Lookout Landing

I've completely lost any faith I had in this organization

THAT IS NOT FAIR, THIS TEAM SHOULD NOT EVEN HAVE A CHANCE WERE IT NOT FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE

THIS JUST SUCKS.

Jack Zduriencik is letting this happen over and over again

He has faults, but that is not reason enough to burn the ship.

He's kind of like Jack Wilson. He can do one thing really well.

This is unfair

Stop.

This wasn't an insult and I'm not saying I think he's a bad GM

But it seems like the only thing he’s really good at is acquiring talent. If you give me examples of other things he’s done well, I’ll concede.

That's like 99.6% of a GM's job.

That’s like saying Da Vinci was good at painting but kind of a bad salesman.

Dude made awful coffee

Seriously hideous.

Hence the "I'm not saying I think he's a bad GM" part

It seems you guys took my original statement like I was saying he sucks. That’s not what I was saying at all. I’m simply saying that he could have put an end to a lot of the problems we’re seeing and the fact that he didn’t, and still hasn’t, is really hurting.

You're right, I'd much rather have Ed Wade

Omar Minaya will probably be looking for work next season...

You're putting words in my mouth

I'm merely trying to put things in perspective

There are many GMs proven to be awful who are currently employed by MLB teams. It’s not like Zduriencik has a long track record to go off of.

WE CANT EVEN LOSE RIGHT

We should have seen that coming.

WE DID

I know right!

God damn,

I turn my back for 2 seconds and we are back in this mess.

Time to trade Triunfel for Dan Wheeler

Wait was it Jeff Clement and Wlad Balentein for Chad Cordero?

That Geoff proposed?

I think it was some even more generic reliever with the Rays

It wasn’t Dan Wheeler but it was somebody of similar caliber

I think it was Al Reyes

Al Reyes

He was the shit in 2005

Why did we need to change pitchers to give up runs?

And his ERA stays the same. Go Sean White!

tintin - May 18, 2010 reply

Classic Sean White move

Dear Wak:

This team isn’t good enough for you to keep making these awful strategic decisions.

Please, figure out how to get better, because aside from your ingame strategy I think you’re awesome.

Lineups, player choices, etc.

Eh, lineups barely matter, and I don't know how much of the player decisions are Wak's fault.

I meant who makes it into the lineups, not the order.

Griffey! ~.210 wOBA! 100PA!

I believe there is too much we don't know re: the Griffey situation to pin it all on Wak

100 PA.

Yes I hate it too but I would like the whole story

Are we back to hating Armstrong?

I'd like to be

I hate everyone but Z!

Tell me about it

You're so slow to outrage these days

The Man keeps Jeff well medicated.

People who don't care don't get outraged

It must be hard to write about something you don't care about

I don't actually write anything

But you do type right?

You wrote fifteen paragraphs today

No I didn't

You got the Lookout Landing artificial intelligence module working, didn't you?

Knew there were advantages to being bankrolled.

Might you have written them tomorrow?

Gomez wrote them

I knew you were rockin his shit

No wonder they were unfunny and terrible

Sike!!

Does this classify as a meme?

I don't want to classify it

I don't see class

So it would be a Gomez meme then?

I hear ya

So Dave really writes for both USSM and LL?

Is this the truth behind the brain sharing?

That's my sentiment as well, and to a lesser extent with Sweeney.

I’m willing to pin things like crappy reliever usage and lack of pinch hitting on Wak, but that’s about as far as I’m willing to go.

After the moves that the FO has made, I can't believe they'd let this happen to this extent without prodding.

Preach on brotha

Don't get me wrong, I'm unhappy with Wak too.

But:

-Like Jeff says, we really don’t know if Wak has the final call on who plays how much, and there’s good reason to suspect he doesn’t;

-Who are we going to get that is better than him?

He is actively terrible.

I haven’t decided if this is a recent development or not, but he is costing this team wins.

I don't know. I'm not even sure I want him fired as much as I want Tony Blengino to sit down with him and teach.

Yep.

He’s not a retard at all, which is why admitting he sucks kind of sucks. It’s frustrating.

This is my hope, also.

Some of the skills that Wak DOES have are quite valuable.

He just doesn’t understand what players to use when, and that can be fixed.

Well, he also has a fundamental lack of appreciation for what matters.

Rob Johnson plays despite being good at nothing other than apparently 2010 Ben Sheets. Tui plays despite being a AAAB (he’s not AAAA yet, right?), and he’d rather keep Sweeney around than Langerhans. This stuff is demonstrably and unforgivably bad.

As was optioning Kelley

Right. There is not a single justification for it with any merit.

Nope

Also see: Griffey batting in a 1 run game against a lefty reliever.

I think some of his good qualities actually are also his bad ones.

He’s very very patient with veterans and wants to use them to help with his belief system, which is great… until they shouldn’t be playing.

My point about Earl Weaver and Casey Stengel being assholes sort of applies here- they were pretty damn ruthless about players and playing time, because they wanted to win, and THEY were in charge, and THEY knew what was going on.

Being a Wak apologist is sortof an awkward position right now.

I think he has the makings of a good manager, but I agree he is definitely costing the team games right now due to poor management choices.

I just don’t think what’s wrong with him is unfixable, and I also don’t know if we can get a clear picture of his skills while we’re running this terrible roster.

I think you could make the argument that, leverage factored in, he'll cost us ~10 wins this year.

This assumes you pin Griffey and Sweeney and Rob on him and the lack of roster flexibility and the bullpen management and baserunning and all that.

For instance, 100 PA of Griffey at .220 wOBA with no end in sight.

Aw man that smarts

And hey, now we get Tui at short for at least two innings!

Ya, that's gotta be awkward

You’re essentially saying he could be a good manager if he, you know, learns how to manage.

Well, sometimes the belief system needs to be adjusted for talent.

And yes, that means you might have to not be Mr. Nice Guy.

I'm not buying that Armstrong and Lincoln are calling the manager saying "put Junior in".

I can very certainly believe that there is some sort of minimum number of plate appearances and/or starts set for Griffey.

Sure, there are some written into the contract as incentives

But really, iff Griffey decides to start sulking because you aren’t playing his .175 hitting carcass, you ask him if that “I want to help the team” talk from the offseason was a bunch of bullshit or what?

There's articles which basically say that Wak ASKED for Sweeney.

Granted, GMZ could have said no, but still.

READ THAT AGAIN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

This is my hell.

Make some room man

I'd like a chair by the window.

.

So the guy made a mistake by coming back but get off his back. He’s a freakin Seattle icon and one of the best players of ALL time without shooting a needle in his rump. Just throw him in the 7th whole once or twice a week. He did have 19 homers last year or have you all forgotten. Yes he had a poor average but batting average is overrated. It’s about OBP and RBI’s.

Wasn't that from USSM?

I want to strangle that paragraph

Hurray for USS Mariner.

:(

If Griffey never did steroids my cock makes Ron Jeremy buy baggy shorts

This seems like an easy way to see if the Griff was on the juice.

Eh, there's really no evidence of it and it doesn't matter anyway.

What we do know is that he never gave a shit about his body

He is my least favorite good player ever

That title will always be held by Raul Ibanez

I hate Griffey so much more

I didn't start hating Griffey until this year

I've hated him since I was eight

Huh

He's always been a petulant twat with no sense of a work ethic and while I appreciate his talents I deplore laziness

I hated him when he forced his way out, liked him again, now hate hate him

Yep!

I've hated him since I realized he was mentally six years old

He's funnier now

Ichiro makes him funny.

Mentally six and physically sixty.

Not a good combination.

He sounds like an athlete

Derek Jeter.

