Biggest Contribution: Ichiro, +9.5%
Biggest Suckfest: Jose Lopez, -17.2% (or Cliff Lee, if you include his hitting)
Most Important AB: Lopez double play, -16.2%
Most Important Pitch: Gonzalez homer, -18.8%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -20.5%
Total Contribution by Lineup: -29.5%
Total Contribution by Opposition: 0.0%
(What is this chart?)
0 recs | 101 comments
Wow, Criff almost got biggest suckfest.
Coach Owens - June 12, 2010
If you feel like including his offense, he did!
But that makes me uneasy.
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
It's a good thing you don't write about an NL team.
SethGrandpa - June 12, 2010
What kind of bats will be available in the offseason?
Maury Povich - June 12, 2010
Maple, ash.
Seriously, not much on the free agent market.
Matthew - June 12, 2010
This joke required less than three jumps of logic to understand. You're losing your touch.
.Taylor - June 12, 2010
Sometimes I show my benevolence by slumming it with the commoners.
Matthew - June 12, 2010
Did anyone catch that last Dane Cook special?
Matthew - June 12, 2010
Do you all feel sufficiently connected now?
Matthew - June 12, 2010
Nope
What special?
the other side - June 12, 2010
I'm not sure L-shaped cookies would retain their shape well once cooked.
Should we test this out?
Matthew - June 12, 2010
I feel like they would just fine.
But yes, we should test this.
joof - June 12, 2010
Why wouldn't they?
They’d just be a little more rounded and fat.
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
If you rolled the dough thin, kinda like you did with play-dough as a kid
it would probably work perfectly. I’m making cookies later tonight, so I’m happy to give it a try.
bruinchick - June 12, 2010
Do you have an L-shaped cookie cutter?
We’re gonna need pictures. And some blue dye.
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
Um, my cookie cutter is heart-shaped
But I’m pretty handy with tools….
bruinchick - June 12, 2010
Exactly. My intuition says it would depend on how thin you made the cookies.
If you kept them thick, I think they would end up just looking like some fat half-crescent shape
Matthew - June 12, 2010
Everybody make cookies of varying thickness and let's report back in the morning
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
What kind of cookies?
BrianL - June 12, 2010
One kind per person
No duplicates. Gotta be thorough.
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
I'm making chocolate chip
I’m bummed and female. Any questions?
bruinchick - June 12, 2010
I'll take peanut butter.
Peanut butter is Sex. Any questions?
the other side - June 12, 2010
Mental image of that statement
Words fail me
bruinchick - June 12, 2010
If you think peanut butter is sex then I predict you will be disappointed when Jeff gives you frosting
Aaron Campeau - June 12, 2010
Frosting is a...
..nevermind. But I do like frosting.
bruinchick - June 12, 2010
I'm pretty sure you just solved my problem.
Peanut Butter → Cookies
the other side - June 12, 2010
what about "L" jello-shots?
hmm?
Kunkoh - June 12, 2010
This is like one of those word picture things right?
A cookie cutter loss?
the other side - June 12, 2010
Good boy
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
Have a cookie
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
What? No goddamn frosting?
the other side - June 12, 2010
I'll give you some frosting you ungrateful son of a bitch
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
Goddamn right.
the other side - June 12, 2010
At what point do we hope to keep losing so we can pick up #1 draft pick next year?
Belom3 - June 12, 2010
Well, it's coming rather easily these days...
bruinchick - June 12, 2010
When Strasburg re-enters the draft.
Matthew - June 12, 2010
One of my co workers reminds me daily that, had we not swept Oakland in the last series in 2008, we would have had #1 pick in 09.
Belom3 - June 12, 2010
Maybe that person thinks you have a memory problem.
You should look into that. And make sure to write it down if you do, in case you forget because of your memory problem.
Matthew - June 12, 2010
I don't remember what you were talking about.
I think I might have a memory problem.
the other side - June 12, 2010
In 2008, we ended with 101 losses. The Nat's had 102. Had we been swept by Oakland, we'd have Strasburg now.
I mean, theoretically.
