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Lookout Landing

5/8: Open Game Thread, Part 2

I don't want to jinx anything, but hey we're not losing!

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So Jeff lied to us.

Here is a second thread.

I thought there wasn't going to be a new thread tonight?
Guti time!
GUTI! GUTI!
GUTI GUTI GUTI GUTI GOOOO GUTI!
Don't say that!!!
DO IT GUTI!

FINISH THEM!

That fucker Jeff lied to us
If that doesn't hit Kotchman, we would have actually had the lead
I think Napoli blocks it
I think Rob Johnson is on third base.
I thought we weren't getting fresh sheets today.
Thanks Matthew, and I thought you wanted to win this.
Losing is better for the writing material.
Please Guti.

THIS IS YOUR PITCH!

And your Bitch.
Have an approach, Guti.
NOT A STRIKE!
The first pitch wasn't a ball.
Oooooh. I get it. Walk him to get to Loafie.
Way to suck ump!
That's ball 4 but oh well Guti is better than Loafie
Pitch 1 was also strike 1 so I'm not complaining.
WHAT THE FUCK
Okay, maybe he did go.
Son of a bitch.
fjmghjkjnhljujuerilΩßjdfxj,
So I have no idea how I made the Greek letters.
I was gonna ask...
Anger seemed to do the trick.
Fuck.
Does that strikeout erase RJ's having done something right?
RJ already has a huge suck deficit to deal with so, I don't know.
HEY FUCK HOME PLATE UMPIRES WHO THINK THEY CAN FUCKING MAKE THAT CALL

I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF HE DID GO THAT PISSES ME OFF

God damnit Guti.

Should of been on 1B anyway. Garbage.

Turn down the suck please.
Fucking shit.
Another case of umpire fucking us over
Gave a strike, took away a strike.

I see it as even.

Lower part of the zone has not been called all day

Can’t say the same about pitch #4.

That was a swing
I was talking about pitch #4
Pitch 1 wasn't a ball.
The location of pitch 1 was called a ball all day long
Cripes.
dammitdammitdammit.
I wonder if Eric Byrnes ever says

“We can never go back to Arizona”

You know what I like?
He can say whatever he wants while playing slow pitch softball.
Wow Gill Meche.

Complete game, 7 WALKS?

This just in: Gil Meche isn't that good.
Someone should tell people about this.
Trust The Process.
Funny thing is between 2006 and 2009,

Meche had a cumulative WAR of 13.2. Two seasons of 4+ wins (one at 5.0!). What the fuck?

I don't know about lately but Gil Meche was pretty good
I love how Fister kept rubbing Wilson's head.
Dave Niehaus calles Sims David. I like that, keeps it straight in print

Plus typing Niehaus sucks

David Aardsma has a long head.
So you've seen the pictures?
That was NASTY.
SPLITTER OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
About fucking time.
That was a beauty.
Wow that was nasty
Sit DOOOWWWN
It must be pretty disconcerting going from facing 7 innings of Doug Fister to Brandon League.
At least they know why they can't hit the fucking ball.

Fister has to be frustrating.

I would kind of like it if they scored so we could walkoff versus Fuentes.

Then again, that would make me very nervous, so just score some damn runs Mariners.

Brandon League: Win Vulture

Coming this fall on NBC.

I'd watch it.
So would I. One of the Mariners needs a reality show.
Milton would be fantastic.
Byrnes had one!
That is not a win vulture.

Win vultures come in, let inherited runners score so that the starter gets the no decision, and then pick up the win themselves.

Wouldn't it be fantastic if he lead the team in wins all year?
He is my second (maybe third) favourite pitcher on the team so I'd be fine with that.
I would love a walk off.

What a way to pump up a team who’s lost seven straight

It will be Langerhans

He was the king last year of walk off hrs

GRIFFBOMB!
This would pump them up

And be hilarious.

Agreed!

I’ll take the win in the 8th if they can get it, though.

Holy shite, for the first time in a long time this feels like a good baseball game instead of a losing battle of wrist arterials and razorblades.
Holy Shite indeed.
LOAFIE IS....... SAFE!!!
that was cool
Loafie with an infield hit haha.
Frandsen was close to becoming my least favorite Angel
But there are so many to choose from
That'a boy Loafie!
What the fuck?
Wait what the fuck?!
what you said
What the fuck?
Uhhh...

Foul?

WHAT THE FUCK!
Mr. 6-4-3 coming up though
FFUCKING HELL
God, you suck Loafie
What the FUCK?
Goddamn it.
Oh for fuck's sake
OH god damnit. Hit his fucking bat.
You cocksmith.
God still hates us
Lopez ran all that way for nothing.
This would happen to us.
Sween bomb?
sweeny HR on a 3-1 count
Great try.
way to ruin it already mike by swinging so much
Already Impossible.

YOu should know Sweeney isn’t that patient.

That would mean there's going to be 3 pitches he DOESN'T swing at.

Impossible.

Lopez is clumsy
Gameday broke so something interesting must have happened.
Lopez hit the ball twice.
How.
Chopped off the plate, as he followed through, the ball connected with the end of his bat.
Was it like...

this?

If only Loafie had that much talent at anything.
Former M's farmhand!
Prentice Redman!

Wooo

Why is it compulsive to guess before looking
This is crazy!

I thought the video kept skipping.

He hit it, and then it bounced up off his outstretched bat on the follow through.

Nobody realized it and so initially it looked like an infield hit until the plate umpire called it back.

Not sure why the ump decided to wait until well after the play was over to call it.

Seems like a dick move.

With the same swing.
Talent right there.
It's a long, semi-interesting story.
It sounds like we found a new way to cock things up.
Yeah, I hate him so much right now
Loafie hit the ball a 2nd time with his followthrough.

Correctly called a foul ball.

Once in a little league game I swung waaaaaaaaaay early and missed but I still hit the ball on my followthrough.

The Third baseman was too busy laughing to field it so I got a single.

Dude you deserve a single on that.
Well then.
Oh, look, Sweeney still sucks.

Order is restored to the universe.

Can't say I didn't see that coming
MIKE SWEENEY: STILL A USELESS CUNT
Hey, no need to fling insults. He's a good guy. He just sucks horribly
FUCK MIKE SWEENEY
I don't think that's necessary. He did tie the ballgame.
I'm pretty sure that was his 1st extra-base hit of the year.

He’s still completely terrible.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Still useless.

I GUESS THAT MAKES UP FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON THEN
I'm not saying it does. But I'm not for being harsh to people.
Shit, you'd better not look downthread then.
THIS COMMENT WASN'T NEARLY STRONG ENOUGH
There it is Sweendog.
when is the last time we hit a hr? Guit?
At least when we lose this won't be the most depressing sporting event of the day
Hooray Sounders!
,

Miguel Montano will save us all!
I realized that part of the magic of soccer is that even though we fall on our face in league play we still have two trophies to care about.
Yeah I definitely had to look at all my pictures of the US Open Cup final when I got home to cheer me up
HOW DO YOU GIVE UP 3 GOALS IN 20 FUCKING MINUTES
Hey, Arsenal did it in ten.
It was a fucking terrible match. The first one I attended too.

:(

THEY WERE SO BAD
They were in control for, what, the first 20ish minutes?

BUT COULDN’T PUT THE GODDAMN BALL IN THE BACK OF THE NET!!! AGAIN!! They’re nearly as frustrating as the Mariner’s now.