Or are we just talking Mariners?

Aurthur Rhodes

I have very mixed feelings

I once read that Aruthur Rhodes tried to kill a guy.

Yes he did.

You look so different!

That's because there is a smile on my face.

No I think it's because the ravages of the drink had yet to take their toll on you

I think this as well.

I drink to get back to that moment.

That's not the right way, young one.

Please tell me how for the love of christ.

Make the Seahawks good again.

My first move as GM is to sign Matthew Hasselbeck to a long term extension.

That's not how you do it Rupert.

That's a weird thing.

Word

I think he might have been referring to things like Griffey playing, Griffey starting against lefties, etc

Aside from sucking as a pitcher, I bet Sean White is awesome too

Wak is starting to resemble Mike Sweeney

a great guy who can’t do his job.

I want him to be deported

He's as bas as Hargrove

Worse?

Getting there!

Can't believe this is the same guy who hit Branyan second

And Hitler was a decent painter, when you got down to it.

The problem is being a good at the people side of managing and crap at the ingame side means unless you’re Bob Brenly and you luck into hardware while doing some of the most bizarre decisions ever, you probably won’t get a long career.

Also, Earl Weaver was kind of an asshole.

Which is sort of related to my point above.

So were Casey Stengel, Billy Martin, and Dick Williams.

Ladies and gentlemen, Sean White, groundball specialist!

He's like Hargrove's Julio Mateo!

Pretty sure Julio Mateo was Hargrove's Julio Mateo.

Aw shucks foiled again

Typical,

and my hopes were almost up, just a tiny bit.

Interesting that all the people that spell "Shawn" wrong do poorly.

Chone?

Yes

We've got a Shawn, a Sean, and a Chone

It’s easy to get confused

craig3410 - May 18, 2010 reply

One of those is spelled correctly.

Don Wakamatsu is a fucking retard

This is really tarnishing Tuesdays With Sean White

Shut the hell up Rizzs you're a goddamn wall of noise

White is so boring to watch

Rock

I don't think Wak is reading the reports from Tony Blengino's office.

I swear to god he only gets first names and he's got the two of them backwards

There are no other reasonable explanations!

I bet we get out of this allowing zero more runs

I bet you're wrong

How much you wanna bet?

One testicle

Two

No bet

Deal.

Don't necessarily have to be yours...

Well this was stupid of you.

Had you taken the bet you’d have been given one free testicle. Now you have nothing.

Yeah I was too greedy

Somewhere Bob Barker is smiling

Ryan Franklin would be better!

Maybe Rob Johnson should catch all balls iwth his bare hands

With...

Or with his own balls

The runs Sean White gives up are never his own

Though he is quite good at giving up other people's runs.

Tyler Clippard!

cmon mariners

just win damnit

longwinded - May 18, 2010 reply

Please capitalize.

Though the Mariners don’t deserve capital letters, we still try to do that here.

Too long - didn't read.

That dude with the whistle needs to die

That curveball was right down the middle. Fuck you White, we are lucky

14-24

Timing disrupts hitting as well as changing location

Not every ball down the middle gets hit because of this

Sean White needs to get hit by a car

Along with Sweeney, Griffey, Jo Wilson, Rob Johnson

Wow that’s like half the team

I think we're going to need a bus.

A short bus.

Where's Kenji when you need him

Where's Osama? We need a plane

Only one out

Yay

How does Sean White not have a loss yet this season?

marinersmg - May 18, 2010 reply

Blown saves are not losses!

Jack Cust Ks?

Just need a patented White GB now!

Ask and ye shall receive.

rickpo - May 18, 2010 reply

Where were those non-fastballs before?

Crystal for DH - May 18, 2010 reply

Grounder

Good job Mr. Future Fuck.

Game.

Thanks Wak.

Dag fucking gum it

z

This seems eerily familiar...

They're all starting to blur together for me.

It's always a good thing to throw an 83 mph changeup, have the guy foul it off, and then throw another one right down the middle

Dumb piece of shit.

Rob Johnson works well with this pitching staff.

Calls a great game.

Heydude - May 18, 2010 reply

This doesn't mean anything

This isn't the 8th inning, so we're going up 6-5 when we next bat before blowing it.

sure

longwinded - May 18, 2010 reply

I'm feeling the M's tying it up in the 9th before giving up a walk-off blast

But that’s a quality option as well

Somebody needs to rub Sean White out mafia style.

Vargas should be up to that challenge.

Well it's about time to pack it in and hit the old dusty trail...

I also want to point out that Carlos Silva now has 5 wins

"Sean White doesn't want to give up any more runs here."

Yep, he’s given up his quota for the night, just enough to lose!

Do pitchers ever want to give up runs anyway?

I disagree.

I bet he wants to give up more.

I will bet you one testicle otherwise

I don't feel that strongly about it.

Hit it out, Rosales

I’m up for anything that makes Wak look even more idiotic, if possible.

God dammit

Groundball!??!?!

Kouzmanoff was out!

So does Sean White get the Bobby Ayala Memorial "He must have incriminating photos to be used so much" Award?

Rob Johnson.

Ken Griffey Junior, Mike Sweeney

Wak must be a real sick, deviant fuck to have that many pictures floating around out there.

What did he do to that salmon after he caught it?

Oh he gutted it alright.

AREIOG;ALRG;A;JG;AEKJG;KLJA;RLGN;AEJGF;ALGJ;AEJJE;ILFJA;JK

MORE ANGER!

THYIS FUCKING TEEAM FUCKKING PISSES ME OFF

I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS FUCKING SHIT IT’S SO FUCKING STUPID BURN GRIFFEY SERIOUSLY JUST BURN HIM HELL BURN SAFECO FIELD DOWN THIS FUCKING TEAM AND THIS FUCKING CITY NEEDS TO STOP CLINGING TO FUCKING MEMORIES IF I HAD CONTROL OF ANYTHING I’D DELETE 1995 AND 2001 AND GRIFFEY AND EDGAR FROM EVER FUCKING EXISTING BECASUE WE GTET TOO FUCKING CAUGHT UP IN HISTORY AND CANT’RECOGNIZE THAT STUFF SUCKS

Much better

I don't get why Wak didn't just start out the inning with Sean White if he likes him that much.

I'm sure this stat exists somewhere, but I have no idea where to look

can someone show me where I can see inherited baserunners scoring? It seems like White always comes in with other pitchers men on base, lets them all score then gets out of the inning to further inflate his shiny ERA

BaronVonBullshit - May 18, 2010 reply

He's at 5 of 12

Thanks! I'm fairly new to sabremetrics and advanced stats

Is there actually a stat I can look at that translates that into something like ERA? I know there’s a ton of numbers on fangraphs I still don’t know exactly what they are

BaronVonBullshit - May 18, 2010 reply

I found that on ESPN

I pretty much never pay it attention. Not sure how to work with it.

Out indeed; nice play Jose

kentroyals5 - May 18, 2010 reply

White power!

Time to kill Whitey.

At least Ayala was mostly unlucky

Cue sad trombone

.

Here.

This team has all the luck in the world.

Alrighty. Forget Joshie.

Bring back Jack!

We don't play Josh over Jack by choice

I know.

Hope he is getting healthy.

DING DONG THE BEAN IS GONE!!!

Josh Wilson

STOP HOTDOGGING!!!!

ambrosia2112 - May 18, 2010 reply

We should bench him like so he'll go off on the team like Hanley Rameriz.

Goose - May 18, 2010 reply

Ground balls that result in no outs recorded.

Hey now!

Sean White is what we thought he was!!

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

This is incredible.

