All right, I can't hold out anymore. Mariners!
Your Opening Day lineups:
via web2.twitpic.com
And, in case you need me to whet your appetite for Mariner baseball, I will take this opportunity to present to you the Top 10 Biggest Mariner Hits of 2009.
10) 8/12: Ken Griffey Jr.'s pinch-hit RBI single in the bottom of the 14th gives the Mariners a 1-0 win over the White Sox. +39.5%
9) 5/17: Franklin Gutierrez hits a walk-off single in the bottom of the 9th off Ramon Ramirez to give the M's a 3-2 win over the Red Sox. +39.5%
8) 6/19: Ken Griffey Jr. ties it up in the 8th with a pinch-hit two-run blast off of Tony Pena. +40.9%
7) 5/3: Ichiro singles in the third run of the 13th inning to keep things alive against Oakland. +44.3%
6) 5/3: Prior to Ichiro's heroics, Kenji Johjima hit a solo shot in the bottom of the 9th to pull the M's into a tie. +47.3%
5) 9/17: Bill Hall hits the second of two home runs in the 9th inning off Bobby Jenks, this one a solo shot to tie things up. +49.0%
4) 7/22: With Felix throwing a gem against the Tigers, Russell Branyan turns an 8th inning 1-0 deficit into a 2-1 lead with one swing of the bat. +50.4%
3) 7/9: Franklin Gutierrez. Texas Rangers. Three-run shot. You know the one. +67.2%
2) 8/7: In the most improbable of scenarios, Ryan Langerhans belts a two out, two strike curve from lefty JP Howell to turn a rough M's loss into a walk-off win. +86.7%
1) 9/18: Just a little Ichiro/Rivera action. No biggie. Watch this video, and watch it again, and watch it as many times as possible before the start of Game 1. Baseball's back, and the Mariners have the best team they've had in years and years. +86.7%
1 recs | 470 comments
Baseball!
Nick S - April 5, 2010
BASEBALL
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
Look at all that hair!
LET’S GO MARINERS!
Teej - April 5, 2010
That is the only part of our apartment that doesn't look embarrassing
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
You look five years younger with your new hair.
Do you feel more confident with the ladies too?
Matthew - April 5, 2010
Fun experiments!
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I wonder how much he paid for the extensions
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
You look handsome and happy.
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
I like how the one part of your apartment that's not embarassing consists mostly of the window looking outside
OlSalty - April 5, 2010
I also couldn't give Robert any useful location reference points
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I'm glad that I have this sort of impact on somebodies life.
Robert - April 5, 2010
You wouldn't believe how long I deliberated over this
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
If it makes you feel any better I was disappointed that showed no clues before I even read that comment.
Robert - April 5, 2010
Hey that skip words thingy is back for 2010!
I wonder if it’s good luck
Robert - April 5, 2010
Did you have it in 2008?
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I skipped a word in my very first post here
I also improperly punctuated twice, used the wrong spelling on a common word two more times and added an unnecessary word once.
Robert - April 5, 2010
Ahh, how things have stayed exactly the same
Matthew - April 5, 2010
It's fun to go back to 2006-07 to see how terrible we were at writing.
katal - April 5, 2010
So you're not getting worse
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
In fact it actually looks like I have been getting better.
Robert - April 5, 2010
So would you say that caffeinated beverages have put your tumor in remission?
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I'm hoping that it's the tumor in my liver.
Robert - April 5, 2010
You'd be dead.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
So what you are saying is that I have a completely clean bill of health then?
Robert - April 5, 2010
No, I'm just saying the massive inoperable tumor is probably somewhere else.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
From the looks of it I bet its in my penis.
Robert - April 5, 2010
I am referring to the wall and butcher block, not my body
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Nice toaster, you fairy.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
It's a breakfast machine
That thing makes me sausage egg & cheeses in four minutes flat.
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Do you put Kahlua in your coffee?
Matthew - April 5, 2010
Probably
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I don't get it
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
You're a girl.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
A little girl wearing a sundress with pigtails.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
The bottle to the left of the white wine looks like a kahlua bottle
and the other appliance looks like a coffee machine
Matthew - April 5, 2010
More wine
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
That you seem unsure points to you putting a lot..
Matthew - April 5, 2010
That's pretty embarassing
You’re supposed to run your power cords behind the furniture, not in front of the drawers
Corco - April 5, 2010
Our HDTV is sitting on a Rubbermaid storage container
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Come on, man, there has to be plenty of milk crates and cinder blocks available down there
Rubbermaid containers can be more useful than TV holding
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
There's probably shit in it
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Actual shit
lemonverbena - April 5, 2010
I did the exact same thing for the first 6 months or so after I got my first job/place
out of college. Then I bought a decent TV stand for $75 and haven’t looked back.
My current computer desk however is 2 rubber maid containers on top of each other.
bluemax - April 5, 2010
No shit!
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
Is that PAM for all your rough gay sex?