At this point the Sounders offense frustrates me about nine billion times more than the Mariners
Then why are you here?
Muscle memory
At least the Mariners can look to San Francisco and hope.

In comparison the Sounders can’t seem to get a break or put things together.

Their midfield passing is absolutely terrible.

Once they get scored on, they seem to completely lose all cohesion and go for the punt-and-pray approach, which is what frustrates the hell out of me. AND Fucito got put on IR (or whatever it’s called). GOD! FUCK! SHIT!

There's another place and time for this.

Like Here

There is nothing wrong with talking about it here.
No, but

it’s a shameless attempt to promote another SBNation site for non-Mariner’s discussion.

Not sure if that is against the rules on this board. Please let me know if it is.

At this point the Sounders and the Mariners are basically the same team so it's no big thing
SEA!

HAWKS!

I interviewed Sean Locklear two weeks ago

Sean Locklear is like two person’s worth of person

If you ever interview him again tell him that the second he signs with another team I will kill him for the offensive holding call in the SB.
This is a perfect time and place for it.
Lagerhans BB number 3.

I’m calling it.

Yeah but then Josh Wilson is up. So who cares?
The closer we get to Ich in the 9th, the better.
Designated Out
Way to go Ex-Angels.

0-6.

Josh Wilson's first hit of the season will be a homerun. I'm calling it.
If he can hit one off CC Sabathia he can hit one off this fool!
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT
I wish we could pinch hit saunders
Technically, we could. Sure, why not?
And his first pitch is a fastball dead center.
Holy smokes!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WOW

ANNOYING RUN MAYBE?

Doily!
"LOOK AT THE ENGLISH"
Well, we are lovely.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I don't have a tv to watch.

What happened?

Soft liner to the right side kicked off the dirt and turned left as Kendrick went right.

He tried to reverse his momentum and fell over as the ball squirted into the shallow outfield.

Ha!

Thanks.

heh

squirt

Ball hit the ground in front of Kendrick, bounced in a different direction to what it should've.
Josh Wilson broke physics
HAHAHAHAHA Holy shit!

YOU SEE THE FUCKING MOVEMENT ON THAT BALL?!

If Simon Cowell suddenly became a Mariners fan and started posting here.

I wonder what he would say.

Something not dissimilar to what I just said about Mike Sweeney.
I've never seen a ball do that before

once again cool

Grif pinch hit?
The fat fuck is annoyed.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
What the fuck was that?!??!

AWESOME!!!

Anna Kendrick could've fielded that

Hotly, too

Wilson totally meant to do that
50 line drives go right to the third basemen.

That shit gets through.

COME ON..... ROB JOHNSON.....!
WOOO!!

A taste of their own medicine!

Oh my god DA.
PLEASE ROB!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah he's going to strike out

You can always tell

Because he's at bat?
He walks too sometimes
Wish I wasn't right all the time
Dammit Griffin.
i'm back from dinner. its late as fuck in chile

go rob johnson. don’t suck. woooooooooooooo.

Please use proper capitalisation
The shift key on this laptop is basically fucked

also, rob johnson can lick my donkey sack.

i'll give johnson full redemption for everything if he belts a 3run hr
Here it comes
Oh dear. I'm nervous.
At least we'll start the inning with Ichiro.
Passed ball perhaps?
Josh scaring me just running for no reason!
He laid off the slider!

Small victory!

FUCK! Our catchers SUCK.
Rob Johnson.

Professional out.

Thanks Rob!
I didn't see that coming.
Damn it.

Way to mess with us Rob.

ROB JOHNSON: STILL A USELESS CUNT
I'd argue he adds negative value
Look on the bright side.

Ichiro can go for the walk off

Not if the Angels score.
Aww nuts.

Walk-off time.

Boy, I'd hate to actually capitalize on a bounce like that.
we can't that's the angel's style
That was particualrly lame.
Oh God, Aardsma time.
It's ok. Top of the order next inning.

Right guys? Right?

Ichiro single, strike out, strike out, Guti double for the win!
You mean Ichiro and "others"
IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO HAVE A JOE MAUER!!!!!

Yes :(

I'd settle for a Kenji Johjima now
Heck I'd settle for Gregg Zaun
I've been missing Jamie Burke just a little
Pat Borders!
Kenji is not settling.
Dan Wilson was the fucking man
I almost forgot it was the Mariners but fortunately Rob Johnson was happy to remind me
Ichiro infield hit. Figgins walk off double to left-center -- I'm calling it now!
Figgins can't hit shit.
Ichiro infield single, Giggy walk, Kotch walk, Guti slam.

Calling it.

Oh god damn. Aardsma.
aardsma should only be allowed to pitch in close games at safeco.
It's really depressing that a person like Rob Johnson literally has to hit against ML pitchers in key situations.
Here comes the DA.

Long time no see.

Fuck you Jose Lopez
I think Saunders will finally hit his first ML HR tonight.
That's not Mariners baseball
Wak doesn't pinch hit.
Of course Aardsma.
Rob should be in the...

Lookout Landing Center For Kids Who Can’t Hit Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too

I had never seen a single Zoolander reference on LL before, but I've seen like 3 in the last 3 days
Orange Mocha Frappucino!
A surprisingly tasty drink.
I've dropped a ton of them.
I've made one or two.
Oh Christ

2 fastballs right down the heart of the plate

And the Aardsma game blowout begins!
That ball was hit way too hard for my liking.

Please don’t give up another run Aardsma.

GAME TERRIFYING
It's not David Aardsma without men on base!
I hope David Aardsma walks in on his wife pleasuring a very unconvincing shemale.
I hope he walks in on his wife nailing Mike Sweeney.
Then kills them both before turning the gun on himself.
I said unconvincing.
Vargas?
This was my first thought as well.
This is interesting to think about
Ugh.

I’d hope for a walkoff HR, but, uh….

Splitter please
Why is League not out there still?

I just don’t understand Wak.

DON'T LET THEM DOILY
since we don't have a lead does this mean League is our closer now?

That would be a small victory

This is why we don't have nice things
Get it together Aardsma.
God dammit Aardsma
I hate David Aardsma
Who is Michael Ryan?
DP possibility restored!
I wanted Willitts to run.

Just so Ichiro would throw him out.

Rob Johnson would probably have dropped the perfect throw.
Awwww Hamburgers...
The only guy DA got out got himself out on purpose.
Time for Kevin Frandsen to crush our hopes with his 4th hit of the night
Frandsen up. Awesome.
And here is Frandsen who is of course called up tonight and 3-3.
I fucking hate David Aardsma.
Of course it's going to be Kevin Fucking Fransden.

Painful

Use the...oh it's not even worth it.
Remember to use the subject line.
Haven't seen a deep fly yet.
weeeeeee!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
1.000 batting average!
God damn.

I might of gone for the DP there though …

Rob didn't drop the ball!!!

Amazing.

Thank you Jose Lopez.

Now please take care of Aybar, David.

ROB JOHNSON CAUGHT IT AND TAGGED HIM OUT!
Can Rob Johnson do no wrong this game?

(or is that wishful thinking?)

He struck out with the go ahead run at third.
Aside from striking out in the last inning?
Grit & Hustle!
Thank you Kevin.
Well I'll be a monkey's uncle
Prob could have gotten a GIDP though

end of inning

Oh sweet potato
Now we're playing Mariner baseball!

Oh, that was the Angels.

Had to have that.

Got it. Just business.

Anybody think he should have tried for 2?

Personally I think he made the right move.