Rajai Davis's shit-eating smile really irritates me

Even Gameday knows Sean White sucks

Not one of his pitches has had a “nasty factor” of over 45. Not that that means anything… just kinda funny

Kouzmanoff was out at third base. Dove into Lopez's foot.

I have lost all hope...

Buying season tickets was such a mistake

This team was born under a bad sign.

Oh, NOW you use Shawn Kelley

Fuck you Wak. FUCK YOU!

Fuck it

Kool Aid time.

Great.

Poor Shawn Kelley. He gets to come in at the worst possible time, and if he does something wrong, Wak won’t use him again for a week. White, on the other hand, is exempt from such consequences.

I have no doubt that Wak's mind operates in this manner

Negative work environment.

Wak is a little bitch. And he can't manage.

=X

I can't wait to boo some of these guys on Saturday

Boo Wak.

You shoud blog about it.

Ahahahahahahahahahaha

Are you taking notes SEAN WHITE!?

Are you!? God dammit!

How does he not see that Shawn Kelley is clearly better.

Shawn Kelley is a good reliever whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

If he's so good, why doesn't he pitch more, huh?

Huh!?

S’what I thought. >:(

Now watch him get sent away when Lowe returns.

yakvalleycardinal - May 18, 2010 reply

DO THAT MORE YOU CUNT

Wow look at that. KELLEY DOES HIS FUCKING JOB!!!!

That was a jolly old cock parade of an inning

This has been a jolly old cock parade of a season.

But I’m in it for the long haul!

SHAWN KELLEY IS A BITCHIN' MOTHERFUCKING GOD!!!!!!

Yay!

Maybe Wak will remember this next time he wants to use Colome or White

ambrosia2112 - May 18, 2010 reply

Screw you Wak, seriously screw you

I'm concerned that Wak thinks Sean White is something he's not.

What would give you that idea?

His need to call upon him to get the team out of a jam.

It's an interesting hypothesis.

Sean White, isn't the jam specialist? What?

He's always calling for Sean instead of Shawn.

Wak needs to go fuck himself. Seriously. Bad managing may end up costing us yet another game

We get it. You don't like Wak.

We got this the first time you said it.

Sorry, just really frustrated that we keep blowing games that we should win

Yeah, got that too.

This is just a word of advice – You don’t need to let your thoughts be known quite so much. I comment too much as well, but really, if it’s already been said by 10 other people, you don’t need to say it yourself, let alone twice.

Tonight's apperance...

Leaning significantly more towards “White Flag” than to “White Power”

Well yeah.

White Power is Fister’s gig.

Jesus Colome and Sean White are not terible relievers.

they just shouldn’t be used in high leverage situations, situations where strikeouts are very valuable and contact is not. There are, in fact, situations where I would prefer Sean White to Shawn Kelley, just not when the game is on the line.

When are we not going to be in high leverage situations?

Fair point.

When exactly would you prefer White to Kelley?

Mop-up?

yakvalleycardinal - May 18, 2010 reply

I would hope when the Mariners have no chance of coming from behind to win and he's mopping up.

Basically yes.

They aren’t valuable but that doesn’t mean they are completely useless.

Kelley is a fly-ball guy.

So basically you hope White gets the DP in a situation.

I personally wouldn't trust him to in that situation.

That might have been Wak’s thinking though.

Relievers who can't be used in high leverage situations are terrible relievers.

I'm not excusing the use of Sean White here by any means or even that I like him.

I’m saying in a situation where we are either down by a lot or up by a lot, I’d prefer we use his arm to keep our better relievers fresh.

Yeah, but in that case you're still picking him because he's terrible.

I suppose so, yes.

They're replacement level

That makes them pretty bad, but not terrible, yeah.

Sean White is legit terrible son

But he does have a good ERA

Jesus Colome and Sean White are terrible relievers

Mike Sweeney should be pinch-hitting here.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010 Seattle Mariners!

Wow.

TIME FOR THE DAWG TO LEAD THE YARD

The Coliseum is mobile?

Awesome.

In a "Fuck you, Griffey", chant?

I was afraid I'd get white-shanked if I booed him

Remember when Griffey hit a HR off of Lirino

Opening day HR!

Best Griffey Challenge ever.

My memory's not that good, sorry

Griffey goes the other way!

Legitimate hit!

What

Hahaha Griffey got a hit

Griffey gets a hit? Unpossible!

Not to be an apologist, but he does seem to be getting much better connections recently.

Obviously nothing good is coming from them, but he's been hitting the ball with at least Chone Figgins circa 2009 authority.

Better is a relative term.

He's hitting the ball like he knows how to hit, but without the Griffey power that makes it effective.

I swear I thought his sac fly in Baltimore was gone off the bat.

No power left. =(

I'm pretty sure Edgar KNOWS how to hit.

It’s the ability to do it that probably isn’t there so much.

But yes, he looks better. But again, relative term. He’s still pretty terrible if he’s Jose Vidro instead of Ray Oyler.

Opposite field single?

Does not compute

Let's give him credit for not being able to get around on a fastball and blooping one.

Langerhans!

Designated runner!

It's funny to me

that Langerhans is the better hitter, yet he pinch-runs for Griffey instead of pinch-hitting in the first place.

Cablinasian - May 18, 2010 reply

He has an injured shoulder.

Hahahaha

Griffey got a hit! I have a good feeling about this inning

Wait until we get to the bottom of the 8th

We worry about that later

We might lose the DH today!

How?

Aw bummer.

We have a DH? I thought we were playing Griffey.

Can we lose him in an Oakland alley somewhere?

KOTCH BLAST right now

Well that's earned him another month

There's another bobblehead day on June 19 i think.

You could have just picked a date at random and you'd probably have been right.

Not even in wildest dreams did I imagine Griffey going this long without a dong.

Kotch!

Oh shit Rhodes is coming back to town?

Hey maybe that bad luck argument wasn't so crazy after all!

Basehits!!

WOOOO!

SQUEEEEEEEZE

Effective baserunning!

Hey, good baserunning!

Nice rockburner Casey!

Offense?

What is this?

seiferguy - May 18, 2010 reply

Faceeeeeeeeeeeee

Holy shit....

We could tie it again only to lose it later

wadswerth - May 18, 2010 reply

TWO hits?

How is this possible? There’s an actual rally?

Time to bring out the fries...oh wait

SHIT!!!

And here comes Rob Johnson.

DP THREAT!

C'mon productive out!

Routine, deep fly ball....please?

Double Play?

Josh Wilson double play. Inning over

Probably.

So, this is still the Mariner's game right? They didn't switch over to another feed?

Well, we're losing.

So yes.

This is going to be awesome

HR calling it

SWEENDAWG

Oh, Mike Sweeney. This should be interesting.

Oh boy, Sweeney time.

TUI AT SHORT!

Well we hope its not going to be Sweeney

aussie_chop - May 18, 2010 reply

Coaching 11 year olds....

There are certain situations where you send the runner on first into a suicidal stolen base attempt, have him get into a pickle, and the runner on 3rd scores like 90% of the time. Let’s try it Wak, it couldn’t be worse than our previous attempts!

O GOD NO

Sweeney pinch-hitting?

SWEENDAWG!

Tui time!

Tie game!

ONE PITCH

It was probably more likely that he GIDP there.

I hate you

Yeah, Sweendawg!

That works!

SWEENDAWG!

4-6-3!

YEAH SWEENDAWG GETS IT DEEP ENOUGH FOR THE SAC FLY!

Sweeney is clearly a stud.

SWEEEEEEEENDAWG?????????????????????

Game Management!

