Prince Fielder Filibuster

by Jeff Sullivan on Jan 5, 2012 11:25 AM PST in Around Major League Baseball

Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro speaks with Prince Fielder representative Scott Boras

Amaro: Hey Scott, Ruben here.
Amaro: I'm given to understand that your client, Mr. Fielder, could sign with the Washington Nationals.
Amaro: That would be a big move.
Amaro: Big move.
Amaro: But before anything happens, I wanted to tell you a story.
Amaro: /clears throat
Amaro: It all began on the windswept sagebrush plains of Sublette County, Wyoming.

[...]

Amaro: The pronghorn, see - a lot of times, it's mistaken for antelope.
Amaro: They roam and migrate in groups. Huge groups, sometimes.
Amaro: Do you know how fast a pronghorn can run?
Amaro: As fast as a cheetah!
Amaro: Or, if not as fast as a cheetah, almost as fast, and for longer.

[...]

Amaro: So I'm like, "benzodiazepine? More like DiCenzo-has-a-peen!"
Amaro: Haha!
Amaro: Well maybe you have to know him

[...]

Amaro: It's red.
Amaro: Red or white.
Amaro: Are they really white, though? It's more like clear, or translucent.
Amaro: Anyway, definitely not green.
Amaro: Green is the worst.

[...]

Amaro: Pomegranate blood can be realistic at first but then it turns pink.
Amaro: Blood isn't pink.
Amaro: I guess maybe Victorino's blood is pink.
Amaro: That guy weirds the shit out of me.

[...]

Amaro: Rapeseed

[...]

Amaro: "There's no way it's been under the cushion this whole time."
Amaro: It was under the cushion the whole time!
Boras: /looks at watch
Boras: It's October.
Amaro: It says that on your watch?
Boras: I am going to have so much mail.
Amaro: Oh god my family

14 recs | 16 comments

Comments

Mr. Amaro goes to Cooperstown.

And then he starts reading the CBA

VB1138 - January 5, 2012 reply

This is made all the funnier...

by filibusters no longer actually requiring the politicians to talk for endless amounts of time. Now they just say “filibuster!” and everybody goes home.

The Typical Idiot Fan - January 5, 2012 reply

No that is just the threat of filibuster.

If there was really a filibuster someone has to be speaking on the floor, or the VP can call the for a vote.

InSpokane - January 5, 2012 reply

But it works the same way.

Just threatening one causes everything to grind to a halt. Nobody dares to challenge it.

The Typical Idiot Fan - January 5, 2012 reply

Yes, let's please keep talking about American politics.

Eyebrows - January 5, 2012 via mobile reply

I was just explaining a process.

InSpokane - January 5, 2012 reply

More of a political tactic than a process. Purely academic, yes?

The Typical Idiot Fan - January 6, 2012 reply

Just get up off the ground, that's all I ask.

Get up there with that lady that’s up on top of this Capitol dome, that lady that stands for liberty. Take a look at this country through her eyes if you really want to see something. And you won’t just see scenery; you’ll see the whole parade of what Man’s carved out for himself, after centuries of fighting. Fighting for something better than just jungle law, fighting so’s he can stand on his own two feet, free and decent, like he was created, no matter what his race, color, or creed. That’s what you’d see. There’s no place out there for graft, or greed, or lies, or compromise with human liberties. And, uh, if that’s what the grownups have done with this world that was given to them, then we’d better get those boys’ camps started fast and see what the kids can do. And it’s not too late, because this country is bigger than the Fielders, or you, or me, or anything else. Great principles don’t get lost once they come to light. They’re right here; you just have to see them again! You think I’m licked. You all think I’m licked. Well, I’m not licked. And I’m going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause…

msb - January 5, 2012 reply