I kind of want to make fun of the picture of Rob Johnson and his mother on the M's homepage.

But that just doesn’t seem right

"Thanks for driving to the prom, mom"
You mean,

“Thanks for going with me to prom, mom”

Is Langerhans due up?
No. Top of the order.
Chones due for a dinger...
League threw TEN pitches in the 8th.

I just don’t understand why Wak would put Aardsma out there.

To be fair, League did pitch yesterday.
Ah forgot about that.
BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO WIN IT IN THE NINTH!

High five!….

ANYONE

BRO FIVE
LET'S DO THIS THING
*doesn't leave you hanging*
I'VE GOT YOU TOO DAWG
*Chest bump*
Johnson blocked a ball!
HE BLOCKED A PITCH!
Wow, Robby stopped it.
Rob blocked a ball!
ROB BLOCKED THE BALL I'M SO PROUD!
on defense he doesn't look like rob johnson so far today
To the Bottom of the 9th!
PLAYOFFS!!!!
Fucking heart attack Aardsma.

PLEASE WALK OFF. PLEASE!

Oh thank fucking God

LET’S DO THIS SHIT

.

Every single damn outing.
You're lucky Graham isn't present
WOOOOOOOOO

NOW WALK THE FUCK OFF

I told Aardsma to get it together and he did.

Ain’t I motivational?

Wow did we get lucky as shit in that inning.
WOW...NICE!!
Here comes the Ichibomb for the walkoff.
Oh thank god.

I almost died.

This still bothers you?
Amazing, we got out of that. Maybe this crap is over
Ichi-walkoff!
Walk off Ichiro HR would be amazing
Holy shit. Has god decided we don't deserve punishment any more?
Don't say that so early
The game isn't over yet.
There is a difference between a loss and the shit we have been dealing with lately.
Mostly, the fact that we didn't end that inning in embarrassment.
Let's wait til we get a win
Yeah, punishment is going to come slowly and painfully. Per usual.
IT'S WINNING TIME. LET'S GO.
Ichiro, walk off. Please. Thank you.
I vote for Figgins
It's my 18th birthday tomorrow.

It sure would be nice to have a Mariners win tonight and tomorrow.

Torii Hunter is going to ruin your birthday.
woo extra inning baseball...

will we set a record for most extra inning games in a season?

The Angels are giving the game away

with Rodney pitching.

TOUCH ME

I promise I won't press charges if you do.
REGGIE WILLITS IS WHITE?!
STILL WHITE!
What does Bill Simmons call it?

Reggie Cleveland All-Stars?

Please tell us M's have hit bottom already.
They have hit the bottom of the 9th.
Damnit. Rodney isn't horrible.
He's horrible at $11M
Napoli Benched.

Hahahahahahahaha.

He was pinch hit for ... of course he was.
Wait he was?

Maybe I need to pay more attention

Haha yeah. Some guy named Michael Ryan hit the single to Ichiro instead of Napoli.
Man, Scoscia can be a retard sometimes
Linkin Park's "What I've Done" on the PA.

Yeah, let something come and wash this shit away.

I remember when Jeff Clement homered against Rodney.
I remember when Ichiro homered against Rivera.
Damn. Nevermind.
If Ichiro walks Figgins is definitely going to bunt
:(

Wak’s game management is so sad.

I'd be lovely to have Milton hitting somewhere this inning
In Kotchman's spot I would like.
Ichiro you beautiful bastard!
Figgy walk off time.
Ichi-walk!
HERE WE GO
OKAY FIGGINS TIME TO DO SOMETHING
Ichi-walk!
I think Rodney's plan is to walk the bases full, knowing that will kill any chances of the Ms scoring a run.
You know, I meant this as a joke.
FIGGINS. TIME TO BECOME A MARINER.
Think about what you just said
Based on how the offense is performing so far this year,

I think he’s about as Mariner as he can be.

Don't get caught stealing!
Just don't GIDP
Nice shot of Aardsma picking his nose
OM NUM NUM NUM!
Keep workin on that boog Aardsma
walk!

I wonder if we can score ichiro from first by not swinging at anything this inning.

Their catcher isn't Rob Johnson.
QUIT HITTING .190 AND GET A MOTHERFUCKING HIT FIGGINS
Does Figgins bunt every time?
HELP MY TEAM IS BUNTING
Dear mlb.tv

I am in some other country where I don’t need to use a proxy to see a home game and it still doesn’t work. Fuck you greatly. gameday is shittier than I remember. waiting patiently for in play *(runs) but would rather watch. why do you suck?

Don't even try reasoning with it.

It doesn’t work. :(

I WANT A FUCKING SUICIDE SQUEEZE TO WIN IT!
That didn't work so well the last time we tried it.
Byrnes is no longer part of major league baseball
Sent us into a 7 game tailspin.
Fitting how it should snap us out wouldn't it?
NOOOOOOOOOO!
Win expectancy is above .500!
First time since 2003!
Figgers Please :(
That'll do.
Okay, okay, this helps.
1 out, ICHIRO on 2nd. KOTCH TIME!
Fucking PLEASE Casey.

STOP sucking.

PRODUCTIVE OUT!
Guti's going to get his chance, and that makes me happy.
Really? Bunt?
I'll take it.
Niehaus sounds positively shocked that a Mariner is in a big slump.
Kind of sounded like his exasperated voice

But I didn’t have a good ear on the radio for all of that buildup.

Figgins should walk in to Hypnotize instead of Griffey

Just dub over biggie biggie biggie with figgie

I was thinking this earlier.
Isn't the Getting Jiggy With It dubbed over as getting Figgy with it?
Also Griffey shoudl walk into Ice Cube's "You can do it"
EVERYBODY TURN ON YOUR RALLY CAPS
SDRAWKCAB OOT
God damnit.

Ex-angels are fucking worthless.

OH GOD GUTI PLEASE WIN THIS.
Guti PLEASE
FUCKING DO IT GUTI!!!
Please, Guti, please...
Did that bunt have a negative run value?
-1.1%
GOD
That assumes Figgins isn't terrible.
Fuck.

GO GUTZ!

Suicide aqueeze?!?!
Christ Kotchman
Please do it Guti. This city needs you so bad right now.
C'mon Guti, fulfill your destiny!
Where's my facepalm pic when I need it?
Please deliver a sexy time victory for us Guti
Franklin Franklin!
GUTI PLEASE!!!
Huh. They're going to pitch to Guti.
PLEASE GUTI PLEASE.
I'm preparing myself for the worst right now.
I'm just going to cry if we don't win here.
Franklin Gutierrez!

Franklin Gutierrez!!!!!! Reward me for buying your jersey!

RRS bald?
Shaved it yesterday.
He said last night he was going to shave his head.

Not sure why tho.

I AM UTTERLY CONFIDENT BECAUSE FRANKLIN IS TOO SEXY TO FAIL
LOPEZ HOWEVER IS JUST SEXY ENOUGH TO FAIL
Why pitch to Guti when you got Lopez behind em right Rodney?!
Unintentional/intentional walk
A Rob Johnson special by their catcher would be fun.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEZE
COME ON FRANKLIN
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO WALK!
It's all up to Jose Lopez.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkk.
MAKE HIM PAY LOAFIE
Ichiro should steal home!
Steal home!
OH NO THEY KNEW LOPEZ WAS NEXT
DOWN TO YOU, LOAFIE

HERO MODE

That walk does not do anything for me.
Sigh Lopez.
Well, it's Loafie time.
Walked him anyway!
I hope they IBB Lopez to face Sweeney.
I hope they don't

it’s the smart move

Walkin him to get to the power guy

Big mistake

TIME FOR ANOTHER 12-PITCH AB
NOW I'M REALLY NERVOUS.
LOAFIE HERO MODE
LOPEZ, DON'T SWING AT THE FIRST PITCH!
C'mon Lopez!
In fact, doesn't that lower our WE? Since now they've got the force at 2B
Nope, guess not
C'mon Loafers.
NOOOOOOO!!!!!