Belom3 - June 12, 2010
Son of a bitch.
the other side - June 12, 2010
I sure hope we can keep talking about this several times every day
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
*every thread.
the other side - June 12, 2010
At first I thought the picture was showcasing LL's new brand of blow.
Double06 - June 12, 2010
We've lost five in a row and the Pirates have lost seven.
Fuckers.
JY - June 12, 2010
They've been doing it longer.
More experienced.
the other side - June 12, 2010
If they win before us, I'm moving to Missouri and becoming a Royals fan.
At least they are consistent…
Belom3 - June 12, 2010
I'm living your dream.
The Mariners are still #1 but I have tried to throw myself behind my new hometown team. Your beer intake will increase exponentially (not that this is always a bad thing).
KC Mariner - June 12, 2010
Why do you think the LL beer threads are so well-informed?
JY - June 12, 2010
By September we might have to have some hard liquor threads.
KC Mariner - June 12, 2010
Oh, good. I always wanted to be the resident expert
in something, anyway
bruinchick - June 12, 2010
Oh I do hope so.
Rachmaninoff - June 13, 2010
Darn.
Goose - June 12, 2010
Is it sad that I want this team to lose as much as possible?
I really, really want that 1st round draft pick. Get better, Baltimore.
seiferguy - June 12, 2010
I really don't want the first pick.
There are already enough people calling for Wak’s and Z’s heads on a platter. Having the bottom fall out on this season more than it already has will only fuel that fire.
KC Mariner - June 12, 2010
Are you kidding?
I want that first pick so bad that I’m just rooting for individual players at this point. People like Saunders, Ichiro!, FranklinFranklin, Felix, Figgy; people who can contribute in the future. People not named Rob Johnson. I really don’t care about the team anymore. As a matter of fact, I want the team to lose because Anthony Rendon is totally worth having the worst record in the league.
On that note, Jeff/Matthew, I am going to beg for the RendonMeter, a measure of the worst 5 teams in the league. On second thought, that would be kind of detrimental if your blog was actively rooting against the team, but yea. Just throwing the idea out there.
perfectstrat - June 12, 2010
No, I'm not kidding.
I’ve been a Mariners fan long enough that I’m sick of competing for the #1 pick. I’m so tired of having the bottom fall out on a season and then looking towards next year in June. I want to see improvement so people know Z’s vision and plan for the team is on the right track. I know it, most of the fans on this site know it, but the vast masses of people who “clap, clap, clap, clap” whenever they are told don’t and if ownership has shown us anything it’s those people that matter most to them.
I want to see regular playing time for some of the few young guys on the roster we have that could possibly have a role in 2011 and beyond, but seeing them fail to the point that we limp to the worst record in the league after we had some hope going into this season is not a blueprint for future success for this franchise. A 1st pick next year means Jack’s neck is on the block and if the team doesn’t pull a 2007/2009 out of their ass next year he’s done. I don’t want to see him go into panic mode with so little money (presumably) to spend this off season and so many holes. He’s got a plan, most of us here buy into it, but a complete collapse in 2010 will do nothing to help that plan or prove Z is the guy to get the job done in the minds of most paying fans.
KC Mariner - June 12, 2010
The biggest difference between this season and most preceding it, at least for me.
The big money contracts. The majority of these guys are being paid market value for projected production, and the rest are team control players. For Felix’ and Guti’s projections, the contracts favor the team. Nearly all the rest of these jokers can take a hike and we’re still right here, certainly not much worse. Big, big difference between now and ’08, at least in my estimation.
Kermit. - June 12, 2010
I think we're in a much better position too.
While having the worst record in the league would come with the silver lining of getting Rendon I think it would be case of winning the battle (Yay! #1 pick for us!) but losing the war (front office and fanbase support for Z). The ownership has shown repeatedly that they are very sensitive to the casual fanbase and those fans aren’t going to grasp the finer points of building a team, only that they were told we’d be good this year and we sucked and someone should be blamed.
KC Mariner - June 12, 2010
I sure hope we can keep talking about this several times every day
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
We're nothing if not good at killing memes and beating dead horses.
JLProck - June 13, 2010
Worked with Strasburg.
JY - June 13, 2010
Strasburg was Strasburg.
