I just like the image of me coming home from work, popping a beer, drinking it and then standing up, stretching, turning to my (non-existent) wife and saying “be back later honey, I’m gonna go mine for a bit”
the “for a bit” implies a transient activity which is funnier because who mines just for a bit? People mine because they have to. “I’m gonna go mine” reads like I’m making a mid-life crises change of course.
driving in runs is not a separate skill from reaching base. Players essentially have the same chance to get base hits whether or not there are men on base. Individual players do not perform better or worse in “clutch” situations.
…the fact that I made a Magic: The Gathering reference on an Internet message board will in all probability cause me to stay awake for several hours before I finally cry myself to sleep.
’cause we all know NPB imports SUCK at MLB. Also, the ones that do jump ship are totally never scouted in advance and are wholly unqualified to play here.
Actually, yeah, because the NPB team would include guys who are "called up" to MLB.
The point wasn’t to say NPB is at an identical level to MLB, but that Krueger suggesting Colby Lewis was somehow a neophyte because he spent time in Japan is laughable.
I was basing my angle on a BP article written in 2001 and cited in the above article. Apparently they have refined their methodology and have NPB quite a bit higher, at approximately the level the AA was at when it folded/merged with the NL in the early 1890s. Still not quite at the full-on MLB level, of course (which nobody is arguing) but as good as any non-MLB league in baseball history.
Amen to that
KarateManChan37 - April 9, 2010
Vargasland!
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
When our pitchers hold the other team down
we’re going to get fast games because it’s not like our offense will do shit
Matthew - April 9, 2010
Yay!
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Loved that you closed comments in the last thread without saying "hey, new thread!"
harkening - April 9, 2010
He posted the link to the new thread
Matthew - April 9, 2010
He closed comments first.
I tried to post, and it said “comments have been closed,” which is how I was here so fast. Because I migrated before the link was posted.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Technically you are correct
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Vargas is on!
Now string some hits together for some offensive support.
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Vargas = Cliff Lee
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Cliff who?
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Lee.
He won the Cy Young a few years ago?
Pitched in the World Series last fall?
We traded for him?
Surprised you haven’t heard of him.
Matthew - April 9, 2010
Seriously
Some kind of fan right here
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
A friend of mine didn't know who Derek Jeter was.
Seriously.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
This guy's posting in a Mariners game thread
It might be worse
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
A good friend of mine had no idea Griffey was black.
the other side - April 9, 2010
is he foregin?
KarateManChan37 - April 9, 2010
No - He's not a baseball fan
But it was still shocking.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Oh him...yeah...DL gotcha.
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Mr. Clifton Phifer Lee
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Vargas > Bedard, Vargas = Cliff Lee
Was it too much?
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
More like
Vargas =
aguay - April 9, 2010
You lost me on this one.
The Typical Idiot Fan - April 9, 2010
Are you saying Vargas is a bust?
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Viva Las Vargas!
/original
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
74 pitches so far.
He could go till 8th inning!
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Who needs a seventh bullpen man?
harkening - April 9, 2010
Seriously!
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
WOW. A SP in the 8th inning what's that?
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
His slider and changeup both look really good.
It’s his fastball that’s either located really really well or really really badly. There doesn’t seem to be a middle ground for it.
The Typical Idiot Fan - April 9, 2010
That's always been Vargas' issue
But to be decent against a Rangers lineup is very comforting
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
They're not all that great of a lineup
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Great to see him do this in that ballpark though
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Absolutely
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Compared to the A's?
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
Well I'd rather get kicked in the nuts than anally raped but neither one is all too great
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Shit, David Price pitched a great game
and Vazquez… Yankees fans aren’t known for patience or being rational.
Bearskin Rugburn - April 9, 2010
or intelligent
KarateManChan37 - April 9, 2010
Yay Ichiro!
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
ICHIROO
KarateManChan37 - April 9, 2010
Ichiro!
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
How do I put a hit in my pocket?
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Ichiro!
Annoying.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Awesome.
Classic Ichi
the other side - April 9, 2010
That's one
Now string them hits….
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
First multi-hit game of the year!
drblacknwhite - April 9, 2010
That's his first infield hit of the season, correct?
I Lick Squirrels - April 9, 2010
How is Figgins going to drag it down the third base line?
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
Switch hit?
The Typical Idiot Fan - April 9, 2010
And go clockwise instead of counter clockwise?
The Typical Idiot Fan - April 9, 2010
Bunt?
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Third base line? Drag?
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
Aw, Figgy
Bearskin Rugburn - April 9, 2010
Figgins need to be less middlin'
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
I hate Figgins.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
But Figgins lost his rookie eligibility in 2003
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
That's not a walk
JBell523 - April 9, 2010
Kotchman, don't fuck this up
Bearskin Rugburn - April 9, 2010
If you do, I'll shove sand up your ass and fuck you
Bearskin Rugburn - April 9, 2010
I don't see how this benefits you
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
I wear protection
Bearskin Rugburn - April 9, 2010
Pretty sure sand is gonna damage a condom
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Who said condom?
Bearskin Rugburn - April 9, 2010
Bear suit?
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Disposable cock
use it once and trash it
Bearskin Rugburn - April 9, 2010
Rasputin's?
harkening - April 9, 2010
Strap on?
hairofthedawg - April 9, 2010
Seems the structural integrity of the protection would be jeopardized rather fast
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Might give him a rash.....
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
A rash?
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
You and acblue said exactly the same thing.
Except you didn’t.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
Fascinating.
Matthew - April 9, 2010
Should I have asked for advice?
Bearskin Rugburn - April 9, 2010
Fucking groupthink
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Hey,
that’s what I just said. Except not.
Matthew - April 9, 2010
It's about punishing Kotchman
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
This might do some penial damage.
Bicycle Rider - April 9, 2010
The Rangers traded for Colby Rasmus apparently
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
He does better when he doesn't swing.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Now would be a good time to swipe a bag to avoid the dp
OlSalty - April 9, 2010
or not.
harkening - April 9, 2010
But do it better
OlSalty - April 9, 2010
Damn you Salty
KarateManChan37 - April 9, 2010
Not Salty.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Sweet Taylor
jtopps - April 9, 2010
Good Call
the other side - April 9, 2010
FUCK!!!
the other side - April 9, 2010
Wow. That wasn't even close.
harkening - April 9, 2010
I didn't know Dave Niehaus mention Guti's sexy nickname from that diving catch.
DEATH TO FLYING THINGS!!!
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
I caught the one on the radio, didn't know he pulled that one out on the television side.
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
Bah.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
SHIT
Alto - April 9, 2010
Perfect throw
Nothing better.