GUITIIIII did you forgot who is after you?

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEE
Please Lopez. This is the year 2009... You are getting veeeeery clutch~
A walk is useless! I wanted Guti!!!! Please don't kill this Loafie.
Loafie should know to take that pitch in ths shoulder.
Jose's gloves are distracting.
Take take take take take take
ANAL SCRAPINGS
HE'S IN THE HOUSE!
LOAFIE I'M NOT KIDDING I'M GONNA SHOVE YOUR BAT UP YOUR ASS
CANNOT. WATCH.

STILL. WATCHING.

Walk!!!!

Pinch hit Grifslam!

Oh crap... If Loafie walks that means....

Sweendawg.

If Griffey does not pinch hit I will kill something cute and fuzzy.
BRB finding a kitten
No force at 2nd!
Step in front of one you tubby Mexican
GAHHH. COME ON LOAFIE.
Well that was a good pitch
Fooled him BAD on the change-up.
.

Good to know but I question its relevence.
ROGER DORN!
You apparently aren't seeing what the rest of us are.
It's Griffey time fellas
Wow, he wasn't even close.
If he grounds out softly on this pitch i will break somthing
Please don't leave it up to Sweeney
If Sweeney doesn't get the walk off walk I'm gonna kill him
Lopez. Do NOT walk. Do NOT!!!
SIT ON THE CHANGEUP

HE HAS NO FASTBALL COMMAND

NO COMMAND AT ALL
Do you take?

Or risk Sweeney?

I would love to see a walkoff balk here.
That would be epic.
Oh god. Sweeney.
I'd like to see a walk-off walk.
Impossible with Sweeney.
Hit by pitch.
I was just thinking this.

Please Sweeney, don’t swing until he proves he can throw a strike.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH NO THEY KNEW SWEENEY WAS NEXT
1 closer to his goal!
...Sweeney.

Extra innings!

OH GOD OH GOD.

SWEENEY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT SWING AT THE FIRST PITCH.

Come on. 3 fucking walks in the NINTH inning.

If we lose. I don’t fucking know.

It's all up to Sweeney.
Extra innings!
TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE
Oh man

BE SELECTIVE SWEENEY

You watch Sweeney swings on the first pitch.
Second pitch.
SWEENDOG TIME
Another bases loaded opportunity for Mike Sweeney!
Can we please have a lefty PH?

Like, say, Griffey?

I WILL SLAUGHTER YOUR WIFE AND OFFSPRING IF YOU FIRST PITCH SWING, SWEENEY
I was just about to say we could walk in the winning run...

but then I noticed Sweeney was up

WHERE IS GRIFFEY?!
Are they chanting the riff to Seven Nation Army at Safeco?
Show the kids how it's done old man.
FUCKING SWEENEY YOU DICKBURN
KEEP TAKING
TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
Fucking Sweeney....

If he gets a hit or walk Wak will claim he is useful, if he doesn’t we lose. Great.

Well, not necessarily.
C'mon Mike, hug one!!
TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE
TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE
Oh jeeze...
Don't swing Sweenster DON"T SWING
Just be patient you SOB.
SWEENDOG DON'T SWING
Ground out please.

Please don’t let Sweeney be the fucking hero.
Oh my, he took a ball. Amazing.

You'd rather Sweeney fail than the M's get out of this shit?
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
GOD.
Thought that was it.
SWEENEY DO NOT TAKE THE FUCKING BAT OFF YOUR FUCKING SHOULDER UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NEVCESSARY
Fucking Ump, don't you want to go home?
Soooooooo close
DON'T FUCK UP SWEENEY
STOP SWINGING ASSHOLE
Asking Sweeney to walk is like asking a blind kid to read you a book.
Officially freaking out here.
DAMMIT STOP SWINGING!
Sweeney getting his hacks in
Come the fuck on Mike that was ON your hands.
This is bad.
He's going to strike out
I'll give 5 dollars to a random person

If Sweendog hits a grandslam

WALK-OFF HBP PLEASE
Sweeney is going to strike out. Dang it.
OH FUCK HE'S STRIKING OUT
Dammit Sweeney that wasn't a strike
DON'T SWING ASSMUNCH
Changeup, strike 3. Extra innings.

Not that that’s a tough call to make.

Sweeney I won't hate you for a month.

SO SCORE THE FUCKING RUN!!

I already prepared myself mentally for extra innings loss. No worries. None at all...
THIS IS KILLING ME
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT OLD MAN?
I can't believe he caught up to that!
Gonna K him on a change-up now.
STOP SWINGING
SWEENEY JUST GET FUCKING HBP OR SOMETHING
Two strikes, Sweeney goes into free swing mode.
You are fucking retard royalty, Sweeney
He could've walked in the fucking run by now
This is way more fun.
Woooosaaaa~ Woooosaaaaaaaaaa
Switch batters. Right fucking now. Switch fucking batters you nancy
I like edgy Kermit.
I can't even carry Chinns bags
But Sweeneynaise is going to get a base hit
Sike!
Tease
Are you kidding?

You’re getting sextras!

Pour another pint, we're going to extras
STOP FOULING SHIT OFF YOU FUCK
I'm about to be so mad at you Sweeney
Holy shit lay off the inside fastballs
Rodney nearly hit Guti and Lopez with that pitch
LIKE 7 MOTHERFUCKING TIMES OR SOME SHIT
I'm trying to figure out how Sweeney was ever good

Was he always this stupid at the plate?

YOU FUCKING LOGJAM
Shoulda walked in the run by now....
None of these pitches have been strikes.
It could've been like ball 7 by now
A season-ending HBP would be absolutely perfect here.
There needs to be a like option

Because he just grounded out.

YOU'RE JUST PROLONGING THE INEVITABLE
Good eye Sweeney.

Don’t swing at the pitch over your head.

Hey ball 2!
Ball 6 according to gameday
Thanks something.
GAME SHOULD BE OVER.
Hooooooly shit
Well this is about as intense as you can possibly get
TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
Oh my god oh my god oh my god
Here we go.
Can't believe he got that call
OH MY GOD THREE-TWO COUNT!
Wild pitch please.
3-2 somehow
TAKE TAKE TAKE
Heart attack in 3... 2...
shpadoinkle
HERE WE GO!!!
FFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK YOU SWEENEY!
HOLY SHIT
THAT'S HOW HIS BACK GETS HURT
Hah, bet he k's on ball 4.
I almost chimped out on that check swing.
Fuck it.

Chimping out.

UN FUCKING BELIEVEABLE.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
MOTHERUCKGJKDLLLLLLLLSFJLDKJF ALKJDLASJFIEOJ OIJNOKFIEONIEE
KIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Fuck Mike Sweeney!
FUCK EVERYTHING
This will take several hours.
YOU FUCKING ASSJAM
HATE HATE HATE
MIKE MOTHERFUCKING SWEENEY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
SWEENEY IS A COCKTEASE
You utter utter cunt
DAMMIT ALL
Piece of shit.
DAMNIT MIKE FUCKING SWEENEY!!
YOU'RE NOT GOOD RODNEY
Whatever, should've been a strikeout, but same either way
HAHAHA EXTRAZZ~~~
Rodney realized "oh wait, I'm facing Mike Sweeney."

