Yeah I probably shouldn't clutter up the front page with all this.
These are crumbs and they're kind of a mess
This lamp is really useful but it gets really hot sometimes
Watermelon sounds good but it sure doesn't look very stable on the counter
A delivery!
These are penguin salt and pepper shakers that glide forward on the table if you pull their wheels back. They're awesome and totally ridiculous
Well I guess if I had to
This seemed really promising in the store at the time but boy does it suck
Ken Griffey Jr.
Yeah I don't think we can use these again
Ever since we got this fan I don't know how I lived without it
Ichiro
What a beautiful orchid in such a shitty pot
Trash
I really wanted watermelon one day and we bought one but this watermelon is gross and now I don't know what to do with it
This stuff works really well but I pretty much never use it since I rarely get bitten by bugs or like trip into poison ivy
The only thing I trust this to do is keep a bag twisted shut
Well these clearly aren't ready to eat
I just got this the other day as a promo item and I know it can do really cool stuff but I don't know how to use it yet so it's annoying
I had a really good time at Crater Lake and wish I never had to leave, but, hey, souvenir
Man, this was fun. Sure was a while ago
Big trash
These pillowcase are spectacularly ugly but now I kind of like them
Well I guess worse comes to worse I could wear these again
He's not there right now but there's a spider outside of the window in the office and every time I look out the window I get terrified
You are one lousy webcam
Some things you should leave in the garbage
So simple, so delicious
This is a corner. There's nothing special about this corner and it looks a lot like other corners
I love my PS3 and I wish I could play with it every day
This thing is awesome and we should use it more
No matter what the packaging might suggest, this isn't good for me and I use it way too much
It's all gone now, but I sure had fun spending all that money
You were really cool in 2006
Garrett Olson
I liked these gloves when I bought them but now whenever I put them on people think I'm about to do something rapey
I don't know what this is for but I guess it's not in the way
I love our pizza stone but every time I try to use it it burns me
I spent a lot of money to go to that Stanley Cup and it was pure torture from the beginning
I never thought I'd find this thing useful but now I practically look for reasons to use it
People always tell me I should save my receipts but, ehh, get rid of em
Jason Vargas
This was literally thrown in for five extra dollars with our second controller. We didn't really care at the time but now this is amazing
This is leftover Vicodin and we pretty much only keep it around in case we wanna get fucked up
113 recs | 130 comments
Why are those big dumpsters in your apartment?
ralphie81 - July 14, 2010
Edited!
Jeff Sullivan - July 14, 2010
Smart-assiness aside, very well done, Jeff.
Thanks for leading the site in fun!
ralphie81 - July 14, 2010
Best day of the year!
Robert - July 14, 2010
This is brilliant.
Joe Metro - July 14, 2010
A couple of weeks late, but this is absolutely the best.
TrustBaseball - July 20, 2010
Awesome
Well done sir. You once again make this shit season not suck so much.
skywaker9 - July 14, 2010
This is what makes Lookout Landing so awesome.
seatownsports - July 14, 2010
In before racist jokes about Milton Bradley equaling watermelon.....
A+ post, by the way.
sanford_and_son - July 14, 2010
Yeah that was actually a coincidence
Jeff Sullivan - July 14, 2010
The evidence is really starting to add up
Matthew - July 14, 2010
Why did the best meme of all have to die by itself so quickly?
Fuckmikereilly - July 14, 2010
.
Jeff Sullivan - July 14, 2010
Nyjer Morgan helps out Adam Dunn's UZR!
Fuckmikereilly - July 14, 2010
This is the geekiest thing I have seen in months.
Bravo!
EnglishMariner - July 15, 2010
This is the highlight of the season so far for me.
This is awesome because it’s extremely silly and highly entertaining, yet astonishingly insightful. This post sums up the season much more effectively than anything else I’ve read.
Chris Hafner - July 14, 2010
Casey Kotchman as a gross watermelon is weirdly spot-on..
