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Lookout Landing

5/29: Open Game Thread, Part 2

Photo

Harry How - Getty Images

Look Reggie, with Torii out, we're gonna need you to fill some big shoes.

4 recs  |  1166 comments

Comments

Felix has thrown 69 pitches
Death to Flying Angels
That is a really cute picture.
Reggie Willits is also the ballboy
We're so going to win this shit
How tall is Izturis?
If we win 1-0 this will be my favorit win all year.
And Tui would be a hero.
I am still laughing at that caption.
Ha.

Miilton strike.

Now that was a bad call
"I wanna warn you about this video, it's very graphic"

Perhaps issue your warning prior to the video.

That wouldn't be very FOX of them
"The necrophilia would look something like this."

Hold up sign.
“Now we probably shouldn’t show you this.

A-rod does anything he can to be center of attention
Yeah he intentionally did that to get attention, of course.
I bet the line drive to the head has a high safety percentage.

It seems like people aren’t taking advantage of this enough.

I'm going to warn you, this video is graphic

ANDTHEGRAPHICPARTISRIGHTNOW!

There's not even sex
Fox wouldn't consider that graphic
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
What the fuck is wrong with this strike zone?
That strikeout pitch was worse than the pitch before it
Its a lumpy bumpy strike zone

Just like the girls in Texas

Boosh!

and/or ka-kow!

More comments like this one and you'll be Finnished.
Abreu has fallen behind 0-2 in all three of his at-bats.

The frustration finally got to him.

This ump is an incosistent fuckface
God he is so awful. YOU ARE SO BAD AT YOUR JOB!!!!!!!!!
He probably just figures people will be too angry at the broadcasters to notice.
I'm watching on mute so my anger has fewer places to focus on.
The King is feeling it now
Four strike strikeout!
Wow call strikes better
FELIX SICKNESS
Strike 4 on Abreu!
There have been

quite a few 4 strike strikeouts today

Screw you, Willits.
And he never will
hit a homerun that is
Aw Reggie
The part of you that wanted him to get his first dinger should be drowned in a bathtub

A really shallow bathtub

Sometimes there are things more entertaining than wins
I do not find Angels succeeding entertaining, ever
Reggie Willits is more than an Angel
He's the littlest Angel
That was as far as Willits has ever hit a ball, ever.
And farther than Griffey has hit one all year.
Does he have the same power as Figgins?
At this point, I wouldn't bet against it.
I would bet Figgins ends with more home runs than Griffey.
Or the same amount
So zero for both of them?
Willits tried to hit a homerun.

That was cute.

"He has never hit a homerun". Right on cue.
Felix has only missed three bats today
He has not been too sharp
20 called strikes. He is befuddling them with strikes
I wonder if the hilarious strike zone is in some convoluted way working to the pitchers' benefit!
Regression towards good luck!
I love this pig.
That pig is awesome
Time for Milton to get tossed.
For what?
Screaming at this incompetent analrapist

behind the plate.

No, it's rim job time.
So if Milton is so much better batting from the RH side...

Why doesn’t he just bat righty?

Am I a bad Mariners fan if this game is boring the crap out of me?
Nope.

Fox’s broadcast isn’t making it any easier.

No, this is a boring fucking game.
Considering the broadcast crew, no
O-DOG!
2-1 lead Twins
2-2 Tie
Crap, I forgot about the second run.
No. Weaver was never Stephen Strasburg.
That's what I thought when I heard it.
No, Jered Weaver was not Stephen Strasburg
I hear that!
I remember though when he came up everyone was crazy about him.
Did he really just say that Weaver was Strasburg a few years ago?

Really?

Well to be fair

they do have similar facial hair.

Oh cmon Milton
Milton had to swing at it.

The umpire called it a strike just 4 pitches earlier.

Milton getting the special strike zone again.

Fuck you umpire.

They just try to rile him up.
Okay Loafie is encouraging.
Why were they playing Jose so deep to RF?
I will pay someone my entire fortune to murder the fox announcers.
How much you got?
Does it matter?
17 dollars.
They go on-and-on about worthless shit that nobody cares about
This zone is amazing
You didn't need to dive you show off
Holy shit Angels Stadium is a terrible location in the worst

major city in America filled with the worst people spawned my planet earth. Quit talking about it.

I grew up near there

and you are so right.

Reggie! Reggie! Reggie!
Willits that bitch!
I hate you Willis
Tui should've struck out a long time ago
Fuck you Reggie
That was the stupidest looking dive ever.
I really liked the old Big A

The new version has about as much character as a Wal-Mart

I liked it when I was a child
You had only Jack Murphy to compare it against
And the shitty ass Fenway
A-ha

And I was a kid when I went to the old Big A, so its all childlike wonderment.

All three balls this at bat have been strikes.
How the fuck did Willits know where to play Tui?
Awww...so cute.
Yay Reggie!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
ESPN/Fox same sell out bullshit
WHY ARE THEY SHOWING THE CARDINALS/CUBS IN SOCAL?

Dammit.

Same sell out bullshit?

They need to be more indie?

Reporting shit that will only get ratings aka skrillz.
You can't blame them for wanting ratings.
That is blatantly untrue
Reporting "shit" that would get ratings is smart.
It makes money.

But angers fans who don’t live in LA, NYC, Boston or Chicago. And makes me blow the wad on special cable packages.

ESPN MLB's top story right now is about CJ Wilson
The second story features the Florida Marlins
Even Marlins fans don't care about the Marlins
Exactly.

MLB network is good. ESPN, not so much. Thus we have to give in and pay more to get good coverage.

Lordy loo

http://espn.go.com/mlb/

Im speaking of TV.

Even Gammons sees the errors of ESPN’s ways. He said he was retiring, then two days later went to MLB network.

No, he said he was leaving ESPN.

