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Lookout Landing

5/19: Open Game Thread, Part 2

This is literally more of the same. This team knows one way to lose, and they do it well.

0 recs  |  1074 comments

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Rally fries discussion got worse

Now they’re talking about signs.

Hey even more bad luck on balls in play!
Right into a fucking glove again.
Our strategy is apparently to lull our opponents to sleep.

And the strike while the iron is hot. Still in the fire, should reach an appropriate temperature any month now.

I really wish I could know what has been going through Cliff Lee's mind this season.
No, you don't.

It will just disappoint us.

Every pitcher we play against is "impressive."

Yes. Or we suck.

So how far behind is my feed... Sweeney just fould on a 3-3 count.
A couple minutes... between innings right now.
And Fould? Can you tell I'm typing in the dark again?
This is just like 2001.

There, I said it. 2001 was kind of boring.

Except if you were a lifelong Padres fan (slave) and 2001 was your first time witnessing decent Baseball
I blame 2001 for luring me into full-on sports fandom.

Which has, of course, resulted in nothing but pain living in Seattle.

Until the moment before we lost the playoff run.
1997 was kind of boring, too.
That was the most exciting year ever!
I wish there was something we could do
Ok - somebody on this roster murdered someone during the offseason

That’s the only way I can explain this karma….

I guess Jack Wilson
Bradley is the obvious choice, so clearly it isn't him
The Rams won the Super Bowl with Leonard Little in 1999
I don't buy this theory

The Angels murdered Nick Adenhart and they went to the playoffs.

How come we haven't got anything for the Lopez siblings
Two gobstoppers to Jeff for not closing the previous game thread
I want more gobstoppers
I take back one gobstopper for your greediness
You don't need another one.

They’re everlasting.

Marketing Lies!!
So that I can share them with the poor
Communist asshole
And then push them into the mud
And waste a gobstopper?
I take the gobstopper back
Indian-giver

(mark it, 8:54pm PDT on 5/19/2010 is when I slip into the racist jokes on LL, you all are a bad influence)

Isn't that racist against white people?
How is that racist?

Common phrases are not racist

What the hell is an Indian-giver?
Somebody who gives something then takes it back
But that's what white people do
Yeah but it shouldn't matter what moniker is applied
Sort of like God?
Nigga please!
I so wanted to be the one,

but far to new to throw out the big “N”.

I think that spelling is the little n
When I was a kid my aunt called Brazil nuts nigger toes and apparently lots of other cracker ass crackers did too.
Yeah, they're just like any other nut

Fucking bigots.

But then it's got poor person all over it?

Who the hell wants a poor-person-covered gobstopper?

I wash it in the mud
The poor person or the gobstopper?
God, you're an asshole.

You push them in the mud, throw them in the back of your truck, them have them roll around your lawn to fertilize it.

Communist asshole
Rocks are gobstoppers for the poor
And they're far more "everlasting"
Tell that to Mt St Helen's rocks

:(

They're still lasting - just in tinier pieces!

much tinier…

Crack rocks?
Don't you DARE give crack a bad name.
He's promoting it if anything.
You can't gobstopper people
I'd like to lose a new way

Like if we scored more runs and still lost.

I want to see us score negative runs.

Or some other kind of breakthrough, paradigm shifting manner of completely fucking the pooch.

I'm not sure Poochie is okay with that.
Poochie doesn't get fucked by anyone except Ms. Poochie
I bet she's a real bitch hur hur hur
So that would be your sister or other close relative, right?

Because if she were your wife, she would be Mrs. Poochie.

Mrs. Poochie is my mom
Yesterday?
A 20-13 loss would be cool
Sounds exciting!
Hey guys do we still suck
Ask geoff Baker.
Depends on your definition of "suck..."
Bright side stuff

1. Fister

2. Lopez can play 3rd

OPTIMISM IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.

Flagged and nominated for banning.

Also
  1. draft pick in 2011!!!
HARPER'S GONNA TURN THE NATS DOWN
Baron.

Yes, please. But I will never be party to rooting against my teams for any purposes. Who are we, the Nats?

My bad, Harper.

Getting my newb catchers confused.

Harper is being drafted this year
How do you confuse Steve Baron and Bryce Harper?
Simple lapse in memory.

Trust me, I’ve spent more time than is appropriate looking at Bryce Harper footage. Check youtube for the Tropicana Field BP/HR derby clip.

The problem is that the hints of brightness are what make the rest of it so much worse to take
Contrast's a bitch.
According to Fangraphs, we're in a better position than Philadelphia over the long haul

Or something like that

Kevin Goldstein ripped us a new one today on ESPN
Whoopy
Yeah, I didn't realize our organization ranks next to Houston and Baltimore for suckiness
Who cares?
We aren't close to Philly, nor are we where Goldstein thinks
We don't have Ryan Howard's contract on our books
We don't have Ryan Howard

Or Utley, or Halladay, or Rollins, or Werth, or D. Brown, or Hamels

I wouldn't want Ryan Howard
And I sure as hell wouldn't want the front office that signed him, twice
I don't disagree, but the talent disparity is pretty large
Wasn't really the point of those rankings
Shockingly, current talent does not equal future talent
So current talent isn't to be measured when determining organizational strength?
It is a part of it
Right - And I'd argue the most important part
But then it'd just be like any other "power rankings"

The organizational rankings did something different.

"Part" is not the same as "Whole"
Signing aging players to large, long term contracts is.
Of course it is

along with future talent and how the organisation is actually run.

So current talent is going to last forever?