“I’ll just throw it down the middle and he’ll ground out.”

FUCK FUCK FUCK.
YOU STUPID COCKFACE

I HOPE SOMEONE GROUNDS GLASS INTO YOUR APPLESAUCE AND GERITOL

Sweeney kicked a paper cup!
Please tell me he broke his toe on it.
Well, who comes out of the bullpen now?
I was about to say, "he's going to take, it's going to be a strike, and we're going to cry"
In his defense, the last pitch was a strike.

Too bad he didn’t get a fucking hit.

Maybe 2 pints are needed.

But that was the only one of this AB
Having the pitch be a strike isn't a defense.

Hitters hit strikes.

Time to crack into a new sixer.

Mariner’s baseball!

DFA CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
I never thought i would be so mad the Wak didn't pinch hit Griffey.
I HATE WHITE PEOPLE
CHIMP OUT!
Wak is Japanese.
Just when I thought the Angels were going to revert back to being as bad as the Ms....
After ALL THAT.
All That was amazing.

I miss Keenan & Kel.

My favorite old school Nick show was Are You Afraid of the Dark.
Also an amazing show!
I have the first three season on DVD

Best gift I have ever received.

Old school? Try Hey Dude.

Ben Stiller’s wife when she was young. Rawr.

Who loves orange soda

Junior loves orange soda

Thing to look forward to:

Extras with Langersex in the lineup!

That Figgins sacrifice was what killed this inning
Mike Sweeney not being able to recognise a ball is what killed that inning.
YOU FUCKING ANAL BEAD
Ball eight, Mariners fuck up again.
No fucking shit.
That was so predictable. Only took 7 extra pitches.
No Mariner is allowed two clutch hits in the same game.

Which is why you should have fucking walked, Sweeney. FUCK.

MIKE SWEENEY YOU HAVE PUSSY ASS
What exactly does this mean?
If you have to ask, you don't want to know.
I heard his wife was hot back in the day
Who's excited for bonus baseball!
WHAAAAAAAAAAT
So how many of those pitches were actually strikes?
I think maybe 2.
One.

And it was borderline.

MY HEMORRHOIDS
I think that last one was a strike

Probably the only one

Aardrsma for a 2nd inning?
That spells trouble. Although he hasn't pitched that much lately so.
Don't worry guys, this game is in the bag
Oh goody, more Aardsma.
HOW MANY MOTHERFUCKING TIMES HAS THAT FUCKING PRICK BEEN UP WITH THE FUCKING BASES FUCKING LOADED AND FUCKED IT UP?
Just a heads up...

Torii Hunter HR incoming…

If Sweeney is not released I don't fucking understand this team.

That is the 2nd time he’s fucked us with bases loaded and it could of been a walk off.

BUT HE HUGS PEOPLE!

So does Barney the goddamn dinosaur, and I wouldn’t fucking want him up with the bases loaded and two outs in the ninth, either.

He doubled in the tying run.

There’s no way they’re releasing him.

David Aardsma going wild heading into the heart of the order

I smell the end

FUCK YOU M"S

MY SHIFT BARELY WORKS BUT MY CAPS LOCK DOES.FUCK YOU I’M TIRED. ENTERTAIN ME

Please Capitalize
You picked a great time to leave the country.
Rainiers also loaded the bases with no outs and have yet to score anyone.

Tui coming up….

RUNS
Two RBI SINGLE. WOOOOO.
Why can't we do that?
PUT IN SEAN WHITE!
Wait...I thought we wanted to win?
And let Sweeney off the hook?

I’m torn.

WHY DO THE ANGELS GET THOSE KIND OF HITS AND NOT US!?!?!?!
They sacrifice better goats than we do
Walk the world?
FUCK EVERYTHING
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I'm gonna go ahead and switch to gameday. This is not something I can handle watching at the moment.
Bobby Abreu: Professional Hitter
Game over. Awesome.
Sweeney tried doing the same thing and it went foul.
Sweeney isn't good like Abreu.
The Sweeney AB on Gameday, what an asshole

Don't bother with a graph, Jeff.

Just put this graphic up.

FUCKINGN DICKBURGERS
I love Dick burgers.
Oh hey, me too!

Deluxe cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake…

YAY ANOTHER LOSS AT THE HANDS OF TORII HUNTER.
I'M GOING OUT AND IM GONNA DO SO MUCH HEROIN AND FUCK SO MANY WHORES. FUCK THIS
Remember, share needles and no condoms.
Or if you're really feeling adventurous... Share condoms and no needles.
IVE SNAPPED. IM A LOOSE CANON FOREVER NOW
Should of got the Nikon
I WANTED TO SHOOT HD VIDEO
It's hard to do both. Get some black market viagra, crystral meth and an online escort.

$350/hr

TOO EXPENSIVE
SHIT ON A STICK
Oh that pretty splitter
TELL ME THAT WAS NOT SHAWN WHITE
OF COURSE IT WASN'T SHAWN WHITE

BUT WAS IT SEAN WHITE?

No, but he'd probably be better than Sean White.
Think it was Kelley.
I'm not sure I've ever said Phew in a non-ironic way before...

Until Now.

Just for further reference. Is there a big difference between Phew and Whew?
I have a really bad feeling about this.
Matsui over Morales.

Not sure…

Absolutely in every scenario.
Abreu moves fast for a lard ass
Int walking Morales to get to the World Series MVP. Riiiiiight
Morales is the better hitter.
Morales is much better than Matsui

and performance in a 7 game span granted to him by his superior team in no way gives Matsui an advantage.

I would. World seeries MVP means what exactly? He had a good gamr?
Matsui's been a dangerous hitter for quite a while now. The difference between Morales and Matsui is not worth a int walk.
Good thing this isn't the 2009 World Series
Good point, very observant.
Have we lost this shit yet?
Be patient.

We’ll get there.

Gotta drag it out...
m's need a dp rite here
But he's only batting .241 with 4 HR's!
Reply fail.
No Sims, we have not been entertained. Not in the least.
One way or another this better be the last fucking inning.

I’m running out of alcohol.

WHERE THE HELL WAS THAT?
GODDAMMIT NO!
Come the fuck on Ump.
What the fuck!?
That one must have missed too far to the middle
So that was a strike
THAT BALL WAS RIGHT DOWN THE FUCKING MIDDLE
THEY'RE GOING TO WALK WITH THE BASES LOADED JUST TO SHOVE IT IN OUR FACES AREN'T THEY
I suspect the hearts of all the little leaguers in attendance are about to be broken
I want robots. NOW!
BALL WTF BALL!
Was that 4th pitch as good as gameday thinks?
Yes it was right down the middle
STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIKE THREE!
Goddamn it.
Yay.

We lost!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Game over.
Shit.

I hope your happy Don.

Pitch four was not a strike and pitch five was.
Pitch three: also not a strike, but pitch two was.
Wow. Just wow.
EXPECT ANYTHING DIFFFERENT?!?!
Thanks Sweeney.
FUCKING MATSUI
I'm so sick of umpires. I'm so sick of Mike Sweeney. I'm so sick of Don Wakamatsu.
FUCK YOU MIKE SWEENEY

FUCK YOU DAVID AARDSMA

FUCK YOU UMP

.......FUCK YOU MIKE SWEENEY
I hope Mike Sweeney gets anally violated by a porcupine.
Why do you hate pocupines?
at least it will end this inning
Aw shoot.
Oh man we're going to have to score a run this inning
We're boned.
I'm not gonna lie

I feel like breaking down and crying right now.

