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The 2007-2011 Mariners All-Hate Team
Like an All-Star team, but selected on the basis of my hatred for the player. Would you make any different selections?

C Rob Johnson
1B Richie Sexson
2B Jose Lopez
SS Yuniesky Betancourt
3B Chone Figgins
LF Matt Tuiasasopo
CF Willie Bloomquist
RF Eric Byrnes
DH Ken Griffey Jr.

INF Miguel Cairo
1B Scott Speizio
DH Jose Vidro
C Miguel Olivo
OF Jack Cust

SP Jarrod Washburn
SP Jeff Weaver
SP Miguel Bautista
SP Carlos Silva
SP Horacio Ramirez

RP Luke French
RP Julio Mateo
RP Roy Corcoran
RP Ian Snell
RP Garrett Olson
RP Chris Reitsma
RP Sean White

On second thought, some of the guys in the pen were a stretch, so I crossed them out and replaced them with Sean White. Furthermore, "hate" is an intentionally fuzzy word which more or less means how much I hated watching him play on the Mariners. Sometimes, it doesn't even imply anything against the player personally (but then again, it often does). Also, Speizio is out of place, but I'll leave him in anyways.

55 comments

Comments

Where is Jeremy Reed?

Tui barely played compared to Reed.

Oh, I love this

But Eric Byrnes? I loved Eric Byrnes!

Oh and Jack Cust seemed like a cool dude
I would replace SP Jeff Weaver

With either Ryan Franklin or Joel Pineiro.

Who were there before 2007 oopsies!
I forgave Jeff Weaver a lot because of that shutout he threw when he had nothing left.
Who the hell hates Griffey?

Sure his last year here was awful, but he’s a huge part of Mariners history, and by all accounts a great person.

The hate is for 2010 Griffey. Not 1995 Griffey
DH Griffey, not CF Griffey.

Although I still loved that chubby black teddy bear.

Many many people hate 2010 Griffey

Me included!

Replace Sexson with Kotchman.

I don’t care if he was only here for one year.

Yeah, because Kotchman was given the 1B job here, chose to hit terribly,

then went off somewhere else and hit great.

Richie Sexson invented the Funkblast! Then he just got old/lost his reflexes/was over. But he was good for a while.

Replace either Corcoran or Olson with Rick White

He gave us the worst five and one-third innings in franchise history.

He was the weirdest-looking player I've ever seen. Not good-weird, either.
I think I'd put Ian Snell at SP instead of RP and drop Weaver off. He was awful, but I never really hated him.

I’m sure there are plenty of RP candidates that I could fill that slot with. Over the years I think I’ve hated well over 50% of our relievers. Maybe Sean White. Though he may be being unfairly judged because his name in a combination of Sean Green and Rick White.
Hated DH would definitely be Vidro over Griffey. Give Griffey’s roster spot to Casey Kotchman.
But why did you pick the years 2007-2011. I feel like I have to fill some positions with people I didn’t really hate. I think an all time Mariners hate team would be better.

If we're going by talent

Then I’d replace Julio Mateo with Chris Jakubauskas, Tui with Milton Bradley (pains me to say this), and Willie Ballgame for Jeremy Reed.

This is the worst list that has ever existed
Worse than "rank the Twilight novels in order of Edward shirtless scenes"
Because at least Edward is fictional!
That roster does function as a Tragedy.
Second Base should be Chone Figgins instead of Jose Lopez.

Also, Third base should also be Chone Figgins.

Jose Lopez should be at third base
I disagree. He was so lovable!

I vote Adam Kennedy for third base!

I vote Kennedy for DH
I vote Vidro for starting DH.
Needs more Brad Wilkerson.

I love how Jarrod Washburn is the ace of the staff.

Decision-makers

I mean, the GM is obviously going to be Pelekoudas, but who’s your manager? The options are tantalizing.

Wait, what?

Why Pelekoudas?

Hate knows no reason!

Apologies — my sarcasm was insufficiently obvious, it seems.

Fiftyone is actually Bill Bavasi.
Gettin my M's fix any way I can

You know who looks primed for a bounce-back year? Adam Dunn, that’s who, yessir.

I kinda hated Morrow for using his diabetes as an excuse to be in the bullpen

and therefore start the season with the MLB team rather than building up stamina in the minors.

I don't think being bad is solely a reason to hate a player

Luke French? I forgot he existed

Stopped throwing his slider.

But yeah, it was a stretch for 3-4 guys in the bullpen for me. Maybe I’d put Sean White there instead.

Funny, I don't see Larry Bernandez anywhere on the staff
I hate Kotchman for being sub replacement level in Seattle before going to Boston and being worth 5 WAR, despite being the exact same player.

So, you can put him at 1B. Washburn wasn’t too bad. Maybe put Ryan Rowland-Smith in his place. He was a really nice guy, but oh boy did SUCK last year.

Kotchman was in Boston BEFORE coming to the Ms.

I assume you mean the Rays. He’s been worth 2.4 WAR so far this year, not 5.

Yes, my mistake. I did mean the Rays. I was exaggerating on the WAR total, but I'm still surprised it's not higher.
Rowland-Smith belongs nowhere near this list

He’s on the guys who sucked but were lovable list

How many games do you think this team would win?

I’m thinking around 50.

I'd get Mike Morse in there somewhere- probably in place of Bloomquist
You cannot replace a player whose middle name — at least in terms of this blog's readership — is "Fucking."
Fucking is a compliment
I would legally change my middle name to Fucking tomorrow if my current middle name didn't have familial value
You can have more than one middle name!
Then my name would be 7 syllables long which doesn't have the same ring to it as a 6 syllable long name
Why is Washburn on the list.

He had an excellent year and then we got to trade him for some value.

Threw Kenji under the bus in his last year.

Turned a lot of people here against him who would have been otherwise apathetic toward him.

Bad case of gopher face.
Aparently your memory doesn't go back further than 6,000 years

I want to throw in two of my all time hated players

but I can’t remember exactly when they played, and am wayyy too lazy to look them up myself

Jeff Cirillo
Carl Everett

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