Lookout Landing

6:57: WE COME AGAIN

7:01: Blowers says he doesn't buy into the angle that Wak getting tossed motivated the team to come back. Good. Blowers says he thinks they won because of Griffey. Bad. Or, technically true, but not the way Blowers meant it.

7:06: Same Mariner lineup. I wonder if the Padres would be willing to trade David Eckstein for Jose Lopez just for this series. That would probably make things worse, but it would make them funny-worse. It's important to maximize the funny-worse.

7:07: This series is either going to feature 6 runs, or 60 runs.

7:09: SMILE SMILE SNOQUALMIE AGAIN

7:12: Will Venable is the son of Major League veteran Max Venable. Venable sounds like a flattering adjective, so Max Venable sounds like a Bill & Ted character assessment.

7:12: That Princeton education didn't teach Will Venable to not FUCKIN SUCK YEAHH

7:14: I love how the Padres' unexpected success has forced like every contender in the league to re-evaluate their in-season trade plans. That's bad news for Kyle Blanks, though, which is kind of also bad news for me, because Kyle Blanks is an adorable giant.

7:17: Wak comes out with the lineup card to ask the umpires some questions. No idea. Nothing happened. It would be funny if he drew L's next to all of San Diego's right-handed hitters. "But it says Nick Hundley should be batting left-handed!" "Sorry Nick, you gotta turn around. It's on the card."

7:19: We're losing, by the way. Cliff Lee is pitching against the Padres, and it's the top of the first, and we're losing. On the plus side, I'm eating soup. Or maybe it's chili. There's a weird in-between there, and whatever I'm eating falls right in the middle. But boy it sure is delicious, this soup. Or chili.

7:21: Soup + chili = silly

7:22: San Diego DH Oscar Salazar has a .235 wOBA, which makes him as good as our DH position.

7:23: A single for Salazar means he's better than our DH position.

7:27: It would be funny if Tim Welke kept Smirnoff in his ball pouch so he could Ice the catchers.

7:29: It's so cold you can see everyone's breath. And Mike Sweeney's stink lines. That's weird.

7:30: PRINCETON DIDN'T TEACH WILL VENABLE TO CATCH WITH TWO HANDS

7:32: A single for Mike Sweeney means our DH position is back to being better than Oscar Salazar.

7:33: In all seriousness, you have to root for Wade LeBlanc. It's one thing for an 87mph lefty to make it in the minors. It's quite another for an 87mph lefty to miss bats and pitch effectively in the bigs. Yeah, he has a low ceiling. So what? We root for athletes because they do spectacular things that we never could, and the fact that Wade LeBlanc doesn't have an ERA of 20 with that kind of repertoire is spectacular indeed.

7:37: Cliff Lee has thrown 24 strikes. The Padres have swung at 20 of them.

7:39: Fans can't stand the way announcers are always drooling all over David Eckstein's determination and hustle, but think what it must be like for David Eckstein. Every single compliment he receives is preceded with "While he doesn't look like much" or "Even though he's a lil shit." Imagine if every single compliment you ever got was preceded with some remark about your unimpressive physique. If David Eckstein blows up a hospital someday, I'll get it.

7:42: Bradley singles on a grounder that takes a funny bounce off the third base bag. The bag said something racist. Now Bradley's smiling and laughing with Adrian Gonzalez, undoubtedly reminiscing about the good ol days when Milton got in that argument with an umpire and got his knee fucked up by his own coach. Good times.

7:44: A bomb that David Eckstein built would shoot out foam snakes.

7:47: Fan wearing a Reds hat behind the first base dugout. "I want people to know I like sports."

7:49: The last time I liveblogged, we were 11-11 and Cliff Lee was just coming back. We've gone 4-15 since. If we go 4-15 again after this one, I"ll never want to do it again, but I'll also always want to do it again.

7:50: Win expectancy is 52% after that walk, by the way, even though we're down 2-0. Loaded up with nobody out for Josh Wilson. He should squat. We'll see if LeBlanc can throw strikes to a guy squatting.