He never said he was retiring

Okay, but nonetheless jumped ship.
That's true.

I don’t like ESPN’s over coverage of the east coast either, but it could be worse. They do a good job of covering most of the key things.

LA, NY, Boston and Chicago have a lot of fans who don't live in those cities.

Hence, they’re very popular teams. It makes sense for a network to cover popular subjects.

Yeah espn and fox do tend to latch on to teams for a while

But seems to me it all has to do with winning, star players, etc.

I don’t really follow the NBA anymore, but I remember being so fucking sick of hearing about the Pistons and the Spurs.

They’re just reporting what’s the most popular at the moment.

The Mariners were all over ESPN from 2000-2003.
Yeah, especially 2001

I mean the name “Ichiro” was constantly being drilled into everyone’s head 24/7. If I wasn’t a Mariners fan that would annoy the hell out of me.

ESPN would not shut about the Seahawks when Pete Carroll was hired.
I'm sure it had more to do with Pete Carroll than the Seahawks.
ESPN has a raging hard on for the city of Seattle
And safeco

It’s pretty much mandatory to mention how much they love Safeco every time we play at home.

Seattle needs some love after all that's happened over the past couple years.
Thats a product of their jerking the USC cock.

…..and Duke. According to ESPN the Pac 10 didn’t have a football season this year.

Just stop.

Seriously.

I wonder if any doctor has ever actually used that gesture when talking about prostate issues
I enjoy how this game is so boring

people are commenting about the commercials.

I'm going to call it "the Inverse Fister"
Avodart can cause tenderness of the breasts

The male breasts

This may be useful for some.
My third favorite!
Why is Reggie Willits in the stands?
Oi Morales scares me.
I hate that baby.
3 pitch K!

Love it!

Wow Morales just got raped
So the entire Phillies team is starting the All Star game
I predict an AL shutout
Phillies vs. New York Red Sox

I’ll be sure to tune in for that one…

They don't care about you
The feeling is mutual.
The New York Red Sox must have the most goddamn awful fucking fans in the world
The accents can be grating at times.
Morales got whooped
Holy shit. Don't make Felix angry. You won't like him when he's angry.
Matsui is timely.
On the bright side, no Snoqualmie!
But we have Ford pickup commercial instead
Matsui is so Anti-Clutch.
Nice single moonface.
Double play.
Who's house?

Katal’s house.

Pimp shit house.
I don't know who house is
Someone shoot me
Nah torture comes first
He's a TV doctor.
Thank you for your order, have a nice day!
Oh, man, you called it.
How many SS for Felix?
Four
I know this is an annoying question, but where do you find this info? Don't see it on Fangraphs.
I keep track during the game
You're a witch!
A witch that can count better than Jeff can
Ooh
No, Jeff. Four. Fooooooooouuuurrrrr.

Sound it out with me.

WA. WA. WAATER.
This seems a bit low, eh?
Shouldn't you be focusing on the game, Michael?
Tui, figgy, lopey, wilsony!
That works.
Erik Aybar should be forcet to watch that over and over.
Hey! That was un-Aybaresque!
,Holy crap i can mobile rec for real!
Really?

Imma test that.

No can do with the droid

Got a little excited there for a second.

I did that from a droid.

I just opened up the regular (i.e. non-mobile) Lookout Landing page, and it auto-updated and let me rec and flag. It took a while to load, though. I guess that’s why it didn’t say “via mobile”.

Josh Wilson is CLEARLY the utility guy when Jack comes back.

I wouldn’t mind him playing twice a week.

Can he play 3rd?
He can play short therefore he can play third
That makes sense
He can't be worse than Tui.
So Howie Kendrick is 26 and worse
I thought he had matured and was posting a better BABIP
And still confusingly black.
Kendrick, Wood and McPherson make me feel a lot better about our collection of top pitching prospects who never panned out.
Time to score runs.
TEX and MIN

Tied 2-2 in the top of the seventh

Lefties sure don't get much up and in

Not when pitchers get lefty strikes frequently.
Could someone be a dear and give pitch counts?
You talk like my grandmother!
I think Fox was watching this thread
Worst strikezone since Eric Gregg.
No politics, Fox.
Both Felix and Weaver cannot give their teams the edge.

At most, one team can have the edge. Weaver has not given the Angels the edge, since they do not have it. If, hypothetically, the did have the edge, then Felix could not have given the Mariners the edge, since they would not have it.

Maybe they are on a square, so there are four possible edges.
This is a double-edged sword
A single-edged sword seems stupid
A single-edged sword is an ax
Or a Katana? A Scimitar?

A Foil has no edge. A

rapier also has no edge.
Do you have any useful info on coal and trains?
The United States produces about 20%, or 1.1 billion tons, of the world's coal supply—second only to China.

Coal generates about half of the electricity used in the United States.

The United States has about a 245-year supply of coal, if it continues using coal at the same rate at which it uses coal today.

The average coal miner is 50 years old and has 20 years of experience.

Coal ash, a byproduct of coal combustion, is used as filler for tennis rackets, golf balls, and linoleum.

Each person in the United States uses 3.8 tons of coal each year.

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches.

The earliest railway in Great Britain was built between October 1603 and October 1604.

The steepest Cogwheel railway in the world is in Switzerland. It has a gradient of 48%.

The highest railway station in the world is at Condor in Bolivia. It is an altitude of 4,787 metres which is three and a half times higher than Great Britain’s tallest mountain.

Every time a Virgin Pendolino train brakes they return 17 percent of electricity used back to the National Grid – enough to provide power for 11,825 homes for a year or to brew 2.6 billion cups of tea.

Around 70% of train journeys taken in Great Britain either start or finish in London.

BONUS TRAIN-VOLCANO COMBO!
The only railway to go to the top of a volcano was built on Mount Vesuvius in Italy, in 1880.