Because that’s about the same leap of logic that you just took with my statement.

No, but your comment implies future talent is more important than it really is
That's completely subjective
Unfortunately that happens a lot in an online discussion

I could point out that your “Shockingly” comment was a subjective interpretation of what I had said.

Philly’s current talent outweighs any advantage our organization might have in the FO or in the farm system.

In my opinion
Good for you
I appreciate the lack of condescension
You're welcome
I like USSM.

But this place is just… funnier. Being mean to stupid people is more a duty than it is a taboo in my book. Note that I didn’t even read the above micro-thread. Just saying.

I like how you can say "Fuck off" to people as well!
Seconded, motion waived, passed.
Stop while you're ahead.
He's a 3-4 win player being paid like A-Rod!
Is Dustin Ackley really a worse prospect than Domenic Brown?

Also Howard and Rollins are oldish and/or overpaid.

I think you could make that argument
I think the difference is negligible at this point.
Philly's organization is a year or two away from making Greece fell better about their current economic situation
I hope Santorini erupts
I THOUGHT THIS LITTLE SUBTHREAD WAS FOR POSITIVE THINGS
I don't know who this is
We pretty clearly are
I WANT RAUL BACK
So...... apparently half an inning just happened.
On the bright side, that's potentially less of our lives we've devoted to 2010.
4 PITCHES?
Nobody noticed
Only three more innings until this is over!
And at this rate, it'll be about 10 minutes.
We'll tie and then invent yet another way to lose in extras.
What the hell?
New Mariners slogan.
I missed it

What is it?

What the hell?
Seriously... Right?
KOTCHROCKET!!!
Leadoff hit
Oh yeah we can't possibly fuck that up!
Hypothetical:

If Fister continues like this, keeps getting lucky with his starts and doesn’t regress too much, could he make the all-star team? It seems hard to argue with his numbers, but he doesn’t have any kind of positive track record.

No, but maybe we trade him?
Instead of watching the game I will picture Josh Bard with a bushy bear playing the lute and singing songs of dragons and chivalry
Sounds like a Match 4 commercial
Those dudes sing acapella
Capital One?

Fuck I hate that company…

Apparently you've never played A Bard's Tale.

You walk around, get ambushed by a creature, and your whole party dies. Reload?

I totally played A Bard's Tale. Once.

That game was fucking retarded

Sounds about right

Is there a link to your Paypal?

You just made my night.

Why I sure do!
Why rec when you can donate?
As long as it goes to alcohol and Josh Bard's Tale 'chops.
I rec *and* donate!

And stand in awe of your ability to post images that damned fast.

Do you still Rickroll?
Find out
Hom much do I have to pay?
Lots
Pay me in lots
...of hair?
I'm not making rope
What are you making?
Lettuce
Oh then you just need seeds
So you can plan a lettuce tree
Everyone knows you can't make vaginas
I can sure as fuck try.

If I create a pussy-tree can I count on some investors from this site?

I will give you 93% of my annual income if you make sure it works
Subthread so totally closed
To the lab!

While I’m at it, I’ll exhume Jr. Griffey and attempt to harvest body parts from Albert Pujols and Ryan Braun to… augment his death-diminished skills.

Do you have to actually commit a crime to be a sex offender?
Sexting qualifies these days!
The weird thing is I'm not that way in real life
And I'm not a twisted botogeneticist.
Are you going to register me for my comment?
This ST is foul
I'm so good at this
I bait people into being terriible posters!
You can make babies

50% of babies have vaginas

You have to wait 18 years though
JESUS FUCK
Sorry...18 years 9 months
Yeah that was the problem.
How many volcanoes per lot?
Burning hair smell... ewww!
Surprise me
You sound like my wife
He gets a "The"?
First multi-hit inning of the game? Or the season?

Way to clarify, Sims.

Paperboy!
Hey we're doing something
SCORE SOME RUNS YOU JERKS!
And here come the Mariners!
chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga

YES YES YES
PEOPLE CALLED JOSH ARE CLEARLY AWESOME
APART FROM EVERY JOSH I'VE EVER MET
I don't think Bard could run all the way around the bases without stopping to rest along the way
Josh Bard might make running look more painful than Vladimir Guerrero does
But does he look like he's got a dump in his pants?
And more hate-inducing
Fuck you, ground!
Well to be fair, the ground does interfere with the catcher a fair amount!
It's time for a dinger!
They have a knack for keeping me just interested enough to not turn the damn channel!
HOLY SHIT A RUN
Ichiro!

Maybe they’ll change the rules and let him hit next?

Hey, just in time for a run!
BABIP justice!!
We need a Fister towel

Chone HR?

LETS GO MS!

I have "a run"

repeating in my head to the tune of “What’s This?” from Nightmare Before Christmas.

According to Gameday

Shawn Camp just replaced Shawn Camp. I’m obviously missing one hell of a game.

I never understood why Gameday did that.
Worst. Triple Play. Ever.
CHONE FIGGINS!
HOLY TOLEDO
Figgins is a baseball player!
WHA WHA WHAT??!
CHONE!!!!!

God it will be nice if he starts to hit.

HOLY SHIT!

CHONE!

I love this team
Rec'd for future reference
THEY'RE HEATING UP!
Sarcasm/spite aside.

We now have an entertaining ball game at least.

WHOO! CHONE CHONE~!
Well this is nice.
Chone>Shawn
THE RALLY IS ON
This feels nice.
Guys....what is going on?
Doug Fister's game face looks like Ian Snell's game face
What no it doesn't
Oh my God I'm actually leaving my desk to watch this AB.

