucking stupid

NO

FUCK MY LIFE

So we actually aren't the Angels.

We don't deserve to win this.

Fuck our collective lives.

Epic Fail Byrnes.

GEWT A FUCKING HIT

GODDAMMIT

NICE TRY

Seriously Eric?

Ugh.

Hate that call so much.

Wak is getting owned this game.

I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK.

COME ON ERIC BYRNES

WALK THIS SHIT OFF

God that would have been sexy

That was unfortunate

Because that would’ve been an incredible way to win the game.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE PULL BACK IF THE SQUEEZE WAS ON?????

THIS TEAM IS FULL OF IDIOTS

Fuck you Eric Byrnes. How do you justify pulling the bat back?

Ahahahahahahahaha

NOT FUNNY

No, it is

No

Yes

No you

THAT JUST MOTHERFUCKING SUCKED SO BAD.

Thank god I'm not sober

I love Byrnes' incompetent second hack at the bunt

followed by terrified look and trying to crouch in the catcher’s view

That really was priceless

There was a point where it even looked like he was pointing out where the ball had gotten behind Treanor.

Holy shit

Here’s an idea, do not bunt the ball with someone who can’t even hit to begin with.

That was bad

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Shitty offense has to try stupid shit like that

Am I actually watching MLB teams? This is like bad little leauge.

wafox - April 30, 2010 reply

That's it.

God hates us.

Ron Washington is late.

Why the fuck did he pull back on a suicide squeeze

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

COKE RAGE

Cocaine is a hell of a drug

Rec'd for Chappelle reference.

Avery Bowron - April 30, 2010 reply

really?

Well that was the easiest rec I've ever seen.

That was unnecessary.

GTFO

Well at least this is amusing

BWAHAHAHAHHAHHA FUCK YOU WASHINGTON

Go do some lines Washington.

You're a greedy little motherfucker, Washington.

Fuck you Washington

HAHAHAHAHA WASHINGTON

BYE MR. COCAINE MAN

Ron Washington needs a fix

WAK LOOKSL IKE HE IS LOSING FAITH IN HIS BELIEF SYSTEM

LAW OFF THE CRACK RON

This game literally has everything

Except runs

Or an end

Why the fuck did Byrnes pull back on that? It makes no fucking sense!

Hey Ron, go smoke some weed and relax.

Heydude - April 30, 2010 reply

THAT'S WHAT ROB WASHINGTON WANTED

HE STARTED HAVING SOME CRAVINGS

Washington seems on edge

I wonder what could have caused that?

This game is amusing

Washington does have a very good point

It’s more an indictment of Byrnes if he actually did pull his bat back.

Yeah, it really doesn't make sense to pull your bat back.

This is ridiculous.

This is honestly the worst baseball experience of my life

He pulled back and then he tried to bunt it after it was under the catcher.

A babe in the woods.

Jesus Jones - April 30, 2010 reply

Whenever I see Ron Washington get riled up, I just chuckle to myself and think about him doing coke.

BYE WARSH

God dammit imagine how awesome it would have been for the game to end with "Ichiro Suzuki steals (7) home."

So we can all agree that we either win this here

or the Rangers hit a home run in the 12th

Naturally.

Yep.

I feel more confident saying that we're doomed.

You have my attention.

Well, looks like it's the 12th now.

Sounds about right.

HE LOOKS CUTE WHEN HE'S ANGRY

AWWWW

he pulled the bat back on a squeeze.

.

Cablinasian - April 30, 2010 reply

Seriously, a squeeze bunt, you never pull the bat back

What the hell is wrong with Byrnes

He's seriously arguing whether or not that should be a swinging strike?

He gets himself tossed over something so trivial?

That replay of the bunt....

I just can’t stop laughing. So terrible.

abelard - April 30, 2010 reply

Eric Byrnes is an idiot and Ron Washington needs to make it snow

Eric Byrnes going to completely fuck us over.

WHAT IS GOING ON

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING IN A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME?

Ok Eric

You can fix this mess, just drop the ball over the infield.

I AM SO FUCKING MAD AT BYRNES

WE ARE GOING TO LOSE.

COME ON

AT LEAST BRING IN ICHIRO TO PITCH!

MAKE THIS GODDAMN GAME ENTERTAINING

Eric Byrnes is a Mariner I most assuredly do not love.

GOD

welp.

I hate calling for the squeeze, I had Brynes, I hate this game

Ugh.

Was he good?

YOU FUCKING SUCK BYRNES.