I didn't know it was pointless trivia day today.
Samurai are stupid then?
How many of them are still around?
What about pirates. Or Calvary!
No religion
Tom Cruise is the last one.
Really cuz I heard his sword cuts both ways
A single-edged sword cannot exist in three dimensions
But I just drew one!
I think this is the worst-announced game I've ever seen.
Catch a few White Sox games and see what you think
Non-Hawk division.
You've never watched a White Sox game.
I have, sadly.

I must have put some sort of mental block on it.

I wonder if the A on the mound is for Adenhart
That would explain the halo
Because he is dead
Now it's for your hero, The Little Reggie Willits That Almost Could
Bone him?
Gay
Necrogay
Necromosexual?
Are you judging or agreeing?
Shockingly, this is a Swedish death metal band.
I don't find that shocking
I'm a little surprised it isn't Norwegian
But no, not shocked
Ironically shocking.

Not ironically bad

I wish Rob Johnson would die

I think he would be more useful as a symbol for the team to rally around than as an actual player

Mike Sweeney could adopt his children!
NEWS FLASH!

ROB JOHNSON IS BAD.

Maybe Saunders should play more so he doesn't look so unready to hit when he actually does play
Saunders looks lost against Weaver.
Weaver was getting everything earlier.

Now he can’t get anything.

God, I hate Jarrod Weaver.
Do you hate Jared Weaver as well?
Dammit...

*Jered.

Who?
I hate him too much to bother spelling his name correctly.
So did his parents.
Is he ambidextrous?
How's Jered Washburn treat you though?
Both Saunders and Bradley have looked terrible today

Griffey will probably be in the lineup tomorrow

Way to be a downer, man
Umm, lefty.
Sadly, this probably doesn't mean much.
What is your point
That Wak has played the handedness advantage in every single game this year.
Tui is starting at first today against a RHP
Or are you just referring to LF/DH?
Twins Rally!
Gogogogogogogogogo
My parents are at that game sitting next to a Canadian Angels fan

both rooting against the Rangers! Woo Twins!

So we kinda got owned today.
That "Just for Men" commercial... is it implying that buying it = sex?
How misleading!
Implying? Hardly.
Key message in that commercial:

If you want to avoid old age, jump out a window!

That would probably work most the time
depends on how high the window is.

for best results, go over three stories.

How did he get back up there with the milk and just for men anyway?
He askedt the most interesting man in the world for help.
Right after he asked him.
I don't think that's what irony is
The Fox broadcast team is starting to approach the WWE's commentators as far as inability to understand irony.
I'm not sure anyone understands irony anymore.

Or tragedy

When the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning.
When something is sad.
No!
When something sad happens from something that was completely avoidable?
I would say unavoidable
But Romeo and Juliet could have not drank that fucking poison like a couple of

tweaked out goths.

Ehh, it depends.

If Romeo and Juliet didn’t want to bone so much, they would have been fine.

Irony is what happened to Gus Grissom

Came back from space, capsule hatch possibly malfunctioned, capsule sinks after landing in ocean.

So they fix the hatches to prevent this from happening in the future. A few years layer, Grissom dies in the Apollo 1 fire cause they couldn’t open the hatch in time.

Yeah but like 1% of the WWE audience knows what irony is anyway
And even fewer do it to their clothes.

(Hang head).

Kanekoa is growing a mustache for as long as the winning streak lasts.

Must. Win.

There is the Felix that we all know and love.
I wonder if the Angels fans are getting pissed when the broadcasters are talking about how well Vlad has done
Yes, sort of like how we're pissed off with Silva. Except many Angels fans didn't want to see Vlad go.
Felix remembers that there's a crown on his head
Nice job Tui.
TUI!!!

DEFENSE!!!

Lined out to Tui.

Huh

That was Tuis best kotchman impersonation
I hope he put on an awesome diveface
Next up: A steely eyed groundout.
Felix going for the shutout!
Jeeze, I hate using the word "bitch", but seriously Girl Blaming Her Co-Worker In Front of Their Boss...
Hahah yea, I bet she has a hitler stash.
Hitler should be capitalized
Not if he's deliberately trying to indicate how little respect he has for the guy.
Not if he's deliberately trying to indicate how little respect he has for the guy.
Unless LeftArrow meant a stash of hitler's
Score Runs

Please.

PLEASE RUNS!
Matsui is winning this in the ninth
I think Reggie Willits will hit a walk-off homerun
Willits is up in the eighth
Fuck future Jeff.
We picked up Kazuo?

I’m glad. Can never have too much Wilson insurance.

Another Rangers bullpen kablooey.
Technically, that was mostly the starter.
CJ Wilson is a starter
"JJ Hardy singles on a pop up to shortstop Elvis Andrus. Jason Kubel scores. Delmon Young scores."

Buh?

Insurance pleasepleaseplease
Wait, the Angels got another Francisco Rodriguez?
He pitched yesterday too.
they cloned the oringinal 4 times
This one is fatter.
This one is bad
This one doesn't have a silly windup.
Kotchman makes that play too and does it without being a lil bitch
What did taking Torii out do to the WE%
"I don't know if monkeys go into hibernation or some sort of sleep pattern."

Ow, my brain.

That was wonderfully incoherent, wasn't it?
So....give us a make-up call, blue.
If Willits was safe earlier, Ichiro was definitely safe there
Kobe!
Osaka!

Wait, what are we playing?

I was talking about the Chone Figgins out
The biggest reason to hate bunting for a base hit is that it almost never works and makes the pitcher throw only one pitch.

Holy crap that shit is so annoying.

Balls coming out of the runner?
Of course Carlos Silva is making history.
He is?
Well I suppose technically speaking we're all making history

but I was referring to him being the 1st Cub starter to go 7-0 since 1934.