OH GOD DAMMIT TUI AT SHORT FUCK YOU WAK

Doesn't want to make it easy, does he

yakvalleycardinal - May 18, 2010 reply

The point's to win the game, not to lose with good defense

Sweeney > Wilson as a hitter. This was the correct move.

Sweeney gets another month in the lineup for that one.

Here comes dinger #4

THAT WAS NOT GOOD DAVE SIMS STOP PRAISING IT

Aggressive, yet effective

Wak's made a lot of moves.

I hate this game.

Don't forget

We get to see Tui at short next inning!

seiferguy - May 18, 2010 reply

GOD OUR DHS ARE SO CLUTCH

Atta boy Sweendogg!

A Johnson bomb would be hysterical

because we’ll find a way to still lose

Well this is going to set up some fun infield defense

On the other hand, the inexplicable return of Zombie Sweeney continues!

I wish we could PH a lefty

I wish we had a bench.

Or PH a HITTER!

RJ, PC.

This would make a good sign

People called Sweeney are 5-for-5 today.

Thats just not true

Sweeney got an out.

themanleyman - May 18, 2010 reply

It doesn't count as an AB when it's a Sac Fly.

Who's the other Sweeney?

Ryan

Ryan

And I fucked up so it’s probably best to ignore it anyway.

Oh, that's why I asked. I knew Ryan was 4-4, so I assumed you were talking about a Sweeney in another game.

Mike Sweeney like Larry the Cable Guy

So does Griffey

Which is not surprising because Griffey is not black except for maybe his ass

Griffey looks like Don Baylor.

Mike Sweeney mixes his ketchup with mayo.

Mike Sweeney beat up Jeff Weaver

Mike Sweeney drives a minivan

Well that's nothing but delicious in the proper context

I'm not surprised

Tui at SS! Yay!

Here comes the 8th, bye bye ballgame.

Rob Johnson slammed down his bat.

Quick, everybody make a big deal out of Rob Johnson’s emotional issues.

No need. He's Rob Johnson.

When Rob does it, it just means he's a gamer and has fire in his belly!

It's clearly Bradley's fault

He knows he sucks!

What a fucking ridiculous baseball game.

EXTRAS SO WE CAN LOSE AGAIN IN THE OPPONENT'S FINAL AT BAT!

NOT THAT WE REALLY NEED EXTRAS FOR THAT.

IT’S TIED IN THE 8TH A LOSS IS NOW A GUARANTEED LOSS-IN-OPPONENTS-FINAL-AT-BAT

THERE's MORE TO COME!

Josh Wilson isn't good, Tui isn't good. You are suppose to pinch hit for Wilson in that situation.

I want Sweendogg to stay in at short

I second this

Rob Johnson is trying his best to make up for his home run.

This is like watching two junkies fight over a piece of toast.

waldo rojas - May 18, 2010 reply

Awesome?

No, not in a good way.

waldo rojas - May 18, 2010 reply

Bumfight!

Toast doesn't buy beer!

I wish it was that entertaining.

This is setting itself up for a Jesus Colome walk off

I wonder if we'll ever have an easy 8th inning

It'd sure be nice to win one of these games, wouldn't it?

You'd think so.

What's up with Kelly's velocity?

Gameday’s showing him at around 90-91 on his fastball. Didn’t he used to throw 93-96?

He's just rusty on account of WAK NEVER FUCKING USES HIM

Good point.

It's hard to picture a GIDP here.

Well he didn't ground into it

But I’ll still take that

Thank heavens Daric Barton sucks

Saw this legendary Sweeney moment yesterday....

Sweendawg starting the 7th greatest fight in baseball history! Especially cool because the pitcher on the mound was Jeff “Dream” Weaver

He threw his helmet? What a bitch

I vaguely remember this on sports center.

Haha I love this.

I was at the game with sexton rushed the pitcher. It was awesome, I’ve never seen a fight in baseball in person before, but I’ve seen jr high kids have better fights than that.

LeftArrow2 - May 18, 2010 reply

Sexson.

Sexson.

CONDOR

I FUCKING LOVE YOU

SAUNDERS SEX!!!!

Kawnliee - May 18, 2010 reply

Saunders should play left field more often.

Fuckin magnets

waldo rojas - May 18, 2010 reply

How do they work?

I don't know ask guti or ichi.

LeftArrow2 - May 18, 2010 reply

SAUNDERS!!!

Canadia bitches!!!!!!!!!1

FUCK YES!!!!!

THE CONDOR STRIKES!!!

WHA@??!

CONDOR!!!

CONDOR'D!

OH MY GOD

SAUNDERS IS THE NEW MAN!!!!

Wow!

There we go Michael!

CONDOR

HOLY FUCKING SHIT MICHAEL SAUNDERS

ALSO WHY DID KOTCHMAN TAG HIM

Delightful!

MICHAEL SAUNDERS WILL RAVAGE YOUR WOMEN AND EDUCATE YOUR MONGREL CHILDREN

Woooooooooooooo Saunders

wadswerth - May 18, 2010 reply

That was......good?

There is a question if it was good?

Unless you are watching on GameDay, then yes, it was amazing.

It's a different feeling from hilariously and embarrassingly awful

That kid might have a future in this game

Holy crap

Yeah…Bradley better not be returning to left field when he comes back.

short - May 18, 2010 reply

Yeah, he will be.

But that will help us lose more

Surely the team won’t make such an illogical move.

short - May 18, 2010 reply

Yet another reason to hate Ken Griffey Jr.

Maybe Sean White gets optioned!

Way too logical.

It would sure be nice though.

FIGGY!

THAT INNING WAS AWESOME

WOWIE ZOWIE!

SAUNDERS YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD

FIGLET

FUCK YES MARINERS BASEBALL

FIGGINS, YOU ARE ALSO THE MAN.

Now that's baseball!

That it is!

Go baseball!

Well great, now it's going to piss me off if we lose.

DEFENSE IS SEXY!!

Defense? DEFENSE!

Can we go back in time?

Kidnap Sasaki and bring him to 2010?

Make sure you get the 2001 Sasaki, and not the later edition.

THE FLOOR IS GONNA FUCKING HURT

Well then its good that there isn't one then.

Hell yeah, we just pitched a scoreless eighth!

Hey, an inning where things went right for the Mariners

Can we have one more, please?

If we win this game I'm drinking a rootbeer float.

If we win I'm going to masturbate.

Too soon?

LLLJ

while drinking a rootbeer float?

Same thing.

Win or lose I'm going to masturbate

I'm making a rootbeer float anyway

SOMEBODY ATE MY FUCKING ICE CREAM AND NOW I DON'T GET ONE.

Wait that's not what's supposed to happen

My prediction

Ichiro homerun. You heard it here first.

Did saunders make a double saving catch?

While getting a double play?

He sure did!

The next person to predict something should die in a fire.

My victory prediction is still holding strong

I predict I will die in a fire

I heard that's not good for you.

I predict Ichiro gets nailed by the ball

And fights the pitcher.

Still more likely. than Griffey hitting a home run

LeftArrow2 - May 18, 2010 reply

I predict people will not heed your warning

I predict that I will throw a bouncy ball at your face.

3

2

1...

BOING

Rootbeer float!

Ouch.

MATURBATION!

Indeed it was!

I want a Saunders walkoff so it will be impossible to option him

I want a Saunders homer because I love him.

Walks work too.

Oui.

God I'm gonna move to Canada

Come over, we have maple syrup

CONDORWALK!

Or should I say fly?

That'll do.

KOTCHMAN!!

Future Jeff makes an appearance.

Or does he?

How far are you in the future again?

GREAT leadoff at bat for him.

When is Wak gonna move him up, eh?

