SB Nation - Login for mobile commenting

Lookout Landing

6/3: Open Game Thread, Part 2

We are the best 21-31 baseball team ever.

1 recs  |  707 comments

Comments

Milton needs to start hitting.
Hes a human wrecking ball
Thread 1 hidden in 3....2....
I think you mean Threa
d's are overrated
6/3: Open Game Threa, Part 2
I'm scared of this inning
Slightly less so now
This inning is cute
All fear the three "ballers"
I think it was "maulers."
that would be a little less awkward
Sims used the word "maul" the other day.

I think it was “And the mauling continues…” He may be developing a new favorite word.

Woooo Felix!
That was a beautiful pitch.
Good let's have the Twins rally
Dave Simms

Standards!

Sims
Sexton
No I believe you are incorrect.
It bothers me people can't get names right when they are spelled on the screen every game.
You're assuming people know how to read
Screen?

Where is that on my radio cast?

Oof

You’re right, apologies.

Blowers with a nice voice crack there.
Fuck this, we got the fries, let's scram
OT: Lakers up 10+
Lakers in the finals again?

Whatever.

Stern rigged it again.
UW Softball up 3-1 in the 4th.
Tiger Woods 7 back at Memorial

What are we doing here?

Lakers up 19 in the 4th quarter.
Concord Blue Devils up two points on the rest of the field.
15. Suck it Bawstun.
It was over at halftime.
NBA.

Ehhh.

What's an nba?
One of them salary capped sports.
Are they playing the 1998 Chicago Bulls?
Stop showing the rally fries.
Go Mariners!
FSN cameras are so confused by our outfield's range.
Worst defense in the league.
in...tears....

http://tweetphoto.com/25461195

Dear. God.
Oh holy Christ
Holy Santa Claus shit
This shit isn't funny
You love this night.
It just isn't as fresh
What if next year I made you a fan trailer?

Behind the music style?

I think I might be too busy to appreciate this thread in all its splendor
lso yes
Also
Deal.
Also I have rec'd nearly all of your work
I'll double check this.
Confirmed.

Minus the rash….

That was hidden because my goodness
Did he actually post the rash again?
This was a new one, in gif form
I haven't seen either. :(
Remind me to show you it later.
Bahahahahahahahaha
OMG

I… I love it. OMG. I want to move to Seattle! :(

You can have Carl Pavano if we can have LOLCat night.
He’s got the porn stache…!

What’s that, you want Joe? Well… Maybe…

Deal!
Throw in Scruffy or no deal
Deal's off.
You could have...

The standard Twins trade package:
Tolbert, Casilla, Brian Buscher (or was he claimed off waivers? Hell if I know!), and Glen Perkins…

That and Mauer for Scruffy and LOLCat Night. I bet our shitty utility infielders can outhit your shitty utility infielders!

Did you just say we get Mauer????

Sorry Scruffy you are gone.

I would take that one for the team.
This is better then when I was optioned to Single A Halo's Heaven.
Hahahaha

Oh dear.. Oh dear.

I've reconsidered

I think we would trade Joe for Scruffy, LOLCat night, and uhhh… Rob Johnson. We could eat him.

I'm only rec'ing this because it's you
Felix

The sequence of pitches he threw to Mauer and Morneau almost identical

Awesomeness defined

You know what’s coming and you can’t stop it.

Well at least Kotch made him work
I really can't stand to watch Kotchman for much longer
maybe I'll sit down
Dave doing a callout to Griffey on the radio
He said some kind words on the TV side
Those watching...

was that 4th pitch as terrible as it appeared on gameday? Gameday put it almost in the dirt.

Mike Sweeney has a .806 OPS
So when does Mangini get called up?

Park adjusted wOBA is .460.

There are already lasers set up around home plate for balls and strikes, Blowers
I was not aware of this.
Bull shit.

Pics or didn’t happen.

Jack Wilson is so out of a job.
The Paperboy:

COLLECTS SUBSCRIPTIONS!

Just got caught up on the last game thread.

Must…breathe…..

