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Lookout Landing

7/13: Open All-Star Game Thread

Just saw Cliff Lee riding in a convertible. That part was sad. All the rest of this red carpet thing does not make me sad. Or, it makes me sad, in a different way.

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Comments

I can't believe I might watch part of this thing
If Griffey doesn't show up I'm gonna be pissed.
Wait, they've already done the intros?
yeah what the fuck that can't be right
That's the best part
I don't think so-it just started.
It still bothers me how they did intros in the ASG at Yankee Stadium a couple years ago.
Anaheim != the city of Angels
These are the same people that decided Anaheim was on the beach.
Hold on; they actually said that.

HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE THESE PEOPLE?

Joe Buck makes Rick Rizzs look cuddly
Nothing can make this guy look cuddly

NOTHING

Not thrilled seeing Cliff in a Texas uniform. >:(
WOO ARTHUR LEE!!!
The all-star game is gay.
Is it because they're all men?
No it's because it has a rod in it.
THE JOKE IS THAT "A-ROD" IS SIMILAR TO "A ROD", WHICH MEANS PENIS
Nice to see the Astros player wearing gray

since they never do as a team.

Lame or not, I still enjoy watching the AL bury the NL, and I'd appreciate that occuring again today.
I always had cheered for the AL to win, but...

now that it “counts” I can’t help but think that the AL is playing to give the Yankees home field advantage in the World Series.

If Lee had gone to the Yankees, I’d definitely be pulling for the NL.

I guess I’ll just hope that Ichiro and Beltre and Lee each do something great.

Clay Bucholz is one scary looking motherfucker.
Are they booing the Red Sox?
really

its an all star game, are we all that offended?

Yep, did the same to Ortiz last night.
BELTRE!!!! DON'T BOO BELTRE YOU LOS ANGELANS/ANAHEIMIANS
Anaheimian? Anaheimite?
Anaheimer?
I always like Anaheimian, but who the fuck knows.
I just call them Assholes.
Classy all the boos.
Booing the Red Sox... stay classy, Anaheim.

Even we clapped for A-Rod in ’01.

After Berman made a plea to the crowd not to boo
I don't think we would have booed had there not been a prompt.

That was like the hot-button topic all week on the radio.

Mariner fans

wouldn’t take a crap without a prompt.

I booed ARod

from home … I refuse to not boo him ever. Wait, did that make sense?

Hahaha Valverde just mocked the Angels fans
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I didn't realize Halos Heaven was an accurate representation of the Angel's fanbase.
And by that I mean raging morons.
Anaheim seems to have beef with half the all-star roster.
CRIFF REE!!!!!
CLIFF LEE I LOVE YOU
Okay, I want Beltre to be MVP now.
GO CLIFF GO
hmm

Cliff Lee with a very indifferent responce

The announcer seemed to announce him like he was expecting a reaction.
Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee are gonna have an indifference off! IT'S ON!
Even the players knew the transition from an Angels player to go to A-rod wasn't gonna go well.
Charlie Manuel wears some high waisted pants. Like Ed Grimley
I like the lady in the dress in the NL dugout.
Haha everybody loves Albert Pujols.
Hahahahaha Ethier is playing CF
Better than Matt Kemp playing CF!
How is that?
Matt Kemp is a really bad CF
Andre Ethier is not a CF
So much for the Dodgers being the Angels' hated rival....
Half the people there are Dodgers fans.
Shouldn't Jimenez be warming up?
ICHIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Angels fans are terrible.
ICHIRO!!!!
They said Mariners! On TV!
It's like we're famous!
They cheer Jeter and Ichiro?
Are they all schizophrenic?
DEREK JETER IS GOOD FOR BASEBALL DON'T YOU KNOW THAT
I thought they booed Jeter, no?
I don't have my TV on loud but it sounded like a cheer.

I could be wrong.

I heard a bunch o boos.
I hope Ichiro gave his fuck the fuck fuck speeach.
What the hell is with all these boos?

At least all the Asians held down the fort and cheered for Ichiro.

I'm almost surprised they didn't boo Ichiro too, fuckers.
I love how they cheer division rivals but boo the Yankees/Red Sox
YAY CHEERS FOR VLAD YOU DESTROYED US LIKE TWO DAYS AGO YAAAAY
I loves me some Joe Mauer.
Vlad and Beltre and Lee should have been on the M's and we would have been the awesome
I feel a little bad for Phil Hughes.

It’s his first ASG and he gets booed for something he can’t control and no one there knows who the fuck he is anyway.

Fox is hacktastic
The opening bit with the kid asking daddy what stars are made of made me look up when their contract is up.

It’s going to be a long time until 2013.

Oh what the fuck is this
YEAH TIM HANNAH!!!
WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE
This is the worst opening to any event ever
They've had this for a few years now.
Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact?
There's a huge goddamned rip the size of a star that was shoddily patched up in the middle of the flag.

God, I hate you, Anaheim.

fuck

fuck them.

I'm calling the flag guard
Hopefully they suggest burning down the stadium along with the flag
Unfortunately they don't have a phone number, just an email address

The Los Angeles of Anaheim will be getting a harshly worded letter, however

Are you serious?
Yes.

It was patched up, but it still looked terrible.

I'd screenshot it, but I don't have MLB.tv right now.
Why are they showing a horse before a baseball game?
Hey Michael Young is an All-Star!
OH GOD ITS JULIA ROBERTS
INDIANA JONES
CHARLIZE THERON?!
AHHHHHH BENNNN AFFFFLECK
FUCK YOU SHERYL CROW GO GET CANCER
She married into it.
But then she divorced so is she in remission?
I might have to turn this shit off
If there is one thing that baseball fans love.

It’s celebrities.