Robert - April 5, 2010
That is one shitty Twitpic
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I would donate some money to give the M's twitterer a better digital camera.
marc w - April 5, 2010
What's in that glass?
katal - April 5, 2010
Alaskan Summer
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I just had the Amber last night. It's better than I remembered.
But I might just be hopped out for the time being.
Matthew - April 5, 2010
I couldn't turn down 12 bottles for $13
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Speaking of beer
Local Seattlites, go try some Epic Ales. This is my single most insistent beer recommendation that I have ever made on this site. Available at Full Throttle, Bottleworks and possibly a few other places or from their brew-closet in SoDo
Matthew - April 5, 2010
I will swing by Bottleworks tomorrow to try this.
katal - April 5, 2010
Bring me some!
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
Come up to Seattle and I will
Matthew - April 5, 2010
Deal!
July 4th!
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
Are you attending the International Beerfest?
katal - April 5, 2010
That's the current plan
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
Bomb.
katal - April 5, 2010
Yup!
who else is planning on going?
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
Beer + fireworks is a winning combination.
It’s going to be a hell of a day.
katal - April 5, 2010
So glad the fireworks were saved
I was going to come a weekend when I could catch some baseball if I couldn’t do beer AND fireworks
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
This honestly redeemed Starbucks in my eyes after the whole Sonics clustercuss.
Sorry Robert.
katal - April 5, 2010
My fireworks would have been better >:(
Robert - April 5, 2010
Awwwwwwwwwwww
Sorry.
katal - April 5, 2010
I'm guessing you only shoot off the white ones?
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
I like making big explosions than standing on top of them when they go off.
Robert - April 5, 2010
Any recommendations
These sound….intriguing. I’m up for it, but does the Otto really taste like exotic spices?
Pretty sure I don’t want the Terra-Saurus, but the rest sound good.
marc w - April 5, 2010
You want all of them.
Matthew - April 5, 2010
But seriously
the Otto tastes like a spiced coffee porter. Like Turkish after dinner coffee spices.
The Terra is ridiculously good if you care for stouts at all.
The Wit is my favorite and I loathe belgian wits normally. They’re all so similar. This is different in a way that’s still a wit and it comes with a great nose too.
The Simple Ale is pretty simply good.
Matthew - April 5, 2010
Otto sounds amazing.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Yeah, that's the one that's got my attention.
marc w - April 5, 2010
Trust me on the Terra, it is amazing.
Aaron Campeau - April 5, 2010
What if you are a person that hates mushrooms?
marc w - April 5, 2010
I absolutely love mushrooms, but I didn't taste anything especially mushroom-y.
There was just a very nice earthiness at the finish, similar to what the hops tend to provide but without the bitterness. Because the hops weren’t used to balance the malt to as great a degree as they generally are, it allowed it the malt character of a big stout without the sometimes overwhelming heaviness of a big stout. It’s like the opposite of an IIPA.
Aaron Campeau - April 6, 2010
I cannot possibly recommend this comment enough
Aaron Campeau - April 5, 2010
Apple juice
Men with hair like that don’t need alcohol to enjoy life
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
I'd guess beer. Or urine.
Probably beer, though.
Eyebrows - April 5, 2010 via mobile
I was looking forward to a nice, frosty beverage with Opening Day
but my allergies have been so crazy since the trip over the mountains this weekend, I am thinking maybe a nice whiskey
msb - April 5, 2010
RAH!!!!!
Corco - April 5, 2010
I'm tempted to post a photo of myself sitting here at work with a scowl and a bottle of water
Stupid work…
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
I'm drinking at work right now!
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Cheater!
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
This is a horrible day for me to have a big paper due tomorrow
Fortunately I’m going to just get tanked and worry about it tomorrow
FELIX!!!!
Corco - April 5, 2010
Kotchman in the 3 hole?
I don’t know how I feel about that.
JBell523 - April 5, 2010
2010 Gif!!!
Scruffy Lefty - April 5, 2010
Mobile post win!
Scruffy Lefty - April 5, 2010
What.
katal - April 5, 2010
What the I don't even..
JBell523 - April 5, 2010
Turds? Chicken McNuggets?
Jack Z looks like he has a plan.
moyerLIVES - April 5, 2010
You gotta be kidding me
Are those Llamapillars?
OlSalty - April 5, 2010
AT LAST!
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
Was that a dinosaur?
wilsonpdx - April 5, 2010
Jeff's face is what really makes this
Robert - April 5, 2010
Why is the Jeff turd chasing a Chris Rock turd
lemonverbena - April 5, 2010
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
There's a dinosaur!
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
Is that Erik Estrada circa CHiPS?
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
That is Don Wakamatsu.
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
Yeah, got that one covered after the fact
My work computer is really lousy and the gif is so choppy and washed out I can hardly make out details. I basically see Z’s and Jeff’s heads attached to poop (yeah I know they’re llamapillars) in space, and then it goes yellow and there’s kind of a dinosaur
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
.
That might be the best sentence ever written.
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
YES YES YES YES YES!
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
We need a place to collect these awesome gifs for future reference.
And a Hall of Fame with Scruffy being the first person inducted.