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
God
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Ichiro out by a mile.
Ender15 - April 9, 2010
That's just a great throw
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
Nice steal attempt, except it was horrible and a walk came on the next pitch
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
And then a Kotchman walk.
Twilight Zone!
harkening - April 9, 2010
Can we have some god damn fucking offense?
No striking out Bradley.
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
First time Ichiro has actually been thrown out stealing a base....
Umpires…
The Typical Idiot Fan - April 9, 2010
I look forward to the day that we get these kind of tactics ironed out.
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
That's how Teagarden gets revenge for all his grade school beatings.
aguay - April 9, 2010
Ichiro is running too much this year.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
He's playing like a rookie out there
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Is that a good thing?
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Fuck no
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
He had a monster rookie year!
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Looks like he's trying to create offense while every one else sleeps.
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
I wonder if Bradley might to better batting right
against pitchers without much of a split
Bearskin Rugburn - April 9, 2010
A Lewis-Vargas duel
Hold on to your butts
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
Bradley might be hanging around Griffey too much.
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
Drink Coors!
It’s what miners in Cripple Creek drank!
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
I have theories on how that creek got its name
It’s not pleasant.
Gihyou - April 9, 2010
Probably shouldn't mine after all that Coors
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Probably shouldn't have all that Coors
Gihyou - April 9, 2010
Mining is a recreational hobby of mine
and I find it more enjoyable after a few brewskis
Matthew - April 9, 2010
What do you mine for?
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Boogers?
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Do you mine for boogers?
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Do you pick your nose
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
I pick my nose.
But that shouldn’t surprise anyone.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
I mine for mine.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
I honestly haven't thought this through
I just like the image of me coming home from work, popping a beer, drinking it and then standing up, stretching, turning to my (non-existent) wife and saying “be back later honey, I’m gonna go mine for a bit”
Matthew - April 9, 2010
This would've been funnier without the "for a bit"
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
I disagree
the “for a bit” implies a transient activity which is funnier because who mines just for a bit? People mine because they have to. “I’m gonna go mine” reads like I’m making a mid-life crises change of course.
Matthew - April 9, 2010
"Be back in a bit honey, I'm gonna go mine"
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
You should probably listen to me
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
No, I'm taking a stand on this one
Matthew - April 9, 2010
"for a bit"
Matthew - April 9, 2010
I mean it would've been better without the "for a bit" at the end
You have to end with the mining.
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
No.
Matthew - April 9, 2010
Say it out loud
In order to achieve maximum humor potential, it is advised that you end abruptly with the key word.
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
I'm not getting it
JLC - April 9, 2010
You're not saying it with the right amount of exhale on the "for a bit"
You need to end with a “ahhh” like after having a sip of soda
Matthew - April 9, 2010
Nope
You’re wrong
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
You weakened the statement. Don't back into or qualify the subject of your sentence.
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Thank you
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Probably shouldn't do anything after a Coors
including drink more Coors
jtopps - April 9, 2010
Tha Banquit Burr
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
It makes me sad that Sam Elliot does Coors and beef council ads.
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
I hate Coors, it causes so much gas buildup....
….oh
OlSalty - April 9, 2010
Arlington isn't a house of horrors for the Mariners.
It’s a house of horrors for baseball.
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Wak opined his lead-off hitters were pressing.
I don’t think they are the only ones.
msb - April 9, 2010
Vargas with the sexy scoop.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Vargas
Youre my hero for today
KarateManChan37 - April 9, 2010
I love Jason Vargas
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Nice play by Vargas.
joof - April 9, 2010
Nice scoop!
Moore-esque!
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Dave Sims definitely just made the Zoidberg noise
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Or the Three Stooges noise
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Vargas looks like he has baggy eyes
KarateManChan37 - April 9, 2010
This is what the team should look like all season in regards to defense and pitching
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Gotta take the good with the bad.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Nice timing
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Nothing wrong with the pitching or defence there.
Just Vladimir fucking Guerrero.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Fuck.
the other side - April 9, 2010
SHIT SHIT SHIT
KarateManChan37 - April 9, 2010
FUCK YOU VLAD
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Ugh we need to score some runs.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
God fucking dammit
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Fucking hell
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
FUCK
ChelseaMariner - April 9, 2010
Vlad wrecks us again,
Game over.
Ender15 - April 9, 2010
Yep, down a run in the 6th.
Might as well just hang ourselves
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Should have done that after the Cruz HR last time.
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Haven't you read the rest of his posts?
He’s not what I’d call optimistic.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Vargas stop being Vargas
Alto - April 9, 2010
That was efficient.
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
Only Guerrero could hit that ball and get any air under it.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
FUCK VLAD.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
I guess the Mariners are the new Rangers for Vlad
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
Boy, I'm sure glad we have Griffey
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
Our plan:
Ruin Vlad’s knees for the rest of the series
jtopps - April 9, 2010
I see Vlad is still a buttfucker, just in a different uniform
JLC - April 9, 2010
That was a terrific pitch
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Yep, just Vlad being himself
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Which is why Vlad crushed it.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Vargas has put the ball where it needs to be.
They are just going and getting it. Low and outside is getting torn up.
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Remember we are still in Texas.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
And?
Matthew - April 9, 2010
Texas is going to score more runs.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
I thought were suggesting the Mariners could come back due to the ballpark.
Silly me.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
And I was talking about the Ranges powerful lineup not, the park factor.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Texas has too many rookies in their lineup
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
This is my bit you son of a bitch
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
I've been doing it the whole time too =(
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Then why mention the location?
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Let's not try to apply logic to Kevin Casey
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Sorry, rookie mistake.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Yeah they're not all rookies
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Because park factors apply only to the home team?
Matthew - April 9, 2010
Oh yeah, we are going to score some as well.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
I already said it's gonna be like 20-1.
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
That was a line drive
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Seriously Fuck Cruz
the other side - April 9, 2010
Oh boy.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
Game really over.
Turning it off until Felix Day.
Ender15 - April 9, 2010
New rule:
If you say this, you have to actually do it.
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
I did.
Trust me.
Ender15 - April 9, 2010
No reason to remain in the GT then!
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Agreed.
I’m gonna go get a beer. Oh…have to do it now.
jtopps - April 9, 2010
Stop posting then.
Matthew - April 9, 2010
Never stops me
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
DOUBLE FUCK
ChelseaMariner - April 9, 2010
I fucking love this shit
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
Gah!
Ke$ha!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Uh-oh.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
I really don't like how this is going
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
I hate Texas
JLC - April 9, 2010
I hate AL west and the Yankees
Besides Mariners.
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Mariners, too.
sanford_and_son - April 9, 2010
Then why are you watching the game?
