A few days ago, while walking by a McDonald's, Ms. Jeff decided to tell me about how McNuggets are made, or at least about how she thinks that McNuggets are made. I don't know how much of her story is true, and it's possible that all of her story is true, and hearing her story made me want to throw up. What follow below are some nuggets, but they are not McNuggets. They will not make anybody want to throw up, probably. They will also not make you fat and unattractive if consumed in large quantities. Sample these nuggets as often as you like! When doing so please remember to refresh a lot so I can get a raise.
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As you've heard, the Mariners signed relievers Hong-Chih Kuo and Shawn Camp to Major League contracts. There was some possibility that Kuo would sign a minor league contract, but he did not sign a minor league contract, as he signed a Major League contract. Assuming that Kuo doesn't come completely undone in spring training, it's looking like the bullpen is mostly sorted out.
There'll be Brandon League to close. There'll be Kuo and George Sherrill from the left side. There'll be Camp from the right side, and probably Shawn Kelley, and probably Tom Wilhelmsen. Then maybe the seventh slot goes to Blake Beavan or Charlie Furbush. The bullpen isn't completely closed off and guys like Aaron Heilman or Josh Kinney could earn a spot given the breaks, but two slots just disappeared today in one press release. Just like with the Tigers' Prince Fielder press release lolololol
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To make roster room for the relievers, the Mariners designated both Chris Gimenez and Mike Wilson for assignment. Neither comes as much of a shock although I'm still trying to figure out who Yoervis Medina is. The thing about these moves is that both Gimenez and Wilson could clear waivers and remain in the organization so it's not yet time to say goodbye.
If Gimenez gets claimed, it'll be because he's a catcher who can play other positions. Last year he started at catcher, first base and left field. If Gimenez doesn't get claimed, it'll be because he hasn't demonstrated that he can really hit. He's been passable in triple-A. He's been not-passable in the Majors. He's another guy with a lower career OPS than Hong-Chih Kuo.
If Wilson gets claimed, it'll be because some front office doesn't believe in quad-A hitters. Last year in Tacoma he put up a .973 OPS. If Wilson doesn't get claimed, it'll be because last year in Tacoma Carlos Peguero put up a .923 OPS, and Michael Saunders put up an .864 OPS, and Ryan Langerhans put up a 1.000 OPS. Out of context, wow, Mike Wilson! In context, oh, hey, Mike Wilson. I would personally like to see what Wilson could do with 500 at bats, but Major League Baseball isn't an experiment over which I have complete control. I wanted much more to see what Wily Mo Pena could do with 500 at bats and that didn't pan out. Maybe it's also Mike Wilson's time to turn his attention to Asia.
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According to Greg Johns, some catcher named Christian Carmichael tested positive for PEDs. I guess I don't know if he tested positive for PEDs or PED. I don't know a whole lot because who on Earth is Christian Carmichael? I bet he's the guy who catches Yoervis Medina. Baseball-Reference tells me he's 19 and Hawaiian and the guy the Mariners took in the sixth round in 2010. The Lookout Landing archives tell me we've actually written his name before. But he's completely, and I mean completely slipped my mind since the draft. Because of the PED or PEDs, he won't play for a while in 2012, so be sure to account for that in wherever you account for these things.
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We'll close with some Hong-Chih Kuo bat flip .gifs.
That is an absolutely flawless, magnificent bat flip. That is a bat flip that has been practiced. That is a bat flip that has been practiced so often that it came naturally upon Kuo's first-ever home run. Hong-Chih Kuo has practiced his bat flip a lot.
7 recs | 56 comments
Kuo's been taking lessons from Bret Boone.
Also I would love to see Mike Wilson in Japan. Probably would hit close to 50 bombs.
WSUSeagull - February 6, 2012
So that's what he requires 6-7 hours of prep for
Bearskin Rugburn - February 6, 2012
A camera buried at the fringe of grass?
Like right in front of home plate? That is decadent
brodiewr - February 6, 2012
Honey, I Shrunk The Pitcher
Tucci Mane - February 6, 2012
It's a shame that video of this hr doesn't exist in the Dodgers video archives
In fact it’s as if 6/12/07 never existed despite having back to back to back hr’s involving a tapemeasure shot from the pitcher who also went 7 strong for the W. None of that is highlight worthy? Standards are high in La-La Land.
C Dubya - February 6, 2012
I do not get the Camp signing at all. Kuo makes sense in many ways, but Camp?
He has had three straight seasons of, as near as makes no difference, absolute mediocrity. He’s 36, so he’s not getting better. I realize it doesn’t really matter too much but why give money to a guy who doesn’t really offer an upgrade and blocks some more interesting guys? Unless this is a prelude to a League trade, which I just don’t see happening since the team didn’t trade League when it would have actually made sense to do so, what’s the point?
abender20 - February 6, 2012
I think you're too harsh using the phrase mediocrity. Camp's been mostly an average pitcher.
And the more I think about it, the more he doesn’t really block anyone at the moment.
Matthew - February 6, 2012
And it's not hard to make him go away if Chance Ruffin or someone starts running a 12K/9 K rate in Tacoma
seattlebruin - February 6, 2012
True, but with this year being what it is, I'd rather see Ruffin get a shot from the get go.
Goose - February 6, 2012
On the first point, I concede I'm being unfair.
League, Sherrill, Kuo, Camp, Kelley, Beavan/Furbush as long man. That’s 6, so the team has to carry a 7 man bullpen just to get Ruffin or Wilhelmsen in the mix, assuming Kuo makes it on. Given the Olivo/Jaso/Montero deal, this team probably shouldn’t keep a 7 man pen. Ruffin and Wilhelmsen should be on the 25.
abender20 - February 6, 2012
Let's be realistic though, there's almost 0 chance the Mariners carry a 6 man bullpen, especially with an unproven rotation
We haven’t consistently carried a five man bench since what, 2003?