To make it clear:

People are making fun of you because this has been brought up about five times in today’s gamethreads despite its complete lack of relevance.

Oh, well thanks.

Perhaps I will scan the thread in the future to make sure I’m not rehashing old material, and of course reference our LL relevance guides to not step on any toes.

1-0 victories are one of my favorite things in baseball.
Except this 1-0 game is dragging on longer than usual.
Huh?

It started at 1. It’s one pace to be less than three hours long.

But longer than 2 hours.
"Angels lead 1-0" says Karros
These announcers are more dead then Dennis Hopper.
Whatchu talkin' about CapSea?
Let's drop some knowledge in this GT right here.
The Angel's bats are as slow as BP's efforts to clean up their oil mess.
The Mariners are about to have a Haitian earthquake of a rally next half inning.
Hopefully the Angels won't follow that home run up with a bad sequel like Shrek Forever After
Must hold on....
I would like to live near Thomas Haden Church
Is that near Snoqualmie Casino?
I am uncomfortable with how comfortable I feel about a 1-0 lead over ANA
I am uncomfortable enough for the two of us.
I strangely understand what you are saying
Your comfortableness makes me slightly more comfortable

but I feel pretty uncertain overall.

Comfortableness?

Comfort?

Yeah.

That’s why.

Plows through their entire lineup

and gets destroyed by one pitch.

I know what they're trying to do with these Denny's commercials, but they're failing.
Huh, Athletics could pass the Rangers today.
And Anderson is back
And Sheets is starting to do well.
Sooooo

Felix CG anyone?

Clearly the reason we are beating the Angels is their lack of Chone Figgins.
Maicer Izturis is really weird looking.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Darnabbit.
Who said something about 1-0 wins?!
Knew the instant he hit it
FUCK FUCK FUCK
Oh fucking hell.
FUCKIN ABREU
FUCK FUCK FUCKITYFUCKFUCK
Well, that changed in a hurry.
AH HOLY FUCK NO!!!
Fuck that
That makes sense.
Zombie Nation

My ears are bleeding

FUCK YOU! YOU FAT FUCK
I'm so sorry Felix
Yeah of course that happened..
Of fucking course.
Yeah, I'm not watching this go to extra innings
They play the same crappy song we do!
That wasn't the White Stripes.
WE play Seven Nation Army now
Now we really need to score a run

Sweeney, power up, quick!

The Angels are made of fuck
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ERIC KARROS
Ha ha! Yeah, that '67 All Star Game was crazy!
Angels are 0-22 when down after 7 innings!

Woooooooo.

I hate regression.
0-23 after last night.
Here it comes
Surprise, looks like Tui's suckitude is going to come back to haunt us!
Also Milton Bradley's
We only scored because they made an error
And we only didn't score twice because well fuck.
In conclusion, we fucked ourselves and the Angels gave us a pity squeeze
I bet A-ROD is jealous cuz that dude is gay.
Niehaus has a good HR call for the other team, but it's different than his call for Mariners.

Kind of cool how he does that.

Poor Felix can't get wins.
Jesus

I feel bad for anyone that has to bat against pissed-off Felix

Bobby Abreu is such a little bitch.
He's actually kind of big

“Little bitch” makes me think of Adam Rosales

Bobby Abreu si a bog bitch.
Last year Franklin would help Felix out with a next-inning homerun.
Please bring in Fuentes
Oh my fucking god

I mean I hate Hawk Harrelson as much as the next sane person but at least I can actually comprehend what he’s trying to say.

These announcers should have waited to sniff paint till after the game.

Bradley Hero Time?
Towel-over-Felix's-head time!
STOP FUCKING BUNTING YOU RETARDS

JESUS CHRIST

Well fuck that.
WHY MILTON WHY?!

THE FIRST PITCH BUNT FOR HIT IS SO STUPID!

Fuck this noise.
WHAT THE FUCK MILTON???
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Bradley no don't do that
For some strange reason, I'm still confident that we'll win this.

I think I need shock treatment.

GODDAMNIT IT

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BUNTING MILTON?

Oh Lord, I don't want to see another walkoff.
WHAT IS THAT
Let's just fucking bunt all the time
Wak you moron.
I doubt Wak called that
That bunt is sure to make Bradley's teammates feel good.
Lopez just keeps floating singles in
Lopie - Hero Mode On

AND WHY NO PINCH HIT WITH SWEENEY???

.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/w/wolfji01.shtml

I see you are engrossed in this game.
Thats great.

His real name is just as funny!

Almost 6 WAR in 1890!
Whatever happend don't PH here.
Why is Tui hitting?
Positive regression is yummy.
Tui Offense Explosion!!!
God I hope you're ahead of me.
I was being ironicastic
Do you just make this shit up?
Absoprobably
Hahaha they're talking about silva
Jesus... I didn't think Silva had 11 SO in a typical month
Do you think they realise that the people watching these games are M's and Halos fans?
I don't think they realize they're watching a baseball game.
I'M SO GLAD THAT MATT TUIASOSOPO IS UP TO BAT AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME
Even the broadcasters are talking about Carlos Silva
The blackest man on the planet is standing behind home plate
Oh cool, I've never seen Teej
I think that man stole my bike.
All I see is are shadows and a polo shirt hanging up.
Is Sweeny broken or something?
I think he used too much viagra
He can't be more broken than Tui always is.
His left achilles is sore
I hate you Tui.
God dammit Tui...
Tui is just fucking awful
God Tui sucks.
Good thing we didn't PH for Tui.

You know, since we can’t PH for Wilson.

Tui must be connected to the Oakland Raiders he sucks that bad.
Actually he is.

His older brother Marcus used to be the backup quarterback for the Raiders.

No way!
his dad

played for the seahawks.