Well done Rob, your mom would be proud.
Like. Clockwork.
Rob Johnson, everybody!
Rob Johnson is so out of a job
OH MY GOD ROB JOHNSON YOU ARE THE WORST BASEBALL PLAYER I'VE EVER WATCHED

I HATE YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN YUNI

There you go, let it out.
At least Yuni was fast and, on occasion, clutch.
Rob doesn't know what this "clutch" thing is

Hence all these fucking passed balls.

Oh Rob

God you suck.

ROB JOHNSON IS HISTORY'S GREATEST MONSTER
That DP was Rob Johnson's fault
Honest question

Has there been a player that you’ve hated more than Rob Johnson?

Ayala? Mesa?

No one. Absolutely no one.
On my own team?

Hard to think of one.

Ayala by a mile
Spezio
Yeah actually, Player A might beat him.
Yes, but the pain that Rob causes is fresh.
A-Rod.

But only after he left.

While he was on the team: Ayala probably wins.

Ayala.
Ayala did well for a while though.

People always just choose to ignore this due to 1998.

That may be true.

Doesn’t change the fact that he was the first player I ever hated. One of his implosions is still the only game I have ever left early where someone I was with wasn’t sick.

I will never hate him as much as RoJo, or Mesa, or Slocumb, or Cirillo, or Player A.

He’s not even in the upper echelon of bad Mariners.

To each their own.

I think it’s mainly just because he was the first, and I was probably young and stupid for hating him as much as I did.

Eh, I understand the hate.

He had an ERA above 7. I mostly blame Piniella for continuing to trot someone with that high of an ERA out there.

Yeah, its a shame he was a raging alcoholic or whatever his problem was, because I remember he was pretty solid back around 94.
Jeff Cirillo is the first that comes to mind for me.
Ayala. Mesa is a very, very close second.
Ayala, Slocumb, and Mesa ruined my first years of fandom
The bullpen in general those years was a conspiracy to make life miserable for Mariner fans.
I will always hate Woodward for those awful bullpens.

Fuck, even Bavasi could build a decent pen out of spare parts. It’s one of the least-hard tasks a GM can do.

Bavasi had Safeco to work with.
Giovanni Carrara
Jeff Weaver maybe.
Silva and its not even close.
Speaking as a Twins fan

God am I glad we didn’t resign him. Thank heaven for Bill Bavasi. Or whoever your old GM was.

That's the dumbass!
To be fair

Prior to going to Seattle, with an excellent infield defense behind him, Silva was merely bad.

He turned on the afterburners of suck after he got to you fellas. :)

Batista and Silva
I hate you Rob.
I am Rob Johnson.

Hitting into DP’s is what I do.

The first line from his pornographic film.
Fuck

I totally forgot it was Cheezeburger night… Scruffy, I love you

For whoever was asking in the previous thread who was on the cover of Triple Play 98 . . .

Brian Jordan!

Atlanta Falcons!
I know his nephew!

Not that anyone cares!

He used to be that good?
In 1997, he got hurt and managed a .580 OPS
I had to look this up, too.

Then I remembered that back then they used to name the games a year ahead of time. Triple Play 98 came out before the 1997 season.

Retarded

Also, curse!

Hell yeah
He was good!
Have they played Snoqualmie yet tonight?

Haven’t heard it.

The Snoqualmie Casino ads have been for a MMA show.
Did I mention I'm possibly doing the ads for Silver Reef Casino?
Yes.

We are happily anticipating.

Everybody likes the catchy 'We come again" stuff you should try something like that.
How has Felix looked?
Meh first inning.

Businesslike since then.

Felixy

1 run, 4 hits.

Slow start

But once he got through that he has been totally locked in.

Watching Ichiro catch a ball makes my knees weak with adoration
Wait

Denard Span and Delmon Young aren’t the same person?

OT, Lakers walk away with a boring easy win in game 1

102-89.

Fuck.

Really, who cares what happens in a fixed league?
It was horrible

Because you had two teams that games are fixed for, lots of fouls.

Odom must have shown up?
No Gasol kicked ass

KG played like total shit as well.