I have had this in my subject line since Ichiro's AB in the 9th:
A win! A win! I’m gonna cry!

Just waiting for the chance to hit post. And now this. I am going to cry.

I will too

This is horrible though. Jeeze.

I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A MILLION DECOMPOSING DICKS
DECOMPOSING DICKS WOULD BE EASIER TO SWALLOW
BUT WAY WEIRD TEXTURE
ASPHYXIATION BY CONFUSION
5.5 games back is really kind of a lot.
Yes, yes it is.
Yeah, especially with our offense.
SELL SELL SELL SELL!
call up all of our prospects and get rid of all the dead weight
Please use proper capitalization in your future posts
NICE FUCKING JOB UMPIRE PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT....WHAT THE-GAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH
I can't take this. Call me fairweather, whatever.

I’m not watching tomorrow.

GODDAMN COCKSUCKING UMPIRES! FUCK THOSE FUCKING FUCKERS!

Ahem, robots please.

Is it wrong that

I’m kinda hoping we lose so that there’s a very clear loss that can be directly attributed to Sweeney?

THATS THE SILVER LINING
Already forgotten Lee's debut game?

I envy you.

Except he tied the game.
BUT HE BATTLED
So did Custer.
Believe Big...

…losing streaks are going to happen all season.

BURN THE TREE?
TO THE ROOTS
THERE IS NO FLOOR
Have we covered them all? Oh wait...

SWEENEY SUCKS

.
Everything is Rob Johnson’s fault.
THEN CHOP DOWN THE TREE AND CUT IT INTO BOARDS AND BUILD A FLOOR

PROBLEMS SOLVED

Sigh.

Bottomless pit of baseball hell
I see a bottom.
But it's so far down!

That’s where I land. A bottomless hit wouldn’t end in death, but this…

Thats an illusion, it's actually just a thing that kills Felix, Franklin, and Ackley.
So Ichiro survives? There is a bright side!

Needs more despair. Work on it, people!

Nah Ichiro died long before this event.
Don't worry guys! I am sure that Mike Sweeney will save the day

with his grit and clubhouse influence!

He’s such a nice guy and such a great clubhouse chemistry influence that the ball will literally become bewitched by him and land for a game winning hit. Probably with the bases loaded.

If Mike Sweeney is on this roster tomorrow....

…just close the book on the season. And don’t open it again. Sell your tickets, get a refund on your MLB.TV subscription even though that’s totally not possible, and then contemplate suicide. A team that bats Mike Sweeney in high leverage situations just doesn’t want to win enough.

Mike Sweeney leaving won't save this team.
I don't think that's his point.
Proper capitalization please.

mike sweeney.

Yeah, totally not my point.

Hence the: “A team that bats Mike Sweeney in high leverage situations just doesn’t want to win enough.”

Time to trade Lee now.

Can probably get more for him earlier in the season than just before the playoffs.

Jesus fuck.
Overreact much?
Have you been watching the same games I have?

Seriously.

Yes we have been.

You are overreacting. At worst after today we will be 5.5 games out. Plus, Lee is worth Type A compensation.

So cool it.
We've all been watching the same games

This team isn’t realistically going to trade Lee now, and if you didn’t feel like trading Lee was a good idea 3 or 4 games ago, you shouldn’t feel like trading him now.

Have you been reading the same blog I have?

You should be smarter than this by now.

Let's trade Felix as well
That'd be stupid seeing how Lee is a rental and Felix is ours.
Hey both are stupid!
Eat a large caliber bullet.
Nonono Robert

he wasn’t really saying we should trade Felix.

I don't have any
If I did, it would be in Mike Sweeney's fucking head
Now I'm worried

This hole just keeps getting deeper

We scored 3 runs!

PROGRESS!

Fuck progress!

I want a win, god dammit!

Fuck progress I want a win.
Hey shawn where the hell you been?
Game is not over.

Just FYI.

Langerhans! Fuentes!
Sadly, when I came back in the room at the commercial, I just assumed it was.
Whew...

For a second I thought we might win this…

Well at least Rodney sucks.
It'll be Shields.
Well at least he's...old
Hey, asswipes. There's still half an inning left for us to score.

Take your head out of your asses and fucking root, root, root, dammit.

We couldn't score with 3 walks in the 9th inning.
and no outs...
And the last time we had a hit was Josh Wilson's spectacular grounder...
there's more utility

in losing this game and the slight glimmer that it gets Sweeney dropped than there is winning it at this point. This team is so broken that wins with the current roster don’t really serve us that well.

You people make me sick.
I'm on your side on this one.
So... I'm not just a crazy fan?

Hope is a good thing?

Hope is very much a good thing

Also it is foolish.

Aww shucks and here I thought we had it
We still could have it
I CANT FIND ANY HEROIN
how about a heroine?
Danielle Lawrie?
Walkoff dinger!
What about the whores?
THIS NEIGHBORHOOD IS TOO NICE
Boy and I told you you were lying
Go on the internet. You can get outcall. Elite International.

Tell’m Ignacio sent you.

He doesn't want a male prostitute.
IT DOESNT REALLY MATTER ANYMORE
The hookers weren't a problem though?
My bad. But, for the record, you did leave it in the freezer. I always look in the freezer first.
ONLY WEED IN THERE
Why did Wak keep Aardsma in for a second inning?

Does he give Don sexual favors?

He was at 9 pitches and is one of our best relievers.
He only threw 9 pitches

Can’t argue with that one, imo

Reggie Willits would be the worlds greatest tee-ball player
No to do that you have to swing
But nobody would be better at drawing pictures in the infield dirt
Oh if that's how we're measuring greatness then yes
Sounds like we need to bring him aboard as a consultant for our fantasy team,
Word
Fucking Matthew didn't take his responsible serious enough
He never does.
Also his mom brings the best juice boxes

Those two categories are by far the most important

Bottom of our order coming up... Christ
There's only two guys worth a shit in the entire order.

I guess Chone’s walks are worth something. What do I know. Eyebrows is a fucking idiot.

We're gonna win this game.
We are going to win! This ship is going to be righted tonight!

Believe Big, even when the odds seem against you.

EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS!
clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap
clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap

eric bedard just broke his ring finger doing that BTW

Jack Wilson broke his wrist.
EVERYBODY JUMP OFF A BRIDGE!
thwackthwackthwackthwackthwackthwackthwackthwack
Do you pinch hit for Wilson even though we don't have a replacment for him?
I would think you pinch hit for RoJo because you do have a replacement for him.
I'd consider batting Saunders for one and Grif for the other
Pinch hit with who?

‘Cause I’d rather have Wilson batting than… him.

No but you surely pinch hit for Johnson.
I don't see why not. It's not like he's going to play defense if he fails.
Langerhans can't even get a walkoff now.

Tragedy.

Langy, Wilson, Rob...inspiring.
At least if anyone gets on it will be Ichi time.
This is an improvement.

But it must be frustrating in that clubhouse.

Strikeout, popout, groundout.
Hey wait a second, didn't Langerhans hit two walkoffs last year?

Hope-we can believe in!