Inevitable K

We suck balls.

CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT

This game can fuck off

Nine drug references there in a span of 30 seconds of thread

I love Blowers

“I’m not sure why but he did pull it back”

FUCK THAT ASSHOLE

CAN I CHANGE MY VOTE?

Off to click "Hate"

Be back soon!

We don't swing at strikes.

Fuck!

I can’t take this!

buhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME SO MUCH

God damnit I hate this team so fucking much.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

This team is going to fucking kill me

I can't deal with this anymore. G'night folks. Let's hope for the win.

Byrnes you are fucking pathetic

JESUS BYRNES WE ONLY NEED ONE RUN

YEAH JUST TAKE A FUCKING PITCH DOWN THE MIDDLE FOR STRIKE THREE

FUCK ERIC BYRNES FUCK ERIC BYRNES FUCK ERIC BYRNES

We are seriously doing everything in our power over the past three innings to NOT score runs.

FREE JACK HANNANHAN AND RYAN LANGERHANS

I WANT EVERYONE FUCKING GONE

BURN THE TREE

Cliff Lee is more and more impressed

Fuck this, I have to wake up for work in five hours

Torrid - April 30, 2010 reply

DON'T EVEN LOOK UP TO THE SKY ALL EXASPERATED THAT WAS RIGHT DOWN THE FUCKING MIDDLE AND YOU DIDN'T SWING.

AND WHATS WORSE YOU PULLED YOUR BAT BACK DURING A SQUEEZE. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT BYRNES.

You could have had at least 5 roller coaster rides by now.

I love you

Oh jeeze you're right.

THIS GAME IS A FUCKING PRISON

ON PLANET BULLSHIT

This makes me happy

Step Brothers reference

Nice.

CANE WE REDO THE BYRNES POLL?

I STILL LOVE HIM BUT I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED IN HIM

I voted hate.

Me too

Did Byrnes miss the suicide squeeze signal?

Save us Jesus

Colome

This team fucking sucks.

I hate Eric Byrnes SOOOOOO much.

HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE!???

Punkhazard - April 30, 2010 reply

At least it's still not quite a 3 hour game...

Thanks Lee for working fast.

And I voted right for Byrnes. Screw all of you indifferent people.

Sidi - April 30, 2010 reply

Our mindless batting order comes back to screw us again

Where's Goose? I have a job for him.

Remember when Cliff Lee started this game and was awesome?

This seemed like it was going to be such a fun game, not this festival of horrors its turned into?

njpozner - April 30, 2010 reply

Yes :(

NO I WOULD NOT LIKE TO RELIVE THE 11TH INNING

I love you, Sims, but fuck you.

I'm willing to bet that Fan Gauge of Eric Byrnes would yield different results if published tomorrow.

Yes.

I demand a revote!

el pato - April 30, 2010 reply

They don't deserve to win

Even if we win, this is a loss.

Everything that’s wrong with this offense has been brutally exposed tonight.

Technically you are not correct

The M's or the Rangers

The fact that they haven’t capitalized on all of this is awful as well.

Can we please get a .gif of that "squeeze?"

DO NOT REQUEST .GIFS.

ESPECIALLY OF SHIT LIKE THAT

So what odds are greater-- that Sweeney decides it is time to retire, Wak decides to move the line-up around or Eric Byrnes imploads?

The sun goes supernova

At least I get to watch League pitch

DFA FUCKING EVERYBODY ON THIS OFFENSE

SALT THE FUCKING EARTH AND PISS ON ASHES

This is a slight overreaction

Burn the tree?

League in for 3 innings

Jeeze this is so sad

Andrus is just taunting us

Wait I missed it what happened to Washington?

Tossed

Tossed for saying Byrnes tried to bunt on the squeeze and should have been strike two.

he only did it once

is now in therapy

Tried to argue that Byrnes' bunt was a strike, got ejected.

Felix has to throw a complete game tomorrow

I know why we haven't won this yet...

Lack of Rob Johnson.

The only way we win this is if Bradley hits a funk blast

I'M SLEEPY AND HUNGRY AND THERE IS NOTHING OPEN UP HERE IN CANADA AT THIS HOUR

You guys don't get fourth meal?

This ain't fuckin Paris

Where in Canada are you?

I mean its only like 10.

North Canada

Yukon?

North of the Yukon

ellesemere?

Yeah that place

;)

looking for the northwest passage?

I just want my kids back

There there.

Russia?

nunavut?

Russia?

