Lookout Landing

They are both so fucking good.

Also, these people are clearly problem gamblers! They wonder don’t know how they “can live without” Snoqualmie Casino. They’re convinced that they are guaranteed to win. They’re there like every night! These people need help, not songs of praise!

BAD. SO FUCKING BAD.

Oh God I hope that wasn’t a Freudian slip

Aren't there at least 3? Or just the insipid 80s pop and the nu-metal? I think there's more of a ballady one too...

Or maybe they’re just multiplying in my head. There’s no Tejano version, right?

There are a few of them, but I'm thinking specifically of the 80s pop one

Unfortunately, and thankfully, I can’t find any video.

That's the worst, but I love the fact that they made a nu-metal version of it. I'm waiting patiently for the hip-hop version.

I just drown out the song by imagining all the guys calling each other bro while they gamble and high five

Those are insanely happy gamblers. Their need to high five is basically pathological.

It’s like douchebag tourette’s.

And what the hell are the nazi and that chick staring at with looks of concern

Things not going so well in yonder Stalingrad?

Most of the actors in these commercials work for the casino

I recognize several of them from my excursions there (fuck the casino, but I love their cigar lounge)

Thank you for the opportunity to provide feedback on this; you helm a mighty, well-rounded ship here.

Wonder what the nu-metal band thought about doing a take on ‘we come again?’

See, the worst part is that it doesn't sound like nu-metal to me.

It sounds like a cynical, ad-executive take on early 90s pop-grunge. I really, really hope the Lemons weren’t desperate enough for money to-no, no. They wouldn’t.

I think Nabil's doing fine with Sonic Boom, so I doubt it.

I don’t hear as much of the pop-grunge, but I can see where you’re going with it. Either way, I bet it’s not what the band thought they’d be doing when they started playing along to Metallica songs as kids.

I hope they have to cry themselves to sleep at night because they deserve all the suffering in the world

Amen, brother.

ACTUALLY I LIKE THEM SO MUCH I WANT TO GIVE THEM BLANKETS NO CHARGE

I say we stab the first person to not answer Fuck you Snoqualmie Casino

Because clearly that person should not be allowed to reproduce and further dilute our gene pool.

Captain Lurker - May 21, 2010 reply

Yes because we all have to think exactly the same way all the time!

In this particular case there is no excuse for anything other than total groupthink

In that case I vote that Griffey start every game from here on in

oh wait what was the question again

Anyone opposed to groupthink should be stabbed

Griffey sucks but should be respected! Fuck the Snoqualmie casino! Groupthink is great!

Individuality is fine as long as we all do it together

I really enjoy being in the

“I’m the only guy I know that’s cool enough to be into (indie band)” crowd. Such a cool crowd.

"River, we're not trying to tell people what to think; we're just trying to show them how"

:-)

NWade - May 21, 2010 reply

WE COME AGAIN

Is this a Firefly reference?

Close - Serenity (the Firefly movie)

it seemed a perfectly valid follow-up after the recent Voclano and board-game discussions validated the general geek-cred around here.

Firefly’s frustrating lack of (commercial) success and early termination also presents a nice little parallel to the M’s season.

NWade - May 21, 2010 reply

There's a strong Whedonite contingent on LL.

Sometimes I feel like I’m in a cult, but that’s okay because Whedon is amazing.

harkening - May 21, 2010 reply

heh.

I've watched the series quite a bit and the movie. Both are vastly underrated

They don't play them on the radio, so there's that.

Unfortunately there are the Schick Shadel ads. The background music for the Super Supplements ads in 2002-3 is easily the worst of any radio ad I’ve ever heard

Weren't the SS commercials the same two notes repeated over and over?

DEEDLE EEDLE DEEDLE EEDLE DEEDLE EEDLE EEEEEEEE…..

That's the one! And the volume would increase/decrease. Repeatedly

I almost ripped the AM radio out of my Toyota and threw it out the window

Several times during the course of those seasons, because of those commercials.

And the late night replay of the games, it was on constantly.