Proof

I would enjoy seeing Tui behind that offensive line
Thats the point of it, mane.
Tui is awsome!

Mostly for not GIDP there. I’ll take it.

Cmon Paperboy lets fuck some shit up
Tui shouldn't be here.

Fuck Wak.

Come on Paperboy

Bring me some good news

Brace for walk off!
Due up: Matsui

Fuck you, Jeff

Uh oh!
You're safe!
I could still be right
You and your flawless logic.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So you pinch-hit for Johnson, but not for Tui
Wait he pinch-hit for Johnson? I missed that
He was on deck.
Sweeney was on deck just in case
Like saving Aardsma for the save situation.
But not Kotch or Langerhans

Wak is so stupid

I hate WAK
Even my Wife hates Wak.
Clearly she's not Chinese.
This was a flied lice joke.
She's Japanese... well 1/2.
Meaning...unfortunately she enunciates well enough to comprehend.
I've seen this movie before
It's really hard for me to get too invested

 when we are still actively not putting our best players in position to win.

HIT STREAK OVER
He'll have plenty more opportunites
Opportunities*
WIN STREAK OVER
This game feels like one we were never going to win.

Walkoff time!

Kotchman has the plague, that's the only eplanation.
That would explain a lot actually.
Langerhans too?
It tends to spread.
Felix?

Felix!

I have decided that I don't like Wak.
Felix should go 10 innings assuming we don't get boned here.
Felix goes 10!
But that's okay, because Felix can dial it up to 11.
Jeff, if your prediction comes true, I will hate you
Okay
I need to find a better threat
But oh well it didn't come true
Yet
Don't
Please
This is the worst subthread in the history of Lookout Landing.
Disagree.
You have low standards.
Hey look, Felix is still going!
Belief System
Complete game loss? We're getting good at those.
As opposed to....
A complete game Win. "???"
Cliff threw one earlier this year.
Nevermind I misunderstood.
Just turned the game on. Holy shit, Felix: 72 strikes, 38 balls.
We are off to a good start.
I hate feeling like our season is riding on each individual game.
These divisional games coming up are causing some high anxiety
Okay get Felix out of there.
I mean yess
WE at 29%
What THEY at?
71%?
He wasn't being serious.
Argh. I hate real answers.
I see your joke and raise you literal interpretation
If it's a fight you want...
ONLY I MAY MAKE JOKES
Then you should do a better job so I don't need to pick up the slack.
Any dead baby jokes you want to throw out here?
No
What is the best thing about abortion?
The fetus won't cry when you rape it!
What's red and crawling up your leg?
A homesick abortion!
Jews, hide, hurry!
We are a hilarious people.
Yay. Leadoff walk

Game over.

Why leave him in at all? Our whole bullpen minus Aardsma is rested
I would imagine Felix pushed for it.
I WISH SEAN WHITE WAS HERE
Here comes Sean White!!
I have good news for you...
I was going for a dramatic WWE entrance
All Blue Blazer style.
Falling 150 feet to your death?
Who's coming in for Felix?
I'm guessing Jesus Colome.
Frandsen in, game over.....
Let's talk about the Yankees for a little bit
I felt pretty good about Cleveland coming back to win until I remembered that I hate the Indians.
What a game!
I would LOVE to but I forgot I had to go play in traffic for a little bit.
This game needs more Sean White
Nice play League.

Awful bunt

Fuck you, Ken-drick!
You have to put down a horrific bunt to not actually advance the runner
Good sign!

Felix has a towel on his head!

Only works when we are batting.
But we can't walkoff...
Yes we can
Sî se puede?
We come again?
The towel on head play wasn't a walkoff
Maybe he'll bomb the Angel's dugout.
Not a suicide bomb though

Please? :(

Just send Tui in there.
Bad sign!

Guti might not bat next inning.

Wooooooooooooooo League!
He doesn't look nearly as "Wild Thing" menacing with the contacts.
Brandon League is a fucking good pitcher
Nice work League!
Nice hold

Mr. League

This isn't football
I don't think you get a "hold" without the lead.
What the hell is a hold anyways?
A stat designed solely for fantasy baseball.
Ichiro is up third!!!
More baseball! Baseball!!
I'd let League rub it on me
Would you touch it? I might. It depends
His member is probably horrifyingly goofy.
Why rub it on you when he could rub one out on you?
I took League to lunch with a mutual friend this summer.

He ordered a salad. Don’t ask why I paid. It was even before we traded for him. He’s good guy, typical local guy.

He's local?
He's local somewhere
Sorry.

He lives in Honolulu now. I had to beg my friend to ask him to go to lunch. But it was probably the first and last time I’ll get to talk to a major leaguer not in a stadium or signing.

Hawaii news channels love the "local guys." In other words Victorino is God.

The did a great piece on Kanekoa Texiera.

Thank goodness the Cubs game ended.

Now the Mariners are on here.

Carlos Silva?!?
I love me some Brandon League.
God forbid Felix should get a win, or anything.
So a no-decision for Felix, huh?

Dammit.

Pinch hit for Saunders?
How about we pinch-hit for Johnson first?
That inning feature the Angels sending out the kind of hitters we've had to rely on.
I want Saunders to go back to 2009 for one at-bat

and drag-bunt to get on.

Because bunt hitting has been working so well for us today
Fuentes!

Chance!

FUENTES LOOKS LIKE MARIO!!
This is really throwing me off.

I can’t focus at all.

It's A Meee! Fuentes!
Woo Fuentes!

Time to score some runs up in this bitch!

I blame my dad for Tui's suckiness.

We were on the same Tee-ball team and my Dad was the coach…

Oh, shit yeah it is absolutely your dad's fault.
No, it's my fault

I haven’t been in the gamethreads lately and we’ve scored five or more in each game.