Wilder. - April 5, 2010
I just gave every post here an opening day gift.
Mariners!
katal - April 5, 2010
Have to decide what to wear to the game
Not everyone can look as cool as Jeff! Fucking cold games. Gonna go with the Mariners jersey over a sweater. Fucking sweatshirts look ever worse. Happy Felix Day!
OceanBird - April 5, 2010
Question about win percentages
Those percentages (Like +86.7% for Ichiro’s walk-off against Rivera), does that correlate to WAR at all? Is that .8 of a WAR?
I don’t think it does, but I’m curious.
doublemazaa - April 5, 2010
No, they're changes in win expectancy for the game.
Matthew - April 5, 2010
It does not, directly
This is Win Probability Added. Read more!
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I am waiting for the first Photoshop job of someone peaking through Jeff's window.
Ala, the photograph of who was it, Fogel?, last year.
katal - April 5, 2010
Yes, that was Fogel.
Matthew - April 5, 2010
Thanks.
katal - April 5, 2010
I remember opening day 2008.
And checking online in the second or third inning from Safeco, shocked that the game thread already had nearly a thousand posts. Oh those halcyon days.
katal - April 5, 2010
Kia ora Mariners whanau from Aotearoa/New Zealand
Paki Paki and me are throwing sickies to watch the game. Have a great opening day everyone. Go Ms
kyokom - April 5, 2010
Kiwinglish!
abender20 - April 5, 2010
We've doubled our Kiwis?
NICE!
marc w - April 5, 2010
Kia ora!
Glad to hear we’ve got some Kiwi M’s fans!
Kevman22 - April 5, 2010
You look like you lost weight, Jeff
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
So just skinnier than normal
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
It's so easy for the young
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
Robert liposucted Jeff's weight while Jeff was sleeping so he could be more like Jeff
Corco - April 5, 2010
GOD DAMNIT I JUST FILLED OUT
IT HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY WHEN THEY REACH PUBERTY. JESUS.
Robert - April 5, 2010
...
…yeah that sounds about right.
BrettJMiller - April 5, 2010
Also that picture was taken at an angle because my roommates are dickbags and wouldn't help me take it.
Robert - April 5, 2010
Should've used the MySpace angle then
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
What? How? I would be dead
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
He's trying to get in your pants.
Don’t worry, you look fat.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
You'd be me!
Dewey N - April 5, 2010
;)
Dewey N - April 5, 2010
god
abender20 - April 5, 2010
MOTHERFUCKING BASEBALL FUCK YES!!!!!
I Lick Squirrels - April 5, 2010
FELIX!!!!!!!!!!!
the other side - April 5, 2010
Here's the worst opening day of my life.
The Mariners dominated Texas pitching before Gene Harris and Mike Schooler fell apart against the Rangers’ offensive in the eighth inning.
I left the Kingdome cursing Scott Bradley. He was K’d to end the game, so it was obviously his fault for the loss. Being a nine old can make you dumb.
katal - April 5, 2010
Why would you?
Its such a happy day. Don’t ruin ii.
the other side - April 5, 2010
Here. Let me fix it for you.
The Mariners were terrible that year. That terribleness brought on Alex Rodriguez as the first overall pick of the 1993 draft. He performed admirably for us throughout the decade.
katal - April 5, 2010
It is Felix day as well.
What happened to Sun Shine and Lollipops?
InSpokane - April 5, 2010
This isn't the game thread.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Sorry. I got way too excited. I even got a little Rain-many about it.
InSpokane - April 5, 2010
I've had that song stuck in my head all day
OceanBird - April 5, 2010
Me too.
InSpokane - April 5, 2010
This is just the pregame thread
OlSalty - April 5, 2010
And boom goes the dynamite.
LonelyintheBleachers - April 5, 2010
What happened to Guti batting third?
Jeff Nye - April 5, 2010
Wak
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Evidently only against LHP.
moyerLIVES - April 5, 2010
THESE ARE GOING TO BE THE LONGEST 2 1/2 HOURS EVER
I Lick Squirrels - April 5, 2010
I suggest slowing down then
Matthew - April 5, 2010
For the Griffey Challenge
I’m going to give up making science jokes.
Matthew - April 5, 2010
You can now go back in time and make an erection joke in that spot.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Imma gunna class up dis joint
Matthew - April 5, 2010
Pull my finger
Matthew - April 5, 2010
If you're going to use Ima you don't need to say gunna
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
You're applying grammer rules to Yokel?
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Thanks, Colonel Bringdown
Matthew - April 5, 2010
I can teach you street
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I learned from all of the black people we have here in Portland
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Portland was featured on a recent episode of "Gangland."
Teej - April 5, 2010
I watched that episode!
Robert - April 5, 2010
I only caught the end, but I saw at least two black guys.
Teej - April 5, 2010
Imports.
wilsonpdx - April 5, 2010
Paid actors for the re-enactments
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
I will forever remember the black guy that helped us park once
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Temecula was once featured on an episode of that show
guess what gang it was!