Chris Hafner - July 14, 2010
How long did it take you to come up with this?
This is brilliant and clever and a bunch of other wonderful adjectives.
I think it would take me a week or two to successfully pull something like this off. I bet it only took you a couple hours.
Rudy4three - July 14, 2010
I don't want to sound insensitive
but do you have a mild case of Parkinson’s?
wilsonpdx - July 14, 2010
I have a very shitty camera
Jeff Sullivan - July 14, 2010
I could've used a picture of my camera for Sean White too
Jeff Sullivan - July 14, 2010
Except my camera still got the fucking job done
Jeff Sullivan - July 14, 2010
*High camera five*
wilsonpdx - July 14, 2010
Couldn't give me any good info would have been the clever response.
Robert - July 14, 2010
Hangover.
msb - July 14, 2010
Lookout Landing: Where mods admit to abusing prescription drugs!
I Lick Squirrels - July 14, 2010
If I were Wak, I would probably abuse Vicodin as well.
Fuckmikereilly - July 15, 2010
Felix is your PS3
And you not dusting it is the Mariners not building a quality team around him. Or something. Dust your PS3.
John Gugarty - July 14, 2010
Perhaps the dustiness is equivalent to Wak leaving Felix in too long each start.
apunetid - July 14, 2010
No Shit.
Preserve the arm!
Mariner Melee - July 14, 2010
Excess baggage...
I believe the dustiness is his personal non-catcher Rob Johnson.
marcoramius - July 14, 2010
Aren't the Mariners owned by Nintendo?
Alexander Calloway - July 15, 2010
This is amazing
Now every time I play on my PS3, I can channel the power of Felix and pull my shirt forward whenever I do something that pleases me.
Aaroniero Arruruerie - July 14, 2010
Great post, sums up everybody very nicely.
Heydude - July 14, 2010
Hee hee
royalcurve - July 14, 2010
I'm still trying to figure out Aardsma.
Ike Clanton - July 14, 2010
Got it.
I was getting caught up in the details. I are tupid.
Ike Clanton - July 14, 2010
What is Shawn Kelley?
I’ve always wondered what that thing is.
OlSalty - July 14, 2010
Hawthorn strainer
Ike Clanton - July 14, 2010
Well done!
(Hire me as your photographer next time, eh?)
PositivePaul - July 14, 2010
Would we get every picture in sepia?
BrianL - July 14, 2010
That's pretty sweet about God of War.
Fuckmikereilly - July 14, 2010
My Ps3 just broke last week.
AKA, Watch the pitch counts Wak!
MFAN - July 14, 2010
Jeff, your writing was the reason I became a fan of the Mariners
bamfor - July 14, 2010
I'd argue the corner is the most important part of your apartment you showed
Corco - July 14, 2010
Without reading the other comments... Jeff you are a fucking GENIUS.
seattlesundevil - July 14, 2010
So awesome...
AJM would do this, but all he has in his house are the broken dreams of families past…
RangerFloppy - July 14, 2010
Sounds like the Mariners
jbpalm - July 14, 2010
You know you have an amazing post when it has been retweeted 15 times.
Great, great read. I really love the Smoak one, too.
lailaihei - July 14, 2010
Now I'm craving Nutella, you jerk.
craig3410 - July 14, 2010
That fan is fucking incredible.
Teej - July 14, 2010
I have been waiting all day for this
Thanks Jeff!
Robert Lintott - July 14, 2010
The problem with Shawn Kelley is
I look at it and think, but what does that do?
Kirsten Schlewitz - July 14, 2010
But after a lot of squinting I think I have figured it out.
Kirsten Schlewitz - July 14, 2010
I still have no idea what it is.
BrianL - July 14, 2010
Color me confused
wyte_lightning - July 14, 2010
Bar strainer.
catch ice, fruit, pits, etc as you pour your cocktail into its glass.
msb - July 14, 2010
You put spoons on it while cooking to keep sauces and other mess-makers off of the stove or counter tops.