Something wicked this way comes.

Now I'm just confused. What are these players doing?
Holy shit-what's it called when our guys run around all the bases and dont make an out?
HOT DRIPPING SEX
BOMBBOMBBOMBBOMB
LOAD THIS SHIT UP FOR SWEENEY
HOLY SHIT WE'RE RALLYING
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
So is this what the plan was supposed to look like?
Figga stole second!!!
Ah.

The offense we were supposed to have this year. ANNOY. ANNOY. Score a little. ANNOY. ANNOY. Hopefully score a little more.

Hey! Luck goes our way for once!
Listen, I'm trying to put Jr. to be so, I'm just going to throw out a GODDAMNIT for, you know, whenever soon.
*Bed. Jesus christ.
I like the Mariners!!
Don't fuck this up guys
Boy that was shitty
Hmm, I'm thinking double steal.
OH COME THE FUCK ON GUTI
Sweendawg time
Arrrrr you fucking me
Didn't see the whole sequence:

Good pitch or bad swing/guess?

That was agony.
That was an absolutely awful pitch to swing at

Guti seems to hit better when no one else is doing shit

That's what I thought. Needed confirmation.
How did Sweeny get dirty?
Hugged a groundskeeper

Or fought him… it’s all the same to the Sweendog

Bleeds dirt
I hate when that happens to guys I like.
Its like the opposite of Whack-A-Mole!

As soon as a player or two pops up, the others drop down a hole!

We're so screwed.
WILD PITCH C'MON!
It's devolved to that point?

Not “hit,” or “walk,” or “homer.” Wild pitch.

It's Mike Sweeney

We’re nothing if not realistic.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
PASSED BALL C'MON!
Balk c'mon!
Balk - like a Chicken?
DINGER.
That's a Sweendinger.
FUCK THIS SHIT!
GET OFF THIS TEAM YOU WASHED UP RETARD
FUCK

I FUCKING HATE YOU SWEENEY.

Reminded of the slogan the KJR caller came up with for the proposed replacement for "Believe Big"

“The Seattle Mariners— where every night is singles night”

"The Seattle Mariners—we added a fourth hydro and made the hat trick tougher!"
I bet Mike Sweeney farts on his 14 year old niece at Thanksgiving
I HATE THIS FUCKING TEAM SO MUCH BUT I REALLY FUCKING HATE MIKE SWEENEY
Poop on this team
FUCK.
Not that I didn't see this coming.
Yeah, I can't even muster a swear word for him anymore.
I never got excited
Maybe you just need to find the right person
Anger... rising....
Please learn from this, Wak

Mike Sweeney has no place on this or any other team.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckakjfkalgnsnjka;gerth
That was for the love of Griffey.
That was boring
Release Sweeney

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!

Without rosterbating may I say that this sucks and I hate life and I'm probably going to kill some puppies or something?

Plus I need lube to rosterbate and I’m fresh out.

Um, that sentance works fine without rosterbate in it.
What's a "sentance?"
This seems to be Decatur's trouble word
Oh.

I’ll lay off the whip, then. The gag stays.

That and I always type "Christ" when I mean to type Chris.

Spellcheck forsakes me there.

I always write Atlanta Breaves
Look I did it again
Neftali Felix
Ichirp
Dogs don't chirp you faggot
Wprf
That only happened once
New Baseball Prospectus stat?
For clarity's sake, I was just fucking with you.

I have a friend who is actually pretty smart but quite literally spells like a retarded fourth-grader. Very strange.

I wasn't offended.
Juzt mayking shure.
Trouble words are the worst
So just ignore them and keep... ya know...
All you really need is an imagination and a lousy GM to fleece.
www.daytonmooreswallows.com
Are his wallows for sale?
I thought he was selling birds.
Seriously, did anyone actually get excited there? We all knew that was happening.
Expect the worst from this time
I got excited until Gutz struck out.
Pretty much this. Once Guti was done, I knew we were boned. =(
There worst part of this was the excitement. Where is that sweet numbness?
I tried.

This… this has never happened to me before. No, babe, it’s not you. You look great. I’m just not responding for some reason. Can you not tell your friends? I’ll talk to my doctor about Cialis or something. There’s lots of ways to deal with this! For now… maybe the M’s should just go Colonel Angus on their opponents.

I'm sad because this will not be a new, interesting way to lose.
It is very difficult to lose in new ways.
We don't know until we try!
Mets found a way tonight.
Meaning we always manage to fight back to within 1 run and lose the game?
I go drive home now and spare you my comments for awhile

and I rejoice in my whiteness at Taco Del Mar on the way!

We should have John Wetteland pitch.

He’d fit right in with our DHs.

He could probably hit as well as our DHs
But he was a pitcher!
I am fully aware of this
Figiggins!
I can't believe we're going to lose another one run game
We haven't lost...Oh who am I kidding

Yeah, fuck it.

It's pretty unbelievable
Oh it'll be less than one
Two more outs and then we get to tryt o score more runs!
Saunders makes that catch.
Booing Bradley?
I choose to assume it was the Jays fans.
Not sure quite what happened, but that foul ball ended up on the field. Not sure if Milton muffed it.
Saunders NOW! >=(
Saunders three weeks ago.

Even the Garko/Kotchman platoon experiment excited me FAR more than the debacle they had planned with that twisted Griff/6-4-3/Bradley/Byrnes orgy of terror.

So Doug Fister is still pitching
Fister is THE good

Sweeney is the suck.