If the Snoqualmie Casino ads are anything like that then I’m completely sympathetic with burning them down.

I wouold like to personally apologize for those

Hope you mean the Shadel ads, because if you wrote the jingle for S.S. there's gonna be consequences

The stink eye. Something.

The person responsible for those ads has been sacked.

The person responsible for sacking the person responsible for those ads, has been sacked

Unfortunately not :(

I'm hoping by "sacked" you do not mean fired, but instead meant "tied up in a sack and beaten remorselessly."

No.

Kicked repeatedly in the testicles.

thebyron - May 21, 2010 reply

I just can't wait for the Banner Bank commercial

featuring the guy they refused to give a loan to because of his gambling debts, which were exponentially greater because of his drinking problem, which was catered to at Boundary Bay Brewing, which led him to go to Snoqualmie for “just one more hand…this one will get me back to zero!”

WE’RE ALL CONNECTED

aaaaaaaand fade out

You forgot to mention the guy who built the road to get to Snoqualmie Casino in the first place

The thing about the Snoqualmie commercial

I can’t believe I’m saying it, but it makes the commercial for the Tulalip sound good. Keep in mind that the Tulalip song goes like this: “Let’s have fun, fun, fun at the number one place for fun.” I think that song was written by a retarded 3 year old.

arbeck77 - May 21, 2010 reply

But it's the number one place for fun!

There are obviously stringent criteria for such things so it HAS to be awesome!

But clearly "fun" rhymes with "fun"

I don’t understand how you think this is a poorly written song.

I like it because I like to call LL the number one place for pun

Well, used to

And perhaps again, with time

TWOLAYYYYY-LIP!

Omerta - May 21, 2010 reply

Any guesses about how the FOX announcers would pronounce that?

NWade - May 21, 2010 reply

Fun fun fun at the number one place for fun is the most amazing lyric ever.

And I’ll be damned if anyone says otherwise.

Somehow I have not noticed Snoqualmies commercials, I just zone out during the breaks. But I love Casino commercials in general… because I have so rarely been to a casino and smiled, laughed with friends, or had fun. Or seen very many other white people.

Tulalip Casino-o-o! Just for the fun of it!

I don't think I've ever seen it,

but assuming it’s the same as every other casino commercial ever, it’s incredibly depressing.

Teej - May 21, 2010 reply

Artists who should try their hand at casino jingles because I'd love to hear their take on this sort of fluff

Nick Cave
Bruce Springsteen
Michael Stipe
Robert Pollard
M. Ward
Lemmy

I would go to a casino with a Lemmy jingle.

The Ace of Spades would fit rather easily into a blackjack scenario, so there’s that. And Lemmy is busy appearing in pretty much everything anyway; he may have already done this in California.

I would go to a casino with a Robert Pollard jingle because you know he wouldn't water down the free drinks

Yes, I'd be more likely to go to a casino with a Bob jingle, but that's 100000x less likely to happen.

“Uh, Robert, you don’t mention the name of the casino in this jingle. The lyrics I can make out are ‘Wildly titrate the Vizier’s facemask’ and I’m not sure if people are going to connect that with our new casino and lounge’s fabulous array of table games.”

On the upside

there’d be a new jingle every hour or two!

Worst commercial fucking ever

Stormton - May 21, 2010 reply

You shouldn't commercial fuck.

They remained clothed during the entire commercial so it's really the worst commercial dry hump ever

Is this in regards to the music or the Zach Morris wannabe?

Wilder. - May 21, 2010 reply

Both?

The slogan should be:

Taking our land back one slot pull at a time!

Rich Langford - May 21, 2010 reply

I don't see the option for hoping the casino burns down in a mysterious fire.

May be implied within the phrase

“Fuck you Snoqualmie Casino”.

Being overt about it loses the mystery

These commercials make my junk hurt worse than Rob Johnson's

My girlfriend (not much of a baseball fan) knows two things about the M’s 2010 season: 1. There were high expectations going into the season, and things haven’t worked out well so far. and 2. They have the shittiest commercials on television.