Aaron Campeau - July 14, 2010
That's Brian Sweeney.
msb - July 14, 2010
Oh.
Well I assumed Kirsten would know what that was so if anything I am relieved.
Aaron Campeau - July 14, 2010
Ohhhhhhhhhh!
Mariner John - July 15, 2010
I really want those salt and pepper shakers
Only 9 dollars on Amazon!
JLC - July 14, 2010
Well this is the most brilliant thing I've read in a long time.
E-Lizz - July 14, 2010
If Willie Bloomquist was still arouind he could be a spork
does multiple things, but none of them well.
Steve Nelson - July 14, 2010
That's a sporf.
lailaihei - July 14, 2010
Willie would be the all-american plastic one
msb - July 14, 2010
He's a Swiss Army Knife
Nice little thing to carry around, great to stick in your pocket for a trip out, but everything it does is done better by various other items in the house.
craig3410 - July 14, 2010
A pink Swiss Army knife with a picture of a pony on the side.
Jeff Nye - July 14, 2010
I bought a bunch of those
Great for backpacking. Super light weight.
chrisisasavage - July 14, 2010
So was Teej coming to visit or something?
Aaron Campeau - July 14, 2010
He must not have made it.
abender20 - July 14, 2010
I'm on my way.
Teej - July 14, 2010
They gave you a Blackberry with a trackball? Lame.
Faux - July 14, 2010
I have two Crackberries and the trackpad siezed up quicker..more quickly..more quickernessly.
wazzu93 - July 14, 2010
It looked like a tour and holy god those were the worst trackballs that RIM has ever put out.
Faux - July 14, 2010
Looks like a Curve to me
The Tour’s numberpad isn’t a different color from the rest of the keyboard.
The Tour is a thing in my apartment right now. I got it because I thought I needed it to be more productive but I’ve since found that it doesn’t do a whole lot, and what it does do is done better by a number of cheaper options. The Tour is 2009 Vernon Wells.
pmc47 - July 15, 2010
Thank you, Jeff, for being the highlight of this season.
How long before you realize the watermelon is worthless (and will make you sick) and it has to go?
universalguru - July 14, 2010
Try to trade it to a homeless man for a can of tuna.
I Lick Squirrels - July 14, 2010
Kotchman smaells like tuna?
What’re you trying to say?
nathaniel dawson - July 14, 2010
Bravo, good sir!
Thanks for the laughs
krb - July 14, 2010
This is pretty much the best baseball commentary ever!
Thank you!
tacomamendo - July 14, 2010
This is one of my two favorite posts you have ever written.
katal - July 14, 2010
I almost like the team doing poorly ( not really), but the sarcasm is priceless.
wazzu93 - July 14, 2010
I Noticed your Luke French has a cob web in it
Your apartment is trashy
Marinerfanjake - July 14, 2010
That PS3 looks like it's used a lot and about to catch fire.
JAH - July 14, 2010
Not sure why you want to play with a 24 year old Latino man every day
Each to their own I guess.
MT Olson - July 14, 2010
You have clearly not spent enough time here.
The Felix homoeroticism will become apparently eventually.
appleshampoo - July 14, 2010
If only it was a brand new poster..
Hi, Welcome to Lookout Landing!
Around here we use proper grammar and say sexual things about the players we like! Here, look at this picture of Gutierrez and don’t worry, no one is watching!
Kenneth Arthur - July 14, 2010
Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on.
I’d like to stress that looking and playing are very different. VERY different.
MT Olson - July 15, 2010
This is wonderful
Thank you Jeff
tootthekazoo - July 14, 2010
I was waiting for this post all day and was not disappointed
Nick S - July 14, 2010
The day after the Allstar Game is my second favorite day of the season behind Opening Day because of these.