Greenland?

You guys don't have Piggly Wigglys up there?

I wish we had PigglyWigglys 'round here.

Me too. I long to say to someone "I'm just going to pop over to Piggly Wigglys"

I don't know what that is

Eh, you have much radder things in Canada I am sure. Like Navan, Ontario!

I don't even know what an Ontario is

It's a magical land with chicken farms

Grocery chain down south.

If my PigglyWiggle mug were here, and not at my desk

I’d be pouring a slug of rotgut in it just now.

What, no 24 hour garages?

You can stick a little faucet in the maple tree whenever you want

Tim Hortons is open 24 hours

I'm still baffled by Byrnes

If he bunts through the ball, Ichiro scores on a straight steal, There’s no reason to fucking pull back there, it doesn’t make any fucking sense.

Not to mention the ball appeared to be at a very buntable height

Yeah, this is true and makes it all the more incomprehensible

All he had to do was get it down

Can League pitch this much?

Jeff picked a good game to be off in his own little world

He's liveblogging and the comments are closed.

It was his soundproof liveblog that caused all this agony and destruction

TRADE FOR RYAN HOWARD

You know, around 2 hours ago, Dave Niehaus made the mistake of commenting on how fast this game was going to go.

Interesting evaluation of our manager here:

The two pinch-hitters he’s used, Sweeney and Byrnes, have combined to produce -.457 WPA.

Byrnes was a pinch-runner

Byrnes pinch ran

You can’t blame Wak for not wanting to have Griffey attempt to go two bases at once.

True, but the point still stands that our substitutes have almost cost us an entire game.

Byrnes missed the sign

that is the only possible explanation for that play. Hard to blame Wak for byrnes being an idiot.

I just can't believe all the stupid things we've done in order to prevent ourselves from scoring.

FUCK WHITEY.

Here comes the doom.

Hey everybody!

Sean White!

This game is destined to turn on a Tui error

Watching this team is like being beaten by your spouse

I'm almost glad I wrecked my laptop by dropping a full glass on it and can only read every 326th comment here on my phone.

wazzu93 - April 30, 2010 via mobile reply

Since when do the Rangers get hits like that

Who the fuck calls a suicide squeeze in that situation?

I know we can’t hit a lick, but Wak is a bona fide pussy. Plus, with Byrnes on like 79 different types of uppers at once, did he really think he was going to be able to hold the bat steady long enough to drop the bunt down?

Should have hired Joey Cora

And so it begins

This is seriously the most predictable game ever

You predicted a home run

The point was that the run allowed would be annoying

I bet we give up 2 in this half inning and then score 1 in the bottom before losing with the tying run in scoring position

You are just the worst

If this happens I will burn you for the witch you are

The difference is the Rangers can end it with a HR

The M’s are incapable

Yep, time for Michael Young and Josh Hamilton to kill us

This is the type of game where if we lose we feel the fucking effect

I want a weekend guys.

NEEDS MORE SHAWN KELLEY

I don't think I can handle a loss

FUCK

This is it

It’s like walking to your impending death….

OH my fucking god

I love how Paul Fucking Konerko has two more goddamn home runs than everyone on the M's

TUI!

Fuck this noise.

barf

So this is how the game ends.

Super

DAMMI TUI!

GREAT

Jack Wilson, where are you.

Fucking AMAZING.

Aaaand there's the ballgame probably.

Let's try to make this lose as ugly as possible

FUCK

Good thing Tui's our SS now.

I've never hated pussy hits more than right now.

Oh boy, that just rounds it all out perfectly

This is the worst game I have ever seen

THE UNIVERSE HATES US

Game over.

HEY YOU KNOW WHO DOESN'T DO THAT?

JACK WILSON.

FUCK

Mike Sweeney bro!

This game is like the culimination of everything that's wrong with this roster

This is bullshit

Fuck you Wak

At least it will be over soon

I fucking hate baseball

They're going to score on a suicide squeeze

Or on a wild pitch

I was right! Yahtzee!

You mean he wasn't out of the baseline?

This would be the worst loss the season.

Will*

I'M SURE GLAD WE PINCH-HIT FOR JACK WILSON

Jack Wilson wouldn't have made that play either

He also wouldn't have thrown the ball into the camera well

Not even about that

It’s about putting in someone who was essentially a guaranteed out.

No but he also probably wouldn't have thrown it into the fucking camera well

He wouldn't have thrown it away.

Hey how did Jack Wilson get so fat and brown so quickly?

HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU

I HATE EVERYTHING

TUI IS A SHORTSTOP

I just threw up in my mouth

RAAAAAAAAAAGE

FUCK

It sure is something when your manager fucks you over this badly in a game

But, congratulations Wak.

Suck on that belief system of yours.

Why pitch to this guy?

So, slam?

Hahahahaha wow

Goodnight guys

I WANT TO DIE

SOMEONE KILL ME

THROW A MECHANICAL SHARK AT ME

AND HE'S ON THE INSIDE OF THE LINE.

Wow

COME ON!

abelard - April 30, 2010 reply

Oh fuck.

FUCK THIS TEAM

Mariner'd

Fuck this.

Wow.

Predictable...

THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

This one is on Wakamatsu.

Nothing has left the infield by the way.

Fuck this god damn fucking pathetic team.

Release Byrnes. Call up Langerhans.

.

~~Byrnes~~ Sweeney.

Langerhans can do everything Byrnes can do.

Byrnes is useless. Albeit so is Sweeney.

Byrnes at least gives some flexibility

Sweeney is completely fucking useless.

Well there is is.

It's been fun

Take care

And thus, Brandon League gets the loss.

Can this game please just end, we don't need to play the bottom half.

How do we always pick the shittiest ways to lose?

JESUS TAPDANCING CHRST

We so deserved to lose this one.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been so embarrassed about my team.

That's that.

Oh, even better than a slam. E-6 then WP.

What a terrible game

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Ahahahahahahahaha

This game is a fucking joke

Ah-Ha... Ah-Ha.... God must really hate seattle. No wonder he pisses on us 300 days a year...

Keep your religion out of this thread!

::Shakes fist::

I'm agnostic...

Simply an expression of exasperation

When is Hannahan's return time?

God i hate this team

IlliniM - April 30, 2010 reply

He's off the DL, officially in AAA.

What!?!?!?!

Fuck you Wak

IlliniM - April 30, 2010 reply

What

Uh he's still on the DL

You can be on rehab for 30 days

No, he was activated and optioned to Tacoma today.

Really?

Fucking tacos

No, he was taken off the D/L today

THIS IS BULLSHIT

Why does this always, happen…TO US!?

This is what happens when you assemble a bad offensive squad

Wow

Well deserved

FUCK THIS ENTIRE TEAM.

Except Cliff Lee

I've seen a lot of terrible things in my time and this is one of them.

Welcome to the Mariners, Cliff!

Seriously.

If I was Cliff I would flip off every single fucker hanging their heads in that little hole in the ground right now.

Turning your wins to annoying no decisions that wreck us for the rest of the series

Can we end the game now? Do we really have to finish this half inning and then bat?

See, this is the nice thing about not having watched any of this game at all up until this point: not nearly as much heartbreak.

This game sucks

Jack Z, Wak, you should both be deeply ashamed

Time to wave the Sean White flag.

Just wow.

How fitting.

FUCK MIKE SWEENEY

There better be some fucking belief system call out on the offense by Wakamatsu.

This is fucking pathetic.

Welp.

Good night.

This game is nothing but

bad hitting and worse managing.

wafox - April 30, 2010 reply

Watch them squeeze successfully now

I'm a Mariner fan.

Enough said

Become a Nationals fan!

Good point

This feels like three losses.

RonJenkins - April 30, 2010 reply

I cannot even believe this.

Perfect

now we can score 1 in the 12th.

Insurmountable one-run deficit!

No way to make up 2 runs.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?

DO YOU ALL FUCKING UNDERSTAND!?!?

Goose - April 30, 2010 via mobile reply

Milton needs to crack some skulls

This is so fucking weak.

I hate you offense, so much.

At least Wak waited until we'd already lost to bring in White this time

Sean White now. He may as well admit defeat.

2 runs on groundballs that didn't even leave the infield WHAT THE FUCK

It is eerily quiet in the stadium.

It's probably eerily empty now too.

It's eerily fucked in the stadium.

Way to ruin Cliff Day, limp-dick offense.

From USSM's game thread

It’s almost like a dare – how long can the team keep winning with no bench and a line-up that makes no sense?

I guess we have our answer!

No hitting and no bench makes the Mariners go something something

Go crazy?

Anal clench?

2 runs and they havent hit it out of the infield?

Its like they are toying with us

The Rangers are showing us how the M’s offense is supposed to work

There's definitely a certain sick, twisted beauty to it all

0 runs and we had runners on 2nd and 3rd now out

Oh, and the 11th, but we won’t speak of that hear.

