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PRINCE FIELDER WATCH 2012

Hello and welcome to the latest in our series of PRINCE FIELDER WATCHes. I was going to write this PRINCE FIELDER WATCH last night until I didn't because I wanted to exercise instead. Now I am writing this PRINCE FIELDER WATCH...at this writing...even though it's two in the afternoon and I haven't had a bite to eat for like five hours. You know how children get really surly and short-tempered when they're hungry? The same goes for me, except even moreso. The way I figure, I'm bigger than a child, so the magnitude of my bad attitude is bigger than that of a child. Just in case you can't tell I got my college degree in science. And not one of those shit sciences like biology. A science that makes you think. If fields of scientific study were urban food trucks, biology would be a carpet cleaner company van. (They don't have food.)

Has Prince Fielder signed a contract?
No.

Has Prince Fielder signed a contract with the Seattle Mariners?
No.

Is Prince Fielder close to signing a contract?
According to Barry Bloom, whose name reminds me how much I like hiking in August, Fielder will sign with somebody before the start of spring training. At least, that's what Scott Boras says. If Scott Boras is telling the truth, then Fielder is closer to signing a contract than he was the last time we did this. If Scott Boras is not telling the truth because he is Scott Boras, then who the hell knows, maybe Fielder will quit baseball and join a monastery (with a kickass softball team). Fielder has so many options in front of him. Not all of them involve continuing his playing career. Only a very small fraction do!

What does your gut tell you?
That I'm starving. Didn't you read the first paragraph? I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's somewhere just a little better than Arby's!

What is the latest?
I'm glad* you asked! Yesterday, in the surprise to end all surprises, there were somewhat conflicting reports. One came from Bill Ladson, and the other came from Adam Kilgore.

* not glad

Both Ladson and Kilgore write about the Nationals, which is why they figure so prominently. Ladson led with a sentence stating that there's a "99 percent chance" the Nationals won't sign Fielder. That's a pretty strong sentence. Ladson subsequently softened his lead sentence, saying that the Nationals are only interested in Fielder if his price comes down, which should be obvious. If someone were willing to meet Fielder's current price, he probably would've signed. Ladson passed along word that members of the Nationals organization fear that Fielder could be a DH pretty soon. Not with them, though. Because they don't have the DH. Haha idiots

As for Kilgore, he led with a sentence basically saying "don't mind the Ladson report." A source told him that the Nationals are pursuing Fielder "patiently and aggressively," which are two words that I don't equate with one another. Baseball owners have been meeting in Arizona, and in Arizona, the Nationals' owners met with Scott Boras. Boras is trying to negotiate with ownership, rather than with front offices, so they were presumably meeting about Fielder. The Nationals' owners were not the only owners with whom Boras met.

From all this, per usual, we have learned nothing. One guy told me on Twitter that Peter Gammons said flat-out that Prince Fielder doesn't want to play in Seattle, so take that for whatever it's worth. It's probably worth nothing, but the same could be said of everything else. I think the last report we've had of actual value was Prince Fielder Becomes Free Agent.

The Rangers are supposedly out on Fielder if they sign Yu Darvish. No guarantees. The deadline to sign Darvish is next week. The Rangers will almost certainly sign Yu Darvish. Boras presumably won't allow Fielder to sign until he knows for sure where the Rangers stand. There exists some possibility that Boras gets sufficiently frustrated that he has Fielder sign a one-year contract so as to re-enter the market after the season. This possibility is slim.

Are the Mariners still in the thick of things?
I see no reason to believe otherwise.

There are reports that it could snow in Portland this weekend!
We've all heard that one before. We've all heard that one before. :(

3 recs  |  47 comments

Comments

Snow is nice in theory but idiotic in practice and you should feel bad for wanting it all over your roads.
I'm not planning to drive anywhere
Yeah, the whole point of snow in the Northwest is that you can be a lazy bitch and stay home.
I'm not planning to stay home either

druuuuuuunk

This is what I love about the western half of OR and WA

Snow is basically an excuse to skip work and go get drunk.