7:51: On the board! Josh Wilson goes opposite-field for a single, as he was behind on an 86mph fastball. In Wilson's defense, that's way faster than the stuff he saw in tee ball a few weeks ago.

7:52: M's and Padres on pace for 37 runs tonight. See 7:07pm. Way to underestimate, Jeff.

7:54: And we've got action in the bullpen. Warming up is some no-name with a 4:1 K/BB, which describes every Padre reliever.

7:58: The Rays scored 18 runs in a two-game road sweep of the Yankees. Tonight they scored one run in a loss to the Astros. The National League has caught up. Save us, Giant Walking Banana!

7:59: A message just popped up on the screen that a VCR recording of Bring It On is about to begin. We don't own a VCR.

8:01: Mike Sweeney and our DH position just left Oscar Salazar in the dust. That homer gives a nice idea of why Mike Sweeney still has a job. It's not just his personality. He is legitimately strong. He makes good contact and hits the ball hard. He was out ahead of that low 74mph curve and he still blasted it 410 feet. He can't field, and his eye sucks, and he gets hurt all the time, but Mike Sweeney is not a weak hitter.

8:03: We own the Padres.

8:05: Seeing as the Padres are my bandwagon team and the Mariners are kind of fucked, this actually both feels good and hurts a little.

8:06: "And coasting into second base is that little gnat." David Eckstein is gonna fuck you up, Niehaus.

8:09: Adrian Gonzalez has a career .394 wOBA and 41% extra-base hit rate going to left field. He might be the best opposite-field hitter I've ever seen.

8:11: Casey Kotchman just got four feet of air trying to catch a wild throw by Jose Lopez. That's half a Blanks, or three Figginses.

8:16: Cliff Lee threw the perfect at bat to Jerry Hairston Jr., who was really pissed off that he struck out. Some guys are just lost without their brothers. Incidentally, Scott Hairston being on the DL is why Salazar is DH'ing, which costs the Padres like four runs a game.

8:21: Josh Bard could not possibly be doing a better job of winning people over. Only a handful of games, but I guarantee that any sour taste left by his miserable spring training has been cleansed away by so many cucumbers. And by cucumbers here I mean line drives and that home run.

8:23: Josh Bard has a beak like an eagle, and he's bald. Josh Bard is a bald eagle.

8:23: Girlfriend sitting on the couch: "God you really do look like Cliff Lee." This is why she's my girlfriend.

8:24: Girlfriend sitting on the couch: "So Mike Sweeney hit that home run earlier? He used to be a power hitter but then he got fat, right?" I don't know how to answer this. "Wrong half of the DH, honey."

8:27: Lee throws an inside fastball in the dirt. Bard keeps it in the glove. Five-year contract. From some angles,by the way, Chris Denorfia looks like Steve Finley, which is not a compliment.

8:30: Will Venable has a groundout, two strikeouts, and a dropped fly ball. It's the fourth inning. Princeton is going to revoke his degree on account of giving a bad name to Princeton athletics.

8:32: Bradley catches the last out of the inning, flips the ball into the bleachers, and makes sure the fan makes the catch before he turns and runs to the dugout. Milton cares. It's the little things.

8:35: And LeBlanc's out of the game after three innings. His replacement, Cesar Ramos, is a lefty who works in the high-80s/low-90s and throws a mix of four pitches. Cesar Ramos is Wade LeBlanc if Wade LeBlanc were a reliever. This'll go well.

8:39: Another dinger. Nobody came forward for Mike Sweeney to fight in the clubhouse, so instead he's decided to beat up my words.

8:42: Bradley collects Seattle's ninth hit, to go with a couple walks. We have ten runs. It's the fourth inning. We're playing against what's been one of the best run prevention units in baseball. Now we have an interesting dilemma: who gets credit for the turnaround? Is it Wak, for showing some fire and getting ejected? Is it Griffey, for coming off the bench for a walk-off single? Is it some mega super hybrid of the two? If it's the mega super hybrid of the two, I don't think we're ever going to lose. I credit the turnaround to the return of the Rally Fries.

8:47: Another line drive for Josh Bard. This is unbelievable. Granted, Chris Denorfia misplayed that ball something terrible, but you can probably go ahead and give Bard the key to the city. Somewhere, Rob Johnson tries to cut himself but keeps dropping the razor.