I'm just glad we can all wallow in pitty together

Group hug.

Sweeney will lead us in it!

This is a chance we can't waste

Everybody bring a knife.

Brothers in misery!

(Hugs back)

.....I love you guys

This game is so awful I think it gave me cancer

I almost want to just burn my tickets for tomorrow after this bullshit.

Felix!

But Felix

He's the only reason it's almost instead of already in progress.

It's still early

Fuck it. We are the better team

Not exactly...

Just agree

We will all sleep better

With Sweeney and Griffey playing?

And Byrnes being generally useless because he’s being misused? And a very stupid lineup?

Sweeney and Griffey are such great assets

I mean they come off the bench and produce like great vets should….

At least Griffey got on base

On a grounder to SS

"This could be a short thread."

1200 comments later…

or it could not be one

This is completely unfair to League

And Cliff Day

And US

I HATE MY LIFE.

We never take advantage of losses in our division.

Feliz won't have to worry about giving up homeruns today.

Can the Mariners end this game already so I can read Dave's righteous recap?

I'm already looking forward to his fire-spitting fury.

Dave’s hatred is the source of my power.

This is why we shouldn't have a belief system that tries to get Mike Sweeney a walk-off groundout:

I think we were going for a walk-off fielder's choice

Where Sweeney hits a roller so slow they can’t turn two on his old ass.

This is the worst loss I have ever seen.

Even the Cleveland game gets swept under the rug because we won fucking 116 games.

This is up there with the most frustrating games I've ever seen the Mariners play.

I just… I don’t even get how we made ourselves lose this one.

Yeah

It’s pretty lame.

Chance to go up on every single divisional opponent and we choke it away.

This whole time I've been seeing this game as one of those MLB 2k10 games that you have in the bag and you just try to give the other team a bunch of hope until finally putting the dagger in at will.

It’s almost like Wakamatsu went about managing the game that way when we hit the 10th inning.

Hey guys, what if we win the game here?!

haha!

I'd still hate the two pensioners on this team.

svart aske - April 30, 2010 reply

bigot

Ageist

Hey Will!

Feeling nostalgic lately? We’d gladly dump Sweeney on your hands.

do you want Yuni or Bloomquist back in return?

At this point I'd take Willie back.

I would gladly take Bloomquist back.

At least he has utility value. Ugh.

We'll take Kila Ka'haue (however you spell his name)

Since you guys obviously have no use for him.

YUNI

Well, that's just silly

Exactly

I get it

wrong

I WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT IF GARKO GETS A HIT.

Damn I wanted to watch the replay of Lee's start.

I still might, but this is so painful.

It was really good.

It feels like yesterday

ryan garko what the fuck

get out of here with those sloppy seconds

Garko almost made it poetic...

What a wonderful fucking inning.

Cliff Lee was awesome today.

Good news everyone!

Hey!

Game management seems to be escaping Wakamatsu.

I am quickly learning to dislike him.

Yeah he is not making me happy right now.

you are not selling any tickets with Wak ads right now

Why couldn't we have gotten a wild pitch?

Its not fair.

Or a "running out of the baseline" call?

Or a someone who wouldn't pull back on a suicide squeeze?

This is like pushing a button and having the rocket blow up on the launch pad. And then the Hindenburg crashes into the launch tower.

THIS GAME IS KILLING MY SOUL.

I want to hug Mike Sweeney

With a fucking bulldozer

Sweeney's gotta Sweeney man

Don’t blame him, blame the guy who put him out there in a situation where he’d obviously have to face a righty in a spot where a db is death

Fuck Mike Sweeney.

I mean he shouldn't be on the roster

but I like my blame focused on the doorknob who has done his best to lose this game

You mean Mike Sweeney?

He is at fault for not retiring

I too wish to do a similar thing

rec'd

Please don't just post "rec'd"

Either just rec it, or give a reason for why you decided to rec it.

I blame SB.

Rec'd as a sole comment is the same as +1 which is not allowed.

If you’re gonna just say ’rec’d then rec it and don’t say anything.

Time to listen to Hank Williams Jr. and feel sorry for myself.

Have a good weekend

Now we can watch a bunch o BS happen and the M's not do anything

Bradley, Lee, League, and Ichiro did their jobs….

If Adam Moore hits a 3 run homer I'll never I'll laugh harder than Rick Rizzs

Fuck it, if I can't even put the sentence together, it's sure inpossible.