We need to toughen him up.
Is this the deepest he's gone?
Anyone who replies to this with a Fister joke is an arse, by the way.
What about a "that's what she said" joke?
If you'd like to be banned, go ahead
I hope we get a win soon, Matthew. I think we both need an excuse to relax.
I yearn to live to see the day that jokes about your word placement can just be made referentially

rather than in a ha ha you said penis manner of a 3rd grader

B+ for subtlety.
I was surprised as well
We only have six relievers again, have to be careful
Doug Fister isn't showing anyone anything.

He’s acting exactly the same, Krueger

Is Krueger in the booth or something?
Niehaus has the day off and Blowers is on radio.
Ah, I've had the sound low, so all I've heard is bits of Sims
Be thankful you don't have the radio on.

You missed Rally Fry Radio Theatre.

Bradley is gonna tie this up.
Sean White is in AAA because of roster issues
Not because he deserves to be in AAA
I think Sweeney and Griffey qualify as roster issues

put nicely

I like how he is no better than a middle reliever in AAA
Wow nice play Figgy.
Way to not suck
Jose Lopez would've gotten that.
Wait that's wrong.
You know,

I havent hheard much about team chemestry this year

Grrrrrrrrr
You sound like a dog
You would know
My mom has dogs
This is how families work
Not all moms have dogs!
Moms of dogs have dogs
You are a canine
ruff

;)

Stop humping my leg you rockin dog
I'm gonna be sleepin in the doghouse tonight :(
Nice play, Figs.

See. I can be positive.

Sweendawg needs to be put to sleep.
Rec'd

For cruelty.

Fister at 107 pitches

Hmmmmm…

Every time I hear this baby teeth radio ad

I wonder how many of our players still have their baby teeth.

Ha! A Jack in the Box score

What will they think of next?

Burger King Felix
That would suck
He just drew in the dirt
Did he draw this?

It's weird how good Scott Downs has become
We aren't going to win this game are we...
I have confidence in this lineup.
Bradley dinger come onnnnn
Bradley, I'm waiting for that welcome back homer.
So figgins was perfect through the first 6 batters, and the last 14, with 3 outs to go?

But somehow managed to squeeze 5 hits and 3 ER in the middle.

Fuck, Fister, not Figgins.

They look so alike, I always get them confused.

This happens to me too.
I think Fister leaves Figgins-sized pieces of yesterday's dinner in the toilet every morning.
Wak is optimistic

Aardsma’s up in the pen.

C'mon Bradley...
So, it's been about a week since Aardsma last pitched huh?

because goodness knows you wouldn’t want a closer to do anything but close.

Or fail to close

As DA has done too often.

Don't be down on everything.

9 shutdowns, 3 meltdowns.

Bradley has seen a shit load of pitches tonight
He also has 2 line drives!
Plus that awesome smile!
SINGLE!
Woooo Baltimore Chop!
Well I'll be ....
The scoreboard guy though that was popped up?
You know, as much of a jerk as Milton Bradley is supposed to be, I suspect I'd still rather have him as my teammate than Hanley Ramirez

From a personality standpoint, strictly speaking.

Also note that I wrote this before I found out that Milton got on base
I'd rather have Hanley as my teammate because holy fuck he's good.
See, this is exactly the sort of comment I was hoping to avoid by spelling it out in my post.

We get it: Hanley’s a better player. But from everything I have read (both about this current incident and before) he is a colossal douchebag of legendary proportions. Apparently his teammates pretty much hate his spoiled ass.

Sorry, I only read the subject line.
But do baseball people really give a fuck about personality? When the player is good enough I think that just all PR.
By "baseball people" do you mean his teammates?
Apparently some guys make their teammates care.
No I talking about like FO people saying they care about character. At some point talent has to trump that.
Milton was man enough to reach out to his teammates for help.

Hanley wouldn’t even admit mistakes.

Like we could know that
Ichiro teaching Figgins!
I can't believe Chone Figgins is one of the best baseball players in the world
Seriously: as bad as he is, he's still several standard deviations better than you or I.
I want to hear the audio of that conversation.
This is interesting.
Tui, really?
HE'S JUST GOING TO STRIKE OUT YOU DUMBASS
Oh God.

Mike Blowers is calling him “Carnation.” Worse than Sims with Gutierrez.

Yes, how dare Dave Sims pronounce Gutierrez how Franklin told him to say it.
It's not that. It's the way he has to rub it in your face like, "Haha fuckers only I can say it right."
He IS the only who who says it right.
Doesn't have to call us names though
Wait, does he?
Explain.
I was referring to what the_other_side said

God I’m bad at making jokes

Read the other side's post again.
Jesus Christ, an American pronounces a South American name right, and he's an asshole?

Now I’ve heard everything.

It's intellectual and pretentious to pronounce things correctly.
Wait, I think we may be calling Sims intellectual.
I was mocking the sentiment.
I got that after I wrote this...

Carry on.

That episode of Friends where everyone gives Ross shit for how he pronounces Karate has forever put me off pronouncing things correctly.
Sims called Brett Cecil "Brett See-sill" all game

He’s Canadian. It’s Brett Seh-sul

Not as bad as McCarver.

That was hell.

Really? Canadians pronounce this differently?
The US is the only country that says "See-sill"

I love America but that pronunciation is gross

Brett Cecil is from Maryland.
He plays for the Blue Jays
But Guti plays for us

And the latin-american way to say Gutierrez is still correct.