I don’t know how many times this year I’ve witnessed an inning ending double play, a missed squeeze bunt, or a rally killing K only to have this commercial come on. “Fuck you Mariners and Fuck you Snoqualmie Casino I’m going to bed.” Perfect poll answer.

DJ@MT - May 21, 2010 reply

The Great Wolf Lodge commercials: better or worse?

I’d like to say that the Great Wolf Lodge ones are at least trying to be somewhat terrible while the Snoqualmie ones aren’t.

The absolute best part is the high drama scene

Where the chick is looking longingly out in to the distance for no reason

seattlesundevil - May 21, 2010 reply

Reading this thread I'm grateful that I've never seen it.

Eyeball Kid - May 21, 2010 reply

I am grateful that you haven't seen it also

I have opposite feeling.

Like watching Troll 2 or The Room.

Why Lisa, why?

Keep your stupid comments in your pocket!

I did not hit her, I did not, I did not

Oh Hi Mark!

Oh hi doggie

Oh Hi Lisa oh hi Denny oh hi Chris R oh hi Mark

Let's go play football in our tuxedos

The flower shop scene just about changed my life.

Please tell me you've seen the deleted scenes

The Q&A with Johnny is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen

Before I ever saw it, and just heard about it, because of my love of bad movies

My roommate and I literally called 25 different video stores before finding it at Amoeba Video in Hollywood because we couldn’t wait for it to arrive in the mail.

Yes, we’ve watched everything on that DVD at least 5 times. It is incredible. It’s the perfect storm.

I was just introduced to it a couple weeks ago

No idea how it slipped below my radar all these years. So miraculously wonderful!

I love that one of the questions in the interview is asking what the fuck is up with the tuxedo scene.

Is this The Room or Troll 2?

The Room.

This YouTube video does a great job

Of breaking down all the hilariously bad elements of The Room: Link

Troll 2 is incredible.

It’s about Harry Potter, and it doesn’t even feature trolls. What more can one ask for?

Troll 3?

Touche!

Trolling 3 starring Vin Diesel and Ice Cube as Mike Sweeney and Ken Griffey Jr. respectively would be a crackerjack film.

Nilbog.

There actually is a lesser-known Troll 3. Never seen it.

I NEED A LINK

Poochie - May 21, 2010 reply

We have the worst commercials.

MR PICKLES ARE YOU WEARING A WIRE?

OH GOD

I don't even know what that commercial is about and I've seen it hundreds of times

That’s the mark of a bad commercial.

It's a subliminal ad for state-assisted suicide

That's the mark of a good commercial.

You know, I'm not sure what it's about either.

It's about cable. It's another one of those ads implying that the people who buy the product are completely awful.

Hey, are you awful? Maybe you need Product X too!

CABLE? I wouldn't have guessed that.

I think?

I really like where this is going.

I need to see this commercial.

My genuine guess would have been anxiety medication.

So THAT's why I'm on ativan!

Kinda like WOW! THAT'S A LOW PRICE!

It’s probably the worst piece of advertising I’ve ever seen, I’ve seen it at least 200 times, and I don’t even remember which office-supply store it is for.

Teej - May 21, 2010 reply

Ooooh, good call.

That's the one, it's Staples

God fuck that commercial, they just blatantly jack up the volume and have a couple guys shout, fuck them.

Not that I ever really need anything from Staples, but they lost perhaps $20 in future business from me by creating that ad.

Teej - May 21, 2010 reply

The only Staples ad

I ever liked

I scramble for the mute button whenever I hear the first "WOW! THAT'S A LOW PRICE!"

And for some reason they think it is catchy because they have already made a couple different versions of the commercial.

Wilder. - May 21, 2010 reply

Their cable is so good you don't know what to think anymore.

Or something.

I was hoping that he would pick up Mr Pickles and throw him across the room into a wall to dislodge the wire

*i love cats and was not hoping this

The Staples commercial where they just shout for no reason also makes me want to kill someone

Especially because it is much louder than the average volume the game is at.

David Spade is "performing" there tonight.