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
LK
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Sure
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
Big Ups?
harkening - April 5, 2010
Oh my god there are so many episodes
I must watch the following:
“Crazy Killers” — South Side Locos (Sureños) of Oklahoma City
“The Assassins” — Logan Heights of San Diego
“Dog Fights” — Fresno Bulldogs
“Ice Cold Killers” — Crips in Anchorage, Alaska
“Kill ’Em All” — Best Friends
“Gangster, Inc.” — Gangster Disciples of Wisconsin
Teej - April 5, 2010
THERE ARE CRIPS IN ALASKA?!
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
They're probably eskimos
Marinerfanjake - April 5, 2010
?
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
That's definitely bullshit.
There aren’t even any black people in Alaska.
I Lick Squirrels - April 5, 2010
I saw the one on the Fresno Bulldogs
Its exactly what you’d imagine.
bluemax - April 5, 2010
Also that show has insured that I will never drive in certain parts of LA
bluemax - April 5, 2010
*person
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
Bullshit.
The Blazers have a 15-man roster. Although Travis Diener is white enough for all of ’em.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
They probably all stay in Lake Oswego and other, nicer places
And have offseason homes elsewhere
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
They all live in Lake Oswego
Or West Linn.
wilsonpdx - April 5, 2010
Or St. Johns
forte40 - April 5, 2010
Greg lives in town, at least!
wilsonpdx - April 5, 2010
Portland's International District
is home to such vast racial mingling like: new england liberal, northern california hippie and unmotivated portland native
Matthew - April 5, 2010
*Intranational district
Unless they also have Canadians
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
That kills the joke
Matthew - April 5, 2010
I have discovered that there are in fact black people in Portland
They’re just all in the mall.
OlSalty - April 5, 2010
How is this any different from any other city.
Robert - April 5, 2010
I wonder why Jam Master Jesus doesn't post here anymore
Robert - April 5, 2010
Probably too busy pounding tail
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
There usually aren't liquor stores in malls in other cities
Matthew - April 5, 2010
There weren't any on Saturday
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
And I was looking
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Wet Seal must've been having a sale the day I was there
OlSalty - April 5, 2010
Cap locks already?
Gotta pace yourself.
Brian Floyd - April 5, 2010
How do you disable nexdef?
Mlb.tv broke afterI installed it.
sammy - April 5, 2010
Uninstall it.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Retarded question,
but… how? It’s not showing up in my list of programs to uninstall in the Control Panel.
sammy - April 5, 2010
I'm PC retarded.
Nevermind, I figured it out.
sammy - April 5, 2010
That's not PC.
katal - April 5, 2010
Uninstall it.
Matthew - April 5, 2010
About to head to BART...
and then on to the big ugly hunk of concrete in Oakland. Wooooooo!! Go M’s!
SFMariner - April 5, 2010
Don't get stabbed.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
I'm in a group with 3 M's fans, 2 A's fans and 3 neutral....
I should be ok (but i’m wearing kevlar under my jersey just in case).
SFMariner - April 5, 2010
BART to coliseum is harmless
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
Agreed
marc w - April 5, 2010
Of course it is
but nothing wrong with perpetuating some Oakland stereotypes anyway.
SFMariner - April 5, 2010
BART fine. Oakland fans not fine.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
That I agree with.
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
A's fans are better than Raiders fans.
I would not even think of wearing an opposing jersey then.
SFMariner - April 5, 2010
Oakland is not that bad.
InSpokane - April 5, 2010
Compared to Spokompton.
LonelyintheBleachers - April 5, 2010
Hey, I like Spokane too. Have ever even been there.
InSpokane - April 5, 2010
What amazes me most about Joe Morgan is that he combines his well-documented propensity to be wrong about everything
with the complete inability to provide anything (ANYTHING) of interest or value beyond that. Blowers occasionally says stupid shit, but at least he has some interesting stories and can provide some insight now and again.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
That's "Hall of Famer Joe Morgan", remember!
Jeff Nye - April 5, 2010
Dr. Dre is a nice guy
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I could handle him occasionally spouting some misinformation. That's not an uncommon phenomenon amongst broadcasters.
He’s barely capable of describing exactly what is going on. He called Houston’s shortstop “Mark”. You could replace him with a very drunken Frankie Boyle and I’d have a better experience. This isn’t to say that Frankie Boyle isn’t funny, just that he’s fucking hard to understand.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Who is Houston's shortstop?
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Tommy Manzella.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Who is Houston's shortstop?
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Mark Manzella.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Lance Berkman
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
That explains the surgery
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
That's the only Houston player I know right now
But I was probably not too far off
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
SLIDE PIECE
marc w - April 5, 2010
That Guti blast was my favorite moment from last year.
Though the Ichiro home run was my second favorite. Felix’s reaction is why I loved Guti’s homerun so very much. Ichiro’s little dance at the end of his trot was amazing though.
Man I love baseball.