So I should say Goo-ty-rez?
Yeah I'm a drunk idiot right now

Disregard most of this subthread except the part that the correct pronunciation outside of America is “Seh-sul” and “See-sill” is a disgusting pronunciation that causes me to cringe every time I hear it

Seh-sul sounds pretentious.
Like I said

I love America but Americans are seriously the only people in the world that pronounce it See-sill, so I’d argue See-sill sounds pretentious

Being named "Seh-sul"

should come with a complementary monacle and top hat

Yeah

“Seh-sul” just comes out more natural.

“See-sill” sounds weird on the tongue

Game Strategy!
Did Kotchman die?
Be good at hitting lefties you douche
NOT GOOD ENOUGH FUCKFACE
Our backup "shortstop" is pinch hitting for our first baseman. Wow.
In fairness he's also our backup first baseman :(
He is our backup everything
Our backup shortstop fields like a firstbaseman
Ewwwiasosopo :(
Wak FAIL!
THis entire season has been one big Wak FAIL!
And I thought this would turn into a Brandon Morrow joke.
The fuck was the point of that?
Funny how Wak rarely did stuff like that last year.
JOSH BARD WILL DELIVER US ALL TO THE PROMISED LAND
I wonder if Dave Cameron liked that move...
At least this means that Ichiro will bat in the 9th
Please let it be us with the walk off tonight.
Only if Wak PHs Langherhans
Tis a pleasant fantasy, isn't it?
I think we deserve after all the bad times in Oakland and Chicago.
Don't get your motherfucking hopes up
More lineouts please
I don't think you understand how this game is played
DUDE. He has Golfberger's Syndrome.
At least we have one more try!
Three more!
Right to the fielder, how unusual.
Just our (lack of) luck
They know they don't have to hit it right at someone, right?
Why can't that someone be a fan in the bleachers for once?
It must be easy to be opposing fielders. You don't have to mov e much, the ball just comes right too you.
Another hard-hit ball
Fred Lewis was free
Only when he fled to Canada.
Wouldn't really have a role here, if that's what you mean
Not really

just remarking.

He's not that good
I know
John Buck is 29
Is he really?

Seems older

We would pull further out in front in the blackest team in the majors standings
Should have kept Bill Hall
I LOVED BILL HALL
Oh you're one of those N word lovers
It's my favorite word. :)
I believe the technical term is dark shark.
Hands up everyone who was surprised by that outcome!
Woohoo I can get Ms tickets at half price by going to various stores?

Do I want to?

Starbucks is giving them away free on Friday.
Yeah but if I'm going to an overrated coffee place I want to get a beverage and I fucking hate starbucks.
All true NWers know there are far better coffee players than Starbucks
Coffee places
We should try to win this shit
W...

W…? Wii….? Win…..?

Let's rock it
Now you're speaking my language
Let's gobstopper it
Woah now, that's radical thinkiing.
So I get the emotional/mental pain.

Does anyone else actually experience a physical discomfort during these telecasts?

I used to

I’m numb now.

Hey it might not be another 1-run loss!
Guti for all outfield positions!
That didn't remind me of Swan Lake
Saunders would have caught that!
Doubtful.
I know, I just like saying it.
I hate you, David Aardsma.
Guti should show Ichiro how to approach the wall.
OT:

Terrence is going to Kentucky. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

/off topic (my apologies)

Are you serious???
Yeah they just announced it.
did you really think he wouldn't?
Too many reports to the contrary earlier in the week.

So, yeah, I did. I was on campus all day and kept a keen eye out. What a shitty sports town.

That's what Angie just said on the telecast :(
Tis true

I wonder how much Coach CAl is paying Jones under the table.

Who

I love the great state of Kentucky but who the fuck is Terrence

Top prep player out of Jefferson HS in Portland, OR

Originally verbal led to UW.

That would do it
This isnt OT

The gamethreads are just ranting know

Calipari is a slimeball.
Sucks to be you!

He’s actually from my state, but we had a Kentastrophe over the last two years… so he didn’t even bother considering UO.

Huskies got his less talented teammate!
The other Terrence.

Yay. Great. Fuck.

Kent really didn't recruit from Oregon

More from his home area in the midwest.

Bahahaha

I’m going to UW….PSYCH…Suckers!!!!

God, I hate them breaking from the broadcast like that.
Jeff has inspired me, and now I describe things as clown shoes.

It’s a good one.

TAKE A SEAT!
Why are they still doing the DA graphics in a non-save situation when we're going to lose
Im confused

MLB at bat says Fister’s era is 1.96 but Espn has it at 2.12, who should i believe?

I'd go with MLB.
Cool thanks, I just wanted other people's opinion.
ESPN still exists?

I haven’t watched it in a year.

I cannot fathom how they've gotten along without you.
Wow, you're missing like 85% of all sports on TV
New England sports.
Yes how dare they show the most popular teams
Don't be a Masshole.
Don't be an idiot and we'll call it even
Hell there, 2003
It's like crack.

It obviously sucks, Insider costs money I shouldn’t be spending and its pushed on you like your friendly, neighborhood corner dealer. Yet still I watch.

Probably because MLB is updating it as it goes

and ESPN will update after the game is over.

My apologies regarding the OT post.

I knew better but was too hurt to not mention it. Won’t happen again.

It was related to the broadcast.
Is it just me or does Buck look a bit like Youkilis?
Well, we can lose by 1 again
That was a ball?!
Come on, we deserve a freaking walk-off.
Let's get Aardsma a win!
Let's get our hopes up for that!
Ok, time to go watch on TV.
Time to win these shits
I wants a walkoff
Like, the players just leaving the field before the game is actually over?
They do in spirit a lot

If not in body.