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Sarcasm, bro.
sanford_and_son - April 9, 2010
I hate the state
JLC - April 9, 2010
Woo defense
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Okay upon reply that was a tough play
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Replay*
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Well fuck our shit.
I Lick Squirrels - April 9, 2010
KOTCHMAN YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT
Alto - April 9, 2010
Wonder what it would be like to have a power hitter in the line-up.
msb - April 9, 2010
Weird and exciting
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
That was unusual.
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
Prevented a double though
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
This is team is built on turning those balls into outs, if they can't do that, they aren't
very good
Rudy4three - April 9, 2010
They're not going to make every single play
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
What the shit just happen?
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Ok, time to get the beer out.
msb - April 9, 2010
YES
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
I hate Baseball
Such a garbage sport.
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
Sod off then.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Aw, come on-it's agony and ecstasy.
wazzu93 - April 9, 2010
This would make a good parody to ebony and ivory.
the other side - April 9, 2010
Not a Carol Reed fan I take it
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Only if Ichiro and Junior sing it
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
Seriously, these commercials are making me want to turn the game off way more than the game itself.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Those animals could score more runs than our offense
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
Makes me want to go on a hike.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
But...defense
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Shawn Kelley!
I missed you!
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Well i have discovered
That both Stone – Levitation and Odell IPA are fucking lovely bers
ChelseaMariner - April 9, 2010
Did you mean burrs?
seattle_since_81 - April 9, 2010
Riveting tale
JBell523 - April 9, 2010
Things like this are perfectly acceptable in a gamethread.
Random observations, beer talk, that sort of thing.
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Gotcha
JBell523 - April 9, 2010
We need some double penetration action here.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Although that will work as well.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Carlos Silva, people
6IP, 3H, 1ER, 0BB, 3K
71 pitches
aguay - April 9, 2010
Yay small sample size!
seattlecougar - April 9, 2010
Still better than What Bradley has done for us so far
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Not really?
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
One. Start.
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
HR!!
And got robbed of another
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
But sadly they did not counted as HRs.
Unfortunate.
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
False.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
One. Start.
Matthew - April 9, 2010
Yeah, doesn't mean it's not worth knowing in a trivial way
aguay - April 9, 2010
Who the fuck cares?
He’s not on our team anymore.
seattle_since_81 - April 9, 2010
And had his lead blown by the Cubs bullpen.
drblacknwhite - April 9, 2010
Fat fucker won't get a win for it either
JBell523 - April 9, 2010
Well, I for one am glad to see him doing well!
Actually, I am not.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Man, remember how good he was for us?
He was 3-0 in his first three starts!
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Carlos Silva, April 2, 2008
7IP, 3H, 1ER, 3BB, 5K
I Lick Squirrels - April 9, 2010
Home opener vs. the Angels last season:
7 IP, 2 R, 4 H, 4 K, 1 BB.
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Apparently Teagarden was too busy getting beat up to learn how to count.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
"I tipped it"
You’re still out
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Yes, you do only get three strikes.
MarinerFaninAZ - April 9, 2010
Awww fuck.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
Why.
Alto - April 9, 2010
Sigh, we're boned
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
This turned to shit pretty quickly.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
I love how Lewis is Pedro Martinez now
Why do they always settle down after the first inning?
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
Classic Rangers inning right here!
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Arse
ChelseaMariner - April 9, 2010
Yeah that's great to see when someone has two strikes
JLC - April 9, 2010
What is this???
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
This is 1-4.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
So, what to we do when they hit good pitches where we ain't
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Lose.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
FUCK
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Might as well turn it off now.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
Jesus, this is annoying.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Oh My
ChelseaMariner - April 9, 2010
There is a part of me that misses 2008
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Does this part also make you want to carve your initials in your arm?
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
I like when blogging is easy
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Winning a game would be cool
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
This is painful
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Malaise
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Now this is looking all too familiar.
msb - April 9, 2010
Ass balls
Alto - April 9, 2010
I've seen other Mariner teams have better starts to the season
JLC - April 9, 2010
Yay more runs!
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Well this started nicely.
the other side - April 9, 2010
So, this is what it feels like to have a team score runs.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
On the bright side we're doing so poorly that we can't possibly do worse
Corco - April 9, 2010
Are we at rock bottom yet?
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
There's no floor
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Felix is pitching tomorrow.
the other side - April 9, 2010
No, the Mariners' team isn't comprised entirely of rookies yet.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
Someone explain this phenomenon to me.
joof - April 9, 2010
Facebook msg incoming
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Send me one also.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Thank you! I found your message informative and helpful!
joof - April 9, 2010
Christ almighty, someone's killed it already
JLC - April 9, 2010
I will never do anything again
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
God everything funny gets killed here in like 2 days
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
.
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
So tiny
jtopps - April 9, 2010
Least surprised face
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
Size of surprise face is inversely proportional to level of surprise
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
It seems more directly propotional.
Unless you’re talking about ironic surprise or something.
joof - April 9, 2010
Should have put surprise in quotes
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
It's so little.
seattle_since_81 - April 9, 2010
Almost everything
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
That's just not true, this shit could get worse at any second.
sanford_and_son - April 9, 2010
I'm of the opinion that we're getting all of our losses out of the way now so we can go 100-0 the last 62 games of the season
Corco - April 9, 2010
That's gonna be quite the feat
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
That's, uh
Interesting.
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
Oh shit
Corco - April 9, 2010
You know what I mean
Corco - April 9, 2010
I think we can still do worse if the deficit gets larger.
Bicycle Rider - April 9, 2010
More than 1 run=we're screwed
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
We scored 5 runs twice in a more hostile run enviroment.
joof - April 9, 2010
The good news is, the GRIFFMONSTER leads it off!
7 run homerun heeeeere weeee goooooooooo!
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Atleast he can't hit into a DP
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Sup Bitches
Robert - April 9, 2010
I'm outtie
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
I'm only here for like 5 minutes
You need to stay cause I sure as hell aint bringing it home.
Robert - April 9, 2010
Fuck it - Lets see if this still works
GO RALLY PUPPY GO!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Love rally puppy and Jeffkitty.
wazzu93 - April 9, 2010
If this doesn't work, I don't know what to do anymore
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
That dog must be massive by now.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
90lbs so far.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Keep Barking!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
We winning?
Robert - April 9, 2010
Let me ask Last Fan Of Jose Lopez
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
The score is David Eckstein koala
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
God dammit LFOJL
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
You're a monster for banning him
OlSalty - April 9, 2010
rawr
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Home opener on Monday people! Let's look at the bright side.
wazzu93 - April 9, 2010
Yeah, they can have crushing defeats in front of the home fans.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
Season over before we even get home.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Booooooo.
wazzu93 - April 9, 2010
Game over.