NOBODY CARES
He's droppin the curve

like its hot!

SAUNDERS!

MY OH MY!

Hot diggity damn!
WORST DEFENSE IN BASEBALL!
Saunders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Condor!!!1
THE CONDOR SWOOPING IN!!!
Fuck

We need Lowe back

Need more runs!

Cordero soft landing!

Roof closing

Yeah we might need more runs.

Saunders hits everything hard.
Insert domestic violence joke here
Someone almost got hit by the condor
I am finding that my interest in this team is directly correlated to Saunders' level of success
my goodness

The twins are slumping

or were that good
Isn't this implied by "slumping"?
Another on-air namedrop for Red
Wearing the tote bag!
What was with the tote bag?
For the ladies
Is that the 'ladies day' tote?

Is ladie’s day overlapping with lol-cat?!?

Ahem.

ladies.

Yes, it's girls night out as well tonight.
That's just crazy!
"Bring your girlfriends"
Too much fun!

My head is asploding!

Look, he's toying with him!
Looks like Griffey got an early start on retirement.
According the graphic

Griffey retired twice.

Griffey retired in '87?
He then proceeded to make one hell of a comeback
Awww, fuck you, Valencia.
He has a hit streak to keep up you asshole 3rd baseman!
Dave, you really dont' need to mention 3 times an inning

That Valenica is making his MLB debut…

Is he now?
Anybody have that King Felix thats in the ad on ussmariner?

Have to get one of those.

Hernandez hit 96

in the 8th. That’s quality.

And he has some sick movement tonight too.
UW softball team tied 3-3 vs. Georgia

Bottom 5 of their opening game at the College Softball World Series.

Nobody cares about that game either
I bet their families do.
They aren't real people
Don't call him a nobody!
Just flipped over to ESPN and saw the score during a TV timeout

I could care less either.

You COULD NOT care less

If you could care less, that means you care more than “not at all”

Sorry, pet peeve of mine, but I always notice it.

SEX ME RAW FELIX
I want to jack off to this start
Done and done
Started out frustrating but pretty much sex now.
For those who are not LoLcat fans their entire tactical command is here if you wanted to slay the beast.
Might hit Felix or Guti in the crossfire. Almost worth it still.
Fucking Rob Johnson.
Oh fuck you ROb
God dammit Rob.
Rob Johnson needs to be fucking sterilized
4 SO inning incoming
We better never have a Furry Night

Poor Moose.

I want to kill Rob Johnson
Rob fuckin' Johnson
ROB JOHNSON IS QUITE UNLIKEABLE
ROB FUCKING JOHNSON EVERYBODY.
Rob Johnson, ladies and gentlemen...
Dear Rob

You suck.

Rob Johnson is a professional catcher.
OUR CATCHER IS BETTER THAN YOUR CATCHER.

It’s almost not fair to make fun of Rob, is it?

Rob Johnson deserves drawn and quartered
Rob Johnson is Rob Johnson.
How much shorter would these threads be if "Fuck you, Rob Johnson" comments weren't allowed?
You are fucking terrible in every possible way Rob Johnson.
Rob Johnson couldn't have done anything on that
Yup Felix's fault
The chest protector?

I mean, he really didn’t even try

The ball bounced out at a crazy angle

No prayer

Rob Johnson is an asshole
Rob Johnson is a professional catcher.
Garret Olsen. Very afraid.
Neihaus is really getting in to it on the radio

It’s hilarious.

I love you Dave, never leave me
Dave is the best.
I'm a Twins fan

And he is pretty good.

That was a fantastic call.
I want Rob Johnson to die and be a cheap funeral
Nice fucking pitch.
Come on 4k inning.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS
TIme to enjoy some nice red wine, Carlo Rossi
FELIX YOU SEXY FUCKING BEAST
Our catcher is better than your catcher!

Speaking as a Twins fan, Rob Johnson and his passed balls give me hope.

Felix makes me cry.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAA
4 K'S WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
God I love that man
4 SO COURTESY OF ROB JOHNSON
KKKK~!~!~!~!~!