I'm not sure its time yet
so you can eat them?

Fucking dogs

Go chew on some grass and barf it up
Oh, Griffey is pinch hitting this inning.
Well, there's one wasted at-bat.
Dear LORD.

GRIFFEY?!

Griffey in, game forfeited.
WHATTTTT

WHAT???

ON YOUR FEET FOR GRIFFEY
"Junior having a tough month."

Really?

WHY IS GRIFFEY PINCH HITTING?
If we tie this up Tui at SS ewwwwwwwwwwwwww...
He'd be at first.
No we'd have to put Langerhans in for Griffey because we have no SS now
Won't matter if we lose
For fuck's sake............
Oh Griffey Phing

Goodie.

Griffey?

Really Wak?

This guy looks like a f a lil b
HAHAHA

“Jr. having a tough month….” Blowers may now promptly suck me.

Or was that Sims?

No matter, I’m an equal opportunity dome recipient.

GROUNDBALL TO 2ND!
Can't watch.

Please, just draw a walk or something.

Do the people cheering realize who is up?
I like living dangerously!
Sports Entertainment!
i can't fucking wait for the outcome of this!
GET FUCKING REAL

AAAAARRRGHGHGHGHGHGHLSDKJGHSLKDJGH

Jr had that big RBI single way back vs. Texas the first weekend, that's it.
Blowers called Junior "something special in the batters box."

feces.

Griffey.... alright then

I guess the more times he fucks up in high leverage situations the sooner he leaves

This move fills me with rage

grrrrrr

Ken Griffey Junior will save us!
Wow. I never saw that coming.
Sigh

Go Junior. Hooray. Yippee.

Designated Out.
At least it was just one out this time.
He fuckin killed that
Unbelieveable.

Really Wak?

GET ANGRIER.
I'm not angry. I'm depressed.
DIE IN A TREE
Now you're excited

;)

How the fuck do you suggest he does that
It's a shame we don't play more games in the Jim Crow era south
We could call it a Whitey Whacker
GOD. GO AWAY NOW.
That's right, work the count Jr...

Oh, wait. It’s the bottom of the ninth. There ya go, put some wood on it!

I don't think I could handle Griffey tynig the game up
Was that necessary?
I am completely and utterly shocked off my ass
It almost got out of the infield!
Somebody boo him
I can't wait till we get to play in some NL parks and lose our DH
Ichiro, please hit a dinger.
No Alaska miles for kids with this team...
That was unexpected
OH WHAT A GIANT SHOCK

I DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING

SURELY, WAK DID NOT EITHER

I HATE EVERYONE RIGHT NOW, INCLUDING ALL OF YOU WHO LIVE IN SEATTLE AND DID NOT STOP THAT. YOU ARE EQUALLY AT FAULT GOD DAMN IT

I respect Griffey for making that clutch out.
I assume Langerhans and Saunders are hurt

I know Wak wouldn’t be dumb enough to bat Griffey instead of those guys

Now I almost hope we lose this game.
So Josh probably could have done that himself.
At the very least.
Bedard watching with great intensity.
Sims - gives a flying fuck about Griffey's BP?
JUST GO TO HELL GRIFFEY

GO TO HELL YOU FUCKER

And Chone will end this...
Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck.

Woo, 5 in a row!

8.5 out! Mariners baseball!

Toronto fans in the house
Hey, somebody has to come to the games.
Ichiro should have lifted and separated more there
He needs to use his legs more
Free um err Brad Nelson?
This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't losing like crazy.
Have I mentioned before that I love Larry Stone?

@StoneLarry And with his uncanny flair for the dramatic, Junior pops to the second baseman

Krueger said it first

when has that pitch been a strike?

Why do all Americans lump Canadians into one fan base?

Do British Columbians really root for a team 3,000 miles away as opposed to 300?

Canadians are very nationalistic and support the team within their country as opposed to the one outside their country

I salute this

Given the borders these days it's also arguably much easier to get from Vancouver to Toronto then Vancover to Seattle
What do "these days" constitute?
Since you have to have a passport to get over the border
So what- July 1 2009?
I crossed the border four times since then and each time took less than 20 minutes total
Yeah but you had to get a passport

That’s somewhat of a hardship for some people

I don't have a passport

Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t go drive to Calgary right now

For those without access to a camera or felons, sure is.
Last time I crossed my car was searched and I was patted down

That’s a significant annoyance

Hell yeah it is.

Especially when you’re carrying small amounts of controlled substances. Whoops.

I wasn't and that's why it was annoying
Dawning comprehension:

It’s annoying regardless. Annex Canada!

I'd be totally for this

I love Canadians and would love to see them and their values unite with us under our flag

This is how WW3 starts.
I think it's going to be the Canadians invading us actually

I’m not sure why- just a suspicion. They’re up there so quietly- they have to be planning an attack

Toeing the "no politics" rule....
Sorry for toeing the no Fallout rule.
Because of the $60?
$60 and the time it takes to get it
It took like 2 weeks.

You make it sound harder than it is.

It's supposed to take 6 weeks
That is so people don't get pissed off if it actually takes that long.
When I got one (it has since expired)

it took like 8

So plan ahead two months if you want to go to Canada.

The rule has been talked about enough that if you really want to go you could have a passport now.