There is infinitesimal possibility that this Mariners team can score more than 5.
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Ridiculous
bluemax - April 9, 2010
After all, the Mariners made Colby Lewis look like a Cy Young winner again.
Screw this
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Do we still have Roberto Petagine's number?
What’s he up to, babysitting some nephews or something?
aguay - April 9, 2010
HIT A GOD DAMN HOME RUN
seattlecougar - April 9, 2010
THAT'S NOT A GOD DAMN HOME RUN
seattlecougar - April 9, 2010
Holy shit
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Single bitches!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Hey, good to see us get one of those.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
What was that?
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
An annoying groundball that somehow found its way through the infield.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Old veterans that cant hit.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
Well, if Griffey hits badly enough, he'll retire.
So there’s that.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Not in the middle of the season he won't
JLC - April 9, 2010
It depends on how badly he's hitting.
.150 in July? The FO will have a talk with him.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
JR!!!!!
wazzu93 - April 9, 2010
PR!!!!!!!
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
GRIFFEY HIT MACHINE
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Vindicated!
Bicycle Rider - April 9, 2010
Grif's up to. 200!!!!
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Wow he hit a ball and got on base holy wow
Alto - April 9, 2010
GRIFFEY STILL HAS SOMETHING IN THE TANK
Corco - April 9, 2010
"The Mariners need to put hits together".
Mike Blowers = the new Ron Fairly.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Rizzs came up with "The Mariners have their work cut out for them."
msb - April 9, 2010
By this time, I think if you expect more from Rizzs, you have your own issues.
But Blowers, I expect more than “in this game, you need four balls for a walk”.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Base hit!
That’s good for like a dry hump of the pillow
OlSalty - April 9, 2010
Griffdawg like the Rally Puppy.
msb - April 9, 2010
Lopez hates dogs.
the other side - April 9, 2010
Holy shit the Rangers promo girl in the stands is fucking gorgeous
Corco - April 9, 2010
Can I get her number?
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Almost certainly yes
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Thanks.
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
STC
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Love the Texas girls.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Yes, yes, yes
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
.
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
Pics or she didn't happen.
esoteric - April 9, 2010
I don't have MLB.tv Premium so I can't rewind
Corco - April 9, 2010
Bad esoteric
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Sorry, it's been awhile and I'm rusty.
esoteric - April 9, 2010
Like on a scale of 1-10, what would you rate her?
JLC - April 9, 2010
No Corco-baiting
Corco - April 9, 2010
Since when?
JLC - April 9, 2010
Since iT bEcame a baNnable offense
Corco - April 9, 2010
Got it ;D
JLC - April 9, 2010
No Dave, it could get considerably worse
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
GOOD JOB
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
Byrnes'd it.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
How many pop ups do we have now?
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Thanks a lot Mike.
“Lopez has been swinging well”.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
He didn't say he's been connecting well.
Just swinging.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Ah, good point.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
Hey both my teams suck -- again.
I’m getting used to this.
esoteric - April 9, 2010
GUTI!
the other side - April 9, 2010
They have peanut girls?
They’re all bums in Oakland.
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
2 hits in one inning
Beast mode activated
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
Guti!
harkening - April 9, 2010
Oh Guti
I love you
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
Hits!
Alto - April 9, 2010
Now would be a good time for Adam Moore to hit a home run
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Moore Powah!
ChelseaMariner - April 9, 2010
Hey, a multiple hit inning!
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Hey, a mulitple hit inning!
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
4th time this year we've had a multi hit inning
bluemax - April 9, 2010
Multiple hit inning!
How the bar has been lowered…
jtopps - April 9, 2010
Sims: "There's a base hit, HEY!! MULTIPLE-HIT INNING!"
I know, right?
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
Mariners threatening
Oh wait it’s Adam Moore
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
3-1 count!
harkening - April 9, 2010
Sims has to stop pointing out that something is brewing.
It’s a sure guarantee that nothing will be brewed.
msb - April 9, 2010
Referring to his coffee pot, to keep from dozing off
jtopps - April 9, 2010
TAKE TAKE TAKE
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
We need a pinch runner for Griffey
Badly.
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
How badly?
I mean, Eric Byrnes is on the bench.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Oh no, not him.
I was thinking of Tui
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Langer...oh
Corco - April 9, 2010
Adam Moore = MICKEY TETTLETON
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Holy shit a 3-0 count.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
MORE BALLS PLEASE
JBell523 - April 9, 2010
rec'd
joof - April 9, 2010
So is Adam Moore now Pujols?
joof - April 9, 2010
NOT.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Yeah, it was a 3-2 count.
joof - April 9, 2010
He will K
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
damn, he didnt
But now we have our power coming up!!!
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
I like how Blowers mentioned Wilson
Like he’s some monster. “He’s 1 for 2 with a double”
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
Moore-walk!
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Stubbs can hit a grand slam, why cant Jack Wilson.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
God I wish Hannahan wasn't hurt.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Rally Puppy says Jack Wilson is going yard!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Rally Puppy would be wrong.
the other side - April 9, 2010
Well she is a dog.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Looks like a match made in heaven
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
WALK!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
I love your sig coming right after "WALK!" in this instance.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Walk!
Here comes Wilson!
harkening - April 9, 2010
Hah, Lewis.
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
Jack Wilson not exactly a home run threat? We'll see about that!
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
Wheeeeee!
wazzu93 - April 9, 2010
YEAH BASES JUICED FOR JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSONNNNNNN
JLC - April 9, 2010
THE SACKS ARE DRUNK FOR JACK WILSON
IT IS LIKE DESTINY.
Only with someone other than Wilson.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Time for the Jack Wilson MEGADONG
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Ewww.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
ADAM MOORE IS ON BASE
Alto - April 9, 2010
JUICED!
sanford_and_son - April 9, 2010
Moorea walk!
Bases loaded! For Jack Wilson…
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
"Bases LOADED!!!" = Get excited!
For Jack Wilson = Fuck.
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
Pinch hit Tui
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
And let him finish the game at shortstop?
BrianL - April 9, 2010
But Jack Wilson has the HOT HAND
1 FOR 2!!!
aguay - April 9, 2010
Not Jack!!!
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Jack Wilson time, baby!
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
I did not expect that to happen.
esoteric - April 9, 2010
So uh, give me some predictions
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
GIDP
w00tah - April 9, 2010
K
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
loser
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
You win!