SO SICK.

ROB SHOULD'VE DROPPED THAT

SO HE COULD GET 5

That. Was. Awesome!
THIS IS THE FELIX I'VE BEEN WAITING TO SEE

FUCKING BRILLIANT! 4K INNING!

Struck out the side anyway!
4 STRIKEOUT INNING!

FELIX YOU ARE THE KING!!!

Morneau just got Felix'd.
WOOOO 4 STRIKEOUTS!!!
Thank you Felix. I love you.
Hell fucking Yes!!!
FELIX SAYS "I NO WANT THREE, I WANT FO"
See Rob had a secert plan all along

No I don’t believe that either

One day, Rob's gonna fuck into a 5 strikeout inning for Felix
*fuck up into
I see Nasty Felix has finally returned.

This is what we were looking for from Lee/Felix.

Seriously though fuck you Rob.
Felix has...

the 4th best ERA of our starters.

This is like 1997…only backwards.

TIme to enjoy some nice red wine, Carlo Rossi
28 out perfect games, 4K innings...

But I ain’t never seen an elephant fly…

I want to see the head-butt.
"He looks like a weight lifter after lifting 2,000 pounds."

Niehaus is my favorite.

He's not allowed to retire
Seriously, the only way for him to go is during a ballgame

Like the Ms win the World Series and BOOM, instant massive stroke.

Quick, painless, dies happy.

Jesus, that sounds kinda sadistic actually.

Shut up, please.
Damn

come on I was completely kidding. i love dave

At least it was a polite command.

Contemplating someone’s death: not the sincerest form of flattery.

Yeah you have a point

I apologize if I was out of line.

HAHAHAHA did the FSN promo really just use the Kendry Morales footage in their promo?
I WANT YOU TAKE YOU THROUGH EACH AND EVERY HOLE IN MY BODY.
I think this is more graphic than anything Scruffy's done.
I think it's romantic
Nick Franklin, nice.
Huh

http://mlb.mlb.com/social/hitpix/index.jsp?blast=mwaldron.mlb&page_num=0&photoid=2174

GET SOME NOTROB
I love the Beauty Queen pose.
I like that guy more every day
Not Rob Johnson's got game?
Cardboard cutout?
Did I not already post this?
Fuck if I know what you do
What should I do if you don't know?
Man, Eliezer runs so good.
Someone post the rap video.
Nick Franklin hits damn well.
Is it a rule that Crain has to pitvch every game?
I love you already Nick Franklin.
22nd AL pitcher to get a 4K inning.
So was that the second greatest Felix inning ever?
I'm thinking yes.
I wish Rob would have dropped another one so Felix could get 5 K's
I prefer the 9 pitch 3K inning
Hence why he said second greatest.
Yeah I guess i didn't even see that
I think Felix's passion is back.
Wikipedia is fucking fast

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strikeout#Four_strikeouts_in_an_inning

That's fucking scary
It's fairly easy to edit.

It just means that someone’s immediate thought after he struck out 4 was “okay, let’s Wikipedia this shit”

And that's NOT fucking scary?

Yeah it is. :O

In other news

One of the 22 AL pitchers to strike out 4 in an inning was apparently Scott Baker.

I mean, WTF? For those of you who don’t follow the Twins obsessively, he’s one of our teams copious “Nearly no strike outs, but no idea what a walk even is” pitchers. How the FUCK did he do that?

7ish K/9.

He isn’t Nick Blackburn. He’s good.

OK, true, true.

Still!

Bizarre-o.

I like Nick Franklin Dustin Ackley DP combo
If you're into that I guess...
Last M with 4 Ks

Was Kazu?

Awesome.

I remember when that happened!
Red loves Milton!
Hmmm one more gif. What should it be.
NO SPIDERS
He means more spiders.
I do have one from last year that Jeff said he would ban me forever if I posted......
So it's settled, then!
No question.
Bouncing rat! Bouncing rat!
Why does it feel like we are good all of a sudden?
Shit was there games tonight?
No they were fucking rained out!