8:52: 13. We scored 12 runs in eight games between April 30th and May 8th. 13. Four innings. Mike Sweeney.

8:54: Anyone else notice Bard kind of gimping it around third base last inning? I hope he's always run funny, because if he's hurt I will literally kill myself.

8:59:

9:02: Building To The Future: Kyle Seager. He has pimples in his photo.

9:03: Adrian Gonzalez: 3-3, 3 doubles. Everybody else: 5-21, 1 double, 5 strikeouts. Pitchers: 4 IP, 13 runs. This is the season everyone thought the Padres were going to have, in one game.

9:05: It's 13-4 in the bottom of the fifth and Chone Figgins just worked a ten-pitch at bat before picking up an infield single. You know who's annoyed? The Padres. This next pitch should probably go at Guti's back.

9:07: And Ramos leaves with none out in the fifth, responsible for two runners on base. Padres bring in some no-name righty with a 7:1 K/BB. What a fascinating bullpen.

9:10: Before tonight, the Mariners had batted .229/.307/.296 against lefties over 420 trips to the plate.

9:11: Another hit for Sweeney. 4-4. A couple weeks ago, his OPS was .445. A few days ago, his OPS was .787. Earlier today, his OPS was .715. Right now, his OPS is .905. Amazing what can happen when a guy's only come to bat 64 times. It's almost like there's wild fluctuation over small samples.

9:15: I didn't even notice that Jose Lopez popped out in between Sweeney and Bradley's singles. Everybody has a hit and a run scored except for the 0-4 Jose Lopez, whose OPS has dropped to .506. He's been kind of flying under the radar for a while now, as almost everybody else was struggling too, but getting completely left out of tonight's explosion is going to start inching him towards the spotlight. Because what we really need is for Jose Lopez to start pressing.

9:19: It's 15-4

9:21: They say hitting is contagious. The expression doesn't make any sense, when you really think about it, but nights like tonight make it tough to argue against. Everybody said the M's were just waiting to take all their anger out on somebody. There's no reason for that to have been true, but, here we are.

9:24: And Jerry Hairston Jr. gets tossed for arguing another strikeout. He got some borderline strikes called against him, but nothing obscene. Fiery argument, though. Screamed and drew a line and put his fingers in the ump's face and everything. Hairston's batting .225 with zero home runs, so you wonder if things are just boiling over. That was as mad as I've seen a guy get in years, although in my defense i mostly just watch the Mariners.

9:29: Are fiery ejections only inspiring when they come from the manager? What're the rules here?

9:33: Bottom six: groundout, strikeout, strikeout. I wonder if it's possible for the M's to have this game and still leave me feeling pessimistic. Come on guys, it's Adam Russell!

9:36: Third strikeout for Venable. Don't really care that he reached on a wild pitch. Will Venable got his Princeton B.A. in anthropology. He should've majored in Anthropologie because THAT'S WHERE HE'S GONNA BE WORKING NEXT WEEK BITCHES

9:37: David Eckstein has one more home run and six more doubles than Ken Griffey Jr.

9:38: Adrian Gonzalez comes up and Milton Bradley shifts all the way over to the foul line. Then he and Gonzalez bust up laughing. Gonzalez proceeds to single through the hole between short and third base. 4-4, with four hits the other way. If Adrian Gonzalez ever pulled the ball it might go 900 feet.

9:40: Sac fly for Chase Headley on Cliff Lee's 114th pitch. It's 15-5. Lee is still in.

9:45: And a Nick Hundley ground-rule double chases Lee after pitch #115. Lee has allowed six runs in 6.1 innings, and he's bequeathed two more runners on base. He leaves to a standing ovation. Everything's relative. The Mariners came in 0-12 in games in which their pitchers allowed six runs or more.

9:46: And the Padres were 9-1 when they scored at least six runs. Of course I probably shouldn't treat this one like it's over yet. Two-run single for Salazar, as he refuses to let Mike Sweeney have the last word.