Until the game starts the mute button is my friend.
WOW, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
I must say though that Salma Hayek's comically insincere earnestness has a strangely hypnotic effect when the TV is muted.
OMG MATTHEW MCONAUGHEEPOIUQ:WLIHE HEY
This is all Bud Selig's fault
I hope Mel Gibson shows up in this package.
Oh God, are we gonna do this for every one of them?
THIS IS STUPID IF WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS AT LEAST HAVE THESE SUPPOSEDLY VALUE COMMUNITY MEMBERS TALK FOR THEMSELVES WITHOUT BRINGING IN FANCY ACTORES
I think I just died of testicular cancer
None of this stuff bothers me very much.
The sentiment doesn't bother me.

The presentation does.

Well yeah it's dumb I just don't care very much

I never would have expected it to be not dumb

No one that likes baseball gives a raving shit about Ben Affleck or Matthew Mckonohowever you spell it.
I enjoyed the movie Dogma
I don't think that's the same thing as giving a shit about him.
He is the opposite of a man's man.
OH MY GOD THEY DIDN'T KILL KENNY
Fox is almost as stupid as Jose Lopez.
frown
You didn't let me finish.

Fox is almost as stupid as Jose Lopez… but nowhere near as lovable or good at baseball.

Somewhere, Jeff is liveblogging this.
Wow he's re-using his accent from We Love Marshall
*We Are Marshall
Isn't that what his voice sounds like?
Heh- maybe so

I thought his voice in Contact was his real voice

Nah, he's a stoner from South Texas.

I Dazed and Confused is just him playing himself.

I saw a movie recently where he played a constantly stoned surfer

that had to be the easiest movie role of his life. He didn’t even talk for most of the movie.

Did they change the anthem?
Why does Glee have to ruin everything I love?
Think they are going to get around to that baseball game thing any time soon?
JUST SING THE GODDAMN ANTHEM!
This pregame show is giving me diabetes.
It killed mine!
You have to say it like Wil Brimley.

Daia-bEtis

Appealing to a younger audience are we?
CHAOS REIGNS AS THE ALL STARS CONDESCEND TO THE COMMON HEROES AMONG US
Ichiro and Lincecum, Seattle teammates in some non-cursed dimension
I don't think Ichiro quite understood what he was supposed to be doing right there

He was shaking hands and hugging other players…

He knew what to do

Avoid the civilians.

Gods can not come into contact with lesser beings.
Yeah with that crew, they could have something contagious.
I should've known this wasn't actually starting at 5
DEAR GOD THEY STIL HAVEN'T SUNG THE ANTHEM!
Wait, is there anything redeeming about George Steinbrenner?
Well
During Steinbrenner’s ownership from 1973 to his death, the longest in club history, the Yankees earned 11 pennants and 7 World Series titles.
He said redeeming
He was the model for what every single fan wants their team's owner to be
A hard ass boss that fires people for no disceranble reason?
Caring more about winning and willing to do whatever it took to accomplish that goal?
He was extremely important to baseball and he died.

I’m all for honoring important people even if I didn’t like them in their lifetime.

Apparently he actually was quite the philanthropist.
I wonder if Glee is going to forcibly pushed on me every 20 seconds of this broadcast
Now doing play-by-play, the cast of Glee!
That's coming in the 5th inning

Or at least they’ll interview them in the booth.

I'm pretty sure this would actually be an improvement over Buck and McCarver.
So this game hasn't started yet

I figured Ichiro would already be out by the time I got home

If I was the flight lead of the flyover at the All-Star game, I'm pretty sure I'd intentionally fly over thirty seconds early
If I were in charge I would pass a law forcing people to just sing the anthem straight up and leave out all that terrible jazzy crap.
I would be in favor of such a law.
Same

Some mutilate it to the point that it’s no longer a tribute the country but an annoying expression of the singer’s ego

It makes me embarrassed. It is unlistenable.
-

Ta da!

Rec'd for illustrating the point!
Should've just got the USC Band to do the Anthem

although I guess being summer that would’ve been hard.

MLB couldn't afford to give them all free cars for showing up
I wish I'd gotten a free car for doing gigs

Best I ever got was free In-N-Out or Tommy’s.

Don't underestimate the value of In-N-Out.
I'm pretty sure this was a joke relating to bluemax attending the "University" of Southern California

and how some of their football players received gifts for playing football or basketball resulting in their team being penalized many scholarships and a two year bowl ban, and still losing to hated rival UCLA three straight years from 2004-2006 in spite of circumventing the NCAA’s amateurism rules

Does the revisionist history take away the sting of all those beat downs?
If I was going to cheat to win, I'd at least make sure I beat my rival all the time
Come on as a ucla fan you should know that street hustlers

who want to be kids agents isn’t the same thing as cheating.

If you want we can ask Coach Wooden for clarification though.

Oh wait, he's dead.
I can't decide if I should be insulted or not.
Am I the only one who keeps hearing the Jurassic Park theme in the background?
CEREMONIAL FIRST PITCH - NICK ADENHART!
oh wait
Something fun:

They had a thread about Steinbrenner’s death, and in it a ton of users made jokes about it. Then some of the people that trolled here when we made fun of Kendry’s injury got really uppity because they were legitimately under the impression that their community was “better than that.” They were actually surprised that people would make fun of a death off of LL. Naivete must be so nice.

I regret posting this because it shows I read the comments.
Dude, we can hear the Rev and WiHaloFan do play-by-play via livestreaming!
I actually went over there because I wanted to screenshot the comments for the next time they come trolling here.

But then I didn’t.

Irradiation shower
Why the fuck is Sharp sponsoring the All Star game?