We do the exact same thing in San Diego, except with the sun
We don't do it once a week here because it doesn't snow very often!
I have a medical thing to go through so snow just means looking out the window

and that’s okay. It also tends to get really quiet, like the end of the world.

Not east of the mountains!

Where people know how to drive in the snow and are equipped for actual weather!

Yeah try driving on hills in the stuff.
Snow tires!

There are hills east of the Cascades, you know!

But yeah, some of the hills in Seattle are nasty. I’ve spun out several times just in the rain, so I’d want nothing to do with some of those places in snow.

Low gear, use the clutch to give you exactly as much torque as your wheels need to move and not a bit more, get a running start wherever possible

It’s doable

It's everywhere and I don't get snow days :(
There better not be snow in Portland this weekend, I have to move my shit back down there for school.
Oh God I hope it snows!

Snow is fun!

Who negotiates on behalf of Mariners ownership?

This is one of many times when it looks rather amateur to not have visible and accountable ownership.

You don't honestly expect negotiations to take place in public, do you?
You should ask Mariners in the other thread
Or, you know, Howard Lincoln is supposed to represent ownership.
I'm guessing this is a question regarding Boras negotiating directly with owners over Fielder.

If Boras won’t negotiate with Z and will only talk to the owner, then Howard Lincoln represents the ownership group. Since there are multiple people in the ownership group I can only assume Lincoln has been told what the ownership group is willing to spend and is negotiating based on that.

THERAPY
TheRapists, please, for 300 Alex.
If it's gonna snow it goddamn better do it on a work day so I don't have to go to work

Weekend snow is bullshit.

But I hear it will be on Monday, which is MLK day.
I ALREADY HAVE THAT DAY OFF
Sucker!

I really hope it snows Monday, because otherwise I have to figure out how to get to work when the bus by my house doesn’t run.

A good friend once bet that he could eat $30 worth of food at Arby's

he was doing well until I started reading the nutrition facts out loud

I'm surprised he could hear you read them over the sound of his cells screaming
The cells didn't have to scream as loud to be heard since all the arteries shut down and the blood stopped whooshing back and forth
I read very deliberately
When I was in Junior High the McDonalds near me in Port Orchard had an all you can eat night on Tuesdays

My friends and I used to go about once a month and having eating competitions. My personal record was $22 worth over a six hour span (this was back when the meals were only $2-$3). I honestly was not hungry for about two days after that and didn’t eat anything over that span, nor feel the need to.

All you can eat at Fast Food places

is good for drunk people. We had a Weinerschnitzel (not sure if I spelled that right) that had all you can eat hot dogs for 2 bucks on Sunday after 4pm. We used to get waisted watching football then go there and challenge one another. Plus they even served pitchers of beer! Awesome. Although every Monday I had a hard time going to work.

I had a friend do 6 melts in 2 1/2 minutes

He spent the next hour clutching his stomach and moaning like an idiot.

That's nasty

I worked at an Arby’s when I was younger. I used to like eating it before I saw what it looks like! How the hell is “roast beef” so damn bad for you. I think a Regular at Arby’s with no cheese has 35 grams of fat. Roast beef is actually healthy.

Rule of thumb, everything in a restaurant is twice as unhealthy as it would be at home

usually because of a copious amount of butter or oil added

Ace cropping job on that photo.
Needs more Japanese pitcher
I kinda miss Arby's

Not as much as I miss a lot of other things, but still.

Fielder is closer to signing now than before

even if Boras is lying.

Well, yeah, it's not as if he's going to sit out the season. That would be incredibly stupid.

So, technically every day that passes he’s closer to signing.

Snow is really good.
Don't be a rump ranger
I'm starting to think he could help the Mariners

Maybe we should make an offer?

Prince Fielder hits. The Mariners do not.

Opposites attract?

Who wouldn't want to make it wit a cartoon cat

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