Robert - July 15, 2010
Bravo
Griffin Cooper - July 14, 2010
Fantastic, Jeff.
BrianL - July 14, 2010
I'm also amused
That you moved into my old neighborhood maybe a week before I moved NE.
wilsonpdx - July 14, 2010
Rob Johnson is definitely not a trash can
unless yours has a hole in the bottom
Milendriel - July 14, 2010
No, the pic is right.
Since the lid is closed it can’t catch anything.
jwolf0 - July 14, 2010
And somehow the PS3 loves the garbage can
Fin - July 14, 2010
See, now if the M's were smart, they'd do a whole White-as-Vicodin viral marketing campaign.
marc w - July 14, 2010
Don Wakamatsu: awesome until he got his switch set to evil this spring.
Decatur - July 14, 2010
If you have any more SA Triple Bock you can send it to me.
I actually really like the stuff, and we can’t buy it in Seattle.
pranaferox - July 14, 2010
The Ichiro one was pot on.
44FAN - July 15, 2010
*spot on
44FAN - July 15, 2010
Godammit why would you do that
Why would you correct that?
It was perfect!
Karma Police - July 15, 2010
This was a mistake.
Eyeball Kid - July 15, 2010
I was about to rec the original, and then I saw the correction.
Alas.
Robert Lintott - July 15, 2010
Flag the correction.
Maybe they can makit go away.
ToddK - July 15, 2010
And maybe I will learn to type one day. *Sigh*
ToddK - July 15, 2010
Bravo!
EnglishMariner - July 15, 2010
I saw the picture of the trash can.
And at first I thought the joke was that you couldn’t open the lid because the counter was too close so it wouldn’t catch anything you put into it. I laughed for two minutes before I read the caption, then I kept laughing. Everything about this post is perfect.
Hopefulmsfan - July 15, 2010
Fabulous.
JonBBT - July 15, 2010
Just incredible, Jeff!
EnglishMariner - July 15, 2010
You wonderful bastard.
Eyeball Kid - July 15, 2010
I can't wait until next year's "The Mariners as Professional Baseball Players."
CapSea - July 15, 2010
Ichiro Suzuki: Ichiro Suzuki
Much like Ichiro, Ichiro consistently maintains an above average BABIP rate as Ichiro does mainly through Ichiro beating out infield ground balls. Both also hit for very little power and Ichiro has been known to mimic Ichiro’s propensity for stolen bases
seattlebruin - July 15, 2010
God you have a lot of random shit.
You know what this means? Yard sale!
The Typical Idiot Fan - July 15, 2010
This is absolutely amazing, Jeff
This is my favorite thing since the Mariners went camping and that asshole Ken Macha put out their fire.
pmc47 - July 15, 2010
If I had a 2nd SBN account,
I’d create a 3rd so I could rec this thrice.
urchman - July 15, 2010
Sean White as a bottle of leftover Vicodin is hilarious.
Ballard Erik - July 15, 2010
What color was your Jason Vargas controller?
I got the red one with the GoWs. They are about as consistently enjoyable as a JV start. :) Wonderful post, Jeff! We need to start a “get Jeff a new camera” fund!
nosretap - July 15, 2010
This is amazing
Seriously. Wow.
Jamee999 - July 15, 2010
Sniff…
Awesome post.
Peter Raaymakers - July 15, 2010
:(
Jeff Sullivan - July 15, 2010
Subject line assface.
Kirk - July 15, 2010
Brilliant!
scottg02 - July 15, 2010
Thanks to whoever provoked my Russell Branyan comment to get hidden.
I thought it was quite clever.
Fin - July 15, 2010
Love it
DToxicAvenger89 - July 18, 2010
I love you
from a Giants fan.
jponry - July 18, 2010
+1. Brilliance.
GrahamCrakalaka - July 18, 2010
Jeff, you're awesome.
baetown415 - July 19, 2010
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