Is even one person going to say “Hey, I think I’ll buy a Sharp TV” instead of whatever other TV as a result of this?

I would guess a lot of people are going to do that
I have yet to meet a single soul this decade who purchases TVs based on brand names unless it's Dynex or Insignia or some other store brand
but Sharp is an established brand

I wouldn’t weight a Sharp any more or less then a Panasonic or a Magnavox or a Sony. I still wont and I can’t imagine many will

But they added a fourth color.
Unless they drill that into our heads all game long I doubt many will know or care
Oh I'm sure they will
I was kind of kidding.

I’m sure they did a little research before they spent that much money.

I saw Rod Carew play, which means shit I'm old
I saw Rod Carew play

when he was a Twin. So I’m really old.

You got me there

Rod was still great with the Angels but on the back end of his career.

Joe Buck should always have to wear a pink ribbon
Tim McCarver looks like a Vampire.
A vampire that bit McCarver would spit out black blood
WHY IS HE NOT SPARKLING
Quick! Someone find a bucket of glitter!
IT HAS BEEN 47 MINUTES DAMMIT!
Holy shit just play already.
JESUS DOES ANYBODY THINK ALL THIS POLITICAL CORRECT LETS HONOR THE NON ATHLETES BULLSHIT IS USEFUL?
It makes people who aren't important feel important
YEAH LIKE 20 OF THEM AT THE EXPENSE OF THE OTHER 299.9998 MILLION PEOPLE
Progress!
The people who appear on those commercials are selfish bastards for making us bask in their awesomeness

Yippee! You help people! What the fuck do you want me to say? Thanks. Don’t make me sit through 20 minutes of drivel.

You're assuming they asked for recognition
They could have declined it

I sure as hell would have

What if they offered some love?
Kids announcing the starting lineup?

God.

Wait that wasn't Chone Figgins?
NOBODY GIVES A FUCK THOSE LITTLE KIDS COULD DIE IN A FIRE AND I HONESTLY WOULDN'T KNOW OR CARE

MAYBE THAT MAKES ME A BAD PERSON BUT WHATEVER

If I was an MLB speedster, I would get sponsored by a tire company

and have a montage of coaches talking about my wheels, and then saying that I only use X tires to keep me safe

Shut up you little brat.
I'd like Will Ferrell to do the color announcing ala Harry Caray in place of Tim M.
Fox has turned back the clock to spring training
Does anyone know if Jeff is available to liveblog private events?

What are his rates?

One helicopter nicer than Matthew's.
Just what in the hell are you implying
... that I ... there's no way you replied to the right comment here.
Are you saying Jeff offers his "services" for a price?
Pretty sure that's not legal
Escort services are totally legal.

Duh.

No.

I was implying — or saying — that I enjoy Jeff’s liveblogs so much that I would like to hire him to do the same thing for events of my choosing.

Pacific Northwest Ballet!
Hanley Ramirez's stardom is contingent on this All-Star Game?

Isn’t he, by definition of the game, a star already?

THROW A BREAKING PITCH!
WOW, THAT'S DAVID PRICE!
Groan.

Well played, though.

So Cliff Lee is better than this here fellow.
Heat is the the pitcher's equivalent of a dinger.
THIS IS BEYOND HEAT.
I would hate to be one of the catchers in the All-Star game

it must be terrifying to see guys with that kind of stuff and you have to not only call it, but catch it, plus you know since it’s the All-Star game, they’re going to bring their best stuff

yeah, but

Rob Johnson will never make the All Star game. So it isn’t a problem.

Cool that they stenciled that octopus on the mound
Never forget Paul.
That was not a good play by Cano.
I feel bad for Jeff.
ICHIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's so great.
Ichinooooo don't throw the ball to those Californians
Ichiro is good at his job.
ICHIRO

He’s ours!

Ichiro being Ichiro
Ichiro, representing!
ICHIRO BEING SUCCESSFUL MAKES ME HAPPY REGARDLESS OF SCENARIO
What if he were successful in convincing Jr. to come out of retirement because he misses having him around?
Yeah bitches! Fuck you sun in the eyes!
What the hell is up with the microphone and sound editing of bat-on-ball?
The old FreeCreditReport.com band was way better
They replaced the Orbit gum girl with another tall pale blonde woman.

I don’t really understand what the point of replacing someone with someone that looks like them is, but okay.

She wanted more money, the new girl didn't
Why not just replace the girl with someone that doesn't look exactly like the girl before her.

Everyone is going to notice it is not the same girl. If they are already going to notice, there is no reason to look for a clone.

I didn't notice
This seems incongruent with your previous statement.
I was guessing
I had absolutely no idea they switched.
It's been one commercial

If you have not yet seen that commercial, there is nothing to notice yet.

I have seen the commercial

I think they are banking on the fact that most people don’t pay that much attention to detail while watching commercials. I tend to acknowledge they are on while dividing my attention elsewhere.

The goal of a commercial is to be noticed and remembered.

Ideally, they can change the girl and everyone can say “Oh shit, they changed the girl.” There is literally no benefit to changing it to a duplicate.

In that case they should just film ten of the same commercial

With a new actor who is a new minority/age/gender/size everytime. Then just put them on a cycle.

I don't believe you
Did you really register this 2 weeks ago and save it for this long?
I had been waiting for a good opportunity
Didn't want to save it for a quality rape joke?
.

http://www.sbnation.com/users/nolamarinergirl

.

http://www.sbnation.com/users/acblue

You're no fun
I'd tell you not to soil my goodname but if it were any dirtier it would be a Scruffy porn gif.
Awww, should have joined LL yesterday instead of ten minutes ago

http://www.sbnation.com/users/i%27m%20not%20corco

FUCK THAT SHIT
Bahahahaha.
This is gonna get crazy.