It’s not cute with Rendon.
Aaron Campeau - June 13, 2010
Right.
Strasburg is a once in a generation pitcher, so it’s not the same.
also we had a chance of catching the Nats, whereas at this point I’d expect us to probably land the #3 pick.
JY - June 13, 2010
I went through my whole day with the game barely registering in my mind.
Life is beautiful down here on the tropic.
Benne - June 12, 2010
Please let me know how to get below the 23rd parallel- or is the Tropic of Cairo the 13th parallel?
RustyJohn - June 12, 2010
I'm curious... at some point, if we lose enough, does the win expectancy START below 0.5?
Belom3 - June 12, 2010
See: Every Non Cliff/Felix start.
the other side - June 12, 2010
No
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
The odd couple?
Larry!
Brian Floyd - June 12, 2010
I liked this at first.
Cliff Lee is awesome. He’s a joy to watch pitch and now he’s stepping up to take a visible leadership role on the team. That made me happy. Then I remembered he’s probably going to leave us soon and it made me sad. This season is seriously testing my love for this team.
KC Mariner - June 12, 2010
Apparently Figgins was the third orchestrating the meeting, too.
Brian Floyd - June 12, 2010
Maybe he was telling the guys what he wanted for a going away present.
RustyJohn - June 12, 2010
Tractors!
Slurvey - June 12, 2010
Big F'ing Deal
Just shut up and play better, you assholes…
tait644 - June 12, 2010
Someone needs a hug.
RustyJohn - June 12, 2010
Or a cookie.
Jeff is making cookies for everyone.
the other side - June 12, 2010
No I'm not
Everyone is making cookies for science.
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
Yeah, like I'm giving any of mine away.
Stay the hell back.
the other side - June 12, 2010
The thing is, I'm totally at peace with the losses.
These idiotic player-only meetings, however….
tait644 - June 12, 2010
Well, they're for themselves. Not you.
ThundaPC - June 12, 2010
A helluva lot of good they are doing, too!
tait644 - June 12, 2010
You have no idea what's going on in the clubhouse.
You have no idea what they’re talking about in those meetings. If there are people on the team that thinks they might help, why wouldn’t you want them to try? It seems like a really bizarre thing to get upset about.
Aaron Campeau - June 12, 2010
I think you need a cookie too.
the other side - June 12, 2010
If you're giving them away, I'll take one. Without frosting, please.
Kermit. - June 12, 2010
Jeff is being a bitch about frosting anyway.
the other side - June 12, 2010
"Most of us are out of here at the end of this year. Up high!"
CapSea - June 13, 2010
I must be an idiot,
cause I keep thinking maybe the M’s could talk Cliff into staying. God this team sucks!
Bart's Evil Twin - June 12, 2010
Given the supposed depth of the draft next year
as well as teams’ increasing reluctance to give up prospects for rentals, it might behoove us to hold on to Cliff.
tait644 - June 12, 2010
While I'm not pleased that three of us sat through that piece of shit and spent our own money to do so, we did get soccer-style Padres scarves!
abender20 - June 12, 2010
Scarves up San Diego!
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
If it weren't for all the lovely beer at Downtown Johnny Brown's and the ridiculously good burrito that followed it, I'd have used that scarf to make a noose for Sean White.
abender20 - June 12, 2010
On a related note, does anyone else think that Chris Jakubauskas' most appropriate death would be by hanging?
Jeff Sullivan - June 12, 2010
You'd never kill him. He'd just stretch to the ground.
abender20 - June 12, 2010
.
msb - June 13, 2010
Free crap makes everything better. Plus, scarves come in handy in the cold, snowy confines of PetCo Park.
RustyJohn - June 12, 2010
Technically it was an 18 dollar scarf that came with the requirement that I antagonize myself with everything that came after Cliff.
abender20 - June 12, 2010
Would have been better if it was Mexican Poncho night.
RustyJohn - June 13, 2010
When you put it that way Mariner giveaways are ripoffs
Jeff Sullivan - June 13, 2010
But the Cooperstown bobble head has been valued at $6000
killer_ewok18 - June 13, 2010
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