GOD

David Spade still does stuff?

I ... guess?

I thought annoying post-ironic smirky humor was dying or dead

Guess I was wrong. But the guys in the commercial probably LOOOOOOOOOVE David Spade’s unique take on things like airplane food and unattractive women.

My soul hurts

I'm pretty sure you can still get it once a week on CBS is you're so inclined.

But I’m not sure.

Hey, that new movie coming out has him in it with Adam Sandler and friends.

I'm not sure that's a good thing

Good or bad, I'll definitely go see it.

I can’t let go of 90’s Sandler. And I love Kevin James too.

I think our movie tastes might be perfectly diametrically opposed.

I still blame him for the downfall of the Mariners :(

Huh? Why?

He did a guest spot in the booth during a game in Toronto in 2002.

The Mariners were well ahead in the division and comfortably ahead in the game. He made an ass of himself, annoyed everyone in the booth, Rizzs basically had to shove him out the door after two minutes, the Mariners blew the lead, lost the division and it was all downhill from there.

I think it was 2003. He was promoting that Dickie Roberts movie.

I remember Martin Mull was in the broadcast booth once, don’t remember what it was for though. All I remember about it was thinking “Hey, it’s that guy from Clue!”

Jaejo - May 21, 2010 reply

Martin Mull

I’d say that is the perfect amount of “famous”

Steve Pool has the perfect amount of famous, I think.

Two Rs and Two Ls - May 21, 2010 reply

That guy from Clue?!?!?

sigh.

I have no idea what this means, but by all means pile more blame on Spade!

What's wrong, Spade? Nobody love you?

FSN should be contractually obligated to immediately follow

the airing of any Snoqualmie Casino commercial with a Vern Fonk ad.

SLAP!

nickmo - May 21, 2010 reply

Two commercials that I love/hate:

Applebees: “Are you telling me thats under 550 calories?”

Enterprise: “Pickups free Mom”

I love the Canadian Enterprise ad, where it's the exact same thing, only everyone's white.

It’s like using the same commercial with the same dialogue with the same actors would’ve thrown Canadian viewers (“IS THIS AN AD FOR CARJACKING?”).

Is that why the black guy is the whitest guy ever maybe?

They should copied the Canadian version?

Intriguing theory...

They should copied?

I’m retarded. They “just” copied.

“Mooooom”

I literally can’t believe that he’s acting so ridiculous. Sometimes I think they make bad commercials on purpose so people will talk about them. How often have you ever discussed a good commercial or a decent commercial?

You could say that about pretty much everything

Matthew - May 21, 2010 reply

Never heard of either one of these

Casino marketing slogans in general are pretty stupid.

Our slogan is “Shoalwater! Experience the Thrill!”

Ugh.

Emerald Queen Casino: Believe Big

Tulalip Casino: We'll Valet Park Your Wallet

That one's actually pretty sweet. Captures the imagination.

I imagine that I would not like to see Pat Benatar

Dude she rocks.

uh

Very obscure Scrubs reference.

Sorry. I’m retarded.

Sorry I missed the reference

I liked Scrubs but this one went whooooosh

I am forever thankful that I work in the one part of the casino industry that almost requires me to never actually be on the casino floor.

So that I don’t have to listen the terrible music/comedy/karaoke acts that constantly inhibit casinos.

Surveillance?

Yeah

I worked in casino surveillance for about 6 months.

After 6 months of working as security in a SHITTY casino in Sea-Tac, it felt like working in the backrom of Freddies Club was like working as Scarlet Johansons personal massuese.

Yeah I did a 5 month stint in Security when I first started at the current place I'm working at

because I was waiting for an Observer position to come open and it was terrible. Security is the worst department to work in the casino industry because you are basically everyone’s(employees and guests) bitch.

I can honestly say that anyone that does surveillance for a long time is a special kind of person.

Sitting for at least 8 hours straight in a room by myself with nothing to do but listen to the radio and watch the casino floor. It’s like nothing else in the world.