Saunders is so awesome

He drew a walk from Andrew Bailey

Scoring runs does make losing more entertaining.

Yes.

Inside and in the dirt for the K.

Thanks Debbie.

HA

Prediction!

You were wrong.

Fire. Die.

I'm ok with that.

You were the opposite of right.

You were left.

I'm ok with being wrong.

Your music is terrible.

It hasn't aged well, that's for sure.

Make it a 3-walk day, Ich.

MAKE HIM PAY!

I forsee a go-ahead, slump-busting double for one Chone Figgins in the future...

That already happened.

Damn it all.

Aw shoot

At least we get a faster runner on base?

Saunders isn't slow.

Ichiro is faster though

But Ichiro is faster...

marinersmg - May 18, 2010 reply

Maybe so, but Saunders isn't slow.

And if it comes down to a play at the plate, I’d rather have Condor running over the catcher.

Come on Figgy!

Let’s do this!

Thanks.

I really needed to see Reynolds adjust himself.

DO SOMETHING FIGGER

GOD

NOT YOUR FAULT BUT GOD

Let's Winnie the Game

Another line drive

Yeah, whats with Figgin's batted ball numbers?

His 2010 BABIP is a whopping 80 points below his career number. Also, his linedrive percentage is all messed up. It’s down 7% from his career mark, while his flyball percentage is up 6%.

His shit's all retarded

It says here he's fucked up

Right at the fielder, as per.

Fucking caught line drives!!!

Hit and run, yay!

Even on Figgins Day his line drive finds a glove

All line drives for Figgins today.

Be the start of something.

He can't seem to catch a friggin' break.

I mean at all.

2010 mariners writ small.

We found our Hitting Dave Duncan!

It was Jack Cust the whole time.

Whooooooooooooooooooooop

Wooooooooooooooooooooooo

I forgot Guti was still on this team.

Retard.

Fuck

Walk-off time.

Everyone ready for walk-off?

I say I am

but I’m not.

Cust walk-off in 3,2,1...

Crystal for DH - May 18, 2010 reply

Is Angie moonlighting as a Dance Hall Hostess?

That would be awesome.

Let's have another subthread on Angie!

I want the A's to win

I don’t have the patience for extras

It has already been eleven hours

heh, set up for another walk-off loss

OceanBird - May 18, 2010 reply

All right everybody, THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!!

Griffey injury!

Not THAT positive

marinersmg - May 18, 2010 reply

Magic Johnson has AIDS

.Taylor - May 18, 2010 reply

Excuse me what?

He's HIV Positive

Rob Johnson has AIDS!

So Rob Johnson is Magic?

No

But for a few innings it sure looked that way

Everybody got AIDS and shit

AIDS AIDS AIDS!

Sweeney sex tape!

Anthony Rendon!

By the way, I just learned that Dave Cameron was elected prime minister of Great Britain.

Funny, he doesn’t have a British accent.

He talks pretty fast.

I heard he had to form a coalition government with Jason Churchill

Every time I've seen Angie Mentink tonight I've heard Donna Summer's "Bad Girls" in my head.

Shrug - May 18, 2010 reply

According to Wikipedia

She only has two kids (both sons). Doesn’t it seem like she’s been pregnant for about 10-15 years?

Do I really have to watch this game go into extra innings?

No.

You do.

EXTRAS!

KKelley!

Shawn Kelley is a boss

All pitches up in the zone. Walk-off time?

H-hey!

That’s what happens when good relievers pitch the ninth. And face Kevin Kouzmanoff.

Strike

Oh hey Sean White appears to be doing well. At least according to Niehaus

Kelley! Now I get it

Make sure he tells Wak.

Bless his heart.

I still miss Sean Green.

I think the problem is too many Sean/Shawn (s) and too many colors.

Wak just can’t figure out who is who.

I we lose tonight we're 7.5 games back

That’s pretty much fucked.

Sure feels like it huh

Sigh

Eww Gross

A Brandon League sighting!

Fuck Gabe Gross' family

League is going to blow this on a bloop triple or something on a pitch off the plate and everyone will blame him

I can't remember Wak making this many moves.

Or you could leave Kelley in

No? Alright then.

Just be thankful it's not Colome

Yay mid inning pitching change!

It's Leaguie Weegie!

Sigh, watching the Mariners in 2010

Misses the 2001 Mariners. If we had Sasaki, we would have won a handful of games we shouldn’t have lost.

*Makes me miss

Yay Nostalgia!

That’ll help!

Oh god. Oh god oh god.

ohgodohgodohgod

HE'S ON THE GROUND!

HE MADE A GRUNT

Okay now I just feel bad.

PITY IS FOR THE WEAK

I'm quite empathetic.

He got it right in the seeds.

Wak is prolonging our misery by making as many pitching changes as possible.

THAT HIT ROB JOHNSON IN THE BALLS

Rob Johnson has balls?

Johnson's hurt!

Wooooo!!!!

But if Bard comes in we are without any more bench players, if I'm not mistaken

And only two relievers left too

Felix can PH.

RRS can catch

Cool, maybe then they'll ralise that they can't have both Griffey and Sweeney on the roster.

Ichiro pitching!

If there was a night for it…

Ok that definitely would have made it worth it

Vargas can play anywhere

High-fives all around!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IN THE BALLS

That's right, TAKE IT ROB

Ouch?

Oh no

Where is the robots panicking .gif?

Right behind this one

OUCH!

Just listening to the radio. That looked not good.

Damn it, thats kenji

I was going to say fastest gif ever

Poor Kenji.

So does anyone expect to win this?

Hah!

No. Seriously? No.

Yep I'm in the same place.

Shiiiiiiiiiiit.

Wow did you hear the noise he made.

YES! YES! YES!

Fuck I wouldn't wish that on anyone, even Rob Johnson

Me neither.

You aren't jaded enough

I hate his goddamn fucking guts, but ouch dude that sucks.

GOD CAN THE BASEBALL GODS PLEASE NOT FUCK US IN THE ASS JUST THIS ONCE

You're aware that's Rob Johnson, right?

No, I'm using Gameday so I just go off other people's reactions in this thread

Right in the kibbles and bits?

I actually feel sorry for Robo Rob on that one...

Did Sims just call that the Worst?

He did.

Where did he get hit?

Balls

Well I don't like Rob at all but that sucks.

Looks pretty hurt.

Matt Tuiasosopo is our emergency catcher.

And our emergency shortstop

This game could get interesting!

And is playing SS.

At least Bard is still on the bench.

SOMEBODY GIF IT PLEASE

You know how we feel about this

We feel bad!

How about if someone asked nicely?

Please?

Here you go

YES

FINALLY

If I had lost the bet last year, I was going to let Jeff cockpunch me then post this when somebody asked for a gif.

This is also perfectly reflects my life as a Seahawk fan.

And

From one of my favorites.

YES, JOHNSON WILL NOT UNLEASH HIS SEED ONTO THIS EARTH

Maybe that will teach him to fucking catch the ball.

I hope his seed had been wiped from the earth

He's going to keep playing, isn't he.

Gotta earn that starting gig somehow

No man should get drilled in the stones by a baseball.

Sorry, buddy.

Kenji'd already be up and ready for the next pitch.

Rick Griffin is in for one of the worst massages ever tonight.

That’s why they pay him the big bucks.

I think that bald guy who looks like a skinny Zduriencik is their physical therapist.

ScottBrowne - May 18, 2010 reply

Wak will do it for Rob, surely?

I think something along these lines has happened in the past.

Is their any other reason for his presence on the team?

Who the hell is that?

Do they have a special trainer for nutshots?