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Double play
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
Under
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
I just hope we can get this to Ichiro
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
Oh shit it's Jack Wilson
Alto - April 9, 2010
Current baserunner situation : Millenium Falcon :: Jack Wilson : Event Horizon
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
I don't get it.
Robert - April 9, 2010
We know
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
This answer is starting to get out.
Robert - April 9, 2010
This answer is starting to get old*
Robert - April 9, 2010
I've got a bad feeling about this
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
Try a different cologne
Maybe buy some nicer clothes.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
It did make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs!
harkening - April 9, 2010
Did you cry in Even Horizon and are implying that Jack Wilson will make you cry?
Robert - April 9, 2010
You don't know what an Event Horizon is
Aaron Campeau - April 9, 2010
What is a pinch hitter?
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
What is WE DON'T HAVE ANOTHER SHORTSTOP
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Sweendog at short!
joof - April 9, 2010
Tui fun!
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
That was my point.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
That you want to see Matthew Tuiasosopo at shortstop?
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Because that's a fucking horrible idea
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
And how!
BrianL - April 9, 2010
It was sarcasm. I understand we have no backup SS. Thats why it was funny.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
I can't believe you missed this, BrianL.
JLC - April 9, 2010
I have no idea what I missed.
God I’m so confused.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
(it's a joke saying that the sarcasm wasn't evident at all)
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Oh I see.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
What a rookie mistake.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
80 MPH GAS
THAT’S THE CHEESE
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
HERE COMES A JACK FROM JACK WILSON
JLC - April 9, 2010
My expectations are very low
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
WOOOOO ICHIRO!
w00tah - April 9, 2010
HOW SURPRISING!
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
ICHIROOOOOOO
seattlecougar - April 9, 2010
Not a double play!
Alto - April 9, 2010
Well on the bright side it wasn't a DP.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
That was pathetic
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
Jack.
the other side - April 9, 2010
NNOOOOOOOOOO DICE
JLC - April 9, 2010
That was a sorry at bat
I think Ichiro oughta get a hit here
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
HE DIDN'T GIDP!
Crystal for DH - April 9, 2010
That was well located.
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
What a cocktease
JBell523 - April 9, 2010
I'm pleased that wasn't a double play.
JY - April 9, 2010
Now I am not pleased at all.
JY - April 9, 2010
Be a good time to work towards 200 hits
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Come on Ichiro
joof - April 9, 2010
That was the best possible outcome
Corco - April 9, 2010
Seriously, I'm not sure Jack Wilson is a major league hitter anymore.
It’s not just his stats – that’s small sample size – it’s that he looks physically unable to hit the ball out of the infield.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
He did just that in this game for a base hit
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
But yes, in general he does not look like a major league hitter
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Remember 2001?
2 Outs? So what!
Matt Erickson - April 9, 2010
Remember 2001?
We had talent.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Same leadoff hitter!
joof - April 9, 2010
Its 2010
We have no offense this year
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
Whoa 2010 is the same numbers as 2001
Corco - April 9, 2010
Come on, ichi!
sanford_and_son - April 9, 2010
Grand Slam Time!
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
You are a bad person and a jinxer.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Mike Blowers is begging for the Mariners to do something here
JLC - April 9, 2010
GAH!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Fuck balls
okdan - April 9, 2010
Ichiro makes me cry.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Ah Shit.
the other side - April 9, 2010
GOD
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
God fucking damnit
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
Fuck this team.
wilsonpdx - April 9, 2010
You gotta love these guys!
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
I hate my life
Alto - April 9, 2010
Take out the mustard and rye bread this time grandma....oh wait.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Time for us to kill ourselves
jtopps - April 9, 2010
We are our own ruiner of dreams
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
Cocks
I Lick Squirrels - April 9, 2010
Sigh.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
This could be a frustrating season
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
I hate life
JLC - April 9, 2010
Well that's an unfortunate commercial placement
“Hey Ichiro, grab a seat.”
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Gadzooks
Corco - April 9, 2010
The Mariners should get a special exception, where bases loaded = 1 run.
okdan - April 9, 2010
It is quite the feat.
Bicycle Rider - April 9, 2010
Let's go protest in front of Bud Selic's office.
I rec’d this by the way
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Thanks for telling us
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
Fuck
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Atleast have the courtesy to go down in order if you're not going to score any runs.
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
Ichiro is not going to be winning an Oscar any time soon.
Just figured I would point that out.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Ichiro is brilliant.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Also, flagged.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Our bats need Cialis for daily use.
Big Jared - April 9, 2010
Just because it's harder doesn't mean they'll be any better at using it.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
At this point, its worth a try.
the other side - April 9, 2010
When the moment is right they still won't be ready.
Big Jared - April 9, 2010
Sigh.
sanford_and_son - April 9, 2010
Mmmmm nachos
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
Nachos were invented in Texas.
Therefore that last base hit was your fault.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Texans claim a lot of shit. Cheese on a chip I'll believe.
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
Fascinatingly, Wikipedia disagrees.
They were, in fact, invented in a border town—in Mexico!
harkening - April 9, 2010
Nah they probably robbed some texan and brought them back across the border.
the other side - April 9, 2010
I was making fun of Texans. Putting cheese on a corn chip seems about simple enough.
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
This team will lose at least 90 games this year unless Jack makes a trade for people who can actually hit
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
I'd take Yunel Escobar
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HARPER HARPER HARPER YEAH
UNH UNH UNH
JLC - April 9, 2010
Probably picked number one this year, probably signs.
JY - April 9, 2010
With Nationals?
Nationals might not have that bad year this season
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
They don't need to, they have the #1 pick this year.
JY - April 9, 2010
Oh yeah, my apologies
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
They already have the number one pick for the Jun draft where Harper will be drafted.
joof - April 9, 2010
Time to hop on the Nationals badwagon!
JLC - April 9, 2010
Hop on the Wang.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
LOL!
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Chatspeak is allowed now?
the other side - April 9, 2010
It was sarcastic
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
As was my comment.
the other side - April 9, 2010
God I'm confused
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
This game sucks.
the other side - April 9, 2010
He was plugging the site.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Ban Jeff!
Wait…
harkening - April 9, 2010
Only if you're cool
JLC - April 9, 2010
Yes, that is very obvious from watching 5 whole games on the road.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Do you see anyone on this team that can drive in runs?
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
YEAH WE NEED MORE RBI GUYS
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Do you see driving in runs as a particular skill?
I see several people on this team that can get base hits and get on base.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Thats cool
But then who drives them in? As you just saw, nobody
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
Do you see driving in runs as a particular skill?
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Not to be rude.....
but really…..isnt the point of the game to score runs?
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
Not to be rude
But your point is stupid.