It's hard to learn how to take a ball

when the tee is always in the strike zone.

Rob Johnson

A hero for our times.

So now we decide to keep Johnson in the game?
Why would you pinch hit for him now?
Sweeney is a better hitter?

As is Langerhans?

As is Kotch?

Against Brian Fuentes?
Sorry - I was thinking K-Rod part II was still in the game

Still, putting Sweeney in for Johnson would have been the better play

For the one PA, sure.

There’s a greater context though. Removing Rob Johnson in a low leverage PA is a waste

Why is it a low-leverage AB?

How much would getting a man on change WE?

You get to use Mike Sweeney once.

You want to use him with no runners on base?

Yes

I’d imagine putting a man on in that situation would be pretty huge.

It would have been far better to use him for Saunders

should Johnson have reached. Read up on pinch hitting penalties and platoon splits

Good grief your snark gets old
Thankfully there are other Mariner blogs for you where Matthew does not post.
I don't have time to hold an entire recitation every time.

We’ve talked about these points numerous times on this website. I did my best not to dismiss you out of hand but if you choose to not educate yourself, that’s not my fault.

WE is ~10% greater if you get the leadoff man on

in extra innings.

What's the wOBA advantage of a cold Sweeney over Johnson there?

What’s the wOBA advantage of a cold Sweeney over Saunders?

~77 points for Sweeney over Johnson

(that’s using about 35 points of wOBA for pinch hitting penalties)

Before factoring in the platoon difference between Sweeney and Saunders, the pinch hitting penalty alone results in a difference between the two of about 42 points.

Given he has such a small MLB sample to work with, I didn’t feel comfortable figuring a wOBA for Saunders vs. LHPs (although in the last two seasons Sweeney does better vs. RHPs).

So if you can figure Sweeney will be a good 35 points better than Saunders against Fuentes (not too hard), then Sweeney should be up for Saunders.

However, putting a man on w/one out, as opposed to no outs, in the top of an extra inning in a tie game produces a WE% 10 percent lower.

Does that make up for the difference between Sweeney and Saunders? I don’t know.

Wak probably doesn't feel comfortable putting a rookie behind the plate if they don't score.
Alfonzo is not a rookie
No, no he is not.

Well that’s embarrassing.

Fuck you

Rob Johnson

0-5 in sextras

GOD

Each team has a winless streak on the line.

Angels: Trailing after 7 innings
Mariners: Extras

Jump Fuentes Jump!
Rob Johnson sucks
Wooo Twins!
Oh boy Saunders vs. Fuentes
Rob Johnson: 0'fer life.
Saunders is going to get destroyed
STOP FUCKING BUNTING
WHY ALL THE BUNTING
Aww tried the drag-bunt...
So, 3 attempted bunts for base hits in the last 2 innings
100% failure rate!
STOP BUNTING
Like he has a prayer by swinging
Good god

Fuentes’ delivery pisses me off so much

Let's go 30 inning game
I have an evening planned entirely around waffles, and I don't want this game to interfere.
What are waffles to you?
A light, crisp battercake.
That does sound magical
Is there chicken involved too?
There better be peanut butter involved as well.
There is now!

Good call.

Tell me this is the next Mary Kay type fad.
Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt
Dam you Mario
Rough day for Saunders :(
Come on BP one out of here.
They swing in "Batting Practice" right?
X-rays were negative?

Booooooooo.

Now would be a good time for an Ichibomb
Chone Figgins is going to hit a walkoff
Can't walk-off.

Though I’d like the idea.

He just switched back to the Angels
He's an Angel
Yeeeeaaaaaaaaa.....
That was not a strike.
I'm gonna go play Mario Galaxy. Screw this
I really need to plug my laptop in, but I know the moment I go upstairs, unplug the cord, bring it down here, find an outlet and plug it in, the Angels will score.
At least then you won't witness it.
This game needs to end before we have to call up Sean White.
That was a strike?

Get the fuck out of here…

Good god. Just when you think you've seen the worst umpiring imaginable this happens.
A borderline ball being called a strike?

I think I’ve seen worse.

Wasn't borderline.
Yes, it absolutely was.
Great Fox announcer gem

If Ichiro gets .41 of a hit here, he’ll match his career average of hits per game today.

Ichiro is a angry guy.

I love the look on his face when he strikes out looking, its like he is burning the umps face into his mind so he can fuck him up after the game.

I don't think of him as an angry guy
He's intense, like all great players
Doesn't make him angry
.

His nose looks huge in that shot.
I think it's just the light!
Just wait until the day Hello Kitty Snaps a bat over the "you are clrearrry blind" umpires head.
I don't noramally.

But he is japanese, I’m sure its pent up somewhere.

Have you seen a angry japanese? Its their nature to be polite.

Yes

Its not something you want to be within 100 miles of.

My Wife is not a calm woman & her grandmother was worse.
I believe you're thinking of Canadians.
Everybody crap your pants.

crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap

That ball went further than I liked it to go.
farther
I'm confused now.
I think it's farther.
Further from the truth, farther down the road.
Yay Desperate Housewives is on!
Based on what little I have seen today?

Either I have really bad baseball karma today, or they are playing like crap.

Ok, so it wasn't me.

I turned on my movie. ..

I thought that was gone
This is encouraging
Sporcle time!
Fuck it.....

0-6 in extras

Freaking Izturis
This can't be ending well.
God damnit.

We’re gonna lose.

Time to throw some unhittable pitches in the strike zone.
Cleanup hitter Reggie Willits!
I just realized this.

What the I don’t even..

Hey, Willits walkoff.
Good call on walking Abreu

A rare good decision by Wak.

He makes a majority of good decisions
Was that even a decision?

It’s pretty much given that he/anybody would do that in this situation to set up the DP.