Yep. I've always said it takes a certain kind of madness(and a certain kind of eye) to be able to be an Observer.

Sitting in a completely dark room, lit only by the monitors that basically surround you. Staring at dozens of images at once, while at the same time somehow focusing on individual things. Watching hundreds of people, but yet being totally isolated. Communicating with 75% of the employees all the time everyday, yet being forced to be clandestine to all.

I’ve been doing it for 6 years now and you’re right, it’s like nothing else in the world.

We got MC HAMMER! Top THAT Snoqualmie and maybe I actually WOULD come again.

Emerald Queen Casino: If your house has an axle, come gamble with us.

thehemogoblin - May 21, 2010 reply

Tulalip: You should probably go to the outlet mall first.

Freddie's Club Casino: The friendliest dealers in town!

Since I worked in surveillance, I was never allowed to talk to the dealers.

But they seemed like dicks.

All I can say is....

This freaking song will not get out of my head…….Snoqualmie again I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!

kinguw - May 21, 2010 reply

I could offer up some palate cleansing youtube songs but I don't want to be permabanned

There are some songs they say you should sing when you got a song stuck in your head, aren't there?

What are some examples?

Living on a Prayer always works for me. Of course, then I have Living on a Prayer stuck in my head.

well, at that point you're half way there

You'll make it, I swear.

The only problem for me is that the songs I would suggest will also get stuck in your head

but I always go with Elvis Costello’s “Mystery Dance”.

I think I've heard that if you sing like "Hey Mickey" then both songs will be out of your head.

But that sounds like the opposite of the truth. Just saying that, I have Hey Mickey stuck in my head now.

I think someone was fucking with me. Damn it. Fuck them.

I always start singing "It's A Small World" when people tell me they have a song stuck in their head

Lesson: Understand the concept of “Lesser of Two Evils”

"Know one knows what it's like to be the sad man, to be the bad man, behind blue eyes"

that's another good one

Speaking of the Who, I was thrilled when they played Won't Get Fooled Again at Safeco the other night.

Entering the bottom of the ninth while down by one run, time to rally, and the powers that be decide that a song about how you’ve been screwed over once, still had hope, were screwed again, and learned your lesson is the best song to play in that situation.

I love that song.

thebyron - May 21, 2010 reply

It's yet another reason to hate Fred Durst.

Fuck you, Fred Durst.

Eyeball Kid - May 21, 2010 reply

I have the same problem but it's an Ace of Base song that's been stuck in my head for like 16 years

Wish that was a joke =/

It might be a sign.

SHUT Up

If you'd open up your eyes we could

Life is demanding without understanding, pdb. Don't you understand how painful this condition is?

You will all rue this day

Don't worry, I'll drag you up to the light

Hugs

And massive bonus kudos for making me think of Real Genius

“Rue the day? Who talks like that?”

Real Genius!

One of the most quotable movies ever

Love that movie!

Rachmaninoff - May 21, 2010 reply

I need to watch that movie again.

it has been a very, very long time.

Or "The song that never ends"

thebyron - May 21, 2010 reply

AAAHHHHHHHH

it just goes on and on

my friend

Those people that started singing it not knowing what it was were dicks.

But they'll continue singing it forever BECAUSE they're dicks.

Robert Lintott - May 21, 2010 reply

This song works for me.

Ain’t No Sunshine

CapSea - May 21, 2010 reply

It has been years since I've heard it, but the Albert Lee jingle is intractably stuck in my head just like chewing gum in a kid's digestive tract.

Quality you can count on!
Service you can trust!
When it comes to home appliances, you can depend on us!
(orchestral score swelling)
Albert Leeeeeee Appliance CompaneeeeeEEEE!

This is going to be running through my head on my deathbed.

The old radio ad for Russ Dunmire cheverlot used to plague M's radio broadcasts.

I think they recorded it in 1955 and just kept it.
Russ Dunmire, Russ Dunmire, Russ Dunmire, boop boop.
When people try to tell me that culture’s gotten stupider and more coarse (and the WOW THAT’S A LOW PRICE ad is good evidence for the prosecution), I mention this one. And Leave it to Beaver. Get over yourself, 1950s.