In fairness if I still lived near the border I would probably have gotten one in case I wanted to go up
but still, the point applies

What’s easier? A direct flight to Toronto or a 2.5 hour drive with a potentially obnoxious border crossing?

I know what's cheaper.
Like I said- "arguably"

One side of the argument is “easier” and the other one is “cheaper”

No, I already had a passport
Right, but a lot of people who cross US to Canada only went to those two countries and had no need for a passport
Enhanced ID, maybe?

Or is that shit as obtuse as a I suspect it may be?

Who gives a shit?

They’re Candians.

Unintentional typo, but I still don't give a shit.
Yeah fuck other countries.
To some to degree, yes. Canada is only the Blue Jays market.
Did you ever go to a Jays game in the Dome in the early 90s?

Yes.

It's true though

We get a hell of a lot of Jays’ fans for TOR games, and I’m willing to bet a vast majority come from BC

Americans don't.

Canadians do. They’re the ones rooting for Toronto

END END END!
This team inspires me
GUTI TIME!!!!
We're walking off right here
One way or another.
One way or another.
One way or another.
One way, or possibly another way.

Or maybe not until the next batter.

Oh god I'd rather loose than have sweeny be useful.
Go Mariners!
Dear God, what I would do for Gutz to hit it out right now.
END IT NOW GUTI!
Please don't K again.
GO FRABKLIN GO!
Time for a dong!
Why do jokes involving what women say have to be bannable offenses?
They aren't funny.
Because they are played out and fucking stupid anyway.
Cool.

Just wanted a clarification.

Damnit, of course it has to be Guti. I could not care if it was anyone else.
I don't trust anyone more than Guti

I believe in you, you wonderful man

Tiny bit of hope
DUNNNN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Nice play by Overbay there
If that had ended the game...

…I would have been completely unsurprised and would have easily continued with my life.

Kreuger should never laugh.

It is disheartening.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HOLY SHIT WE'RE DOING STUFF
Here comes the fucktard.
Damnit. Sweeney.
And our hopes rest on Sweeney

Fuck….

HE LOOK IT'S MIKE SWEENEY
OH FUCK OFF MIKE SWEENEY
Too bad we can't PH Griffey here
Yeah Griffey is clutch you know

Blowers says.

Langerhans would be nice
PINCH HIT SAUNDERS
OR LANGERHANS
I'm sad because Sweeney is up
Oh fuck it's Sweeney
Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiike Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeney
GUTI

WHY DID YOU BAT SWEENEY CLEANUP WAK??? WHY?!?!

Sweeney :(

Come on old man. Just one hit!

HERE COMES MIKE SWEENEY!

His heart is going to give out at this rate.

It's Mike Sweeney and suddenly I don't care any more.
This is cruel. Raising our hopes with two outs in the 9th... then Sweeney comes up.
Well.

I’m confident, how ’bout you gentlemen?

PH HIM YOU IDIOT
But he's been designated to hit!
He's like a total professional you guys
PH Langehans please
CAPT. HUGGY HUGS FTW
And here comes Sweendog to fuck it all up
PINCH HIT LANGERHANS aND GIVE UP THE DH WHEN WE TIE IT
Sweeny??.....

well…. Good game guys

Sween:Dong is up
Lean into one.
LEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Double steal!
FUCK

Has a team’s win probability ever decreased after a single (with no outs recorded)?

Look at his face, he already gave up.
He took a pitch.
Would have been nice if that came after an SB
Let's see if Sweeney can buy himself another month in the lineup.
WHY AM I NERVOUS

CAN’T I JUST NOT CARE

6-4-3! 6-4-3!
You're killing the vibe, man!

And give me my rug back, it really ties the room together.

Already 2 outs.
Does he throw to Overbay for funsies?
Do not swing Sweeney!
TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKE
He's not listening
SWEENEY LAUGHS AT YOU
I am confident he won't hack a an outside pitch
Dear God,

I know you have a wonderful sense of humor, so I can’t think of anything funnier than a Sweeney HR right now. Make it happen

Single with someone thrown out on the bases taking us to extras.
Please just do good. I need this. We all do.
GOD DAMMIT STOP DON'T SWING AT SHIT
HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK!
Strikeout coming
THAT WAS A BALL
I cannot watch.
SACK OF SHIT

DO NOT SWING

ALRIGHT NOW LOPEZ IS UP CAUSE SWEENEY WALKED!
This is gonna be awesome.
Oh man he really wants to win!
Oh my fuck please
He hasn't thrown a single fastball, Krueger

I understand stupid, but are you seriously so stupid that you cannot see a TV monitor

THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO CARE
I have ZERO expectations
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
God damn you Rick Rizzs
OH FUCK!

Close…

Well, that's a taco
Their futility was legendary.

That is how I will describe the 2010 Mariners to my son when he is old enough to understand the pain of failure.

1 run loss.

Surprise.

Yes, Considerably.
GOD DAMN IT, FUCK THE RADIO GUYS
Sounded like a home run
"BELTED! Deep to... second base?"
He hit it pretty hard
He does manage to hit the ball hard a lot
So. Painful.
He got SO fucking excited
Yeah

He sounded like he was going into his homerun call.

I figured it out when he started yelling OF names
fucking Riz had me sold for a second
What would Rizzs sell were he to sell things?
Also, spelling on that correct?
And that's why radio is dead
AAAAND HE SWINGS AT BALL FOUR
Alright I will now plunge Drano into my carotid. G'night!
SEASON OVER
Yet I'm still going to go to games.

If any of you season ticket holders gave up, I’d love to take your tickets for free :)

Rizzs/the crowd totally fooled me

For a half second.
Boo.