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
hahaha
ok
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
He's right you know.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Its not stupid just because you dont agree with me
I am not calling you stupid because I dont agree with your point
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
No, it's stupid because it's not based on fact.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Correct!
BrianL - April 9, 2010
No, your point is decidedly stupid and wrong
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
But yours is actually stupid
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Your the only crazy one that thinks driving in runs is a skill.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
ESPN!
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
NIce people
Well great to be attacked for a point of view, I guess me first time on this blog will be my last, dicks.
spokanecougar - April 9, 2010
Bye!
BrianL - April 9, 2010
It's a stupid point of view.
Get off the freaking cross.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Rec'd
Nojf33 - April 9, 2010
No
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
This is ironic on so many levels
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
If I told the good people here the I thought 2+3=7, they would make fun of me
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Tard.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Catcher plus first base equals left field?
I don’t get it.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Sweeney?
krb - April 9, 2010
So so tempting.
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
Fuck it, this is one of my favorites.
You can trust me, I’m a professional engineer
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
You can't be this sensitive
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
It's "you're"
You are.
wilsonpdx - April 9, 2010
Scruffy gets to write whatever he wants
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
I was just very excited to be able to say it!
wilsonpdx - April 9, 2010
A charming re-enactment of a scene from Rush Hour.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
When did coach change his screen name?
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Same time NOLA did
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Wait, what's Coach's new screen name?
Corco - April 9, 2010
Coach Owens
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
No that's his old screen name
Corco - April 9, 2010
Its a joke cause coach is my internet grammar police
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
No, it's stupid because you're wrong.
It has nothing to do with agreement.
harkening - April 9, 2010
OK, here's the point so we're not just being mean
driving in runs is not a separate skill from reaching base. Players essentially have the same chance to get base hits whether or not there are men on base. Individual players do not perform better or worse in “clutch” situations.
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Yes. But driving in runs is not a skill!
joof - April 9, 2010
Acctually, no, it's to score more runs then the other team.
joof - April 9, 2010
If you can single to get on base you can single to drive in runs
Anyone who can single can drive in runs
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
1 inning is probably an adequate sample size to make judgments off of
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
It's almost like you're insinuating it isn't.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Hey now that's crazy talk
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
The Mariners need some clutch hitters like David Eckstein or maybe David Ortiz.
What is Joe Carter doing right now?
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
I agree.
There is no sport more geared towards making accurate snap judgements based on 2 at-bats than baseball.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
I don't know, I think cricket could be geared toward it, also.
Plus it’s the only other sport that I could think of where you would be judging at bats.
seattle_since_81 - April 9, 2010
Cricket is not a sport because I don't know anything about it.
My logic is unassailable.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
DRIVING IN RUNS AND GETTING ON BASE ARE THE SAME SKILL
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
They both require you to NOT MAKE OUTS
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
But clutchiness.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Remember 2007 when Yuni was the 9th clutchest hitter in baseball?
turns out he really sucks
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Ichiro Suzuki, Chone Figgins, Casey Kotchmanm, Milton Bradley, Jose Lopez, and 21 other players are eligible to drive in runs
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
In fairness, Jack Wilson had his RBI card taken away from him during spring training.
He was using it to try to pick up loose women.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Damn, I meant only 20 other players
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Incorrect
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
Come on, guy.
sanford_and_son - April 9, 2010
EVERYONE OFF THE BANDWAGON
BrianL - April 9, 2010
I'm hanging on!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
I think the bandwagon just blew up.
the other side - April 9, 2010
Thank God now gamethreads are readable.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Liriano 5 walks 3 Ks. Sucked in Twins
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
Well this game officially sucks.
the other side - April 9, 2010
Looks like Texas batting practice now.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Close!
Shawn Kelly is pitching.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Ah, well, then we should put Shawn Kelley in.
He’s a major league pitcher.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Looks like Texas is heating up.
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
Well, they got Toronto's pitching staff out of town.
msb - April 9, 2010
Fuck Chris Snyder
I blame this on him.
OceanBird - April 9, 2010
So, if the lead-off hitters were pressing before, I'd hate to think what will happen now.
I’d like to see an Ichiro snap.
msb - April 9, 2010
Game over.
okdan - April 9, 2010
Texas' baserunning is pretty good today
JLC - April 9, 2010
Baseball, you betrayed me again you whore
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Defense and pitching
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Jesus tittyfucking Christ
Corco - April 9, 2010
Hahaha
JBell523 - April 9, 2010
So if the Royals outperform us this year, what does that mean?
Corco - April 9, 2010
That they performed at a higher level than did our team.
okdan - April 9, 2010
#2 pick after Washington next year?
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
I still believe that Pittsburgh will have #1 pick
I don’t know why
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Pitt took 2 of 3 from the Dodgers
So they look more promising right now.
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
That means Yuni wins.
sanford_and_son - April 9, 2010
Shouldn't have traded Yuni!!
the other side - April 9, 2010
Bryce Harper!
Crystal for DH - April 9, 2010
Felix wins the Cy Young
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Cliff Lee signs with some AL East team
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Then the M's would have to abandon the pitching and defense philosophy
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Well, what can I say?
I don’t think we deserved to have Cliff Lee in the organization if we perform like this all year.
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Grass Creek goes to them.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
BURN THE TREE!
joof - April 9, 2010
I should go watch the High School game down the street.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
If it means you have no access to the internet then I support this idea.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Cheers.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
If it means you listen to the Prof then I support this idea
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Glad this is such a friendly place.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
We just want to know why the rookies are posting
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Didn't realize this was a private club. My bad.
Kevin Casey - April 9, 2010
Lots of rookies down there
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Sub rookies even. Probally worse.
joof - April 9, 2010
Yuniesky Betancourt is a major leaguer.
harkening - April 9, 2010
So the Diamond Jaxx are up 13-7
Liddi just hit a three run home run.
JY - April 9, 2010
Awesome
OlSalty - April 9, 2010
Yay Liddi!
I don’t know why I like Liddi so much, I think I just like random crappy players
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Liddi's not crappy >:(
JY - April 9, 2010
He was before Adelanto
(though I am hoping he maintains his gains and I get to like a really good player for once!)
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Call him up!
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Go Italy!
JLC - April 9, 2010
It's now 16-7 D-Jaxx
Following two bases loaded singles by Liddi and Dunigan.
JY - April 9, 2010
Huh.
So the High Desert guys are off to a rip-roarious start
JLC - April 9, 2010
Don't tell them they left Mavericks Stadium.
JY - April 9, 2010
I heard Mikhail Prokhorov is looking to buy the Mariners...
aguay - April 9, 2010
Defense and Fragrance
aguay - April 9, 2010
Thank you for getting yourself out, Nelson.
msb - April 9, 2010
I think Dave and Mike Salk are going to come to blows over Sweeney.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Which is funny because Sweeney blows
JY - April 9, 2010
Hilarious!