The weather was PERFECT

We might beat the Twins!
We're actually scoring runs every game
Aardsma is so wild in warmups he threw one out of the pen?
Rob Johnson is pulling double duty tonight.
Rob is his BP catcher.
Let's go Cas-eyLet's go Cas-eyLet's go Cas-ey
Wait, so what did Nick Franklin do?

Promotion to West Tenn?

No just destroying Single-A still.

2 more homers last night.

Please let the power be real please let the power be real
9 of his 11 homers are from the left side

Which would be worrisome, but he still has a .510 SLG from the right side.

Man even if he has to give up switch hitting to bat purely left handed that would still be gravy.
Kotchman stinks.
This is totally random, but does anyone happen to have the gif of Red getting Beltre's bat handy?

I was talking to my dad about him and wanted to share.

Don't have a gif

do have this

Maybe I made up thinking there was a gif.

Thanks!

I show that to people who have never sat through a baseball game and they go crazy they think it's so cool.
Seattle's starting pitchers are good

Minus Ian Smell of course. Also, I want to build a time machine and bring back Sasaki. sigh

4 aces!
When we (if?) we get Bedard back

5 aces!

Cliff Lee and Felix count as 1.5 aces each.
4/5 aint bad.
That who you'd get with a time machine?

I’d really like the team to get Three Finger Brown. He’d be fun to watch, I’d imagine.

I don't get this thinking... Putz '06 was so much better than any Sasaki year, why not bring him back instead?
I remember being constantly afraid of Sasaki's forkball not forking.

Or over-forking.

Can you imagine Rob Johnson trying to handle Kaz's splitter?
Or Dickey's knuckleball...oh wait
Is Maikel pronounced like Michael?
That's how I pronounce it.
Is Johermyn pronounced like Joe Herman?
I say it "yo-herMYN" but I could be totally off.
I think its "HOMERIN!"
That's how I pronounce it
Is that one of those new age spellings?
It's one of those crazy Mexican spellings.
Is Rob Johnson pronounced dead?
Laughing silently.
Wow Dan Cortes pitched 2 1/3 and gave up 9 ER.

Can we trade him back to KC?

That seem silly.
Ackley with another 2 knocks though...
Yeah and they still won the game haha.
1.200 OPS over last 10, 1.000-ish OPS since May 1
Time to close the case DA!
So when can we officially terminate the Kotchman experiment?
Start Sweendog

Never thought I’d say that…

I fail to see how he was ever rated a top prospect.

His swing looks like such garbage.

And they're doing the wave now.

God damnit, Safeco.

UW did invent that stupid thing.
I thought it was actually the A's?
I've always heard it was first down at Husky Stadium
There are many claims made

for example …

Wikipedia says:

it’s origin is contested.
I like how some people apparently call it the Mexican Wave.

Most screwed up thing I've ever seen involving the Wave

I went up to the Olympics in Vancouver this year and the PA guys encouraged fans to do the wave…

Who else has an irrational hatred

of Jason Kubel?

Don't hate The Beard >:(
Don't fuck this up, Aardsma
Please don't do this now Aardsma.
PLAYOFFS!!!
DP!

MARINERS WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

oh god we're giving up a homer to danny valencia
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
CASE CLOSED BITCHES!

WE WIN!

Great minds swear alike.
I love Josh Wilson
Wilson!

Fucking awesome series! 6 GB!

YEEEEEEEEES YES YES YES
That was a pretty sexy win.
BOOK IT, BITCHES!

2 lolcat nights, 2 wins! EVERY NIGHT IS SCRUFFY NIGHT

What a way to end it.

Sorry Jack, you’re no longer needed here.

Josh Wilson! Not terrible!
DOUBLE PLAY!!!

FELIX FINALLY GETS THE WIN HE DESERVES

Wait there was a game tonight?
Felix Wins!
Holy crap we're six back.
This is Madness!!!
We gained ground playing against the Twins.
Nice to make up a little of the ground we lost against the Angels.
Figgy barehands it.

How badass.

Victory!