FUCK YOU FRED LEWIS

FUCK YOU MIKE SWEENEY

FUCK YOU WAK

FUCK YOU GRIFFEY

FUCK YOU KRUEGER

Griffey was the fucking key to all of this.

He’s essentially a guaranteed out these days. Why the fuck are we wasting at bats?! UGHHHHHHHHHHH. WHY CAN’T I JUST NOT FUCKING CARE?

Ball six
A couple of those looked pretty close on Gameday. Not true?
A couple still means ball four.
Aaaaaaaaand Sweeney keeps his job
I thought it was going to get down :(
Life is not fair.
For M's fans.
Aww man at least we gave it our best.
Screenshot that at bat, it was a Sweeney special.
I just hate my life.
Still emotionally interested, huh?
Thank God that shit is over

Now I can watch Modern Family on DVR

Modern Family is beast.
DAMNIT ALL

FUCK OFF SWEENEY YOU HACKING SON OF A BITCH.

Anyone want to guess what our record was after 40 games in 2008?

No peeking on Baseball Reference!

16-24?
Nope! But you're close!
15-25?
Ding!

And 8.5 games out.

So much for “but it’s a weak division”.

Balls. I hate being right.
You know what I hate?

a- this is so blatantly obviously a better team than 2008 it’s not even funny.
b- yet, somehow, the Mariners DESERVE to be sporting an awful record.

This is what pisses me off so much--our FO is smarter than they were 3 years ago.

At least in ‘08 we had the schadenfreude kick of seeing Bavasi’s arcane methods fail miserably. But now we have guys in charge who know what they’re doing, and they sit on their hands while the season crumbles. It’s so maddening.

I can't believe we lost
Yeah its crazy
ONE STRIKE THE WHOLE FUCKING AT BAT

GEE I WONDER WHAT DAVE’S RECAP WILL LOOK LIKE?

There is no recap
Gameday says the 4th and 6th pitches of the AB were close, but yeah, Sweeney sucks
One of these days, a win will be ours.
Now lets not jump to conclusions.
Yes, let's fly at supersonic speeds toward them.
Suckers, I was watching Mythbusters!
So worth it.

Even if I had to watch the build team do another lame myth.

The waterslide made up for it!
Why do the losses still physically hurt?

Seriously?

I'm getting a PBR right now

No reason to waste a good beer on this loss.

Nail polish remover.

No reason to waste drinkable alcohol on this loss.

Because if we're on a forum during a game, we're clearly irrationally devoted.

Also… beer.

Yes... nectar of the gods.
Fuck me in my brain

You’re driving me….. INSANE!!!!!

You don't walk off the island
Surprise surprise, had a perfect chance to pinch-hit Saunders in that situtation and didn't do it.

It’s not like he would have done any worse.

Or Langerhans

Wait – Wak had TWO options sitting on the bench?

I can't wait to see Phase 2 of Dave's fury unleashed soon.
I shudder to think...
.

@ LookoutLanding On a 2-0 count, with the game on the line, Mike Sweeney was looking dead-red and swung at a ball in the dirt

@ d_a_cameron Twice.

Indifference hasn't come yet

This still pains me…

TERRENCE JONES!

KENTUCKY BASKETBALL!

Rec'd because Softy is about to commit suicide

Also: Maury Povich!

Can't wait for the sanctions to come in next year
Yes, please.
I don't want to fucking hear it right now, OK?
I hope Kentucky eliminates UW in the NCAA tournament.

Go Cougs :D

I hope the Cougs field at least a Pop Warner-level squad this fall.

But then again, I am an emotional masochist… as my membership to this site shows.

We were 11-11 with Cliff Lee coming back and starting a 9-game homestand.

>:(

It's all Cliff's fault, obviously.
Its Lee's fault

I knew it.

WINNERS WIN
COUGS COUG IT
Your screen name is Maury Povich.
Wak and Byrnes fucked this team up
April 30. When our hopes and dreams were not yet crushed.
At least we got J.P. Losman!

Locked up!

Can he put up a .550 OPS?
Hey, maybe we can protest this loss for some inane reason like Girardi last night?
Atleast we get a lot of shiny prospects for Cliff as suppose to some gay draft picks
By the way, I blame the organization more than Griffey

95% of professional athletes don’t know when to admit they suck and retire.

I agree

Griffey still wants to play and get paid a lot for it. Why should he quit? Its the organizations job to say enough is enough.

Post-game press conference

<Wak, in his low, monotone voice> “We really liked a couple of swings Sweeney put on the ball, especially that last one. In any other ball park that’s a home run. We’re gonna keep running Mike out there in the clean-up spot.”

"We played a pretty good game, just came up short in some situations. We'll get em' tomorrow."
Quote or speculation?
Please say speculation..............
Did he honestly say this?
Every game Griffey gets a PA is a loss you can blame on Wak.
Milton just said he's been working "ever so hard"
I love Milton.
Even if this season continues to suck in this manner, I'll be happy if:

1. Saunders pans out, and
2. Bradley finds some peace in that mind of his

Milton apparently just got back from a posh English boarding school for young girls.
I LOVE MILTON BRADLEY
Fuck this.

I’m just going to go pretend my fictional M’s franchise in The Show is the real M’s team.

Trade Cliff already!
Defeatist!

Let’s pull some Stalinist shit on this saboteur! Ice-pick, Trotsky style?

Just got to the end of this thread finally.

I’ll be watching tomorrow. I like afternoon games.

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