I was sitting at lunch, trying to enjoy an unusually disappointing corned beef hash, when I felt my phone buzz. A text or an email! Someone is aware of me! I reached into my pocket to investigate, and I saw that the cause was an emailed press release. Said press release:
Seattle Mariners Executive Vice President & General Manager of Baseball Operations Jack Zduriencik announced today the club has signed Japanese infielder Munenori Kawasaki to a minor league contract with an invite to Major League Spring Training.
Kawasaki was in Seattle last month. He said that he only wanted to play for the Mariners, and that he was willing to sign a minor league contract. It was basically a foregone conclusion that he would sign a minor league contract. Several days ago, he implied that he had signed a minor league contract. Now, finally, we have official confirmation that he has signed a minor league contract. This was like the drawn-out Erik Bedard saga, only instead of Erik Bedard it's someone way worse.
I don't know why this took so long to finalize, but it's possible that this kept repeating.
Kawasaki's agent: You're sure you only want to play for the Mariners?
Kawasaki: Yes.
Kawasaki's agent: The Seattle Mariners.
Kawasaki: Yes.
Kawasaki's agent: You're sure you only want to play for the Mariners?
Kawasaki: Yes.
Kawasaki's agent: The Seattle Mariners.
Kawasaki: Yes.
I uh...I've talked enough about Kawasaki that I don't know what else to say. He still doesn't project as a very good hitter. He doesn't project as a good hitter, either, or even as an average hitter. It just occurred to me that "not very good" is interpreted as being a lot more negative than it should be. I think he projects as an above-average defender, which is his selling point. That, and his complete and total devotion.
Kawasaki will compete for a Major League job against Luis Rodriguez and probably others. He might win that job. If he doesn't, it'll be interesting to see how willing he is to hang out in Tacoma. You can't play with Ichiro in Tacoma. A lot of minor league contracts come with opt-out dates in case the player isn't in the Majors by a certain point. I don't know if Kawasaki's contract has one of those, or if he'd exercise it in the event that it does. I'm guessing no.
0 recs | 52 comments
I'm sure he'll fit in just fine with this wonderous collection of hitters known as "The Mariners."
SethGrandpa - January 11, 2012
Based on the video in the last Kawasaki update, he's already living the dream
That documentary clip was like something straight out of baseball manga / anime. His “I will do it!” and camaraderie with Ichiro seems to be like something out of Dokaben or something.
(Not to be patronizing to Munenori Kawasaki, since he’s a grown man, professional athlete and has already had a productive NPB career.)
Chris_FB - January 11, 2012
I thought I had seen the last of this picture.
doublemazaa - January 11, 2012
I have not yet begun to fight!
SeattExPat - January 11, 2012
It's the Ichiro! love.
Japan had it first. (Why would ball players be any less subject)? We, as band wagon jumpers, are just riding their coat tails.
Damn it would be nice to be first to the party for a change.
ToddK - January 11, 2012
We're first to the Felix party, which is the best party.
Cascadian Man - January 11, 2012
Thank you for the context.
ToddK - January 11, 2012
Did you know most discussions are about context?
Chris_FB - January 11, 2012 via mobile
That reminds me of something totally unrelated
lemonverbena - January 11, 2012
Focus!
ToddK - January 11, 2012
that conversation
reminds me of the Todd Barry eggnog/egg-a-nog routine.
wackomann - January 11, 2012
Speaking of eggnog, they're still selling it in stores. I was delighted to discover that yesterday.
Cascadian Man - January 11, 2012
That's fitting because I'm somehow still seeing stupid Christmas commercials on my tv.
wazzu93 - January 11, 2012
Not as bad as the continuation of caveman comercials.
the other side - January 11, 2012
why must Geico have so many different advertising schemes.
caveman, annoying flo lady, gecko, surprisingly normal guy.
casagrande - January 11, 2012
Flo is not Geico.
Patrick Stites - January 11, 2012
Heh, I guess that campaign is working.
the other side - January 11, 2012
Speaking of which, when did esurance become "an Allstate company"?
J0SER - January 12, 2012
While we're on the topic of insurance companies,
does anyone else want to switch to Farmers just for the pet baboon with one robotic arm?
ToddK - January 12, 2012
They brought back that screaming pig thing.