Fear - April 5, 2010
Had the day off
Been at the bar drinking and watching baseball all day. Now I get home and see the MLB package has some free preview going so I can watch the M’s tonight. 10:05 start-yargh but oh well. Baseball!
speedomike - April 5, 2010
It seems like not that long ago that I was tearing up as the Ms walked around Safeco and Griffey and Ichiro where carried off the field.
But it’s been 6 goddamn months, 7PM can’t come quick enough. BAAAAAAAAAAASEEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!
joof - April 5, 2010
I am so excited
I think I just peed a little
forte40 - April 5, 2010
I'm leaving work soon. Then out to the game.
InSpokane - April 5, 2010
I have literally never seen a Dick's Sporting Goods.
They are wasting a lot of money advertising to me.
Teej - April 5, 2010
So many terrible mental images just entered my brain.
Dick’s. Sporting. Goods. Oh God make it end!
LonelyintheBleachers - April 5, 2010
But, like Sonic, just imagine the lines when they finally build local
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Speaking of ads
has Papa Johns trebeled their ad campaign?
msb - April 5, 2010
I wish Papa John would get Soprano'd
abender20 - April 5, 2010
I have never had one
but it seems as though they are advertising a lot more, of late
msb - April 5, 2010
I don't think Dick's Sporting Goods would taste as good.
Even though I do like the taste of my foot in my mouth sometimes.
thehemogoblin - April 5, 2010
Those damn Sonic commercials haunt me during college football season
I always want something to drink and the stuff they have looks good. The nearest Sonic burger is out in Anaheim.
I ate there once and it wasn’t even that good. Although whatever I had to drink was awesome.
bluemax - April 5, 2010
I am amazed at how poorly Chrome handles .gifs.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
I was just thinking this.
wilsonpdx - April 5, 2010
It kills me
I can hardly run IE on my work machine because of how slow it is, but chrome kills every gif it sees which pains me
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
Firefox?
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
I'll bloat it up too much with extensions
I use chrome because it is quick and lightweight. I don’t browse much here at work usually, so Chrome is just fine. Besides, with how often websites crash on me I’d rather be able to just kill that tab and not lose the whole browser
tootthekazoo - April 5, 2010
Opening Day! The excitement is incredible the waiting excruciating.
Very similar to the last day of school throughout grade school. The final bell signaled a new life. How to kill time until 7:07?
TrustBaseball - April 5, 2010
Whatever you're giving up for the Griffey Challenge, get it out of the way now
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
Done. Red meat and red wine.
Come on clock, go faster.
TrustBaseball - April 5, 2010
Let us go Mariners!!!
Dewey N - April 5, 2010
MARINERS!!!
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
SEA!
abender20 - April 5, 2010
MEN!
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
I might be doing this wrong
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
Nope.
CapSea - April 5, 2010
Carlos Lee looks irate that the Huff fouled a ball off on a 3-2 count. Wasted a perfectly good waddle.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Huh, our lineup doesn't look as terrible as it felt before
Most of these hitters are going to be about league average, if not slightly better. Only Rob Jonson and Jack Wilson at the tail look to be holes.
I am cautiously optimistic.
CapSea - April 5, 2010
I can't believe the game is still almost 2 hours away
I have so much work to do but I will probably aimlessly click through box scores while I wait.
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Good Luck today guys
I’m a big Ranger fan but enjoy reading Jeff’s work so don’t hate one me too much.
Just thought I’d drop by and wish you a happy opening day. Wish I could watch the game but my old man has been in the ICU for a couple weeks and I’m going to go spend some time with him.
texasraider - April 5, 2010
don't hate *on* me too much
texasraider - April 5, 2010
Happy Opening Day to Rangers fans too, and I hope your dad gets better!
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
thank you very much
texasraider - April 5, 2010
And this is the difference between Rangers fans and Angels fans.
I Lick Squirrels - April 5, 2010
Pablo Sandoval is a professional athlete.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
I'd take him in SEA
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Clearly.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
But he's an unabashed fatty.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Fat Ichiro would become his new nickname.
And the Seattle air will thin him out.
w00tah - April 5, 2010
Local authorities would probably try to set him free in the open ocean.
Matthew - April 5, 2010
FUCK YOU, WHALE
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Benji Molina
texasraider - April 5, 2010
Kyle Blanks
lailaihei - April 5, 2010
Kyle Blanks isn't obese.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Blanks is like 7" taller and 100 lbs heavier.
lailaihei - April 5, 2010
I'm 5'11" and weight 180.
My friend is 6’6" and weights 280. My friend is not obese. That’s just huge.
harkening - April 5, 2010
Blanks isn't shaped like a pear.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Kyle Blanks couldn't catch up with Jarrod Washburn's fastball
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
Had no problem with Howry today .
abender20 - April 5, 2010
.`
lailaihei - April 5, 2010
Did you see the colbert episode where he talks to the US curling team?
SC: "so what’s your training regimen, do you have any special exercises?)
curler: “No, not really”
SC"…and you’re an Olympic athlete"
kentcheesehead - April 5, 2010
Tommy Everidge.
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
If he was 6'10"
He would be the exact opposite of Tim Lincecum
Trenchtown - April 5, 2010
Pablo!