2-0 on CHEEZEBURGUR NIGHT!
Are the Ms 6-4 over their last 10 now?
3-1 over a pretty great Twins team

baseball!

Below average defense?

F U TWINKIES!!!

!!!

A Winner Is You!
That's a Scrappy quote >:(
(Obligatory)

Playoffs?

P L A Y O F F S ! ! ! ! !
man

you guys are like this kid

Do you have a link to this video? I'm dying
Based on the ABC logo, it's probably from America's Funniest Home Videos.
That kid looks like some creepy demon child
Undefeated in June!!
I want a computer dictation program to transcribe an interview with Jose Lopez
The best interview that you have no hope of understanding.
"As a betran guy, I dun think about it. Betra leteran wees un feen."
Wasn't as good without Alfonzo.
He couldn't stop smiling like an idiot
What's the ASCII equivalent of the charlie brown adult voice?
Jose Lopez just said, and I quote

“I don’t know who’s on the mound when I’m hitting”

Or at least I think that's what he said
He's so dumb it's adorable.
That was just odd.
Doesn't matter when you just hack hack hack
I seriously cannot understand Lopez.
Venezuelan.

I am told other Spanish speakers claim they can’t understand Venzuelans.

Yup.

I can attest that Colombians have trouble with Venezuelan Spanish.

And compared to Ozzie

Felix and Lopie are Sir John Gielgud.

Ozzie can't even type coherently.
Only Chile

is worse than Venezuela.

Did Loafie say he didn't know who was pitching?
Yep I heard that too. That's Lopie~!
Apparently Felix's headbutt hurt Lopez's short term memory.
*sighs*

Thanks for a series full of an ungodly amount of hilarity, Mariners fans!
I’ll miss Lookout Landing. I won’t miss your goddamn time zone, though!

See you, um…. Do we have any more games this year? God I hope they aren’t out West.

We have to come to Target field!
WE COME TO PLAY!!

Smile! Smile!

WE COME AGAIN
I hate you all so much right now.

As do whichever parts of me suffer from all the coffee I’ve been having at work.

Except, wait, I don’t hate Scruffy. He’s a demigod.

And if you get a chance, Target Field is gorgeous. You should come visit us! And you could come to Twinkie Town if you can’t get all the way to Target Field.

We go out there at the end of July I think.
And the Twins come back out here at the end of August.
Awww fuck that

Really?

I’ll just hope the wheels fall off the Tigers and we run away with the division, so I can feel safe in ignoring that whole series.

Lucky for you it's a weekend series and Sat/Sun are 1:10 PDT starts.
The time difference has cost me a lot of sleep.
But it was worth it now wasn't it?
Its always worth it.

I can’t miss the M’s!

I wouldn't skip a

one in the morning game for my life.

Yeah, Kreuger, throwing Felix out there for the 9th with 116 pitches would be a great idea.
I'd feel safer with Felix than Aardsma in the 9th though...
I'd rather keep his arm intact.
Ah, Felix is so fucking great
Does anybody know what you are supposed to scoop with Fritos Scoops?
More Fritos!
You mean the original size Fritos?

That would actually work.

Codemonkey likes Fritos
I think bean dip... or chili. Yum!
Chili? Salsa? Crude Oil?
Go Go Gadget?

No. He is Condor

Chad Cordero has no lips.
Uh, you're right.
Could he wear his hat any lower or flatter?
George Sherrill says yes
Chad Cordero and Jason Vargas could easily pass for a lesbian couple.
Diesel dykes need that haircut

but some belly adds to the allure. Some facial hair on the domme.

How the shit are we only 6 games back?

This division is terribad.

And we're going to Texas!
So...uh... guys...

Snell is pitching tomorrow.

Perfect game time.
Is Joyce umpiring?
No lol-ing tonight.

I am so sorry I missed all of this. AWESOME!!
I love you, Scruffy.
This was a game thread for the ages.

It has enriched my work day.

Final Scuffy rec count:

717

My hat is off to you.
Greatest game thread I have ever come across.

You must Login with your SB Nation account and be a member of Lookout Landing to post a comment.