Oh, god yes - that's a terrible one.

I actually think culture has gotten smarter and more coarse. Although the existence and popularity of Two and a Half Men makes me doubt that conclusion.

Exactly. I don't have a problem with coarse per se.

now i have that song stuck in my head

AHHHHHHHH productivity is going down. Plus I just found out you can play pac man if you go to google

kinguw - May 21, 2010 reply

actually....they are melding into one sick combination

with we come again….albert lee appliance company…..

kinguw - May 21, 2010 reply

We come again...

A song more apt for a whore house than a casino.

thehemogoblin - May 21, 2010 reply

Anybody remember the Silver Dollar Casino ads from a long time ago?

Irritating.

nickmo - May 21, 2010 reply

The taste of the tropics?

Best (worst?) part of those commercials...

One of the top managers at Silver Dollar was in the TV commercials, and just a year or two ago he was the main character on Intervention for heroin addiction.

Pretty sad, actually.

Shut the hell up! (In a good way)

That’s funny. Now I will resist going off on all the crazy Intervention episodes. Must go back to OT thread.

GREAT NOW I HAVE THAT FUCKING SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD ARRRRRRGH

Here’s a legitimately great song to get ride of anybody’s earworms. Seriously, not ironically.

Punk just doesn't get stuck in my head for some reason.

Eyeball Kid - May 21, 2010 reply

Doesn't mean it's not a great song though!

And this song, much unlike the other earworm-killing songs I could mention, doesn’t as you say stick in the head – which makes it a perfect ear cleanser. Plus it’s Superchunk which is awesome by default.

MUTE MUTE MUTE MUTE MUTE

(relieved sigh)

Jeremariner - May 21, 2010 reply

I would step on a cat to get to the remote to mute that goddamn commercial.

Snoqualmie Casino hurts animals.

Jeremariner - May 21, 2010 reply

Thank Christ for DVR's

but my naughty secret is that I stop ffw’ing just to watch that Arayan chump fist pump.

Burnside Brian - May 21, 2010 reply

Every commercial on FSNW is terrible

I live in the Bay Area and when Comcast took over Fox Sports Bay Area, everything about the channel improved, especially the commercials. Gone was the corny local shit replaced by high production shit that felt professional. I have a feeling if that happened to us, we’d still be stuck with this piece of shit commercial.

OceanBird - May 21, 2010 reply

Maybe I'm on my own here, but...

Living in Florida I never saw, or at least remember seeing, commercials for casinos in the area. A Hard Rock Casino opened up my junior year of high school and while I heard radio ads for it, I don’t recall seeing a TV spot for it. Maybe this is just something else up here that happens in the PacNW that doesn’t in other places of the country.

Not a lot of casions in Florida? How could that be???

Matthew - May 21, 2010 reply

Man, I don't know, but they sure are sad about it

Hard Rock casino is owned by the Seminoles, who have a few others as well.

Just think the laws were different in Flo., as when I was in high school here there were no Indian casinos to speak of.

And in college we got to study one of the most expensive initiative campaigns in history, related to Calif. tribal gaming...

I know that it's owned by the Seminole tribe(s), as are most of them down there

But the different laws on how they’re regulated allows for advertising on TV here.

It's annoying, but it still beats the Scruff McGruff radio ad on 710

Matthew - May 21, 2010 reply

The one with the annoying kid?

BrianL - May 21, 2010 reply

710 has several really annoying ads they loop seemingly every break

-That Scruff McGruff one
-Safelite Auto Glass
-The smug one with the small business owner who leaves his presentation in the cab
-Anything with the Schucks O’Reilley jingle
-Muckleshoot commercials with “All Star” by Smashmouth

I know I’m missing a few, but I have no problem boycotting any company, product, service or charity with annoying commercials.

Either way though, as long as the bills are paid I'm sure 710 could care less how annoying they are

However, the ads are doing their job in getting people to remember what they’re for, whether it’s for the good of bad is different though