It’s the second coming of _Jeff.

I'm glad I made a new account rather than just changing the name
I wanted to retain my recs.
Remember there's a 24 hour wait for LL

Join now so you can use them immediately later.

Except you have to join LL, which I hadn't yet. >:(

Foiled again.

I was referring to the Nola and AC accounts.

Neither of which have joined yet.

If I join Ill probably be banned so that's a no go
I want NOLA and ac to join 7500 to Holte
You walked out of that house and left the keys on the counter
If it's free, how the hell do they make the kind of money to be one of the main sponsors of the All-Star game?
I think we need to have Old Screenname Day

when all the regulars are required to use their original SNs for one day. I’d rec the hell out of gregrabble and KnightofKingK

Would I have to post like I used to as well?
It would be funny
They weren't even actually singing

The lead singer was a Canadian! And someone else provided his vocals.

Ichiro

Mariners represent!

Gameday Pitch Speed

Dude – If Gameday has Price at 100 MPH, It’ll have Ubaldo at 104…

I'm watching ESPN America, and they just showed Web Gems, and John Kruk just admitted that Web Gems are better if the player is better offensively.
That statement has somehow made my testicles retract
Bing needs to rethink their marketing plan.
No what the fuck? I looked away for like 10 seconds and Ichiro is out?!?!
D'awww Ichi popup.
He's back from the dead!
It's so great that this game could be held in a neutral venue
What, no booing for Sheppard?
I wonder if Josh Hamilton has ever tried to snort a particularly white baseball
Josh Hamilton tried to snort David Eckstein.
I laughed really load.
Afterwards did you laugh unload?
Fucking cokehead
Texas is really going to need Lee in the second half, huh.
I want Jimenez to lose all his hair
Bahahaha George Takei
oh goodie, they're showing the same commercials in Seattle as here!
THE AL IS THROWING A NO-HITTER
Way to jinx it, dick.
What inning do you think we'll hear California Gurls in?

Also, I imagine that the theme music between every half-inning will be a song with California in the chorus. That would be a very Angels thing to do.

Just wait for the 7th inning stretch

Featuring the cast of Glee!

This is the song they play on the fancam while the creepy cameraman zooms in on slutty girls in the crowd.
ESPN was using songs with the name California in it

for Sunday night’s game. Nothing like hearing California Love and Hotel California back to back.

So I guess we know the answer to the question about Sharp TVs
Pujols had a reaction.

That’s weird.

God, it looks like the hitters are blindfolded up there.
I don't really keep up with the Rays, but this David Price guy is pretty killer.
Jose Lopez would have made that play
Well Jose Lopez is good at defense.
Dear seattlebruin,
Thank u 4 ur luv and support. It really means alot to me to no that u are there. in my life i have gone through hard things. i should of been hurt, but i won’t. i will always do my best and that’s me. i’ve a present 4 u in my home that i give to you someday when i see to you soon. no that ur are in my heart all ways and i thanks you again for you.

Sinseraly,

~Jose Lopez
RT @OzzieGuillen Happy fathers day to all then look up for the childrens no a fake one
Ah, too bad Tschida isn't home plate ump for this game. Now that would be entertaining.
"The Other Guys" looks okay but Will Ferrell is funnier when he's telling people he's going to make them drink his piss
What are you doing here?
That is pretty clever
Sad trombone for Vlad Guerrero.

That little feature was actually fairly amusing, though.

NL Left Fielder =! Ichiro.
Ryan Braun should probably not be starting.

Probably shouldn’t even be there at all.

That's right Ubaldo. AL rally.

I AM SO FIRED UP

Robinson Cano should be using a Lady Gaga song as his walkup music
Why is Cliff Lee the third pitcher? Lame.
Andy Pettitte has clearly been better
I don't know why he's in the all star game at all.

Fucker hasn’t done shit for his team.

I'm surprised Librocrat didn't say this
I wasn't saying he sucked.
Andy Pettitte can go eat a chode.
Fucking Comcast sucks on sunny days
Do they have to play someone from each team?
I'm amazed Andy Pettite is still going strong. Feels like hes super old.
I think he's half the age of Jamie Moyer.
D'awww-Felix in the commercial.
I love that Cuddyer said he's not there to just hit homers

Which is pretty much all he does.

Have they started playing yet?
I can't believe the relatively cheap extension Josh Johnson got.

Soooooo good.

Dammit.

I hope that wasn’t Ichi’s last at bat.

That's about as ugly an Ichiro swing as I've ever seen.
Ichiro never strikes out prettily
Even when he swings at one completely out of the zone, he doesn't miss it by much.

He wasn’t close to that one.

Ichiro can have some of the ugliest swings you have ever seen.
He can react and foul off so many pitches that if he misses, it's ugly
Wow, Ichiro wasn't even close to that pitch.
Does Molina do the splits every time?
Aw Ichiro's out.

After Cliff’s done pitching I’m probably done watching this.

Dammit, fuck you Hamilton.
The starters might only be getting two at-bats today.
Ichiro out already, Lee in a Ranger uniform

This is the worst All Star game of all time.

We still love you Cliff.
Ow I don't like seeing this
FUCK YEAH SIT DOWN PUJOLS
Girardi does not give a shit about whose house Cliff Lee was renting.
Guess whose house he was renting, Joe!

Ah…Microsoft?
No.

Kurt Cobain?
No. JAMIE MOYER!

Joe Girardi could not care less about whose house Cliff Lee was renting
Cliff Lee: still God
Cliff Lee!
Cliff Lee strikes out Albert Pujols on 3 pitches.

Somewhere Poochie is cutting himself.

God Lee is fast.

At everything.