HAI GUYZZZZ!!!

NUT TRAINER IS HEREEEEE!

This game has everything.

He claims he's a trainer at least

Watching Rob suffer just increases my admiration of Beltre.

At least he can't procreate now

I wish there was a way to do the high pitched castrato voice thing through text

♫ Laaaaaa............

Done.

The umpire should tell them to hurry up.

Does that count as a passed ball?

Dammit why can't Rob Johnson die

I

BRKLN M'S - May 18, 2010 reply

I'm missing the best moment of 2010 right now.

What? Did he just stay in?

God damn it. Stupid.

Matt Tuiasosopo's got some butt

What does Wak say to Rob the whole time after a nutshot?

The opposite of what was said to A.J. Pierzynski.

Goddamnit

I wanted Bard to get in there and get the GWRBI

Oakland takes advantage, hard nose

Ballsy move

Don't give up a hit

OUT

LAME

Missed the tag

Didn't look like it.

Got him right in the square o the back.

You knew the As were gonna run.

WHAT?!?!!?

I like League even more now.

Hit the batter in the back for that shit.

Running on a guy who just busted his ball. Smart but still….

And I felt guilty for being glad Rob Johnson was injured

Bob Geren’s heart is made of ice

Running on a castrate is mean.

Running on a castrate is mean.

Wow did they just steal a base after the catcher got hit in the balls?

Those Oakland bastards!

I'd steal 3rd too

BRKLN M'S - May 18, 2010 reply

Theres no crying in baseball Rob, throw the goddamn ball.

Get out of this! For testicles' sake

Beltre would never let him live it down.

Didn't they report Beltre's swelled up?

Where's Eyebrows. "The size of a grapefuit"

NO NO NO

Crystal for DH - May 18, 2010 reply

You are bringing back all the pain of that article.

Rob is the "new" Beltre

Beltre was awesome before taking the nut shot.

And he still is. Rob not so much.

I couldn't agree more - I meant no disrespect to Beltre.

SEXTRAS

Sextras!

Yay, more baseball.

Hey look League is good!

So um...

Langerhans?

Do you guys think a cup can actually take a 90 mph fastball

Its not that strong of plastic

How about a Langerhans bomb?

kennerdoloman - May 18, 2010 reply

END!

I wonder if there's a twist ending to this game

Rob Johnson got hit in the balls. Thats a good omen right?

I hope that's the new good luck charm and they have to do it every game

I blame the bullpen face for our struggles.

Was it decided what to call it?

Barnie W. Nullsperm.

Anagram of Bullpen Warriors.

Gameday's gone nuts.

It’s 1-0 on Lopez and Unknown has just stolen 2nd!

And Rosales struck out

Unknown (0)!

Oh, Lopez just struck out

Uh

Pitch 6 Ball
Pitch 5 In play, outs

Sympathy ball?

He was out on that throw.

No matter though, now the question is whether I should actually stay up to watch us lose….

WestCoastBias. - May 18, 2010 reply

That shot of an empty stadium made me feel sorry for baseball.

I can confirm that League also polls well in the Robert and Kirk household.

According to Gameday, an unknown player just stole 2nd for us.

Tides turning in our favor?

Streaker.

Nah, it was only his 0 stolen base on the season.

Gameday says "With Jose Lopez batting, Unknown (0) steals 2B

About to point that out.

Curse you

and that other guy

I want to be in a metal band with Brandon League.

I do too.

Please no.

Oh hell yes.

Gameday:

“With Jose Lopez batting, Unknown (0), steals 2nd base.”

Sign this Unknown guy for five years!

Bit late to the party.

We've got a ghostrunner!

I have no doubt Figlet will Winnie this Foo in the 11th.

Watch and learn.

Figlet, you say?

Unbelievable.

Jesus. Damn you Kouz!

Fuck our luck!

Jesus Christ.

Jesus our luck is bad.

Pitch 5: In play, out(s)

pitch 6: ball

Loafie's suck knows no bounds

Take longer strides you cartoon

Unluckiest team in baseball?

In sports?

In the history of baseball

Now Lopez has drawn ball four after getting out somehow.

Oh boy, someone else that's going to be day-to-day.

shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup

shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup

(hugs!)

What he said.

Fortunately Lopez's talent has been day to day since 2004.

Kind of like his siblings

ZING!

COME ON DINGERHANS!

So if Lopez tears his ACL that play, what do we do?

Is there any way we can move people around for a reasonable defensive lineup?

Hannahan and Tui platoon at 3b?

I mean more so right now, at this moment.

Kotchman to 3b?

Kotchman to 3B, Langerhans pulled from DH and placed at 1B perhaps.

Vargas to 3B!

Hanahan

Move Figgy to third,

and bring up Ackley!

el pato - May 18, 2010 reply

Banahans!

I'd just put Bard at 3rd

Ryan Walkoff!

Ryan Sweeney?

Yeah let's see some Matt Mangini

Rob Johnson said...

eeeaaagggghhhhh!

Tap Rat - May 18, 2010 reply

Did we win yet?

Yep

Rob's OK - we're all winners.

Moral victory!

First game of the season.

Rob Johnson got hit in the nuts

So yes

I think the DH should automatically be eliminated in extra innings

It would speed things up considerably

and make things more fun

Apparently you've missed our DH position all season.

Not if Tony LaRussa is managing

Especially if LaRussa is managing

18 INNINGS

LaRussa extra inning games are some of the most entertaining games in baseball

Because of all the crazy shit that goes down

It would lower run expectancy and seemingly slow things down

Increase the likelihood of burning the bench and relief corps thereby increasing the likelihood of a position player pitching

Making a run more likely to score- although that doesn’t happen until deep into extras

We've already done this for ALL innings where Griffey is batting.

I think our DH should be eliminated

But we're not the home team.

We can still eliminate our own DH

THE HOME TEAM MAKES THE RULES

GOD YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING

We're not the home team, but we can still make dead memes.

I was thinking more like putting someone in the upper deck with an M24

Everybody practice your dinger swings

They probably win it here

I might just go ahead an masturbate.

Closest thing any of us will get to a win.

(o)(o)

Two big, fat

boobies.

Who's left in the bullpen? Aardsma or Colome...hmmmm.

Im trying to find a way to release my anger after we give up this walk off without breaking anything.

Any suggestions?

You should call Slow Country.

Lend each other a hand.

Never leave us

<3

Strip naked, and then run through the street screaming like a banshee.

Thats called streaking and is usually reserved for celebration.

I was thinking more like making a Tui vodoo doll.

mister fister?

great nickname….

WestCoastBias. - May 18, 2010 reply

Totally hasn't been mentioned before.

I'm sorry i haven't spent the whole game on here, or heard it before.

WestCoastBias. - May 18, 2010 reply

I like Twisted Fister.

Did you guys know that baseball reference has WAR now

Its Rally's WAR

Hell yeah, it makes those posts I was working on way easier

Link to Bref WAR intro

here

TUI? TUI!!!

Nice catch Tui!

In case you were wondering this game was the 2nd longest nine inning game of all time.

That didn't involve Boston or the Yankees

3 hours? Theres no way...

Red Sox Yankees games are all at least four hours

Thats my point. This can't be even close.

Well this is something

Baseball is so interesting

In Mariners franchise history maybe

Otherwise I don’t believe you

It feels really long

I’ll grant that.

I hate when we play the A's

Worst game I ever went to in person was a game vs. the A’s in 2008 where Miguel Batista started. That was brutal

Morons

I love Brandon League's hair

You should join the metal band he and I are starting.

What's it called?

Mane Danger.