9:49: Book's closed on Cliff Lee. One of the stranger lines you'll ever see:

6.1 IP, 11 H, 8 R, 0 BB, 7 K

It really does tell the story. Lee threw a lot of strikes - 81, out of 115 pitches - and he missed 14 bats. The ability was there. But when the Padres squared him up, they squared him up, to the tune of eight line drives. It was a feast or famine game of sorts, and sometimes those happen. Doubt Lee's really going to mind all those runs given all his support. Nobody likes to see their starter allow eight runs in a game, but there is absolutely nothing to worry about here as far as Lee's concerned. This was just a random, mediocre outing, and a random, mediocre outing for Cliff Lee still featured a K/BB of 7:0.

9:53: And the Rally Fries have officially been handed out. In case you missed it, we've already scored 15 runs. We could at least just call them Attention Potatoes.

9:55: Strikeout for Sweeney. I think this means Salazar wins.

9:58: Deep fly out to left for Lopez on a terrible hanging slider. 5-10 feet short of a homer. It's something. God, this is pathetic.

9:59: WE COME AGAIN

10:03: Fourth strikeout for Venable. One groundout, four strikeouts, and a dropped fly ball. The funny thing is I like Will Venable. But I also like the baristas at Starbucks, and I think I might rather watch one of them hit.

10:04: Willie Bloomquist has a life-size poster of David Eckstein on his wall.

10:05: Printed on a sheet of 8.5x11 photo paper.

10:09: Now I'm watching Blackhawks/Sharks highlights. lol sharks

10:12: One more home run. One more home run would really do it for me.

10:16: Seriously, Chelsea Dagger is the most perfect goal song I could ever imagine. This is old news to hockey fans, but if you didn't already know, consider your life enriched. Just the right blend of energetic, obnoxious, and singable.

10:18: I did not know that Stihl is the #1-selling brand of chainsaws worldwide.

10:23: Oh, right, the ninth inning!

10:24: We did it! Only 8.5 back of the Rangers!

10:33:

 
David Eckstein is a little man with a little heart. A perilously little heart, that doesn't pump enough oxygen. He is dying.

10:38: It's not a game that means a whole lot. At all, really. We gained on the Angels, who saw Joel Pineiro get blown out by his old team, but we didn't gain on the A's, and, more importantly, we didn't gain on the Rangers. Overall, this game didn't do much of anything for our playoff odds. It was a blowout win that barely made a difference.

But, sweet baby Jesus, that was a lot of fun. For about five innings, anyway, until the point at which blowouts tend to get boring. The 15 runs represent a tenth of all the runs this team has scored all season, and the lineup posted them in impressive, legitimate fashion. Three doubles. Three homers. Four walks. This isn't a game that accomplishes much in the standings, but it accomplishes a whole hell of a lot as far as the players, the coaches, and the fans are concerned. Everyone's been waiting for this breakout, and as more and more time passed, many were beginning to wonder if it would ever come. It came, and it came in a hurry.

For the team, the pressure comes off. Not all of the pressure - they're still 16-26, which is bad - but for at least a little while, the weight's been lifted. And for the fans, it's a relief. It's a relief for everyone, but for us, it's nice to know that the lineup is capable of this kind of eruption. Over the last several weeks, whenever the M's fell behind by a run or two, we had a tendency to give up. This is the kind of game that'll help us keep a little more faith. We can score runs. Sometimes. It isn't completely hopeless.

Many kudos to Josh Bard and, especially, Mike Sweeney as the players of the day. Bard has established himself as the should-be starting catcher, and Sweeney - I don't have anything new to say on Sweeney. Griffey's about hopeless. When Sweeney hits the ball, he can be impressive. He crushed his home runs today. No matter how you feel about Sweeney and the team's roster construction, never lose sight of the fact that Sweeney didn't even know if he'd be playing this year. He was a long-shot in ST, and now it's the middle of May and he's sporting an .890 OPS with the team lead in home runs. Mike Sweeney has been an incredible story. Maybe not the story a lot of us were eager to see, but an incredible story nonetheless.

Fun game. Sad to do it to the Padres, but it's nice to maintain the familiar balance of power. Uppity Padres. You know your place.