Except sex.
But I bet he's very efficient.
At least it was quick. Like a band-aid being ripped off.
That was so quick i missed it.
Great-went pee and grabbed a drink, missed Lee. :(
You should know better by now.
6 pitches, 5 srikes, 2 groundouts and a 3 pitch K of Pujols
That makes it hurt more. Thanks.
From Jeff's pre-game live blog:
# 5:03. They’re talking about Steinbrenner. It’s happening again. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but Steinbrenner chose a pretty bad day to die, because now he’s stealing the spotlight from the most important event of the season – the 2010 Major League Baseball All-Star Game. He’s also delaying it. Like they really need the help. We still have to wade through the long, drawn-out player introductions. The red carpet special was nothing. The action may not start for three hours.
# 5:08 now. Still Steinbrenner. Haven’t they been talking about this all day long? Was there another story that I missed? Play the game! The sooner the game starts, the sooner the game ends, and the end of the game is going to be everyone’s favorite moment of the evening.
# Just realized why they were still talking about Steinbrenner instead of going to the game. I forgot to change the channel from MLB Network to FOX. In my defense, look over there!

That’s our fearless leader.

This still slays me.
Almost broke his wrist on that one.
Oh man. Thought he broke it!
Braun has puppy dog eyes, even when he's diving for a flyball.
'A lot of guys get hurt on that because the hand with the ball hits the ground and the body rolls over on the hand'
That looked really painful in slow mo.
Ryan Braun is slow.
Taco Bell Box, for the cheap glutton in you!
But it rocks...it rocks!
The black box was amazing
I still can't understand who is demanding a bacon taco.
The AL deserves to lose for taking Ichiro out this early

Cashman made Joe do it.

THERE'S 7 YANKEES OUT THERE PLUS THE GHOSTS OF BOB SHEPPARD AND STEINBRENNER

YOU COULD HAVE LEFT OUR ONE PLAYER IN THERE FOR A COUPLE INNINGS
YOU ARE GREEDY AND SPITEFUL

That Harwell patch is so awkward-looking being pushed up by the ASG patch.
Really Girardi? 6 pitches from Cliff fucking Lee? That's all you want?

Eat a dick.

He did throw a complete game on Saturday.
He also threw like 96 pitches.
But....but....he threw 6 pitches....
What the fuck Joe Mauer?
Seriously! Dude, c'mon!
To his credit, Girardi was yelling "WRIGHT WRIGHT! THROW OUT WRIGHT!" from the dugout.
Haha Verlander sucks.

Shoulda picked Felix.

Worst All-Star game ever!
This game is so quiet.
I've even been to louder Mariners games.
I HOPE LIGHTNING STRIKES THE STADIUM AND ALL THE YANKEES AND ALL THE ANGELS FANS DIE
I hope only Ichiro is immune!

Maybe because he is wielding the lightning?

Cliff Lee can live too.
Beltre
Adrian, Heath Bell, Buddy Black
I'd save Swisher too.
Was it as nice in PB today as it was in RB?
So, so nice, almost impossible to stay in the office

Took a nice long lunch.

Excellent (sorry Graham)
By all rational thought I should be enjoying a sundowner beer somewhere

But hey ALL STAR GAME

Ichiro may choose who to smite and who not to smite.

That’s his prerogative.

Except if he can take out the entire cast of Glee that would be greeeeeat.
Ten more shows would spring up in their place

Trust me, it could get WAY worse. It’s better if they live.

If it can only take one, please let it be McCarver.
Does your radar gun go up to 100?

No Joe, it doesn’t. They don’t even make those.

Felix should be pitching this inning.
GOD Verlander has added half the time to this game
I predict another tie.

Whatcha gonna do then, Bud?

That is an ugly beard, Corey.
Just because you can grow one, doesn't mean you should.
I kinda want McCann to homer here.

Is that wrong?

McCarver sounds pissy that there has been so little action in the game thus far.
Sorry, I meant Buck.

McCarver just sounds McCarver-y.

Whelp, ignore my above comment then.
Ha, he's only said it's the year of the pitcher about 4000 times. What does he want?
So I haven't missed much in the first 2 hours, then.
You missed Girardi's utter befuddlement at McCarver asking him whose house Cliff rented in Seattle.
I did hear that.

I too was befuddled.

Besides, the only thing Moyer does lefty is pitch, so his joke didn’t work, either,

The first hour or better was a really really really really long tribute to normal folk all stars and then a terrible version of the Star Bangled Banner.
Why do I feel compelled to watch this
I actually like to see a bunch of good players I don't see all year from most other teams.
I want A-Rod's cum in my mouth.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't know if this is funnier as Mrs. Katal or Robert posting
Line starts behind me
You know what's funny about the word "cum" is,

it’s not a word.

.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cum

Cum is a word as much as "rofl" or "lmao" are words.

But I’d probably lose that argument on the internet, too, so I’ll just drop it and pretend that a slang entry on dictionary.com counts.

Unless you’re citing it to show that cum is a preposition, in which case you know damn well that’s not what he or I meant.

Actually you are incorrect in asserting that slang and abbreviations are in any way the same thing.

Cum is clearly a word. Yes it is slang, but it is in very common usage. To argue otherwise is overly pedantic.