Nice

*

Mäne Dänger.

It was either that, or Steel Cock Sparkler.

Runner on base, time to switch pitchers.

Switch pitchers?

Have we signed Pat Venditte?

League just setting up the DP

League just throwing strikes and confusing the umpire with bendy things.

Donkey punch?

What a graceful fall

Rob catches better with broken nuts.

No, not so much

FUCKING GO FASTER

This has taken as long as two soccer games!

I hate baseball so much

Convert to a Timbers blog

I would big gay backhole every thread from a different IP address.

Or one game at Old Trafford

Assuming United aren't winning after 90.

So if we have to use Snell in relief who starts?

Vargas, RRS, Lee, Fister and Felix

but they pulled Hyphen from the rotation

We did

Fucking finally

Hyphen.

AUGH

Ugh Guti

Step 1

Too close

Well that takes away the low sinker

Bahahahaha

Fitting as hell.

Boing!

Big surprise there!

Dammit Rob

Oh dear lord, fuck Rob Johnson.

God

This will end well!

Ass

Get stuck in the nuts.

Rob Johnson.

So talented!

League better not blow another.

Fuckin rookies

Uh ok? His pitches are all over the place.

Yeah he needs some more experiences

Well since I know you know League isn't a rookie.

Quit being a douche? Cause League did throw that meatball to Suzuki to end it.

I don't recommend this line of action.

That was a ground ball (best possible result other than a K) and we didn't have a real shortstop on the field.

Also, shut up.

People might be nicer to you if you didn't overreact to everything

and act like a petulant child when you’re called out for doing that.

How is being angry that we are 14-25 overreacting?

It's your tone.

It’s quite grating and rubs people the wrong way.

I will quit being a douche if you quit posting until you figure out how to not be terrible

Plwase don't quit being a "douche." We love you.

*Please

Also this is where I point out that I know that you weren't the one pushing the "why is a rookie pitching" thing

and then point out that it doesn’t matter because you are all the same poster to me.

Yeah you can go away

.

-———- Forwarded message -———-
From: <Maclaujf@comcast.net>
Date: Tue, May 18, 2010 at 10:58 PM
Subject: Fuck off.
To: XXX

Subject.

AND HERE COME THE PRETZELS

And by Pretzels I mean junk mail that makes your email account unusable.

He's gonna get a nasty email from kevin_ess@--------- and he's gonna be all like, "who the fuck is this??!!"

Awesome!

I plan on getting a free sample of Enzyte

Aaron Campeau - May 19, 2010 reply

See you four days from then.

Hate Rob

But that was a crappy ptich

short - May 18, 2010 reply

May as well walk Kouz to get to Gross

Wow

Suzuki to get to Kouz

AND A BIG FUCK YOU ROB JOHNSON

Just pitch.

Nothing bad ever happens when Kurt Suzuki is up.

Walk Suzuki too

What is up with the crazy church bells?

erinashley24 - May 18, 2010 reply

I like them!

I still honestly can't care about this game.

I have absolutely no faith we can win this.

When will scorekeepers realize that theses should be passed balls.

Especially when the catcher has a history of balls getting away.

At least they are using cool NFL films music

I HATE GAMES IN OAKLAND

So does Oakland, apparently

Holy shit that almost got by

They weren't all "wild pitches" - sometimes the catcher just can't.

The 2006 were terrible sandwhiched between two 90+ win seasons

The 2006 Indians were terrible sandwhiched between two 90+ win seasons

Are you trying to say theres a literal floor next year?

Oh shit it's Kurt Suzuki

Is League an American Indian?

Of course

:(

We did it!

HOORAY ITS OVER

How fitting.

Whatever.

Well that just felt inevitable.

Aw shucks.

Heh.

Defensive indifference?

Couldn't they have at least hit a fucking home run?

This is just not fun.

Heydude - May 18, 2010 reply

BUT IT IS!

Well that about does it

What? THIS NEVER HAPPENS! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

Another loss on the opponents final at bat. What's the record on this?

Oh Shit.

Yup

bkvarda - May 18, 2010 reply

Thanks, Rob.

Hope you feel the pain of your nutshot linger for months.

123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789

Hurry up, Padres!

Rob Johnson, Professional Catcher.

About fucking time

The Seattle Mariners will never win another game of baseball.

Not with Rob Johnson and Griffey they won't.

Anything good happen in the minors today?

Anything at all?

Uh let me see...

Nick Franklin drew his first walk of the month?

Erasmo Ramirez keeps getting groundballs?

Positives!

A walk?!?!?!?! Well shit I'm back to this!

I'd rather this happen then win once in a while

If we’re going to suck we may as well really really suck

We are going to be nearly as bad as th 1899 Cleveland Spiders and then choke at the last minute.

This would be painful if it weren't so fucked up

Wait, it is painful now.

I wish they were playing Zorba the Greek. It would make this easier to tolerate.

Fuck it.

Now everyone will think League sucks.

I hate the stupid fans.

HHow can you guys worry so much about Griffey not thitting when Brandon League is blowing a bajillion games?

He’s been an icon and HE SAVED BASEBALL in ’95 DID LEAGUE DO THAT?

Hell, I'm sort of beginning to doubt him myself.

Does that make me stupid?

He walked a guy, that guy tagged from 1st, and then there was a wild pitch, followed by a ground ball

A ground ball that was hit up the middle on a meatball pitch.

Oh thank god it wasn’t a liner up the middle.

A real shortstop makes that play though

You know what's a meatball?

A pitch with 12+ horizontal movement and 8" vertical break. Fucking meatball, man. That’s exactly what that pitch was.

Look where the pitch ended up?

These are major league hitters we are speaking about.

And there was so much break on it he got a groundball that would have been converted into an out had a real shortstop been playing.

You cannot guarantee that Jack Wilson would of been able to get a throw off to 1B and get the runner out.

I can guarantee that you would have found a way to say something annoying

You cannot guarantee that Kurt Suzuki hits that ball.

RESULTS BASED ANALYSIS!

Yeah but you can guarantee Tui doesn't

From what we've seen from Jack Wilson

I would pretty much expect him to make that play.

Josh Wilson probably comes up with that play.

I can almost guarantee that Jack Wilson or Josh Wilson would have reacted to that play much faster than Tui.

Wilson, Jack makes that play everyday.

Josh and Tue, not so much.

*Tui

Think there's a chance pitchers are losing confidence in Rob

And his ability to to stop a pitch in the dirt?

*

Then there was a “wild pitch”…

Correct that with a passed ball, because that is what it should have been

Mariners baseball!

Based on my reaction to that single I’m assuming that I no longer care

Yup

LOST SEASON!

It's feels better numb. I can sit back and not care.

Numbness is settling in nicely eh?

Mother fuck this shit.

PETE CARROLL SAVE US!

Bahahahaha. Matthew is still our QB.

Jack makes that play

Josh makes that play

Yuni makes that play

But he throws the ball away.

And somehow murders Franklin.

And the toddler in the stands gets beaned by Yuni wild throw.

And it turns out that kid was a genius that had just found a cure for cancer and kept it in his head.

And the child was Mother Teresa's grandchild, wait, no that doesn't work.

Then we find out Felix and Ichiro have cancer.

This has gone past long enough…….

It has, but your sig is dead on.

I'm ready to blame cancer on Rob if thats what you are implying.

Cancer, AIDs, rabies, 9/11, Flesh Eating Disease, ADHD, the bad

egg salad sandwich I had for lunch… all Rob Johnson

Thanks Rob you silly bastard

This has officailly become a lost season

FUCKKKKKKKKKK!