Yeah probably not off LHP though.
And not when he leads off.
JP Howell is left-handed.
As is Craig Breslow.
Brewers score 17 runs.

I cannot even fathom such a number.

I'm pretty sure that's about half the runs we've scored this year.
Mariners can only count to 3.

One higher than Yuni!

One, two... many.
Hey look, it's another Angel's closer that sucks!
C'MON DINGERHANS
Well at least we can't pinch hit with Griffey with Fuentes up.
Oh yes it's Failtes!
I hate Brian Fuentes
Whatever happens here Fuentes gets the loss

for having that moustache

It's really awful
They should put a sign under the Aurora Bridge

LOOKOUT! LANDING!

Well there goes our one hope.
More groundballs to second, please!
Jeff Cirillo Trade!
We're not going to score
What a ballsy prediction.
Why is everyone trying to bunt for a base hit?
We could use one of those homerun thingys right about now.
What's a Homerun?
Is this item new?
We don't believe in those
Yeah its not in our "belief system"
*home* *run*?

Quit making words up!

HIT A HOME RUN JOSH WILSON AND I STILL WON'T LIKE YOU BUT IT WILL BE A START
Jesus Christ you are bad
He's a gamer
He probably heard you and just wanted to make you even more mad at him.
Well fuck him
Well now you can hate him all the more!
This is sad.
Shouldn't we be getting used to it?
The hell was that?
Josh Wilson is terrible.
Why is Rob Johnson going to the plate?
Because Wak doesn't care.
Who's going to hit for him?

Griffey? Moore? Injured Wilson?

I can't believe he's one of our better hitters
PLEASE DONT" LET HIM HIT
If you're talking to Fuentes you're going to be happy in a sec
ROBO ROB!! OUR SAVIOR!!
At least Rob Johnson gets his shot!
WHY THE FUCK IS ROB JOHNSON BATTING?
Up to you, Rob.
Can we pinch hit Kimbo Slice?

Maybe he’d get lucky and connect.

He got his ass kicked tonight so no.
Big Bad Buck!
This losing streak has been one big abortion
This is worse than an abortion.

After an abortion, you’re no longer pregnant. After this, we still suck.

Oh good, it's up to Rob Johnson.
Why on earth would you not pinch-hit now?
Because everybody else is either lefty, hurt or Adam Moore?
I'd still rather have Griffey up there than ROB JOHNSON.

Lefty or not.

That's dumb.

Really, really dumb.

RALLY POINT RIGHT HERE
Boy if you thought Fuentes vs Ibanez was silly!
That's foolish.
Johnson used up his homer for the year?
Oh opening day.
Rob Johnson is a rare talent.

I am in awe of his pure physical abilities every time I witness his Greatness.

Is it safe to say that Wakamatsu can't manage?
What a fitting end.
Has Don conceded this season?
So we're 5.5 games behind Texas now?
Seriously, what has Rob Johnson got on Wak that could be this damning?
Erik Bedard may want to take his 1.5M and just phone it in this year
Vargas looks like he is already depressed by the run support he is going to get tomorrow.
Vargas always looks depressed and hungover.

Those sunken eyes are a little bit disturbing.

Seriously-

Who would we pinch hit with?

At least Brian Fuentes will be one game closer to reaching his 55 games ended!
What's the franchise record losing streak?
Rob Johnson game tying HR incoming?
DOUBLE
HIT A DOUBLE BUCK
FUCK YOU BUCK
Pinch hit Jason Vargas? Are you allowed to do that?
There is goes...

8 in a row..

Un-fucking-believabel!
Boo the fuck out of this team.
That was a fitting end.
Fuck. This. Shit.

Die in a fire, Sweeney. And Rob Johnson. You, too.

well

that was surprising

If I were Vargas tomorrow I'd just start the game by hitting every Angel batter in Doc Ellis fashion
seriously can we just let him bat instead of our DH combo?
BUT THEY"RE HAVING FUN
:( :( :( :( :( :(

TRY WINNING

They did try

:(

Thats subjective.
Three extra inning loses at home. That's gotta hurt.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mike Sweeney needs to get cancer, get better, then get AIDS.
He'd be with us longer?
I'm starting to think we wouldn't let Sweeney go even if did have a debilitating illness.
Anyone in that clubhouse who keeps talking about "not hitting the panic button"

Someone should hit it soon. We can’t lose these games.

I was worried you had actually taken your own suggestion seriously.

Glad to see you didn’t jump off a bridge.

I'm glad I did not either. But this is extremely depressing.
I hope Sweeney hugs a landmine
We are awesome in extra innings.
All you had to do was not swing Sweeney sigh...
This is always his problem
I actually had a few moments of hope.
baseball is gay
No, the Mariners are gay.
No it is the entire fucking sport
Even when the Angels are crap, they are still so much better than the Ms.
I was worried that Sweeney would actually help us win this one

Luckily he is awful.

I'm trying to be really, really angry right now.

I’m mostly just apathetic, though. We need to win, so I can get angry when we lose the next eight in a row.

I skipped napping to listen to the ninth inning and make a victory gif celebration
Suck it faggo
It's ok guys we'll get them tomorrow :)
can we bring brooms for a sweep of our team?
Also when does it become acceptable to wear paper bags over our heads to the game.
If you've lost eight in a row at home, I'm fairly sure you can go ahead.
Back to burning off my leg hair with a bic ligher I guess.
I like the smell of burning leg hair.
Texas are going to win the division by 800 games
Texas are? Are you British now?
It sounds better
Please proof read your comments before you hit post :)
I approve of this use of language.
Post game interview with Wak...

I was pleased with the effort the guys gave- they never stopped fighting. Sweeney had a nice long at bat, and hit the ball hard, so we’re moving him up to the clean-up spot tomorrow. Rob Johnson was just great, he really showed what an athlete he was getting that pop-up, so we’ll start him tomorrow too- hitting third. I’m not worried, we have a belief system.

Jesus Christ it's difficult to tell that that's a joke.
well jeff, your "worst case scenario" at the begining of the year is way off
HE LIED TO US WITH HIS TERRIBLE PREDICTION
Fuck off, troll.
fuck the angels? help
That's the ticket!
So at least we scored runs tonight
Come on guys, things could be worse.
We said this last week too.

And we were right!

Ichiro, Felix and Guti aren't dead yet.

I’m so thrilled.

We could have three completely useless DH's.
Remember 2008? at this date, we were 14-22.
You're right it's time to panic
But buried in the AL West.

We’re only 5.5 out right now.

Aw man, we just got the greenlight to panic
Oh wait a second, we're 11-19. That's just as bad.
We could be without a Belief System.

Then where the fuck would we be?

In first place.
Yeah, but we'd be nihilists.
Say what you will about Wak's belief system, but at least it is an ethos.
Hell, I'm tired of waiting till next year.

Wake me up in 2013.

Assuming that the world doesn't end in 2012
Maybe the M's could get Danielle Lawrie to lead batting practice tomorrow?
FSN is replaying the ninth.

:(

And they called Sweeney's AB "great."
Geoff Baker just posted on his blog that the team needs to play Sweeney every day.
He's just trolling
Geoff Baker is a professional troll
I'd rather him than Griffey
If the options are Griffey and Sweeney, I'd rather see Sweeney.

But frankly I’d rather see Tommy Everidge than both of them.