Ain't this the truth.
The word has been in the vernacular for at least 150 years

At some point it becomes a real word and not slang anyway

Never understood why "come" wasn't perfectly suitable, but porn has to go and make everything all dirty
We have a bar over here called "The Cum Inn". :/
Every state from Montana to Louisiana has a convenience store chain called "Kum-n-Go"

Great place to buy gas, too

Rofl and Imao are acronyms.
If this isn't the dumbest argument in LL history, someone please link the dumber one
Jeff took I-805S once
Yeah, it's just called S805.
No corcobaiting
You were trolling with your own comment.
the S805
Shit, my bad.
Didn't you used to live in California?
Yeah but I get confused between IS805 and i805 south.
One is imaginary and the other is made by Lexus
OH MAN THIS IS FUNNY YOU TOOK US805 TO WORK ONE DAY LOOK AT ME I'M MISUSING HIGHWAY REFERENCES AREN'T I HILARIOUS
Actually, I'm quite amused!
Start by looking up my screen name.
I believe I once said the Silva contract was worse than the Zito contract
You're mixing cum with Kum
Ironically, this was the only incorrect response
Screenshotted as I will see to it that it is presented in your class's show and tell.
Does Joe Buck even HEAR the drivel seeping out of his mouth?
He seems less annoying during football to me.
Football is a far less intellectual sport when it comes to broadcasting
Too much going on to breathe through the nose
Wow, just a bit high.
He'll forget that never
These are the 2 worst managers in baseball

who would pick an Asian pitcher?

You could see that was going to happen as soon as the ball left his hand
With that errant toss to first, we've seen a change in the status Kuo of this game.
It's gone from boring to stupid
Wow this Asian sucks.
YOU TOOK THE GOOD ASIAN OUT OF THE GAME GIRARDI

HE WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER PITCHER ALSO

Wrong league.
MANUEL WAS FORCED TO FULFILL THE ASIAN QUOTA
Okay now four no-hit innings!
You know who wouldn't be calling such a shitty game right now?

Rob Johnson

Good play by Rollins.
Hey, I thought these guys were supposed to be All Stars.
Why the fuck does it matter if there is good fundamental baseball at the ASG?

It’s supposed to be entertaining McCarver. At least Mauer was trying to make a semi-exciting play.

Uh, Wiki vandalism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predators_%28film%29

.

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Predators_%28film%29&oldid=373369007

Yes
Hi old user name!
It's creeping me out you're still doing this.
Oh wow.

Somebody’s mom just wiki’d the movie and decided it was unfit for their son.

I just watched that this afternoon
How many more inches?
Three.
I hope it didn't hurt too badly.
It's like a stilt!

for your dick!

The 3 inches were actually added to the diameter.
I hope the guy that came up with those Old SPice commercials got a raise.
I'm fairly certain many people have...
Did you see they are answering tweets via personalized video?

http://twitter.com/OldSpice

Linda Holmes blogged about this new ad, and got a handsome and manly video response

This might actually get me to join Twitter finally.
Arthur Rhodes is a cockroach and will out live all of us.
Out lived his son.
So I think we can safely assume who is on katal's account as well
Martin Prado has an annoying batting stance.
McCarver has brilliant insight in thinking Adrian Gonzalez isn't getting traded.
Oh, thank goodness.

I was hoping for brilliant insight.

Why anyone would want to see that much of a movie before paying to see the whole thing, I have no idea
I still have no idea what's going on in the trailer.
The boat is sinking and the poor kid and the rich girl he met are about to be separated by the icy waters of the Atlantic Ocean
Shit's 'slpodin.'
It still makes me want to see it though.
I turned the channel because I'm actually looking forward to that one

You have to let art just …flow over you.

Leonardo can flow over me anytime.
Leo is great, I don't care what anyone says
I can't think of one crappy film he's done.
Although Titanic I couldn't stand.
Romeo + Juliet
Except for the part where all the people went sliding down the deck and the clank sounds they made as they hit below.
The Beach wasn't that good, really
I'll bet a night of Poker and booze with

Leonardo, Timberlake, Damon, Afleck, and Kimmel would be a blast.

You seem to have given this some thought, but yeah I'm sure that would be a blast

Timberlake cracks me up.

Just now, but yeah - those guys seem cooler than people often think.
One of my favorites on SNL. The soup costume guy and as one of Beyonce's dancers in leotard and heels cracked me up.
Wrong subthread.

See “slang,” above.

I'll take Ellen Page then.
She's cute
Ashley Greene
This is the ASG, shouldn't we be talking about Milano?
A question people have been asking since they started making trailers back in the teens.
If Marlon Byrd didn't run with a stick on his back he woulda caught that.
Is it a stick, or a fork?
That was so bad
Fuck you, Elvis.
Andrus is stupid!

It’s an omen! Rangers hitting their traditional summer meltdown.

Bad bad baserunning.
Soon Joe will be doing ads for Pull-Ups.
NL making a mid-inning pitching change

The All-Star game – it matters!

Can any one tell me where i can find Jeff liveblog?,if i may ask. thanks.
http://www.sbnation.com/2010/7/12/1565708/ubaldo-jimenez-david-price-starting-pitchers-2010-mlb-all-star-game
Glad to hear Beltre is having a comeback year after leaving Seattle.
No one west of the Mississippi cares about David Ortiz
Unfortunately,

we haven’t figured out how to keep the Boston fans over there and this claim is untrue.

A Boston fan recently told me he was a HoF

I’ll admit I was a little mean in response.

Did you yell "Edgar" while kicking him in the nuts?
He was worth five runs more than Griffey last season.

I don’t know whether this makes me happy or sad.

Just a stab in the dark that this is horribly inaccurate.
Traveling EAST of the Mississippi is sadly not a requirement citizenship in Red Sox Nation.
Or Yankee empire sadly.
So just how many goddamned strokes has Selig had?

Did Joan Rivers donate her original tits to his face?

Every time they show the dugouts I think, "Man, those are just disgusting."
Enough, already.
Have they mentioned when George was banned from baseball, yet?
Only on the News Ticker

So no.