Angie seems wasted

Wow. What a season. No breaks whatsoever. In-fucking-credible.

Holy shit. I mean, WOW. What the fuck.

No rootbeer float...

:(

Have one anyways. It will make you feel better.

I liked the part where it looked like we might win

I’d also like to add, thank you to Rob Johnson for getting thrown out at third and, after all’s said and done, costing us the game.

Weeeeee

I felt sorry for you Rob, but no more. FUCK YOU.

I hope your balls swell up to the size of a watermelon.

I hope they turn black, shrivel up, and fall off.

Full Metal Panic!

CKel - May 18, 2010 reply

I'm trying really hard not to care, and it isn't working. I'm actually angry, still.

Yay?

I've recently reached the point where it makes me laugh instead of angry.

Rob Johnson getting thrown out at third was the turning point on this for me for the season.

Runner advances to 2nd on a flyout, to 3rd on the passed ball, scores!

Bet that's never happened before

There's a Mt. St. Helens special on NWCN right now!

Quick — it’s time for Operation Volcano Distraction 2!

Jeremariner - May 18, 2010 reply

THE 2011 DRAFT IS LOADED

Now I'm excited to see what Jack can get for Cliff Lee a few months from now!

I'm going to be in denial until it actually happens.

DENYDENYDENY

I'm going to every start he makes at Safeco.

I've been to all his starts.

He’s probably thisclose to filing a restraining order against me.

So have I and to Tacoma also, which I believe you went to as well.

We might be named co-defendants.

You guys should just totally molest him. Get him while you have a chance

Yep. I was there foaming at the mouth with excitement.

I love Cliff Lee too, but it's better to end it now before you get too attached and make the breakup more painful than it has to be.

And perhaps Aardsma

He’s not strictly needed with League, Kelley, and Lowe around. And if he has a decent first half, could return a decent prospect.

I've completely forgot about Aardsma.

Feels like he hasn’t pitched in weeks.

God, when was our last save situation?

Friday.

Boy am I glad I gave up on this season before it started.

So how long of a leash do you guys think Wak still has?

It seems to me he’d be very close to getting canned if he were on another team. But on the Mariners it’s hard to tell.

No where close to being canned at all.

Even on another team.

Normally I'd agree

But considering Z apparently puts stock in sabr and he sees how Wak is managing this, he might have a shorter leash than we think. Firing a hitting or pitching coach usually is the first step. Then if things continue, down goes the manager. Step 1has already been done.

Wak is Z's guy.

He’s not going to bail on him because of a lousy start when there are all sorts of injuries and unlucky games that you can point to as excuses. Plus, Z’s still got a lot of old school in him, putting some stock into sabermetrics doesn’t mean anything in this instance.

Pretty sure most teams don't fire the manager two months into year two.

Hell, Hillman lasted until year three.

Even if he made perfect in game strategic moves, like with the bullpen.

There’s still a crapton of under performing players at the plate. We’d still be hurting for wins with this offense. Also depends on how much of Griffey is his responsibility. This is a really big problem to get a handle on accurately.

But the lack of production from a couple of guys is killing us

So I hear the Seahawks had a good draft

pete carroll pete carroll pete carroll

USC! Seahawks! Combined!

U! S! C! HAWKS!

Matt Hasselbeck.

I KNOW :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :8========):) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Q/PM!!

I'm terrified that I'm starting to get excited for football season.

I'm not because it would be foolish to not excited for a SB caliber team.

Sure we're weak at DE, but so were the 2005 Seahawks!

If the Seahawks don't make the playoffs I will let you and only you cock punch me at the time and place of your choosing.

Holy Shit you better save this.

Way ahead of you.

If the Seahawks make the playoffs one bottle of HotD Matt is yours.

I already have one so I want to make my own terms.

If the Seahawks make the playoffs I want your wife

No.

To make me a nice big dish of tortellini alfredo with a six pack of Paulaner on the side.

I'll see what I can do.

I'm already enjoying this.

You realize there is a very good chance you get cock punched right?

No.

This isn't a bet. You already told me what I can do upon the Seahawks missing the playoffs.

All I’m doing is offering you a good bottle of beer. I can make it a bottle of 120 or the Abyss or something if you really like.

Please someone post a .gif of Rob Johnson getting hit in the nuts

Isn't it enough to know that it happened.

SAVING UP ALL OUR GOOD LUCK UP IN A JAR TO USE FOR NEXT YEAR

Bill Kreuger keys to the game

1) Rob Johnson get hit by a bus.
2) Rob Johnson spontaneously combust
3) Rob Johnson snort fire ants and die.

Additional keys to the game

4) Rob Johnson pour pixie stick powder down his pee hole
5) Rob Johnson get kidnapped by the Yakuza and get disemboweled
6) Rob Johnson get a staph infection in the A’s visitor’s clubhouse shower

I particularly enjoyed the snorting of the fire ants one.

Annnnd it's 2 O'clock in the morning.

Living on the east coast really blows.

At least Dave Cameron is threatening fury

I don't know how he keeps it up.

I just don’t have it in me to still be angry.

I know seriously.

I still have it in me, and it hurts.

Why isn't everyone talking about how hey, it's okay, because we've been unlucky and we still have really great pitching?

Sorry. I’m not trying to bitch and come across like a troll, but the Mariners have left me depressed and frustrated. I just don’t care right now, and I’m not looking forward to my trip to Safeco tomorrow.

You're coming across like a troll.

It's Katal.

My apologies.

I'm sorry Katal :(

It's all good.

Seriously, it reads as a troll-ish comment, and I hate coming off that way. But the Mariners really have me in a foul mood.

And I don't mean to, but I need to vent.

This team has been painful to watch for the past month.

Then don't go to Safeco tomorrow?

No one is making you. . .

You would be surprised!

Because Rob Johnson isn't unlucky. He really does suck.

And we scored 5 runs today. That should be enough. Felix was off his game (AGAIN!).

Cumulatively, we have been unlucky. This game was bad, though.

I want Rob Johnson tied to a fucking fence with a pitching machine 10 feet in front of him shooting baseballs into his nutsack as punishment for every time he can't catch a ball

I'd settle for his outright release.

Sure, let him off easy.

I did say it was settling.

The hard part is that those stories are always hopeful.

I mean, we’re not as bad as the record indicates, and I know this. But if I just ASSUMED that we were this bad, then each loss would become expected. Instead, I go in thinking “hey, we’ve got a good chance to win today!” and then get kicked in the balls repeatedly.

Exactly. Well put.

Although at this point, I’d rather see us continue to lose until drastic changes are made. No good comes out of Griffey hitting a double tomorrow, Fister getting the win, and everyone on FSN and ESPN radio breathing a sigh of a relief.

I literally don't care anymore.

This is the part of the season that if it wasn’t for LL that I wouldn’t actually watch or care about games anymore.

I haven't had a television since May 1, thank God.

Although that’s kind of why I feel the need to go to a few games this next series, because even if they’re bad, I still feel obligated to follow them.

How many times has Suzuki done that to us?

Fuck him.

OceanBird - May 18, 2010 reply

They chose to face him, too

I want the other players on the 25 man roster to get bars of soap, wrap them in towels, and beat Rob Johnson mercilessly...

remember, if anyone asks, it was just a bad dream.

I don't want Rob to snap, kill Wak, and threaten to kill Franklin, though.

Is it too late to fire Wak and hire R. Lee Ermey as the manager?

"You are not even human fucking beings. The more you hate me the more you will learn. I am fair- here you are all equally worthless."

I wish I could make myself have a dream with Rob Johnson in it.

So I can know what it feels like carve Rob’s face and the joy of piercing his torso with a blade.