Yup, might as well go with Nelson and Everidge if there is no other option besides Griffey/Sweeney.
If you had a gun to your head and had to pick one, yup. Definitely Sweeney over Griffey.
I'd pick the gun I think
I'd pick neither and be shot in the head rather than have to experience another at bat like tonight's.
Oh you and your bad analogy, of course the bullet
He also thinks we need to trade for Jose Guillen.
Someone record it and send it to Wak.
I'm composing fan mail to everybody in the clubhouse (including coaches) except Felix, Guti and Ichiro.

Because fuck them. Fuck all of them.

Seems like those are the only guys you should be sending fan mail to...

Also League, Jack Wilson and Langerhans

It's not "Can I get your autograph fanmail?"

It’s “GOD DAMMIT STOP MAKING ME CRY YOU SUCK!” fan mail.

These are the days I'm glad I can't watch postgame.
Fuck, how many times did Josh Wilson say "y'know"
At least I hope this game made clear that League > Aardsma. Kelley also.

Closer: League
Setup guy: Kelley
7th inning: Aardsma
Less important situaions: Lowe

What does a "less important situation" mean to you?
When we're losing by 1 or 2 runs.
Just making sure.
Uh, Aardsma didn't do that bad.

Really.

Thats odd.. You must have forgot White?
White: mopup
White: AAA

Fixed.

I guess it could be worse.

We could still have Ronny :(edeno

Rather him than Josh Wilson.
Heavens yes.
Wonder how long this particular game can go on for.

“It could be worse…”

A long time. Because...

THERE IS NO FLOOR!

When we are 11-150.

“Could be worse…we could lose tomorrow!”

Maybe time makes all memories sweet, but did :(edeno really have a worse bat than Josh Wilson?

He might have been able to pinchhit for Rob Johnson. Or was :(edeno really so insufferably bad?

Shazbot 'em tomorrow, fellas...

Salk just twittered that the team hasn't won since Lee debuted.

Methinks we should ride Lee out of town on a rail!

The time has come to give Barry Bonds a telephone call.

The fucking umpires are already trying to shit us up as much as they can because of Bradley or because the M’s were preseason favorites and the powers that be dont want that.

Adding the hated BB would make no more trouble for us and at least Barry, even a Barry who hasn’t seen active play in 3 or 4 years and is probably close to 50 or something, could probably hit better than any Mariner now not named Ichiro or Gutierrez.

I think that's as likely as Griffey being cut
Please trade CLiff Lee for bats.
.

Excellent, now we just need someone to swing them.
Someone in the minors got traded for bats and killed himself later, didn't he?
Was it Billy Batts?

Wait, that was the guy who got beaten up in the bar by DeNiro and Pesci in Goodfellas, while Donovan’s “Atlantis” played in the background.

Sent him up to Canada from the mid-west I think. 2007?
Hey google is my friend

You’re right

A nifty cocktail he had in his blood stream...

I like to drink when I use my meth and benzies- it takes the edge off.

I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats.
Bartender, Jobu needs a refill.
It is very bad to steal Jobu's rum.

It is VERY bad.

Up yours Jobu.
You know, you might want to take Jesus Christ as your Savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.
Ah Jesus, I like him very much.

But he no help with curve ball.

You trying to tell me Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?
Ichiro must think that we have no marbles.
I think our catcher is actually Rube from Major League 2.
Nah, Rube could actually catch the ball.
So Rob is the inverse Rube.

‘Cause Rube couldn’t throw.

Well who's got some Victoria's Secret catalogs for Rob to memorize?
Being the inverse of Rube,

Rob wouldn’t be reading the articles.

So Rob's a pervert to boot.

Great.

#6org
I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF YOU FUCKS
#4org

What the fuck is your point you fuck?

Boo...

Don’t you have a ground ball to not field that an average third basemen scoops up while you flail away as Elvis Andrus saves your ass by making a play that would make God himself fist pump?

Thanks for stopping by.
I don't get it.
It's an internet meme.

Started on 4Chat, as usual. The idea is that someone with an abnormally small penis and adequacy issues comes to a blog, website or forum and types in #6org. Kind of like “Hai” for “Hi,” the number 6 is short for “Sex.” The “ORG” is:

Orgasms
Really
Gayly.

The # symbol is because of Twitter. Like: #Sex, and then “O-R-G.” So basically, the meme is that the user with the small penis advertises that he has really gay orgasms. I know it’s pretty stupid, but it’s kind of like those flashers that run into alleys and then open their trench coat to reveal their swollen member and then runs away. Just ignore it.

I love this explaination.
I'm just going to assume you're right.

knowyourmeme has failed me in this instance.

Dave, Fangraphs, organizational rankings.

That should cover the meaning.

I was thinking it was something like that.
I like CapSea's explanation better, though.
Hashtags make everything more obnoxious.
I WILL RAPE YOUR SISTER WITH YOUR DOG THAT DIED OF CANCER
I take some responsibility for this.

I wondered aloud (in type) what the reaction would be if someone just came over and posted this here.

I didn’t expect anyone to actually do so. Sorry.

I just don't know what to say anymore.

I was watching at work and I said all Mike Sweeney needs to do is not swing and we’ll win. Once LA scored that run, I just sat there watching, knowing we weren’t going to win. I really do want to cry at this point.

How many games have we lost in the 9th inning or later?
I have a question...

Is the fans humming Seven Nation Army between at-bats new to Safeco?

Yes.

Replaced Zombie Nation tonight. I hate it.

Thanks...

At first I was thinking it was bizarre that the entire crowd had gotten in on it. It was terrifying. Then I heard the song playing at the same time and I was less unnerved.

It still ultimately sounded like the crowd was trying to summon something from beyond.

We needed it

It didn’t work.

Actually they still did the Zombie Nation "oh oh oh oh oh" thing tonight at some point too
Oh goodie, two annoying things!
I'm wondering if I can charge the Ms for my wasted time "believing big" this past week
I'm so glad I become a season ticket holder this year!

I’ve never been happier for the team to leave town. This has been extremely painful.

AZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
So after tonight.

Anybody for putting Saunders in left and just DHing Langerhans? At least he can take a pitch. (I’m only half serious.)

So I fell asleep in the 8th inning. What happened?
We won right? Nothing bad happened right?
Guys?
we are streaking towards skid marks
aw
lets get the 1995 sonics to replace 1/2 of the 25 man roster

the same players, 15 years older with no idea of how to hit a major league can do better than this club in this configuration

Please capitalize.
I'm uh not posting a chart

Go to bed.

Going the Dave route from U.S.S. Mariner I see.
It's 1:40 in the morning and the game's been over for hours
Well, would you looks at that. A loss. Meh.

Though the GTE in this gamethread was fantastic.

11-19, CHART

Aw, Homer hurt Lopez and Colome's feelings.
Hey wow I just woke up after shutting off the game in the 4th inning. We had a lead and blew it, losing in extras? AWESOME

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME.

FLOORLESS.

We never had a lead.
EVEN BETTER
I just noticed that we held a lead for only 4 innings during this losing streak.

Yay?

What does this tell us, we suck?

I think we already knew that.

Second domino falls

" Slumping Mariners fire hitting coach Cockrell "

Because clearly that will save the season
Problems Over!!!!
Because the AAA dudes are hitting soooooooooooooooooo well.
Today's lineup features Saunders in left and Langerhans at first.

So that’s something.

Griffey DH?

He always plays on Mothers Day, pink bats and all that.

Oh yes.

Batting fifth!….

Bwahahaha
shannondrayer Felix walked up to Jr gave him a big hug and wished him a happy mothers day 20 minutes ago via web

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