Nothing is unpossible

I'd like back to back Bradley/Kotchman HRs

Which would tie up the game

and kill millions of people waiting for this thing to end.

7.8%!!!

Keep the Faith!

Kick some ass Milty

It's all up to you Casey!

Adam Moore

Clap clap clapclapclap

I want us to load the bases again

Who will be left to hit if three people get on base

It's times like these that I wish I had anhidrosis

Someone wave a magic wand

and turn Bedard into a #3 hitter.

ELVIS ANDRES IS LITERALLY THE DEVIL.

ANDRUS*

and now you know how opposing teams feel about

Gutierrez

laxtonto - April 30, 2010 reply

Hamilton fondling Andrus' crotch...

Not right.

Cocaine is a helluva drug

This game just makes me sick.

Yep this is over.

Fuck us.

Nice contact by Kotchman =/

This game is now officialy depressing.

officially.

Nice of you to join us in the 12th

NOW????????

I still had little hope.

So after they get two runs without getting a ball out of the infield.

We have two outs on balls out of the infield. Mariners baseball, everybody.

Yes, because no other teams have lineouts or fly outs.

This seriously is not the end of the world.

I would think that excessive pessimisim is warranted in this scenario.

And I do not recall saying that it is the end of the world.

Wak should pinch-hit Johnson here

Just as one last insult to all of us

I'd pinch hit him for Tui

Is in the game

But if he got a base hit and then left due to injury, we'd be short a catcher if we tied the game...

I see that as a feature

We've been short a catcher for 23 games so far.

Longer if we count Robo’s last season.

They better do something about this offense

How long can they get away ignoring this shit?

It wouldn't be that depressing if we got some real DHs and a bench.

Free Mike Carp

Yeah, that'll solve all of our problems.

Better than either of the fucking mascots

but how do you propose to fix it?

that is the real question. Short of a deal for AGon at the trade deadline, I have a hard time figuring out what exactly can be done to change the offense

laxtonto - April 30, 2010 reply

Don't even bring up the idea of trading for Adrian Gonzalez.

It is not happening.

Especially with the Padres red hot.

So really, the Adrian Gonzales thing is just silly.

Padres Fever!

My second favorite team! Whoo!

Dumping that cunt Mike Sweeney and bringing up Langerhans so Bradley can DH and Griffey can be relegated to his still-too-prominent role of pinch-hitter would be a nice start.

They traded table scraps for Cliff Lee, you don't think they can find a couple of no-defense bats?

Jarrod Washburn?!

Fun fact: Jarrod Washburn is a career .220/.304/.220 hitter

JARROD WASHBURN IS A BETTER HITTER THAN GRIFFEY NOW

I am genuinely not surprised by this.

BR seems to agree that Griffey sucks more at the plate than Washburn.

Damn, that sucks more than signing Washburn would have.

This is by far the most painful game of the year.

Much worse than any game in Chicago.

End.

Weird.

I love the boo's. Most of the hitters deserve it.

Wak deserves as many boos.

His game management this evening was more than slightly confusing.

Oh fantastic

Putrid.

Wow. Disgusting.

Welcome to Seattle Cliff Lee.

Heydude - April 30, 2010 reply

This is the most depressing loss of the year, by far.

Well at least that abortion of a game is over.

I think you mean Coathanger

You know me too well.

But I'm new here!

That was a full term abortion

I'm curious to know exactly where you think the purge began.

Fuck you Mariners.

Yuck.

Fuck this shit

This is not going to help us inspire Cliff Lee to sign any extension

He's on pace to win 0 games this season :(

He could go 7-14 with a 2.74 ERA if this lineup doesn't change.

I think you might have found the nail's head with this statement.

Also, it’s good to see you around.

This loss was brought to you by awesome roster construction!

Despite their early failures,

this game was lost by bad game management. (Yes I know, results based yada yada yada)

I fucking hate you Mariners.

This game is officially Wak's fault. Belief system my ass. Pinch hitting Sweeney made no sense.

Allen Wu - April 30, 2010 reply

Pinch hitting Sweeney made sense.

Having Sweeney on this team makes no sense.

No it didn't

You put your best hitter at the plate in that situation.

Wak believes Sweeney is a better hitter, therefore it made sense.

Personally, I wanted the squeeze with Jack Wilson doing the bunting.

Sweeney is barely better than Wilson before you figure in the PH adjustment.

What Wak believes is irrelevant when determining whether or not it makes sense.

Look, I am not defending the move.