Eyebrows - April 5, 2010 via mobile
Perfection
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
Ahahaha, awesome.
Wilder. - April 5, 2010
This is hilarious.
ABQmsFan - April 5, 2010
I can't stop laughing!!!!
Cthaller59 - April 5, 2010
Fuck it, I can't be at work anymore, I'm going home and getting ready for gametime
seattlebruin - April 5, 2010
I AM SO TIRED
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Bite me.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
The game should be in the 7th by now :(
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I can't believe I have to wait until 9pm for this.
I’ve been up since 5:15 :(
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Cater to my schedule better, Mariners. Come ON.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
What the hell
You’re on the West Coast
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
I couldn't sleep :(
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Aardsma nightmares?
Scruffy Lefty - April 5, 2010
How do you make these so fast?!
Corco - April 5, 2010
I made this one when the commercials came out.
Just good timing.
Scruffy Lefty - April 5, 2010
You are a national treasure
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
This is my favourite.
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
I just called every liquor store in town and exactly one carries any Pyramid beers
Corco - April 5, 2010
You're not exactly missing much if you can't get your hands on any.
pranaferox - April 5, 2010
I want to drink Seattle-based beer and that's generally the easiest to acquire
In this case, it was the only one acquirable
Corco - April 5, 2010
Mariners...
lemonverbena - April 5, 2010
BASEBALL
Yay! It feels like I’ve waited months for this!
beastwarking - April 5, 2010
The Mariners have never won less than 85 games in a season where Felix was the Opening Day starter.
Robert - April 5, 2010
This is true.
Kirk - April 5, 2010
Wait why wasn't he the opening day starter in 2008?
katal - April 5, 2010
And, not facetiously, why the hell wasn't he the opening day starter in 2007?
katal - April 5, 2010
Erik Bedard.
He threw a strikeout in the first PA.
Kirk - April 5, 2010
We blew our wad on Bedard, so we had to show him off.
Teej - April 5, 2010
He must have been really sticky.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Just his labrum. Sorry RC.
Sec 108 - April 5, 2010
It's ok brother
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
This is such a turn on.
katal - April 5, 2010
BAAAAASEEEEBALLLLLLLLL
Griffin Cooper - April 5, 2010
Used to be that MLB.tv never worked on Opening Day
Now neither MLB.tv nor MLB.com work on Opening Day
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I can't even get to the goddamn standings page.
Teej - April 5, 2010
Glad I'm in Portland!
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Whoa
On the bright side for our game being late, the traffic should have calmed down a bit
Corco - April 5, 2010
I hope so. It's the only place I can see the game.
ABQmsFan - April 5, 2010
Same
I hate being in Rockies territory
Corco - April 5, 2010
If MLB.tv is not working in time for Felix Day, I will blow up a hospital.
abender20 - April 5, 2010
Children's Hospital is available.
TrustBaseball - April 5, 2010
I live next to a hospital
Can you blow up that one so it might blow me up too?
Corco - April 5, 2010
Oh come on these types of threats are disgusting.
Robert - April 5, 2010
Not if its an animal hospital
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
I would rather somebody blew up a people hospital before an animal hospital
Robert - April 5, 2010
I'm sure I'll get just as much pleasure watching Felix on Yahoo Gameday
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
ALIFGHAI;OEH;ALHG;LAE#$*(!y@jroklDF AL
:(
Corco - April 5, 2010
The Giants game is working fine for me
Compared to earlier, at least.
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
That Ichiro HR off Marino Rivera ranks on my top 5
Omg, this is fucking awesome Mariners moments of all time, along with the game I attended on my birthday during the 117-win season where Ichiro won it in the bottom of the 9th).
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
117?
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
117
because, the end of this game never happened.
Cablinasian - April 5, 2010
I suppose technically we won 120
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Yeah, I've heard Yankee fans refer to 98
as the 125 win season.
Cablinasian - April 5, 2010
Ahem, 116 win season.
that was a fun year.
Cablinasian - April 5, 2010
Whatever
Twas awesome.
Not a bad way to celebrate my 20th b-day in any case.
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
KIND OF A BIG MISTAKE
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Fair enough
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
I will never forget win 117
Robert - April 5, 2010
Yeah our first playoff win
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
It was almost as bad as loss 104
Dewey N - April 5, 2010
The important thing is that we lost 2,967 less than New York did in September 2001
Robert - April 5, 2010
Ouch.
But well played.
marinerdan - April 5, 2010
My favorite moment of the entire season of course
Our celebration/remembrance when we won the AL West.
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
This is the appropriate comment to make to a post that was applauding the terrorists work.
Robert - April 5, 2010
You just like scoring off me dontcha?
I don’t mind.
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
MLB.com Dial-up edition is back!
Corco - April 5, 2010
Stupid NexDef plug-in seems to be screwing things up on MLB.TV
That and the Jeter ad.
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
GOD I'M PUMPED!
Scruffy Lefty - April 5, 2010
There is nothing Hunter Pence does that is graceful.