JY - January 11, 2012
Thanks for killing any chance of me sleeping soundly tonight.
ToddK - January 11, 2012
The one thing I find great about those commercials is he's always carrying pinwheels.
wazzu93 - January 11, 2012
I'm pretty sure that pig is supposed to represent a mentally-challenged person.
ThomasG - January 12, 2012
Oh god with the twitter signature. Be gone with it! Be gone with it now!
Matthew - January 11, 2012
I hate to admit it
but I kind of love Flo.
Two Rs and Two Ls - January 11, 2012
Yeah I'm a Flo fanatic, if such a thing exists.
I’m thinking I might be her for Halloween this year.
appleshampoo - January 11, 2012
My brother-in-law works for Progressive
He says they get a lot of love letters and such for Flo. She is pretty hot, but a bit too perky for my taste. Cut back on the coffee, dear.
VB1138 - January 11, 2012
She reminds me of a Stepford Wife.
Matthew - January 11, 2012
I don't know where you get that idea from.
Chris_FB - January 12, 2012
That is horrifying!
datboyeddiep - January 12, 2012
I hate how they include a computer screen on many of them to look like Web videos.
yuniform - January 12, 2012 via Android app
Did anyone doubt he would be coming out after he said he would?
Or can even the idiots see his honesty?
ThirteenOfTwo - January 11, 2012
He's not gay, first of all.
EequalsMc2 - January 11, 2012
Just because he turned you down doesn't necessarily mean he's not gay.
ToddK - January 11, 2012
God dammit
Now Ichiro’s comment about “the ultimate weapon” puts all sorts of weird images in my head.
ThirteenOfTwo - January 11, 2012
I imagined them together in a Takashi Miike film
SuperDopaLiciousFunkStar - January 12, 2012 via mobile
Something tells me I shouldn't google this
d0nkey - January 12, 2012
He's an action movie / thriller movie sort of director
You’re not being rickrolled into looking for bukkake or something.
Chris_FB - January 12, 2012
"Ichi the Killer" was really about Ichiro?
Lots of torture in them thar movies. I hope Kawasaki isn’t into torture of his beloved idols.
Craptastic-J - January 12, 2012
I don't know how Z has any time to personally make announcements about such minor additions
You’d think he would be spending all his time trying to negotiate a contract with Prince Fielder
Punkhazard - January 11, 2012
His ISO doesn't fluctuate so he should be a star.
CapSea - January 11, 2012
Given his low ISO
At least we know he’ll be clutch, right?
(Wait, what do you mean I can’t turn things around like that?)
J0SER - January 12, 2012
If only it could.
Figgins: Clutch pinch hitter master!
Aussie Mariner - January 12, 2012
Ichiro doesn't play in Tacoma *yet*. But...
Kawasaki actually has a secret plan he got from longtime friend Tanya Harding. In which, his brother in law waits in the team tunnel after the game and hits Ichiro in the leg with a pipe, thus bruising his leg so deeply that he has to go on an extended rehab assignment in… (you guessed it) Tacoma. There’s more than one way to get to play alongside your hero.
116 - January 11, 2012
Seems like more of a Kathy Bates/Stephen King thing.
yuniform - January 12, 2012 via Android app
Wow he and that pitcher look alike
Poochie - January 11, 2012
What are you trying to imply?
datboyeddiep - January 12, 2012
MLB Needs the "Enforcer"...
Hockey has it. A guy who goes out there just to hurt people and scare them enough to be cautious.
We now have one. Sure, he may be skinny, but so are most of the other players. Send him out there to ignore gameplay and just run into basemen and suddenly the Mariners are better. He gets suspended for four games, then goes back…and every first baseman will be terrified he’ll ignore the bag and do a flying leg kick to the face instead of running through.
Sidi - January 11, 2012
I must confess.
I have wondered what would happen if a runner at home plate double leg/slammed the catcher to try and jar the ball loose.
Aussie Mariner - January 12, 2012
It's obvious that you haven't met "Mr Snappy".
ToddK - January 12, 2012
...aaaand Bill Swartz goes with the Kawasaki/Suzuki joke first thing this am,
msb - January 12, 2012
It's a good thing Danny Graves doesn't play anymore.
ThomasG - January 12, 2012
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