But pinch hitting Sweeney is not unjustifiable.

I strongly disagree with your subject line

Jack Wilson was playing all day, he can hit a flyball with more ease in that situation I'd guess.

He’s faster than Sweeney and even if Jack hits into a double play, at least Tui isn’t playing shortstop.

It didn't though

Your statement make about as much sense as PHing Sweeney.

I’m hoping you were joking. Really. I am.

Sweeney swinging at the first pitch made no sense.

Sweeney swinging at all made no sense. Byrnes not even attempting to bunt on a squeeze play made no sense. THIS TEAM NEEDS A LESSON IN LOGIC.

At least now maybe the gamethreads will be a bit thinner.

So what is that, six games we should have won?

2 in Oakland, 3 in Chicago, 1 tonight. Beautiful.

No way we should have won all 3 in Chicago

We're going to win a few games that we probably should not win.

But only after this stupid roster is fixed.

svart aske - April 30, 2010 reply

Several people will be battling for biggest suckfest tonight.

Yeah. Too bad Wak can't be a candidate.

Jeeze.

Execrable loss.

We just don't want to be in first? Sweeney is not a winner.

This is what happens when the only people you have to pinch hit, can't actually hit.

Fuck this so hard. Yea, I really like Dave's post on the belief system now. I have total faith in the idiot running this team.

Ok, we put up with Sweeney and Griffey for a month.

Now put real fucking hitters out there. The team chemistry has us one game under .500

I hate my life

What a fucking wasted opportunity

I hate you Wakamatsu so much for your stupid lineups, your stupid bunt calls, and your stupid belief system in terrible players, yet lack of acknowledgement for the better ones. You ruined the win today, your ruined several wins this past month, and you will continue to ruin wins as long as you have your stupid naivety.

Dave sums up the night nicely:

" d_a_cameron

Summing up the night: Screw team chemistry – give me a team that can play baseball. "

I'd rec Dave's tweet if I could.

Hey guys,

remember when we were all excited about Cliff Lee starting tonight?

God Cliff Lee was awesome

Fuck you, offence.

Wakamatsu needs to stop fucking around

I am so pissed I could stomp a basket of kittens.

This game was very bipolar.

I hope this game has provided us enough fuck-ups to initiate an overhaul of the bench.

It's cute that you have hope

I'd say it's more of a character flaw.

And the thing is, the way it played out was 100% predictable

rickpo - April 30, 2010 reply

Well, I wouldn't have predicted that someone would have pulled back on a suicide squeeze.

But otherwise you’re right. I just can’t get over Byrnes’ stupidity on that play.

I'm embarrased.

Don’t know what else to say.

Someone needs to chew Wakamatsu and the whole team out

Suggestions?

I don't think they need to chew them out, they need better hitters.

But I’ll nominate Rob Johnson to chew them out since he managed to not fuck up tonight….by not playing.

Chin up guys

Cliff Lee is healthy

AND AWESOME

Y'know Graham,

I think this is the first time that I’ve ever want to tell you to shut the fuck up.
I’m glad that I decided to hold my virtual tongue.

This will go well.

Shhh....

He’s supposed to be asleep by now.

He's British.

CapSea - May 1, 2010 reply

No way he's asleep. Dad's going to get you.

TrustBaseball - May 1, 2010 reply

So who will be down in the clubhouse, with everyone from 710 taking the night off?

Milton Bradley!

That would be entertaining.

Many M's losses have made me sad and depressed. Few losses have made me angry.

This loss is one of those times. Jack, you know I love you, but we need a fucking major league bench already.

And Griffey's ass needs to sit on it most days too.

One weakly hit base hit tonight. Seems that’s the only kind of hit he can get.

Griffey's ass needs to sit on his fucking sofa.

Once he retires, I’m literally only going to be able to remember the 2010 Griffey. And it’s all his fault.

This is what happens when Guti goes cold?

That hasn't helped either.

He’s in a huge slump, hope he breaks out of it soon.

Blowers is reserving judgement on the bunt until he knows if a suicide or safety squeeze was called.

Sorry, "straight squeeze or safety sqeeze"

Which part of the bunt?

The inept first attempt? The pulling back? The SECOND BUNT ATTEMPT AT THE BALL ALREADY PAST HIM as part of his clumsy attempt to interfere with the catcher that would, if remotely effective, have gotten Ichiro out anyway?

I think he is thinking more about Ichiro coming in

He should have just jumped into the path of the ball

Sweeney should have snapped one of his legs out of place after grounding into that double play.