Is it too much to ask for a ground ball?
Guess you should have been more specific
Shit. Willits is gonna walk off. Should have not hit the impostor.
Whatchu talkin' about Willits.
That actually made me laugh out loud.
Gary Coleman died yesterday
Yeahhh that's the point of the joke.
The imposter?
Hunter's reference to black latino players.
I'm scared.
Willits is gonna hit his first career home run right here and now
Catch the fucking ball Rob
No, sir, I don't like this one bit.
GODAMNIT CHONE!
BAHAHAHAAHA
FUCK YOU FIGGINS YOU FUCKING DOUBLE AGENT
Figgins is trying to throw this game
f q34-ti sdfi:L DSKJFLDSK: FJDSPOFJFLDSKf
And there's your ballgame

What the fuck, Chone.

FUCKING CHONE FUCK YOU
GOD DAMMIT FIGLET
FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
DAMMIT CHONE YOU DON'T PLAY FOR THEM ANYMORE
He was a spy this whole time

it all makes sense now….

That was great.
OH COME THE FUCK ON
Figgins is still playing for the Angels.
Go to hell Figgins
Okay fucking release Figgins.

God damnit you cocksucking piece of shit you just cost us the game.

You fucker
Figgins, secret agent for the Angels
Fuck you Chone.
Dod Gucking Fammit
God Fucking Dammit.

There I helped you out.

walk off grand slam

well motherfucker

Walk off grand slam

Fucking brilliant

You have got to be fucking kidding me.
Seriously?
Well, that's a fish
Did that just happen?
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
gay earth status: fucked
This is a fucking joke.
That ended well.

Walk off grand slam.

I didn't see that coming
SUCK. MY. BALLS>
OH MY GOD
Ugh

what a fucking awful game

That was unnecessary.

Talk about overkill!

J;AEO4P9 68TQ34H5[*(RUw34/
He's a double agent.
I blame Wak
Ahahahahahaha they hurt Morales on the walkoff pile
HA!

Redemption!

Please be broken.
Fuck the Angels, fuck Zombie Nation, fuck baseball
Oh wow

Did he just get hurt

HAHA JEFF NOT MATSUI
HAHAHA SUCK IT ANGELS
Wow, he injured himself?

HA

Well fuck

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

Congrats Mariners

You found yet another way to painfully lose a game.

Ahahahahahahaha
BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bye

I’m gonna go spiral into a depression now

Morales injured!
Oh wow, that's a new one.
OK thats funny.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahaHHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BLEW OUT HIS KNEE CELEBRATING?
AHAHAHAHAHAHA They hurt him in the walk off pile!
Hahahaha Morales is injured!!!!
BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Brandon League isn't remotely as cool as he was hyped up to be
He did get the grounder.

That Figgins couldn’t handle.

Only gave up three rockets in the inning
That is fucking hilarious
He hurt himself celebrating?

I feel a little bit better now, I dunno about you guys.

IT MAKES ME FEEL MUCH BETTER!

HUNTER AND MORALES HURT!!??! BAHAAHHAAHA

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Well at least there's a silver lining...
This is so great
Time to go to halos heaven and read their reaction.
No, no it is not
Don't visit that site for any reason, ever.
Absolutely not
I disagree

I actually think its fun reading the other teams comments.
 

Halos Heaven is the rectal wart of SBN.

Don’t give them site traffic.

Kind of hard to believe that

When we are cheering when someone got hurt. I love the Mariners, but I don’t know cheering for a injury seems wrong.

You should trust me on this one.

I’m a doctor.

Nobody cheered for an injury, we cheered when an injury happened

Big difference

Alright good point.
Also, Halos Heaven is the worst blog on SBN.

It is legitimately terrible.

I have insanely low standards and find Hawk Harrelson to be greatly appealing

and I think Halos Heaven is the worst thing ever

This is true in almost every instance besides Halos Heaven
Absolutely.

I particularly enjoy masochistic fanbases that mimic our own, like found at royalsreview and lonestarball.

I give some credit to Royals Review for the fact that I love Kansas City, both the city and the team
Yes, RR is fun.
jeez...walkoff grand slam

that’s a memory those fans will have for a lifetime

Bill Grammatica is chuckling right now.
That's what you get, Crab-Angels.
Karma is a bitch Kendry
I don't know if I should be happy or sad

We lost but Angels hurt Morales (literally)

Torn ACL

Those stupid jump-a-thons might have just seen their last day. Good riddance

Morales just one-upped Rob Johnson's injury from celebrating Ichiro's walkoff last year.
I hope this happens to Nelson Cruz as well
This is the best loss ever
Is he hurt badly?
I never wish injury on any athlete...

unless they play for the Angels.

FUCK YOU, TORII.
FUCK YOU, MORALES!

BHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

I wish injury when it benefits the Mariners.
Fingers crossed Griffey does his back in!
Fingers crossed Rob Johnson gets a shot to the scrotum. Wait....
I never wish injury on any athlete.

But if they get injured, it feels like it’s fair game to cheer.

I am still laughing

At least he didn’t die

They could always sacrifice him.
now its ...

a wheel off in a stretcher grand slam

That was awesome.
JOKES ON YOU BITCHES
Bwaaahahahahahahahahahahaha

we won. You lose fuckers.

Guess he isn't walking off
It's a shame that he managed to touch home plate.
Lose the battle, win the war.
This is my favorite ending of the season
I second this.
We should lose like this every time we play a division rival.
I went from mad to laughing in five seconds!
What the heck happened?
Kendry hits walk off grand slam

Hurt himself celebrating Grammatica style.

I see that now-- looks like they are blowing up one of those inflatable casts
They're still there.
Some sort of ankle injury apparently.
This is the best ending of all time.
A limp off grand slam.
GAME/SEASON FUCKING OVER.

Just kidding…….not really.