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Someone was going to do it.
Figured I could take one for the team.
JY - April 9, 2010
You're a good man.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
2-3 strikeouts are my favorite plays in the world.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
The Emerald Queen Casino did not bring us Pitch F/X technology
JLC - April 9, 2010
See, that strikeout is the type of thing that Sean White does for his team that won't show up in the statistics.
JLC - April 9, 2010
Real numbers!
harkening - April 9, 2010
Chris Davis swings and misses should be ignored when calculating a pitcher's ss%
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
Halman walked
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Walked yesterday too!
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
Doesn't that make two already!?
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
On five pitches!
Still more interested in the D-Jaxx game though…
Jeff Allison gave up ten runs in three and two-thirds innings and is still responsible for the bases being loaded.
JY - April 9, 2010
Lo struck out with the bases loaded.
Oh well, three-run inning.
JY - April 9, 2010
I may be getting to shoot a casino commercial.
I hope to god its like the Snoqualmie ones.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
There'd be all those improabably good looking people, imported from California!
msb - April 9, 2010
Actually they're all seattle based wanna be actors!
I’ve casted a couple of them for Intuit spots.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
And none of them look like people who actually hang out at Snoqualmie Casino.
Because they’re not wearing T-shirts that say “Who Farted?”
Shrug - April 9, 2010
Shrug!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Cast me!
I’m going commercial.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Well, looks like this is my last chance to get beer from Jose Lopez
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Blood from a pudgy stone
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Cool
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
Buh
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
One RBI, feck he's not an RBI guy either
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
DINGERS!
Crystal for DH - April 9, 2010
I'd be elated if we could score 6 runs in 9 innings, let alone 2
okdan - April 9, 2010
Spoke slightly too soon, possibly
okdan - April 9, 2010
Kotchman.
Beast.
harkening - April 9, 2010
KOTCHBOMB
Alto - April 9, 2010
CRUSHED!
joof - April 9, 2010
WHY DID THAT NOT HAPPEN LAST INNING?
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Kotchman!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
GOD
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
CRUSHED!!!!!!!!
seattle_since_81 - April 9, 2010
Why couldnt he have done this before.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
What the....?
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
Boy sure would have been nice to see that with runners on
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
If Casey Kotchman was clutch, he would have put a runner on base before he hit that.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
He had other at bats
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
Hey look you have numbers in your name.
What a surprise.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
You're right. He should have hit a pop up here and saved that homerun for another AB.
Baseball basically works the same as Magic: The Gathering.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
What?
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
If you spend so much time in your mom's basemen that you don't even know about MAGIC...
…I cannot help you!!!
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Fantastic!
joof - April 9, 2010
Bangarang Johnny Slick!
harkening - April 9, 2010
Whatever helps you sleep at night
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
What a terrible comeback.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Arguing on internet, etc
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
In fairness...
…the fact that I made a Magic: The Gathering reference on an Internet message board will in all probability cause me to stay awake for several hours before I finally cry myself to sleep.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Acceptance is the first step
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
AWW SHIT ABOUT TO GO ALL SHIVAN DRAGON ON THAT PITCHER
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Be all
TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP FIREBALL
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
My respect level for you just plummeted.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Your words can't hurt me!
I have Circle of Protection: White
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Brian's yellow
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Not as yellow as you.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Nice comeback
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Yeah well you smell.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
As close as I could get!
There’s no yellow in magic.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Also you're just jealous because I have a Phyrexian Dreadnought.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Even I didn't play Magic growing up.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Really? It's through the roof over here.
joof - April 9, 2010
You're pretty excited about this development
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
FUCK THAT I WOULD JUST BE LIKE
COUNTERSPELL BIATCH
JLC - April 9, 2010
Yeah, I played blue to my brother's red deck.
So I’m with you.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
.
msb - April 9, 2010
Brillaint.
joof - April 9, 2010
Getting RBI is a skill!
Kotchman fails.
harkening - April 9, 2010
That is how you have RBI skills.
seattle_since_81 - April 9, 2010
Clutch hitters cause men to materialize on base.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
SCREW FACE DONG
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Do that more.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Casey!
the other side - April 9, 2010
What the fuck do you think you're doing, Kotchman?
JLC - April 9, 2010
Damn, everybody gets to hit homeruns in Texas!
Even Dr. Ground Ball!
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Hahahaha, what?
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Kotchman yay
I Lick Squirrels - April 9, 2010
That was fucking yanked.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Huh
OlSalty - April 9, 2010
Kotchman, WOO!
Do that, Griffey!!
seattlecougar - April 9, 2010
Griffey doesn't know where the outfield is anymore
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Seemed like some good hitter face there.
seattle_since_81 - April 9, 2010
There is no way that only went 406 feet
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Nice Kotch!
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
HIT A HOME RUN YOU BASTARD
seattlecougar - April 9, 2010
Did someone forget to tell Milton he hits really well in Texas?
msb - April 9, 2010
I like how 406 feet is upper deck at Arlington
OlSalty - April 9, 2010
BLAH
seattlecougar - April 9, 2010
I'm glad I didn't give up smoking for this challenge
Because every Griffey not-HR makes me want a cigarette. And Safeway Chinese Food. At least I can have one of these things.
seattlecougar - April 9, 2010
Smoking is probably the safer option anyway.
Although not nearly as tasty.
harkening - April 9, 2010
That feeling of very slight hope was rather fleeting
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
Bradley. =(
Junior. =(
harkening - April 9, 2010
Byrnes'd
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
Very much so.
Love the Burned special
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Byrnes special*
Stupid auto correct on my Droid
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
OH MY GOD TELL ME ABOUT IT
Mine changes “Fister” to “Foster”, which means like 70% of the time I misspell the 2nd greatest name in the history of baseball.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
(#1 by the way is 1930s pitcher Herb Hash)
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
RUSTY KUNTZ
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
That would be up there but for his insistence on pronouncing his name "Koontz".
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Whatever.
Figgins wants to be called Sean, and I don’t have to listen to him either.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
I have noticed you have refused to mention Randy Johnson.
This makes you a terrorist.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
What about Tim Spooneybarger?
JLC - April 9, 2010
Are you sure that's a baseball player and not a character The Bard's Tale?
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
*from*
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
A girl in the SI spotlight section had the name Misty Hymen
Still my personal favorite.
cwel87 - April 9, 2010
What's the first?
harkening - April 9, 2010
The overwhelmingly predictable pop up
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Good thing I am poor that I can't afford such a good cell phone that allows misspells.