I wouldn't mind

Seems like an injury is the only thing that could get Hug’n’Squeeze off this team.

He totally messed it up. However, he had a chance to make it right, he just didn't do it.

TrustBaseball - May 1, 2010 reply

Ooh, Rizzs just said "there was a total mess-up on the play"

rare for him to be so frank

Quick! Ask him about the toupee

Toupee??!?

If I could rec this 10,000 times, I would.

And I might try for 50,0000 more.

Demote Byrnes, release Sweeney.

So release both of them?

Byrnes is fine on the bench.

No he isn't

That mistake is inexcusable and he should be fired immediately

He needs to learn how to play the game he is fucking paid millions of dollars to play

If mistakes warrant "firing", doesn't this mean Wak should be fired at least 1928459 times per game?

Because not all mistakes warrant firing

I'm not going to say I'm reserving judgement on that. But people make mistakes.

It fucking sucked, but I’m not sure that play would happen the same way if any other time.

I don't give a damn if he makes a mistake because he's not talented

That’s fine. He’s Eric Byrnes and he sucks. I’m cool with that.

Frankly, I'm fine with him being fired. I don't really give a shit about Byrnes. But similar bench players are in our future anyways.

Right

He’s expendable, so let’s replace him with someone who didn’t just pull back on a squeeze

Yeah there is no point in your mind where pulling back a squeeze is a good thing

Not a single possible way you can justify that. All you have to do is touch the ball and Ichiro probably makes it to the plate to win the game. I almost could do that.

Edgar for Pres - April 30, 2010 reply

But he won't stay there.

Nice, Short Thread.

el pato - April 30, 2010 reply

And fuck those two pussy-ass Texas base hits.

And Tui for his “defense.”

Why did I have to check Saunder's stats?

I’m going to cry.

That was the worst possible thing you could have done to console yourself.

Nope, I had two shots of bourbon

One for Junior, the other for Sweeney.

I hope I'm not reading that as bourbon being a bad idea.

I could use a couple shots to calm me down before I go to bed.

Celebrating their retirements a bit early, are ya?

Quick, check Ackley's!

Yeah that made me feel fantastic

Liddi was a nice surprise though.

Peguero!....

is not a prospect yet.

I hope you didn't check hoping for something near MLB ready.

The Mariners have done wonders for Colby Lewis' ERA.

Colby Lewis owes the Mariners a Hallmark thank you card.

Dear M's,

Thank you so much for your generosity in giving me my only two starts over 6.1 innings with less than 2 earned runs this year! I know it’s early in the season (small sample size!), but it’s been a real treat. I’ve been in Japan for a couple years, and you guys remind me of my days playing ball over there. Good times.

Give Sweeney my best,

Colby

p.s. – I think with your help, I can get that comeback player of the year award! Let’s go put up those zeros!

Dear Lewis,

Mike Sweeney here. Anytime you need help, I’m there for y—wait…

It seems like I agree with everything Wak does until he fills out his lineup card and manages the game.

He talks about his hitters pressing, but maybe that is a result of him pushing the aggressiveness on the base paths, the bunting, and all these risky plays like hit-and-runs or tonight’s suicide squeeze. Why don’t we have a guy on our bench that can come up and hit a sac fly?! God it’s a tough squad he has to work with on offense, but he’s not doing himself any favors by, dare I say, pressing with his tactics.

Uh, we do.

Wak decided to put Sweendogg in instead…

Who?

All we had at that time was Rob, Tui, and Sweeney. I guess Rob, since he did it last night? I’d take it over Sweeney maybe, since at least he understands the idea of hitting a sac fly, based on his post game interview on Wednesday.

I guess you should just read the recap at USSM.

I guess everyone but Don Wakamatsu notices this stuff. It seems like basic strategy that he over-thinks and fucks up. He loves his guys from last year. He pulled the plug on Kotch and Bradley in the middle of the line up after just a few games. A lot of us never liked Snell, which I understand, but he basically said he is sticking with RRS over Snell because of familiarity with the team. I almost broke my TV when he pinch hit for Figgy with Griffey in Texas, that was bullshit (before Chone was even slumping). The only new guys he likes are League and Lee (who wouldn’t?). He’s too into this chemistry thing. Maybe Shawn Kelley didn’t build up enough good favor with Wak last year, so he was sent down? I know Colome has been endearing himself to the coaches like Sweeney. I hate when a manager sticks with his favorites for emotional reasons.