Could be. An air cast isn't a good thing.
EWWW, it was broke..you see that?
Really?
On the replay people were hitting his leg and it was bending funny.
How embarrassing
Air Cast!

That motherfucker is broken.

Bwaaaahahahahahahahahaha

I am so fucking happy right now!
Looks like a broken ankle

Damn.

First Adenhart, now this...
How ironic would it be if Nick Adenhart went to hell?
Where exactly did you assume Halos Heaven was located?
It's like playing Madden in the 90's. "Oh shit, here comes the Ambulance" Ha Ha Ha
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
So I guess his leg suffered a grand slam
This is not going to help our relationship with HH
It was probably irrepairable anyway
We need a special thread about this cart-off grandslam.
I second this.

Complete with pictures, captions, and .gifs!

Need some GIFs ASAP!

This is simply amazing.

Was this really something we were working to repair?
So what happened with Figgins that caused Twitter-distress?
He booted a ball the prevoius play

Might have been a DP, would have been at least one out.

Ah.

He really doesn’t seem to have enjoyed the transition away from his first team.

Quick question, if Figgins doesn't boot that grounder, would he have had a shot at a double play?
Not with Willits running
No

But maybe we pitch Morales differently and less aggressively.

Excellent work on that grounder Chone!
In hindsight I kind of don't mind that it happened.
It really worked out for the best.
No.

We could have won if he didn’t make that error. It in no way worked out for the best.

Bigger picture
Morales might be out for quite awhile

Which might benefit us more in the long run than one win (without doing any actual research or statistical analysis)

Also we still probably would have lost this game
2 outs, runners on second and third

hardly an automatic loss. Angels may be hurt but are they going to be the real threat this year anyway? I’d take the win over this any day.

Our WE would certainly still have been well below 50%
Yes, that is not an automatic loss.
Where did I say automatic loss
It also hurts the Angels.

Even if we tank, trade Lee and struggle to finish above a .450 WP, I’ll be happy if the Angels end the season in third place.

This is true. Fuck the Angels.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I HOPE TORII IS ALSO OUT WITH A BROKEN WRIST TOO!!!!

Think of how many birthdays Felix saved.
We really did take them down with us.
They did this to themselves!
It was their fault they needed a walk-off too
They already x-rayed, just a bruise.
aw...

Oh well, tommorow snell has a good shot at pitching well

Is it still called a walk-off?

or do we get to replay the inning?

If he didn't touch home, it would have been a walkoff triple, since he had aready touched third.

Though he was collapsed on home, so I’m guessing he touched it.

For shame

First grand slam completed by player touching home plate with his arse?

See

now this is a fun loss.

I was pissed when he hit it

And I’ve been giggling like a school girl ever since.

If we get swept by the Rangers next week in the same manner that we lost today, this will be the best summer.
The game thread sure did suck though.
I wish we could lose like that every day
Bucky Jacobsen in a suit?

What?

How big a suit?
Hey, think of it this way Figgins makes that play & they keep Morales for the rest of the year.

He’s their best power hitter, almost makes them look like us without the pitching. Now we just need Chone to VooDoo something up for Vlade.

There's a wild bear on the loose in the Q13 studio.
Fuck you Chone
League

Gives up a lot of homers for a groundball guy. But gb guys tend to have a high hr/fb ratio. I think.

This injury would have been better if the Angels were good this year
Any word on Torii's hand?
They said just a bruise.

X-rays were negative.

ok, thanks
Not broken, unfortunately.
He died
The inability to touch himself was just too much to bear.
Look on the bright side....

No matter what, Kendry Morales will be having a better week than Gary Coleman.

Gary Coleman is injury free.
Death is kind of an injury
Surely he'll feel better in a few days.
Look on the bright side

He can’t have complications from this stage.

Morales, on the other hand could have all kinds of subsequent hospital-based horror to follow.

Could get worse still, ala, Mike Modano

Fast forward to 1:16

I remember this. Good times.

Although he was the captain of my country at one point.

I haven't felt this well about losing in a while
You guys are a special breed
Any team's fans ever would have celebrated about this.
Thanks, troll.

Feel free leave and drive your Volvo around the Valley some more.

Thanks babe.
Thank you!
I don't want to read a blog about teams you like, written by you.
Wait until this hits ESPN.
I like to think so
Indeed! The best kind of breed!
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
You went to Northeastern

The Northeastern student section organized a “chugga chugga choo choo!” chant during a hockey game against Boston University after a BU student was killed walking across train tracks.

That's even worse than what we're doing!
To be fair given the opportunity I'm sure we would have risen to the challenge
BU sucks

I’m not particularly opposed to your mocking of Kendry in general…you guys are just dedicated.

This community has demonstrated a peerless ability to kill a good joke
After spending the last two minutes trying to Microsoft Art an image of Kendry Morales with a broken leg, I have given up. Someone else can do it.
.

Wait, that's wrong.
It's a plethora of diversity but I don't see any Asians
*cornucopia
Bottom right might be south asian
I can see that
We have a black friend!
Kinda looks like Aybar.
Lets see

The ones I remember were all post-season celebrations … Denny Hocking got his hand spiked in a pile, right? Peavy messed up a rib jumping up and down … didn;t jj Hardy hurt himself in a pile, too?

There was a minor leaguer who messed up his leg doing the HR leap onto home plate.

Tagg Bozied.

tore his pateller tendon.

Did Morales hurt himself or was he stomped on?
Hurt Himself....

because he’s a communist. He should be learning how to walk again in 10-12 months.

No politics, please
It's probably in everybody's best interests that nobody from LL reads HH and nobody from HH reads LL right now
Isn't that always the case?
Apparently one can be red AND dead.
I thought Alexi Ramirez was the cuban missile?

Does this nickname apply to any Cuban position player?

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