It’s quite nice to have a laptop though
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
I predict that Milton will, at some point this season, get a hit on a ball he puts in play.
Kaorikaze - April 9, 2010
I wonder if players are being ironic when they say it's an honor and a privilege playing with Ken Griffey Jr.
JLC - April 9, 2010
He makes them look good in comparison
Gihyou - April 9, 2010
We Believe!
speedomike - April 9, 2010
Why is Sean White pitching again?
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
At least it's not a tie game.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Because this game is lost
OlSalty - April 9, 2010
We Believe
Because Jack Wilson said so
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
FELIX TOMORROW! WOOOOOOOOOO!
w00tah - April 9, 2010
Yeah it's gonna suck when you lose 2-0.
Poor Felix will be so sad :(
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
I think you mean "we"
Or have you decided to turn traitor?
JLC - April 9, 2010
"angels fan in seattle"
harkening - April 9, 2010
Have you read his sig, JLC?
He’s an Angels fan.
seattle_since_81 - April 9, 2010
Barely
JLC - April 9, 2010
So you have already begun to distance yourself I see.
the other side - April 9, 2010
Atleast we signed the king long term
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
I don't know what this is from but it is awesome.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Tonights Stl-Mil game
Pujols foul ball in the 5th I think
laxtonto - April 9, 2010
God Sean White should've been in this game earlier, am I right?
JLC - April 9, 2010
Bahahaha, Blowers called him Neftali Perez, too
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
So
What will Milton Bradley’s WAR be if he gets one hit every 5 games, but that one hit is a home run?
killer_ewok18 - April 9, 2010
about -3 over 600 PAs
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Probably worse than that, actually
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
If he gets walks every other time up, probably pretty good.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Poor
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Elvis Andrus and Julio Borbon look similar.
I Lick Squirrels - April 9, 2010
Yikes..
Wyoming.. Sorry bro
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
So, none of the starters has gotten a win yet.
I am very sad.
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
The team only has one win
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Please hit a home run
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
4 run inning time bitches
Griffin Cooper - April 9, 2010
A's up 3-0 already
speedomike - April 9, 2010
SWEENDOG SIGHTING
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
SWEENEY!
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
I miss Coco :(
BrianL - April 9, 2010
This is Jimmy Fallon....
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Well fuck that noise.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
I only rec'd this because I like Elmo.
Although your jinx skills mean Tui is hitting now.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Gah!
Posted to soon.
Scruffy Lefty - April 9, 2010
Shit, make a gif of Tui, quick!
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
That look on his face is hysterical.
wazzu93 - April 9, 2010
Bahahahaha
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Tui for Moore.
This is a puzzling move.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Because?
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Because now who will play catcher???
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Nobody.
The game is over.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
It ain't over 'till it's over!
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
*Tui's over
JLC - April 9, 2010
It's Tui?
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
Rather he have the experience on the way up than Sweeney on the way out.
Kermit. - April 9, 2010
I think Wak didn't want Sweendawg to feel sad about being the final out.
msb - April 9, 2010
Damn.
the other side - April 9, 2010
Christ
speedomike - April 9, 2010
OH LORD WE WILL LOSE 130 GAMES
5 GAMES IS A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Sorry Vargas
You deserved better for your efforts.
mariseanerhawk - April 9, 2010 via mobile
Vargas gave up like six line drives in the sixth inning
seattlebruin - April 9, 2010
Wasn't it like 3, and then Kelley gave up the rest?
joof - April 9, 2010
I think it's rather obvious that we need to bring back Rally Fries
JLC - April 9, 2010
You shut your whore mouth.
BrianL - April 9, 2010
I will shut it once it is filled to capacity with Rally Fries
JLC - April 9, 2010
They had to cut down on rally fries so they could fund the new FSNNW set.
w00tah - April 9, 2010
Never has such a falsehood been uttered.
Eyeball Kid - April 9, 2010
Perhaps a cartoon character fast food mascot could hand out foodstuffs in between innings?
Think of the marketing possibilities!
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Ken Griffey Jr and Mike Sweeney are deserving of major league roster spots.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Argh
Corco - April 9, 2010
Good to see you for five seconds, Tui
Ef the yankees - April 9, 2010
At least the Angels are already down 3-0 after one inning!
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Damn straight!
JLC - April 9, 2010
Felix Day tomorrow!
Go lineup
lemonverbena - April 9, 2010
The offense will probably crank out double digits in a Felix shut out.
the other side - April 9, 2010
Fuck me in my brain
You’re drivin me. insane.
vitalogist - April 9, 2010
Brainsex would do that probably.
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
Crawling in my skin
These wounds will not heal
/emo
blueside714 - April 9, 2010
aw
Jeff Sullivan - April 9, 2010
Hamburgers
Eyebrows - April 9, 2010
The good news is this early slide has made gamethreads much more tolerable!
BrianL - April 9, 2010
Oh Well,
Time to read Dave Cameron’s recap.
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
I thought "Slumpbuster Stadium" worked pretty well tonight...
ThundaPC - April 9, 2010
"Hey, it's the big leagues"
’cause we all know NPB imports SUCK at MLB. Also, the ones that do jump ship are totally never scouted in advance and are wholly unqualified to play here.
Fuck you, Bill Krueger.
harkening - April 9, 2010
He did call it 4-A.
Which is about accurate. Actually if I recall correctly NPB is about at the level of the PCL, which is still pretty high.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Money says an All-Star NPB team slaughters and All-Star PCL team.
harkening - April 9, 2010
Including guys who play half the year in the PCL before getting called up?
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Actually, yeah, because the NPB team would include guys who are "called up" to MLB.
The point wasn’t to say NPB is at an identical level to MLB, but that Krueger suggesting Colby Lewis was somehow a neophyte because he spent time in Japan is laughable.
harkening - April 9, 2010
So I just checked and hey, I was wrong.
http://www.baseballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=1330
I was basing my angle on a BP article written in 2001 and cited in the above article. Apparently they have refined their methodology and have NPB quite a bit higher, at approximately the level the AA was at when it folded/merged with the NL in the early 1890s. Still not quite at the full-on MLB level, of course (which nobody is arguing) but as good as any non-MLB league in baseball history.
So I stand corrected.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
Heh
Heyward 0-5 with 4 strikeouts.
the other side - April 9, 2010
I imagine he's trying to hit a home run every time he comes to the plate
Corco - April 9, 2010
Send him back to Gwinnett!
harkening - April 9, 2010
Ha ha, I didn't notice Kotchmonster's homerun grimace.
Someone needs to screen-capture that.
Johnny Slick - April 9, 2010
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