Every fifteen minutes on ESPN.
Or his criminal record

of donating illegally to the Nixon campaign (and being pardoned by Regan)?

FUCK YOU MATT THORNTON.
Matt Thornton pitching in a high leverage situation at the all-star game.
It's like using Helen Keller as line judge at Wimbeldon.
This used to be the dumbest move ever.
Hey guys did you hear that some guy died
Dude get over Adenhart.
Too *sniff* soon.
The loss of Harvey Pekar is a national tragedy.
How long is Lopez out on bereavement leave this time?
Thornton looks gross,
He looks all growed up.

he used to have sort of a boyish thing going, but not anymore.

Sucking adds years to your face.
Thanks for letting me know which team plays on the north side of Chicago, and which on the south.
Chris Young is just having a terrible ASG experience.
I'm sure it is an honor just to be nominated.
Fuck Matt Thornton.
That's the Matty we know.
HAHAHAHAHAHA SCREW YOU MATT THORNTON
Aww, fuckin hell.
Matt Thornton'd
VINTAGE MATT THORNTON.

For once the Yankees won’t have home field advantage!

Brian McCann

MVP

Whodda thunk it?
Hooray ex-Mariners!
Is anyone else rooting for the NL?

I am, because the whole AL winning all the time thing is getting old, and fuck giving the Yankees home field again.

Is that red midriff outfit on the girl behind home plate some sort of weird hostess uni?
I wouldn't mind finding out.
I think she's wearing a flesh colored belt.

Which just sounds gross on its own.

Aren't we all?
That's definitely a belt yeah
The cut out the interview with the crying M's fans.
Hey m=\[]
A wombat you say!
Not sure what that is, but I like it either way.
Can you imagine this game played on anything less than the finest grass? The Rays can
Didn't McCann get a big hit in an All-Star game before?
WHY IS WIGGINTON AT THIRD AND NOT BELTRE IS BELTRE STILL HURT?!
My account was just hacked by a third grade teacher.
@ JPosnanski If this game actually matters, why was Matt Thornton pitching with the game on the line?
I changed my mind.

I’m cheering for the NL. It would be hilarious for the yankees to lose home field advantage on this of all days.

What if it's Cliff Lee and the Rangers?
We don't want the Rangers to win.

Rangers + playoff money = BAD.

Steinbrenner is clearly in hell
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who in the hell is this??
Elevator music version of God Bless America!
Angels baseball!
What's wrong with Colbie Caillat?
Gesundheit.
Her other music is okay but that sucked.
The other option was the girl from Glee.

I’m taking Colbie.

Why do people LIKE that show? I do not get it.
Ok, who is this painful, painful singer.
And no, that was not a beautiful, beautiful rendition of God bless America.
Oh good, it's over.
Not only would I have a law for straight up anthem singing, I would also enforce a tempo law.
Not that I'm trying to skirt towards politics, but can we please just go back to Take Me Out to the Ballgame?

Pretty please with sugar on top?

Bet it won't happen until they get rid of Selig
I can listen to God Bless but only if it's sung like ROnan Tynan or some other good singer.
That's part of the issue, and the part it's probably safer to talk about.

God Bless America is a harder song to sing, and it’s more bothersome when people mangle it, either willfully like that was or because they just can’t sing.

But with Take Me Out to the Ballgame, it’s actually more fun the worse it is sung.

Yes! Like Ozzy Osbournes forgotten word version-hilarious.
They should've gotten Cliff Lee to sing the anthem

It would’ve been done in 20 seconds.

You mean God Bless America?
Yeah my bad, God Bless America
WOOOO NL CLOSE IT OUT WAINER
Oh hey look, it's the All Star Game. And the AL is losing.

Darn.

What's the best Star Spangled Banner rendition ever?

I’ll throw out Whitney Houston, but what do you think?

My gosh, the Yankees are on Saturday Fox baseball? WHo knew.
Jeezus Tim.

Yes….it’s the mound difference!

Say!

what topic do you think gets discussed when Tampa plays the Yankees this weekend?

How soon Crawford will be a Yankee.
And Steinbrenner
He's already a Yankee.
You mean was.
What you mean something happened to him?

I had no idea!

He's already was a Yankee?
Day after the WS ends?
Holliday can't catch when the pressure's on!
Let's go AL!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Don't think that "brings in the tying run" there, Joe.
I do not care for that stupid Rally Monkey.
I had forgotten that the game was in Anaheim until I turned it on.

Lame.

AHAHAHAHA

YESSSSS SUCK IT ANGELS FANS

This still feels like an odd comment coming from you.
Fuck those guys.
California Dreaming?

Jesus.

HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU TORII HUNTER YOU SUCK DICK
I wish I was old enough to care about Baseball in 2001.
That was only the 7th?!?
Washingtons Most Wanted is supposed to be on
Needs more commercials.
Torri Hunter Fail.
The hell is this still going on?
I would expect this game to be played in Yankee Stadium or Fenway Park considering how long it's been going.
Giving the Mariners time for another trade.
Started at 7:45 or so.
@ JPosnanski People tweeting that Matt Thornton is awesome? Huh? He's like a younger Darren Oliver ... Where are Darren's All-Star games?
Soriano seems to have a much better slider now than when he was here.
Just how many former ms are there in this game?
Lets count

Current:
Ichiro

Former:
Beltre
Thorton
Soriano
Big Papi
Cliff
A-Rod
Arthur Rhodes

So 8 total?

Does Ortiz count?

He was in the Ms org, but never appeared in a game as a Mariner, right?