He’ll get out of bed tomorrow, step on a rake, and stab himself in the ear with a fork while trying to eat cereal.
Teej - April 5, 2010
I like Hunter Pence because I like his name
Dewey N - April 5, 2010
Including act in commercials
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Seeing as the only MLB game on right now is on ESPN2 I can only conclude that MLB.com is shit
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Maybe the server is just taking a break
Corco - April 5, 2010
Happy Felix Day everyone
Hope you enjoy this (not quite as good as Scruffy’s though)
(and sorry RC, but I had to recycle Jim)
seattle_since_81 - April 5, 2010
Yummmmmmy.
msb - April 5, 2010
That's perfectly alright. I like it now, oddly
royalcurve - April 5, 2010
Hey Robert I almost drunkenly accepted your trade the other night whilst accepting another one
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
pop
Dewey N - April 5, 2010
Everybody cares about these fantasy teams
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
I figured this fell more into the Robert-baiting than fantasy category
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
I'm being serious
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
They're talking about sexual favours.
marinerdan - April 5, 2010
There's nothing worse then when you Shake-n-Bake a porkchop and while you're in the shake phase all the shake flies out of the bag
Corco - April 5, 2010
I can't believe I even checked
Robert - April 5, 2010
Gotta get my hits in before first pitch
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Bellevue's own cruising right along in Houston
I love that kid, not as much as Felix but still awesome.
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
Image the marketing if he had been a Mariner?
We would all be super sick of the guy by now.
mark sobba - April 5, 2010
I wouldn't care
Lincecum, Felix, Lee, best 1-2-3 in all of baseball.
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
Geoff Blum is playing 1st for the Astros
They aren’t even trying really
Trenchtown - April 5, 2010
Is mlb.com down for other people as well?
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
Yes
FAIL!
Apparently they think no one will notice because people will be watching the NCAA title game. Idiots.
skywaker9 - April 5, 2010
Happy Felix and Opening Day!
It may be awhile before I get to post again. It’s all up to you, Griffey!
Wilder. - April 5, 2010
With all these pictures I have a feeling I'm the youngest one in this thread.
Oh the pains of being 17.
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
Robert is 11
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
He's been that way for years though.
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
12 you asshole
Robert - April 5, 2010
I dunno he's definitely showing his age now
Dewey N - April 5, 2010
That's because he finally hit puberty
Didn’t you read above? 12 is usually when that happens to a girl right?
seattle_since_81 - April 5, 2010
Girls hit puberty at 9 now
Welcome to the 21st century
Corco - April 5, 2010
Just because you hit on girls at 9
Doesn’t mean they hit puberty at nine
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
...unless you prematurely induce it that is!
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Is that a 12 behind the gal?
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
Hey there Lieutenant Commander Cheeksasaurus
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
Is that a higher rank than Fett?
Robert - April 5, 2010
Isn't Fett a Rear Admiral?
If so, no
Jeff Sullivan - April 5, 2010
heh
Robert - April 5, 2010
Any Army rank automatically exceeds a Navy one
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Except in college footall
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Where's Captain Squackers?
Kirsten Schlewitz - April 5, 2010
On the windowsill to the right
Robert - April 5, 2010
16 is the worst
Slurvey - April 5, 2010
Indeed
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
If MLB.tv doesn't work I'm going to be screaming in some poor Bangalorian's ear to the point that they cry
Corco - April 5, 2010
If you call them right now, you might get a hold of customer service by the 7th inning.
Wilder. - April 5, 2010
Maybe I can get a free subscription for the rest of the season
I’d almost be happy to trade Opening Day for that, but only if they supplemented it with a brand new Cadillac
Corco - April 5, 2010
Sandoval looks quick for a big boy.
ABQmsFan - April 5, 2010
He isnt called Fat Ichiro for nothing.
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
I guess I had to see it to believe it.
ABQmsFan - April 5, 2010
WHY DOES THE STUPID STREAMING BULLSHIT ON THE MAIN TEAM SITES WORK BUT I CAN'T GET ON MLB.TV
Corco - April 5, 2010
Have you tried a direct link?
Try this
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
Prediction: Perfect game for Felix tonight
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Jinxer!
Dewey N - April 5, 2010
I will let you rape me if you're prediction comes true.
The only downside is that you’ll have to buy you’re own plane ticket.
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
This is an empty offer
How can I rape you if its consensual?
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Drug me.
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
He didn't specify which hole.
CapSea - April 5, 2010
perfectstrat is going to have imperfecthearing.
CapSea - April 5, 2010
That was a pretty filthy curve from Lincecum.
seattle_since_81 - April 5, 2010
Bold prediction here.
Tim Lincecum is going to win the Cy Young again.
Kirk - April 5, 2010
It's certainly better then he started off last season
Trenchtown - April 5, 2010
He's so good.
Kirk - April 5, 2010
I can't wait!
Nate Dogg - April 5, 2010
Baseball!