Corco - February 6, 2012
For whatever reason in the last ten or so years the five man bench on an American League team has become fairly rare
I don’t like it much either, but I’d be shocked if it changed
Corco - February 6, 2012
We went with long for a decent stretch last season if I remember correctly,
but I never figured they’d repeat that in 2012 given the state of the rotation this season.
Ruffin and Delabar I’m pretty ‘eh’ on the need for them to break camp with the Mariners. Neither is stagnated at Triple-A.
Matthew - February 6, 2012
Went with long? What the fuck, Matthew?
Went with a 6-man pen.
Matthew - February 6, 2012
Oh yeah, before we traded Fister and we never used our bullpen
We did break camp with seven though- I think the only time we haven’t done that since 03 was in 2008? The year Charlton Jimerson broke camp with us for some reason. He was replaced by a pitcher like 3 days later.
Corco - February 6, 2012
That was a crazy stretch too
If I remember right we had a six man bench at the same time Jeff Gray never got to pitch- we essentially had five relievers for like a month
Corco - February 6, 2012
*six man pen
Corco - February 6, 2012
People seem to be having a rough time today.
JY - February 6, 2012
The six man bullpen has become so unconventional that nobody even knows how to type it
Corco - February 7, 2012
What is the difference between mediocre and average?
Schuxu - February 7, 2012
Average is usually between good and bad,
while mediocre is definitely not good.
xmet - February 7, 2012
Not to mention, in its SABR-oriented usage, an "average" player is quite good
Whereas the colloquial sense of an “average” player is closer to what statistical folks mean by “replacement level” (an “average” starting pitcher or position player is worth about 2 WAR)
J0SER - February 7, 2012
Camp signing might something to do with him having type B status.
I haven’t been able to figure out if Type B free agents signed this offseason will net draft picks when signed next year (although its clear that the Type A/B will be changed completely next offseason). However, if Camp nets a draft pick then signing him essentially “makes” the M’s money since even draft picks on the low end of the compensation scale are worth more than Camp will sign for- http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/how-compensation-picks-stifle-free-agent-salaries/
silverbook1 - February 6, 2012
Mind
blown.
FWBrodie - February 6, 2012
Are there any more type B free agents available?
C Dubya - February 6, 2012
Vlad Guerrero?!
EequalsMc2 - February 6, 2012
Unless something has drastically changed, he'd have to be offered arbitration first anyway, which he'd most likely take.
At best he’s more valuable via trade in July, and that’s if he performs.
CapSea - February 6, 2012
Also, if I'm not mistaken, this is no longer relevant anyway since Type B is now gone.
But even so it wasn’t likely to affect anything.
CapSea - February 6, 2012
Not a good move if the player
accepts the arbitration offer necessary to get compensation.
xmet - February 6, 2012
And wouldn't the M's have to offer him a qualifying contract of at least $12 MM to get draft pick compensation??
He might take all of two minutes to think about that before accepting.
nathaniel dawson - February 9, 2012
So if this was SBN 1.0 and we had to refresh to see new comments would you get more raises?
seattlebruin - February 6, 2012
I still have to refresh to see new comments.
Llewdor - February 6, 2012
According to Baseball Reference
Yoervis Medina through 262 innings in 2011 in the minors for the M’s. Workhorse!
niceguysfinishlast - February 6, 2012
*threw
I threw the ball through the wall.
Big Seahawk Loser - February 6, 2012
Carmichael?
I mean, I’m not surprised that no one knows him since he’s only been in a few games. My guess is that between all the injuries, he took something that would help him heal faster. Whatever.
JY - February 6, 2012
Batting practice with Kuo must take forever.
I mean, he must flip the bat after every BP dinger for it to come that naturally.
JLProck - February 6, 2012
I just hit the refresh button like 8 times
I am so awesome
beastwarking - February 6, 2012
Is it pronounced "kwo"?
Easley - February 6, 2012
Close enough
bluemax - February 6, 2012
Quo
Like “Status Quo.”
qwertyiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm - February 6, 2012
Good lord, that ball was CRUSHED!
I love this guy already.
Smegmalicious - February 6, 2012
It would be hilarious if it turned out Yoervis Medina was using a fake name
Corco - February 6, 2012
That bat flip makes my Jetsy Extrano
lemonverbena - February 6, 2012
Still a free agent :(
JY - February 6, 2012
Considering the state of the airline industry, this should come as no surprise.
ThomasG - February 7, 2012
Pretty bold move from a pitcher
but I like it
KTown029 - February 6, 2012
Forget about McNuggets
The latest hot item is chicken mcbites! Because the problem with chicken mcnuggets was that the ratio of actual chicken meat to fried sh!t was too damn high.
Nadingo - February 7, 2012
Helpful, as our hero is apparently quite sheltered from life's harsh realities
lemonverbena - February 7, 2012
I swear the guy in the commercial says, "Chicken McButts"
joof - February 7, 2012
Ah,
the tender part.
xmet - February 7, 2012
Also a problem was the ratio of chicken to other things.
abender20 - February 7, 2012
Kuo swags hard, apparently. Any way we can just replace him with Figgins and have a six man bullpen anyway?
JamMasterJesus - February 7, 2012
You want Figgins in the bullpen? As what, a target?
J0SER - February 7, 2012
Someone that can simulate a major league swing
But not actually hit anything. No risk to pitchers well being – mentally or physically.
blacknoiseNW - February 7, 2012
Figgins posted a career high contact rate last year
that was part of the problem
seattlebruin - February 7, 2012
Jered Weaver does not approve of this bat flip.
JLProck - February 7, 2012
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