He was part of the organization at one point, so I included him
WHY DO THEy ALWAYS GET BETTER WHEN THEY LEAVE!
Even though I'm sure most of you are reading it, from Jeff's liveblog:

“That the Home Run Derby and the All-Star Game routinely draw such an impressive ratings is not evidence that the Home Run Derby and the All-Star Game make for fine entertainment. It’s evidence that Americans would literally die if they didn’t have sports on TV. The average American’s life is so boring that he will tune in to the All-Star Game of his own volition.”

Damn. That’s devastating.

I want to play Ncaa Football 11

But this keeps going.

Does Michael Bourn look like Dave Chappelle?

He did in his quick camera shot there, to me at least. Has this been said before? Am I crazy?

Are these all related questions?
Possibly?
Because I'm positive you're crazy.
IT WAS THE FACE HE WAS MAKING.

Ok I’m crazy.

Takes one to know one, right?
Well, I'm switching to Warehouse 13 at the top of the hour.
It's hard to believe he was picked 24th in a draft because he can throw hard?
Brian Wilson looks like he has Big Bird's feet.
I like Wilson's shoes.
I was going to say this.
Jose Batista is wearing GI Joe's beard
He's been through wars.
I think we've seen George Takei more than any of the actual players.
Who?
The dude who is startled by fish.
And apparently enjoying the game, out in the stands.

Useless factoid?

George Takei is Akemi Takei’s uncle.

I'm surprised that they aren't making him wear a Sharp logo.

Or, for that matter, carry around one of their TVs.

Wow - talk about ripping off another band.

I was trying to figure out why No Doubt was doing a Freecreditreport.com commercial. For shame – that’s not even a good band.

I forgot that Valverde existed.
That wasn't supposed to be in response to you Kevin.
I think it works here, though.
Broxton time coming up fuck yeah
Heath Bell is awesome.
Did I miss Tim Lincecum pitching?
OH GOD I THINK THEY ARE DOING THE WAVE AT THE ALL STAR GAME

YOU ARE THE WORST FANS EVER

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, taking everything else into account, I'd say that makes perfect sense.
People who do the wave should be sterilized.
No arguments here.
They are smiling, Joe, because they don't have to listen to your boring ass broadcast.
Seriously, I find myself wishing for the Angels broadcast crew.

That’s damned near rock-bottom.

Beltre is gonna bat!

I’m torn :(

I hope he hits a solo HR and the AL still loses.
Fox, Espn, or MLB Network?

What would this be more entertaining on?

The ASG?

ESPN, because they’d probably have Jon Miller call it.

BUT JOE MORGAN
I think Jon Miller awesome more than cancels out Joe Morgan meh.
My thoughts exactly.

Besides, it’s not like we’re doing much better on FOX with Timmay doing color.

Now THAT would be hilarious-if all McCarver could do the whole game is yell out "TIMMAY!" after Joe speaks.
ESPN is apparently not carrying the FreeCreditScore commercials everyone is raving about.
Broxton is a large man.
He's 8 feet 900 pounds
He might be in a tie with C.C. for largest bloomers.
Toni Braxton would fit in one leg of Broxton's bloomers.
And here comes the AL!
AWW BELTRE CAN'T HIT A SOLO HR NOW
WAIT

RUN ORTIZ AND HAVE HIM THROWN OUT. THAT MAKES SENSE.

Has Fox gone the entire game without showing us the happy Fox Stars enjoying the game?

or do Fox Stars only attend the World Series?

He looks so skinny

ARE YOU EATING ADRIAN I WILL MAKE YOU A SANDWICH

BELTRE BELTRE BELTRE
That swing was the Beltre we know and love.
I want to see dancing feet!
AW HAMBURGERS
Goddamnit Adrian.
Now Adrian is going to be thinking about that all night
Atta boy, Beltre.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Pinch hit A-Rod for Kinsler, you dipshits
Although I want the NL to win it would be hilarious if Buck gets on and Arod hits a walkoff pinch hit HR.
Really not gonna use A-Rod?
Even Joe Girardi hates A-Rod
Yeah give John Buck the green light 3-0 with A-Rod or Kinsler on deck
Pinch-run Arod for Big Papi!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHA AWESOME!
Wow nice play by Byrd
Jesus fucking Christ.
HAHAHAHA YOU HAVE TO BE SHITTING ME
Wow. Great throw by Marlon Byrd.
Told you to pinch-run Arod!
I was thinking of this comment during the play. Well-called.
Byrd once agiain couldn't catch it in the air.
We should trade for Marlon Byrd and put him in the rotation
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
This is different!
HAHA AROD DIDN'T GET TO PLAY
Joe Giardi is responsible for this loss.
That is the most fitting thing ever.
Steinbrenner would have wanted it this way.
Holy shit the NL won
Why the fuck would you not use ARod? Fucking idiots
Lame lame lame.
I'm not sure this was the best-managed game.
McCarver just laughed at the worst joke he has ever made
I had to turn off the TV at that point.
As bad as it was, I highly doubt that's the worst joke McCarver has ever made.
GET IT! BECAUSE HIS LAST NAME IS BYRD! GET IT? IT'S SIMILAR TO BIRD, WHICH IS A THING!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tv off.

Both Managers are morons
Neat!

Good thing we tanked this year.

I was hoping to see Rosenthal talking with Broxton's kneecap.
And apparently, Broxton is realted to Bill Dauterive
um. related.
He's as big as a house?
You were 8 in 1996, Brian?

That’s weird since you were born in 1984

What the hell was that
Damit A.L. lost.....next year for sure!
And so begins the NL reign of dominance.
DONE, BITCHES
Fuck yeah, now it's all Mariners, all the time.
And First Place Padres fever.
FUCKIN RIGHT IT IS
Nah.....N.L got LUCKY this time. next year for SURE!
...........next year for sure!
Next year for su...I HONESTLY DON'T GIVE A FUCK

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