Graham MacAree - April 5, 2010
By the way, it's really smart to roll out an entirely new website design on the most trafficked day of the season
Corco - April 5, 2010
Every goddamn Opening Day it's touch and go like this
Been on the edge of my seat until gametime for the last three years.
cwel87 - April 5, 2010
Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion, man
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
No. That's not my opinion. I'm being sarcastic.
Corco - April 5, 2010
So is Fett Lebowski.
Wilder. - April 5, 2010
No way?
Corco - April 5, 2010
1 HOUR
OlSalty - April 5, 2010
ESPN deportes
Calls a homerun very similar to a soccer announcer calling a goal
Trenchtown - April 5, 2010
Alright Mariners let's continue this day of extreme awesome.
Goose - April 5, 2010
Go butler!
kentroyals5 - April 5, 2010 via mobile
Always root for the dark jerseys.
thehemogoblin - April 5, 2010
Nate Schierholtz!
My Dad knows his Dad- his Dad is a crazy Russian dude who imports potatoes into Russia
Corco - April 5, 2010
Thanks for that Corco.
Kirk - April 5, 2010
'Potatoes', eh?
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
?
Kirk - April 5, 2010
I miss O'Flaherty just for the simple fact that this gif is hardly ever used anymore.
Goose - April 5, 2010
Potatoes!
katal - April 5, 2010
Extremely off topic, but I just discovered SBnation's ( next post | last post ) are j and k.
Switching between Vim and Lookout Landing just got super!
stredarts - April 5, 2010
Sergio Romo's in for the giants.
Time for the Romosexuals to come on out.
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
Happy Felix Day everyone!
Sec 108 - April 5, 2010
Happy Felix Day!
katal - April 5, 2010
Boog Powell has eaten a LOT of Boog Powell's BBQ over the years.
msb - April 5, 2010
So a mere 8 Ks gets Felix the most for the day
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Didn't Halladay get 9?
Corco - April 5, 2010
Indeed
Griffin Cooper - April 5, 2010
No one cares about the National League.
CapSea - April 5, 2010
27 Ks?
Marinerfanjake - April 5, 2010
...in the AL
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
Wow Romo. Just wow.
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
He's had worse days,
Robert - April 5, 2010
Like against the Seahawks!!!!!!
katal - April 5, 2010
How is Kazmat still starting for a Major League team?
Corco - April 5, 2010
Fears of allegations of racism
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
Wait, Kazmir isn't white?
katal - April 5, 2010
Kaz...Matsui
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
Ahhh. I see.
I thought “Kazmat” was a typo. My bad.
katal - April 5, 2010
Kazuo Matsui =/= Scott Kazmir
thehemogoblin - April 5, 2010
Prove it
abender20 - April 5, 2010
I heard they were the same thing.
Kirk - April 5, 2010
It's illegal for Major League Baseball to take my money to provide a service and then fail to provide me with said service, right?
I’m completely within grounds to threaten a lawsuit, right?
Corco - April 5, 2010
I'll be a witness to your uncontrollable rage caused by the lack of service provision.
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
Wait are you saying I legally can go bomb a hospital and blame it on Major League Baseball?
Corco - April 5, 2010
Yea,
but WHY SO SERIOUS???
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
Define "legally."
thehemogoblin - April 5, 2010
Would I win that case?
Major League Baseball failed to provide me with a service I had paid money for, throwing me into a temporary rage that led to me bombing a hospital, an act of temporary insanity brought on by MLB’s negligence.
Of course, it’s all moot since I just talked about it on the internet beforehand, but hypothetically?
Corco - April 5, 2010
This thread can be deleted rather easily.
There’s no need to call your efforts off. LL has friends in high places.
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
You lack the will and technical expertise to bomb a hospital
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
You
Corco - April 5, 2010
You'
Corco - April 5, 2010
You have never met me
Corco - April 5, 2010
The technical expertise part is now proven
Fett42 - April 5, 2010
It kind of sounds like the Heat of Passion defense
Which is more of a mitigating factor as it is not a complete defense to a crime just one that lowers the offense. But no you would not be able to win that case. For one reason, there has to be a causal link between the thing that caused you to become enraged and the act you committed. Since the hospital would not have had any part in causing your rage it would not work. If on the other hand you blew up MLB.TV headquarters…
Trenchtown - April 5, 2010
No.
Kirk - April 5, 2010
Anyone watching the Astros game?
This pitcher has the weirdest motion.
Robert Lintott - April 5, 2010
his pre-motion setup is cool too
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
That's really what I meant.
Robert Lintott - April 5, 2010
He looks to the 3B coach, shows him the ball, and then pitches.
Amazingly awesome. Go get em Z!
perfectstrat - April 5, 2010
That was really odd.
Eyeball Kid - April 5, 2010
I couldn't help but giggle at that weird motion.
mark sobba - April 5, 2010
Why the hell would I want to visit ESPN new york.
Nuts to that!
katal - April 5, 2010
The game is unavailable on mlb.tv
What’s this nonsense
Dewey N - April 5, 2010
Try Farnsworth's direct link above
Worked for me. I just had to switch the game.
StuHamm - April 5, 2010
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